The times they are a changin' in the Old South. Time was if a man cheated on his wife he was persona non grata in polite society. Decent folk would cross the street to avoid a conversation. No one would invite him to their homes. At church he would become an object lesson for a wrathful sermon. (No names of course.) These things were especially true in colonial southern states like Virginia, Georgia and especially South Carolina.
Well welcome to South Carolina 2012. The state that introduced America to the concept of secession has now decided that values don't matter. The Christians of the Palmetto State have determined that aborting a pregnancy is verbotten but aborting your marriage (or marriages) is perfectly fine. Changing your mind about healthcare is flip-flopping, changing your mind about your vows is a personal choice. Honestly?
Hey don't get me wrong, I don't care if Newt Gingrich sleeps with sheep (which in Arkansas might be a plus) but up until last Saturday it was suppose to matter to the good, God-fearing people of South Carolina. The folks who were talked out of John McCain in 2000 because Karl Rove told them that McCain had an illegitimate black child, have now endorsed the Georgia version of Silvio Berlusconi. What's up with that?
Well, to begin with there's the condom-thin support for Mitt Romney. Republicans might vote for him but only in a three-way race with Barack Obama and an upholstered ottoman. You can tell you are approaching a Romney rally by the sound of snoring. The Obama haters (and South Carolina has more than its share) might like Mitt but they don't like him a lot. He's a Northerner trying to be Southern...a rich guy trying to act middle class...a Mormon trying to act Christian. (Hey, I think Mormons are Christians but what do I know?) The Southern Obama-haters don't want conversations about policy and economics. They want Barack Obama hanged, drawn and quartered.
So just about the time that South Carolina is ready to sigh, shrug their collective shoulders and vote for Romney, Newt Gingrich challenges John King to a duel. During the CNN sponsored debate last week, King had the gall to confront Gingrich with the story everyone was talking about. Gingrich's ex-wife Marianne (#2 for those keeping score) had given an interview to ABC News revealing the sordid details of her marriage to Newt. Secure in the knowledge that the best defense is a good offense, Newt attacked Mr. King for beginning a presidential debate with such prurient stuff. Newt was betting that the crowd in the auditorium and the teabaggers in South Carolina hate the media more than they love the teachings of Christianity. Something like:
"How dare you remind these good people that I divorced not one wife but two wives while they were each battling serious illnesses. Only a scurrilous cad would discuss my affairs with: wife #2 while married to wife #1 and, wife #3 while married to wife #2. What sort of unprincipled bounder would mention that I have preached celibacy and family values for the entire time that I was waving my Jesus-loving Republican penis at any and every woman in this great country. You, sir are no gentleman."
The crowd went wild. Finally, someone who was willing to put those fact-checking, truth-telling, Obama-loving media liberals in their place. At last, a candidate who would prove that serial adultery could be a plus if only you yell loud enough. Don't confuse the issue with facts. The issue isn't that I'm a pig. The issue is that only a biased media would bring up my piggishness. Every redneck peckerwood who ever came home too late smelling of cheap perfume and attempted to lie his way out of trouble knew they had a champion. If Newt Gingrich could bluff and bluster his way around two ex-wives he could easily be the kind of vicious, rancorous, malicious campaigner the GOP needs in the fall. Remember the South doesn't want President Obama beaten they want him crushed, pulverized and sent back to Kenya in a envelope. Gingrich may not win in November but the Democrats will know they were in a fight. Hey, why take George Marshall when you can have George Patton?
Monday, January 23, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
...or should we not refer to the aniversary of Roe v. Wade as a seminal event?
January 22 marks the 39th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision known as Roe v. Wade. For those of you too young (or too old) to remember back to 1973, Jane Roe (real name Norma McCorvey) sued in federal court in Dallas to have the 1847 Texas anti-abortion law overturned as unconstitutional. Henry B. Wade was the Dallas County District Attorney. By the time the case was decided by the Supremes (by a vote of 7 to 2), McCorvey's daughter was two years old. The rest, as we say, is histrionics.
Beginning the next day and everyday since, the religious right, the Catholic Church and every politician wishing to curry favor with those two groups have been protesting. Some of those protests are merely annoying. Some are disgusting. A few are dangerous. Abortion clinics have been bombed, health care workers have been brutally assaulted and in July of 2009 Dr. George Tiller was murdered in a church in Wichita, KS; all in the name of protecting the unborn. Interestingly enough there have been no suicide bombings. I guess Christian crazies aren't as dedicated as their Muslim brothers.
