...or is Walmart something we should be thankful for?

Things that will make you wish you were Canadian: Item Let's talk about Walmart. Face it. We live in a capitalist society. That society rewards entrepreneurship, effort, efficiency, education and a lot of other "e" words that I can't come up with now. We accept, even applaud, companies that come to market with the best product at the best price. Whether it's Best Buy selling electronics or PetSmart (note the trendy elimination of the space between words) peddling kibble, we are happy to drive 5 or 10 miles to save $.50 on a box of Cheerios. So be it. This is America and we will defend to the death your right to waste $1.00 in gas to pocket $.50. But then there's Walmart. Someone, probably Paris Hilton, said that no publicity was bad publicity. As the only company in America that spawned an organization dedicated to its destruction, Walmart might beg to differ. Throughout America, small bands of crusaders are rising up to stop Walmart from expanding into new territories. The Germans drove them out in 2006 and, except for the UK, things are grim in the EU. Folks hate Walmart for a host of reasons: Walmart destroys small local businesses; devastates downtown shopping areas; promotes suburban sprawl. Their parking lots are brighter than Shea Stadium on game night. As neighbors, most people would prefer the storage facility for the Center For Disease Control. Closed Walmart stores lay abandoned for months, sometimes longer. Walmart can always be relied upon to do the least that the law allows with regard to safety and overall good citizenship. This is the company that refused to take any responsibility for assaults and rapes occurring in their own parking lots. However, the issue that makes the news most often is the reason for today's rant: the manner in which Walmart treats its help. Walmart professes to be a friend to the working family, providing high quality goods at reasonable prices. That's true as long as the working family isn't working for Walmart. The company is maniacally anti-union. A union would presumably bring a measure of worker's rights to a company whose business practices would be more at home in the Philippines. Thousands of Walmart employees are without benefits mostly because their hours don't qualify them for full time status. Better to pay peanuts to two employees than benefits to one full-time worker. If you imagine that this is all covered by the term "good business practices" please avail yourself of page one of November twentieth The Wall Street Journal. Column three details the case of Deborah Shank. Ms. Shank, a Walmart employee with health insurance, was involved in an accident with a truck, (not Walmart's) leaving her with severe brain damage and in need of constant care. She was awarded $700,000 in a settlement with the trucking company. Legal fees and other expenses reduced the award to $417,000 which would go toward her future medical expenses, that is, of course, until Walmart stepped in. Two years ago Walmart's medical plan sued Ms. Shank for $470,000, an amount equal to the cost of her to that point. Let me say that again...Walmart sued Ms. Shank to recover the money they had paid for her hospitalization. They did it for the very best of reasons...the law says they can. In 2006 Walmart posted a net profit of $12.18 Billion on sales of $344 Billion. They are currently the largest public corporation by revenue. Now you have some idea as to how they got there, by screwing every last cent out of their work force. You can say that no one forces people to work at Walmart and that is certainly true. There should, however be a covenant between employer and employee that's rooted in fairness and respect. (Wow! What century were you born in?) Seriously! I know very few bosses that don't care whether their employees prosper. They value their reputations as caring even if it costs them a few rolls of Scotch Tape at Christmes. Walmart is spending millions to promote the idea that they are model world citizens: They're green; they're responsible. Sure. They're responsible for poisoning American children. When you grind your suppliers to cut costs and then cut them again, you shouldn't be surprised when the stuff you import is produced by slaves using lead paint. They will need all the paint they can find. It will take a lot to apply to the lips of this pig.

...or is reading only The N.Y. Post warping your prospective?

