...or or is the McCain campaign being run by R.P McMurphy?

Johnnie, we hardly knew ya.

Exactly who is running the McCain campaign? The Tasmanian Devil? Andy Dick? At least I now know why Cindy McCain accompanies the candidate everywhere. At first I thought she was doubling as his nurse. Now I can see that she's there to ensure that the candidate's head doesn't spin off into space. The entire affair gives new meaning to the Chinese Fire Drill.

It's not as though The Senator from Arizona was trailing by double digits. Considering that he's been forced to wear George 43 like an albatross, he isn't doing badly. Even as the Sanjaya Moment that was Sarah Palin is fading into oblivion, old John is still holding his own. (Insert your own cheap joke here!) Why then does every move that the Republican ticket makes appear so desperate? "I'm flying back to Washington to fix the financial crisis." Was he planning to use a plane? No offense Senator, but you've done enough. I'd sooner turn Yoko Ono loose on a rewrite of the National Anthem.

John McCain and his merry band of deregulators (Phil Gramm et al) have been at the forefront of the very financial policies that gave rise to the current crisis. Are we now to hand them a scapel and let them attempt to surgically remove the cancer they created? Why not call in Franklin Raines and Jack Abramoff? Let's see if any of the Keating Five are available... aside from John McCain, of course.

As to the willingness to debate; I'm slow to question the courage of any man especially someone with McCain's resume but, people change and the timidity shown by the McCain camp is a far cry from his stand as a fighter.

...or is saying something over and over enough to make it true?

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I am the reincarnation of Edward R. Morrow .

I am the reincarnation of Edward R. Morrow.

I am the reincarnation of Edward R. Morrow.

How am I doing so far? I didn't think so. So how come it appears to be working for the Republicans?

Sarah Palin continuously repeats the story that she rejected the bridge project intended to span the Tongass Narrows. (You know it as the bridge to nowhere.) John "if I were President" McCain wants to fire the chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission even though Christopher Cox, current chairman, is not a Presidential appointee. McCain, a lifelong defender of deregulation, now rails at a financial system without rules. As long as you stay away from newsmen who are likely to research the record and call you out as a liar, you can just make stuff up as you go along. You know you're in the funhouse when the most difficult questions you field come from comedienne Joy Behar on The View.

This style of prevarication became popular when the current administration began peddling the Iraq War. "Iraq caused 9-11." "Iraq is building nukes." "We will be treated as liberators." and the ever popular "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." Can you imagine the surprise and delight when the gang in the White House discovered that Goebbels was right; you can feed a gullible population limitless amounts of crap provided you say it often enough and you are perceived to be in authority? America wants to believe that its leaders are sincere. Tragically, that naivete is being perverted by the people in power to further their own agenda. Stay asleep America. Your President is on the job.

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And on the subject of Clueless George, exactly how much did Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson explain to his Commander in Chief about the financial bailout currently working its way toward Congress? Do you suspect that he used small words and spoke very slowly? We know that George has an MBA from Yale but I suspect he used it as a coaster at his last kegger during graduation. Still he did appoint Mr. Paulson to his post at Treasury reinforcing the notion that even blind squirrels find nuts periodically. Based on the events of last week we can only conclude that George has, in fact, left the building...and only seven years too late.

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If you can secure a copy of last Sunday's New York Times, check out the story about the retirement benefits paid to employees of the Long Island Railroad. It seems that 94% , that's right 94%, of retired workers have applied for and received disability benefits. Their work contract permits railroad workers to retire as early as 50 years old and almost all of them immediately apply for disability. The ruling body that approves these claims, the Railroad Retirement Board, virtually always grants the request. And we're not just talking about guys who maintain the track or drive trains. The payments also go to office staff including the former deputy general counsel (must be carpal tunnel) and the director of community affairs (sore throat from all that talking). The labyrinthine system of sweetheart union contracts and Byzantine work rules governing America's rail system insures that anything is possible. Railroad officials state that most of the disabled workers were able bodied prior to applying for early retirement. No kidding?

In response to the mountain of evidence of fraud and maleficence, L.I.R.R. president, Helena Williams said, "The railroad's on-time record has never been better." In fairness, this is not Ms. Williams' fault. Many of the absurd work rules that govern life on the rails have their origins in the 19th century. Until 1990, a railroad crew was paid for a full day's work after traveling only 100 miles; the distance a steam locomotive could travel in a day. In 1990 it was raised ...to 108 miles. Firemen/stokers were required, by law,to ride in the cab of diesel trains until the 1990's. Welcome to Hooterville.

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Since when did candidates for President and Vice President get permission to campaign without a tie? People, we are not running for president of the Yacht club or the Moose lodge. This is a serious job. The least you could do is dress up for the interview. I understand that it's hot out there on the campaign trail. I get that you are trying to appeal to the "regular guy". That doesn't mean that you get to stand on the podium dressed for dinner at "the club". A candidate for President should not be attired more casually than the junior class at Cardinal Hayes High School.

This is just the most obvious example of our would-be leaders attempting to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Time was when a serious candidate was required to face a grilling on Face The Nation and Meet The Press. Bill Clinton appeared on The Tonight Show. I expect that Sarah Palin's next attempt to establish credibility will be a guest shot on "Survivor, Wasilla". When did this happen? When did America decide that we could only be led by "average" people? Was FDR average? Was Nixon? Kennedy? OK, Lincoln might have appeared average, but that's not what got him elected.

Ask yourself (especially if you are a Sarah Palin groupie), could you be President? Could your spouse? How about your town mayor? Then why, in the name of God, would you apply the "she's just like us" litmus test to a candidate for the highest office in the land? "Elite" is a compliment. "Bright, eloquent, polished" are things to be admired, not derided. I have an idea, let's vote for someone who's "smarter than a fifth grader". In the long run, we will spend a lot less time answering the question, "What were you thinking?"

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Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn have demanded that the city close two bicycle paths in their Crown Heights neighborhood. Apparently the ultraconservative sect objects to the paucity of clothing worn/ not worn by the female cyclists. I concur. There should be a law that, the more skin you have, the less you can show.

Considering all of the issues that divide the Jews and the Muslims, it's comforting to see that the two groups share one belief...scantily clad women are the tool of Satan. Rumor has it that both the Jews and Muslims have banded together in a rare show of solidarity to demand that the Walt Disney company buy Donald Duck a pair of pants.

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And under the heading, "you can't make this stuff up", a mixed-breed male dog named Scooby made legal history by testifying at the murder trial of a man accused of hanging his master. The dog barked furiously when he saw the suspect. Upon cross examination, the defense lawyer argued that considering that the crime took place two and a half years ago (17 dog years), the dog's memory must be ruled unreliable. Oh, did I mention that the case was tried in France? Mon Dieu! Do you imagine that the pooch was sworn in by putting his right paw on a copy of Lassie, Come Home? What must the trial transcript look like? "Will the court reporter please read back the last response? Woof,woof, woof arf, arf, woof. I'll stop now."

...or has the American political process been perverted by American Idol?

If you're expecting to see the Vice Presidential debate moderated by Simon Cowell, you're not alone. While no one was looking, our system of choosing a President has morphed into a perversion of reality television.



The irony here is palatable. Millions more citizens voted for Clay Aiken and Reuben Stoddard then voted for Bush/Cheney so it's clear that selecting a pretty face is more interesting to Mr. & Mrs. Nebraska than choosing the leader of the free world. (Sadly, Misters Aiken and Stoddard have displayed more talent than Bush/Cheney ever have.) We have gone from electing the guy you want to have a beer with to mooning over Miss Congeniality. Considering that Middle America has responded to sizzle over steak, form over substance and flash over facts, we should hardly be surprised. The nomination of Sarah Palin is the quintessential case of misdirection. We are through the looking glass. Knowledge clearly doesn't matter. How straight your teeth are is clearly of more consequence than if you've ever read a paper or watched a news program. Charlie Gibson may as well have asked Ms. Palin to comment on whether Jennifer Aniston will ever find true love.





I really don't get it. We are prepared to allow a dim bulb like Sarah Palin say absolutely anything for no other reason than her proclivity for breeding. After six years and six months of needless war, how does any politician have the gall to trot out the tired and discredited lie that we are "fighting the people that attacked us"? Even the lame-brain in the White House (124 days and counting) has stopped trying to sell that bit of tripe to the American people. Is it possible that we let Sarah Palin get away with spouting ancient untruths simple because she doesn't know any better? The country likes her and is empathetic because most of them are as clueless as she is. You wonder if perhaps much of the America believes that Saddam Hussein really did engineer 9/11 and the New York Times is just inventing contrary stories to discredit George Bush. Sarah knows the truth. After all, she can see Russia from her bedroom window.





The impression you get is that, because Barak Obama is short on executive experience, it became OK to nominate someone that is all ideology and no smarts. It is difficult to believe that John McCain would be so reckless as to risk the country he professes to love by entrusting it to a person that suggested attacking Russia as a foreign policy option. Even Ronald Reagan knew better than that. A Presidency of McCain-Palin may actually cause the world's leaders to look back longingly to the tranquil days of Bush-Cheney.





McCain doesn't get a pass for this. This isn't just politics as usual. It stands as the most startling example of what this old fogey is prepared to do to get elected. Someone needs to ask Grandpa McCain if he wants to live in a country run by Sarah Palin. He could always ask the Vietnamese if his old accommodations at the HH are still available.



Anyway, the next time we see Sarah it will be in an interview conducted by Sean Hannity. Perfect! Why not just let Karl Rove conduct it? True, Obama was on with Keith Olberman but he also appeared with Bill O'Reilly.



