Things I don't understand:
Exactly what is a Kardashian and what benefit do they provide to the common good?
If religion is so important in the explanation of the shootings at Fort Hood, why don't we know the religious beliefs of the Columbine killers or whether David "Son of Sam" Berkowitz was a practicing Jew? Did Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh's Christianity influence his actions?
How did an obnoxious pair of celebrity wannabes like Tareq and Michaele Salahi waltz past the toughest security net in existence and into a photo-op with the President?
How does the Catholic Church send the entire College of Cardinals to help bury Teddy Kennedy then tell Patrick Kennedy to stay away from the altar rail when Communion is distributed?
Am I the only person on God's earth who doesn't care which college football team is declared No. 1 or how that honor is bestowed? Have a playoff or don't have a playoff. Just shut up about it!
How did Alex Rodriguez begin the baseball year as a lying steroid user and finish it under tons of confetti in the Canyon of Heroes?
How are state universities allowed to discriminate against their own in-state students in favor of out-of-staters who pay full tuition?
Even in the Land of Constant Irony, how is it possible that Black Americans, victims of 400 years of slavery and another 100 of Jim Crow, would become the voice of discrimination against the rights of Gay Americans?
If you think Americans are confused about the Country's plan for victory in Iraq and Afghanistan, ask someone why we are spending hundreds of millions supporting the International Space Station.
Why is every male rock singer anyone will pay serious money to see, about 97 years old? Bono is probably the youngest at 49. Also, how is it that considering all the drug use, most of the sixties rockers are still alive?
Has anyone ever actually read anything useful or interesting on Twitter?
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
...or is Thanksgiving just a conspiracy to get people to eat cranberrys?
People you should be thankful for:
Rudy Giuliani.
As Rudy "did I mention 9/11" Giuliani agonizes over which New York State election to lose, the rest of us can only be thankful that we will continue to have Rudy to kick around for a little longer. America's Mayor remains undeterred by the fact that no former New York City Mayor has ever risen to higher office. (Unless you count Boss Tweed's election to president of the Stamp Club at Sing Sing.) Rudy is debating a run for Governor against whomever the Democrats get to oust current Governor David Patterson. The Democrats are hoping that his poor eyesight will prevent his realizing he's not on the ballot. Giuliani is leaning away from the Governor's race because: 1) Losing to Anthony Cuomo would suck and 2) Being Governor of New York would suck even more.
Rudy's other option is a run for the Senate against appointed incumbent Kirsten Gillibrand. The ink is barely dry on her website and already she's in a contest against the Michelle Wie of New York politics (lots of press...one win). All of this is happening while Rudy's former top cop, Bernard Kerik is facing a truckload of jail time as a small time grafter with big time ambitions. Kerik is the gift that keeps on giving. Rudy endorsed Kerik for head of Homeland Security. Kerik repaid the favor by lying to the vetting officers in Washington. Bernie's new home is the Westchester Correctional Facility where, sadly for Rudy, he will not be able to vote.
Whichever way Rudy jumps we can look forward to an entertaining election cycle filled with references to how being mayor when terrorists struck is germaine to handling New York's money problems.
___________________________________________________________________
Sarah Palin
We could clear cut the entire State of Alaska and still not create enough paper to meet the needs of the Sarah Palin Experience. Between the book (500,000 sold...none read) and the reaction to her book/preelection tour, no tree is safe. Democrats are at wits end. The woman is wearing a teflon corset! No amount of logic, fact checking or literary criticism has made the slightest dent in her polling numbers or her marketability. Why would it? All that sniping is coming from the Eastern Media Elite. They're all Obama people. Socialists. What do they know about "real Americans" like us?
Running as the anti-intellectual is not only popular it's easy-breezy. No need to study intelligence briefings or learn where Russia actually is on a map. That stuff's for Harvard wonks. Forget learning the names of the Scandinavian countries. Who am I, Amergo Vespucci? Sarah's strength is her cluelessness. Her appeal is to the reality show watching, WalMart shopping, "Real Americans". Most of them treat stupid like a family member. They feel that the country has been hijacked by Eastern Liberals and minorities. Rather than respect people with educations and a little wisdom, they're resentful.
Sarah Palin is the perfect "style over substance" candidate. It would be a mistake to write her off as a fad with good legs. Her fans are loyal and they will do what she tells them. Remember, our friends in California elected Arnold Schwarzenegger and they're suppose to be sophisticated. If you don't believe that alienated, disenfranchised voters can elect an anti-candate, ask Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
___________________________________________________________________
Governor Mark Sanford
The man who gave the world the euphemism "hiking the Appalachian Trail" has been charged with 37 ethics violations by the South Carolina Senate Ethics Committee. (I was surprised as anyone to learn that, not only were their "ethics" in South Carolina but, they have a committee to investigate them.) Governor Hot Pants has offered in his defense the assertion that the violations were "technical". Voters of the Palmetto State were relieved to learn that flying repeatedly to South America to canoodle a TV journalist was a technicality. Of course Sanford was technically married at the time, technically lied to everyone about his wilderness activities and was technically not authorized to use state funds to enhance his sex life. We can only hope that a South Carolina judge will help The Gov. trade his soul mate for a cellmate. There he will be free to ponder the ramifications of following his johnson across state and international borders..at taxpayer expense.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Rudy Giuliani.
As Rudy "did I mention 9/11" Giuliani agonizes over which New York State election to lose, the rest of us can only be thankful that we will continue to have Rudy to kick around for a little longer. America's Mayor remains undeterred by the fact that no former New York City Mayor has ever risen to higher office. (Unless you count Boss Tweed's election to president of the Stamp Club at Sing Sing.) Rudy is debating a run for Governor against whomever the Democrats get to oust current Governor David Patterson. The Democrats are hoping that his poor eyesight will prevent his realizing he's not on the ballot. Giuliani is leaning away from the Governor's race because: 1) Losing to Anthony Cuomo would suck and 2) Being Governor of New York would suck even more.