Things that aren't making the national press: Item There is a scandal going on in Washington; and the sun is expected to rise tomorrow and Christmas will arrive on December 25th. This particular scandal however, does not involve our federal government. This one belongs to the city of Washington. Granted, any city that is run by the U.S. Congress and that can elect Marion Barry to anything is bound to be a little meshuga but, hey, $31 million. That's a lot of paper clips and Scotch tape. The story involves Harriette Walters who until recently was Washington's manager of tax refunds. (You're way ahead of me, aren't you?) Harriette has been refunding property tax dollars to herself, her relatives and bogus companies to which she has access. (To show that Ms. Walters had a sense of humor, one of the companies was called "Bilkemor, LLC.) The details are still coming to light but it appears that the game has been afoot since 1999. Most legitimate refund checks run about $10,000. The funds heading to Ms. Walters and her family were closer to $300,000. No one seems to have noticed. Also considered unremarkable was the fact that Ms. Walters drove a Bentley. The Chief Financial Officer for the district is Natwar M. Gandhi (no relation). His response to the theft on his watch was predictable. He was shocked, shocked to learn that there was larceny happening under his very nose. Assuming no liability himself he is now investigating. Presumably he is determined to discover whether Ms. Walters signed the bogus check with government ink. The Feds have Ms. Walters, and her family and her lawyer, David Fuss. What they don't have is most of the loot. Ms. Walters owns a home on St. Thomas and one in the D.C. area. So far only about $6.5 million has been seized. Retailers in the Washington area view Ms. Walters arrest in Nov as unfortunate. Harriette was a fierce shopper at Christmas. Marion Barry was unavailable for comment. __________________________________________________________________________ Item The winner of this year's "Yoko Ono Professional Widow Award" is Mariane Pearl. Under the heading of, "...but enough talk about me. What do you think about me?" Mariane Pearl continues to play the role of "anything for a buck" victim. For those of you that missed the brief theatrical release of "A Mighty Heart", Ms. Pearl is the widow of slain Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl. Since her husband's tragic death in 2002 in Pakistan, Mariane has been very busy creating a minor industry from her husband's death. Her first book and the fawning star-vehicle film that followed, were all about Mariane. Danny Pearl was so absent he could have been played by Claude Rains. Along the way, she has filed a law suit (since dropped) for damages from the Habib Bank and two Saudi sheikh as well as applying for relief as a victim of 9/11. (Now that took courage!) Now we have a new book about twelve courageous women which, by extension, includes Mariane Pearl. Her latest effort is a book called In Search of Hope: The Global Diaries of Mariane Pearl. The book details Ms. Pearl's travels around the world, interviewing women of consequence. Maybe Hanna Montana can play Mariane in the next movie. _________________________________________________________________________ Item Santa Clauses in Sydney Australia (is it "Santa Clauses" or "Santas Clause"?) have been told to abandon their traditional greeting of "Ho, ho, ho" because of the possible offense to women. No, really...you can't make this stuff up. The American Obesity Society is considering a request to abolish the "gobble, gobble, gobble" sound made by people dressed as Thanksgiving turkeys. ________________________________________________________________________Item Item And while we're being shocked, leave us consider the brothers Krongard. Howard "Cookie" Krongard and his brother Alvin "Chip" Krongard find themselves in the crosshairs of the House Oversight and Government Committee. (If there's a more glaring example of oxymoron in government I've yet to hear it.) Cookie is the State Department's Inspector General and, as such, is responsible for keeping an eye on contractors like Blackwater. (Who gives a job like that to a guy called Cookie?) He is testifying before the House committee because accusations have surfaced that he has been quashing probes into Blackwater's activities overseas. During his testimony he addressed the "ugly rumors" that his brother, former CIA officer Buzzy Krongard, was on the Blackwater advisory board. Midway through his testimony Cookie was forced to "revise" his statements. He had just learned that, in fact, Buzzy was on the Blackwater board. Mon Dieu! One suspects that the conversation at Krongard family gatherings is confined to the plight of the Redskins and who's going to play Mariane Pearl in her next movie. I love this town! ___________________________________________________________________ Item Barry Bonds was inducted yesterday into a not-so-exclusive hall of fame. The honorees include Martha Stewart, Scooter Libby, G. Gordon Liddy and many others who have learned at their peril, what happens when you fib to federal policemen. For those of you who get all of your news from Jay Leno and Jon Stewart, Bonds was indicted for denying that he used performance enhancing drugs. Apparently the feds can prove otherwise. The moral of the story is, just because your medication can inflate your head to a size that rivals Mt. Rushmore doesn't mean that your brain gets larger. Presumably the investigation will also uncover transgressions by Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire and others. The officials in Cooperstown are naturally relieved in that, they were unsure how the bust of these players would fit through the door.