Let's see what sort of tough questions the folks at Fox News have written. "Governor Palin. With all the laundry you do with five kids and a working husband, which detergent works best?" "What brand of ammunition is best for dropping a moose?" How about, "Governor, it's reported that there are more crystal meth labs in Wasilla than televisions. Care to comment?" "Well, Sean, when I became mayor of Wasilla the science department in the local high school was just dreadful. Under my direction, each student now has a thorough grounding in chemistry. Those labs are just an unfortunate byproduct. I should point out that those little lab rats handle the chemicals with extreme care. We teach safety first".



This interview has the potential to be among the most bias, pandering, ass-kissing bits of journalism ever witnessed. Fox makes not the slightest pretext of being impartial. They will give Sarah every opportunity to recant, undo and explain all the gaffs from the Charlie Gibson mess of last week. Not for anything but, if you're not qualified to sit through an interview by a reasonably affable newsman, how are you qualified to be Vice President of the VFW let alone the Vice President of the United States? Even the contestants on American Idol have some talent...and they don't get a free pass from Simon either.

...or is America the place where particle colliders wear suits and ties.?

In the peaceful pastures of Meyrin, Switzerland, the world's largest particle accelerator has begun doing whatever particle accelerators do; presumably accelerating particles. Although most of us could never hope to understand why accelerating particles is important/interesting, there are those in the scientific community who are fearful of creating uncontrollable, matter-sucking, world-destroying black holes. If however, science wishes a practical experience in matter-sucking, they need look no further than American presidential politics.

Our version of the run for the White House has degenerated from a thoughtful discussion of the critical issues of the day (that thoughtful discussion lasted about as long as it takes a particle in the accelerator to circumnavigate the 17 mile track... approximately 186,000 miles per second), to a 2008 version of the school-yard taunt "I'm rubber, you're glue". If Republicans laugh at the rock star status of Barak Obama the Dems return serve with derisive remarks about the "all hair, no head" VP choice, Sarah Palin. If the Democrats deride the fact that Ms. Palin's experience consists mostly of learning the fine points of the up-do, the GOP inquires as to how many years Barak Obama was a prisoner of war, not counting Southside Chicago.

It's a standoff. (We'd call it a Mexican standoff but no one, and I mean no one, wants to discuss immigration). The troubling issue in this mess is that something has been tragically lost...namely John McCain. If you think that's an exaggeration, by all means attend a rally...if you can get in. McCain is the warm-up act. He's the local garage band that opens for Madonna. The crowd can't wait for him to finish his boring recitation about how he was right about the surge, and he's a maverick, blah, blah blah. The dirty little secret here is that if McCain stopped showing up at these events, no one would care. Don't take my word for it. Wait and see how many times in the next 54 days you see them appear separately. Everyone wants to see her. McCain couldn't fill a booth at McDonald's if he promised to pay for the burgers.

When deciding whom to chose as a running mate, McCain had to find someone that wouldn't upstage him. That effectively removed Romney, Thompson, Huckabee, Giuliani and just about everyone else in the free world. Face it, a plaster cast of Chester A. Arthur would put McCain in the background. He needed an unknown politician who would excite the faithful (and the Faithful) while not appearing so dynamic that voters weren't rooting for McCain's 73 years to take a toll. Enter Sarah.

Tragically for McCain, Sarah Palin is the worst of both worlds. She has zero experience so she adds nothing to the substance of McCain's message. She is also a new flavor in the vanilla pantheon of presidential politics. Sarah Palin is the new, if untested, quarterback in a game that seemed all but out of reach. She's the reason to go to a Republican event. Until the hated media can dig up some shady doings in Alaska under all that snow, Sarah is the shiniest penny in sight. (If you want to see how the Sarah Palin choice is going over in the McCain household, look at the facial expressions on Cindy McCain at political events. She looks like Eliot Spitzer's wife at "the" press conference.) McCain has taken to wearing sunglasses to cut down the glare from Sarah Palin's smile.

The dirty rotten scoundrels in the press are just beginning to shake off the pixie dust from Sarah's speech at the convention and unravel her blanket of perfection. So far, no one appears to care that: a) she did not oppose the bridge, although she did take the earmark money; b) she did fire the boss of her ex-brother-in-law for not responding to her pressures and, c) she did not sell the Alaska jet that was used for prisoner shipments as well as transportation for the governor on ebay. However, even a women whose primary talent appears to be the ability to get pregnant, cannot escape her past...what little of it there is.

The role of a free press, like it or not, is to vet public officials (God knows, McCain didn't). It was the press, especially the dreaded New York Times, that outed Bill Clinton's shenanigans in Arkansas. It was a newspaper (OK, maybe The National Enquirer isn't a newspaper) that chased John Edwards to ground in a hotel men's room. Richard Nixon was done in by The Washington Post. For the Republicans to demonize the media does a terrible disservice to the country. We deserve to see our candidates questioned by aggressive, prepared journalists. If Sarah Palin can't stand up to a polite but sharp interview by Tom Brokaw, how in the world will she handle Vladimir Putin or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? They won't care if she is a girl or a mom. Neither should we.

Barak Obama has proved that style can draw a crowd but when the applause dies, you better have something more than a recipe for oatmeal cookies. If you want the people of America to elect you to high office you need more than a nice smile and a good wardrobe. If you've changed more diapers than state policies, we want to know before the election, not after. You may still win but not because you hid from the media. Afer all, we knew that George W. Bush was an applehead and we voted for him anyway. We have 54 days to learn who Sarah Palin is. If John McCain reads the papers, he may find out also.

...or has the John McCain of 2000 returned to us?

John! Where the hell have you been?
Have you ever seen the movie The Natural? Home town boy, full of talent and hope travels aboard a train bound for can't-miss stardom. On the way he encounters a femme fatale who seduces our hero and shoots him. (In the film, she also shoots herself. In real life the current President only shoots himself in the foot...over and over). Anyway, after a long period of convalescence and reflection, the hero reappears, broken but not bowed, and takes center stage for one more glorious swing of the bat. Fireworks! THE END.

The John McCain that walked to the podium on Thursday at the Xcel Energy Center bore a striking resemblance to the pilot of the Straight talk Express of eight years ago. Anyone listening to the speech had to be impressed with the cool, confident upbeat Senator from Arizona. Gone was the right wing rhetoric that has soiled his recent campaign. Gone too was the sucking up to George W. Bush and his so obviously failed administration. McCain was the Republican Nominee for President of The United States and, God-damn-it, he doesn't owe George Bush or Dick Cheney a damn thing.

America saw a John McCain in St. Paul that the evil forces of Republicanism identified in 2000. An off-the-reservation maverick (I'm starting to hate that word) who could never be relied upon to just "go along". George Bush, on the other hand, was a clueless lightweight who could easily be handled by Cheney, Rumsfeld and the other holdovers from his father's crowd. No doubt about it, McCain had to be stopped. They elicited the paunchy Machiavelli, Karl Rove to torpedo McCain. Whether McCain might have made a better American leader never entered into the equation. They laid a trap in South Carolina and, before you could say "illegitimate black baby" GWB was accepting the nomination. Well, that was then and this is now.

During his acceptance speech, McCain took steps to right a few wrongs. He was unafraid to lambaste the direction in which the country is heading (thanks to GWB). He was unafraid to point out that America needed change. (Now where have I heard that before?) I half expected to switch the channel to HBO and find McCain calling Bush an unprincipled asshole. McCain was also unafraid to go head to head with one of the most powerful forces in America today...Thursday Night Football. As in McCain's speech, Washington took a terrible beating.

It's comforting to believe that your leaders are reasoned, intelligent people who have a sense of what is right and, if elected, are prepared to act correctly. Nothing, and I mean nothing about the last eight years would provide any of that comfort. The cynical , politics-is-everything, scorch the earth policies of the Cheney/Bush administration (let's start calling a spade a spade) provided a sad lesson in how not to govern. Not since the paranoid days of Richard Nixon have we seen this level of vitriolic leadership. Even McCain was holding his nose.

If McCain's calculations are correct, he can let Sarah Palin carry the conservative banner in the campaign while John focuses on the moderates. They can sell the reversal of Rowe v. Wade to the Evangelicals (include the Catholics) who clearly don't care about any other issue, while peddling strong leadership and superior experience to people with a little more on the ball. Makes sense to me!

The only situation that might derail this glorious plan is that pesky electorate. Should McCain's message fail to gain traction among the faithful in Ohio, Virginia and Colorado,I expect Honest John to resort to some of the sleazy tactics that surfaced during the summer. Karl Rove may not be on McCain's speed dial but his card is smoldering in the Roledex.

We have two months until the "only poll that matters" is taken. The Obama campaign has shown remarkable restraint in the field of below-the-belt politics. (Let's remember that bloggers who attempt to exploit the pregnancy of Bristol Palin do not represent the candidate.) This is shaping up to be a principled contest, run by two men who truly believe that the American people can decide the outcome on the issues. Let's just hope that the McCain people pay more attention to the Marquis of Queensbury and less to the WWE.

...or is it time to party like it's 2000?

I'm soooo ashamed. I felt compelled to watch a little of the Republican National Convention last night and it was most informative.(Oh please. If Lincoln were alive , he would have been watching the Yankee game on ESPN by 8:45.)


I heard Rudy Giuliani (wearing a nice pants suit and only a little less makeup than Sarah Palin) tell me about the evils of being cosmopolitan. This from a man whose Manhattan apartment holds more people than live in Wasilla, Alaska. He attacked the "left wing media" ( there are people in America who think "left wing media" is one word) as attempting to besmirch Sweet Sarah Palin whose only sin was not wearing gingham and a bonnet to the convention. To be fair, he waited almost fifteen minutes before maneuvering his speech to the subject of 9-/11...a new personal record.

There was also Mitt Romney, another gazillionaire in a $5,000 suit, preaching about working class values and how the cynical left mocks them. I guess he meant me. Romney went on to beat all the usual drums: Democrats will tax your first born, Democrats want to make government bigger (although it's difficult to imagine how they could make government bigger than the current President) Democrats want to invite Islamic terrorists to the Super Bowl. Hell, even I'm becoming fearful of Democrats.