Rudy's other option is a run for the Senate against appointed incumbent Kirsten Gillibrand. The ink is barely dry on her website and already she's in a contest against the Michelle Wie of New York politics (lots of press...one win). All of this is happening while Rudy's former top cop, Bernard Kerik is facing a truckload of jail time as a small time grafter with big time ambitions. Kerik is the gift that keeps on giving. Rudy endorsed Kerik for head of Homeland Security. Kerik repaid the favor by lying to the vetting officers in Washington. Bernie's new home is the Westchester Correctional Facility where, sadly for Rudy, he will not be able to vote.
Whichever way Rudy jumps we can look forward to an entertaining election cycle filled with references to how being mayor when terrorists struck is germaine to handling New York's money problems.
___________________________________________________________________
Sarah Palin
We could clear cut the entire State of Alaska and still not create enough paper to meet the needs of the Sarah Palin Experience. Between the book (500,000 sold...none read) and the reaction to her book/preelection tour, no tree is safe. Democrats are at wits end. The woman is wearing a teflon corset! No amount of logic, fact checking or literary criticism has made the slightest dent in her polling numbers or her marketability. Why would it? All that sniping is coming from the Eastern Media Elite. They're all Obama people. Socialists. What do they know about "real Americans" like us?
Running as the anti-intellectual is not only popular it's easy-breezy. No need to study intelligence briefings or learn where Russia actually is on a map. That stuff's for Harvard wonks. Forget learning the names of the Scandinavian countries. Who am I, Amergo Vespucci? Sarah's strength is her cluelessness. Her appeal is to the reality show watching, WalMart shopping, "Real Americans". Most of them treat stupid like a family member. They feel that the country has been hijacked by Eastern Liberals and minorities. Rather than respect people with educations and a little wisdom, they're resentful.
Sarah Palin is the perfect "style over substance" candidate. It would be a mistake to write her off as a fad with good legs. Her fans are loyal and they will do what she tells them. Remember, our friends in California elected Arnold Schwarzenegger and they're suppose to be sophisticated. If you don't believe that alienated, disenfranchised voters can elect an anti-candate, ask Jesse "The Body" Ventura.
___________________________________________________________________
Governor Mark Sanford
The man who gave the world the euphemism "hiking the Appalachian Trail" has been charged with 37 ethics violations by the South Carolina Senate Ethics Committee. (I was surprised as anyone to learn that, not only were their "ethics" in South Carolina but, they have a committee to investigate them.) Governor Hot Pants has offered in his defense the assertion that the violations were "technical". Voters of the Palmetto State were relieved to learn that flying repeatedly to South America to canoodle a TV journalist was a technicality. Of course Sanford was technically married at the time, technically lied to everyone about his wilderness activities and was technically not authorized to use state funds to enhance his sex life. We can only hope that a South Carolina judge will help The Gov. trade his soul mate for a cellmate. There he will be free to ponder the ramifications of following his johnson across state and international borders..at taxpayer expense.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
...or does eating clowns make your mouth taste funny?
Things of interest to no one but me:
Item
Sarah Palin, the doyen of style over substance, is in the news again this week. Well OK she's in the news every week. This week she's on the front page. Proving that old saw that monkeys with word processors could eventually turn out Hamlet, Sarah Palin has written a book. Ya gotta love celebrities who have written more books than they've read. The hardcover edition contains 413 pages but if the print was any bigger, your optometrist could use it for the top of his eye chart. To suggest that the book is light on substance is to say that reality television is light on script. Readers downloading to Kindles report that entire chapters have floated into the ether before reaching their device.
The book is however, heavy on invectives, long on backbiting and, chock full of recipes on how to botch a presidential campaign. According to Palin, her instincts were right more of the time and, had the stuffed shirts in the McCain campaign let her alone, she and John would have been pageant-walking down Pennsylvania Ave. on Jan 20, 2009. Of particular interest is her take on the Katie Couric interview. At no time can Sarah offer any explaination for her colossally clueless answers. We still don't know what she reads.
If Sarah wants to know what not to do in a race for President, she might try a few chapters of Going Rogue. She might even recognize some of the characters.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
And on the subject of the Republicans in 2012, I have the perfect candidates. How about
PALIN - PREJEAN 2012
All that hair with nothing underneath. These are the candidates made in heaven (assuming Mattel has a factory there). Imagine two women constructed entirely of platitudes and cliches. Because they don't actually stand for anything they can't be attacked for their views. Like wind blowing through bridge cables. They can attend rallies all over America. Unencumbered by all those annoying policy wonks and speech-writers, these gals can manage with just a good wardrobe consultant, a makeup artist and a guy who's really good with a comb and brush. They could run their entire campaign through guest appearances on the View...and,of course, Fox News.
So be on the lookout for the "Don't Vote For Me Because I'm Pretty" tour followed by Carrie Prejean's new book "Why Fill Your Mind With Useless Facts When You Can Fill Your Sweater With Useful Silicone".
____________________________________________________________________ Item
The most disgraceful name in all of professional sports has survived a court challenge and will probably not be changed in the near future. The Washington Redskins will continue to remind America that it's OK to denigrate a minority as long as that minority isn't powerful enough to resist.
The actual lawsuit was filed and rejected by the the Supreme Court (care to check how many are season ticket holders?) based on copyright law. I suspect the bad press was intended to coerce the Redskins into reconsidering their mascot name. Anyone who thought that would happen didn't know Jack Kent Cooke, former owner of the team. Anyway, if more people would express revulsion at this racist slur something might happen. If not, America should bombard Dan Snyder, current owner, with alternative names as a way of highlighting the offensiveness of the current one. The Potomac Pollacks, The Capital Kikes, The Federal Faggots, or even The District Darkies all have a certain ring. To be fair, they tried using The Washington Whoremongers for a while but members of Congress were offended. Who knew that was even possible?
Item
Sarah Palin, the doyen of style over substance, is in the news again this week. Well OK she's in the news every week. This week she's on the front page. Proving that old saw that monkeys with word processors could eventually turn out Hamlet, Sarah Palin has written a book. Ya gotta love celebrities who have written more books than they've read. The hardcover edition contains 413 pages but if the print was any bigger, your optometrist could use it for the top of his eye chart. To suggest that the book is light on substance is to say that reality television is light on script. Readers downloading to Kindles report that entire chapters have floated into the ether before reaching their device.
