More news you can't use:
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The United States has allocated millions of dollars in additional funds to improve the road system in Afghanistan.
This announcement has come as welcome news to several factions in this is beleaguered country. A spokesman for Mullah Omar, leader of the Taliban stated, "It's about time. Americans have no idea how difficult it has been to move men and munitions over the goat trails and cart paths of the Kabul suburbs." With the promise of new roads there is every reason to believe that the Taliban will be ready to reestablish control of Afghanistan once America withdraws its forces.
A spokesperson for the US Air Force was quoted as expressing relief that American fighter planes will now have some new targets to attack. "Shooting at rubble is boring" said one pilot. "At least a road presents a viable objective."
The Army Corp of Engineers has assured the citizens of the region that the roads will be completed in plenty of time to transport the opium crop to market in 2009.
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A contest is being held to name the new seven wonders of the world.
An organization called the "New 7 Wonders of the World" is inviting people from around the globe to vote on which "wonders" should make the list. The head of the Egyptian Supreme Council of Antiquities is appalled that the Pyramids of Giza should have to stand for a vote in order to make the grade. There are 21 "wonders" on the ballot including the Statue of Liberty and the Eiffel Tower. Those of you expecting to vote for Dolly Parton's breasts will be sorely disappointed. Contest officials decided to eliminate Ms. Parton's gravity-defying attributes over a dispute as to whether to consider them one wonder or two.
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Prince Charles of England and his wife the Duchess of Cornwall are on a whirlwind tour of the Northeastern United States which includes a trip to New York. Seeing the royal couple emerge from the Arch Street Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, it's easy to see why Charles preferred Camilla to Diana. Beauty will out. If there is any doubt as to why Queen Elizabeth isn't willing to let her son become king, I suspect that she is wary of other choices he might make.
Seeing Americans standing out in the cold waiting for an opportunity to glimpse the royal couple causes one to wonder why anyone would stand out in the cold waiting for an opportunity to glimpse the royal couple. Get a life, please.
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The federal government has only provided $145 million for the recovery of New Orleans.
As the cost of the War in Iraq approaches $400 billion, Mayor Ray Nagin appeared before Congress to complain that, thus far, the government has only authorized $110 billion in aid for New Orleans and, of that, only a fraction of the cash has materialized. Keep in mind that the government sent $118 million immediately to rebuild the Superdome. Well, all those white, season-ticket holders needed someplace to drink on Sundays didn't they?
I suggest that Mayor Nagin threaten the government with the possibility that New Orleans is harboring WMD's or nuclear weapons. The city will certainly see more troops than they ever did when the storm hit. Mayor Nagin may be deposed and executed but at least Halliburton would be sent in to spend (or squander) the billions needed for reconstruction.
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Two fraternity brothers in Florida were found guilty of paddling a pledge during a hazing ritual and sentenced to two years in prison. The students were tried twice before a guilty verdict was returned. Injuries aside, is there really so little crime to pursue in Florida that the DA in Tallahassee can afford two trials for one beating? Oh, by the way, three other frat brothers (who are all brothers) will be tried a third time in March. Paging Mike Nifong.
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President George W. Bush asserts that the missing "-ic" in his State of the Union speech was nothing more than an oversight. Early in the address the President congratulated the "Democrat Majority" for its November electoral victory. Some saw this as a slight to the Democrats.
While he was correcting omissions, Mr. Bush said that, regarding the war in Iraq, he inadvertently left the "un" off of the word "winnable" and the "ill" off of "conceived".
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The French have banned smoking in all public buildings, hospitals and schools as part of a two-stage program that will include restaurants and cafes by 2008. Wow! If you thought the French were cranky and hard to deal with before, can you imagine what they will be like now. A word to Germany...I wouldn't try another invasion for a while.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Saturday, January 27, 2007
...or is sensitivity in the eye of the ticketholder?
Every once in a while a little controversy leaks into the otherwise predictable columns of our newspaper's sports pages. Amidst the box scores and the stories of drug arrests and spousal abuse, we are occasionally treated to a piece on the appropriateness of school mascots. For as long as I can remember there has been a debate over high school and college nicknames. One group or another is offended by the depiction of their race or ethnic tribe, (already I'm in trouble), as the symbol of this or that school. Charges of racism are countered by appeals to tradition.
Some are easily adjudicated such as the high school in Pekin, Illnois which, because of the similarity to the Chinese capital, called themselves the Pekin Chinks. You can't make this stuff up! Although the more egregious sins in mascotry are easily identified and disposed of, some are a closer call. The only thing that appears clear is that when states, school boards, and governing bodies try to legislate a solution, chaos ensues. No problem was ever so bad that a little interference from government couldn't make it worse.
Most of America probably sees this as much ado about nothing. I, for one, think that the marketplace should deal with the problem. If Washington Redskins fans stopped buying tickets to Dan Snyder's football venue, the name of the team would get changed faster than George Bush's Iraq policy. Commerce usually affects swifter change than righteous indignation. "Redskins" seems a particularly troubling name especially in Washington. Many of the broken treaties signed by tribes from Illinios to Montana are still stored at the Department of the Interior. Besides, in Washington, political correctness is a religion. Would anyone tolerate the "Washington Wetbacks"?
Rather than take a position on this issue, (I have none), I will instead cite a few examples of how this issue is playing out around America:
North Dakota University
Known as the "Fighting Sioux". Back in 1995 the university president received a $120 million donation from Ralph Engelstad to build a new hockey arena. At the same time, several Native American students were successfully lobbying to remove the "offensive" school logo from the building. Mr. Engelstad, a proud alumnus,(but not a Native American), explained in the clearest possible terms: no Fighting Sioux, no money. Faced with a difficult choice the school's president thought long and hard over this moral dilemma. If you are wondering how the story ended, please visit the University of North Dakota's web site and see how the Fighting Sioux fared this week in their beautiful new hockey facility. Score one for "tradition".
University of Illinois
In a school where a recent Greek society party dubbed "Mexican taco and tequila nite" featured its guests dressed as pregnant women and gardeners, little can be expected in the way of cultural diversity and understanding. Nevertheless, opposition to Chief Illiniwek, the schools dancing Native American mascot, has been met with particular viciousness. Save-the-Chief web sites are littered with invectives toward Native Americans. Phrases like "casino-owning, drunks" are not uncommon. The recent request by the Oglala Sioux Nation to return the costume worn by the Chief at sporting events prompted one supporter to call them "Indian givers". Where will it end?
Florida State University
The Seminoles of Florida State have concocted a way around both the NCAA and those sensitive souls who feel harassed by the school's Indian-head mascot. FSU has actively sought buy-in from the Seminole Nation regarding how the school uses images of the tribe. All presentations of the Seminole name and likeness are approved by the tribe's council (and presumably by their lawyers). Predictably, there is some "buy" in the buy-in. The tribe isn't lending the use of its image for nothing. Nevertheless the NCAA seems satisfied and no one is flogging FSU to become the FSU Evergladers.
NCAA
America's favorite collegiate governing body has created a tangled, indecipherable collection of rules intended to mollify all parties in this dispute. Naturally, the effect is exactly the opposite. They have arm-twisted several schools like St. John's (formerly Redmen now Red Storm) and Marquette (formerly the Warriors now the Golden Eagles) into a mascot-ectomy. Of only minor note is the fact that St. John's Redmen were so named because the football team used to wear red jerseys. In other words no Native Americans were harmed in the creation of this logo. But why cloud the issue with facts. Regarding the Marquette Golden Eagles, the aviary community has yet to voice an opinion.
Notre Dame
The university has stated on many occasions that their logo is about Leprechauns, not about any nationality. One imagines that they actually say that with a straight face.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to whether I can decide if you are offended. Clearly, if a logo or nickname causes any group to feel ashamed, the name should be changed. Tradition be damned. We don't condone Confederate flags flying over state capitals any more. We've modernized Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben so that they don't look like house slaves. Schools and pro sports teams will survive change as well.
