How's that working out for ya...Vol II
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The first man ever to run for office, Og the cave man, campaigned on his discovery of fire; until his opponent pointed out that fire had been around long before Og. Og was soundly defeated. (Actual vote 8 to 4.).Exit polls revealed that none of the other cave men could believe that a politician could possible take credit for something that was so easily disproved. Fast forward to today.
Richard Blumenthal, Democratic Attorney General of Connecticut, is seeking the Senate seat about to be vacated by Chris Dodd. Because Blumenthal's chief rival is Linda McMahon, former president of World Wrestling Entertainment (possibly the perfect prep for politics) he was something of a lock. Ah, but that pesky New York Times, bastion of Liberal/Democratic thought, took a look at Atty. Gen. Blumenthal's military service record. It seems that Richard has been campaigning as a Vietnam veteran. Actually, Blumenthal's primary exposure to Southeast Asia was watching Apocalypse Now and Good Morning Vietnam. (In his defense, he saw each film more than once.) Having served in the Marine Corp. Reserve for six years, the closest he ever got to combat was the traffic on the Beltway and repelling the kiddies during Toys For Tots. The "General" in "Attorney General" doesn't make you George Patton.
America doesn't so much care if you served but we take a dim view of anyone who takes credit for service not performed. Even the wrestling lady can beat a creampuff.
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A British court has ruled that a law prohibiting men from wearing pants that expose their knickers is a violation of human rights. One might expect the law requiring baseball caps to be warn peak forward will meet the same fate. (No, there is no such law!) Face it! Teenagers spend countless hours in pursuit of fashion statements that will: a) look completely ridiculous, and b) annoy the bejeebers out of adults. Green hair, piercings, untied sneakers, spiked hair all send older people into fits of despair. Hello! Why do you think they do it? Go home, turn on Dancing With the Stars, take a Lunesta and get over it.
Note: It's not too late to add a mandatory dress code to the Republican Campaign Platform in Maine.
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On the subject of "banning" stuff, Florida was unable to pass a law prohibiting bestiality. You would have thought Florida could have passed a law banning sex entirely. It's not like anyone down there is young enough anyway. Opposition to the law came primarily from a Mr. Ewe Woolrich, President of Barnyard Love Evolves from Ethical Treatment or BLEET. As a compromise, no one in Florida is permitted to do it doggie-style.
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More banning. Kure Beach, North Carolina has banned vacationers from wearing thong bathing suits. "We weren't so much interested in restraining young American women as we were German men." said Mayor Dean Lambeth. "No one wants to see Fritz parading around wearing a marble sack."
The actual quote was "We're going to keep this as close to Mayberry with a beach as you can keep it." That's a good thing. No one wants to see Aunt Bea in a thong.
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An Australian cookbook publisher destroyed 7,000 copies of a recently printed book of recipes. It seems that the ingredents for one of the suggested concoctions included "salt and freshly ground black people". The destruction of the books was ordered when a possible sale to the National Tea Party Convention fell through. The Baggers were preparing to use the books as a premium item during Sarah Palin's keynote speech.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
...or is Rebuplicans the kwazist people?
The next time you're really bored, as in "I think I'll watch a rerun of George W. Bush's second inaugural speech" bored, take a stroll through the Republican Campaign Platform for the state of Maine. ( http://www.mainegop.com/PlatformMission.aspx )Maine doesn't make the news too much. Aside from Bush Sr.'s summer home in Kennebunkport, the Clay-Liston fight in 1964 and the recent prominence of Senator Olympia Snowe (Am I the only one who thinks Olympia Snowe looks like Ichabod Crane's kid sister?) Maine has remained a quiet bastion of Yankee moderation. There is, however, a quixotic nature to these cold weather nor-Easters. In 2006 the Green Party won 9% of the vote in the gubernatorial election. Sadly, most Americans would barely shed a tear if the entire state were traded to Quebec for season tickets to the Canadians.
What we didn't know was that under all that moderation is a state mad as hell and unwilling to take it anymore. Seriously, according to Republicans, Maine is so angry they are prepared to join with their states-rights compatriots in the South. We should have seen this coming. Ross Perot (remember him?) did better in Maine than any other state. Mainiacs, or whatever they call themselves, are apparently headed for the barricades of what they see as an insidious, over-reaching, liberal government. The list of grievances in the GOP platform would make you think that the Pine State had been relocated to central China or Myanmar.