So for the last 38 years Washington DC has been the host city for the March For Life. Everyone who thinks that they have the right to tell women what their morality should look like will descend on the Capital and chant. The fetus photo vendors will do a brisk business as well as the pig blood concessionaires. No doubt, the pro choice legion will also appear to express their support for what they consider settled law. But hey, this is America. If tens of thousands of young people can assemble on the National Mall to chuckle at Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert why not the anti-abortion crowd? After all, maybe a few protesters will hook up and create a few babies not to abort.
There is one question however, that has vexed this humble blogger ever since Justice Harry Blackmun issued the majority decision back in '73. With all the commotion coming from the Christian right, why no support for birth control? Alongside the placards of happy fetuses why no condoms with smiley faces? Next to people yelling "abortion is murder" why not a chorus of "Quasense makes good sense"? Really, a few people in the crowd dressed as Trojans will tell a stronger message than demonstrators in bloody lab coats.
And where are the pharmaceutical companies in all this? There would seem to be a natural symbiosis between those trying to uphold the rights of the unborn and those companies whose livelihoods depend on America's youth not being able to keep it in their pants. The battle cry of the anti-abortion crowd ought to be "take a pill, wear a raincoat...problem solved". Companies like Merck, Bayer and Barr Labs should have tents on the Mall explaining how birth control pills could close abortion clinics within a year. Church and Dwight, distributors of Trojans, America's #1 condom, could have latex-clad actors working the crowd handing out little packets of protection.
Dream on, my friends. No one in Jesus-land will ever acknowledge that the best way to stop abortions is to prevent unwanted pregnancies to begin with. And the best way prevent pregnancies is not, repeat not, abstinence or praying or locking your teenage daughters in a church until they marry. If you want to stop abortions, teach your kids about sex and explain how easy it is to prevent not-so-blessed events. Education and honesty doesn't promote promiscuity, it promotes responsibility. Give your daughters some credit. Demystify sex. Now that a good saying for a placard.
Beginning the next day and everyday since, the religious right, the Catholic Church and every politician wishing to curry favor with those two groups have been protesting. Some of those protests are merely annoying. Some are disgusting. A few are dangerous. Abortion clinics have been bombed, health care workers have been brutally assaulted and in July of 2009 Dr. George Tiller was murdered in a church in Wichita, KS; all in the name of protecting the unborn. Interestingly enough there have been no suicide bombings. I guess Christian crazies aren't as dedicated as their Muslim brothers.
So for the last 38 years Washington DC has been the host city for the March For Life. Everyone who thinks that they have the right to tell women what their morality should look like will descend on the Capital and chant. The fetus photo vendors will do a brisk business as well as the pig blood concessionaires. No doubt, the pro choice legion will also appear to express their support for what they consider settled law. But hey, this is America. If tens of thousands of young people can assemble on the National Mall to chuckle at Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert why not the anti-abortion crowd? After all, maybe a few protesters will hook up and create a few babies not to abort.
There is one question however, that has vexed this humble blogger ever since Justice Harry Blackmun issued the majority decision back in '73. With all the commotion coming from the Christian right, why no support for birth control? Alongside the placards of happy fetuses why no condoms with smiley faces? Next to people yelling "abortion is murder" why not a chorus of "Quasense makes good sense"? Really, a few people in the crowd dressed as Trojans will tell a stronger message than demonstrators in bloody lab coats.
And where are the pharmaceutical companies in all this? There would seem to be a natural symbiosis between those trying to uphold the rights of the unborn and those companies whose livelihoods depend on America's youth not being able to keep it in their pants. The battle cry of the anti-abortion crowd ought to be "take a pill, wear a raincoat...problem solved". Companies like Merck, Bayer and Barr Labs should have tents on the Mall explaining how birth control pills could close abortion clinics within a year. Church and Dwight, distributors of Trojans, America's #1 condom, could have latex-clad actors working the crowd handing out little packets of protection.
Dream on, my friends. No one in Jesus-land will ever acknowledge that the best way to stop abortions is to prevent unwanted pregnancies to begin with. And the best way prevent pregnancies is not, repeat not, abstinence or praying or locking your teenage daughters in a church until they marry. If you want to stop abortions, teach your kids about sex and explain how easy it is to prevent not-so-blessed events. Education and honesty doesn't promote promiscuity, it promotes responsibility. Give your daughters some credit. Demystify sex. Now that a good saying for a placard.
Monday, January 16, 2012
...or will chargers soon be available in bathroom stalls so people can read their i-phones?