The book is however, heavy on invectives, long on backbiting and, chock full of recipes on how to botch a presidential campaign. According to Palin, her instincts were right more of the time and, had the stuffed shirts in the McCain campaign let her alone, she and John would have been pageant-walking down Pennsylvania Ave. on Jan 20, 2009. Of particular interest is her take on the Katie Couric interview. At no time can Sarah offer any explaination for her colossally clueless answers. We still don't know what she reads.
If Sarah wants to know what not to do in a race for President, she might try a few chapters of Going Rogue. She might even recognize some of the characters.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
And on the subject of the Republicans in 2012, I have the perfect candidates. How about
PALIN - PREJEAN 2012
All that hair with nothing underneath. These are the candidates made in heaven (assuming Mattel has a factory there). Imagine two women constructed entirely of platitudes and cliches. Because they don't actually stand for anything they can't be attacked for their views. Like wind blowing through bridge cables. They can attend rallies all over America. Unencumbered by all those annoying policy wonks and speech-writers, these gals can manage with just a good wardrobe consultant, a makeup artist and a guy who's really good with a comb and brush. They could run their entire campaign through guest appearances on the View...and,of course, Fox News.
So be on the lookout for the "Don't Vote For Me Because I'm Pretty" tour followed by Carrie Prejean's new book "Why Fill Your Mind With Useless Facts When You Can Fill Your Sweater With Useful Silicone".
____________________________________________________________________ Item
The most disgraceful name in all of professional sports has survived a court challenge and will probably not be changed in the near future. The Washington Redskins will continue to remind America that it's OK to denigrate a minority as long as that minority isn't powerful enough to resist.
The actual lawsuit was filed and rejected by the the Supreme Court (care to check how many are season ticket holders?) based on copyright law. I suspect the bad press was intended to coerce the Redskins into reconsidering their mascot name. Anyone who thought that would happen didn't know Jack Kent Cooke, former owner of the team. Anyway, if more people would express revulsion at this racist slur something might happen. If not, America should bombard Dan Snyder, current owner, with alternative names as a way of highlighting the offensiveness of the current one. The Potomac Pollacks, The Capital Kikes, The Federal Faggots, or even The District Darkies all have a certain ring. To be fair, they tried using The Washington Whoremongers for a while but members of Congress were offended. Who knew that was even possible?
Monday, November 16, 2009
...or is state-sponsored execution just a very late term abortion?
I still don't know how to feel about the death penalty. The topic has been in the news a lot lately. Virginia executed John Allen Mohammed, the notorious DC sniper who, with help from Lee Boyd Malvo, shot at least ten people from the modified trunk of his car. The U.S. Attorney in Texas has indicated that, before there's even an indictment, he will most likely seek the death penalty for Major Nidal Malik Hasan who shot and killed 13 people at Fort Hood. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is about to stand trial in New York which may result in a rare execution in that state.
These are nice, clean cases. The killers are bad guys. Like they say in Texas: "They needed killin'." They either freely admitted their crime (Khalid), were seen doing it (Maj. Hasan) or, the evidence was overwhelming (John Allen). The usual cry for cowboy justice was raised and few prosecutors would have risked public ire by considering a lighter sentence. Can you imagine the outrage if the New York DA suggested a life sentence for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed?
If our capital punishment statutes were limited to senseless, multiple murders where the evidence left no doubt as to guilt, there might be less concern about executing criminals. Sadly, America's criminal justice system is much too free with state sponsored executions. You've seen the numbers: 37 executions in the U.S. in 2008; 45 so far this year; Texas, the lethal cocktail capital of the world, accounted for 48% last year and 46% this year. (Whoa! Is someone in Austin going soft on crime?) Since 1976, 1,081 of the 1,181 executions in America took place in the South. That's 91%.
I'm not sure what any of this means but I'm pretty sure that the South doesn't account for 91% of the population or 91% of the serious crimes. They might have 91% of the cops who think it's OK to arrest the first person (usually the first black or Spanish person) who happens by the scene of the crime and pack him off to death row. They might have 91% of the District Attorneys who, lest they appear to be coddling criminals, are more than happy to demand death sentences at every possible opportunity. They might even have 91% of the country's jurors who figure "if the cops arrested the bum, he must be guilty".
We need a National Death Penalty Review Board. If we are determined to continue to be the only civilized society to condone state sponsored executions let's at least make sure the son-of-a-bitch actually did it. This panel would look at all aspects of the crime and the trial. Without the media's harsh glare and the pressure to convict someone to soothe public sentiment, a review board would at least ensure that "driving while black" near the scene of a crime didn't continue to be a capital offense. We have plenty of retired judges who, appointed for life, would meet once a year to decide on the justice of capital cases. No liberals need apply. Each appointee must be willing to approve the will of a jury if the situation warrants.
I wish that more public institutions were troubled by this deadly quirk in the American psyche. Not a single religious organization lobbies actively against capital punishment. The condemnation of executions by the Pope, while tepid, represents the only Christian voice in protest. Most American Christians are happy with "an eye for an eye" regardless of the blinding effect. Executions will continue in America because America demands that they continue. If Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is the new face of the death penalty in this country so be it. But like heaven, death row should be reserved for only a select few. You should really have to earn a spot.
These are nice, clean cases. The killers are bad guys. Like they say in Texas: "They needed killin'." They either freely admitted their crime (Khalid), were seen doing it (Maj. Hasan) or, the evidence was overwhelming (John Allen). The usual cry for cowboy justice was raised and few prosecutors would have risked public ire by considering a lighter sentence. Can you imagine the outrage if the New York DA suggested a life sentence for Khalid Sheikh Mohammed?
If our capital punishment statutes were limited to senseless, multiple murders where the evidence left no doubt as to guilt, there might be less concern about executing criminals. Sadly, America's criminal justice system is much too free with state sponsored executions. You've seen the numbers: 37 executions in the U.S. in 2008; 45 so far this year; Texas, the lethal cocktail capital of the world, accounted for 48% last year and 46% this year. (Whoa! Is someone in Austin going soft on crime?) Since 1976, 1,081 of the 1,181 executions in America took place in the South. That's 91%.