The platform owes much of its rhetoric to the founding fathers. In fact if the estates of Jefferson or Madison were thinking of suing for copyright infringement, they would have a reasonably strong case. Phrases like "In the course of a nation's history..." and "we the people" might cause readers to wonder where they might have heard those words before. The good news for Republicans is that, given their ages, there's an even chance their members were around when the words were first written.
Maine is apparently besieged on all sides by the sinister forces of "one world Government" and opponents of "Austrian Economics" (For an explanation of Austrian Economics see http://mises.org/etexts/austrian.asp I'm not doing your homework for you!) There are firmly stated objections to several United Nations agencies, global treaties and any agreement that surrenders the sovereignty of America. Wow! Who would have guessed the Laws of the Sea Treaty and the Treaty on the Rights of the Child could stir the blood of the good people of Maine?
Domestically, the threats come in bunches. The Maine GOP is opposed to any attempt to restrict a citizen's right to own a gun. Mainers feel so strongly about this, it's mentioned twice. (Never mind that no attempt has been made by the administration or anyone else to confiscate so much as a single firearm and that every court decision in the recent past has supported the senseless and unnecessary ownership of guns. I guess you can never be too careful.) Maine's Republicans are also opposed to motor-voter laws, political correctness (Mainers like to call a spade a spade), amnesty ("ever") for illegals and (this is a new one!) any attempt to allow foreigners to vote. Man, there is some insidious s--t going on in Maine.
There are a string of anti-incumbent/term limit provisions along with a serious wish list of stuff elected officials can and can't do. These folks not only hate their elected officials they hate the people they haven't elected yet. There is actually a "read the bill" clause for congresspeople. No one mentions if there will be a test. Naturally, no gay marriage, no abortion, no bail-outs and no cap and trade (The document actually refers to the "global warming myth".) Yeses include: prayer in schools, zero based budgeting, and parental corporal punishment for children.
In an interesting nod to Ron Paul, patron saint of the Libertarian Right, Maine seeks to eliminate the Federal Reserve. All those who think the average Maine farmer has the slightest idea of the role of the Fed, signify by saying Yeah, right!
Maine's Republicans are particularly unhappy with the healthcare bill and the penalties for being uninsured. Taxes for Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare as well as federal income taxes don't seem to bother Mainers much but,healthcare has them pulling down Old Betsy from over the fireplace. "Healthcare is not a right. It's a service. Clearly the authors of this platform missed the "inalienable rights" of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" in their plagiaristic meandering.
How can a society that has been given so much be so unfeeling regarding the simplest effort to care for others?People who donate kidneys to strangers will leave the hospital to protest the concept of medical for all.
Maine's Republicans are right about one thing: we are under attack. We are under attack by people who see compassion as weakness. We are besieged by a relatively small but vocal group of scared, old people who want simple answers and Glenn Beck solutions. The complexion of America is changing. Securing the border (even if it were possible) won't change that. We have enemies; people who mean us harm. Shredding the Constitution will not stop attacks like Times Square and we need to stop acting and talking like it will. Wailing about your right to own a gun ignores the fact that too many people own guns and too many people die because of it. We need to stop hunting for ghosts under the mattress and stop listening to politicians who pander to our
basest fears. We're a big, strong country. We can tolerate a little chaos. What we can't tolerate is a return to Austrian Economics...whatever that is.
What we didn't know was that under all that moderation is a state mad as hell and unwilling to take it anymore. Seriously, according to Republicans, Maine is so angry they are prepared to join with their states-rights compatriots in the South. We should have seen this coming. Ross Perot (remember him?) did better in Maine than any other state. Mainiacs, or whatever they call themselves, are apparently headed for the barricades of what they see as an insidious, over-reaching, liberal government. The list of grievances in the GOP platform would make you think that the Pine State had been relocated to central China or Myanmar.
The platform owes much of its rhetoric to the founding fathers. In fact if the estates of Jefferson or Madison were thinking of suing for copyright infringement, they would have a reasonably strong case. Phrases like "In the course of a nation's history..." and "we the people" might cause readers to wonder where they might have heard those words before. The good news for Republicans is that, given their ages, there's an even chance their members were around when the words were first written.
