Everyone who read Satanic Verses raise your hands.
That's what I thought, nobody.
How about "Shalomar the Clown"?
Even the most pretentious among us (and that could easily be me) would find it difficult to wade through any of Salman Rushdie's oeuvre. But that didn't stop Queen Elizabeth II. As part of her birthday celebration on June twenty-third (This is interesting in and of itself. The Queen was born on April 21. Don't ask me...ask a Brit.) HRM bestowed a knighthood on Sir Salman. Rushdie isn't the first author to receive a knighthood (Walter Scott became one for writing about them). He may however be the first British author to have the entire Muslim world hunting his scalp.
As you may remember, the mullahs in Iran took exception to his portrayal of the prophet Mohammad in Satanic Verses. Well at least someone read the book! The death sentence imposed by a raging towel head in sandland was better for book sales than a kiss from Oprah. Most critics just employ a poison pen. Muslims were instructed to use real poison. (One could only imagine the uproar if the Pope issued a papal "fatwa" on say, Christopher Hitchens.) Anyway, so far Sir Salman is still breathing although each year he receives a Christmas card from Tehran reminding him not to stroll near any mosques.
I'm confident that the 30 or so people who have actually read any of Rushdie's thirteen books will attest to his skill as an author but, as an old Anglophile, I find the conferring of knighthood on Sir Salman just a bit off-putting. The British Crown is handing out titles with abandon. The Round Table will have to be moved out of doors to handle the crowd. I think you are eligible for Knighthood with a purchase of $50 or more at the British Museum Gift Shop.
Included among the honorees this year are Christiana Amanpour and Barry Humphries, better known to the cross-dressing crowd as Dame Edna. (One can just imagine what outfit Sir Barry wore to the investiture.) Hundreds of people get recognized every year. If Queen Liz has to tap each knight on the shoulder with a heavy sword she'd have carpel tunnel before she reached "K" in the alphabet.
Still, there are a few notables that have been overlooked. What about Robbie Coltrane? His portrayal of Hagrid in the Harry Potter films is as least as good as anything Dame Edna ever did; and he has better hair. And aren't we ignoring Dave Clark from the Dave Clark Five? And what about Benny Hill? Better get out that sword again, Mum. You still have all the Pythons to get through.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
...or has Georgia become the center of the culture war?
Nothing wakes up this reporter like a story out of the Georgia courts:
Item
Genarlow Wilson will be freed from prison within a few days having served two years of a ten year stretch. His crime was having consensual oral sex with a 15 year old girl when he was 17. The operative word here is "consensual". The law at the time left judges with little sentencing discretion in cases like this. It has since been changed.
The Attorney General in Georgia is black, as is the defendant, so forget the race card. This is just another example of "hang 'em all and let God sort them out" justice that has gripped America in this new Conservative Christian Era. And just when we were applauding the Peach State for maintaining the integrity of public schools by retaining copies of the Harry Potter books in the school libraries.
Genarlow could still be charged with having oral sex. Yes, my friends, oral sex is still a crime in Georgia and 18 other states including Florida, Massachusetts, Minnesota and the District of Columbia. (Congress prefers its screwing the old fashioned way...with legislation.)
Still you would think that prosecutors had more important crimes to pursue than sexual experimentation among teenagers. Somebody call Ted Haggard to see if he would like to cast the first stone?
isitjustme update...FLASH... The State of Georgia is reconsidering the decision to release Mr. Wilson for fear that other sexual molesters will also petition for release. Great. Let's keep one kid in the slammer unjustly so the state won't have to deal with all of its other mistakes. I love this country.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Attend the tale of Roy Pearson. In case this obscenity has escaped your notice (that's why we're here, folks) Roy is the administrative law judge that has filed and argued a $54 million law suit over the loss of a pair of suit pants. The "suit" was filed against the Chung family who own and operate Custom Cleaners in D.C.
There is no higher purpose here. Mr. Pearson, ( hereafter referred to as a-hole of the first part) is pissed because his best suit is now a sports jacket. He has hauled the Chungs into court to make a point (besides the one on his head). The Chungs have actually offered this mope $12,000 just to go away. The question as to why any judge would hear this load of tripe is a little more complex.
Pearson has been pursuing this quest for two years. He has built his case around a sign in the cleaner's window that says "satisfaction guaranteed". I suspect that his next stop will involve a Persian carpet store displaying a "going out of business" notice.
He has fought every attempt to send him home and has presented just enough law to be granted a hearing. Judge Judith Bartnoff, of the D.C. Superior Court is expected to rule next week. One can only hope that her ruling includes forcing Mr. Pearson to wear a sandwich sign to work that reads, "I'm the moron who thinks his Men's Warehouse suit pants are worth $54 million".
Note to Mr. Pearson...Good luck finding a non-Korean cleaners the next time your threads need a press.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
It appears all but certain that Rupert Murdock will soon be the proud owner of Dow Jones and The Wall Street Journal. For comparison, think Larry Flint owning Disney or McDonald's buying Lutece.
This is a sad day, indeed. Not just because I spent 37 years telling clients about editorial integrity and trusted news sources, but because America is running perilously short of information it can believe. In broadcast, CBS News is a shell of what it was in the days of Morrow and Cronkite. CNN is suspect (just listen to Lew Dobbs) and, as for Fox News, pa...lease. In print, there are no newspapers or magazines (including the Christian Science Monitor) that haven't been attacked for biased journalism. The Wall Street Journal was the one place where the news was seen as untainted (at least by people who understand the difference between news and editorial).