In the meantime will somebody do something about the banana-nose Indian logo used by the Cleveland Indians? Well, maybe I have an opinion after all.
Some are easily adjudicated such as the high school in Pekin, Illnois which, because of the similarity to the Chinese capital, called themselves the Pekin Chinks. You can't make this stuff up! Although the more egregious sins in mascotry are easily identified and disposed of, some are a closer call. The only thing that appears clear is that when states, school boards, and governing bodies try to legislate a solution, chaos ensues. No problem was ever so bad that a little interference from government couldn't make it worse.
Most of America probably sees this as much ado about nothing. I, for one, think that the marketplace should deal with the problem. If Washington Redskins fans stopped buying tickets to Dan Snyder's football venue, the name of the team would get changed faster than George Bush's Iraq policy. Commerce usually affects swifter change than righteous indignation. "Redskins" seems a particularly troubling name especially in Washington. Many of the broken treaties signed by tribes from Illinios to Montana are still stored at the Department of the Interior. Besides, in Washington, political correctness is a religion. Would anyone tolerate the "Washington Wetbacks"?
Rather than take a position on this issue, (I have none), I will instead cite a few examples of how this issue is playing out around America:
North Dakota University
Known as the "Fighting Sioux". Back in 1995 the university president received a $120 million donation from Ralph Engelstad to build a new hockey arena. At the same time, several Native American students were successfully lobbying to remove the "offensive" school logo from the building. Mr. Engelstad, a proud alumnus,(but not a Native American), explained in the clearest possible terms: no Fighting Sioux, no money. Faced with a difficult choice the school's president thought long and hard over this moral dilemma. If you are wondering how the story ended, please visit the University of North Dakota's web site and see how the Fighting Sioux fared this week in their beautiful new hockey facility. Score one for "tradition".
University of Illinois
In a school where a recent Greek society party dubbed "Mexican taco and tequila nite" featured its guests dressed as pregnant women and gardeners, little can be expected in the way of cultural diversity and understanding. Nevertheless, opposition to Chief Illiniwek, the schools dancing Native American mascot, has been met with particular viciousness. Save-the-Chief web sites are littered with invectives toward Native Americans. Phrases like "casino-owning, drunks" are not uncommon. The recent request by the Oglala Sioux Nation to return the costume worn by the Chief at sporting events prompted one supporter to call them "Indian givers". Where will it end?
Florida State University
The Seminoles of Florida State have concocted a way around both the NCAA and those sensitive souls who feel harassed by the school's Indian-head mascot. FSU has actively sought buy-in from the Seminole Nation regarding how the school uses images of the tribe. All presentations of the Seminole name and likeness are approved by the tribe's council (and presumably by their lawyers). Predictably, there is some "buy" in the buy-in. The tribe isn't lending the use of its image for nothing. Nevertheless the NCAA seems satisfied and no one is flogging FSU to become the FSU Evergladers.
NCAA
America's favorite collegiate governing body has created a tangled, indecipherable collection of rules intended to mollify all parties in this dispute. Naturally, the effect is exactly the opposite. They have arm-twisted several schools like St. John's (formerly Redmen now Red Storm) and Marquette (formerly the Warriors now the Golden Eagles) into a mascot-ectomy. Of only minor note is the fact that St. John's Redmen were so named because the football team used to wear red jerseys. In other words no Native Americans were harmed in the creation of this logo. But why cloud the issue with facts. Regarding the Marquette Golden Eagles, the aviary community has yet to voice an opinion.
Notre Dame
The university has stated on many occasions that their logo is about Leprechauns, not about any nationality. One imagines that they actually say that with a straight face.
At the end of the day, it all comes down to whether I can decide if you are offended. Clearly, if a logo or nickname causes any group to feel ashamed, the name should be changed. Tradition be damned. We don't condone Confederate flags flying over state capitals any more. We've modernized Aunt Jemima and Uncle Ben so that they don't look like house slaves. Schools and pro sports teams will survive change as well.
In the meantime will somebody do something about the banana-nose Indian logo used by the Cleveland Indians? Well, maybe I have an opinion after all.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
...has the real architect of American Foreign Policy finally stood up?
During the ride back from a meeting of the crime families in New York, Vito Corleone tells Tom Hagen, "...but I didn't know until this day that it was Barzini all along." Well, based on the speeches and interviews of the last few days, it seems clear that it was Cheney all along.
This is not exactly the revelation of the age. Cheney is a much older hand than the President. It appears likely that the Republican plan all along was to elect someone, anyone, who would allow Cheney, Rumsfeld and the boys to dictate foreign policy. John McCain wasn't about to be steam-rolled by these guys which is why he was torpedoed in South Carolina in 2000. George W. was barely able to stand up to Al Gore and John Kerry. How do you imagine he fared at a meeting with his father's former advisers? He's lucky they didn't offer him a phonebook to sit on. Even Colin Powell says he thought of George as Skippy.
Well, it's now 2007. We have been at war for almost five years. 3,000+ Americans are dead and thousands more are coming home in one boot or with one sleeve pinned at the shoulder. The President has made two speeches in the last few weeks in which he virtually pleaded with the American people to give him just one more opportunity to fix Iraq. Congress is about to test the boundaries of the War Powers Clauses of the Constitution. Thank God Rumsfeld and Wolfowicz are out of the picture. Karl Rove has taken his magic wand to the shop to discover why it failed in the 2006 elections. One adviser remains. The man who not only orchestrated the invasion of Iraq but provided his own company as the agents for what came after: Vice President Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney who couldn't be bothered to serve his country during Vietnam, citing "other priorities".
Dick Cheney who gave us such memorable quotes as, "We will be greeted as liberators" and "We know that he (Saddam Hussein) is devoted to acquiring nuclear weapons and we believe that he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons."
Dick Cheney who, now that his lesbian daughter is pregnant, resents any mention of the subject and refuses to comment on the anti-gay rhetoric that got he and George elected.
Your first clue as to the VP's importance should have been when, immediately after 9/11, it was he who was removed to a secure location. Even then, the Secret Service knew who was calling the shots.
Now that even the President admits that the war is a mess, Vice President Cheney is having none of it. In a contentious interview with Wolf Blitzer on Wednesday, Mr. Cheney refuses to acknowledge that there is anything amiss in the Middle East. He is not especially interested in the opinion of Congress ( and by extension the American people) regarding the conduct of the war. According to him, all dissent is virtual treason, giving aid and comfort to the enemy. One gets the unmistakable feeling that Dick Cheney knows he's right and he would really appreciate it if the rest of us, 300 million Americans, would just stop whining and let him run the world.
Mr. Cheney rails that we have had "enormous successes" in Iraq. (Naturally, this string of victories is going totally unreported by the liberal media). The facts , however would tend to support a contrary position. If you accept that our only objective was the elimination of Saddam Hussein than one would have to agree: Mission Accomplished. However, virtually all of the American combat deaths have occurred since Saddam ran for his spider-hole. If we are having such success, why does the President need 21,500 additional troops just to attempt to pacify the capital? We could have committed a much larger force at the beginning but, in spite of the concerns of America's generals, less than 125,000 troops were committed.
The administration didn't have to look far to learn what would probably happen in Iraq after Saddam. Shortly after the Iron Curtain fell, Yugoslavia was plunged into a terrible civil war. The country had been an uneasy collection of partisan factions kept in check by a strong, if oppressive, central government. Once that government (and its troops) were gone, neighbors began shooting at each other. After more than 100,000 people were killed a truce was brokered and it's still holding. By that reckoning Iraq still has about 40,000 more casualties to absorb.
