..or is there a price to pay for peeing in the shallow end of the gene pool?

Granted, it's a bit classless to chuckle at the death of another human being but...

Randy Lee Tenley of Kalispell, Montana decided that a bigfoot sighting in his town would be just the thing to liven up a dull summer. Randy Lee proceeded to acquire a ghillie suit from the local army surplus store. (Ghillie suits are camouflage costumes worn by snipers. The wearer appears to be a pile of leaves and moss.) He then donned the suit and ventured out to scare and confound the citizenry of Kalispell. Sadly, Randy Lee's plan went sideways when he lumbered onto a road at night and was hit by a 15 year-old driver. Randy was hit again by another car who clearly took him for a pile of dead leaves and moss. (Kudos to the suit maker.) Whether either driver reported an encounter with a Sasquatch was not made clear.

Kalispell, MT is hardly the Area 51 of bigfoot activity. At certain times of the year you're lucky to see any form of homo erectus. Why Mr. Tenley thought that a Sasquatch invasion would improve the quality of life in his town is a secret that died with him.

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On a completely unrelated topic:

Did anyone notice that Mark Sanford, former Governor of South Carolina, is engaged to be married to Maria Belan Chapur. Who? Mayhaps you have forgotten Mr. Sanford and his contribution to the lexicon of American euphemism. While Markie was governor, he mysteriously disappeared for six days and told his staff he was "hiking the Appalachian Trail". Turns out the Appalachian Trail has a little-known detour that leads directly to the Buenos Aires apartment of Ms. Chapur.

As was subsequently revealed, this was not Governor Sanford's first hike and mostly at the expense of the good people of South Carolina. Being a good Republican ( see also "Wide Stance" Larry Craig) the Governor declined to resign. His own party tried to have him impeached but the Democrats of SC, delighted to leave him twisting in the wind, blocked most attempts. Sanford denied that he used State funds to further his Argentinean agenda. Having said that, he wrote the State a check to cover the misappropriated funds. His wife resigned from their marriage.

Well, that was 2009 and former Governor Sanford has maintained a moderately low profile. The definition of low profile among South Carolina Republicans is that you take a gig at Fox News, never to be taken seriously again. (As opposed to a gig at MSNBC where, chances are, you were never taken seriously to begin with.) However, true love will out. It was reported that in August Mr. Sanford proposed to the lovely Ms. Chapur. Apparently, Sanford hid in the men's room while a waiter told Ms. Chapur that she had won a prize and presented the ring. Thankfully, Gov. Sanford didn't encounter Larry Craig in the toilet or the story might have taken a ghastly turn.

__________________________________________________________________

and if you can spell non sequitur...

Seriously, does anyone actually read Prince Valiant in the comics any more? Are there folks out there that feel their Sunday is incomplete without a visit to Val? I love the comics but I'm a geezer. I check Doonesbury and Dilbert every day. I even look at Beetle Baily though that hasn't been relevant since the Korean War. I would read B.C. and the Wizard of Id also but they're not in the Wash. Post.

Comics are the ultimate anachronism. It was probably the first part of a newspaper that you read as a kid. The Funny Papers were the only part of the printed newspaper that parents could share with the kids. Strips like Mary Worth, Blondie and the Katzenjammer Kids were followed the way Justin Bieber is followed on Twitter. People cared about Lil Orphan Annie and Dick Tracy. Gasoline Alley, and Lil Abner were homilies and miniature morality tales. The strips evoked smiles rather than laughs. Stuff like two-way wrist radios (Dick Tracy) and secret decoder rings (Lil Orphan Annie) were part of the lexicon in America for generations. Ah! where are the Andy Capp's of yesteryear?

...or has GOP come to mean God's Own Party?

Never has the hand of God been seen more clearly than in the Almighty's attempts to disrupt the Republican National Convention scheduled to begin today in Tampa, FL.

