...or is the Bush administration trying to sweep the Chutzpah Awards for 2008?

Things that were going on while you were watching the Obama miracle:

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No longer interested in governing America from the Book of Scripture, President GW Bush is now running things according to the Book of Orwell. In a decision bordering on the comic, the U.S. Justice Dept. (aka Dept. of Irony) has prosecuted a fellow named Charles "Charlie" Taylor, Jr. on a charge of participating in torture.

About time, you say. The fiends that waterboarded suspected terrorists in Syria and Saudi Arabia should be made to answer for their crimes. Well, not so fast boys and girls. Mr. Taylor isn't being prosecuted for using thumb screws on Muslims. He is being called to account for crimes against the citizenry of Liberia while his father Charles Taylor Sr. was the dictator in residence. Taylor Jr. is a U.S. citizen and, amazingly enough, there is a law that allows the U.S. to prosecute Americans who torture people in other countries. (Dick Cheney might wish to consider retiring to that "undisclosed location" that he cowered in during 9-11.)

Naturally, America is on the side of the angels here. No one will rush to the defense of this creep. Between 1997 and 2003, Taylors pere and fils killed and tortured thousands of helpless citizens. In a part of the world famous for insane governmental behavior, the Taylor family makes the all star team. Nevertheless, the trial of Charles Taylor Jr. in the United States has the patina of stone-tossing in a house of glass.

The Bush Administration has used the Rendition Program as a smoke screen to torture suspected evil-doers in countries from Egypt to Indonesia. We can assume that "torture with a really good reason" will be the defense of choice in America should we decide to apply the law to senior associates of the CIA and NSA. However, as they say during those waterboarding sessions, don't hold your breath.



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President George W. Bush is apparently not satisfied with approval ratings in the teens. During his last few days in office (73 and counting) he seems determined to achieve the unachievable...single digit status. By the time he gets to Christmas, even the GPS device in his car will indicate that the country is headed in the wrong direction.


Our CinC is attempting to enact a wide array of federal regulations aimed at weakening consumer and environmental protection. The new laws would make it easier to overfish the oceans, pollute the atmosphere, increase the toxins in drinking water and blow the tops off mountains. This is the guy who supposedly had seen the light on global warning. The White House, in the person of Tony Fratto, calls the proposals "well reasoned". Sure! Assuming that your reason is to rape the environment and ensure that America continued its role as the Great Polluter. The country would be much better off if, like his predecessors, GWB just pardoned a few crooks and looted a few towels from the Oval Office toilet.



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And speaking of toilets...
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But the news isn't all bad for our departing President (Did I mention 73 days and counting?). Voters in San Francisco on Tuesday overwhelmingly defeated an effort to rename the local sewage treatment plant after Mr. Bush. Apparently even the citizens of the Peoples Republic of San Francisco were put off by the ad featuring a photo of the President and the slogan "Let's help put the number one guy on the number two building". Now that's poetry.



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Honorable mention for the Chutzpah award:


An aide to New York Governor David Patterson is blaming a $300,000 unpaid tax bill (his, not the Gov's) on a rare medical condition called late-filing syndrome. Apparently the patient, one Charles O'Byrne, is psychologically incapable of filling his tax returns on the 15th of April. And you thought "the dog ate my tax return" was weak. I am certain that the Internal Revenue Service will give this ailment all the consideration it deserves. Hint to Mr. O'Byrne: when you present your file from the Mayo Clinic attesting to your disease, attach a check for $300,000 just to be safe.



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And lest we forget, two MENSA candidates were arrested in Tennessee and charged with plotting to kill a bunch of black people including President-elect Barak Obama. The police were appaerntly put wise because the car they were driving was painted with swastikas. These sterling citizens, Paul Schlesselman of Arkansas and Daniel Cowart of Tennessee (why are these guys never from Boston or Milwaukee?) are being held without bond in a Memphis dungeon. They have pled not guilty to the conspiracy charges. If there's any justice in the world, these two geniuses will be sentenced to a lifetime of watching PBS and reruns of The Cosby Show.

...or am I the only one who thinks change means change, as in, something different?