Mr. Cheney is a little fuzzy on exactly who our enemies are. All Iraqis are either Shi'ites or Sunni. Both have guns. Both are determined to run the country. The Shi'ites are in the majority (about 65%) so they have the upper hand. The Sunnis are divided into Kurds 20% and Sunni Arabs 15%. If the Sunnis win, Iran will not be happy. Iran is mostly Shi'ite. If the Shi'ites prevail, Saudi Arabia may rethink its neutral stance. The Saudis are predominately Sunni.
If you are getting a headache trying to figure this stuff out than imagine the migraine that George W. Bush must have. Prior to becoming President, he thought that Yemen was something you said at the end of a prayer. (Sorry) Now his entire legacy is wrapped up in a war of his own making. I suspect that he has had some exceedingly harsh words for his VP. At some point he might actually utter them while Cheney is in the room.
In the meantime Vice President Cheney moves from nasty interview to nasty interview. He doesn't even make an effort to hide his contempt. Why should he? His legacy is already secure. Have you seen the share price of Halliburton lately?
This is not exactly the revelation of the age. Cheney is a much older hand than the President. It appears likely that the Republican plan all along was to elect someone, anyone, who would allow Cheney, Rumsfeld and the boys to dictate foreign policy. John McCain wasn't about to be steam-rolled by these guys which is why he was torpedoed in South Carolina in 2000. George W. was barely able to stand up to Al Gore and John Kerry. How do you imagine he fared at a meeting with his father's former advisers? He's lucky they didn't offer him a phonebook to sit on. Even Colin Powell says he thought of George as Skippy.
Well, it's now 2007. We have been at war for almost five years. 3,000+ Americans are dead and thousands more are coming home in one boot or with one sleeve pinned at the shoulder. The President has made two speeches in the last few weeks in which he virtually pleaded with the American people to give him just one more opportunity to fix Iraq. Congress is about to test the boundaries of the War Powers Clauses of the Constitution. Thank God Rumsfeld and Wolfowicz are out of the picture. Karl Rove has taken his magic wand to the shop to discover why it failed in the 2006 elections. One adviser remains. The man who not only orchestrated the invasion of Iraq but provided his own company as the agents for what came after: Vice President Dick Cheney.
Dick Cheney who couldn't be bothered to serve his country during Vietnam, citing "other priorities".
Dick Cheney who gave us such memorable quotes as, "We will be greeted as liberators" and "We know that he (Saddam Hussein) is devoted to acquiring nuclear weapons and we believe that he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons."
Dick Cheney who, now that his lesbian daughter is pregnant, resents any mention of the subject and refuses to comment on the anti-gay rhetoric that got he and George elected.
Your first clue as to the VP's importance should have been when, immediately after 9/11, it was he who was removed to a secure location. Even then, the Secret Service knew who was calling the shots.
Now that even the President admits that the war is a mess, Vice President Cheney is having none of it. In a contentious interview with Wolf Blitzer on Wednesday, Mr. Cheney refuses to acknowledge that there is anything amiss in the Middle East. He is not especially interested in the opinion of Congress ( and by extension the American people) regarding the conduct of the war. According to him, all dissent is virtual treason, giving aid and comfort to the enemy. One gets the unmistakable feeling that Dick Cheney knows he's right and he would really appreciate it if the rest of us, 300 million Americans, would just stop whining and let him run the world.
Mr. Cheney rails that we have had "enormous successes" in Iraq. (Naturally, this string of victories is going totally unreported by the liberal media). The facts , however would tend to support a contrary position. If you accept that our only objective was the elimination of Saddam Hussein than one would have to agree: Mission Accomplished. However, virtually all of the American combat deaths have occurred since Saddam ran for his spider-hole. If we are having such success, why does the President need 21,500 additional troops just to attempt to pacify the capital? We could have committed a much larger force at the beginning but, in spite of the concerns of America's generals, less than 125,000 troops were committed.
The administration didn't have to look far to learn what would probably happen in Iraq after Saddam. Shortly after the Iron Curtain fell, Yugoslavia was plunged into a terrible civil war. The country had been an uneasy collection of partisan factions kept in check by a strong, if oppressive, central government. Once that government (and its troops) were gone, neighbors began shooting at each other. After more than 100,000 people were killed a truce was brokered and it's still holding. By that reckoning Iraq still has about 40,000 more casualties to absorb.
Mr. Cheney is a little fuzzy on exactly who our enemies are. All Iraqis are either Shi'ites or Sunni. Both have guns. Both are determined to run the country. The Shi'ites are in the majority (about 65%) so they have the upper hand. The Sunnis are divided into Kurds 20% and Sunni Arabs 15%. If the Sunnis win, Iran will not be happy. Iran is mostly Shi'ite. If the Shi'ites prevail, Saudi Arabia may rethink its neutral stance. The Saudis are predominately Sunni.
If you are getting a headache trying to figure this stuff out than imagine the migraine that George W. Bush must have. Prior to becoming President, he thought that Yemen was something you said at the end of a prayer. (Sorry) Now his entire legacy is wrapped up in a war of his own making. I suspect that he has had some exceedingly harsh words for his VP. At some point he might actually utter them while Cheney is in the room.
In the meantime Vice President Cheney moves from nasty interview to nasty interview. He doesn't even make an effort to hide his contempt. Why should he? His legacy is already secure. Have you seen the share price of Halliburton lately?
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
...or does the Commander in Chief need to be spanked?
Exactly what's it going to take? The American people went to the polls in November of 2006 and voted overwhelmingly to end our involvement in Iraq. The President's popularity rating is approaching single digits (that's OJ territory). The decorum at the Republican caucus resembles the trading floor of the Chicago Board of Trade. Barney, the White House terrier, has jumped ship and Laura Bush is wearing a "Hil in '08" button pinned to her bra. George W. Bush is adding new meaning to the term "lame duck". He couldn't get elected dog-catcher in Crawford, Texas if he were running against Terrell Owens.
The President had the ideal opportunity to steer the country out of this mine field using the report from the Iraq Study Group as a map. This non-partisan report (the co-chairs are Lee Hamilton, Democrat, and Jim Baker, Republican) offered the administration several ways to save face while beginning to pull the U.S. out of disaster. Unfortunately, before you can act on a document you have to actually read it, and that has always been one of George's shortcomings.
So instead of trying to find some way, any way, to undue the damage in the Middle East without further destabilizing the region, (assuming that's even possible), our President is sending 21,500 additional troops into Baghdad. To quote the Guinness Bros. - Brilliant! The speech that announced this "new plan" contained more fudge than the out-house at the Keebler cookie tree. "If" this, "unless" that. What in the name of Barack Obama will it take to get this President to stop eye-balling his sphincter and address the real issues in Iraq?
However, lest we assume that the Commander in Chief is spending all of his time watching the NASCAR channel, George was quoted recently as expressing disappointment regarding one aspect of the crisis in the Middle East. George was put out about the way the executions of Saddam and two of his ministers were carried out. Apparently one of the President's aides, presumably someone close to George who isn't a member of AARP, downloaded the file from YouTube.
Now this is an area where George W. Bush can speak with considerable knowledge. He may not be able to find China on a map of Asia, or pronounce "nuclear", but when it comes to state sponsored killing, this man knows his onions.
During George's six years as the Governor of Texas, he signed 152 death warrants. That represents 40% of all the executions in Texas since 1976 (381). Texas is catching up to Virginia in the execution race, and Virginia had a 237 year head start! (Statistics are compiled since 1608 and Texas became a state in 1845.) When it comes to throwing the switch, GWB is the "the MAN".
The President allowed that the executions of Saddam and two of his senior lackeys were handled "poorly". In the presidential spirit of "I did not inhale", Mr. Bush said that he didn't watch the entire clip of Hussein's death. Anyone who believes this crock believes that the WMD are still out there in a Bagdhad 7-11. Imagine how George really saw the last earthly moments of Saddam Hussein...