Maine is apparently besieged on all sides by the sinister forces of "one world Government" and opponents of "Austrian Economics" (For an explanation of Austrian Economics see http://mises.org/etexts/austrian.asp I'm not doing your homework for you!) There are firmly stated objections to several United Nations agencies, global treaties and any agreement that surrenders the sovereignty of America. Wow! Who would have guessed the Laws of the Sea Treaty and the Treaty on the Rights of the Child could stir the blood of the good people of Maine?
Domestically, the threats come in bunches. The Maine GOP is opposed to any attempt to restrict a citizen's right to own a gun. Mainers feel so strongly about this, it's mentioned twice. (Never mind that no attempt has been made by the administration or anyone else to confiscate so much as a single firearm and that every court decision in the recent past has supported the senseless and unnecessary ownership of guns. I guess you can never be too careful.) Maine's Republicans are also opposed to motor-voter laws, political correctness (Mainers like to call a spade a spade), amnesty ("ever") for illegals and (this is a new one!) any attempt to allow foreigners to vote. Man, there is some insidious s--t going on in Maine.
There are a string of anti-incumbent/term limit provisions along with a serious wish list of stuff elected officials can and can't do. These folks not only hate their elected officials they hate the people they haven't elected yet. There is actually a "read the bill" clause for congresspeople. No one mentions if there will be a test. Naturally, no gay marriage, no abortion, no bail-outs and no cap and trade (The document actually refers to the "global warming myth".) Yeses include: prayer in schools, zero based budgeting, and parental corporal punishment for children.
In an interesting nod to Ron Paul, patron saint of the Libertarian Right, Maine seeks to eliminate the Federal Reserve. All those who think the average Maine farmer has the slightest idea of the role of the Fed, signify by saying Yeah, right!
Maine's Republicans are particularly unhappy with the healthcare bill and the penalties for being uninsured. Taxes for Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare as well as federal income taxes don't seem to bother Mainers much but,healthcare has them pulling down Old Betsy from over the fireplace. "Healthcare is not a right. It's a service. Clearly the authors of this platform missed the "inalienable rights" of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" in their plagiaristic meandering.
How can a society that has been given so much be so unfeeling regarding the simplest effort to care for others?People who donate kidneys to strangers will leave the hospital to protest the concept of medical for all.
Maine's Republicans are right about one thing: we are under attack. We are under attack by people who see compassion as weakness. We are besieged by a relatively small but vocal group of scared, old people who want simple answers and Glenn Beck solutions. The complexion of America is changing. Securing the border (even if it were possible) won't change that. We have enemies; people who mean us harm. Shredding the Constitution will not stop attacks like Times Square and we need to stop acting and talking like it will. Wailing about your right to own a gun ignores the fact that too many people own guns and too many people die because of it. We need to stop hunting for ghosts under the mattress and stop listening to politicians who pander to our
basest fears. We're a big, strong country. We can tolerate a little chaos. What we can't tolerate is a return to Austrian Economics...whatever that is.
Friday, May 07, 2010
...or should tasering replace the hook on American Idol?
People who could use a good tasering.
Guys who run out on baseball fields.
The boob who was tasered in Philadelphia last week for interrupting play so the world would know what a moron he was, got just what he deserved. Overweight security personnel should not have to chase this jackass around the outfield like it was the running of the bulls in Pamplona. In a perfect world the perp should have been tasered, de-pantsed and made to walk off the field. Now that's entertainment.
People who flog themselves in the name of Christ.
Self flagellation seems the exclusive purview of Catholics. Why is that? Where in Scripture does it say that Jesus will love you more if you make yourself bleed? The closest the Jews get to self inflicted pain is paying retail. (Being Presbyterian is punishment in itself.) Baptists, Methodists, Mormons all want to be closer to God but no one feels the need to run down to Nordstroms for a hair shirt. If you really feel the need to suffer, force yourself to watch 12 straight hours of Judge Judy.
Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona
In case you were thinking of praising Gov. Brewer for focusing the country's attention on the deplorable job the federal government is doing on immigration, think again. In order to ensure there is no question about her racist motives, Gov. Brewer has signed a bill banning ethnic studies in Arizona schools. Apparently Latino students in some high schools were being told that they were an oppressed minority. DUH! This governor is about two signatures away from proclaiming "white's only" water fountains. How about a brown lawn jockey in front of the governor's mansion?
This "race to the radical right" is beyond disgraceful. John "build the damn fence" McCain (who opposed a border fence as recently as 2008) is desperately campaigning to everyone who will listen that brown people need to go. It's amazing that he hasn't brought back Willie Horton. Everyone was appalled when Texas whispered the word secession, but at this rate the Obama administration should be looking at selling Arizona back to Mexico. Hey, if we grant statehood to Puerto Rico, we don't have to change the flag.
Sarah Palin
True, general principles would be enough to taser Sister Sarah; it might even correct that annoying eye-twitch. However, adding insult to literary injury, the Quitter from Wacilla is planning to release yet another book. Titled "America By Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag" the volume will not contain a single word of new prose. (Sarah's first book did include many pages of original content...just not written by Sarah.) This book also will be entirely composed of the writings of others only this time the authors will be credited. The book will be a cross between "Chicken Soup for the Politically Challenged" and "Patriotism for Dummies". Presumably everyone who buys a copy will get a free insulin shot.
Publishers Harper Collins (owned by News Corp) has promised a wonderful compilation of bromides, anecdotes and even songs that were the inspiration for Sarah Palin's core beliefs and principles. This could prove challenging in that, based on her performance in interviews, Sarah has never read anything more compelling than "close cover before striking" on a book of matches. Predictably, wisdom such as "any job worth doing is worth doing well" and "always finish what you start" will be excluded. Maybe they can get Thomas Kincade to do the dust jacket.
Guys who run out on baseball fields.
The boob who was tasered in Philadelphia last week for interrupting play so the world would know what a moron he was, got just what he deserved. Overweight security personnel should not have to chase this jackass around the outfield like it was the running of the bulls in Pamplona. In a perfect world the perp should have been tasered, de-pantsed and made to walk off the field. Now that's entertainment.
People who flog themselves in the name of Christ.
Self flagellation seems the exclusive purview of Catholics. Why is that? Where in Scripture does it say that Jesus will love you more if you make yourself bleed? The closest the Jews get to self inflicted pain is paying retail. (Being Presbyterian is punishment in itself.) Baptists, Methodists, Mormons all want to be closer to God but no one feels the need to run down to Nordstroms for a hair shirt. If you really feel the need to suffer, force yourself to watch 12 straight hours of Judge Judy.
Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona
In case you were thinking of praising Gov. Brewer for focusing the country's attention on the deplorable job the federal government is doing on immigration, think again. In order to ensure there is no question about her racist motives, Gov. Brewer has signed a bill banning ethnic studies in Arizona schools. Apparently Latino students in some high schools were being told that they were an oppressed minority. DUH! This governor is about two signatures away from proclaiming "white's only" water fountains. How about a brown lawn jockey in front of the governor's mansion?
This "race to the radical right" is beyond disgraceful. John "build the damn fence" McCain (who opposed a border fence as recently as 2008) is desperately campaigning to everyone who will listen that brown people need to go. It's amazing that he hasn't brought back Willie Horton. Everyone was appalled when Texas whispered the word secession, but at this rate the Obama administration should be looking at selling Arizona back to Mexico. Hey, if we grant statehood to Puerto Rico, we don't have to change the flag.
Sarah Palin
True, general principles would be enough to taser Sister Sarah; it might even correct that annoying eye-twitch. However, adding insult to literary injury, the Quitter from Wacilla is planning to release yet another book. Titled "America By Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag" the volume will not contain a single word of new prose. (Sarah's first book did include many pages of original content...just not written by Sarah.) This book also will be entirely composed of the writings of others only this time the authors will be credited. The book will be a cross between "Chicken Soup for the Politically Challenged" and "Patriotism for Dummies". Presumably everyone who buys a copy will get a free insulin shot.
