...or do we need a leash law for Steve King?

And then we have the state of Iowa. You might suppose that a state with only four representatives  in the US Congress would take a bit of care in selecting them. If that were true however, how do you explain Congressman Steve King? If Rep. King's pronouncements were any stranger he could run for office in East Texas. Mr. King has come to national prominence by attempting to enrage, infuriate and otherwise offend every progressive special interest and minority in the entire country. Considering the number of tone-deaf, out of touch Republicans vying for the title of Most Inappropriate Politician in a Leading Role, Mr. King's rise to obnoxious prominence is impressive. One might be tempted to stereotype Iowa as just another collection of Mid-Western goobers who want Uncle Sam to subsidize their crops but look the other way while they romance the livestock. That would be an over simplification.

Iowa has been a difficult state to handicap. They nominated Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum for President in recent years but Iowa was one of the first states to recognize gay marriage. As devout Christians, Iowa has adopted the Biblical edict to love thy neighbor to its logical conclusion. Good for them. Iowa is 91% white (this number fluctuates depending on the racial makeup of the University of Iowa's offensive and defensive lines) and 75% catholic or Christian Protestant. If Iowa were a little farther north it could be Denmark. They have much in common with their cousins to the south and west (big on grits, guns, God) but on some things (for example English is not the official language) they go their own way. The farmers in King's own district favor a path to citizenship for illegals by a factor of two to one.

But then there's Steve King. Not content to  simply accept millions from Monsanto and the other agribusiness interests in his district, King has decided to walk in the shoes of Todd Akin of neighboring Missouri. Not about rape but about immigration.  In a recent speech Steve allowed that for every  illegal immigrant (read Mexican) who goes on to become valedictorian of his/her class there are hundreds smuggling drugs across the border. King has this on good authority. He spoke to one agent. The point of this despicable hate-speech is King's desire to torpedo the so-called Dream Act designed to streamline a path to citizenship for illegals brought here as children. Considering that there are about 35 illegals in Iowa (72% of the white population never leave) one wonders why Mr. King is so worried. Most immigrants would prefer Guantanamo to Des Moines.

However, King has not limited his warped world view to Latinos. He has attempted to attach a rider to the current farm bill which would virtually nullify state animal rights laws for companies engaged in interstate commerce. He has clearly stated his disinterest in any humane treatment of animals in factory farm situations. Jesus what's the big deal? They're just chickens. King thinks dog fighting is just fine and children should be able to attend. "There's something wrong when we outlaw dog fighting but allow people to fight." Well gee, who could argue with that logic? Psst! Congressman, People have free will. They can choose to fight. Dogs can't.

But why try to argue with morons like this. Iowa elected him so we're stuck. However, as our friends in Egypt have clearly demonstrated, elections, unlike diamonds, are not forever. Not that anyone is suggesting that we send the military to oust him. I'm sure a small, motivated gaggle of pit bulls might be helpful. At least they wouldn't be fighting each other.

Or are we the most easily distracted country in the...oh look...squirrel!

It's August and there isn't much going on anywhere. Well there is Egypt but that's a giant mess and picking a winner there is tougher than handicapping next year's Kentucky Derby. So while right-wing radio is blaming the President for: 1) Backing the wrong side in Egypt, 2) not backing the right side in Egypt and, 3) not knowing which side is the right side; the fighting and dying continues.  Of course no one on the right knows which side is "right" either except John McCain who wants to arm and attack all sides. No matter. The conservatives blame the President if it rains on the Fourth of July fireworks so the White House said screw them and headed for Martha's Vineyard. Cue the right-wing outrage about Presidential vacations. 

Still, there are 24 hour news cycles to be fed and nothing fills the gaps between real news stories like America' favorite pastime ...righteous indignation. We may owe our language and heritage to the English but, when it comes to getting our knickers in a knot we are purely French. Everything riles us. Kids who wear their pants around their knees, the ubiquitous use of cell phones, coddled criminals, Trayvon Martin, George Zimmerman, abuse of police power, the NSA, the IRS, the BSA allowing GAY scout leaders. All this and more seem to set our kettles to boil. Here are a few examples from this week's Washington Post:

Item

Last week,  a rodeo clown at the Missouri State Fair donned an Obama mask as part of his rodeo clown shtick (whatever that is) much to the delight of Missourians who clearly voted in substantial numbers for the other guy in 2012.  In a state where cow tipping is an Olympic event and the state university offers a course in post hole digging, no one should have been surprised that the current President would be the object of derision in Missouri. Nevertheless, even before  the last cow pie was tossed, cries of racial insensitivity were loose in the kingdom. It goes without saying that whenever the name or visage of Barack Hussein Obama appears in some derisive manner, cries of racism will be sure to follow. This comes with the territory when you are the first person of your race to hold the job. Just wait until Hillary gets elected in 2016.

The clown/perpetrator says it was all in fun and I for one am prepared to take him at his word.Not so the captains of the politically correct police. The Washington Post editorials sounded as if someone had vaulted the fence around the Rose Garden and planted watermelons. They even found some Texas Congressman (shocking!) who invited the rodeo clown, one Mr. Tuffy Gessling to appear in his home district. Importing clowns into Texas? Talk about carrying coals to Newcastle! The clown (the performer not the Congressman) has plenty of defenders in Missouri. A support group, formed on Facebook, has 60,000 "likes". Who knew that Missouri had 60,000 folks on Facebook? Hell, who thought 60,000 Missourians could read?