This is not the first time that the Supreme Being has used weather to send a message to the GOP. No one remembers the 2008 Republican Convention for anything except the birth of Sarah Palin (she was born fully formed from the brain of John McCain). What everyone forgets is that there was an attempt at Divine Intervention there as well. The convention was held in St. Paul, MN which as we all know, is not exactly hurricane central. Nevertheless the expected, or unexpected arrival of Hurricane Gustav caused several departures from the original schedule of events.Although the message the Almighty was attempting to convey, "send that moron in the red suit and glasses back to Alaska" went unheeded, he was at least able to keep George W. Bush from speaking live at the convention. (The sigh of relief was audible in Eau Claire, Wisconsin.) Absolutely no one in the GOP wanted the words "George W. Bush" and "hurricane" uttered in the same sentence. Instead "W" addressed the convention via satellite from an undisclosed, secure location. God was apparently satisfied that the Republicans got part of the message and the storm passed several hundred miles to the east.

Now we arrive at the 2012 edition of the Republican National Confab. Having learned exactly nothing from their brush with disaster in '08, the GOP decided to hold this year's party in Tampa, Florida...on the coast...in August. Jeez! Why not the Bermuda Triangle? Well, God knows a gauntlet when one is thrown down and He was ready. This time, in case anyone missed the subtlety, the storm is named Isaac, as in son of Abraham (presumably calling it Yahweh was a bit showy). The Almighty's efforts are having a much more profound impact this time around. The storm has already forced the cancellation of the worst speaker to address a convention since Pat Buchanan told Republicans it was OK to be racist in 1992. Donald Trump is out. (For the love of God, who thought this chowderhead would add anything but derision to the GOP message?)

Rumor has it that Trump attempted to bribe God into sending the hurricane to North Carolina next week but the Almighty wasn't having any (the Dems are convening in Charlotte on Sept 4th).

Everybody's favorite religious asshat, Michele Bachmann, was, as usual, ready to interpret the meteorological message from On-High. Ms. Bachmann has been the GOP's go-to medium for divining God"s messages in storms and various teapot tempests. It was Rep. Bachmann who, in 2011, famously proffered that the east coast earthquake and Hurricane Irene were messages from The Almighty to Washington. "I don't know how much God has to do to get the attention of politicians." The possibility that God was telling Republicans to leave National Healthcare alone never crossed her mind. (If a butterfly flapping its wings in Mongolia can cause the Santa Ana winds in Mexico, how much damage must Michele Bachmann's flapping mouth be causing in Asia?)

The prophet from Minnesota's Sixth has delved deep into her crystal and has seen God's metaphorical hand in the weather plaguing Florida this week. Speaking to the Florida Family Policy Council, Michele suggested that "...we are looking at a political hurricane in our land." WOW! Move over Nostradamus. Fortunately for the attendees at the Convention, Rep. Bachmann will get no closer to the speakers rostrum than she is today, which is a parking lot at the Olive Garden. Still, delegates crazy enough to sit in the convention hall throughout Tuesday and Wednesday will suffer speeches from Scot Walker of Wisconsin, Bob McDonald of Virginia, Rick Santorum from Bethlehem, Bobby Jindal from The Big Bang Theory, and Newt Gingrich from The Dating Game. In an attempt at whimsy the GOP plans to schedule Rob Portman, Tim Paulenty and Connie Mack but not announce who will speak when. Delegates will then be quizzed as to which is which. Prizes will be awarded.

The featured speakers will include Chris Christie who will reinforce his credentials to be President at the same time the engineers at the convention reinforce the stage. Nikki Haley, Governor of South Carolina, will speak about life in the craziest state in the Union and Marco Rubio will discuss how his family escaped Castro's Cuba three years before Castro's Cuba actually was Castro's Cuba. (Maybe Michele Bachmann saw Castro's eventual rise in a storm cloud and warned the Rubios.)