...or is the Bush administration just testing our gag reflex?

The gang in the White House is once again reminding us how long eight years can really be. By this time next year we will at least know who will be replacing George the Lesser and his gaggle of incompetents. At this rate I'll take anybody...Ron Paul...RuPaul...Les Paul...Pope John Paul...anybody. Sunday was Veterans Day. This day, above all others, should have found Bush, Cheney and their minions hiding in an undisclosed location, possibly the same one they hid in during 9/11. The track record of the Bush Administration concerning the military (multiple tours in Iraq, Walter Reed medical care, lies about Jessica Lynch and Pat Tilman, paying Blackwater mercenaries ten times the pay of servicemen, no presidential attendance at any soldier's funeral), practically demands their silence. A moratorium on public pronouncements should have been observed with particular vigor by the Vice President. When it came his time to serve, Dick Cheney did everything but borrow one of Cpl. Klinger's dresses to avoid wearing his country's uniform. He dreamed up deferments that would have impressed Abbie Hoffman. George Bush might have had a little help sliding into the Texas Air National Guard but at least he served in some capacity. Cheney, then as now, left the fighting to others. Let's be frank. Many of us who served during the Vietnam era would have graciously declined the invitation had that been an option. Not too many were anxious to engage the population of Southeast Asia personally. Nevertheless there was a certain sense of national service that was passed down to my generation from the veterans of WW II (who were also our parents, neighbors and family friends). We may have opposed the war but no one hid in the basement or fled to Canada. (My opposition to the war intensified as my induction drew closer.) My father said that dissent was a privilege and must be earned. It's called putting some skin in the game. Guys like Ron Kovic and the Vietnam Veterans Against the War had more credibility in America than the protesters at the Democratic National Convention in 1968 because they had served. The concept of electing ex-servicemen to high office stems, in part, from the notion that those who have seen combat will be cautious when committing other to fight. Bill Clinton, the first modern President to have avoided military service, used his powers as Commander-in Chief only twice. The poorly conceived incursion in Somalia left both the President and the Army with a bloody nose. American forces committed to Bosnia fared better if only because the fighting had largely stopped before we arrived. Clinton was pressed constantly and correctly, over his draft evasion. But I digress. The Vice President, in an epic display of chutzpah, appeared at Arlington National Cemetery to spew meaningless cliches over the most hallowed ground in America. It's a wonder that the ghost of Gen. George C. Marshall didn't rise up and kick his ass off the property. Cheney spoke of freedom. "...free to live as we see fit, free to work, worship and speak our minds." Naturally, Mr. Cheney neglected to mention that his credo left the defense of those freedoms to others. He was otherwise occupied. However, Dick left a few "freedoms" out of his remarks. He might have included: free to avoid serving America in uniform but free to send thousands of other Americans to fight in your own agenda-driven war. free to endanger the lives of CIA agents in order to exact political retribution (see also Valerie Plame). freedom to distort the truth at every turn, whether the subject is WMD's or Pat Tilman's death. freedom to vilify gay people in America while professing to protect the privacy of your own lesbian daughter. I don't know an American veteran who doesn't look back on his service with pride. Whether or not any of us ever knew the dubious distinction of being shot at (I was spared that honor) we all sense that, at a time in America when the call went out, we answered, however reluctantly. During that time, the Vice President of the United States chose to remain silent. He should have the grace to continue that silence on Veteran's Day.

...does riding the express train cause you to miss the good stuff in the papers?

News of the day... Item The legal community of Islamabad is leading the fight against the recent dictatorial inclinations of General Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan. (When your leader's first name is "General" what can you expect?) There are several interesting aspects to this event. Considering the lack of billable hours available to the protesters, it's amazing that so many lawyers could be mobilized so rapidly. Also, one cannot help but be impressed that all the protesters are wearing suits. It's disturbing to realize that Pakistanis can march into the teeth of armed policemen and soldiers dressed better than Americans attending a job interview. in a related story The tap dance that the Bush administration is performing regarding Marshall law in Pakistan would qualify for Dancing with the Stars. Americans abhor a crackdown on free expression. However, since we are a little short of friends in the region, it wouldn't do to criticize one of the few we have left. After all, George W. just finished a complicated tango with the Turks. That deal went like this: as compensation for calling their ancestors murderers, we have approved a Turkish attack on the Kurds who are causing trouble in the southeast of Turkey.