Things that happened while the GOP candidates were traveling from New Hampshire to South Carolina:
Doing nothing for the stereotype
In Warsaw, Poland last week an Army Colonel tried to shoot himself in his office and missed. Col. Mikolaj Przybyl called reporters into his office to defend his work as a military prosecutor. Asking to be left alone for a moment the reporters heard a shot. Col.Przybyl was wounded (he didn't miss completely) but will recover. Well, he will recover his health. The same cannot be said for his dignity. The Polish Army has initiated a new intensive marksmanship program which will include an explanation of end of a pistol fires the projectile. As for the hospitalized colonel, the Polish government has asked that, in lieu of flowers, send vowels.
___________________________________________________________________
Where are they now?
Well, we know what happened to Joe Hazelwood. The former captain of the Exxon Valdez has apparently landed a great gig training ships captains for Costa Crociere, owners of the Costa Concordia. In case you haven't seen the Costa Concordia, a birds eye view is available from the western shore of Italy. You can look right down the stacks. It appears that the captain, one Francesco Schettino, wanted a closer look at some beachfront property he was thinking of buying and strayed just a bit too close to shore.
The Italian crew of the damaged ship responded exactly as you would expect from barely trained minimum wage workers. Their scant knowledge of the lifeboats was just sufficient to allow them to jump in and escape. Most of the crew were in a hotel bar on the Tuscan island of Giglio before the passengers realized there was a problem. The captain, who is currently commanding a jail cell in Rome, maintains that he acted properly. Proper action unfortunately, did not include going down with his ship. He was futility directing evacuation efforts from a cafe in Athens. In retirement, Winston Churchill was asked why he preferred Italian cruise ships to the Brittish. He gave three reasons 1) the food, 2) the service, 3) " in time of an emergency there's none of this nonsense about women and children first".
It is impossible not to note that this tragedy happened just three months shy of the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic. In the intervening years we have made great strides in both ship safety and crew training. Chiefly, we have learned to sink our cruise ships closer to shore and in slightly warmer water. We have also improved crew training. When the Titanic went down, 693 crewmen went with her, 68% of the total. By 2012 not a single crewman was lost.
Full disclosure. One crewman was apparently lost. It was discovered on Thursday that a member of the ship's orchestra drowned when he attempted to retrieve his violin. Talk about selfless!
The moral of this story is, check the pedigree of the crew before you take a cruise. If they look like they got their training by watching episodes of Gilligan's Island, take a train.
__________________________________________________________________
All Hat no Cattle
Rick Perry is out. Governor Perry was the gift that kept on giving and the loss of his Stetson in the ring will be missed. Nevertheless, like the pantheon of wannabees before him, Rick gave America a glimpse of what a candidate should and should not do if he (or she) wishes to be taken seriously as a presidential candidate:
1) If you're going to recommend elimination of specific government agencies and there are only three, you might want to either remember them or write them down. Jesus, Ron Paul can rattle off five and he's 77 years old. Perry wanted to eliminate the Education Dept but based on his debate performance he may wish to rethink that idea.
2) Stay on your meds. Seriously, some of Gov. Perry's speeches sounded as though they came straight out of One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest. There's a difference between "off the leash" and rabies.
3) Try not to dumb down the contest to the point where even teabaggers question your intelligence. Conservatives don't mind actually being stupid. They just don't want to appear stupid on TV...all the time.
4) Stop acting as though your home state were somehow a qualification; especially if you are from a place where men wear cowboy boots with a suit.
So hasta la vista Governor Perry. The music stopped and there was no chair for you. Thanks for playing. Here's a copy of the home game. Don't forget to tip your campaign manager. I'm sure the people of the great state of Texas will someday forgive you for reinforcing all the stereotypes we already had about them.
___________________________________________________________________
Light at the End of the Tunnel
Just when you thought that your television had morphed into a festering cesspool of reality shows that proved the only people more depraved than the contestants were the audience, along comes Downton Abby. Currently in its second season, this Brit Lit production is garnering a large and loyal following both here and across the pond. It would appear that aspirational Americans like to imagine themselves as lords and ladies of the manner even if most of the audience should more properly identify with the laundresses and the footmen.
Although the series owes much to Upstairs Downstairs and even Remains of the Day, Downton Abby is original material. No Jane Austin, no Emily Bronte. Even Anthony Hopkins stayed away. Apparently the American fascination with the British upper class and their servants is more enduring than we thought.