I envision a small, tasteful gathering of the Bush cabal in a basement room at the White House. In attendance are the usual suspects: Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Don Rumsfeld, and a few other members of the real axis of evil. The White House tech team has hooked-up a 60-inch plasma to George's secretary's laptop and the White House kitchen has provided pizza and a keg of Coors. When the guards begin to taunt Saddam on the gallows, the gang at 1600 Pennsylvania start yelling at the screen, "Where's your republican guard now Saddam?" and "that's what happens when you try to assassinate my Dad!" When they release the trap door, Rove yells, "Oh! That's going to leave a mark." Rumsfeld wonders aloud why they didn't all go over and watch in person. Someone gently reminds Don that he'd have to fly commercial ...and in coach. Everyone laughs.
However it went down, it's nice to know that at least one death in Iraq wasn't ignored by the President. I'm guessing that he didn't attend Saddam's funeral, but then 3,052 Americans are dead in Iraq and the Commander in Chief hasn't attended any of those services either. He's just been too busy mapping "The Way Forward".
The President had the ideal opportunity to steer the country out of this mine field using the report from the Iraq Study Group as a map. This non-partisan report (the co-chairs are Lee Hamilton, Democrat, and Jim Baker, Republican) offered the administration several ways to save face while beginning to pull the U.S. out of disaster. Unfortunately, before you can act on a document you have to actually read it, and that has always been one of George's shortcomings.
So instead of trying to find some way, any way, to undue the damage in the Middle East without further destabilizing the region, (assuming that's even possible), our President is sending 21,500 additional troops into Baghdad. To quote the Guinness Bros. - Brilliant! The speech that announced this "new plan" contained more fudge than the out-house at the Keebler cookie tree. "If" this, "unless" that. What in the name of Barack Obama will it take to get this President to stop eye-balling his sphincter and address the real issues in Iraq?
However, lest we assume that the Commander in Chief is spending all of his time watching the NASCAR channel, George was quoted recently as expressing disappointment regarding one aspect of the crisis in the Middle East. George was put out about the way the executions of Saddam and two of his ministers were carried out. Apparently one of the President's aides, presumably someone close to George who isn't a member of AARP, downloaded the file from YouTube.
Now this is an area where George W. Bush can speak with considerable knowledge. He may not be able to find China on a map of Asia, or pronounce "nuclear", but when it comes to state sponsored killing, this man knows his onions.
During George's six years as the Governor of Texas, he signed 152 death warrants. That represents 40% of all the executions in Texas since 1976 (381). Texas is catching up to Virginia in the execution race, and Virginia had a 237 year head start! (Statistics are compiled since 1608 and Texas became a state in 1845.) When it comes to throwing the switch, GWB is the "the MAN".
The President allowed that the executions of Saddam and two of his senior lackeys were handled "poorly". In the presidential spirit of "I did not inhale", Mr. Bush said that he didn't watch the entire clip of Hussein's death. Anyone who believes this crock believes that the WMD are still out there in a Bagdhad 7-11. Imagine how George really saw the last earthly moments of Saddam Hussein...
I envision a small, tasteful gathering of the Bush cabal in a basement room at the White House. In attendance are the usual suspects: Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Don Rumsfeld, and a few other members of the real axis of evil. The White House tech team has hooked-up a 60-inch plasma to George's secretary's laptop and the White House kitchen has provided pizza and a keg of Coors. When the guards begin to taunt Saddam on the gallows, the gang at 1600 Pennsylvania start yelling at the screen, "Where's your republican guard now Saddam?" and "that's what happens when you try to assassinate my Dad!" When they release the trap door, Rove yells, "Oh! That's going to leave a mark." Rumsfeld wonders aloud why they didn't all go over and watch in person. Someone gently reminds Don that he'd have to fly commercial ...and in coach. Everyone laughs.
However it went down, it's nice to know that at least one death in Iraq wasn't ignored by the President. I'm guessing that he didn't attend Saddam's funeral, but then 3,052 Americans are dead in Iraq and the Commander in Chief hasn't attended any of those services either. He's just been too busy mapping "The Way Forward".
Monday, January 15, 2007
or does more good stuff happen on Holidays?
More news you can't use:
Item
Sen. Barbara Boxer of California has been severely criticized by conservatives for alerting Condoleezza Rice to the fact that she, Ms. Rice, has no children. This must have come as a great shock to Condi who probably couldn't understand why she wasn't required to buy 50 bars of school candy every year.
The issue arose at a Senate hearing when Sen. Boxer reminded Ms. Rice that she wasn't sending her own children to Iraq. Condi allowed that although she has suffered no personal loss, she understood the pain of losing a loved one in combat because she had "spoken to the families of those who had". She also stated that, having spent eight hours watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, she now knew what it was like to live in Middle Earth.
One can only imagine the uproar that will ensue should someone from the Democratic side of the aisle inform the Secretary of State that she is black.
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In a related story, First Lady Laura Bush proved once again the importance of silence. Ms. Bush was quoted as saying that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice won't run for President because she is unmarried and childless. Thank you, Laura. It's hard to imagine how George W. could have managed such a successful Presidency without twin daughters jet-setting around the world with secret service agents fetching their Cuba Libras.
The Bush family causes one to revisit that old conundrum; does one clueless person know more or less than two or more clueless people?
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Item:
The tour guides at the Grand Canyon have been instructed not to impart specific information on the age of the canyon for fear of offending Christian creationist tourists. You can't make this stuff up.
It appears that guides at the Redwood National Forest are permitted to discuss the ages of the giant redwoods as long as they remind tourists that, "only God can make a tree".
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President George W. Bush was quoted recently as saying that he would continue his policies in Iraq even if the only ones to agree with him were his wife and his dog. Today, the White House Press Office released a statement from Barney, the Presidential Scottish Terrier stating that he can no longer support the President's mindless foreign policy. "There's only one person chasing his tail in this house and it isn't me" said Barney.
According to Barney's official web site (yes, the dog has a web site) "even a Labrador Retriever couldn't support this disaster... and they'll go along with anything".
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Item
"Stomp the Yard" was the #1 grossing film at the box office this weekend. This event should pretty much shatter your notion that you have any idea of what's happening in the world today. Even if any of you have heard of the film (be honest) you will be forced to admit that nothing short of a military escort could get you into a theater to see it.
It helps to think of Stomp as a hip-hop West Side Story. An extremely unlikely plot is the framework for filming 90 minutes of some very athletic dancing. Instead of the mean streets of New York, substitute a college campus. Forget the Sharks and the Jets. These gangs are fraternities who compete in a sort of intramural dance fest. (Did I mention that the plot was unlikely?)
If you're not exactly queuing up at the multiplex to see Stomp, don't despair. There is another film where a mostly black cast dances their way into your hearts. It's called Happy Feet.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Repubilcan Grop-a-nator Governor of California, has proposed a plan for universl health care for all the citizens of the state. This would be the same Governor who recently demanded that California adopt stricter clean air standards and who favors some form of gun control and a woman's right to chose. Where I come from we have a name for a guy like that... we call them Democrats. Arnold has even begun to distance himself from George W. Bush. (What a traffic jam that must be! Think the evacuation of New Orleans.) When asked if he is still a "George Bush Republican" Arnold performed the finest political two-step since George Murphy was in the Senate.
If this is what is passing for a Republican these days, I may be the first in line to repeal Article II of the Constitution. (Look it up.)
Item
Sen. Barbara Boxer of California has been severely criticized by conservatives for alerting Condoleezza Rice to the fact that she, Ms. Rice, has no children. This must have come as a great shock to Condi who probably couldn't understand why she wasn't required to buy 50 bars of school candy every year.