Sadly, the real fun-lovers like Sharron Angle, Sarah Palin, Christine O'Donnell, Herman Cain and Todd Akin will be missing from the program. No one wants to be reminded about how batshit this crowd really is. Only serious politicians like Callista Gingrich, Newt's current accessory and Luce Vela, first lady of Puerto Rico are allowed to address the throng. Susana Martinez Governor of New Mexico will also speak, assuming she can prove who she is and how she got here.

So have a ball you Republicans. Nominate Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan. Have a balloon drop and a party and try to ignore the 500 pound elephant in the room...no, not Chris Christie. The fact is that after four years of vilifying Barack Obama and attempting to pander to the worst of the teabaggers bigotry and hate, you are still the party of old, cranky, white rich people. Blacks hate you, Latinos hate you, women should hate you and kids laugh at you. The Republican party is the best thing to ever happen to John Stewart.

Republicans should heed the words of the Commander of the Host who was chasing Moses across the Red Sea in The Ten Commandments. He said "Let us go from this place. Men cannot fight against a God."

...or has Mike Bloomberg graduated from nanny to wet-nurse?

From the recent files of isitjustme, subsection "you can't make this stuff up":

As referenced in a recent posting, the mayor/nanny of New York City has sponsored yet another edict in his never-ending war on personal freedom. Mike Bloomberg is determined to make you healthy and thin even if he has to lock you up to do it.

In any other city in America the draconian pronouncements of Mayor Bloomberg would be denounced as not just unconstitutional but anti civil liberties. In Dallas the citizens would be hunting for a rope. The interesting thing in New York is that everyone likes Mayor Mike. He has done a wonderful job running a city that was considered, under the Democrats, ungovernable. He has taken the torch from Rudy Giuliani (who, one must admit, did an admirable job) and continued to advance a nonpartisan, even-handed agenda. If the laws of the city didn't limit the mayor to two terms (a law Bloomberg set aside in 2009) Mike could be mayor of NY in perpetuity. He's a billionaire who takes the subway to work (sometimes) and rarely puts his foot in his mouth.

However Mike's one blindspot is his proclivity for proposing laws, regulations and edicts which while designed to do good, come off as patronizing and, well, silly. Bloomberg banned smoking in restaurants and bars in 2003 and in public spaces like Times Square in 2011. In 2006 he banned the use of artificial transfats in food sold in New York. He decreed that the calorie count of fast food be posted in all such restaurants and has pushed for a ten year plan to reduce the salt content of packaged foods. His commissioners have mandated a change in the taxi fleet to include hybrid cars instead of the old Ford Crown Vics. His recent effort to limit the size of sugary drinks sold in stores and restaurants has earned Mike more laughs than applause.

However, Mayor Bloomberg is undeterred. His most interesting cause to date is a ban on the sale of baby formula over the counter, thereby forcing new mothers to breastfeed. Formula would be available in hospitals but the staff must document the reason for dispensing it. Formula will also be available in pharmacies with a prescription. Although the Mayor's heart is certainly in the right place, his head is clearly too close to his sphincter. It was bad enough when he banned food donations to the homeless because the city couldn't control the salt content but this is one toke over the line. The Mayor appears determined to leave office with an electorate of thin, healthy, smoke-free, transfat-free, well adjusted constituents. It would surprise no one if he stopped the subways and buses once or twice a week and made New Yorkers walk or bicycle to work.

Mayor Mike is on the right side of abortion, gun control, religious freedom (he welcomed the so-called Ground Zero Mosque) and traffic congestion. However, mandating breastfeeding is big brotherism at it's worst. Personal choice cannot be sacrificed on the altar of "we know best". It would probably be best if Mayor Bloomberg kept his hands off women's breasts. Oh, you know what I mean.

or is prayer in school the first step toward Sharia Law?