Major Frank Burns once said that individualism is great as long as we all do it together. The American corollary theory seems to be that change is great as long as everything remains the same.



The candidacy and possible election of Barak Obama has given this country a gander at what change looks like and it's scaring the hell out of them. Naturally, Republican strategists are making the most of that fear. People who can't afford their mortgage payments are being told to worry about the capital gains taxes for multimillionaires. Americans who can't take their kids to a local doctor are worried about Joe the Plumber's ability to buy a fictitious business. Jesus Christ, people; the bank is about to take your house away and you're worried about Barak Obama taking your guns away. Beam me up Scotty. There's no intelligent life on this planet.



Today's Wall Street Journal has an editorial bemoaning the fate of H. Wayne Huizenga who is threatening to sell half of his ownership in the Miami Dolphins Football team because Obama is campaigning to raise his taxes. Well boo friggin hoo! Huizenga is a self-made gazillionaire (he made his money in garbage) who bought his portion of the football team in a fire sale in 1990. He has remade the investment fifty times over. Let's all have a pancake breakfast to raise a little cash for poor old Wayne so he can pay his taxes.



The Journal would have you believe that trickle-down economics is still alive and well. The theory goes that, when Mr. Huizenga and his ilk are allowed to hold onto a little more of their green, they will spend it. That generates income for yacht builders, private jet salesmen, waiters at Le Cirque, high priced hookers and whatever else the super rich spend money on. Sadly, no one asks that waiter if he'd like to have a little health care so he wouldn't live in terror of a family illness. No one consults the jet salesman about whether he would trade a little less sales for a little more security.



The Declaration of Independence discusses "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". The Constitution mandates that the federal government "promote the general welfare". As a nation, we have ignored these principles. When a politician asks if his audience is better off today than four or eight years ago, he's asking the wrong question. We should be asking if the people of America are happier than they were in years past. Are Montana residents happier because their Second Amendment right to own a machine gun has been upheld? Will Californians be happier if they overturn the gay marriage statute? Are our citizens so thrilled with their circumstances: the cost of college, the price of gas, the fear of street crime, that they would be cowardly enough to vote to continue down the same road? Remember, madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.



According to free-market Republicans, Barak Obama wants to lead the American economy along the same path as the dreaded Western European countries. Heaven forefend! In surveys which measure countries having the happiest populations, most Western European countries rank above the U.S. Currently, Denmark is #1. Yes, they have high taxes but they also have free educations and free quality medical care. The people don't moon over the American dream of wealth and fame. They bicycle to jobs, root for their favorite sports teams, raise families and retire at a reasonable age. They get generous vacations (hopefully without carting along a blackberry) and they live longer. Less stress, higher quality of life (and presumably less reality TV). In fairness, we do have lower suicide rates than most of Europe which is surprising because we have so many more guns.



Barak Obama dropped the slogan "change we can believe in" because, frankly, Americans don't believe in change. We want to return to the days of Eisenhower and Ozzie and Harriett. Our Republican VP candidate panders to "real Americans" which is code for old fashioned white people. We sing the praises of "our troops" but fewer and fewer "real Americans" want their kids to sign up. Hell, we think it's charming that half the South is still fighting the Civil War. I'm no prophet and I'm certainly no philosopher but there can't be much difference between looking backward and being backward. Maybe our future isn't destined to be like Europe but maybe it is. After all, Danes die in their beds not in the deserts of Iraq.

...or is Albert Pujols the only Cardinal with any consistency?

The abortion villagers are at the gates again brandishing their torches and pitchforks. They claim to speak for God and are demanding that everyone, and I mean everyone, kneel to their will. I speak of the Catholic Church, in the person of its middle management, which continues to attempt an ecclesiastic coup in the United States. Not content with advising its adherents to respect the life of the unborn, they are bound and determined to alter the American justice and legislative systems to do their bidding. In 2004, Saint Louis archbishop Raymond Burke forbade Sen. John Kerry from taking communion in his domain. It is impossible to know whether this action cost Kerry any votes among Catholics but when the margin of victory in Ohio was 130,000, any issue could be seminal.