The issue arose at a Senate hearing when Sen. Boxer reminded Ms. Rice that she wasn't sending her own children to Iraq. Condi allowed that although she has suffered no personal loss, she understood the pain of losing a loved one in combat because she had "spoken to the families of those who had". She also stated that, having spent eight hours watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, she now knew what it was like to live in Middle Earth.
One can only imagine the uproar that will ensue should someone from the Democratic side of the aisle inform the Secretary of State that she is black.
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In a related story, First Lady Laura Bush proved once again the importance of silence. Ms. Bush was quoted as saying that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice won't run for President because she is unmarried and childless. Thank you, Laura. It's hard to imagine how George W. could have managed such a successful Presidency without twin daughters jet-setting around the world with secret service agents fetching their Cuba Libras.
The Bush family causes one to revisit that old conundrum; does one clueless person know more or less than two or more clueless people?
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Item:
The tour guides at the Grand Canyon have been instructed not to impart specific information on the age of the canyon for fear of offending Christian creationist tourists. You can't make this stuff up.
It appears that guides at the Redwood National Forest are permitted to discuss the ages of the giant redwoods as long as they remind tourists that, "only God can make a tree".
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President George W. Bush was quoted recently as saying that he would continue his policies in Iraq even if the only ones to agree with him were his wife and his dog. Today, the White House Press Office released a statement from Barney, the Presidential Scottish Terrier stating that he can no longer support the President's mindless foreign policy. "There's only one person chasing his tail in this house and it isn't me" said Barney.
According to Barney's official web site (yes, the dog has a web site) "even a Labrador Retriever couldn't support this disaster... and they'll go along with anything".
____________________________________________________________________
Item
"Stomp the Yard" was the #1 grossing film at the box office this weekend. This event should pretty much shatter your notion that you have any idea of what's happening in the world today. Even if any of you have heard of the film (be honest) you will be forced to admit that nothing short of a military escort could get you into a theater to see it.
It helps to think of Stomp as a hip-hop West Side Story. An extremely unlikely plot is the framework for filming 90 minutes of some very athletic dancing. Instead of the mean streets of New York, substitute a college campus. Forget the Sharks and the Jets. These gangs are fraternities who compete in a sort of intramural dance fest. (Did I mention that the plot was unlikely?)
If you're not exactly queuing up at the multiplex to see Stomp, don't despair. There is another film where a mostly black cast dances their way into your hearts. It's called Happy Feet.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Repubilcan Grop-a-nator Governor of California, has proposed a plan for universl health care for all the citizens of the state. This would be the same Governor who recently demanded that California adopt stricter clean air standards and who favors some form of gun control and a woman's right to chose. Where I come from we have a name for a guy like that... we call them Democrats. Arnold has even begun to distance himself from George W. Bush. (What a traffic jam that must be! Think the evacuation of New Orleans.) When asked if he is still a "George Bush Republican" Arnold performed the finest political two-step since George Murphy was in the Senate.
If this is what is passing for a Republican these days, I may be the first in line to repeal Article II of the Constitution. (Look it up.)
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
...or are there still stories getting past us?
News and Views:
Item
Fresh from his brilliant victories in Afghanastan and Iraq, George W. Bush has sent American AC-130 attack helicopters into Somalia. Having successfully rid the Middle East of the terrorist threat, this attack was intended to destroy the few scattered al-Qaida bases in East Africa.
This assault is the first in the President's new global initiative to combat terrorism. Code-named "Attack Any Nation That Can't Possibly Respond" Mr. Bush said that countries such as Togo, Nauru, Benin and Tuvalu had better not be discovered hiding terrorists. Al-Qaida officials, currently attending their annual meeting at the Frankfurt Convention Center, were unavailable for comment.
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The Vatican has accepted the resignation of Bishop Stanislaw Wielgus, Archbishop of Warsaw, who is accused of collaborating with the Polish secret police during the bad old days of Soviet domination. Thusfar, the only details are from the Archbishop himself. He stated that, in order to obtain permission to travel abroad, he was required to observe and report back to the Polish police anything he heard or saw. Archbishop Wielgus said that he never told them anything.
Is the Catholic Church so flush with qualified candidates for important bishoprics that it can afford to cashier someone for not informing? Didn't the American CIA request that journalists in communist countries do the same thing back in the '50's? Either there's more to this story that the CC doesn't want out, or Archbishop Wielgus is being punished for a thirty year old transgression.
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This week is the Detroit Auto Show and I have a question. Every year American car companies make a big deal of showing us their "concept cars". So why is it that, year after year, showrooms are loaded with the same old boring, unreliable, gas guzzlers? It's not your father's Oldsmobile. It's your grandfather's Oldsmobile. Hey! Mr. Ford, I have a concept for you. How's about you actually build and sell one of those concept cars. What could it hurt? Nobody's buying the stuff you're making now!
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Item
Tony Guinn and Cal Ripkin have been elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. In a related story, Mark McGuire, famed home run hitter of the 90's, was denied induction amid alligations of steroid use. A spokesperson for the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY said that the directors of the facility were grateful that Mr. McGuire's induction would be delayed in that the Steriod Wing of the building is not yet complete.
Designed to house the busts of Mr. Mcguire, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds and Raphal Palmeiro the new space is equipped with a four-story ceiling and double-wide doors. Fun house-type mirrors will be available so that kids can see what they will look like when they begin to use the "Bobby Bonds Vitamin Supplements" available in the gift shop. A copy of Jose Conseco's book, "Juiced" will be available for all visitors.
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Item
Tony Snow, White House Press Secretary, was hard at work yesterday trying to make some sort of lemonade out of the lemons served up by the administration. Watching Mr. Snow present coherent, well-articulated reasons as to why the current administration acts as it does, a light went on. Why don't we make Tony Snow the President? At least Secretary of Defense?
Hear me out. He seems to have a better grasp on what George is doing than George does. He's certainly more capable of explaining it. He uses multisyllabic words and he never screws them up. He's better looking and has way better hair.
Actually, if Tony took over today and they locked George in a foot locker in an "undisclosed location", no one would know 'til next Christmas when he didn't show up to light the tree.
Just a thought!
Item
Fresh from his brilliant victories in Afghanastan and Iraq, George W. Bush has sent American AC-130 attack helicopters into Somalia. Having successfully rid the Middle East of the terrorist threat, this attack was intended to destroy the few scattered al-Qaida bases in East Africa.
This assault is the first in the President's new global initiative to combat terrorism. Code-named "Attack Any Nation That Can't Possibly Respond" Mr. Bush said that countries such as Togo, Nauru, Benin and Tuvalu had better not be discovered hiding terrorists. Al-Qaida officials, currently attending their annual meeting at the Frankfurt Convention Center, were unavailable for comment.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The Vatican has accepted the resignation of Bishop Stanislaw Wielgus, Archbishop of Warsaw, who is accused of collaborating with the Polish secret police during the bad old days of Soviet domination. Thusfar, the only details are from the Archbishop himself. He stated that, in order to obtain permission to travel abroad, he was required to observe and report back to the Polish police anything he heard or saw. Archbishop Wielgus said that he never told them anything.
Is the Catholic Church so flush with qualified candidates for important bishoprics that it can afford to cashier someone for not informing? Didn't the American CIA request that journalists in communist countries do the same thing back in the '50's? Either there's more to this story that the CC doesn't want out, or Archbishop Wielgus is being punished for a thirty year old transgression.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
This week is the Detroit Auto Show and I have a question. Every year American car companies make a big deal of showing us their "concept cars". So why is it that, year after year, showrooms are loaded with the same old boring, unreliable, gas guzzlers? It's not your father's Oldsmobile. It's your grandfather's Oldsmobile. Hey! Mr. Ford, I have a concept for you. How's about you actually build and sell one of those concept cars. What could it hurt? Nobody's buying the stuff you're making now!