The day that Murdock gets his Aussie paws on The Journal, the credibility of the content will drop by 50%. Whether or not he ever sets foot in the newsroom the perception will be that his imprimatur is as prevalent there as it is at The Weekly Standard or Fox News.
So let's all thank the Bancroft family, soon to be former owners of Dow Jones. Considering that none of these Philistines had a hand in the creation of The Journal or Barron's or anything, they can't wait to profit from them. Apparently you can't be too rich or too boorish. Enough is never enough. We all hope that their 30 pieces of silver they receive from News Corp. keep them warm at night. In one greedy move they went from being the wealthy patrons of a public trust to just another pack of coupon-clipping mansion-dwellers with too much money and too little class. It is fondly hoped that they cart their millions back to Massachusetts and Rome and wherever the hell else they reside and wallow in the anonymity they so richly deserve.
Remember what it says in Mathew, 16 (slightly altered):
"What profit it a man to suffer the lose of his immortal soul even if he gain the whole world"
... but Rupert Murdock?
Item
Genarlow Wilson will be freed from prison within a few days having served two years of a ten year stretch. His crime was having consensual oral sex with a 15 year old girl when he was 17. The operative word here is "consensual". The law at the time left judges with little sentencing discretion in cases like this. It has since been changed.
The Attorney General in Georgia is black, as is the defendant, so forget the race card. This is just another example of "hang 'em all and let God sort them out" justice that has gripped America in this new Conservative Christian Era. And just when we were applauding the Peach State for maintaining the integrity of public schools by retaining copies of the Harry Potter books in the school libraries.
Genarlow could still be charged with having oral sex. Yes, my friends, oral sex is still a crime in Georgia and 18 other states including Florida, Massachusetts, Minnesota and the District of Columbia. (Congress prefers its screwing the old fashioned way...with legislation.)
Still you would think that prosecutors had more important crimes to pursue than sexual experimentation among teenagers. Somebody call Ted Haggard to see if he would like to cast the first stone?
isitjustme update...FLASH... The State of Georgia is reconsidering the decision to release Mr. Wilson for fear that other sexual molesters will also petition for release. Great. Let's keep one kid in the slammer unjustly so the state won't have to deal with all of its other mistakes. I love this country.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Attend the tale of Roy Pearson. In case this obscenity has escaped your notice (that's why we're here, folks) Roy is the administrative law judge that has filed and argued a $54 million law suit over the loss of a pair of suit pants. The "suit" was filed against the Chung family who own and operate Custom Cleaners in D.C.
There is no higher purpose here. Mr. Pearson, ( hereafter referred to as a-hole of the first part) is pissed because his best suit is now a sports jacket. He has hauled the Chungs into court to make a point (besides the one on his head). The Chungs have actually offered this mope $12,000 just to go away. The question as to why any judge would hear this load of tripe is a little more complex.
Pearson has been pursuing this quest for two years. He has built his case around a sign in the cleaner's window that says "satisfaction guaranteed". I suspect that his next stop will involve a Persian carpet store displaying a "going out of business" notice.
He has fought every attempt to send him home and has presented just enough law to be granted a hearing. Judge Judith Bartnoff, of the D.C. Superior Court is expected to rule next week. One can only hope that her ruling includes forcing Mr. Pearson to wear a sandwich sign to work that reads, "I'm the moron who thinks his Men's Warehouse suit pants are worth $54 million".
Note to Mr. Pearson...Good luck finding a non-Korean cleaners the next time your threads need a press.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
It appears all but certain that Rupert Murdock will soon be the proud owner of Dow Jones and The Wall Street Journal. For comparison, think Larry Flint owning Disney or McDonald's buying Lutece.
This is a sad day, indeed. Not just because I spent 37 years telling clients about editorial integrity and trusted news sources, but because America is running perilously short of information it can believe. In broadcast, CBS News is a shell of what it was in the days of Morrow and Cronkite. CNN is suspect (just listen to Lew Dobbs) and, as for Fox News, pa...lease. In print, there are no newspapers or magazines (including the Christian Science Monitor) that haven't been attacked for biased journalism. The Wall Street Journal was the one place where the news was seen as untainted (at least by people who understand the difference between news and editorial).
The day that Murdock gets his Aussie paws on The Journal, the credibility of the content will drop by 50%. Whether or not he ever sets foot in the newsroom the perception will be that his imprimatur is as prevalent there as it is at The Weekly Standard or Fox News.
So let's all thank the Bancroft family, soon to be former owners of Dow Jones. Considering that none of these Philistines had a hand in the creation of The Journal or Barron's or anything, they can't wait to profit from them. Apparently you can't be too rich or too boorish. Enough is never enough. We all hope that their 30 pieces of silver they receive from News Corp. keep them warm at night. In one greedy move they went from being the wealthy patrons of a public trust to just another pack of coupon-clipping mansion-dwellers with too much money and too little class. It is fondly hoped that they cart their millions back to Massachusetts and Rome and wherever the hell else they reside and wallow in the anonymity they so richly deserve.
Remember what it says in Mathew, 16 (slightly altered):
"What profit it a man to suffer the lose of his immortal soul even if he gain the whole world"
... but Rupert Murdock?
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