Today's effort to control the world comes from Cardinal Edward Egan of New York. The good Cardinal has attacked the Jesuits of Fordham University for their plans to honor Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer. Justice Breyer is to receive the Fordham-Stein Ethics Prize. Cardinal Egan has voiced his objection to this honor on the grounds that Breyer has voted early and often to uphold Roe vs. Wade. Apparently the archdiocese is unimpressed with the hundreds of other decisions that have marked Justice Breyer's fifteen years on the High Court. Hello, Pierre the bridge builder!



Breyer will be the seventh justice to receive the Fordham-Stein award. All were on the "wrong" side of Roe. There have also been three former Attorneys General. None of those awards caused so much as a ripple around St. Patrick's Cathedral. That might be because none of the other recipients were announced before an American Presidential election. Fortunately, the Jesuits have a long and storied history of thumbing their noses at Church authority. You can expect that Cardinal Egan's blustering will receive all the attention it deserves...none.



Having grown up under the sometimes heavy hand of the Roman Catholic Church, I am at a loss to understand why they have chosen the abortion question as the cause celebre and why in the United States. Abortion, in one form or another, is legal in all 27 European Union countries where the number of abortions is much higher. That includes Italy and Ireland where Church influence is systemic and pervasive. Why the U.S.? Perhaps the folks in Rome feel a natural kinship with the neocons of the Republican party. In Europe, religion is almost never a part of the political discourse. Politicians never pander to the God squad. No one cares what you believe. They care how you will govern. What a novel concept!



Strangely, the Church has not been nearly as vocal on other issues it considers sinful. One never hears of popes and bishops railing on about adultery. The last time I checked, the prohibition on adultery was still listed in the Ten Commandments right between killing and stealing.

And what about capital punishment?If state sponsored murder doesn't rate a little papal indignation, what does? No one in the Catholic ecclesiastical hierarchy made a peep when George W. Bush ran for President from one of the most execution-happy states in America. Does war count? No one tried to excommunicate Jack Kennedy for invading Cuba. At least the U.S. government isn't in the abortion business directly. I suspect that if you want to know why the RCC considers one sin more worthy of protest, you'll need to buy a ticket to Rome.



Nevertheless, neither the Republicans nor the Catholics have had any success making abortion part of the presidential election in 2008. It would appear that in the face of an economic meltdown of biblical proportion, the only God America wants to pray to is Henry Paulson. It only took a President of epochal mediocrity to remind the country that leadership and false piety aren't synonymous. In fact, they don't even pray in the same church.

... or do find yourself as cranky as John McCain?

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If you are a political junkie (and until Nov 4th, that's just about everyone) you may find yourself drawn to such places as MSNBC, Fox News or even CNN. As you dissect the most recent poll numbers or ponder the latest blather from Bay Buchanan or Arianna Huffington you may also be exposed to ads from a scuzzy outfit called Associated Tax Relief.



The ads consist mostly of obnoxious people bragging about how, with the help of Associated Tax Relief, they were able to weasel out of their obligation to Uncle Sam. None of these vermin indicate that the tax bills were unjust. They merely sit in their living rooms in their polyester leisure suits and gaudy jewelry and brag about how they avoided their tax burden by settling for pennies on the dollar. One of these underachievers clearly used the tax money for a boob job. You just know that these are the same people who bought a house that was four times what they could afford. Should we really be encouraging people to dance the dance but not pay the piper? The reason that tax policy is such a third rail issue is that most Americans pay their taxes and harbor deep resentment about those who don't.


So, let's quit attacking poor people who might get a tax credit even if they don't pay taxes. Let's focus our anger at the bums using Associated Tax Relief.



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There's an old Monty Python sketch involving a business where, for a fee, a customer can have an argument. Apparently there's a market for such services. A San Diego entrepreneur has opened a store where patrons can express their rage over the economic meltdown or whatever else is producing acid stomachs. For a fee of between $10 and $50 a client can smash plates, cups and various other breakables. The proprietor is thinking of installing life sized dolls of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Eye gouging will cost extra.

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Department of "You can't make this stuff up".