While all the world was gasping at the galactic stupidity of Todd Akin, he of the Missouri Gynecological and Plumbing Association, no one noticed the other smell arising from the plains of the mighty mid-west. Having clearly established the Show Me State's regard for women (that would be, not much) the genius voters of MO have passed one of the dumbest, most irrelevant laws since Mike Bloomberg's mandatory breast-feeding edict.

Missouri has decided that Christians in Missouri (and make no mistake, this is only about Christians) don't get to pray enough in public. While Todd Akin was dragging women back to chattel status, the Missouri populace passed the "Missouri Public Prayer Amendment". This charming bit of irrelevancy has guaranteed forevermore the rights of Missourians to practice their religion freely. Apparently, the citizens of Missouri were so busy practicing their religion in secret they never had time to glance at the U.S. Constitution. If they had, they would have tripped over the First Amendment which mentions, in passing, that Americans have been practicing their religion freely since 1789. Maybe they thought that the Missouri Compromise of 1821 somehow shortchanged their religious freedom. (A section of the amendment allows for the public display of the Bill of Rights in Missouri public schools so this oversite might be short-lived.)

Actually it's the second part of this law which will cause huzzahs with the Bible-beating crowd. The amendment states that students in public schools are guaranteed the right to pray and acknowledge their religion voluntarily. Clearly, the information block that promoted the understanding of the First Amendment also shielded Missourians from three landmark Supreme Court decisions. Two decisions in 1962 and 1963, Engel v. Vitale and Abbington School District v. Schempp pretty much put the kibosh on school prayer. In 1971 the court went so far as to establish guidelines for what was acceptable in schools where prayer was concerned. In Lemon v. Kurtzman the Court said that public school activities must 1) have a secular purpose, 2) Must neither enhance nor inhibit religion and 3) Must not result in excessive entanglement between government and religion. If you don't think this is clear, you must be from Missouri.

The author of this tripe is one State Rep. Mike McGhee. Here's a quiz: see if you can guess Mike's 1) religion?, 2) race?, 3) party? Of course he is. Here's a trick question: where did he go to college? Wrong. He never went. He's a farmer from Independence who made his money in land speculation. Prior to his introducing this amendment, the only impression he ever made in Jefferson City was on the cushion of his chair.

There are two things you need to know about this amendment. First, it's as unconstitutional as the day is long. The Supremes have yelled themselves hoarse explaining that school is not church. If you feel the need to contact the Almighty during school hours, ask to be excused. There are zero reasons to organize moments of silence during class time and a thousand reasons not to. If praying is so critical to your kid's education, put them in a religious school where they can pray to their heart's content while studying creationism and celibacy. Leave public schools to study real knowledge not mysticism.

Second, anybody who thinks that these "religious freedoms" will be extended to Muslim kids please pull your head out of your Koran. These "freedoms" are about promoting Christianity and Christianity only. The very reason for excluding prayer from schools, i.e., to keep teacher from converting/brainwashing students, is the very reason the Christian Right want to bring it in. They don't want religious freedom they want a state sponsored shot at preaching Jesus to school kids. The first time that a group of Islamic students organize themselves in the corner of a classroom and begin chanting "Allah akbar" the freedom of religion crowd will scream "terrorists" and run from the building. Remember, it was the "good Christians" of middle America that howled every time a middle easterner tried to erect so much as a falafel stand. This is about Christianity and its true believers.

All of this religious fervor might at least be understandable if the goal was building a more moral country. Who could argue with Christian values like charity, kindness and love? Sadly, those pages are missing from the New Testament being preached by these self-appointed prophets. The same "Christians" who want students praising Jesus all day also want immigrants out, welfare stopped and all non-Real Americans jailed. Please, ask one of these modern-day evangelists what he thinks of Guantanamo or inner-city blacks or education for illegal immigrants. Jesus Christ would hardly recognize the Church he started.

So remember oh you righteous Christians of Missouri, as you demand crosses be placed outside public buildings and stone renderings of the ten commandments be displayed in your courthouses, the only countries currently interested in this sort of church - state unification are the ones facing Mecca six times a day. Sharia Law by any other name still still treats women like goats.