Even the Reverend Huckabee took a few swats at the Obama pinata. I think I changed channels when Huckabee affirmed that Democrats want abortions to be legal up until the child's first communion.

Still I came back for Sarah; or at least some of Sarah. Truth be told, she was good. If she wanted to be any more wholesome, she would have to have had her hair in pigtails and ridden in on the back of a cow. We are nothing if not a polished nation. I'm guessing that someone nixed the suggestion that she breast feed during the speech. (Exactly why is it necessary to have her four-month old at the entire convention? Probably couldn't get a sitter.) I was grateful that Ms. Palin avoided any lengthy discourse on her commander-in-chief experience. I half expected a back shot of her brandishing an AR-15 at the head of the Alaska National Guard, staring down the Russkies from across the Behring Sea. I missed the end, but I'm quite sure that God got at least one mention.



Republicans, as we all know, are the low tax, small government, big defense, keep government out of your life party. So explain how, in election after election, the party of the super rich purports to represent the working class. Incidentally, one supposes that there aren't many black working class Americans if one is to judge by the faces of color in Minneapolis this week. But I digress.

Republicans are nothing if not successful, powerful leaders in all fields of endeavour. In other words, the elite. It is therefore fascinating that, in the vernacular of the GOP, elite is such a dirty word. I'd like to be called elite. (I'd like to be called anything beside asshole!) These guys are rich (except for Sarah Palin). They run the sweatshops in the Philippines; the insurance companies that deny your uninsured surgery; the giant agri-businesses that import slave labor from Mexico and companies like Wal Mart employing thousands of under-insured workers.What, in God's name, would make anyone think they have working class America's interest at heart? These are the exploiters. Run away! Be afraid...be very afraid.

..or is Joe Lieberman just another self-important putz?

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Really Joe!

You can call yourself an "independent" if it makes you feel better but at the end of the day you just like hearing the sound of your own voice. Even with an ego the size of yours, there are some things you don't do. You don't embarrass your party by shilling for the opposition. It's one thing to express support for some position or policy that is embraced by the other guy but that's a far cry from appearing at their convention. You look like some reformed drug addict who can't wait to testify that he "once was lost but now am found".

Everyone applauded your independent senatorial victory after the Democratic party in Connecticut found you chronically, insufficiently liberal. Hurt feelings is hardly an excuse for whoring yourself to the Republicans. Grow some class, Joe. The people of Connecticut (remember them?) didn't vote for some born-again conservative. They liked your style and they apparently have a longer memory than you have. They remember the Joe Lieberman who stood with Al Gore. Think you could get elected in Connecticut today?

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Amid the screaming and shouting about Sarah Palin and her soap opera family, has anyone considered the feelings of Bristol Palin's "fiancee"?. Poor Levi Johnston. As a former high school horndog, I can appreciate the boy's plight. One minute you're engaging in a little horizontal hip hop with the Governor's daughter; the next minute you're acting all serious at the Republican National Convention. Dude!!

Just wait until the press starts interviewing your buds. I'm sure that the bloggers will be sensitive. So, Bobby, did Levi tell all you guys that "abstinence only" was just a sort of guideline? Did he tell you where they did it?

It's unlikely that 60 Minutes will feel the need to pursue this story but The New York Post will feel no such restraint. (When Joe Lieberman learned that Bristol's guy was named Levi, he invited him over for a brisket.)

I can just see Karl Rove and Dick Cheney, shotgun at the ready, explaining to young Mr. Johnston what his marching orders will look like for the next few months. Levi probably wishes he had joined the National Guard with Bristol's brother. Then he could be making tracks with Track.

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So I hear that John McCain did some time in the Navy. Who knew?

Honest to God, if Fred "slow talking" Thompson spoke for five more minutes about John McCain's victories at sea, I was going to need a Dramamine. I thought we were trying to elect a President not the captain of the Minnow.
Question: How do you make a three day convention seem like four days?
Answer: Ask Fred Thompson and Norm Collman to speak.

The convention so far has more closely resembled a remake of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. McCain is a war hero. We get it. He got shot down and spent several unpleasant years as the guest of North Vietnam. OK. Did anyone mention that he graduated from Annapolis ranked 894 in a class of 899?. Didn't you think that flight school was only for the best and the brightest? Wow! Good thing dad's an admiral.

Anyway, now that we are presumably finished listening to how McCain charged up San Juan Hill and stormed the beaches at Normandy, we will get an earful of how Sarah Palin wrapped bandages at Gettysburg and, with one wave of her sword, drove the abortionists from Alaska. Even Keith Olberman can't save this show.

...or is John McCain cagier than we think?

Ooops!
Someone's got a Republican in the oven. If you want to know what people in Alaska do on those long, cold winter nights (if you don't play hockey) just ask Bristol Palin. Of all the lessons learned at the Palin home over the last 17 years, the one that stuck appears to involve: 1) women, 2) procreation. Grandma-to-be Sarah Palin assures us that her daughter and the baby's father intend to get married. Well, I'm relieved.

Seriously, thousands of young girls get pregnant without benefit of husbands every year and things work out just fine. One of my more cynical friends suggested that if McCain could secure the pregnant bride vote, he'd be a lock. The issue here isn't young Bristol and her baby. It's the self righteous, preachy, God is a Republican, Democrats are hedonists attitude of the GOP that causes a slight smirk when one of them trips over their hair shirt. Considering that Governor Palin is a supporter of "abstinence only" education in schools, one is tempted to ask, "How's that working out for you?"

Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian with a child, yet he welcomes support from demigods like James Dobson of Focus on the Family. If Ms. Palin's son Track (who the hell calls a kid "Track") turns up in a gay bar some night, will she be as understanding (read: hypocritical) as Vice President Cheney? Life is messy. The President's brother urninates on an airport wall (Carter). The President's brother has a cocane issue (Clinton). The President had substance abuse issues (Bush 43). The President's wife killed a man in a car accident (Bush 43). When you describe yourself and your political party as morally superior you find yourself spending a lot of time dodging camera crews shouting embarrassing questions at your retreating back. The time to yell "no comment" is before the incident.

Governor Palin actually has bigger problems than a daughter with an anticipated Christmas delivery. According to the Washington Post, Palin employed a lobbying firm to secure almost $27 million in federal money for the booming metropolis of Wasilla, Alaska, pop. 6,700. The fact that she is the former mayor of Wasilla is, no doubt, an unfortunate coincidence. Washington has been wasting money in Alaska for years with the bridge to nowhere just the most celebrated. However, when you are the running-mate of Mr. "no more earmarks, reduce wasteful federal spending", your skirts should be a little cleaner. It won't take a swift boat campaign to make Gov. Palin look a wee bit disingenuous.

All of this nonsense explains why isitjustme supports Democrats. Democrats don't pretend to be perfect. They set the bar pretty low. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Or, don't be so quick to condemn gay men unless you're prepared to explain your toe-tapping in a Minneapolis men's room. Sadly, there are still plenty of rogues who don't make the grade. Those currently taking a time out for their indiscretions include Eliot Spitzer and John Edwards. In fairness, Spitzer never aspired to the role of paragon of moral turpitude (probably just as well). Edwards' fall from grace is considerably steeper, in that he presented himself as a "family values" kind of guy. He probably should have been a little clearer on what values and whose family.

As always, the big winners in this week's information derby will be Jay Leno, David Letterman, Craig Ferguson, et al. Nothing makes better fodder for jokes than politicians stepping in a pile of their own hypocrisy. However all is not lost for the GOP. With any luck, hurricane Hanna will wipe out the back half of their convention. We may then be spared the vision of Mumbles McCain trying to find those pesky teleprompters. Dag nab it!

...or did John McCain actually chose a beauty queen for VP?

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It suddenly hit me! While watching Sarah Palin accept the nod from John McCain to be his vice presidential running mate, I realized who she reminds me of. She's the women in those R- rated movies with her conservative clothes, pinned-up hair and glasses. The very image of wholesome Americana. Halfway through the movie someone gives her a couple of mai tais and it's girls gone wild time. She's hopping up on the coffee table unbuttoning her blouse. The fact that she has five children lends some credence to this analogy. Seriously, let's wish Barbie all the success in the world.

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And let's also extend our congratulations to the Bush administration for attempting to do as much additional damage to the environment as possible. The White House has recently proposed allowing individual government agencies to assess how their programs would impact potential endangered species. In other words, the Department of Energy will decide, with no scientific oversight or review, the impact of its decisions on endangered species. Perfect! The very people who have shown themselves as the principal despoilers of the environment will get to decide the impact of their policies.

The Bush administration has cleverly used the clamor of the Democratic National Convention as cover for his final assault on the planet. You would think that this bum would make some attempt to improve his legacy, even if the policies were just window dressing. Guess not.
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Is anyone else out there sick of listening to John McCain and the Bush White House hurl empty threats at the Russians over their invasion of Georgia? Vladimir Putin must be laughing in his vodka over the United States' saber rattling and name calling. Just yesterday Putin was quoted as saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but we have more soldiers and tanks than you." Face it. The U.S. is overextended, distracted, under-manned and most of all, unwilling to even contemplate a land conflict in western Asia.

As for the Russians, they are hardly likely to take moral instruction from an American government that invaded, without provocation, another sovereign nation and who, unapologetically, endorses torture. We had better hope that the Russians don't have their eye on Poland. America might muster a barrage of harsh language but that's about it.


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Whichever god is receiving the prayers of the RNC , cut me off a slice. Can you imagine the good fortune of the Republicans, who have just learned that the twin plagues of Dick Cheney and George Bush will not be attending the convention in Minneapolis this week? John McCain must be dancing all the way to Minnesota.