Considering that the last time most Americans tuned into PBS was to watch reruns of Benny Hill, Downton Abby has at least reminded us that we have something called Public Television. Having been told by Fox News that PBS is a den of communist liberals, the public now knows that there are actually good shows over there beside Sesame Street. Anyway, Sesame Street is clearly a cauldron of liberal ideas; Bert and Ernie living together being only the most obvious. However, any programming that pulls people out of TMZ and Bridezilla has to be a force for good. So pip, pip and good show Downton Abby. Even without the Ministry of Silly Walks and the Dead Parrot, Britian still rules the waves...well, the airwaves anyway.
Doing nothing for the stereotype
In Warsaw, Poland last week an Army Colonel tried to shoot himself in his office and missed. Col. Mikolaj Przybyl called reporters into his office to defend his work as a military prosecutor. Asking to be left alone for a moment the reporters heard a shot. Col.Przybyl was wounded (he didn't miss completely) but will recover. Well, he will recover his health. The same cannot be said for his dignity. The Polish Army has initiated a new intensive marksmanship program which will include an explanation of end of a pistol fires the projectile. As for the hospitalized colonel, the Polish government has asked that, in lieu of flowers, send vowels.
___________________________________________________________________
Where are they now?
Well, we know what happened to Joe Hazelwood. The former captain of the Exxon Valdez has apparently landed a great gig training ships captains for Costa Crociere, owners of the Costa Concordia. In case you haven't seen the Costa Concordia, a birds eye view is available from the western shore of Italy. You can look right down the stacks. It appears that the captain, one Francesco Schettino, wanted a closer look at some beachfront property he was thinking of buying and strayed just a bit too close to shore.
The Italian crew of the damaged ship responded exactly as you would expect from barely trained minimum wage workers. Their scant knowledge of the lifeboats was just sufficient to allow them to jump in and escape. Most of the crew were in a hotel bar on the Tuscan island of Giglio before the passengers realized there was a problem. The captain, who is currently commanding a jail cell in Rome, maintains that he acted properly. Proper action unfortunately, did not include going down with his ship. He was futility directing evacuation efforts from a cafe in Athens. In retirement, Winston Churchill was asked why he preferred Italian cruise ships to the Brittish. He gave three reasons 1) the food, 2) the service, 3) " in time of an emergency there's none of this nonsense about women and children first".
It is impossible not to note that this tragedy happened just three months shy of the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic. In the intervening years we have made great strides in both ship safety and crew training. Chiefly, we have learned to sink our cruise ships closer to shore and in slightly warmer water. We have also improved crew training. When the Titanic went down, 693 crewmen went with her, 68% of the total. By 2012 not a single crewman was lost.
Full disclosure. One crewman was apparently lost. It was discovered on Thursday that a member of the ship's orchestra drowned when he attempted to retrieve his violin. Talk about selfless!
The moral of this story is, check the pedigree of the crew before you take a cruise. If they look like they got their training by watching episodes of Gilligan's Island, take a train.
__________________________________________________________________
All Hat no Cattle
Rick Perry is out. Governor Perry was the gift that kept on giving and the loss of his Stetson in the ring will be missed. Nevertheless, like the pantheon of wannabees before him, Rick gave America a glimpse of what a candidate should and should not do if he (or she) wishes to be taken seriously as a presidential candidate:
1) If you're going to recommend elimination of specific government agencies and there are only three, you might want to either remember them or write them down. Jesus, Ron Paul can rattle off five and he's 77 years old. Perry wanted to eliminate the Education Dept but based on his debate performance he may wish to rethink that idea.
2) Stay on your meds. Seriously, some of Gov. Perry's speeches sounded as though they came straight out of One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest. There's a difference between "off the leash" and rabies.
3) Try not to dumb down the contest to the point where even teabaggers question your intelligence. Conservatives don't mind actually being stupid. They just don't want to appear stupid on TV...all the time.
4) Stop acting as though your home state were somehow a qualification; especially if you are from a place where men wear cowboy boots with a suit.
So hasta la vista Governor Perry. The music stopped and there was no chair for you. Thanks for playing. Here's a copy of the home game. Don't forget to tip your campaign manager. I'm sure the people of the great state of Texas will someday forgive you for reinforcing all the stereotypes we already had about them.
___________________________________________________________________
Light at the End of the Tunnel
Just when you thought that your television had morphed into a festering cesspool of reality shows that proved the only people more depraved than the contestants were the audience, along comes Downton Abby. Currently in its second season, this Brit Lit production is garnering a large and loyal following both here and across the pond. It would appear that aspirational Americans like to imagine themselves as lords and ladies of the manner even if most of the audience should more properly identify with the laundresses and the footmen.