*A North Carolina woman is legally changing her name from Jennifer Thornburg to CutoutDissection.com in order to raise awareness of the plight of dead animals used in high school biology classes. Best of luck to her mail man.

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*Melenie Hain, who lost her permit to carry a gun because she brought a weapon to her five year old daughter's soccer game, has had her second amendment rights restored. Judge Robert Eby ruled that a right to carry a gun is a right to carry a gun...anywhere. Should her daughter be assigned as goal keeper, the opposing team would be ill-advised to attempt any goal scoring.

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A Canadian man is attempting to avoid paying child support on the grounds that he was asleep during the conception. His story (and a wonderful story it is) is that he awoke one night to discover that he was having sex with his now, ex-girlfriend.


The crack research team at isitjustme has estimated that, if sleeping during sex was a valid loophole for paying child support, 82% of the fathers in America would be off the hook.

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So exactly what's wrong with Sarah Palin anyway? Why have her poll numbers plummeted like my 401k?Considering that the McCain campaign had about as much energy as a C-SPAN infomercial, you can appreciate the benefit of introducing a little new blood. (Insert McCain transfusion joke here.) Sarah is engaging, perky and charming. Thanks to the Republican Campaign Committee coffers, she is also nicely turned out.

Note to Sarah: lose the red leather jacket, sweetheart. You look like a cougar on a Saturday night in Des Moines.

Sarah's problem is that likability can't be your only qualification for high office. Quirky works well enough in statewide races (think Jesse "the body" Ventura in Minnesota or Jerry Brown in California) but on the national stage we like our officials with a little more gravitas. No one wants to elect Ellen DeGeneres to be President.

This isn't about "experience". History has demonstrated that what you've done isn't always an indication of what you'll do. People, especially politicians, can surprise you. The country has had almost two years to take the measure of Barak Obama. We have seen him in debates, in speeches, and in one-on-one interviews. In all of those forums he appears knowledgeable, intelligent and focused on the future. His bearing has allowed many people to overlook his somewhat brief resume.

Sarah Palin, on the other hand seems two-dimensional, poorly informed (occasionally comically so) and with the stereotypical cluelessness we would expect from a beauty queen from Alaska. Every time she opens her mouth she writes another skit for Tina Fey. In spite of the best efforts of her Republican handlers (her poor baby has more frequent-flyer miles than George W. Bush), Sarah just hasn't produced a personae that's more than the sum of her parts. America wants leadership not cheer-leadership. Governor Palin needs to be put back in the oven for some additional baking...and lose the husband.

...or do you find yourself asking "What would Barry Goldwater do?"

Colin Powell has endorsed Barak Obama for President and America is shocked, shocked to learn that both men are people of color. There can only be one explanation: Powell has abandoned his Republican principles, eschewed his conservative history and tarnished his four stars; all in the name of blackness. To paraphrase Thomas More " It profits a man nothing to give his soul, even for the whole world...but for a liberal?"

Predictably, the Republicans are outraged (Republicans are easily outraged) and, the intimation is that Powell made his decision exclusively and entirely along racial lines. Why not? After all, they all know each other don't they? First Colin Powell then Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and finally O.J. Simpson. Jesus! For a country that professes to be "the best", we sweat more fear than an Alfred Hitchcock audience.

I have a thought. (Hold the applause, please.) If Colin Powell has chosen Obama for low motives, what about Joe Lieberman? Here's a man who abandoned his party and its policies in order to support John McCain. What lesson are we to take from that? Apparently Lieberman has elected to endorse McCain because they are both old, white-haired white guys. After all, look at them together. They look like a pair of little salt shakers. If it wasn't for McCain's male-patterned baldness, Cindy would have a tough time remembering which of them gets the nitroglycerin pill.

Still, you have to feel sorry for the Republicans. First they were done in by the Catholics in 1960 who went to the polls in record numbers (in Chicago those numbers exceeded the above-ground population) in support of Jack Kennedy. Since that time any effort to court constituencies other than rich white people have fallen on stony ground. Republicans have never understood why their race-baiting, minority bashing, let's keep the poor poor, I've got mine so screw you style of politics hasn't resonated with the black community. The only black people invited to the Republican National Convention were asked to bring their own brooms.