The last thing that the new ticket needed was the walking /talking reminder of the catastrophe that was Bush/Cheney 2000 and 2004. That's like bringing Steve Bartman to a rally for the Cubs in '08. Seriously, the GOP organizers would have given GWB the wrong address and the wrong dates if they thought he would actually read them. Laura would have figured it out. Cheney would just follow the smell of burning flesh. Now if they could just figure a way to keep Mitt Romney from attending.



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Seriously!

John Edwards' affair with film producer Rielle Hunter absolutely wins the gold medal in the Synchronized Stupidity competition. The gall/moron quotient needed to attempt a run for national office with an elephantine skeleton in your closet is mind numbing. At least when Rudy Giuliani ran, we already knew he was a cross-dresser. He just hoped we wouldn't mind. The National Enquirer had the Edwards' story last year, for God's sake. How did John think he was going to keep the main stream media at bay? Heaven forbid if he had been nominated for President. Even John McCain could have beaten him. Hadn't he ever heard of Gary Hart? or Eliot Spitzer? or Bill "bulge-in-his-pants" Clinton?

Forget about his wife dying of cancer and his speeches about God and family, this is about a politician so full of hubris and self deluded invincibility that he imagined he could finesse anything.

...or is Barak Obama the political answer to Frank Sinatra?

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Yeah, he's that good.
I admit it. I'd rather be dazzled than informed. I can get information from the NY Times or The Wall Street Journal. I want my President to excite the country; to get people on their feet and cheering their heads off. I want the crowd to act like they do at their college football homecoming game (minus the exposed beer bellies). The President of the United States should make the populace feel good about themselves. Barak Obama can do it all. (OK, so could Adolph Hitler but you get my point.)

I have an abiding faith that politicians, even corrupt ones, have the country's best interest at heart. Even George W. Bush, misguided mope that he is, doesn't wish the country harm. We all know that, regardless of who wins, America will survive. What's missing in the Republicans is a spark. Will you vote for John McCain because you want to or because you feel you have to? Watergate aside, Nixon might have been a better President than Kennedy but which one would you rather follow?

It doesn't take a genius to be President; Ronald Reagan proved that. What it does take is the ability to inspire. Reagan proved that also. In an age when media personae is so vital, a President has to look like he knows where he's going. After 9/11 Bush's ratings soared. Why? Because he gave a speech that made him look Presidential (Who knew?). It was only after stumbling through the last seven years, when his public appearances were more reminiscent of Alfred E. Newman than FDR, that his numbers tumbled. Talking tough is not leadership. Trying to frighten America into voting for you isn't inspiring. By the way, how terrified must we have been to give GWB a second term?

So how about it America? Let's vote for someone we can be proud of. Let's prove to the world that we are more than belligerent, gay-hating, gun-slingers. In Beijing, we showed that we don't have to be ugly Americans. How about we make that a trend?

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In what can only be interpreted as a sign from God, the Republicans are considering delaying the start of their convention in Minneapolis due to the impending arrival of Hurricane Gustav on the Gulf Coast. It seems that the GOP would rather not kick off their big party when the top story on the web might very well be "New Orleans braces for Katrina Deux". Imagine that!

The Republicans are already stuck with Bush and Cheney as speakers. (Sort of like inviting your unpleasant ex-wife to your daughter's wedding. You may have to do it but you'd rather not.) They are concerned that a new hurricane in the Gulf will serve to remind voters about the Bush administration's nonexistent response to the last storm. Replayed film of the Superdome circa Aug, 2005 would do little to enhance the GOP's reputation as champions of the common man.

How come no one asked Harry Wittington to speak at the GOP convention? You remember Harry? He's the lawyer that Cheney shot in the face in Feb, 2006.

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John McCain has just named Sarah Palin, current governor of Alaska, to be his running mate. Brilliant! In an inspired stroke of genius, McCain has managed to find a ticket mate who is: a) younger than Obama, b) even less experienced than Obama, c) less educated than Obama and d) is from a state with fewer citizens than attended Obama's acceptance speech on Thursday. To be fair, Obama never finished second in the Miss Illinois Beauty Pageant.

note: Laura Bush was elected to inform her husband of McCain's choice. She was also required to inform him that Alaska is, in fact, a state.

...or are the Democrats still born to be mild?

Where's the rage, people? I have spent the last three nights listening to the best and the brightest Democrats in the land making speech after speech about how they support Barak Obama. This being the Democratic National Convention, one would expect that the speakers would support the candidate. After all, these conventions are scripted right down to the time allotted for applause. However, none of the featured presenters have ripped into George W. Bush and his heir apparent, John McCain. I haven't heard Abu Graib discussed once. Katrina, celebrating it's third anniversary this week, got a single mention. Karl Rove, once. Guantanamo, nada. The disgrace that is the Justice Dept., forget it!



What are the Democrats waiting for? They have been handed the greatest gift any political party has ever received. Eight years of the worst leadership since Caligula (and without the nifty sex). The Bush administration has provided Obama with villains who are not only purely evil; they even look purely evil. Why is no one roasting this administration from the dais? Why is no one setting Katie Curic's microphone on fire with condemnations of Donald Rumsfeld and David Addington? Even if it didn't help Barak Obama get elected (and it couldn't hurt) this is the Democrat's big opportunity to remind America what an abject failure George and the Republicans have been. The catharsis alone would be worth it.


Nobody is talking about anything. Has anyone heard the word immigration? I think not. The 12 million people in America illegally were the hottest topic in America just one year ago. Now it's on the third rail of the Democratic agenda along with Social Security.


How about global warming and the environment? Hands? Anyone? These topics are getting no traction because the Democratic poll takers have determined that either the solutions are too painful or the topic will put the public to sleep. The result is speech after speech about better education for American youth, tax aid for the middle class (whoever they are), reducing our dependence on foreign oil (no one says how), a stronger military (which no one wants to pay for) and a laundry list of high-minded emptiness that will be forgotten before the cheering subsides.



The Democrats have been told that, after the rack and ruin of the last eight years, this is their election to lose. The result is a "let's be careful not to offend anyone" rhetoric that basically says, vote for us because we're not George W. Bush. Democrats need to start offending some people. Everyone dances around John McCain's captivity as though he took on the entire North Vietnamese army by himself. Wouldn't want to offend those Vietnam Vets (like they're on the fence about Obama anyway). No one talks about race because we are all hoping that, enchanted by his speechifying, America may not notice that our candidate is a gentleman of color.



Sports analogies are trait but, in football, the fastest way to lose a game is to stop trying to win it and sit on a lead. If the Democrats and Barak Obama don't start talking about real issues, messy and complicated though they are, the people of Kansas and Colorado and Florida will go to the polls on Nov 4th with only one clear image in their heads...old, familiar white guy...young, untested black guy. If that happens, get use to hearing "Hillary in 2012".

...or is the RNC a little short on Republicans?

As the drama of the Democratic National Convention abates (hey, after the Clintons speak it's just one big balloon drop) all eyes will turn to Minneapolis. Senator McCain will presumably have chosen a running mate (think Dan Quayle without the warm smile). Republicans from all over America will gather around their Philco radios to hear the speeches that will reaffirm their core, Christian, neocon narrow-minded beliefs. From Monday to Thursday next week they will learn about the evil, liberal, junior Senator from godless Chicago. The word will go forth from the party leadership about how the country is on the verge of destruction at the hands of gays, abortionists and cut-and-run pacifists. The GOP has hand-picked a string of stalwart sons of conservatism to carry the torch of orthodoxy across the airwaves to the faithful.

Because the lead-off hitter sets the tone for the entire convention, the Republicans have selected, wait for it, an East-coast Jew...Joe Lieberman. That's right! The man that America would most likely want to have a glass of Mogan David with, will forgo his lifelong liberal stands on abortion and gay unions (he's in favor of both) for the shock value of standing with the Republican faithful. The single issue which binds Lieberman to McCain and possibly the rest of GOPdom is his support for the Iraq war. Apparently the RNC was able to overlook Joe's support for affirmative action, women's rights, the Clean Air Act of 1990 (he co-sponsored), no drilling in the ANWR and gun control. This is my kind of conservative.

Following Lieberman is everybody's favorite terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger. As the current Governor of California, Ahhnol brings his impressive neocon record to the podium. Details include an initiative to curb greenhouse gas emissions that was so extensive the White House got it squashed, a defense of marijuana use, and a stated admiration for Adolf Hitler. (Granted, that was a long time ago but so was McCain's incarceration.) Gov. Schwarzenegger will apparently lecture on the minimal dangers of sleeping with Democrats, should McCain choose Lieberman as his running mate.

Having absorbed about as much of this conservative orthodoxy as they can stand, listeners get a break as the comic relief takes center stage...Dick Cheney. As the man whose smile once made Hannibal Lecter give up liver, Cheney will be a welcome relief from the political ramblings of his predecessors. Cheney has no political position on anything. He only ran for vice president because he was taller than Karl Rove. He will speak about how, if you have no actual soul, anything is possible. The actual title of the speech is "How to be Number One While Disguised as a Giant Steaming Pile of Number Two".

The convention gets better after Monday night. Rudy Giuliani will lead off on Tuesday and he will be joined by Fred Thompson. The two non-nominated politicians will discourse on the fact that 90% of life may be just showing up, but it's no way to be nominated for President. Tom Ridge will follow with an explaination of how his department of Homeland Security came up with all those alert colors.

Cindy McCain will speak on Wednesday. Her remarks will include a clarification of that "how many houses do you own" thing. Most of them are hers, so she should know. This was an unfair criticism from the start. It's like asking Ferdinand Marcos how many pair of shoes his wife owned. (Had he been asked, his response would no- doubt include his incarceration at the hands of the Vietnamese).