...or has the party that gave us Sharron Angle and Christine O'Donnell lost its ability to shock or surprise?

Missouri may not be in the deep south but recent events in the "Show Me" State would lead one to believe that they are working hard for membership. Missouri ranks right up with her sister states in obesity (30%), intelligence (#22 - best in the South after Virginia) and now a leader in draconian laws and moronic politicians. In a state where homeschooling is neither monitored nor regulated you can expect political candidates like Todd Akin.

Enter Todd Akin. The Tea Party's newly minted candidate for the Senate, challenging a supposedly vulnerable Claire McCaskill, couldn't wait to trot out his somewhat novel understanding of women's reproductive idiosyncrasies. During an interview last Sunday with a St. Louis TV station (presumably K-DOPE-TV) Congressman Akin was asked to defend his position on abortion. He has stated that he's again' it even in instances of rape and incest. Rather that launch into the usual rant about the sacredness of life, Akin opined that pregnancy, as a result of legitimate rape (as opposed to the non-legitimate kind), is "really rare. If it's a legitimate rape the female body has ways to shut that whole thing down." Ladies and Gentlemen behold the newest embodiment of the ASSHAT.

Mr. Akin is a graduate of the Wooster Polytechnic Institute in Wooster, Mass. I checked and they do not offer any courses in vaginal engineering. He also has a Masters of Divinity from the Convent Theological Seminary in St. Louis. In spite of the "Convent" in the title, female reproductive studies are unknown except in the backseat of the occasional Toyota. It would appear that Congressman Akin received the bulk of his gynecological training from the instruction pamphlets inside home pregnancy tests. In any event the upshot of the interview is that Congressman Akin is as qualified to expound on women's reproductive issues as he is to be a US Senator.

Because irony died in the Republican party during the Nixon years, no one thought it strange that Akin sits on the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology. One can only assume that Akin specialized in the "space" part; especially the oxygen deprivation testing. He clearly skipped the "science" lectures.

Since Sunday the House has fallen on Todd Akin...and the Senate...and every Republican from John Boehner to Paul Ryan. Most are suggesting that he 1) withdraw from the Senate race, 2) take a long walk off a short pier or, enroll in the Outer Mongolian School of Reproductive Medicine. In any event, he should think about a change in careers.

However, Congressman Akin isn't having any. "I'm not a quitter" he said. That's not entirely true. Akin declined to appear at a planned interview on Piers Morgan's show on CNN. He did appear on Sean Hannity's radio show where he quoted that well-known OB-GYN John Paul Jones who said "I have not yet begun to fight." It was unclear if he was being raped at the time.

...or has the GOP decided to run Jim Crow for national office?

You gotta love Republicans. The Grand Old Party has traditionally been in the minority in America (current figures have the GOP a slight underdog) but has learned how to make the most of opportunities when they arise. Republican lawmakers have used every trick in the Karl Rove, Tom DeLay handbook to: redraw congressional boundaries, hire politically motivated prosecutors and pass any law possible to ensure their continued political dominance. In states like Texas, the Republicans have gerrymandered congressional districts to the point that the congressional Texas map looks like it was painted by Picasso at age five. Note: It's not like the Democrats are new to redrawing districts to maximize political advantage. Perish the thought. The GOP is only singled out for their shamelessness.

This brings us to 2010 and the unfortunate election results that put several state governments in the hands of some very mean-spirited Republicans. These guys grew up in the Bush-Cheney "take no prisoners" school of politics. Having taken over in 2011, they set right to work determining who voted for Barack Obama and how to keep them out of the polls in 2012. First on the list were those smelly poor people and those who live on society's margins. Next were minorities, especially those black citizens who turned out in record numbers to vote Democratic. But how do you disenfranchise entire voting blocks without violating that pesky Voting Rights Act?