It is difficult to dissect the thought process that drove Colin Powell to endorse Barak Obama, however it is difficult to imagine that race wasn't at least a component. Powell can be forgiven for a lack of purity in his choice. He didn't create "us vs. them". That was white people. For a hundred and fifty years since the Civil War, black people have tried to get a seat at the table. Colin Powell was Secretary of State and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs yet on Meet the Press last Sunday, many Americans only saw a black man siding with one of his own. Sometimes this country can be a very disappointing place.

...or was Forrest Gump right? Stupid is as stupid does.

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A Tennessee man has named his new baby Sarah McCain Palin. The fact that he did this without his wife's blessing is almost irrelevant (although probably not irrelevant to his sex life). Who does this stuff? To attempt to apply logic would be to court madness. Perhaps when the child is a little older, we can introduce her to little Kerry Lieberman down the street.

Well, congratulations to the proud father for continuing the long-held stereotype about people from Tennessee.

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And while we're on the subject of the stereotypical South...
Amid the sturm und drang of the presidential election (under twenty days, thank God!) and the Wall Street meltdown, one item in the news might have escaped your notice. The Supreme Court (you remember them: black robes, no smiles) refused to hear the case of Georgia death row inmate Troy Anthony Davis. Mr. Davis made the news last month when his execution was halted just two hours before the chemical cocktail was to be served. Davis was convicted of killing an off-duty police officer in 1989. Since his conviction, seven of the nine witnesses who testified at his trial have changed their story. Many have told tales of police pressure and coercion. Mr. Davis (be ready for a shock!) is black.

It's unclear what the Supreme Court would consider compelling evidence for a new trial in this case. Maybe they're just too busy to hear arguments. Justice Scalia probably has a book signing in Georgetown and Justice Stevens is busy trying to stay alive until Barak Omaba is sworn in. Whatever the reason for the Court's disinterest, other prominent folks have already spoken up. Pope Benedict XVI, Desmond Tutu and Jimmy Carter have all expressed disdain for the death penalty in general and this case in particular.

Ignoring these liberal bed-wetters, the State of Georgia can't wait to rid the world of this fiend. His guilt or innocence is of no consequence in a state that is determined to send a message. Apparently the message is, " when a cop is killed, you'd better not be the first black male we grab".

The way it's practiced in the South, the death penalty is nothing more than state-sanctioned racism and murder. That power needs to be taken from these crackers and federalized. Texas, Florida, Virginia, Oklahoma and several other states should no longer be permitted to execute Americans for the sole purpose of appearing to be "tough on crime" and courting the votes of blood-thirsty half-wits. The administration of capital punishment in America is a joke but the death row inmates aren't laughing. They're just counting days.

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America's newest pain-in-the-ass comes in the form of the President of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. If you thought Castro was annoying wait until you get an earful of Hugo. He has rewritten and improved the anti-American playbook with skill and panache. Think Karl Rove with a bad Spanish accent.

Chavez has convinced his followers that an American invasion of their country is imminent. He points to Iraq and suggests that Venezuela is a lot closer. He sites the Bay of Pigs as proof of American aggression. He cozies up to the Cubans and lauds Fidel as the greatest leader the region has seen. In point of fact, Chavez is a lot cagier than Castro. Venezuela is a semi-functioning democracy so Chavez has to get himself elected, at least nominally. Chavez also has a commodity more valuable than Cuban cigars and sugar. He has oil. About 14% of American imported crude comes from Venezuela. Although he needs us as much as we need him, the threat of a shut-off, however unlikely, keeps the U.S. from ignoring the little pest (or making his invasion dream a reality).

In another page from the Cuban manual, Chavez is flirting with everybody's favorite karate master, Vladimir Putin. Arms deals, joint navel maneuvers and numerous sleep-overs are giving our Russian friends a wonderful opportunity to restart the cold war and stick a finger in George W Bush's eye in the bargain.

And so my friends, every time you fill up your SUV and delight in the decline of the price of unleaded regular, remember that there's a grinning Venezuelan asshole holding the other end of your nozzle. Drink up, America.