Publishers Harper Collins (owned by News Corp) has promised a wonderful compilation of bromides, anecdotes and even songs that were the inspiration for Sarah Palin's core beliefs and principles. This could prove challenging in that, based on her performance in interviews, Sarah has never read anything more compelling than "close cover before striking" on a book of matches. Predictably, wisdom such as "any job worth doing is worth doing well" and "always finish what you start" will be excluded. Maybe they can get Thomas Kincade to do the dust jacket.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
...or would anyone like to apply for the firearms concession at GITMO?
"I don't think it's appropriate for us to go down the road we're going." Thus spake Lindsay Graham, Republican Senator from South Carolina. Sen. Graham's remarks were addressed to the Senate Homeland Security Committee regarding whether people who appear on the U.S. terrorist watch list should be legally permitted to purchase a gun. Anyone with an IQ in two digits is already appalled that a suspected terrorist can buy a gun anywhere any time. What sort of a dingbat society has such laws? Read on! The issue, called the "terror gap" in federal law, came to light when New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg and New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly were testifying pursuant to the attempted Times Square bombing. It seems that during the Bush/Cheney "let's shred the Constitution" party, held after 9-11, the only civil right left un-mutilated was the dubious right to purchase and own weapons of personal destruction.
That's right boys and girls, your phone can be tapped, your library habits investigated, your internet preferences monitored, your right to fly revoked, your right to a lawyer questioned, your choice of friends checked out and your very liberty rescinded but God dammit you can buy a freekin' gun. What brand of twisted, insane logic permits an American citizen to be stripped of virtually every freedom guaranteed by the Constitution and 200 years of common law, save one? How was any lawmaker, standing in the ashes of the World Trade Center, able to craft a draconian bill like the Patriot Act, and exempt gun ownership from the list of prohibitions? One would expect a gutless wonder like John McCain to support "guns for terror suspects". Hell, he'd support guns for The Salvation Army if he thought it made him look Conservative. The rest of cognisant America has to see how ridiculous this looks.
Can you imagine standing in front of anyone, except the local chapter of the NRA, and explaining that, just because you are on the no-fly list shouldn't prohibit you from buying a semi-automatic weapon? The argument that no-fly lists are imperfect, inaccurate and poorly maintained is dishonest and insincere. Sen. Graham, along with his Republican brothers, are only too happy to wave the flag all day in defense of "American safety". If a few messy civil rights get in the way, so be it. Water-boarding? Fine. Stopping Latino men in Arizona to ask for papers? Great. Denying a terror suspect the chance to own a Glock? Not on my watch.
Sen. Joe Lieberman, always anxious to prove that tough and stupid aren't the same thing, has suggested revoking the citizenship of anyone suspected of aiding America's enemies. Can't have those annoying liberals crying about Miranda rights. Not when there's some good torture to be inflicted. You get the feeling Joe wants to replace Blackwater with Mossad. Sen. Lieberman would have been right at home during the auto de fe except he would have found himself on the business end of the branding irons. Joe, if you want to torture terrorists, I suggest singing to them.
Don't be surprised to learn that those "tough on terror" conservative senators experience the true meaning of terror when the NRA threatens to withdraw support (and campaign contributions) from anyone who votes to limit gun ownership. I mean, keeping America safe is one thing but keeping my job/pension/staff/invitations to cool parties/ is the bedrock of our democracy. Anyway, who cares if the Times Square Bomber bought a gun in Connecticut? It's not like he checked out a suspicious library book.
That's right boys and girls, your phone can be tapped, your library habits investigated, your internet preferences monitored, your right to fly revoked, your right to a lawyer questioned, your choice of friends checked out and your very liberty rescinded but God dammit you can buy a freekin' gun. What brand of twisted, insane logic permits an American citizen to be stripped of virtually every freedom guaranteed by the Constitution and 200 years of common law, save one? How was any lawmaker, standing in the ashes of the World Trade Center, able to craft a draconian bill like the Patriot Act, and exempt gun ownership from the list of prohibitions? One would expect a gutless wonder like John McCain to support "guns for terror suspects". Hell, he'd support guns for The Salvation Army if he thought it made him look Conservative. The rest of cognisant America has to see how ridiculous this looks.
