I am the reincarnation of Edward R. Morrow .
I am the reincarnation of Edward R. Morrow.
I am the reincarnation of Edward R. Morrow.
How am I doing so far? I didn't think so. So how come it appears to be working for the Republicans?
Sarah Palin continuously repeats the story that she rejected the bridge project intended to span the Tongass Narrows. (You know it as the bridge to nowhere.) John "if I were President" McCain wants to fire the chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission even though Christopher Cox, current chairman, is not a Presidential appointee. McCain, a lifelong defender of deregulation, now rails at a financial system without rules. As long as you stay away from newsmen who are likely to research the record and call you out as a liar, you can just make stuff up as you go along. You know you're in the funhouse when the most difficult questions you field come from comedienne Joy Behar on The View.
This style of prevarication became popular when the current administration began peddling the Iraq War. "Iraq caused 9-11." "Iraq is building nukes." "We will be treated as liberators." and the ever popular "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED." Can you imagine the surprise and delight when the gang in the White House discovered that Goebbels was right; you can feed a gullible population limitless amounts of crap provided you say it often enough and you are perceived to be in authority? America wants to believe that its leaders are sincere. Tragically, that naivete is being perverted by the people in power to further their own agenda. Stay asleep America. Your President is on the job.
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And on the subject of Clueless George, exactly how much did Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson explain to his Commander in Chief about the financial bailout currently working its way toward Congress? Do you suspect that he used small words and spoke very slowly? We know that George has an MBA from Yale but I suspect he used it as a coaster at his last kegger during graduation. Still he did appoint Mr. Paulson to his post at Treasury reinforcing the notion that even blind squirrels find nuts periodically. Based on the events of last week we can only conclude that George has, in fact, left the building...and only seven years too late.
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If you can secure a copy of last Sunday's New York Times, check out the story about the retirement benefits paid to employees of the Long Island Railroad. It seems that 94% , that's right 94%, of retired workers have applied for and received disability benefits. Their work contract permits railroad workers to retire as early as 50 years old and almost all of them immediately apply for disability. The ruling body that approves these claims, the Railroad Retirement Board, virtually always grants the request. And we're not just talking about guys who maintain the track or drive trains. The payments also go to office staff including the former deputy general counsel (must be carpal tunnel) and the director of community affairs (sore throat from all that talking). The labyrinthine system of sweetheart union contracts and Byzantine work rules governing America's rail system insures that anything is possible. Railroad officials state that most of the disabled workers were able bodied prior to applying for early retirement. No kidding?
In response to the mountain of evidence of fraud and maleficence, L.I.R.R. president, Helena Williams said, "The railroad's on-time record has never been better." In fairness, this is not Ms. Williams' fault. Many of the absurd work rules that govern life on the rails have their origins in the 19th century. Until 1990, a railroad crew was paid for a full day's work after traveling only 100 miles; the distance a steam locomotive could travel in a day. In 1990 it was raised ...to 108 miles. Firemen/stokers were required, by law,to ride in the cab of diesel trains until the 1990's. Welcome to Hooterville.
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Since when did candidates for President and Vice President get permission to campaign without a tie? People, we are not running for president of the Yacht club or the Moose lodge. This is a serious job. The least you could do is dress up for the interview. I understand that it's hot out there on the campaign trail. I get that you are trying to appeal to the "regular guy". That doesn't mean that you get to stand on the podium dressed for dinner at "the club". A candidate for President should not be attired more casually than the junior class at Cardinal Hayes High School.
This is just the most obvious example of our would-be leaders attempting to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Time was when a serious candidate was required to face a grilling on Face The Nation and Meet The Press. Bill Clinton appeared on The Tonight Show. I expect that Sarah Palin's next attempt to establish credibility will be a guest shot on "Survivor, Wasilla". When did this happen? When did America decide that we could only be led by "average" people? Was FDR average? Was Nixon? Kennedy? OK, Lincoln might have appeared average, but that's not what got him elected.
Ask yourself (especially if you are a Sarah Palin groupie), could you be President? Could your spouse? How about your town mayor? Then why, in the name of God, would you apply the "she's just like us" litmus test to a candidate for the highest office in the land? "Elite" is a compliment. "Bright, eloquent, polished" are things to be admired, not derided. I have an idea, let's vote for someone who's "smarter than a fifth grader". In the long run, we will spend a lot less time answering the question, "What were you thinking?"
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Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn have demanded that the city close two bicycle paths in their Crown Heights neighborhood. Apparently the ultraconservative sect objects to the paucity of clothing worn/ not worn by the female cyclists. I concur. There should be a law that, the more skin you have, the less you can show.
Considering all of the issues that divide the Jews and the Muslims, it's comforting to see that the two groups share one belief...scantily clad women are the tool of Satan. Rumor has it that both the Jews and Muslims have banded together in a rare show of solidarity to demand that the Walt Disney company buy Donald Duck a pair of pants.
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And under the heading, "you can't make this stuff up", a mixed-breed male dog named Scooby made legal history by testifying at the murder trial of a man accused of hanging his master. The dog barked furiously when he saw the suspect. Upon cross examination, the defense lawyer argued that considering that the crime took place two and a half years ago (17 dog years), the dog's memory must be ruled unreliable. Oh, did I mention that the case was tried in France? Mon Dieu! Do you imagine that the pooch was sworn in by putting his right paw on a copy of Lassie, Come Home? What must the trial transcript look like? "Will the court reporter please read back the last response? Woof,woof, woof arf, arf, woof. I'll stop now."
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