Although the series owes much to Upstairs Downstairs and even Remains of the Day, Downton Abby is original material. No Jane Austin, no Emily Bronte. Even Anthony Hopkins stayed away. Apparently the American fascination with the British upper class and their servants is more enduring than we thought.
Considering that the last time most Americans tuned into PBS was to watch reruns of Benny Hill, Downton Abby has at least reminded us that we have something called Public Television. Having been told by Fox News that PBS is a den of communist liberals, the public now knows that there are actually good shows over there beside Sesame Street. Anyway, Sesame Street is clearly a cauldron of liberal ideas; Bert and Ernie living together being only the most obvious. However, any programming that pulls people out of TMZ and Bridezilla has to be a force for good. So pip, pip and good show Downton Abby. Even without the Ministry of Silly Walks and the Dead Parrot, Britian still rules the waves...well, the airwaves anyway.
...or do the teabaggers look lost without a head for their tri-corn hats?
Jonney we hardly knew ya.
Jon Huntsman has withdrawn his hat (not a colonial one) from the ring of presidential aspirants. As such, he joins one of the two groups of hopefuls who began the quest to defeat Barack Obama back around Jan 21, 2009. Huntsman's campaign tracked a similar path to that of Mitch Daniels and Tim Paulenty, namely a rational moderate politician who held rational moderate Republican beliefs in contrast to the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Tragically, these poor mopes never had a chance. Their intelligent tone was doomed to be drowned out by the second group of presidential aspirants: the Bat-Shit Crazies aka, the BSC's. The candidacies of Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich guaranteed that no candidate with an IQ in two-digits would ever get a fair hearing. (Yes, Mitt Romney is a moderate but he has been running since 2007 and can barely garner 25% of the party. He's the cousin your mother made you take to the prom.)
Presumably South Carolina will sweep the remaining BSC candidates out of the race. That will give Mitt about ten months to drag the GOP back from BSC land. There are lots of things for Republicans to dislike about Barack Obama without: questioning his citizenship, demonizing his family or impugning his patriotism. Romney can be counted upon to keep the discourse close to the Marquess of Queensberry rules. Still, those of us who want our political leaders to at least look sane will miss Jon Huntsman.
Huntsman's unpardonable sin was his irrational rationality. Sleeping with the enemy can be forgiven but becoming the enemy's ambassador to China was beyond the pale. What kind of a Republican actually acknowledges that the other side might be right...about anything? If the hated Democrat in the White House alleges that the sky is blue (clearly another example of junk science) any conservative worth his salt must immediately offer a contrary opinion and insist that only a socialist, class warrior would say such a thing. Huntsman added a sort of anti-Fox News demeanor to the debate that conservatives found maddening. After all, who wants to hear Jon Huntsman's even-tempered response to a question when BSC quote machines like Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich are available? If the GOP wants vanilla, there's always Mitt.
Huntsman's weak-assed campaign should be a warning to future aspirants to the Republican throne. Intelligence is out. Reason is for losers. If you want to rise in the polls, bury your diploma, disavow any compromise with the enemy and dumb down your vocabulary (and for God's sake don't speak French or Mandarin.) Never put out a fire with water. Always use gasoline. Blaming your opponent is always the right answer, even if the question is "Could you please tell me the time?" Always look angry and, if possible, constipated (it seems to work for Newt.) Remember, dumb people vote. The way to get them to vote for you is never make them feel you're not one of them. Even if you don't get to be President, you can always run for Governor of Texas.
Jon Huntsman has withdrawn his hat (not a colonial one) from the ring of presidential aspirants. As such, he joins one of the two groups of hopefuls who began the quest to defeat Barack Obama back around Jan 21, 2009. Huntsman's campaign tracked a similar path to that of Mitch Daniels and Tim Paulenty, namely a rational moderate politician who held rational moderate Republican beliefs in contrast to the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Tragically, these poor mopes never had a chance. Their intelligent tone was doomed to be drowned out by the second group of presidential aspirants: the Bat-Shit Crazies aka, the BSC's. The candidacies of Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich guaranteed that no candidate with an IQ in two-digits would ever get a fair hearing. (Yes, Mitt Romney is a moderate but he has been running since 2007 and can barely garner 25% of the party. He's the cousin your mother made you take to the prom.)