It only gets better from there folks so, if you don't have TIVO, get ready to pop a blank tape in the old VCR. This promises to be better than your wedding video.

...or is a prison camp not the best training ground for a President?

Somebody has to say it so it might as well be me: getting shot down by the North Vietnamese and tossed into a prison camp for 5+ years may be an excellent qualification for a technical advisor on a Chuck Norris film but not to be President of the United States. Now, I feel much better.

There is a difference between admiration and credentials. It took balls for John McCain to refuse a pardon from the Vietnamese when they offered to let him out because he was the son of an Admiral. Unfortunately, if balls were (or was) the only criterion to be president, we would have elected Evel Knievel. The people at General Motors or IBM might admire Senator McCain but they aren't likely to ask him to take command of their companies. A man who has only recently made the acquaintance of the Internet is barely qualified to replace Michael Scott at Dunder Mifflin let alone take command of America. (Although we could replace the caliber of the current Chief Executive from any bowling alley in Mississippi).

This whole "Hogan's Heroes for President" issue wouldn't be as big a factor except that McCain and his posse drag his POW clothes out of the closet at every possible opportunity. They wave it like a flag in front of every gaffe that their candidate makes. McCain actually told Jay Leno on Monday that the reason he couldn't remember how many houses he owns is because, as a prisoner of war, he didn't own a house, or a table or a chair. How is that a response to the contention that, as the husband of a rich wife, he is out of touch with the people whose vote he's seeking? McCain is the August reincarnation of Rudy Giuliani's "a noun, a verb and 9/11".

McCain's time as a guest in the Hanoi Hilton can be effectively trotted out by the campaign to indignantly parry any attack on the candidate's character or courage. Unfortunately for them, the Democrats under Barak Obama aren't craven enough or dumb enough to denigrate McCain's service. They leave that bit of mud-slinging to the Republicans.

America has been nominating and electing military heroes since G. Washington. We have not, however, turned over the reins of government to a man whose primary contribution to the war effort was to be held captive. By continuing to trumpet his POW credentials as proof positive of his ability to lead, he invites his critics to ask, exactly what aspect of captivity provided the slightest training for a President in 2008? Have your staff get back to us.

...or is Joe Biden the last piece of the puzzle?

Unless you have been living under water with Michael Phelps for the last three days, you know that Barak Obama has chosen Delaware Senator Joe Biden as his Vice Presidential running mate. By all accounts, Biden represents an intelligent, thoughtful choice. Although Senator Biden will not bring a vital swing state into the blue column (think Kaine of Virginia or Sebelius in Kansas), the fact is, not since Lyndon Johnson has a VP delivered a state that the ticket could not otherwise expect to carry. However, to suggest that Senator Obama is merely following in the footsteps of the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. is a comparison without foundation.


Dick Cheney was a cantankerous, mean-spirited, agenda-driven, single-minded political hatchetman...and those are a few of his more endearing qualities. He was installed on GWB's ticket to add gravitas to a candidate who couldn't identify the location of most of the states that voted for him. The country was being assured that it was OK to vote for someone you wanted to have a beer with because Old Dick Cheney would be available to take the conn if anything terrible happened. Well it did and he wasn't.


It's true that, like Biden, Cheney wanted to run for the top job. It is also true that Cheney has such a poisonous public personae he wouldn't even vote for himself. Cheney brought more baggage to the White House than Paris Hilton brings to Vegas. As Secretary of Defense for Bush 41, he gutted the Defense budget and cultivated a reputation as an unpleasant autocrat. As VP he was determined to wage war with all of the countries he saw as a threat. He was not about to let the fact that he wasn't Commander-in-Chief stand in his way.


Biden, on the other hand, is considered the nicest guy in the Senate. Even the gang across the aisle likes him. As a long-serving member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Biden brings knowledge and experience to the ticket without all of the bile of the present VP. Think of him as the anti-Cheney. He has a style that encourages compromise. People want to work with him. This will be a welcome change from the "do it my way or I'll kill you...really, I'll kill you" method currently employed by the man who's only a heartbeat away from being President.

When all the foreign policy bluster is cleared away, the real problems in America are domestic. The Bush polarization policy virtually ensured that legislative gridlock would prevail, even when the Republicans controlled both houses. Joe Biden will be the perfect person to forge consensus and foster a sense of shared responsibility. He could hardly do any worse than his predecessor.

Obama needed a running mate with a little more ink on his resume and Joe Biden is the best man for the job. Who knows? He may even be able to keep the Clintons in line; and without a whip and a chair. That feat alone should win him a place in the hearts of Democrats.

...or are we all hoping that the Chinese confiscate Bela Karolyi's passport?

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Honestly! Forget the 12 million illegal Latinos in America. If there's anything that will make you rethink America's immigration policy it's the Karolyis. Bela and Marta have expended more gas in Beijing this week than any of China's factories. We were sick of this pair, nine Olympics ago. Yes folks, they've been around since Montreal in 1976. At least then they were the enemy. As coach of the Romanian team (Remember Nadia Comaneci?) Bela was the classic villain; the evil communist with the gymnastics factory.



Now, he and Marta work for the good guys. Since 1980 they have lived and worked in Houston...thankfully in relative obscurity. Still, every four years they emerge like cicadas to rail against anyone or anything that prevents their moppets from capturing the gold.

This time the complaint is that the Chinese gymnasts are too young. IOC regulations dictate that the girls must be at least 16 years old to compete. Most of the Chinese girls look about seven but westerners are poor judges of Asian ages. Anyway, passports and birth certificates are issued by the Chinese government so any chance of independent proof of age is difficult. Like racehorses, all the contestants appear to be the same age, 16. (At least the Chinese had the good grace to vary the dates of birth.) Anyway, both Bela and Marta are screaming that, absent a verification process, their should be no age limit. Good luck with that.



Sadly, it was not the age of the Chinese gymnasts that caused Alicia Sacramone to fall off the balance beam or miss the landing during the floor exercise. Stuff happens! After the competition, Ms. Sacramone took full responsibility for her mistakes. The Karolyis blamed everyone else. Perhaps next time, in London NBC should hire Ms. Sacramone as color commentator and send Bela back to Romania for a class class.





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...or are the Olympics getting in the way of the Brett Farve story?

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All those who would like Brett Farve to play his next football season on the moon, signify by raising your middle finger in the general direction of Kiln, Miss. Having been traded to the Jets from the Packers,at least he's still wearing a green four on his jersey. Whoopee!

This story has gotten more ink than Anna Nichole's baby. (Come to think of it, both issues involve big boobs.) Farve has been in and out of retirement more times than Henry Kissinger. Enough already! Go to New York and find out what it's like to cheered and booed in the same quarter. Jet fans haven't seen a decent team since Lyndon Johnson was in office. If Farve stumbles in New York he'll wish he'd taken up professional golf.

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It's nice to see that being a field-grade officer in the U.S. Armed Forces doesn't mean that you lose your gag reflex. The senior military men on the Tribunal in Guantanamo were sufficiently appalled by the evidence in the Salim Hamdan "trial" that, rather than sentence Mr. Hamdan to the thirty years demanded by the prosecution, they opted for 5 1/2 years. Considering that Mr. Hamdan has already served five years at Gitmo, he should be out by Ramadan. That is, of course, if the Bush Government doesn't make good on a threat to hold the prisoner anyway... just because.

Apparently the star chamber plan that George the Lessor concocted (with help from Senator John McCain) isn't working out the way he'd hoped. The case for extended incarceration of the Gitmo guests is so full of holes that even our career soldiers and sailors are laughing. One would presume that the case against Mr. Hamdan was the strongest and the one most likely to produce both a quick conviction and a severe sentence. Wrong again, Mr. President! In the future, should you see a group of Army Colonels and Navy Captains walking around holding their noses, you'll know what their current duty assignment is. They're on the Tribunal.

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Anyone who is still wringing their hands over Barak Obama's lack of experience in world affairs need only look at the current holder of the office for comfort. After eight years as Leader of the Free World, the tactics of GWB are as ham-handed, dull-witted and ill-conceived as the day he stumbled into the White House some 2765 days ago.

Having decided to attend the opening ceremonies of the twenty-ninth Olympiad in Beijing, Curious George is determined to insult the Chinese at every turn. George, if you're so disappointed with the way the Chinese deal with their own people and their suborning of genocide in Darfur, just stay the hell home. Nobody wants a scold at the Olympic party.


By the way, did you see George with the Olympic basketball team? He looked like Vern Troyer with bigger ears.

...or is George W. Bush actively pursuing a single-digit approval rating?

The Bush administration is happily strutting around the White House today, congratulating themselves on the successful prosecution of Salim Ahmed Hamdan. After six-plus years of illegally grabbing up foreign nationals (Mr. Hamdan is Yemeni) and locking them away in Guantamano Bay without formal charges, right of counsel, trial or even a phone call; there has finally been a conviction.


And who did we prosecute? Was is Mulah Omar, the head of the Taliban? How about Ayman al-Zawahiri, the number two man in al qaeda? Nope! The entire weight of the United States Armed Forces and the Federal Government was brought to bear on....Osama bin Laden's chauffeur. Kind of makes you proud, doesn't it?


But wait! As car hop to the head evil-doer, Mr. Hamdan must have been guilty of something else. After all, he was right there. Did bin Laden send him for coffee when he was planning all those terrorist plots? The U.S. government thought so. They charged Hamdan with conspiracy to commit al qaeda terrorist acts as well as the lesser charge of playing Cato to bin Laden's Green Hornet.


Alas, even when tried by a jury of hand-picked officers from the Pentagon, the court could only convict Hamdan on the chauffeuring charge. (Just for the record; Hamdan admitted to being bin Laden's driver all along.) One can only assume (assumption being necessary because the trials are held in secret) that the case against Mr. Hamdan was so weak that even the military would have gagged on a conviction. I guess even Army Colonels have to sleep nights.