...or is John McCain cowardly enough to trot out miss cutsey-pants to fight his dirty battles?

So much for the big, brave war hero. So much for the "campaign on the issues". So much for honor, honesty and values. John McCain has shown himself for what he is: a grasping, demagogue who intends to use any lie, half truth or insinuation to obscure the fact that he is wholly unqualified to hold any public office. John McCain, you should be ashamed!


Why all this vitriol? I'm glad you asked. On Saturday at a political rally in Nebraska, Sarah Palin stated that Barak Obama "likes to pal around with terrorists who target their own country". Nice! For those of you for whom this is news, the reference is to Bill Ayers, former radical antiwar activist. Not the War in Iraq, mind you, but the Vietnam War. That's almost forty years ago. Ayers is currently a professor at the University of Chicago. Bill Ayers and his wife Bernardine Dohrn did some bad stuff in the early 1970's including triggering a bomb in the Pentagon and New York City Police Headquarters. They are unrepentant to this day.

The Ayers-Obama connection stems from their work in Chicago on such diabolical projects as anti-poverty programs and education reform. At no time did Obama participate in the bombing of any Chicago public school. Any attempt to smear Barak Obama as a "pal of terrorists" because of his association with Bill Ayers is a low blow worthy of Karl Rove. You can however, understand how desperate McCain is to find any life raft available to rescue his sinking campaign. Short of nominating Hanna Montana as the future Secretary of State, he's run out of cute, clueless women. He has no answers and he's having trouble remembering the questions. Maybe he can learn to wink.

McCain should be extra careful regarding slinging stones considering the glass structure in which he resides. Someone interested in dredging up old indiscretions might travel back to 1985 and stumble over a man named Charles Keating. You can read the details on Wikipedia but the short version is that Mr. Keating spent a lot of time and a lot of money attempting to get bank regulators to ignore the shady dealings going on at his bank, Lincoln Savings. His favorite method of pressure application was buying Senators. One senator from Arizona, whose initials are John McCain, received $112,000 in contributions from Keating and his gang. McCain and his family were also Keating's guests on nine vacations, several to the Bahama resort of Cat Cay. After a thorough investigation by the Senate Ethics Committee, McCain was exonerated although the committee scolded him for poor judgement. Keating received a ten year prison sentence for fraud after his bank collapsed.

What we can take away from these closeted skeletons is the following:

Ayers was never tried or convicted of anything.
Keating got ten years.

Obama was eight when Ayers was bombing buildings.
McCain was right in the middle of Keatings' illegal business.

Ayers has devoted his life to education and helping poor people.
Keating devoted his remaining years to making license plates and appealing his convictions.

Obama's interaction with Ayers was casual and amounts to guilt by association.
McCain, by his own admission, acted improperly. (Yeah, graft and influence-peddling is "improper").

As icing on the cake, McCain's interaction with Charles Keating was a key component to the savings and loan scandal of the early 90's. It was McCain's love of deregulation (coupled with a love of umbrella drinks) that helped trigger the failure of S&L's all over America. You can therefore imagine how McCain, the born-again regulator, wants to explain how he was at the center of not one but two of the worst financial crises to strike America since the Great Depression. It's enough to curdle your pina colada.



The McCain campaign is swirling down the porcelain at an alarming rate. He's in danger of losing states where Obama is practically a write-in. The last time Nebraska abandoned the Republicns there was a Whig on the ticket. McCain's "the surge worked" isn't getting anyone their house back. Sarah Palin's cutsiness isn't putting Americans to work or protecting their 401k's. The Republicans have nothing and they know it. Why else attack with such tenuous associations as Bill Ayers?



Listen to that sound, John. It's six o'clock and their playing taps. It's over.

...or is singing louder a cure for not knowing the words?

For lo these many months, isitjustme has avoided cheap shots, low blows and rabbit punches aimed in the general direction of organized religion. The reason is less about concern for my immortal soul than as a nod toward several friends who take umbrage at my perceived disrespect. Besides, the churches haven't been doing anything funny lately.