Presumably South Carolina will sweep the remaining BSC candidates out of the race. That will give Mitt about ten months to drag the GOP back from BSC land. There are lots of things for Republicans to dislike about Barack Obama without: questioning his citizenship, demonizing his family or impugning his patriotism. Romney can be counted upon to keep the discourse close to the Marquess of Queensberry rules. Still, those of us who want our political leaders to at least look sane will miss Jon Huntsman.
Huntsman's unpardonable sin was his irrational rationality. Sleeping with the enemy can be forgiven but becoming the enemy's ambassador to China was beyond the pale. What kind of a Republican actually acknowledges that the other side might be right...about anything? If the hated Democrat in the White House alleges that the sky is blue (clearly another example of junk science) any conservative worth his salt must immediately offer a contrary opinion and insist that only a socialist, class warrior would say such a thing. Huntsman added a sort of anti-Fox News demeanor to the debate that conservatives found maddening. After all, who wants to hear Jon Huntsman's even-tempered response to a question when BSC quote machines like Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich are available? If the GOP wants vanilla, there's always Mitt.
Huntsman's weak-assed campaign should be a warning to future aspirants to the Republican throne. Intelligence is out. Reason is for losers. If you want to rise in the polls, bury your diploma, disavow any compromise with the enemy and dumb down your vocabulary (and for God's sake don't speak French or Mandarin.) Never put out a fire with water. Always use gasoline. Blaming your opponent is always the right answer, even if the question is "Could you please tell me the time?" Always look angry and, if possible, constipated (it seems to work for Newt.) Remember, dumb people vote. The way to get them to vote for you is never make them feel you're not one of them. Even if you don't get to be President, you can always run for Governor of Texas.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
...or is Rick Santorum just Ned Flanders without the mustache?
Be afraid...be very afraid! Rick Santorum is coming for your birth control pills.
I've never understood Republicans. They rail against big government and the evils of "regulation" when those regulations attempt to ensure clean water and air. They bemoan "government interference" when government wants food inspected or airplanes properly maintained. They cry real tears when the EPA prohibits drilling into Eskimos or polar bears for oil. Government and taxes are always the reason why America is lagging in job creation and world economics.
However, once we start talking about social issues (abortion, birth control, rap music, movies, etc.) government is always the answer. Government should regulate porn on the internet. (I agree, the production values are lousy.) Government should demand that kids pray in school. Government should never let gays marry. Big Brother should prohibit the sale or distribution of condoms to anyone under 21. Government should never allow the legalization of marijuana and should continue its amazingly successful war on drugs. Face it: if government action is beneficial to the society as a whole, the Republicans hate it. If government action interferes with mostly harmless vices, the GOP loves it. What's up with that?
As we have seen from the rather public peccadillo's of Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich, it's not like Republicans don't like to be naughty. I guess they figure that it's no fun if it's legal. Memo to Newt: It is unlikely that serial philandering will ever curry much favor with rank and file conservatives. The GOP complains about the Democratic nanny state which attempts to control citizen salt intake but they welcome the Inquisition where sex and behavior are concerned.
Enter Rick Santorum.
Unlike Mitt Romney who wishes to downplay his religious preferences, Santorum wants to shout his Catholicism from the rooftops. Santorum is apparently betting that America (or at least South Carolina) would rather have a crazy-ass Catholic than a modest Mormon. Rick believes that, at the end of the day, Southerners will tolerate a religion run by the Pope as opposed to one lead by Stephen Veazey, whose title is Prophet-President Designate.In literature this is known as distinction without difference. Deciding which grand poobah talks to God most often and which group has the inside track to heaven is South Carolina's favorite sport.
Oddly enough, there was a time in the not too distant past when a Catholic in SC had an excellent chance of sharing a tree with a negro. Catholics were as popular as Yankees. In 1960, Jack Kennedy was so reviled for his faith that, even during a time when the South was solidly Democratic, Kennedy barely beat Nixon. Kennedy never denied his faith but he rarely ever mentioned it. Not only was it toxic, it was considered bad form. Nixon, to his credit, never tried to make it an issue.