I'm not sure what any of this means but I'm pretty sure that the South doesn't account for 91% of the population or 91% of the serious crimes. They might have 91% of the cops who think it's OK to arrest the first person (usually the first black or Spanish person) who happens by the scene of the crime and pack him off to death row. They might have 91% of the District Attorneys who, lest they appear to be coddling criminals, are more than happy to demand death sentences at every possible opportunity. They might even have 91% of the country's jurors who figure "if the cops arrested the bum, he must be guilty".
We need a National Death Penalty Review Board. If we are determined to continue to be the only civilized society to condone state sponsored executions let's at least make sure the son-of-a-bitch actually did it. This panel would look at all aspects of the crime and the trial. Without the media's harsh glare and the pressure to convict someone to soothe public sentiment, a review board would at least ensure that "driving while black" near the scene of a crime didn't continue to be a capital offense. We have plenty of retired judges who, appointed for life, would meet once a year to decide on the justice of capital cases. No liberals need apply. Each appointee must be willing to approve the will of a jury if the situation warrants.
I wish that more public institutions were troubled by this deadly quirk in the American psyche. Not a single religious organization lobbies actively against capital punishment. The condemnation of executions by the Pope, while tepid, represents the only Christian voice in protest. Most American Christians are happy with "an eye for an eye" regardless of the blinding effect. Executions will continue in America because America demands that they continue. If Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is the new face of the death penalty in this country so be it. But like heaven, death row should be reserved for only a select few. You should really have to earn a spot.
...or should KSM visit NYC for a well-deserved ASS-kicking?
To begin with, I refuse to refer to Khalid Sheikh Mohammed as KSM. He's not JFK, LBJ or even GWB. We didn't confer "initial" status on Ted Bundy or Charlie Manson. We didn't call John Wayne Gacy "JWG". That's all Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is after all; a cold-eyed mass murderer. He's not a creepy intellectual like Hannibal Lecter. Not a brilliant psycho in the mold of Lex Luthor. He isn't even scary to look at, although that arrest photo makes you glad he's not sitting next to you on the subway. Take away the flowing robes, the Islamic rhetoric and the al Qaeda mystique and he's just another thug with a bomb.
And what do we do with murderers like Mohammed here in the good old U.S. of A.? You're damn right. We give 'em a fair trial and hang 'em. Why then are we so afraid of giving Mohammed a trial in New York? What terrible evil do we imagine he might reign down on Manhattan? Hell, he's already killed 3,000 people and destroyed several square blocks of real estate. I'm guessing he's already taken his best shot.
Nevertheless, the hand-wringing over the Justice Department's decision to try Mohammed in New York has been disturbing. Rudy Giuliani, desperate for any, and I mean any, issue that might possibly resonate with voters, any voters, has voiced his disapproval. He feels, as many do, that Mohammed is a terrorist. Terrorist is a fuzzy word meant to strike fear in the hearts of our citizens, like the bogey man. According to Republicans, a terrorist is any person unworthy of a trial or status as a prisoner of war. According to Giuliani, terrorists should be locked away forever without trial, without rights, without access to a defense. Presumably, Mr. Giuliani would accord Maj. Hasan of recent Ft. Hood fame the same status. Certainly his actions were those of a terrorist. In his slide toward obscurity and irrelevance, poor Rudy is grasping at any issue that might earn him a line or two in the press. This assertion that New York City isn't up to a trial will do nothing to improve voter turnout should he be deluded enough to run for Governor or Senator.
Michael Mukasey, the last of George Bush's Attorneys' General, feels that a trial in New York is just too hard. He thinks that the trial might make New York a target. Holy 9-11 Batman! Don't we think that horse is already out of the barn? Of course N.Y. is a target. That's why they hit us there. New York's vulnerability won't be lessened if we change the venue to Tupelo.
Mukasey also speculates that security in New York might not be up to the challenge. Honestly? New York has 36,000 police officers. They might take umbrage at the notion they can't lock down one scruffy Arab. Where does Mr. Mukasey think the trial could be held? Apalachicola? Reno? Fairbanks?
We have also heard from that noted constitutional scholar John Yoo, formerly of the Bush Dungeons and Dragons Justice Department. Mr. Yoo will be forever remembered for the memos that showed how the Founding Fathers specifically encouraged torturing people we don't like. Yoo disapproves of the New York trial of Mr. Mohammed on the grounds that testimony and cross examination will reveal details of America's intelligence apparatus.He thinks some stealthy, star-chamber prosecution is the answer. Mr. Yoo is currently lecturing at UC Berkeley using balloon folding to show how to manipulate the Constitution.
Seriously, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is a murderer; nothing more. His crime might have been noteworthy, but he isn't. Every time some bed-wetting politician attempts to curry favor with conservative America by excessively demonizing him, it only enhances his status among his followers. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed should be tried in New York because that is where the crime was committed. He should sit in shackles in an orange jumpsuit and be tried. (Possibly not by a jury of his peers.) He should get a fair trial, be judged and, if guilty, be sentenced. This is America. We are not afraid of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. He is not bigger than two hundred years of Constitutional Law. The justice that he and his followers deny to others will be the justice that does him in. We are not doing this because of who Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is. We're doing it because it's who we are.
And what do we do with murderers like Mohammed here in the good old U.S. of A.? You're damn right. We give 'em a fair trial and hang 'em. Why then are we so afraid of giving Mohammed a trial in New York? What terrible evil do we imagine he might reign down on Manhattan? Hell, he's already killed 3,000 people and destroyed several square blocks of real estate. I'm guessing he's already taken his best shot.