Can you imagine standing in front of anyone, except the local chapter of the NRA, and explaining that, just because you are on the no-fly list shouldn't prohibit you from buying a semi-automatic weapon? The argument that no-fly lists are imperfect, inaccurate and poorly maintained is dishonest and insincere. Sen. Graham, along with his Republican brothers, are only too happy to wave the flag all day in defense of "American safety". If a few messy civil rights get in the way, so be it. Water-boarding? Fine. Stopping Latino men in Arizona to ask for papers? Great. Denying a terror suspect the chance to own a Glock? Not on my watch.
Sen. Joe Lieberman, always anxious to prove that tough and stupid aren't the same thing, has suggested revoking the citizenship of anyone suspected of aiding America's enemies. Can't have those annoying liberals crying about Miranda rights. Not when there's some good torture to be inflicted. You get the feeling Joe wants to replace Blackwater with Mossad. Sen. Lieberman would have been right at home during the auto de fe except he would have found himself on the business end of the branding irons. Joe, if you want to torture terrorists, I suggest singing to them.
Don't be surprised to learn that those "tough on terror" conservative senators experience the true meaning of terror when the NRA threatens to withdraw support (and campaign contributions) from anyone who votes to limit gun ownership. I mean, keeping America safe is one thing but keeping my job/pension/staff/invitations to cool parties/ is the bedrock of our democracy. Anyway, who cares if the Times Square Bomber bought a gun in Connecticut? It's not like he checked out a suspicious library book.
Monday, May 03, 2010
...or is a Church with too many secret societies bound to have too many secrets?
In what appears to be an earnest effort to (finally) get ahead of the sexual abuse scandal in his Church, Pope Benedict XVI is moving to clean up at least one aspect of ecclesiastic criminal conduct. The Pope has ordered an investigation into the administration of a sub-sect in Catholicism called the Legion of Christ. Turns out that this nest of uber-Catholics was founded and led by Father Marcial Maciel Degollado, a Mexican bi-sexual priest with a string of offenses that would make a cartel druglord blush. His list of mortal sins includes: drug abuse, the wholesale plagiarism of a book, financial irregularities within his organization and, the ever popular, sex with both seminarians and female members of his flock. (For bonus points, he had a child by one of them.) On the plus side, he did give up sweets for Lent.
This little episode didn't surface recently amid global tales of clerical transgression. Father Macial's peccadillos have been under investigation since 1956. That's 54 years. Allowing for the glacial movement of the wheels of justice, this is the equivalent of holding the Nuremberg trials in 2002. If you're wondering what was holding up the show, look no further than the usual suspects. It seems that Father Macial had a friend in a very high place. Before Pope John Paul II went knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door, he spent twenty years defending this despicable felon. Apparently the ability to recruit priests (with the offer of candy and a ride in the pope-mobile) and his ability to raise money, trumped morality and obedience to one's vows. When an investigation was launched by the bishop of Mexico City, it was squelched by none other than Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger aka Benedict the sixteenth of that name. To be fair, there is a rumor afoot that the order to halt the investigation came directly from JPII. Little messy scandals like this are why a rush to sainthood for the former pope is such a bad idea.
Of greater concern to the Church should be the damage done to her already tattered reputation by the revelation of secret societies within the clergy and the laity. We aren't talking about religious orders of priests and nuns who operate in the open and whose good works are legion. However, super groups like Regnum Christi (a sub-sub set of Father Maciel's "Legion") and Opus Dei have amassed money and power behind closed doors. Rome has been thusfar unable to resist the lure of devout sub-groups with big money and backstage passes to the halls of influence. The RCC has been less tolerant of organizations like the Freemasons or the Oddfellows whose leadership Rome does not control.
The problem with anointing these over-the-top zealots is that, like all poor sinners, they have feet of clay. Revelations of financial misconduct or sexual dalliance among its leaders taint not just the group but Mother Church as well. Considering that Rome has spent 50 years attempting to perfume the smell coming from the Legion of Christ, it becomes difficult to plead ignorance.
Sadly, Benedict has not moved to disband the Legion. A symbiotic relationship stretching back through six pontificates is difficult to sever. Nevertheless it needs to happen. The Vatican must consult a dictionary for the meaning of "catholic". Mine says, "universal, involving all". This isn't Scientology. There aren't levels of devotion. There is no "my faith is stronger than your faith" test. If you're so inclined, become a priest or a nun or a deacon. Forget secret societies and secret handshakes. Nothing good ever comes of meetings held in the dark.