The Kurds must be wondering what the Bush family has against them. After The Gulf War (the one that we won), Bush 41 encouraged the Kurds in northernIraq to rise up and overthrow the evil Saddam. When they tried, George H.W. allowed Saddam to fly his Army helicopters against the rebels. That one ended, Iraqi Strongman 1 - Kurds 0.

Now George the Lesser is green-lighting the Turks to hit the Kurds from the west. If Kurdistan ever becomes a country, the Bushes should be very wary of any invitation to visit.

________________________________________________________________________

Item

Under the heading "you really can't make this stuff up", Robert A. Singer was arrested at his Falls Church, VA home yesterday on charges of distributing child pornography. The arrest could jeopardize his job as (are you ready?) an executive at the National Children's Museum. This mope even used a computer registered to the Museum to send the pictures. Jesus. This is like learning that Michael Chertoff is secretly a card-carrying member of al Qaeda, or that Karl Rove is married to a man (not that there's anything wrong with that!).

_________________________________________________________________________

Item

Pope Benedict XVI played host to King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia this week in an historic first meeting for the two leaders. The Pope and the King immediately remarked on the similarities of their circumstances:

Both men wear dresses. (The Pope inquired of the King, "Who are you wearing?")

Both leaders broach no deviation from the strict adherence to the fundamental tenents of their respective religions (although the Pope did draw the line at beheadings.)

And most important, both men are trying to lead their respective flocks back to the tenth centurty.

It was unreported as to whether the two men traded team jerseys.

...or will issuing driver's licenses to illegals drive Eliot Spitzer crazy?

Can God create a puzzle that God can't solve? Can the Governor of New York create a puzzle that Hillary Clinton can't solve? How many Democratic Presidential Candidates can fit on the head of a pin? Weighty questions indeed! These are not, however, the issues that currently plague the Democratic Governor of New York. Instead, Gov. Spitzer is wondering which one of his aides to assassinate for suggesting the issuing of driver's licenses to New York's one million illegal residents (including about 50,000 Irish). This political hand grenade was clearly manufactured by the same company that gave Bill Clinton a stinkbomb called "Don't ask, don't tell". A fact or two is required before we proceed: First, Eliot Spitzer didn't dream up this bit of political suicide by himself. As of 2003, 15 states allowed undocumented "guests" to own a driver's license. Lest you think that the roster is comprised exclusively of blue-state lefties, think again. Idaho, Montana, North Carolina and Utah are on the list. Massachusetts is not. (The current number of states on the list is seven but isitjustme is too lazy to do all that research to discover which ones they are.) Second, the law enforcement community is mostly in favor of licensing everyone who drives a car. Because the task of mopping up America's highways falls to them, you can see their point. Better to have illegals trained, tested and licensed, with insurance, based on the theory that they will probably drive anyway. Cops may be Conservatives at heart but they are pragmatic. Also, a driver is less likely to leave the scene of an accident if they know that they won't end up calling AllState from Guatemala. The Governor's plan, to issue undocumented drivers a special license which will declare their status as illegal, addressed some of the concerns regarding voting and boarding a plane but why read the fine print when yelling "treason" is so much more fun? By the way, could someone, anyone please stuff a sock in Lou Dobbs' mouth. This boy is in serious need of Ritalin. The way he rants and goes all red-in-the-face on the subject of immigration, you'd think that all 12 million illegals moved into his condo complex. I wonder who cuts his lawn and cleans his toilets? No one is forgetting that there are 12 million folks at our party without an invitation. Many of these people work hard and live so far below the radar that no one knows how many are really here. We are faced with an issue that presents few good solutions. Conservatives, as usual, smell blood in the waters. Immigration will be the wedge issue in 2008 and the Karl Rove types will certainly paint Democrats as "soft on illegals". The driver's license issue in New York doesn't help. Democrats will need to get out in front of this or risk a repeat of 2000/2004. Sadly, many of my fellow citizens have the attention span of a Great Dane and a gut issue like illegal immigration can easily make them forget Katrina, Iraq (six years, 2900 Americans dead, no end in sight), and all of the myriad failures of Bush 43. Kansas will cling to any issue that will allow them to vote Red. The issue of illegals is too important to reduce to political sound bites. Everyone with an IQ of two digits understands that there is no quick fix. We need bipartisan solutions that are workable and address the long range goals of stopping millions of strangers from entering America illegally. Unfortunately we are entering an election year and the Republicans are in deep trouble. Don't expect any intelligent proposals in 2008. In the meantime, try to limit all your driving to New Jersey.