Nonetheless, George & Co. consider this a complete vindication of the military commission structure. Their spin is that Mr. Hamdan's acquittal on the conspiracy charge is proof that justice is possible, even behind closed doors...with no jury... and secret testimony...and ...and no cross examinations and absent witnesses...and with virtually every participant wearing a military uniform. It remains unclear whether Mr. Hamdan was charged with any traffic-related offenses (failure to signal, parking too close to a hydrant,etc.).

The conviction of bin Laden's chauffeur has drawn interesting reactions from around the world. Former participants in the Nuremberg trials expressed dismay that they failed to prosecute Hitler's green grocer and seamstress. n.b. The Nurmemberg commission actually considered prosecuting Hitler's driver but decided that he was too small a fish. The world court at the Hague was concerned at having allowed Slobodan Milosevic's food taster to escape punishment. And, the Russian government is standing by their decision not to prosecute Stalin's butler and his daughter's tennis coach.

America can rest easier tonight. A dangerous driver is behind bars (where he's been anyway for at least four years). The man responsible for insuring that Osama bin Laden was transported from point A to point B is locked away. Sadly, we were not able to apprehend Mr. Hamdan while he was squiring his famous passenger around the hills of Tora Bora. Alas, we don't even have the car. At least that might have provided a clue as to where bin Laden is spending his nights. We might have snagged an old motel receipt or a discarded book of matches.

Former chief prosecutor-turned- critic Col. Morris Davis spoke volumes when he was quoted as saying if Mr. Hamdan "gets a hefty sentence, it's got to send cold chills down the spine of bin Laden's barber and dry cleaner." What can I say except God is Great!

...or are tire gauges a clear indication of which campaign is flat?

Let us all take a minute and bow our heads in memory of John McCain's Straight Talk Express. The vehicle that became a symbol of "no more politics as usual" has officially run into a ditch and been abandoned. The dents are too numerous to fix. The paint has peeled away, exposing cancerous rust. The engine, once a potent force, now coughs and sputters like the organ that pumps Dick Chenney's blood. (Why does calling it a "heart" seem so inappropriate?)



We knew the old girl was in trouble when her driver began supporting legislation and policies that he had opposed for most of his political career: tax reductions, drilling for oil in the ANWR, constitutional amendments on marriage, torture and his views on Jerry Falwell. Each of these changes in direction has inflicted serious damage to the steering capability of the bus. The net effect has been that, at this point, no one knows what course the Straight Talk Express is taking. One thing is clear, however; the vehicle has developed a pronounced lurch to the right.



Remember when the old bus was new? It was Feb, 2000 and there was John "Straight Talk" McCain holding court for a small army of reporters. John would go on for hours talking about how America was focused on the wrong issues. There were real enemies out there and we were electing presidential candidates based on prayer in schools and gay marriage. McCain even tackled tough issues like immagration. But, that was a simpler time. A time before the South Carolina primary when McCain realized that pandering to the neocon right was the only road to Pennsylvania Ave.



The STE has logged a lot of miles since 2000 and it's definitely showing its age. When McCain won the Republican nomination the bus appeared ready for one final tour. The candidate promised to discard the fear and smear politics that have become the road map to victory for the GOP. This campaign was to be run on the issues. No personal attacks or dirty tricks. No bumping the other guy when the judges weren't looking. Alas, it was not to be.



This week, McCain's opponent unveiled a modest plan for reducing America's addiction to gasoline. Among those measures was a reminder to drivers that they can reduce fuel consumption by keeping their tires inflated. Hardly a panacea but it had the virtue of being something that we could do today. Americans could shake off the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness by merely adding a few psi to their tires.



Rather than offer an alternative solution, Senator McCain immediately belittled the idea. "We will not reduce America's dependence on foreign oil by inflating our tires." Had this been 1943 one can hear McCain say, "We will not defeat Nazi Germany by saving fat in a can". Government experts estimate that we can reduce our oil consumption by about 3.3% using properly inflated tires. Why is that a bad idea?



The driver of the STE immediately ran to a novelty shop and began producing tire gauges with "Obama Energy Policy" printed on them. You can own one for a $25 contribution to John McCain. Does this sound like a campaign "run on the issues"? After eight years in office, is this the best the Republicans can do? After they have: run the economy into the ground, destroyed American prestige overseas, started an illegal, unjustifiable war, gutted the EPA and Interior and perverted the Justice Department, throwing spit balls at the other guy looks like a good plan. I guess when your current President has a lower approval rating than Eddie Murphy's latest movie, mockery is about all that's left.



It's actually rather sad. John McCain really sold himself as something different. He was going to make us forget Rove, Chenney, Rumsfeld, Addington, Gonzales, Goodling and all of the rest of the Bush brigade. Standing in the middle of a sewer, he was the man with the golden plunger. But that was then and this is now. The Straight Talk Express is a wreck now; left on the side of the political road along with McCain's principals and his convictions. If there is a moral to the story it's this...don't let Monica Goodling interview your next bus driver.

...if at first you don't succeed, you shouldn't try skydiving?

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Everyone who was surprised to learn that the Bush White House was playing politics with the Justice Department, please raise your hand. Anybody? OK! Anyone who would be astounded to learn that the Bush White House wasn't playing politics with Justice and every other arm of government, every bureau, department and committee, please raise your hands. That's better!



Monica Goodling, the vetting flunkie who screened applicants for jobs at Justice based on whether their nickers were blue or red, may lose her license to practice law. This represents a small loss considering her degree is from Regent University Law School (Motto: "Legally speaking, what would Jesus do?") Ms. Goodling may be the second Monica to polish something for the President but she is hardly the only sinner in this congregation. If someone doesn't haul Alberto Gonzales in front of a grand jury to explain how he perverted the Justice Department to curry favor with Karl Rove, then there is no God. (No offense, Ms. Goodling) .



To an American populace whose principal obsession is a new season of Wife Swap and Dancing with the Stars, none of this will make much of an impression. Stacking the Justice Department with God-fearing, right-thinking neocons will appear to be business-as-usual in government. Besides, what's wrong with lawyers of faith? Answer: Nothing, if they are also qualified attorneys. Evaluating applicants by checking pant legs for signs of excessive kneeling, (if not always praying), is not considered the best way to insure competent hiring.

Sadly, the selection process at Justice, aka "Law and Order - Political Intent", valued conservative credentials over professional ones. In other words, we don't much care where (or if) you went to Law School (those places are full of liberals anyway). We only care that you believe that George W. Bush is God and Karl Rove is his prophet. How would it be if the Army used this process to promote generals? Hey, do you think the President lets the Air Force pick pilots for Air Force One based on whether they contributed to Greenpeace?


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You probably didn't need to be reminded of the sorry state of "the best country in the world" but, as an indication of who we are, attend the case of Patrica and Milton Harper of Lake City, GA.

The Harper family was one of those incredibly lucky folks that received a brand new McMansion courtesy of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. For those of you who crave a more intellectual fare, say, Sponge Bob Square Pants; Extreme Makeover rebuilds "deserving" people's homes while they are away on a lovely vacation. The entire project is completed in seven days (kind of Biblical, ain't it?) including commercials. In the case of the Harpers, the house was a starter castle complete with turrets.

When the Harper clan returned from Disney World they were handed the keys to their villa along with enough cash to pay the taxes for 25 years. If you imagine that the Harpers proceeded to live happily ever after, you've been watching too much Sponge Bob.

Before the TV trucks were out of the driveway, the grateful Harpers were hot-footing it to the bank using the house to leverage a $455,000 loan to finance a construction business. Naturally, the venture folded and the house is now in foreclosure. I love this country!

These are the very sort of people that the Congress proposes to bail out of their mortgages. The same folks who shake their heads at welfare mothers and opine on how Americans don't take responsibility for their actions. They profess to be conservatives, demanding lower taxes and government off their backs; except, of course, when the government program will benefit them.

Recent polls reflect that 80% of Americans feel that the country is headed in the wrong direction. Blaming a spongehead like George W. Bush is too easy. "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars but in ourselves."

...or is Swift boating the only tactic Republicans have?

So we finally get to it. "Straight talk John McCain" is driving his bus straight for the gutter. McCain is showing the American people that high-road politics only works when it's working. The first time that your poll numbers begin to slip, the gloves come off and we move to character assassination. Forget about the issues that McCain swore would be the core of his campaign. Forget about policies and programs. Let's go right for the groin kick.

We expected better from McCain. After the dirty, disgraceful campaign that the Bushmen threw at McCain in 2000 in South Carolina you would have thought that he might have declined to follow suit. We should have known better. With a model like Karl Rove as Yoda (looks and all) the temptation to rabbit punch was just too great. With an innuendo worthy of Fox News, the McCain camp has shown how it really plans to capture the White House.

A new McCain TV ad states that Obama skipped a visit with wounded troops because the Pentagon wouldn't let him bring in the cameras. This is on top of the crack that Obama would gladly lose a war to win an election. Welcome to "McCain Unmasked".

One can hardly blame a politican as weak and oblivious as McCain from trying virtually any tactic to get someone, anyone, to listen to him. His stump speeches are a blessing for insomniacs. His smile makes him look like Clutch Cargo. His voting record is so fractured that one wonders if he believes in anything. (That includes support for the troops. He opposed the latest GI Bill.) He has supported every piece-of-crap legislation that GWB sponsored and yet he can barely bring himself to speak his name. He has straddled so many issues that his campaign is giving wide-stance lessons to Larry Craig. (ba-dum-bum!)