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Tony Guinn and Cal Ripkin have been elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. In a related story, Mark McGuire, famed home run hitter of the 90's, was denied induction amid alligations of steroid use. A spokesperson for the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, NY said that the directors of the facility were grateful that Mr. McGuire's induction would be delayed in that the Steriod Wing of the building is not yet complete.
Designed to house the busts of Mr. Mcguire, Sammy Sosa, Barry Bonds and Raphal Palmeiro the new space is equipped with a four-story ceiling and double-wide doors. Fun house-type mirrors will be available so that kids can see what they will look like when they begin to use the "Bobby Bonds Vitamin Supplements" available in the gift shop. A copy of Jose Conseco's book, "Juiced" will be available for all visitors.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Tony Snow, White House Press Secretary, was hard at work yesterday trying to make some sort of lemonade out of the lemons served up by the administration. Watching Mr. Snow present coherent, well-articulated reasons as to why the current administration acts as it does, a light went on. Why don't we make Tony Snow the President? At least Secretary of Defense?
Hear me out. He seems to have a better grasp on what George is doing than George does. He's certainly more capable of explaining it. He uses multisyllabic words and he never screws them up. He's better looking and has way better hair.
Actually, if Tony took over today and they locked George in a foot locker in an "undisclosed location", no one would know 'til next Christmas when he didn't show up to light the tree.
Just a thought!
Monday, January 08, 2007
...is George W. Bush still reading from the Nixon playbook?
One thing you can say for Richard Nixon; at least he didn't start theVietnam War. He just took an impossibly long time to get us out. George W. has no such excuse. He had months to plan. He had a year and a half to gather intelligence. He had an entire wing of the State Department to advise and counsel as to what might happen if we removed Saddam. He had generals, good generals, telling him what US ground forces might expect in the way of resistance. George had the one thing Nixon never had: he had time to evaluate the situation before committing the country to fight.
Interestingly, Nixon's generals told him that victory was just around the corner. All we needed to do was send in more troops (at its height there were 500,000 men in Vietnam), invade Cambodia, put mines in Haiphong harbor, and use saturation bombing (the 1970's version of Shock and Awe). Nixon did it all and still we lost.
George W. Bush is being told by his military commanders (just before he fires them) that victory isn't going to happen... ever.
Nevertheless, on Wednesday of this week, we will be treated to the newest, latest, greatest, can't-miss plan for not losing a war that we never should have started in the first place. I am breathless with anticipation.
As captain of this particular Titanic, President Bush has skillfully navigated the ship of state from one iceberg to the next. In case you haven't been keeping score, allow me to introduce you to the "deck chairs":
Out: Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of State (Rumy, you did a hell of a job!)
Out: Army General John Abizaid, Middle East Commander
In: Army Lt General David Petraeus, Commander US forces, Iraq
Moved: Army General George Casey, from Commander US Forces Iraq to Army Chief of Staff. This is apparently Gen. Casey's reward for never mentioning to the emperor that he's naked.
Moved: Zalmay Khalilzad from ambassador to Iraq to ambassador to the United Nations.
Moved: Ryan Crocker from ambassador to Pakistan to ambassador to Iraq (you got to wonder who's wife he got caught sleeping with) .
And, in a move certain to send shock waves throughout the world, Harriet Miers is leaving as White House counsel. You may remember Ms. Miers as the single most bizarre candidate for the Supreme Court since Nixon nominated a guy from the Klan.
Memo to the President: you can change the wallpaper in the cabinet room if you want but it will not solve the problem. Leadership (except for you, Cheney and Rumsfeld) was never the problem. The problem is that, in your own lovable, blockheaded, arrogant way you ignored anyone who happened to mentioned that invading Iraq was a terrible idea. Sometime during the glorious days following your election, you forgot that you know nothing about the world beyond the Skull and Bones secret headquarters.
Mr. President, as long as you are following in the path of Dick Nixon, why not do what he did... declare that our work here is done...pull the troops out...then resign
Interestingly, Nixon's generals told him that victory was just around the corner. All we needed to do was send in more troops (at its height there were 500,000 men in Vietnam), invade Cambodia, put mines in Haiphong harbor, and use saturation bombing (the 1970's version of Shock and Awe). Nixon did it all and still we lost.
George W. Bush is being told by his military commanders (just before he fires them) that victory isn't going to happen... ever.
Nevertheless, on Wednesday of this week, we will be treated to the newest, latest, greatest, can't-miss plan for not losing a war that we never should have started in the first place. I am breathless with anticipation.
As captain of this particular Titanic, President Bush has skillfully navigated the ship of state from one iceberg to the next. In case you haven't been keeping score, allow me to introduce you to the "deck chairs":
Out: Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of State (Rumy, you did a hell of a job!)
Out: Army General John Abizaid, Middle East Commander
In: Army Lt General David Petraeus, Commander US forces, Iraq
Moved: Army General George Casey, from Commander US Forces Iraq to Army Chief of Staff. This is apparently Gen. Casey's reward for never mentioning to the emperor that he's naked.
Moved: Zalmay Khalilzad from ambassador to Iraq to ambassador to the United Nations.
Moved: Ryan Crocker from ambassador to Pakistan to ambassador to Iraq (you got to wonder who's wife he got caught sleeping with) .
And, in a move certain to send shock waves throughout the world, Harriet Miers is leaving as White House counsel. You may remember Ms. Miers as the single most bizarre candidate for the Supreme Court since Nixon nominated a guy from the Klan.
Memo to the President: you can change the wallpaper in the cabinet room if you want but it will not solve the problem. Leadership (except for you, Cheney and Rumsfeld) was never the problem. The problem is that, in your own lovable, blockheaded, arrogant way you ignored anyone who happened to mentioned that invading Iraq was a terrible idea. Sometime during the glorious days following your election, you forgot that you know nothing about the world beyond the Skull and Bones secret headquarters.
Mr. President, as long as you are following in the path of Dick Nixon, why not do what he did... declare that our work here is done...pull the troops out...then resign
Friday, January 05, 2007
...or is lynching still alive and well in North Carolina?
They don't use ropes anymore. Too messy. Now-a-days it's done with malicious prosecution. This time they picked a different minority: rich, white kids.
By now everyone but the hopelessly clueless (that includes 2,000 people in comas and the residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.) knows the story. On March 14, 2006 the Duke University lacrosse team held a party in the rented home of several of the players. Two local women were hired to "entertain". (For the first few months of this story the women were referred to as students. Lately they are being called strippers.) The stories as to what happened vary slightly but the end result was charges of rape, kidnapping and sexual assault filed against three students: Reade Siligmann, Colin Finnerty and David Evans. All three were at the party at some point and all are lacrosse players. It is becoming increasing clear that being at the party and being lacrosse players were the only "crimes" committed.
The woman who made the accusation has changed her story more often than George Bush explaining WMDs. Her companion can't back up a single piece of the victim's version of events beyond the fact that both women were drinking before they arrived.
Some things are clear. The accuser was blind drunk. She had had sex with someone earlier that day but no DNA evidence exists to support any rape charge. One of the accused Duke students can prove that he wasn't anyone near the party when the attack supposedly occurred. A photo array was shown to the "victim" and she identified our heroes. Unfortunately, all of the people in the photos were at the party at some time. That's like being asked to identify a priest and being shown pictures of six men in Roman collars. This mess doesn't even rise to the level of, "he said, she said".
But wait! A few additional facts need to be mentioned. The Duke lacrosse players are white. The student/strippers are black. The population of Durham County is 40% black. The population of the city of Durham is 44% black.