Santorum on the other hand, might as well wear a miter and stole. Because he wants his Catholicism to be an issue we should oblige him and make it one. You do not want this Catholic in the White House. America doesn't need any religious orthodoxy running the country but particulatly this one. The Catholic Church's treatment of women and gays, not to mention its disregard for the laws on child abuse, is testimony to its twisted concept of how to lead a congregation to salvation. Mormons might believe in sacred underwear (Seriously, sacred boxers. Don't believe me? Look it up.) but at least their leaders aren't candidates for mug shots. Santorum is the most recent example of how the Roman Church has attempted to bully its way into the political discourse. In 2004 the bishop of St. Louis, Raymond Burke, forbade candidate John Kerry from taking communion because of his pro-abortion stance. He also virtually excommunicated Louise Lears of the Sisters of Charity for the unpardonable sin of suggesting that women be ordained. No such verdict was ever imposed on any pedophile; priest or otherwise.
Like the Republican party, the Church in Rome has been co-opted by its most right-wing forces.
Thanks to the over-long pontificate of John Paul II the entire College of Cardinals is one reactionary cabal. The current Vicar of St. Peter has only made it worse. (This should be no surprise. Benedict XVI's last job before Pope was Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith...formerly known by its more casual title...the Inquisition.)
The current church and its henchmen would only be too happy to advise President Santorum on how to run America. Think of it like Ireland only without the nifty music. Abortion would be illegal as would a woman's right to contraception. Divorce will be impossibly rare. Naturally, only men will be able to file for one. No one need fear Sharia Law. Cannon Law will be far worse. (Except that, like Sharia, the Jews will be blamed for everything.)
Fortunately, American Catholics have a long, time-honored tradition of ignoring the rantings of the Vicar of Christ. 85% of Catholic Americans practice or approve of birth control. About half think Roe v. Wade is established law and, while distasteful, is mostly OK. Catholics stopped believing that a hot dog on Friday will send you to hell about the same time we stopped believing in Santa Claus. Many still attend mass but do so mostly out of habit or as a social event. In the U.S., Catholicism is mostly what Catholics say it is...long on tradition and ceremony, short on practical life advice. After all, who wants to take marital advice from a confirmed bachelor? Who needs counsel on child rearing from men whose exposure to kids is limited to exposing themselves to kids. (OK that's harsh.)
Anyway, it remains a conundrum that the Christian South, long haters of "papists" has been forced to support a Catholic in order to uphold its Christian values. That's like the National Rifle Assoc. hiring Micheal Moore to film their documentary. Can I get an AMEN?
I've never understood Republicans. They rail against big government and the evils of "regulation" when those regulations attempt to ensure clean water and air. They bemoan "government interference" when government wants food inspected or airplanes properly maintained. They cry real tears when the EPA prohibits drilling into Eskimos or polar bears for oil. Government and taxes are always the reason why America is lagging in job creation and world economics.
However, once we start talking about social issues (abortion, birth control, rap music, movies, etc.) government is always the answer. Government should regulate porn on the internet. (I agree, the production values are lousy.) Government should demand that kids pray in school. Government should never let gays marry. Big Brother should prohibit the sale or distribution of condoms to anyone under 21. Government should never allow the legalization of marijuana and should continue its amazingly successful war on drugs. Face it: if government action is beneficial to the society as a whole, the Republicans hate it. If government action interferes with mostly harmless vices, the GOP loves it. What's up with that?
As we have seen from the rather public peccadillo's of Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich, it's not like Republicans don't like to be naughty. I guess they figure that it's no fun if it's legal. Memo to Newt: It is unlikely that serial philandering will ever curry much favor with rank and file conservatives. The GOP complains about the Democratic nanny state which attempts to control citizen salt intake but they welcome the Inquisition where sex and behavior are concerned.
Enter Rick Santorum.
Unlike Mitt Romney who wishes to downplay his religious preferences, Santorum wants to shout his Catholicism from the rooftops. Santorum is apparently betting that America (or at least South Carolina) would rather have a crazy-ass Catholic than a modest Mormon. Rick believes that, at the end of the day, Southerners will tolerate a religion run by the Pope as opposed to one lead by Stephen Veazey, whose title is Prophet-President Designate.In literature this is known as distinction without difference. Deciding which grand poobah talks to God most often and which group has the inside track to heaven is South Carolina's favorite sport.
Oddly enough, there was a time in the not too distant past when a Catholic in SC had an excellent chance of sharing a tree with a negro. Catholics were as popular as Yankees. In 1960, Jack Kennedy was so reviled for his faith that, even during a time when the South was solidly Democratic, Kennedy barely beat Nixon. Kennedy never denied his faith but he rarely ever mentioned it. Not only was it toxic, it was considered bad form. Nixon, to his credit, never tried to make it an issue.