Today's screed comes not to bury religion but to question a few of its methods. As the number of my blogs approaches 200 (177 to date, but who's counting?), a new wrinkle is being added. I would like anyone out there who feels compelled, to weigh in on the following issues. I am in earnest. I really don't know how to feel about these religious issues.


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The Catholic Church has released a video on a website called Catholicvote.com. Forgetting that it may be the hokiest, clip-art laden 2.5 minutes ever produced, the thrust of the message is that Catholics should vote for the anti-abortion candidate (Hint. His initials are John McCain). The copy is as subtle as a Rush Limbaugh cigar but that's not the point. If abortion is a moral question, and for Catholics it is, should the church suggest to its members that a Presidential candidate is the correct moral choice? The ad does not threaten eternal perdition for an incorrect decision. It merely implies that Catholics who take their faith seriously, should do the right thing.


The question a two parter: Should Catholics ignore all of the complex issues inherent in the selection of a President and vote solely on the abortion question and, does the Church have the right to suggest such a choice? Discuss among yourselves.

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On a parallel track, many Christian churches across America took a bold step last Sunday when they advised their congregations that John McCain was the moral, Christian choice for President. The move was designed, in part, to challenge the IRS ruling that prohibits religious institutions from participating in politics(or more logically, prevents political organizations from passing themselves off as churches). Violation of this rule can cause the loss of a church's 501(c)(3) status as a non-profit organization. Contributions to such an organization would no longer be tax deductible.

Once again, does the moral imperative trump the civil?

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Finally, in a move bordering on the divinely inspired, a Christian group in Fairfax County, Virginia is protesting the choice of books in the County libraries. Having had no success at torching books that explain homosexuality and evolution, the God Squad has a new trick. They are donating books that present positions contrary to volumes already in the stacks. If you can't burn "Heather Has Two Mommies", you try to position "The Case Against Same Sex Marriage" on the same shelf. These God-guys are shifty.

The Fairfax library has rejected most of the donated volumes as being long on scripture and short on facts and research. Libraries have accreditation rules having mostly to do with positive reviews by recognized journals. The rules apply to donated as well as purchased books.

Once more we have a conundrum: Should unfashionable ideas be banned from library shelves? When controversial issues arise, should not both sides receive an equal hearing? Libraries are large buildings. Couldn't one shelf be devoted to crackpot, loony tune volumes that present, however poorly, the unpopular view?

No one is suggesting, for example, that creationism never be taught. It just should never be taught as a scientific alternative to evolution. Creationism is not science. Nevertheless we don't ban books, including the Bible, which discuss the Divine creation of the universe. It seems that Christians should be entitled to a little shelf space for their narrow-minded bigoted crap. (harsh?) And the crappier the better. Poorly reasoned screeds about gay marriage only serve to further the cause of the really righteous. There must be a Dewey Decimal System designation for "lunatic fringe". We might even house them in a separate building. After all, Heather has two mommies, why not two libraries?

...or did we tune in to a debate last night and catch an episode of Petticoat Junction instead?

If anyone was curious as to whatever happened to Donna Douglas of The Beverly Hillbillies, she has morphed into Sarah Palin. If the Governor of Alaska poured any more honey over last night's debate, moderator Gwen Ifill would have needed an insulin shot.

I don't know what I expected to see last night but I certainly wasn't surprised or shocked. The scorecard might show Joe Biden as the winner by TKO, but Sweet Sarah won a round or two. Biden was clearly out cutsied. He was also out smiled (and he has a great one) and out folksyed. As a beauty contest it was no contest.

The supporters and handlers of John McCain are breathing a little easier this morning. They have a right to be proud. Their tutelage helped create a reasonable facsimile of a silk purse from one of the most egregious sow's ears ever to appear in front of a camera. Sarah Palin is the living example of how to treat ignorance as though it were a virtue. If you can't answer the question you were asked, answer some other question with the platitudes that you memorized. Think Chatty Cathy. Pull the string, you get a response. It's not a non sequitur if you're cute.

I tried this method of response during my college career. Regardless of the question, or even the subject, I would always steer the answer around to some issue with which I was more familiar. I reasoned that because all knowledge is interrelated, any information can answer all questions. Those tasked with evaluating my academic abilities took a somewhat different view. It was their rather narrow approach to learning that kept me as a charter member of the "2.0 and under club".