Enter Mike Nifong, District Attorney for Durham County. Nifong is a career prosecutor who was appointed to the job of DA when his predecessor was appointed to the bench. His first election challenge was on May 2 when he faced serious primary opposition from two other Democrats. Mr Nifong reasoned that the good people of his county would hold it against him on election day if he went soft on these rich , out-of-state white kids. Having counted noses prior to the election he determined that many more of the noses were black than white.
Nifong was getting a lot of heat. Rev. Jesse Jackson offered to pay for the educations of the girls involved from the coffers of the Rainbow Coalition. (The Rev. Jackson has considerable experience paying for "scholarships" from Coalition funds, mostly to his illegitimate offspring and their mothers.)
Nifong won the primary (in Durham that's tantamount to winning the general election). Our DA now has the sticky problem of explaining to the courts, the public and some very expensive legal talent representing the boys, what evidence prompted him to file charges in the first place. Even a video of the party failed to reveal any evidence of a crime...beyond a truly bad choice of entertainment options.
The three lads from Duke have actually managed to spin themselves into victims; no mean feat for white kids accused of sexually assaulting two black "students". In a piece on "60 minutes" the camera loved them. They came across as earnest, credible and most importantly innocent. The accuser, as yet unidentified, has made enough conflicting statements to earn herself the Twanda Brawley Award.(By the way, Rev. Al Sharpton, famous for his cartoonish defense of Ms. Brawley in 1987, is sitting this one out.)
Well, if DA Nifong thought the pressure was intense when this mess got started he must be squeezed into a diamond by now. The heat is being applied by everyone in North Carolina that owns a law degree and a phone. The North Carolina Bar has filed ethics charges against Mr. Nifong. The US Attorney General is considering examining how the way the case has been handled to determine if anyone's civil rights were violated. The Justice Dept. is recommending that all complainants, defendants and witnesses be Renditioned to Guantanamo for questioning. (Considering Mr. Gonzales' civil rights record, the Duke boys would be better off with help from Rev. Sharpton.)
Anyway the rape charges have been dropped and the rest of the case is falling apart as we speak. Mr. Nifong has made so many bad decisions that he appears to have no way to extricate himself. But hey, I know a guy who owns a ranch in Crawford, Tx with whom he can commiserate. Perhaps they can collaborate on a book called, "Administering the Public Trust For Dummies...by Dummies".
By now everyone but the hopelessly clueless (that includes 2,000 people in comas and the residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.) knows the story. On March 14, 2006 the Duke University lacrosse team held a party in the rented home of several of the players. Two local women were hired to "entertain". (For the first few months of this story the women were referred to as students. Lately they are being called strippers.) The stories as to what happened vary slightly but the end result was charges of rape, kidnapping and sexual assault filed against three students: Reade Siligmann, Colin Finnerty and David Evans. All three were at the party at some point and all are lacrosse players. It is becoming increasing clear that being at the party and being lacrosse players were the only "crimes" committed.
The woman who made the accusation has changed her story more often than George Bush explaining WMDs. Her companion can't back up a single piece of the victim's version of events beyond the fact that both women were drinking before they arrived.
Some things are clear. The accuser was blind drunk. She had had sex with someone earlier that day but no DNA evidence exists to support any rape charge. One of the accused Duke students can prove that he wasn't anyone near the party when the attack supposedly occurred. A photo array was shown to the "victim" and she identified our heroes. Unfortunately, all of the people in the photos were at the party at some time. That's like being asked to identify a priest and being shown pictures of six men in Roman collars. This mess doesn't even rise to the level of, "he said, she said".
But wait! A few additional facts need to be mentioned. The Duke lacrosse players are white. The student/strippers are black. The population of Durham County is 40% black. The population of the city of Durham is 44% black.
Enter Mike Nifong, District Attorney for Durham County. Nifong is a career prosecutor who was appointed to the job of DA when his predecessor was appointed to the bench. His first election challenge was on May 2 when he faced serious primary opposition from two other Democrats. Mr Nifong reasoned that the good people of his county would hold it against him on election day if he went soft on these rich , out-of-state white kids. Having counted noses prior to the election he determined that many more of the noses were black than white.
Nifong was getting a lot of heat. Rev. Jesse Jackson offered to pay for the educations of the girls involved from the coffers of the Rainbow Coalition. (The Rev. Jackson has considerable experience paying for "scholarships" from Coalition funds, mostly to his illegitimate offspring and their mothers.)
Nifong won the primary (in Durham that's tantamount to winning the general election). Our DA now has the sticky problem of explaining to the courts, the public and some very expensive legal talent representing the boys, what evidence prompted him to file charges in the first place. Even a video of the party failed to reveal any evidence of a crime...beyond a truly bad choice of entertainment options.
The three lads from Duke have actually managed to spin themselves into victims; no mean feat for white kids accused of sexually assaulting two black "students". In a piece on "60 minutes" the camera loved them. They came across as earnest, credible and most importantly innocent. The accuser, as yet unidentified, has made enough conflicting statements to earn herself the Twanda Brawley Award.(By the way, Rev. Al Sharpton, famous for his cartoonish defense of Ms. Brawley in 1987, is sitting this one out.)
Well, if DA Nifong thought the pressure was intense when this mess got started he must be squeezed into a diamond by now. The heat is being applied by everyone in North Carolina that owns a law degree and a phone. The North Carolina Bar has filed ethics charges against Mr. Nifong. The US Attorney General is considering examining how the way the case has been handled to determine if anyone's civil rights were violated. The Justice Dept. is recommending that all complainants, defendants and witnesses be Renditioned to Guantanamo for questioning. (Considering Mr. Gonzales' civil rights record, the Duke boys would be better off with help from Rev. Sharpton.)
Anyway the rape charges have been dropped and the rest of the case is falling apart as we speak. Mr. Nifong has made so many bad decisions that he appears to have no way to extricate himself. But hey, I know a guy who owns a ranch in Crawford, Tx with whom he can commiserate. Perhaps they can collaborate on a book called, "Administering the Public Trust For Dummies...by Dummies".
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
...or should The Wall Street Journal at least make George W. Bush pay for his own ink?
The January 3rd issue of The Wall Street Journal carried an op-edit piece allegedly penned by the current occupant of the White House. In fairness, I am inclined to believe George actually did write most of the article in that no one else could be this clueless. Seriously, if this President were any more tone-deaf, he could appear on American Idol. If you haven't read the piece, you can find it on "whatplanetisthisguyon.com."
According to George, none of the disasters of the past six years were his fault. Well, that's a relief! There is no mention anywhere of the catastrophic loss of life in Iraq. No discussion of the lies that were perpetrated to persuade America to support the invasion. No hint of the four years of misdirection, miscalculations, and misinformation that have spilled from this Administration. Instead we are told that we will soon be hearing the details of the "new strategy" that will enable us to win the war in Iraq. One can presume that, had the Republicans not been crushed in the 2006 mid-term elections, we would have continued with the failed policies of "Gravedigger" Don Rumsfeld and "Shotgun" Dick Cheney.
What election returns did the White House receive? The ones I saw were such a clear and decisive repudiation of the Iraq War that even Karl Rove's usual fear campaign couldn't change them. America wants out of this mess and soon. At present we are standing in the middle of a civil war and providing 125,000 targets for both sides. We should never have gone in, we shouldn't be there now, and we need to get out as quickly as possible. Period.
Instead of at least considering that he might have misread the situation, the President had the colossal nerve to once again equate the invasion of Iraq with 9/11. Jesus, George, even you gave up trying to stitch those issues together in a speech last summer. He is even trying to take credit for the Patriot Act; the single most vile piece of legislation since Lincoln suspended habeas corpus.
One chord that George did hear from the November returns was that Americans want Congress to stop dropping "earmarks" into bills just before they are about to be passed. Never mind that most of the country had never even heard of earmarks before Rep. Jeff Flake went on 60 Minutes.