Nevertheless, the hand-wringing over the Justice Department's decision to try Mohammed in New York has been disturbing. Rudy Giuliani, desperate for any, and I mean any, issue that might possibly resonate with voters, any voters, has voiced his disapproval. He feels, as many do, that Mohammed is a terrorist. Terrorist is a fuzzy word meant to strike fear in the hearts of our citizens, like the bogey man. According to Republicans, a terrorist is any person unworthy of a trial or status as a prisoner of war. According to Giuliani, terrorists should be locked away forever without trial, without rights, without access to a defense. Presumably, Mr. Giuliani would accord Maj. Hasan of recent Ft. Hood fame the same status. Certainly his actions were those of a terrorist. In his slide toward obscurity and irrelevance, poor Rudy is grasping at any issue that might earn him a line or two in the press. This assertion that New York City isn't up to a trial will do nothing to improve voter turnout should he be deluded enough to run for Governor or Senator.
Michael Mukasey, the last of George Bush's Attorneys' General, feels that a trial in New York is just too hard. He thinks that the trial might make New York a target. Holy 9-11 Batman! Don't we think that horse is already out of the barn? Of course N.Y. is a target. That's why they hit us there. New York's vulnerability won't be lessened if we change the venue to Tupelo.
Mukasey also speculates that security in New York might not be up to the challenge. Honestly? New York has 36,000 police officers. They might take umbrage at the notion they can't lock down one scruffy Arab. Where does Mr. Mukasey think the trial could be held? Apalachicola? Reno? Fairbanks?
We have also heard from that noted constitutional scholar John Yoo, formerly of the Bush Dungeons and Dragons Justice Department. Mr. Yoo will be forever remembered for the memos that showed how the Founding Fathers specifically encouraged torturing people we don't like. Yoo disapproves of the New York trial of Mr. Mohammed on the grounds that testimony and cross examination will reveal details of America's intelligence apparatus.He thinks some stealthy, star-chamber prosecution is the answer. Mr. Yoo is currently lecturing at UC Berkeley using balloon folding to show how to manipulate the Constitution.
Seriously, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is a murderer; nothing more. His crime might have been noteworthy, but he isn't. Every time some bed-wetting politician attempts to curry favor with conservative America by excessively demonizing him, it only enhances his status among his followers. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed should be tried in New York because that is where the crime was committed. He should sit in shackles in an orange jumpsuit and be tried. (Possibly not by a jury of his peers.) He should get a fair trial, be judged and, if guilty, be sentenced. This is America. We are not afraid of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. He is not bigger than two hundred years of Constitutional Law. The justice that he and his followers deny to others will be the justice that does him in. We are not doing this because of who Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is. We're doing it because it's who we are.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
...or if you lie down with dogs do you get fleas?
The nostalgia wing of the Roman Catholic Church is a busy place. Ever since the misguided days of Vatican II, the folks in Rome have relentlessly charted a course toward a new renaissance...by attempting to reestablish the old Renaissance. The years since Pope John XXIII attempted to enlarge the Catholic tent, Rome has been winding back the clock. Mass in Latin has been reinstated. Prohibitions against birth control, married priests and women priests have been reinforced. Attempting to undo the English Reformation, the Church has reached out to disaffected Episcopalians. Now, the Church in Rome is attempting the grandest coup of all: namely, to reassert itself as a temporal power.
So this week the Archdiocese of Washington has threatened the D.C. City Council, should the Council adopt an amendment permitting gay marriage. In return for this presumed heresy the Church has vowed to close all of their social service facilities including their homeless shelters. Beautiful! The Archbishop Donald Wuerl, takes exception to the end of discrimination against gays and decides to take his ball and go home. To hell with the 68,000 people currently receiving aid from the Church. Screw the homeless! Close those shelters. Imagine how Archbishop Wuerl would have responded to the Emancipation Proclamation? Would he have moved the Church to South Africa?
The ecclesiastical fig leaf being used as cover by the RCC is that, if the law passes, they might be required to extend employee benefits to gay spouses. Please! The Catholic Church is attempting to use its financial muscle to block a change in D.C. law to which they take exception. Oddly, they haven't threatened to close their schools. They have requested an exemption from extending benefits to same sex couples. In other words, please let us continue to discriminate because we don't like your life style.
Fortunately, the D.C. City Council sees this for what it is: the Catholic Church's attempt to force it's outmoded and discriminatory will on the City of Washington. Councilman Phil Mendelson has labeled the Church's threat as a religious attempt to write civil law. He categorizes that as a dangerous idea. No such threat has been made in Massachusetts, Vermont or New Hampshire but those areas haven't had the training in arm-twisting that is the hallmark of political life in Washington. By Christmas, gays will have the right to marry in the District of Columbia.
Meanwhile in the Archdioceses of New York, Archbishop Timothy Dolan, eager to turn water into whine, has taken to the blogoshere to protest perceived shabby treatment at the hands of the (Jewish-owned) New York Times. In a Sunday op-ed piece by Maureen Dowd, the RCC was taken to task for its treatment of women, especially nuns. Archbishop Dolan wrote a rebuttal which those Christ-killers at the Times refused to print. Dolan's point is that the Catholic Church receives undo criticism that would never be tolerated were it directed at Muslims or Jews. The pedophile scandal of recent years is dismissed as having been perpetrated by a "tiny minority of priests". Presumably, had it been ignored by the press, it would have solved itself.
If Rome wants to play in the political arena in the United States they should expect to be treated like any other political entity. You cannot attempt to influence the secular world by supporting or condemning politicians and their actions, then hide behind your status as a religion when the spotlight shines back on you. Jews are treated as a religion because they act like one. (Anyone who believes that Muslims are receiving deferential treatment is delusional.) The Catholic Church is actively lobbying for social change. They are trying to use their power to influence law.
OK, that's fair. However when you wade into a fight with your fists up, don't complain if you get a bloody nose...even if you are wearing a dress.
So this week the Archdiocese of Washington has threatened the D.C. City Council, should the Council adopt an amendment permitting gay marriage. In return for this presumed heresy the Church has vowed to close all of their social service facilities including their homeless shelters. Beautiful! The Archbishop Donald Wuerl, takes exception to the end of discrimination against gays and decides to take his ball and go home. To hell with the 68,000 people currently receiving aid from the Church. Screw the homeless! Close those shelters. Imagine how Archbishop Wuerl would have responded to the Emancipation Proclamation? Would he have moved the Church to South Africa?
