...was Peggy Lee refering to reality TV when she sang, "Is that all there is"?

I really hate reality TV. It would be a wonderful thing if "Big Brother", "The Bachelor", "The Bachelorette", "Extreme Makeover", "Hell's Kitchen", "America's Next Top Model" and all the rest of this dreck donated their air time to National Geographic or The Weather Channel or C-SPAN reruns.



It's still only June, so the prospect of an actual scripted show appearing anywhere on the major networks (thank God for TNT) is alarmingly limited. NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox will be content with filling their prime time slots with re-reruns (the same shows that ran endlessly during the writer's strike) and a steady stream of reality. It's enough to make you go get some exercise. Well, maybe not!

The impetus for this particular rant was the bill of fare available last night, Wednesday, June 25th. Your choices include: "Celebrity Circus", "So You Think You Can Dance" (two hours), "Wife Swap", "Supernanny", "Farmer Wants A Wife "and the most egregious of all, "Baby Borrowers". Holy Walmart, Batman! I realize that "Law & Order" and "Criminal Minds" aren't Macbeth but at least they have actors and a plot. The plot of Wife Swap appears to include abusive language, the police and possible restraining orders.



At least the recent spate of revived game shows has the potential to be engaging. Audiences who remember the original "Password" and "Price is Right" will presumably be entertained by the updated versions. Good old "Jeopardy" has yet to crack prime time but I suspect that today's TV viewer would rather watch Howie Mandel attempt to calm a hyperventilating housewife than attempt to answer a question requiring actual knowledge. (I liked Howie better on "St. Elsewhere".)

As difficult as this is to admit, shows like "Nashville Star" and "So You Think You Can Dance" occasionally expose someone with a modicum of talent. Gleeful network execs have discovered that, with a few B-list celebs and one or two gifted amateurs, you can fill an entire hour. Take that, Jerry Bruckheimer! Even the mean-spirited Simon Cowell occasionally stumbles across a decent singer . I just don't want to watch him do it.

Particular derision is reserved for a new show called "Baby Borrowers". Due to the dubious success of "Wife Swap", the masterminds at NBC have presented their viewers with a show involving handing children in various stages of life to five teenage couples. As to who would be crazy enough to volunteer their baby to be exploited in this video lab experiment, ask NBC. The moguls at National Broadcasting must not have noticed the child abuse and exploitation issues which arose at CBS over last year's disaster, "Kid Nation". Anyway, I guess that the fun is derived in watching young couples cope with the problems of parenthood. If "Baby Borrowers" fails as a prime time show, NBC can always re-market the product as a cautionary tale for the use of condoms.

Television is a totally democratic medium. If you don't like something, watch something else. If enough people do that, shows get cancelled. Remember "Clash of the Choirs"? How about "Viva Laughlin"? Neither does anyone else.



Tragically, the reverse is also true. Keep that in mind when you tune in to the last fifteen minutes of "America's Got Talent". You just might be encouraging some network wonk to dream up a show like, "America's Got Taste?" or "America's Shrinking IQ".