You were close, George. What the people said was that they wanted an end to the cozy arrangement between lobbyists like Jack Abramoff and Republicans like Tom Delay. They would also appreciate it if Rep. Jefferson of Louisiana would keep his bribe money in an off-shore account rather than an on-shore Frigidaire.
Anyway, to hear the President tell it, all the problems are up the street under the Capital Dome. After all, Congress passes all of the laws. But wait! Doesn't the President have to sign every piece of earmark-filled legislation? If I remember those Saturday morning cartoons, that's how it works. So how about you actually read some of the dreck that you sign, George?
In closing, Mr. Bush stands opposed to Congress passing bills that are "simply political statements." Funny how that issue was never raised when the Republicans had the House and Senate. Note to George: the increase in the minimum wage is not a political statement. Federal funding for stem cell research is not a political statement. A proposed dead-on-arrival constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a women? Now that's a political statement.
Seriously folks, if this load of horse-droppings makes its way to the new Presidential Library on the Southern Methodist University campus, it will need to be transported in a hazardous material carrier. At least Nixon had the good grace to only share his ramblings with the White House portraiture.
As Mr. Bush was delivering the eulogy of Gerald Ford on Tuesday, you could almost see the spirit of the 38th President in the National Cathedral listening to this President waxing on about Ford's humility and honesty...and holding his nose.
According to George, none of the disasters of the past six years were his fault. Well, that's a relief! There is no mention anywhere of the catastrophic loss of life in Iraq. No discussion of the lies that were perpetrated to persuade America to support the invasion. No hint of the four years of misdirection, miscalculations, and misinformation that have spilled from this Administration. Instead we are told that we will soon be hearing the details of the "new strategy" that will enable us to win the war in Iraq. One can presume that, had the Republicans not been crushed in the 2006 mid-term elections, we would have continued with the failed policies of "Gravedigger" Don Rumsfeld and "Shotgun" Dick Cheney.
What election returns did the White House receive? The ones I saw were such a clear and decisive repudiation of the Iraq War that even Karl Rove's usual fear campaign couldn't change them. America wants out of this mess and soon. At present we are standing in the middle of a civil war and providing 125,000 targets for both sides. We should never have gone in, we shouldn't be there now, and we need to get out as quickly as possible. Period.
Instead of at least considering that he might have misread the situation, the President had the colossal nerve to once again equate the invasion of Iraq with 9/11. Jesus, George, even you gave up trying to stitch those issues together in a speech last summer. He is even trying to take credit for the Patriot Act; the single most vile piece of legislation since Lincoln suspended habeas corpus.
One chord that George did hear from the November returns was that Americans want Congress to stop dropping "earmarks" into bills just before they are about to be passed. Never mind that most of the country had never even heard of earmarks before Rep. Jeff Flake went on 60 Minutes.
You were close, George. What the people said was that they wanted an end to the cozy arrangement between lobbyists like Jack Abramoff and Republicans like Tom Delay. They would also appreciate it if Rep. Jefferson of Louisiana would keep his bribe money in an off-shore account rather than an on-shore Frigidaire.
Anyway, to hear the President tell it, all the problems are up the street under the Capital Dome. After all, Congress passes all of the laws. But wait! Doesn't the President have to sign every piece of earmark-filled legislation? If I remember those Saturday morning cartoons, that's how it works. So how about you actually read some of the dreck that you sign, George?
In closing, Mr. Bush stands opposed to Congress passing bills that are "simply political statements." Funny how that issue was never raised when the Republicans had the House and Senate. Note to George: the increase in the minimum wage is not a political statement. Federal funding for stem cell research is not a political statement. A proposed dead-on-arrival constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a women? Now that's a political statement.
Seriously folks, if this load of horse-droppings makes its way to the new Presidential Library on the Southern Methodist University campus, it will need to be transported in a hazardous material carrier. At least Nixon had the good grace to only share his ramblings with the White House portraiture.
As Mr. Bush was delivering the eulogy of Gerald Ford on Tuesday, you could almost see the spirit of the 38th President in the National Cathedral listening to this President waxing on about Ford's humility and honesty...and holding his nose.
...is the world getting stranger?
More news you can't use:
Former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili (a man whose name is longer than his length of service) has announced that he has "changed his mind" regarding homosexuals serving openly in the military. The retired general further announced that his decision was in no way altered by his impending marriage to Marine Lt. Col. Waldo "Butch" Emerson. The two hope to wed in Massachusetts within the year.
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Five employees of a baggage-handling contractor have been charged with the theft of 158 pieces of luggage at Houston's George H.W. Bush International Airport. The thieves were allowed to retain their jobs, however, because in spite of the theft, they still lost fewer bags than the average baggage employee.
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Always good for a laugh, Pat "Nostradamus" Robertson advised his listeners that, in a personal revelation from God, there will be a terrorist attack in the U.S. in 2007 that will result in mass killing. And I thought that XM Satellite had some strange stations.
Remember it was Pat that reminded us that: God steered hurricanes away from his Virginia Beach Broadcast Center...Feminists, lesbians, gays and the American Civil Liberties Union caused Sept. 11 to happen... and, the U.S. should assassinate Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. Why God would talk to this mope is anyone's guess. Check your bridgework, Pat. There's a chance you are picking up Howard Stern with your molars. If you ever do hear from the Almighty, expect comments like "Shut up" or "Please return all the money you have collected pretending to be My voice on earth."
I guess there is balance in the universe. Black people have Al Sharpton, white people have Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.
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There is an old admonition that goes, "you could screw up a two-car funeral". To that we now add,"you could screw up a one-man hanging." The Iraqi government showed the world that, much like the current American administration, they are great on planning but shaky on execution. Considering the botched job the Iraqis made of the state-sponsored death of Saddam Hussein, it's a wonder the man is dead. All things considered, the security was pretty good. It took a whole day for the entire thing to make it to YouTube. Let's hope Bin Laden isn't captured in Takrit.
Former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili (a man whose name is longer than his length of service) has announced that he has "changed his mind" regarding homosexuals serving openly in the military. The retired general further announced that his decision was in no way altered by his impending marriage to Marine Lt. Col. Waldo "Butch" Emerson. The two hope to wed in Massachusetts within the year.
___________________________________________________________________
Five employees of a baggage-handling contractor have been charged with the theft of 158 pieces of luggage at Houston's George H.W. Bush International Airport. The thieves were allowed to retain their jobs, however, because in spite of the theft, they still lost fewer bags than the average baggage employee.
___________________________________________________________________
Always good for a laugh, Pat "Nostradamus" Robertson advised his listeners that, in a personal revelation from God, there will be a terrorist attack in the U.S. in 2007 that will result in mass killing. And I thought that XM Satellite had some strange stations.
Remember it was Pat that reminded us that: God steered hurricanes away from his Virginia Beach Broadcast Center...Feminists, lesbians, gays and the American Civil Liberties Union caused Sept. 11 to happen... and, the U.S. should assassinate Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. Why God would talk to this mope is anyone's guess. Check your bridgework, Pat. There's a chance you are picking up Howard Stern with your molars. If you ever do hear from the Almighty, expect comments like "Shut up" or "Please return all the money you have collected pretending to be My voice on earth."
I guess there is balance in the universe. Black people have Al Sharpton, white people have Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.
___________________________________________________________________
There is an old admonition that goes, "you could screw up a two-car funeral". To that we now add,"you could screw up a one-man hanging." The Iraqi government showed the world that, much like the current American administration, they are great on planning but shaky on execution. Considering the botched job the Iraqis made of the state-sponsored death of Saddam Hussein, it's a wonder the man is dead. All things considered, the security was pretty good. It took a whole day for the entire thing to make it to YouTube. Let's hope Bin Laden isn't captured in Takrit.
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