The ecclesiastical fig leaf being used as cover by the RCC is that, if the law passes, they might be required to extend employee benefits to gay spouses. Please! The Catholic Church is attempting to use its financial muscle to block a change in D.C. law to which they take exception. Oddly, they haven't threatened to close their schools. They have requested an exemption from extending benefits to same sex couples. In other words, please let us continue to discriminate because we don't like your life style.
Fortunately, the D.C. City Council sees this for what it is: the Catholic Church's attempt to force it's outmoded and discriminatory will on the City of Washington. Councilman Phil Mendelson has labeled the Church's threat as a religious attempt to write civil law. He categorizes that as a dangerous idea. No such threat has been made in Massachusetts, Vermont or New Hampshire but those areas haven't had the training in arm-twisting that is the hallmark of political life in Washington. By Christmas, gays will have the right to marry in the District of Columbia.
Meanwhile in the Archdioceses of New York, Archbishop Timothy Dolan, eager to turn water into whine, has taken to the blogoshere to protest perceived shabby treatment at the hands of the (Jewish-owned) New York Times. In a Sunday op-ed piece by Maureen Dowd, the RCC was taken to task for its treatment of women, especially nuns. Archbishop Dolan wrote a rebuttal which those Christ-killers at the Times refused to print. Dolan's point is that the Catholic Church receives undo criticism that would never be tolerated were it directed at Muslims or Jews. The pedophile scandal of recent years is dismissed as having been perpetrated by a "tiny minority of priests". Presumably, had it been ignored by the press, it would have solved itself.
If Rome wants to play in the political arena in the United States they should expect to be treated like any other political entity. You cannot attempt to influence the secular world by supporting or condemning politicians and their actions, then hide behind your status as a religion when the spotlight shines back on you. Jews are treated as a religion because they act like one. (Anyone who believes that Muslims are receiving deferential treatment is delusional.) The Catholic Church is actively lobbying for social change. They are trying to use their power to influence law.
OK, that's fair. However when you wade into a fight with your fists up, don't complain if you get a bloody nose...even if you are wearing a dress.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
...or is Twitter taxing your attention span?
More items shamelessly pilfered from other places...or just made up.
Item
The President has signed a law granting citizenship to Gen. Casimir Pulaski, Polish hero of the Revolutionary War.
Fox News has attacked this gesture as another example of the President's wrong-headed attitude regarding illegal aliens. Lou Dobbs of CNN fumed that after being in America for 230 years you would think Gen. Pulaski could have managed the time to apply for citizenship without Presidential mollycoddling. Gretta van Sustern wondered aloud if the General would now be eligible for social security and, if Congress has its way, healthcare. Michelle Malkin added that this was another example of Obama's fawning over Europeans while ignoring red-blooded Americans right here at home."This Polack already has a skyway and a day named for him. And what have we named for great Americans like Karl Rove...nothing." Other Fox News critics suggest that, because Pulaski carried a sabre into battle, he was probably anti-gun.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Well, you know it's Christmas time. The air is a little crisper; the days are shorter and your television is aglow with an unending series of Kay Jewelers ads. Can't we petition Amnesty International or the Geneva Conventions to have these ads declared a form of torture? Seriously, every kiss may begin with K(ay) but they end with H1N1.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Andre Agassi has recently published a tell-all autobiography in which, among other revelations, he admits to having hated tennis for all the years he was winning major tournaments.
In a related story former President George W. Bush is about to complete his own memoir in which he confesses to have hated drinking for all the years up to the time his wife read him the "it or me" speech around his 40th birthday. "I never liked the taste much" the former Commander-in-Chief admits. "If it wasn't for the buzz I would have preferred Fresca". Who knew?
___________________________________________________________________
Item
One hundred days into their imprisonment, the three American hikers arrested on the Iraq-Iran border in July have released a statement. While heart-warming, the communication makes no mention of how anyone could be stupid enough to go for a stroll in possibly the most dangerous part of the world. Were flights to Darfur all booked?
Naturally, we all hope that these knuckleheads get back safely but a condition of their release should be that their travel be restricted to Disneyworld and, for any sexual liaisons, the Appalachian Trail.
Item
The President has signed a law granting citizenship to Gen. Casimir Pulaski, Polish hero of the Revolutionary War.
Fox News has attacked this gesture as another example of the President's wrong-headed attitude regarding illegal aliens. Lou Dobbs of CNN fumed that after being in America for 230 years you would think Gen. Pulaski could have managed the time to apply for citizenship without Presidential mollycoddling. Gretta van Sustern wondered aloud if the General would now be eligible for social security and, if Congress has its way, healthcare. Michelle Malkin added that this was another example of Obama's fawning over Europeans while ignoring red-blooded Americans right here at home."This Polack already has a skyway and a day named for him. And what have we named for great Americans like Karl Rove...nothing." Other Fox News critics suggest that, because Pulaski carried a sabre into battle, he was probably anti-gun.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Well, you know it's Christmas time. The air is a little crisper; the days are shorter and your television is aglow with an unending series of Kay Jewelers ads. Can't we petition Amnesty International or the Geneva Conventions to have these ads declared a form of torture? Seriously, every kiss may begin with K(ay) but they end with H1N1.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Andre Agassi has recently published a tell-all autobiography in which, among other revelations, he admits to having hated tennis for all the years he was winning major tournaments.
In a related story former President George W. Bush is about to complete his own memoir in which he confesses to have hated drinking for all the years up to the time his wife read him the "it or me" speech around his 40th birthday. "I never liked the taste much" the former Commander-in-Chief admits. "If it wasn't for the buzz I would have preferred Fresca". Who knew?
___________________________________________________________________
Item
One hundred days into their imprisonment, the three American hikers arrested on the Iraq-Iran border in July have released a statement. While heart-warming, the communication makes no mention of how anyone could be stupid enough to go for a stroll in possibly the most dangerous part of the world. Were flights to Darfur all booked?