This little episode didn't surface recently amid global tales of clerical transgression. Father Macial's peccadillos have been under investigation since 1956. That's 54 years. Allowing for the glacial movement of the wheels of justice, this is the equivalent of holding the Nuremberg trials in 2002. If you're wondering what was holding up the show, look no further than the usual suspects. It seems that Father Macial had a friend in a very high place. Before Pope John Paul II went knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door, he spent twenty years defending this despicable felon. Apparently the ability to recruit priests (with the offer of candy and a ride in the pope-mobile) and his ability to raise money, trumped morality and obedience to one's vows. When an investigation was launched by the bishop of Mexico City, it was squelched by none other than Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger aka Benedict the sixteenth of that name. To be fair, there is a rumor afoot that the order to halt the investigation came directly from JPII. Little messy scandals like this are why a rush to sainthood for the former pope is such a bad idea.
Of greater concern to the Church should be the damage done to her already tattered reputation by the revelation of secret societies within the clergy and the laity. We aren't talking about religious orders of priests and nuns who operate in the open and whose good works are legion. However, super groups like Regnum Christi (a sub-sub set of Father Maciel's "Legion") and Opus Dei have amassed money and power behind closed doors. Rome has been thusfar unable to resist the lure of devout sub-groups with big money and backstage passes to the halls of influence. The RCC has been less tolerant of organizations like the Freemasons or the Oddfellows whose leadership Rome does not control.
The problem with anointing these over-the-top zealots is that, like all poor sinners, they have feet of clay. Revelations of financial misconduct or sexual dalliance among its leaders taint not just the group but Mother Church as well. Considering that Rome has spent 50 years attempting to perfume the smell coming from the Legion of Christ, it becomes difficult to plead ignorance.
Sadly, Benedict has not moved to disband the Legion. A symbiotic relationship stretching back through six pontificates is difficult to sever. Nevertheless it needs to happen. The Vatican must consult a dictionary for the meaning of "catholic". Mine says, "universal, involving all". This isn't Scientology. There aren't levels of devotion. There is no "my faith is stronger than your faith" test. If you're so inclined, become a priest or a nun or a deacon. Forget secret societies and secret handshakes. Nothing good ever comes of meetings held in the dark.
Saturday, May 01, 2010
...or were you as shocked as I to learn that people in Alabama speak English?
Is that what that is? Well steal my Moonpie and call me a possum!
Tim James, redneck extraordinaire and would be Republican Governor of Alabama has become the darling of Youtube this week with his campaign ad trashing (or maybe trashin') the government of Alabama for administering the driver's license exam in 12 languages. For those of you that care, some of those languages include Greek, Korean, Farsi (spoken mostly in Iran. I guess Alabama doesn't want those suicide bombers to get a summons) Russian, Chinese and Thai. In other words, the language of every restaurant owner who isn't serving poke salad or collard greens.
Let's be serious. The reason Alabama administers the written test in multiple languages is to accommodate the foreign corporations that have built facilities there. The Germans working at the Mercedes plant in Vance, Alabama probably speak English better than the natives. Nevertheless, as a gesture of good will, these guest workers are permitted to express their knowledge of the rules of the road in their native tongue. Ditto for the Japanese in Lincoln and the Koreans in Montgomery. After all, we want those nice little folks at Honda and Hyundai to experience southern hospitality. I'm too lazy to determine why Farsi is among the privileged but I'm pretty sure it's not altruism or a neighborly hand extended to our Muslim brothers. There's a buck in there somewhere.
All of this is newsworthy (normally no one gives a rat's ass which goober is currently running Alabama) because of the novel, if slightly racist, legislation enacted by the State of Arizona. The government of the Grand Canyon State has taken 1 + 1 and gotten 11. One, the problems of porous borders and unenforced federal laws should not fall to the individual states to correct or subsidize. Two, someone needed to do something to kick Washington in the ass and force them to act. However, "where are your papers?" is a cliche better left in 1940's film noir. Requiring people who "look like they don't belong in America" to show proof of legal status is not the answer.