Hey wait! How about if all the GOP governors take to Fox News and gin up a crisis about voter fraud? That will give the state legislatures cover to demand that voters show picture ID's before voting. After all, voter fraud is rampant in the land (we're certain because we heard it on Fox). And before you could say Jim Crow, Republican state houses passed laws requiring voters to present official photo ID cards before voting. So far, these laws have passed in Texas (big surprise), Nebraska, Wisconsin (thank you Scott Walker), Tennessee, South Carolina (where all the really evil laws are born), Georgia, Mississippi, Indiana and, most contentiously, Pennsylvania. No one gives a God damn who votes in Nebraska or who they vote for.

A judge in Pennsylvania has just ruled that the voter ID law in that state is legal and he is probably right. The interesting aspect of this case is that prior to argument, the Defendants, in the person of the State AG, had already thrown in the towel. In a "stipulation agreement" filed before the trial began, the State has acknowledged that it has no evidence that the new law would prevent fraud at the polling place. Further, the State cannot point to one case of in-person fraud at any voting facility in the State. So, in short, a law that was supposedly written to stop in-person voter fraud, will not stop voter fraud, but that's OK because there is no voter fraud to stop. But if there were fraud, by God we stopped it. Pennsylvania is about to entertain a law prohibiting hunters from shooting unicorns with a crossbow.

To be clear, these laws would not stop dead people from voting in Chicago. They would not stop ACORN-type registrations (ACORN committed no voter fraud or ever broke any election law. Their offense was coming to the attention of a has-been named Glenn Beck.) There is a famous story regarding the Senate campaign of Lyndon Johnson in Texas in 1948 where, during the Democratic primary, a precinct turned in election results showing that the citizens of the area voted in alphabetical order. True or not, and it's a great story, the new voter laws would not prevent alphabetical voting. Face it, the net effect of these laws is that fewer legitimate voters will get to vote. America has been electing presidents since G. Washington and no one has ever thought it necessary to show a photo (during the 1880's maybe a daguerreotype or a lithograph).

If you really want to investigate voter fraud (which no one in the GOP wants to do), take a look at absentee ballots. Reports of ballots being "mislaid" are rampant.

It's not like anyone believed that these laws were anything but an attempt to keep poor and old people from voting but it's nice to see the State of Pennsylvania admit it. Pennsylvania's House Majority Leader Mike Turzai proclaimed that "this law will allow Mitt Romney to win the State of Pennsylvania". WOW! I might expect that from Rick Perry or Nikki Haley but Pennsylvania is a light blue moderate state.

But just in case you think that voter suppression is a "southern" thing, consider the inventive policies of the Attorney General of Ohio. Under the supervision of AG Mike DeWine, Ohio is attempting to stifle early voting. Some clever dick in the GOP noticed that the lines of early voters outside polling places in 2008 had an inordinate number of, let's say, people of color. The Secretary of State has actually tried to limit voting hours in districts that vote Democratic. The Republicans are especially interested in keeping the polls closed on the weekend before election day when an estimated 93,000 voters hit the polls in 2008. The thinking goes that if lower income workers are unable to get time off to vote on Tuesday Romney has a better shot. Sharpies in the Secretary of State's office have said that only military personnel can vote on the weekend so attempts to change that statute are framed as anti-soldier. This cesspool of an idea has caused even the Governor to hold his nose. Plans are in the works to make this transparent tactic look less like stacking the deck. Good luck with that. I understand that Oklahoma is thinking of having black and Latino voters cast ballots on a moving bus.

...or is Romney's choice for VP another case of the bland leading the bland?

OK so lets take a look at this guy Paul Ryan. I keep reading how Ryan is the energizing force that will catapult the GOP to new heights of conservative glory. Paul Ryan is the cinnamon on the oatmeal that is Mitt Romney. He is the game-changer (where have I heard that before)? Ryan is the voice of fiscal responsibility. He has a plan.