Naturally, we all hope that these knuckleheads get back safely but a condition of their release should be that their travel be restricted to Disneyworld and, for any sexual liaisons, the Appalachian Trail.
...or is Antonin Scalia the most powerful man in America?
Some debates I get. People can have differing opinions about issues like abortion and both sides can claim the moral high ground; a woman's rights over her own body vs. the sanctity of a life not your own. The argument over healthcare can be made and disputed with each opinion having merit. I cannot, however, understand the debate that will occupy the Supreme Court this week over whether teenagers can be sentenced to life in prison for crimes in which no one was killed.
According to the New York Times (who presumably does not have a dog in the fight) there are 107 people in the United States serving life sentences who were convicted and sentenced as juveniles. As you can imagine, no other western society has any. Shocker! Of these prisoners, 77 are in Florida and it is a Florida case that the Supremes will hear. The Sunshine State is also a leader in executions. All those old people are cranky!
Florida got serious about incarcerating children, and just about everyone else, back in the 1990's when violent crime among juveniles was at an all-time high. All that mayhem was not only scaring the pensioners, it was causing all those German vacationers to consider going somewhere more sedate, like Beirut. In 2005 the High Court ruined everyone's good time by forbidding the execution of anyone under the age of 18. Clearly those bleeding hearts in Washington don't understand the need to set a good example for all that Eurotrash. Anyway, just because the good citizens of Florida can't fry high school sophomore doesn't mean that they can't lock 'em up and throw away the key.
The particular cases to be argued involve two tykes who were working on their rap sheet merit badges from an early age. Neither is a person you want living in the house next door. Terrence Graham committed a violent armed robbery while out on parole for another felony. Joe Sullivan raped a 72 year old woman. No one is suggesting that these two slimeballs be sent to bed without their supper. However, life without parole, or LWOP, can't be the only option.
Naturally, adherents to the hang-'em-high school point to a drop in juvenile crime in the last several years but, considering that we're only talking about 77 inmates it appears unlikely that those criminals would have accounted for all that crime. Anyone who asserts that these stiff sentences are a deterrent is just playing to a frightened constituency. Crime stats go up and down for all sorts of reasons.
This is a decision that needs to be made from 10,000 feet. It's not about one horrific crime that cries out for harsh justice. It's about who we are and what we're becoming. We already condone state-sponsored killings in all but twelve states. We have more people in prison per capita than any other country. District attorneys who run on get-tough platforms are never around to discuss the cost of housing all those offenders. We have to be smart enough to devise a punishment system that includes a little compassion and a little hope. Why does it take a Supreme Court ruling to tell the country what we should already know? When no deaths are involved, a lengthy prison sentence can be imposed but there should be a limit on years. Forever is a long time, especially when you're 16 or 17. Immaturity and stupidity aren't always forever. Neither should the punishments they demand.
According to the New York Times (who presumably does not have a dog in the fight) there are 107 people in the United States serving life sentences who were convicted and sentenced as juveniles. As you can imagine, no other western society has any. Shocker! Of these prisoners, 77 are in Florida and it is a Florida case that the Supremes will hear. The Sunshine State is also a leader in executions. All those old people are cranky!
Florida got serious about incarcerating children, and just about everyone else, back in the 1990's when violent crime among juveniles was at an all-time high. All that mayhem was not only scaring the pensioners, it was causing all those German vacationers to consider going somewhere more sedate, like Beirut. In 2005 the High Court ruined everyone's good time by forbidding the execution of anyone under the age of 18. Clearly those bleeding hearts in Washington don't understand the need to set a good example for all that Eurotrash. Anyway, just because the good citizens of Florida can't fry high school sophomore doesn't mean that they can't lock 'em up and throw away the key.
The particular cases to be argued involve two tykes who were working on their rap sheet merit badges from an early age. Neither is a person you want living in the house next door. Terrence Graham committed a violent armed robbery while out on parole for another felony. Joe Sullivan raped a 72 year old woman. No one is suggesting that these two slimeballs be sent to bed without their supper. However, life without parole, or LWOP, can't be the only option.
Naturally, adherents to the hang-'em-high school point to a drop in juvenile crime in the last several years but, considering that we're only talking about 77 inmates it appears unlikely that those criminals would have accounted for all that crime. Anyone who asserts that these stiff sentences are a deterrent is just playing to a frightened constituency. Crime stats go up and down for all sorts of reasons.
This is a decision that needs to be made from 10,000 feet. It's not about one horrific crime that cries out for harsh justice. It's about who we are and what we're becoming. We already condone state-sponsored killings in all but twelve states. We have more people in prison per capita than any other country. District attorneys who run on get-tough platforms are never around to discuss the cost of housing all those offenders. We have to be smart enough to devise a punishment system that includes a little compassion and a little hope. Why does it take a Supreme Court ruling to tell the country what we should already know? When no deaths are involved, a lengthy prison sentence can be imposed but there should be a limit on years. Forever is a long time, especially when you're 16 or 17. Immaturity and stupidity aren't always forever. Neither should the punishments they demand.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
...or does Fox News exist solely to make the rest of us feel smarter?
Well, now that "Decision 2009" is over, we can safely say all the important questions have been answered. Was the election in the frozen tundra of New York's 23rd Congressional District a referendum on Conservatives vs Moderates in the Republican Party? Ask Fox. Was the never-in-doubt Governor's race in Virginia a rebuke of Barack Obama? Ask MSNBC. Was the not-as-close-as-you-thought defeat of Jon Corzine a repudiation of men who foppishly dropped the "h" from their first name? CNN knows. Was the closer-that-expected election for mayor in New York affected by a six game World Series? Inquire at ESPN.
The answer to the burning question as to what we learned from the governors' races in New Jersey and Virginia, the answer is ...nothing. Jersey first. Corzine was wildly unpopular long before the President proposed healthcare. He was losing his grip on power well before the tea-baggers showed on Fox News. No one in the Garden State trudged to the polls on Tuesday to express an opinion on Barack Obama. They voted against Jon Corzine. The happy beneficiary of that sentiment was Chris Christie who happened to be a Republican. Had the party labels been reversed, the result would have remained the same: incumbent out...new guy in.