...or do Bush appointees, like celebrities, exit in three's?

If so then we have two more resignations to look forward to. In today's news we learned that Karen Hughes, Undersecretary of State for Public Diplomacy is leaving the administration, for the second time. In 2002 Ms. Hughes resigned her role as counselor to the President to return to Texas. Presumably Texas had fewer snakes. Karen is one of the last members of the Republican posse that rode in from the Lone Star State in 2001. By the time George W. begins his lonely ride into the sunset (445 days from now but, who's counting?), he will almost certainly be riding solo. The defection rate at 1600 Pennsylvania is a bit surprising. Why bother leaving now? Having served in the Bush administration, none of his appointees has a prayer of being elected to any office higher than Postmaster or offered a job by anyone other than Blackwater. Karen Hughes is resigning from what must arguably be the most difficult job in this administration. She had the thankless task of attempting to, somehow, resurrect the image of America throughout the world. It speaks volumes about the hubris of George W. Bush that, having personally supervised the destruction of American good will throughout the world (we currently rank just ahead of the clap), he would attempt to reverse that trend using tea parties and Cal Ripken, Jr. (In a recent NY Times, Harris poll even the most primitive societies understood that: a) America is the Great Satan and, b) Brittany Spears doesn't wear underwear.) Memo to George: They don't hate us for our freedom...or our MTV or our bluejeans. They hate us because you stride the world like a colossus, demanding that everyone think like Dick Cheney and threatening Armageddon if anyone opposes us. That's not diplomacy. That's thuggery. I'm not sure what Ms. Hughes thought she could accomplish on her trips to the Middle East, especially with American boots on the ground in the region. Her crusade against breast cancer was heroic and well intentioned, but with a 500-pound gorilla in the room (that pesky invasion) it's tough to get your audience to focus . Her campaign might have played a little better if she had warmed up in front of a audience that was a bit less hostile; say Ireland or Luxembourg. Diving straight into the icy waters of Turkey or Syria was, to say the least, naive. The truly sad part of Ms. Hughes' doomed-from-the-start mission was the clueless, tone-deaf President who sent her out there. Did George W. really believe that a guest appearance from a wealthy Republican mom from Texas would soften the hearts of women who live in servitude? Think Julie, the cruise director, on a slave ship. "I'm a mother just like you". Really? And how many children have you lost to starvation? At least she didn't break out the Mary Kay cosmetics and the Tupperware. This President has no hope of rebuilding our relationships with Europe or the Middle East or anybody else. He is the reason that American foreign policy is in tatters. His ham-handed threats and go-it-alone style are why leaders like Hugo Chavez and Emo Morales can be elected so easily. Just attack America in your speeches and you're a lock. If George W. Bush wants to see America's reputation in Europe rebound overnight...resign. I can tell you first-hand that it's not Americans that Europeans hate, it's the current American President. Friendship with GWB brought down a Prime Minister as popular as Tony Blair. If that's not toxic, what is? Anyway, best of luck to Karen Hughes. You have been a good friend to a President who knows how to reward loyalty...just ask Alberto Gonzales. The juicy post of Ambassador to Iraq may be available soon so, the next time you get an offer for a good job with lots of international travel, politely decline.