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Here in the nation's Capital we live in a constant state of indignation. It's more constant than humidity in August. One of our recent pet peeves is the statue of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. which stands near the Tidal Basin across from Tom Jefferson. Since its dedication in August, 2011 the statue, or rather its pedestal, has been a sore spot for fans and followers of Dr. King. It seems that one of the quotes on the base of the monument was, for reasons best known to the designer, truncated in such a way as to distort its meaning. Although the mangled quote was decried by many, it took a Post (Washington not New York) reporter, one Rachal Manteuffel to lobby to get the thing changed. So, at a cost of $900,000 the statue will now be both politically and historically correct.

However, buoyed by her success, Ms. Manteuffel has appointed herself the sole arbiter of statuary good taste in the nation's capital. Her column in last Friday's paper attacked no less than six statues/monuments around the city including the Boy Scouts and Mary McLeod Bethune. In one case, a particularly offensive rendering of Abe Lincoln freeing the slaves, she may be on to something. The slave in question is in chains and on all fours in front of the President.This might have passed for symbolic art in 1894 but in today's racial climate...not so much. A minstrel show might have been less inappropriate.

As for the other five cited works, Ms. Mantuffel is a trifle off the mark. She seems to feel that every statue which includes an adult and a child is an ode to pedophiles everywhere. This sort of perverse thinking might cause the dismantling of the Washington Monument. After all, should a giant phallus be the symbol of the Father of our Country? The imagery is even more stark this summer when, closed for repairs, the monument is sheathed in a giant condom. Children, avert your eyes. 

For those who can't get terribly worked up over rodeo clowns and public art, we still have the ever popular (or unpopular) NSA. Sadly, on a subject which should actually engender outrage, the number of Americans who care about who listens to their conversations or reads their email would fit comfortably in the back seat of a Chevy Suburban. Seriously, we think we should deplore this snooping, we certainly want to be outraged but face it, we just don't care. The one thing in the news this summer that should probably cause universal indignation is generating less emotion than the trials of Paula Dean.

Try as we might we just don't see the harm in Big Brother knowing the daily machinations of our lives. "Let 'em listen" the sentiment goes. "I'm not that interesting." The Internet, Facebook, and Twitter have warped our sense of privacy to the point that we really have no privacy left and really...who cares? Aside from the conspiracy crowd who think that government is coming for their guns, no one is alarmed that Uncle Sam knows about your affair with the gardener or how you made par from a trap on the 7th hole at the club.  If you want to get people excited, try closing the local Walmart or cancel  Dancing With The Stars. 

There have been many reasons put forth to explain the fall of the Roman Empire but my own theory is that it started when Romans stopped worrying about what their government was doing and started caring more about the point spread in the Lions vs. Christians event at the coliseum.

...or are the Real Women of Washington just a fading memory?

Where are they now?

The recent emergence of Anthony Weiner (I just can't help myself) and the identification of the women he was sexting brings to mind all the delightful sexual transgressions of days gone by. Where are the Fannie Foxes of yesteryear? How titillated we all were at the news that long-time Congressman Wilber Mills was caught cavorting with a woman of "sporting morality" in the Tidal Basin in Washington DC one Oct night in 1974. Actually it was only Ms. Fox who jumped into the water and she was a stripper not a hooker but those are just details.

In any event, the exposure of Mr. Weiner's " amour de selfie" has launched the dubious career of a lady named Sydney Leathers. (So a guy named Weiner is exposing himself to a woman named Leathers? Who's writing this stuff Seth MacFarland? Soupy Sales?) Ms. Leathers has thrown a lanyard around her fifteen minutes of fame in the form of a bikini spread in the New York Post and an interview on Howard Stern. It's sad but, hey, it's August and nothing much is going on.

 So just for fun let's play a game called "Match the Miscreant" where you identify the lecher and put him with the lady in his life. Below is a list of famous men who have been identified with various women who then became famous. In fairness, not all of the women were actually guilty of anything. They were just tragically standing too close to some guy when the spotlight came on. There are one or two trick answers. Also, there are more women than men because some guys are serial offenders. No Googling please.



                    Gary Hart                                                            Monica Lewinsky (too easy?)           

                    John Jenrette                                                       Mary Jo Kopechne                            

                    Eliot Spitzer                                                        Gennifer Flowers  

                    Bill Clinton                                                          Rielle Hunter             

                   David Petraeus                                                     Sherry Rowlands            

                   Dick Morris                                                          Christine Keeler 

                   Nelson Rockefeller                                               Paula Jones 

                   Ollie North                                                           Deborah Jeane Palfrey

                   Levi Johnston                                                       Amy Fisher

                   John Edwards                                                       Donna Rice

                  David Vitter                                                          Kathleen Willey

                  John Profumo                                                       Elizabeth Ray 

                  Wayne Hays                                                         Asley Dupre

                  Joey Buttafuoco                                                   Meghan Marshack  

                 Ted Kennedy                                                        Bristol Palin

                                                                                                Rita Jenrette

                                                                                                Mandy Rice Davies
                                                                                             
                                                                                                Paula Broadwell

                                                                                                 Fawn Hall


I'm sure we forgot a few so please let isitjustme know who we left out and I'll edit the list.