Really? Well if Congressman Ryan is such a reign-in-the-budget, stop-the-spending, screw-the- poor and darling of the teabagger crowd, let's take a fast look at his voting record. Since his election in 1998, Congressman Ryan has voted with his party 93% of the time. He's a follower, hardly a leader. He voted for the Bush tax cuts and the extension of those tax cuts which, without a concomitant change in government spending, added 3 trillion to the National Debt. He voted for the bailout of General Motors and Chrylser as well as the hated TARP program. Ryan voted for the Medicare Part D drug program, a very costly increase in the social safety net. He voted to authorize the President to use military force in Afghanistan and Iraq, wars that were fought on credit. Ryan may be a nice guy with a solid moral core but there is nothing in his voting record in 15 years in the House of Representatives that would give rise to any notion that he is a fiscal conservative.

Ryan's reputation as a deficit hawk is, so far as I can tell, exclusively a product of spin. The dreaded main-stream media, reviled by all true Foxies, has created the myth of "Paul Ryan, Enemy of All Government Spending". This media creation is based almost exclusively on the "Ryan Plan" which is a budget proposal that: 1) increases defense spending, 2) lowers taxes for the very wealthy, and 3) decimates every social program from food stamps to Medicare. The cuts are so dractic even the Council of Catholic Bishops is opposed. Ryan is famous for having proposed this program chiefly because no other Republican has proposed anything more substantial than a coffee break in 3 1/2 years. With 240 GOP Congressmen sitting around picking lint from their navels, Ryan looks like the reincarnation of Adam Smith.

Still you have to give the Romney people credit for choosing in the VP candidate, a person with the perfect blend of bland but not too bland...like a Honda but with a racing stripe and extra cup holders. Romney isn't in the same boat as John McCain was in 2008. Old John was so desperate to add life to his funereal campaign, he chose someone who made everyone think "boob" but not always for the same reason. Sarah Palin's sell-by date could be measured in weeks. Romney is in a different situation.

He's a wooden Indian. If he has a plan for growing the economy or curbing illegal immigration or reducing spending or, well anything, he's kept it a pretty good secret up to now. His campaign to win the GOP nomination was, at times, eclipsed by Donald Trump, Herman Cain, and Newt Gingrich: the Groucho, Chico and Harpo of American politics. Like the Russians against Napoleon, he didn't so much win as outlast his enemies. In a field of candidates that resembled a casting call for a perverse reality show, Mitt was rarely able to garner more than 35% of the vote. His own party approached his selection the way a customer buys expensive cheese; Romney smelled the least bad.

Having managed to prevail against the lost battalion of potential candidates, Mitt needed to chose a running mate who wouldn't cast him in the shadows. No easy task that. In almost five years of campaigning, Governor Mitt has displayed all the charm and charisma of a white bread sandwich. He looked at Cris Christie but his shadow speaks for itself. Tim Paulenty and Rob Portman were possibilities but it helps if the the candidates are distinguishable by something more substantial than the color of their ties. Marco Rubio of Florida was in the mix but Marco has been tripping over his own back-story (His family fled Castro's Cuba five years before Fidel took power. oops!) Tragically, Rubio is what passed for "color" in the GOP, John Boehner notwithstanding. Mitt might have tried for a woman but Condoleezza Rice told him no and Jan Brewer was too busy ruining the State of Arizona to help out.

Ryan might actually help Romney win Wisconsin which went for Obama in '08. They're an independent bunch up there. They gave America Joe McCarthy and Bill Proxmire. Wisconsin voters defy pigeonholing. They also sometimes defy logic. They elected Scott Walker as Governor, tried to recall him then changed their minds. As long as Wiscinsin's seniors don't read too deeply about what Paul Ryan intends to do to their Medicare, Romney's VP choice should work out fine. At least Mitt won't have to worry about whether Ryan can see Russia from his back porch. He lives in Janesville.