And please don't tell me this isn't racial profiling. The cops in Phoenix won't be detaining a samurai warrior in armour or a yodeling gentleman in lederhosen. However if your skin is tanned and you're wearing an old ball cap and flannel shirt expect the constabulary to take an interest. Can you imagine the ironic laughter among the 120,000 0r so Navajo living in the state? They're thinking that if they had adopted this policy 200 years ago, they'd own downtown Phoenix instead of a pile of rocks in the Mojave.
Laws like Arizona's are just the latest salvo in the culture war that has intensified with the election of an African American. People shouting about the loss of American Culture would have been right at home in Boston in 1880 railing against the Irish hordes pouring into New England or in Miami wailing over the Mariel Boatlift of Cubans in 1980. Considering the immigrant makeup of our population, America's terror regarding aliens is troubling. The prospective governor of Alabama could care less that driver's tests are given in French. This is about Spanish. "Real Americans" who think the war against their own government in 1860 was perfectly nifty, feel somehow threatened by bilingual signs in Walmart. Relax! Have a Bud, (currently owned by Imbev of Belgium). Take a ride in your Chevy (assembled in Mexico). Just remember if you like to dress up as a Venetian Gondola pilot, stay out of Flagstaff. Oh, by the way, you won't get a license in Alabama either. Italian isn't one of the languages.
Tim James, redneck extraordinaire and would be Republican Governor of Alabama has become the darling of Youtube this week with his campaign ad trashing (or maybe trashin') the government of Alabama for administering the driver's license exam in 12 languages. For those of you that care, some of those languages include Greek, Korean, Farsi (spoken mostly in Iran. I guess Alabama doesn't want those suicide bombers to get a summons) Russian, Chinese and Thai. In other words, the language of every restaurant owner who isn't serving poke salad or collard greens.
Let's be serious. The reason Alabama administers the written test in multiple languages is to accommodate the foreign corporations that have built facilities there. The Germans working at the Mercedes plant in Vance, Alabama probably speak English better than the natives. Nevertheless, as a gesture of good will, these guest workers are permitted to express their knowledge of the rules of the road in their native tongue. Ditto for the Japanese in Lincoln and the Koreans in Montgomery. After all, we want those nice little folks at Honda and Hyundai to experience southern hospitality. I'm too lazy to determine why Farsi is among the privileged but I'm pretty sure it's not altruism or a neighborly hand extended to our Muslim brothers. There's a buck in there somewhere.
All of this is newsworthy (normally no one gives a rat's ass which goober is currently running Alabama) because of the novel, if slightly racist, legislation enacted by the State of Arizona. The government of the Grand Canyon State has taken 1 + 1 and gotten 11. One, the problems of porous borders and unenforced federal laws should not fall to the individual states to correct or subsidize. Two, someone needed to do something to kick Washington in the ass and force them to act. However, "where are your papers?" is a cliche better left in 1940's film noir. Requiring people who "look like they don't belong in America" to show proof of legal status is not the answer.
And please don't tell me this isn't racial profiling. The cops in Phoenix won't be detaining a samurai warrior in armour or a yodeling gentleman in lederhosen. However if your skin is tanned and you're wearing an old ball cap and flannel shirt expect the constabulary to take an interest. Can you imagine the ironic laughter among the 120,000 0r so Navajo living in the state? They're thinking that if they had adopted this policy 200 years ago, they'd own downtown Phoenix instead of a pile of rocks in the Mojave.
Laws like Arizona's are just the latest salvo in the culture war that has intensified with the election of an African American. People shouting about the loss of American Culture would have been right at home in Boston in 1880 railing against the Irish hordes pouring into New England or in Miami wailing over the Mariel Boatlift of Cubans in 1980. Considering the immigrant makeup of our population, America's terror regarding aliens is troubling. The prospective governor of Alabama could care less that driver's tests are given in French. This is about Spanish. "Real Americans" who think the war against their own government in 1860 was perfectly nifty, feel somehow threatened by bilingual signs in Walmart. Relax! Have a Bud, (currently owned by Imbev of Belgium). Take a ride in your Chevy (assembled in Mexico). Just remember if you like to dress up as a Venetian Gondola pilot, stay out of Flagstaff. Oh, by the way, you won't get a license in Alabama either. Italian isn't one of the languages.
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