Santorum on the other hand, might as well wear a miter and stole. Because he wants his Catholicism to be an issue we should oblige him and make it one. You do not want this Catholic in the White House. America doesn't need any religious orthodoxy running the country but particulatly this one. The Catholic Church's treatment of women and gays, not to mention its disregard for the laws on child abuse, is testimony to its twisted concept of how to lead a congregation to salvation. Mormons might believe in sacred underwear (Seriously, sacred boxers. Don't believe me? Look it up.) but at least their leaders aren't candidates for mug shots. Santorum is the most recent example of how the Roman Church has attempted to bully its way into the political discourse. In 2004 the bishop of St. Louis, Raymond Burke, forbade candidate John Kerry from taking communion because of his pro-abortion stance. He also virtually excommunicated Louise Lears of the Sisters of Charity for the unpardonable sin of suggesting that women be ordained. No such verdict was ever imposed on any pedophile; priest or otherwise.
Like the Republican party, the Church in Rome has been co-opted by its most right-wing forces.
Thanks to the over-long pontificate of John Paul II the entire College of Cardinals is one reactionary cabal. The current Vicar of St. Peter has only made it worse. (This should be no surprise. Benedict XVI's last job before Pope was Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith...formerly known by its more casual title...the Inquisition.)
The current church and its henchmen would only be too happy to advise President Santorum on how to run America. Think of it like Ireland only without the nifty music. Abortion would be illegal as would a woman's right to contraception. Divorce will be impossibly rare. Naturally, only men will be able to file for one. No one need fear Sharia Law. Cannon Law will be far worse. (Except that, like Sharia, the Jews will be blamed for everything.)
Fortunately, American Catholics have a long, time-honored tradition of ignoring the rantings of the Vicar of Christ. 85% of Catholic Americans practice or approve of birth control. About half think Roe v. Wade is established law and, while distasteful, is mostly OK. Catholics stopped believing that a hot dog on Friday will send you to hell about the same time we stopped believing in Santa Claus. Many still attend mass but do so mostly out of habit or as a social event. In the U.S., Catholicism is mostly what Catholics say it is...long on tradition and ceremony, short on practical life advice. After all, who wants to take marital advice from a confirmed bachelor? Who needs counsel on child rearing from men whose exposure to kids is limited to exposing themselves to kids. (OK that's harsh.)
Anyway, it remains a conundrum that the Christian South, long haters of "papists" has been forced to support a Catholic in order to uphold its Christian values. That's like the National Rifle Assoc. hiring Micheal Moore to film their documentary. Can I get an AMEN?
Monday, January 02, 2012
... or does the end of Christmas mean the blessed end of the Iowa caucuses?
Honestly, is the battle of the insignificant in the state of the irrelevant almost over? Enough about the people of Iowa already. As of Wednesday Jan 11 the corncobbers of the Hawkeye State can return to the obscurity they clearly seek by living in Iowa. Why do we care? They once voted for Pat Robertson. That should tell you all you need to know. In what other state would Rick Santorum be a credible candidate? He speaks like the reincarnation of Christine O'Donnell.
Anyway, in a few days we can begin to forget that there is a small insignificant land mass between Illinois and Nebraska. We can then obsess about New Hampshire for a month.
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The close of the Christmas season also means we will be spared any more ads from Lexus featuring people who give $50,000 cars as Christmas presents. This year's ads feature the jingle that Lexus thinks has become synonymous with their cars; like Gershwin and United Air Lines. People just like us are given a music box or a CD and immediately rush into the driveway looking for their GS 460.
People: a little reality please. If someone gave you a music box that played the theme from Gilligan's Island would you think you got a boat...or an island? Does the playing of "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" send you on a frantic search for a little blue box? In the real world, hearing "Let it Snow" probably means you got another ugly sweater... or a shovel. Sorry.
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Anyway, in a few days we can begin to forget that there is a small insignificant land mass between Illinois and Nebraska. We can then obsess about New Hampshire for a month.
__________________________________________________________________
The close of the Christmas season also means we will be spared any more ads from Lexus featuring people who give $50,000 cars as Christmas presents. This year's ads feature the jingle that Lexus thinks has become synonymous with their cars; like Gershwin and United Air Lines. People just like us are given a music box or a CD and immediately rush into the driveway looking for their GS 460.
People: a little reality please. If someone gave you a music box that played the theme from Gilligan's Island would you think you got a boat...or an island? Does the playing of "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend" send you on a frantic search for a little blue box? In the real world, hearing "Let it Snow" probably means you got another ugly sweater... or a shovel. Sorry.
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