The primary trait that McCain shares with George the Lessor is that neither one of them can get anyone in the press to cover them. Not just because the media is afflicted with Obama-mania. The reason that NBC, ABC, CBS, and everyone else with a microphone is following Obama is because he's news. He's interesting. Covering Bush and McCain is like committing television suicide. It's like C-SPAN without the pithy dialogue. Who wants to watch some geezer in a Navy baseball hat give a boring speech? I'd rather watch Abraham Simpson (Homer's father) sleep in front of a TV.

Do not expect the Obama people to respond in kind. They didn't do it with Hillary and it's doubtful they will do it with McCain. You won't see a TV ad about McCain's misspent youth (he spent several years attempting to set the indoor drinking record) or his overlapping marriages. You won't hear about his involvement with Charles Keating (McCain accepted more money from Keating than any of the others.) The Obama campaign will continue to paint John McCain as a war hero (I guess getting shot down and captured makes you a hero simply out of touch with the 21st century). Actually, McCain's ignorance of technology puts him out of touch with the latter half of the 20th century also.

When the campaign began to take shape in the late spring, it had all the earmarks of a classy contest with the Marquess of Queensbury rules to be observed at all times. Alas, it was not to be! Although McCain is only trailing by a few points he has already begun eye-gouging and biting. The sad part is that, even with the character assassination and nasty rhetoric, McCain is still the single most boring hack since Cal Coolidge. Maybe John should try a headdress?

...or do we all just want to take a nap and wake up on Jan 21st?

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In a move that should surprise no one, the Environmental Protection Agency has devalued human life. The statistical value placed on a generic human life by the EPA and several other agencies, is used to determined whether a particular program can be cost-justified. The old figure was $8.04 million for each John or Jane Doe. The Bush EPA, in a move clearly designed to halt the rising cost of everything, has lowered your worth to $7.22 million. Frankly, I'm gratified it's still that high.

Considering the cavalier way in which this administration has: wasted human resources (4,000 dead in Iraq), slept through the suffering of Katrina (Is anyone still living in those trailers?), squandered natural resources(drilling is the answer to everything), ignored the warnings on climate change (no, it shouldn't be voluntary!) we already have a pretty clear picture of Little George's view on the value of humans.

This then is the ultimate symbolic gesture of what your government thinks of you. Your needs have been ignored, your safely neglected, your concerns discounted and now, your value reduced. The patterns of this administration could hardly have led anywhere else.

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The number of Mexican-born immigrants who have become U.S. citizens grew from 84,000 in 2006 to 122,000 in '07. Apparently, these people have determined that the only way to get rid of the Bush crowd is to become citizens and throw them out. You know your administration is a failure when even the immigrants want you replaced.

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Anyone who has the slightest interest in seeing Barak Obama win the White House in November should stop interviewing Jesse Jackson, now. The man has "Bill Clinton-itis". Every time he speaks, he distracts the Obama campaign who must immediately explain "What the Rev. Jackson meant was..."

Jesse, if you want to help elect the first black American to become the leader of the free world, become a mime. Resist the temptation to attach your name to this campaign. I promise that if Obama is elected, he will make you ambassador to Jamaica, or the Vatican, or someplace.

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Who needs Amy Winehouse? Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood, 61, has reportedly abandoned his wife of 23 years and barricaded himself in his Irish home with an 18 year old Russian cocktail waitress. Any additional facts would be superfluous. Long live rock n' roll!

By the way, has anyone out there over 40 ever heard Amy Winehouse actually sing anything? (members of various correctional facilities excepted.)

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Will someone please explain the fuss being made over the acquisition of Anheuser-Busch by ImBev of Belgium? Budweiser was urine before the takeover and it's a safe bet the new owners won't alter the formula of a beverage that's so popular with Americans. The company that gives the world Stella Artois and Becks will now be responsible for Busch and Bud Light Lime. This is the equivalent of Morton's Steak House gobbling up The Sizzler. Rumors abound regarding potential new brands including: Dreck, Dreck Select, Dreck Dark, Dreck Light, Dreck Dry, and Dreck Guava. All these premium brands will be available at WalMart.

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...was Peggy Lee refering to reality TV when she sang, "Is that all there is"?

I really hate reality TV. It would be a wonderful thing if "Big Brother", "The Bachelor", "The Bachelorette", "Extreme Makeover", "Hell's Kitchen", "America's Next Top Model" and all the rest of this dreck donated their air time to National Geographic or The Weather Channel or C-SPAN reruns.



It's still only June, so the prospect of an actual scripted show appearing anywhere on the major networks (thank God for TNT) is alarmingly limited. NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox will be content with filling their prime time slots with re-reruns (the same shows that ran endlessly during the writer's strike) and a steady stream of reality. It's enough to make you go get some exercise. Well, maybe not!

The impetus for this particular rant was the bill of fare available last night, Wednesday, June 25th. Your choices include: "Celebrity Circus", "So You Think You Can Dance" (two hours), "Wife Swap", "Supernanny", "Farmer Wants A Wife "and the most egregious of all, "Baby Borrowers". Holy Walmart, Batman! I realize that "Law & Order" and "Criminal Minds" aren't Macbeth but at least they have actors and a plot. The plot of Wife Swap appears to include abusive language, the police and possible restraining orders.



At least the recent spate of revived game shows has the potential to be engaging. Audiences who remember the original "Password" and "Price is Right" will presumably be entertained by the updated versions. Good old "Jeopardy" has yet to crack prime time but I suspect that today's TV viewer would rather watch Howie Mandel attempt to calm a hyperventilating housewife than attempt to answer a question requiring actual knowledge. (I liked Howie better on "St. Elsewhere".)

As difficult as this is to admit, shows like "Nashville Star" and "So You Think You Can Dance" occasionally expose someone with a modicum of talent. Gleeful network execs have discovered that, with a few B-list celebs and one or two gifted amateurs, you can fill an entire hour. Take that, Jerry Bruckheimer! Even the mean-spirited Simon Cowell occasionally stumbles across a decent singer . I just don't want to watch him do it.

Particular derision is reserved for a new show called "Baby Borrowers". Due to the dubious success of "Wife Swap", the masterminds at NBC have presented their viewers with a show involving handing children in various stages of life to five teenage couples. As to who would be crazy enough to volunteer their baby to be exploited in this video lab experiment, ask NBC. The moguls at National Broadcasting must not have noticed the child abuse and exploitation issues which arose at CBS over last year's disaster, "Kid Nation". Anyway, I guess that the fun is derived in watching young couples cope with the problems of parenthood. If "Baby Borrowers" fails as a prime time show, NBC can always re-market the product as a cautionary tale for the use of condoms.

Television is a totally democratic medium. If you don't like something, watch something else. If enough people do that, shows get cancelled. Remember "Clash of the Choirs"? How about "Viva Laughlin"? Neither does anyone else.



Tragically, the reverse is also true. Keep that in mind when you tune in to the last fifteen minutes of "America's Got Talent". You just might be encouraging some network wonk to dream up a show like, "America's Got Taste?" or "America's Shrinking IQ".

...or am I so short that the fast ones go right over my head?

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In the world of chutzpa there are amateurs and professionals. Larry Craig, the wide-stance senator from Idaho, is a amateur. His decision to keep his seat (that would be his Senate seat, not the one in the Minneapolis men's room) was nervy but hardly noteworthy.

Congressman William Jefferson of Louisiana, on the other hand, is pure professional. You may remember the honorable representative from New Orleans as the legislator who owned a $70,000 Fridge, all in cash. Congressman Jefferson isn't about to let a trifling item like a sixteen count federal corruption indictment interrupt his glittering career as a legislator. Dollar Bill has announced that he will be running for his tenth term as the representative of Louisiana's second district. Considering the likes of Huey Long, David Dukes, David Vetter and Edwin "Fast Eddie" Edwards, it's nice to see that tradition still matters even if it's a tradition of corruption. And you thought all the backed-up sewage in New Orleans had been cleared.


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Ashcroft redux.


A Romanian village re-elected Mayor Neculai Ivascu to a new term in spite of the fact that he died shortly before the election. Villagers expressed a reluctance to change. It is now possible to speculate that Kansas is secretly populated with Romanians.



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Our friends at the Vatican have decided to forbid any filming for the prequel to the Di Vinci Code on any Church property in Rome. Apparently the mere mention of Dan Brown is enough to send the Holy See running for their rosary beads. The RCC clearly doesn't appreciate Brown's rather novel interpretation of Church doctrine. I'll bet those spoil-sports would have blocked "The Bells of Saint Mary" and don't even get them started about "Angels in the Outfield".




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And on the subject of religion, Hindus are concerned that Mike Meyers' new movie "The Love Guru" demeans their culture. They must hate Apu on the Simpsons. Fear not, gentle people. This film is so bad even the detainees at Guantanamo won't watch it and they like to laugh at Hindus.




Thankfully, unlike Muslims, Hindus do not feel the need to execute everyone associated with the production of films that offend them. There has, however, been a fatwa posted against Mike Meyers by the producers of Pluto Nash who are upset at losing their bragging rights to the title "worst movie ever made".



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The Republican Party is so desperate to find some flaw in the character of Barak Obama they are trying to make an issue of campaign financing. The details of this canard would put Fred Thompson to sleep but then, so does everything else. The McCain people continue to hammer away with phrases like, "broke his promise", "went back on his word" and the dreaded "flip-flop". (Is there any chance we could get a moratorium on flip-flop for Campaign 2008?)

McCain is frosted because Obama is killing him in the money-raising dept. America has already started voting with their checkbooks. Sadly for McCain, usual fat-cat Republican industrialists, having created sow's ear politicians like George W. Bush, are a bit chilled by McCain's cantankerous views. So the McCain people are screaming because Sen. Obama is paying for his campaign without taxpayer money. Good luck gaining any traction with that.