Regardless of how one presents their arguments, the effectiveness is diminished if the discourse is not responsive to the question. The point of a debate is to field questions on a variety of topics in the vain hope that the audience can judge your ability to hold office. If your only response is the endless regurgitation of talking points, forget the debate and purchase an hour on Fox News.

Well, thank God it's over. Joe didn't eat the scenery and Sarah didn't knock over the podium. Joe was studious (some say boring) and Sarah was as inane as Chrissy on Three's Company. Call me crazy but I like my world leaders with a little gravitas. That "golly gee, oh shucks, you betcha'" bullshit plays well enough in a state where Diet Dr. Pepper appears on the wine list under reds, but here in the lower forty-eight we're a bit less homespun. We appreciate folks from exotic parts of the country, we may even envy their simple world view but we are not crazy enough to elect them to the highest office in the land. The re-enactors at Williamsburg have charm but no one would seriously consider voting for a man who rides a horse to work.

When this is over, Sarah has a great career ahead of her as a mid-day talk show host. She can "ah shucks" her way to fame and fortune. Millions will tune in to see how baby Trig is doing or how Bristol is fairing with her fifth child. She can become America's newest Doris Day. There might even be a place for her cigar store Indian husband (OK that was a little mean). I wish her all the success in the world...as long as it's away from that cute little nuclear button.

...or will everyone watch tonight's VP debate with their fingers in their ears?

Tonight's debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden could be the most cringe -producing 90 minutes since Reservoir Dogs. We are about to be treated to a grudge match between Mr. T and Talia Shire. To quote Martin Scorsese, "Where's the antagonist? Where's the drama?"

Regardless of your political flavor preference, there are several facts that are not in dispute:
- Joe Biden has accumulated more foreign policy experience riding the Amtrak Acela than Sarah Palin has managed in ten years as a bureaucrat in Alaska.
-Having managed to look insipid and clueless in her few meager interviews thus far, we will all be amazed if Sarah successfully completes a recitation of the alphabet. There will be bonus points if she can recite the names and ages of her children.

It is impossible to write about Sarah Palin's abysmal knowledge of the world without sliding into a series of snide, sarcastic remarks. Unfortunately, my problem will also be Joe Biden's problem. Being a heavy favorite in any contest carries several disadvantages. He must be gracious at all times. He cannot laugh or snicker at her responses. Running up the score is verboten. He must be deferential without appearing patronizing. Considering Biden's reputation as a bit ham-handed, this will be a chore. Sarah Palin is likable. Attacking her will be tricky. Think panda. If you are in a fight with one, you'd better have a gun but, do you really want to be seen on national television shooting a cuddly panda?

Senator Biden's objective will be to attack the stated policies of John McCain. It's more comfortable to watch the decimation of an old man in absentia than the young woman at the podium. If Biden can establish early on that McCain's direction is wrong then he can be forgiven for shooting the messenger. Biden should answer the questions as asked and stand back. If recent history is any indicator, Governor Palin will launch into the talking point, non sequiturs that have provided Tina Fey with her barely edited SNL material. Biden should appear engaged, attentive, and deferential. All hysterical laughing should be delayed until after the mikes are turned off and the cameras go dark.

By the way, how would you like to be John McCain at 9:00 PM tonight? How's that unorthodox, maverick, outside-the-box management style working out for you? If he thought six years in the Hanoi Hilton was tough on the nerves, just wait until Gwen Ifill asks Governor Palin to explain how she thinks the financial rescue plan will help loosen the credit markets. If his heart survives this debate, I'll consider voting for him myself. It will be like watching your ten year old daughter dance Swan Lake at Lincoln Center with the NY City Ballet. You'd be delirious if she just manages to remain upright.

So everyone will watch tonight's carnage with one finger on the mute button. After all, everybody loved the "...you're no Jack Kennedy" zinger that Lloyd Bentsen hurled at Dan Quayle but if you saw it live it produced a world class wince. No one wants to watch a cow become a steak.