Virginia is a bit different. Bob McDonnell defeated Creigh Deeds because Deeds ran the single most inept campaign since John McCain. McDonnell is a social neocon of the first magnitude. He's one of the last of the "bare-foot and pregnant" crowd. The choice should have been one guy walking upright; the other, not so much. Sadly, Deeds never bothered to tell anyone who he was. Having somehow beaten Terry McCauliffe in a primary, he apparently felt the fight was over. The voters of Virginia felt otherwise. If you wish to draw a conclusion fror this contest draw this one: if you run a crumby campaign you will likely be the one making the early concession speech to an empty ballroom.
With regards to the imperial election in New York, you can't help but wonder; if $85 million only buys you 51% of the vote, what would a landslide cost? Michael Bloomberg laid out $152 for every New Yorker that circled his name. For that money you could almost buy a ticket to a Yankee game. Still, New Yorkers take exception to having their term limits laws ignored even by a mayor as reasonably popular as Little Mikey. In the future Mayor Bloomberg would be advised to try for something less stressful... like Eliot Spitzer's press agent.
And now we come to the Land That Time Forgot...New York's chilly 23rd Congressional District. This place is so far upstate that snow is considered a natural resource. It's also home to some of the country's most rock-ribbed conservatives. The 23rd hasn't voted for a Democrat practically since the Erie Canal opened. It was impossible for the GOP to lose this seat when the President nominated Congressman John McHugh to be Secretary of the Army. Ah, but no one ever went broke underestimating the ineptitude of the Republican Party. The party locals nominated Dede Scozzafava to run in a special election. But wait! Ms. Scozzafava is pro gay. She's pro choice. She's (dare we say it) moderate. That would never do.
Determined to cause a problem where none existed, the neocon purists decided to abandon sweet Dede in favor of a "true" conservative, Doug Hoffman. Never mind that he didn't actually live in the district or understand what issues mattered to the locals, he had his social ducks in order. Apparently Alaska's own Sarah Palin assumed that anyone with frost in their ears was her kind of people. After all, the populations are almost identical: 600,000 or so people trying to keep warm. Sarah lent her 1,000 watt smile and her lower wattage brain to the contest. This sort of carpetbagging went over like a Jello snow shovel. The Republicans were able to turn a sure victory into another Congressional vote for the Blue team. These guys couldn't get a Muslim elected in Iran.
So, what have we learned from "America goes to the Polls, 2009"? From Jon Corzine we learned that incumbency is it's own punishment. From Creigh Deeds we discovered that campaigning isn't really underrated. From Mike Bloomberg we find out that the third time isn't always the charm or three strikes and you're out. And from the "defeat from the jaws of victory" crowd in New York's 23rd district we learned that up state New Yorkers can smell manure even under all that Alaska snow.
The answer to the burning question as to what we learned from the governors' races in New Jersey and Virginia, the answer is ...nothing. Jersey first. Corzine was wildly unpopular long before the President proposed healthcare. He was losing his grip on power well before the tea-baggers showed on Fox News. No one in the Garden State trudged to the polls on Tuesday to express an opinion on Barack Obama. They voted against Jon Corzine. The happy beneficiary of that sentiment was Chris Christie who happened to be a Republican. Had the party labels been reversed, the result would have remained the same: incumbent out...new guy in.
Virginia is a bit different. Bob McDonnell defeated Creigh Deeds because Deeds ran the single most inept campaign since John McCain. McDonnell is a social neocon of the first magnitude. He's one of the last of the "bare-foot and pregnant" crowd. The choice should have been one guy walking upright; the other, not so much. Sadly, Deeds never bothered to tell anyone who he was. Having somehow beaten Terry McCauliffe in a primary, he apparently felt the fight was over. The voters of Virginia felt otherwise. If you wish to draw a conclusion fror this contest draw this one: if you run a crumby campaign you will likely be the one making the early concession speech to an empty ballroom.
With regards to the imperial election in New York, you can't help but wonder; if $85 million only buys you 51% of the vote, what would a landslide cost? Michael Bloomberg laid out $152 for every New Yorker that circled his name. For that money you could almost buy a ticket to a Yankee game. Still, New Yorkers take exception to having their term limits laws ignored even by a mayor as reasonably popular as Little Mikey. In the future Mayor Bloomberg would be advised to try for something less stressful... like Eliot Spitzer's press agent.
And now we come to the Land That Time Forgot...New York's chilly 23rd Congressional District. This place is so far upstate that snow is considered a natural resource. It's also home to some of the country's most rock-ribbed conservatives. The 23rd hasn't voted for a Democrat practically since the Erie Canal opened. It was impossible for the GOP to lose this seat when the President nominated Congressman John McHugh to be Secretary of the Army. Ah, but no one ever went broke underestimating the ineptitude of the Republican Party. The party locals nominated Dede Scozzafava to run in a special election. But wait! Ms. Scozzafava is pro gay. She's pro choice. She's (dare we say it) moderate. That would never do.
Determined to cause a problem where none existed, the neocon purists decided to abandon sweet Dede in favor of a "true" conservative, Doug Hoffman. Never mind that he didn't actually live in the district or understand what issues mattered to the locals, he had his social ducks in order. Apparently Alaska's own Sarah Palin assumed that anyone with frost in their ears was her kind of people. After all, the populations are almost identical: 600,000 or so people trying to keep warm. Sarah lent her 1,000 watt smile and her lower wattage brain to the contest. This sort of carpetbagging went over like a Jello snow shovel. The Republicans were able to turn a sure victory into another Congressional vote for the Blue team. These guys couldn't get a Muslim elected in Iran.
So, what have we learned from "America goes to the Polls, 2009"? From Jon Corzine we learned that incumbency is it's own punishment. From Creigh Deeds we discovered that campaigning isn't really underrated. From Mike Bloomberg we find out that the third time isn't always the charm or three strikes and you're out. And from the "defeat from the jaws of victory" crowd in New York's 23rd district we learned that up state New Yorkers can smell manure even under all that Alaska snow.
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