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The Inspector General' s office of the Justice Department has issued a report which confirms what everyone in Washington already knows. During the time that Alberto Gonzales was Attorney General and while Karl Rove and Harriet Meyers were still a Rasputin-like force in the White House, the hiring process at Justice was co-opted by conservative ideologues. There sole charge was to recommend only "vetted" candidates whose political and social beliefs were in lock step with the Bush Administration.


Although Rove has his pudgy fingerprints all over this bit of cynicism, the practitioners were the minions on the steering committee. Singled out for special scorn was one Esther Slater McDonald. As a graduate of Pensacola Christian College and Notre Dame Law (I guess Liberty College was full up) her role was to identify and tag any candidate who showed signs of "wrong thinking" . That included a Stanford grad who had written a law review article on discrimination in the military and a Harvard alum who had worked as a paralegal at Planned Parenthood.

In case you're thinking that this is just a perk of the incumbent party and that "everybody does it", forget that.

Prior to 2002 jobs at Justice for the honors and intern programs were awarded based on merit. The process only became truly perverted during the Bush years, particularly in 2006 under Gonzales. The situation became so polluted that even senior Bush appointees were holding their noses.



George the Lesser has a lot to answer for but, allowing entire departments of government like Interior, Environmental Protection and, Justice to be corrupted by scum like Rove, Meyers, Gail Norton, and Gonzales is neglect bordering on the criminal. Nixon may have been a crook but he was never guilty of this level of incompetence.

...or did I hear the Supremes singing "Stop in the Name of Love"?

Ah, The Supremes! You gotta love 'em. They may be a little long in the tooth but the harmonies are still there.

Last week we heard the quintet of Ruth, Anthony, John Paul, David and Steven deliver the sweetest sound we have heard since the last time the Liberty Bell was struck. I'm speaking, of course, of the Supreme Court decision in Boumediene vs. Bush which hopefully, results in the closing of the Guantanamo Gulag forever.
By establishing that a detainee can challenge in federal court the government's right to incarcerate him, the Supreme Court has forced the Bush administration to offer some proof that the people in jail in Cuba are guilty of something.

Naturally, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, Scalia, Thomas (aka "Lil Antonin"), Roberts and Alito voted for the administration. Why not? Having put George the Lesser in power, they may as well back his play.

The fascinating aspect of the dissent was that there was virtually no mention of the law. Scalia bloviated about the body count that will result if the 275 or so prisoners in Gitmo are turned loose by the federal court system. At no time did we hear his famous rant about original intent. That's probably because the right to habeas corpus was critical to the Founding Fathers. A person's right to argue the reasons for his imprisonment is black letter law. Since when is Scalia a proponent of situational interpretation? I can understand Judge Antonin's concern. Having locked these people up and tortured them for six years, I'm not sure I want them loose either. They're probably a little steamed having missed six Super Bowls and the entire run of Dancing With the Stars.

Scalia's dissent presupposes several troubling issues. Is the most powerful country in the world really afraid of 275 guys? They must be pretty scary. Also, is the government's case against these folks so weak that federal judges around the country would laugh the prosecutors out of court? If there is no evidence to support even one conviction, why are they in jail?

The Administration's two-step regarding the prisoners at Guantanamo would take first prize at any Motown dance contest. They are enemy combatants but not entitled to the protection of the Geneva Conventions because they don't wear uniforms nor belong to an organized army. Holding them in an offshore prison sidestepped the need to address habeas corpus. That was, until the Court stepped in.

The decision handed down last week is the third smack in the back of the head that the Court has inflicted on the Bush cabal since we started scooping up the world's citizens and renditioning them to hostile hostels around the world. The Court has repeatedly taken Lil George to the woodshed because he is apparently too dense to grasp the notion that 9-11 was not a blank check to torture, incarcerate and eliminate anyone with a dark complexion and a Middle Eastern accent.

We all know why Americans are oblivious to the treatment of Guantanamo's prisoners. If they were Irishmen or Frenchmen, if their skin was lighter or, if they were Christians, none of this would be happening. We should be ashamed. National Security is a perfectly good reason to deny a plane ticket to a shady character. Flying is not a constitutional right. We do not however, have the right to imprison Muslims who attend an anti -American mosque in Munich or run a printing press in Yemen that produces pro-Iranian pamphlets.

George Bush and John McCain are fond of regurgitating the fallacy that "if we withdraw, the terrorists win". Wake up, boys! If we continue to shred the Constitution for the sake of a vague notion of National Security, the terrorists have already won. If we persist in riding roughshod over the world because we think that 3,000 dead Americans in lower Manhattan gives us the right, the terrorists have already won. If America forgets that our strength comes from compassion and tolerance not from the point of a lance, the terrorists have already won. If four hijacked airplanes is all it takes to drive us into the arms of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, we may already be lost.

The upcoming election will be a referendum on American courage. Are we brave enough to defend the Constitution when it most needs defending or will we hide behind misguided leaders who "know what's best". Wake me on Nov 5th.

... or is experience only important when you have it?

Barak Obama is the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. This fact is not in dispute. The task of the Obama campaign will be to convince the country to take a chance on a man whose resume is, admittedly, somewhat thin.

Much will be written in the coming months about the value of "experience". Since the election of Franklin Roosevelt, (there are no written records before 1932) America has elected four Senators, five governors, one VP and one general. Jerry Ford was a House Member but not elected. Nixon and Truman were Senators but also VP's.

No discernible pattern has emerged thus far. Among the governors, we appear to be three and two. Roosevelt, Clinton and Reagan get good grades; Carter and GW Bush, not so much. Our Senatorial Presidents are a bit tougher to evaluate. Kennedy died too early and Johnson cannot get past Vietnam. Truman gets the highest marks and Nixon, if you include him, the lowest. (Ike did pretty well but, unless General Petraeus plans a last minute bid, Eisenhower's success is irrelevant to this discord.) George H.W. Bush (hereafter referred to as B-41) is looking better all the time.

What all this proves is...well...not much. B-41 had a dump truck full of experience at every level of government and it didn't get him a second term. It's unfair to reduce four years as president to "no new taxes". Jack Kennedy had almost no experience and yet he appears to have acquitted himself admirably considering the challenges of his time.

Is a career in the Senate of more value to a president than a term or two as the governor of, say, California? Has John McCain accumulated a vast storehouse of valuable knowledge in Washington or just a lot of lobbyist baggage? Is Barak Obama better for having served only a short time in the Senate before deal-making and compromising corrupted his soul? Who can say?

What is clear is that Obama is a man perfect for his time. After eight years of the most cynical, oppressive, mean-spirited, secretive, underhanded (I'm almost done) incompetent, joyless, deceitful government we have seen since Nixon, we are ready for something, anything, else. Ronald Reagan succeeded by reminding America that, in spite of American hostages in Iran and the gas crisis, this was still a great country. When you listen to Obama you get the same sense of hope and promise.

We have spent the last 6 1/2 years being afraid. The current administration has used and amplified that fear to justify a string of questionable and, in some cases, illegal acts. All that is required to sidestep the Constitution is to begin your speech with the hobgoblins of al qaeda, terrorists and evildoers (possibly the stupidest word ever uttered by a president).

America needs something else. Being afraid all the time is tiring; just ask the Israelis. We already know that we are a great country. We don't need lapel pins to remind us. However, what makes us great is us; not our army, not our arrogance, not even our history. American greatness is writ small, in the thousands and thousands of acts of charity and good fellowship that happen every day. Our capacity to love, tolerate and understand will endure long after the Iraq War ends and the towers are rebuilt.

Barak Obama looks like something else: a way forward. The rest doesn't matter. Eisenhower knew nothing about domestic issues. He learned. George W. Bush bought a map so he could see all those other countries out there.
Don't kid yourself. No one is ready to be President on day one; although B-41 was pretty close. Obama will learn like every president learns. It's how well and how fast that will determine the success or failure of his time in office.

...or does "supporting the troops" mean "supporting the troops"?

Let me see if I have this correct...the history of the Bush administration with regard to Americans in uniform over the past six years reads as follows:



George W. Bush sent an undermanned force (even John McCain said so) into Iraq without any understanding of what they would encounter on the ground. There was no intelligence estimate as to how the population of the country would respond and no thought given to how to govern a broken society. ("They will treat us as liberators" is not a policy nor a plan).



The soldiers were, and still are, improperly equipped to meet the challenges they face. Troops were scavenging metal plates to arm the floors of their vehicles. Parents were holding raffles to send proper flak vests to sons and daughters. No attempt was made to rush equipment into the field.



Troops living in places like Fort Bragg were subjected to barracks conditions that would cause migrant workers in California to head for the border.



If they were wounded, the medical care provided at such famed institutions as Walter Reed Hospital could only be described as deplorable.



Should they suffer from PTSD (presumably the Patton-esque vice president equates this with malingering) they are sent to a new facility at Ft. Benning. Unfortunately the quarters for these recovering personnel are 200 yards from a firing range. You can't make this stuff up. Exactly who decided that the best environment for shell-shocked troops was a live fire zone?



If by some miracle they manage to survive this "Born on the Forth of July" nightmare they can attend any state university on scholarship. That bit of largess comes courtesy of the U.S. Congress, having recently overridden a Bush veto of the new GI Bill. It seems that President "Vietnam No-show" decided that if service people could go to college after only a three year hitch they might not sign up for more of that first class treatment the Army provides. By the way, John McCain, the uber-sailor, agrees.



By any measure, the Bush administration's tone-deaf incompetence and indifference to the conditions faced by American servicemen and women border on the criminal. Face it, Kansas; this President doesn't give a good god damn about your sons and daughters fighting his war and none of you are holding him accountable. When a Pat Tillman or a Jessica Lynch provides a Kodak moment or an opportunity for a propaganda campaign we all don our flag lapel pins and join in the singing of God Bless America. When the bunting comes down it's the soldiers who are left to sweep up the confetti. But, hell, they volunteered, didn't they?