Wednesday, June 25, 2008

...was Peggy Lee refering to reality TV when she sang, "Is that all there is"?

I really hate reality TV. It would be a wonderful thing if "Big Brother", "The Bachelor", "The Bachelorette", "Extreme Makeover", "Hell's Kitchen", "America's Next Top Model" and all the rest of this dreck donated their air time to National Geographic or The Weather Channel or C-SPAN reruns.



It's still only June, so the prospect of an actual scripted show appearing anywhere on the major networks (thank God for TNT) is alarmingly limited. NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox will be content with filling their prime time slots with re-reruns (the same shows that ran endlessly during the writer's strike) and a steady stream of reality. It's enough to make you go get some exercise. Well, maybe not!

The impetus for this particular rant was the bill of fare available last night, Wednesday, June 25th. Your choices include: "Celebrity Circus", "So You Think You Can Dance" (two hours), "Wife Swap", "Supernanny", "Farmer Wants A Wife "and the most egregious of all, "Baby Borrowers". Holy Walmart, Batman! I realize that "Law & Order" and "Criminal Minds" aren't Macbeth but at least they have actors and a plot. The plot of Wife Swap appears to include abusive language, the police and possible restraining orders.



At least the recent spate of revived game shows has the potential to be engaging. Audiences who remember the original "Password" and "Price is Right" will presumably be entertained by the updated versions. Good old "Jeopardy" has yet to crack prime time but I suspect that today's TV viewer would rather watch Howie Mandel attempt to calm a hyperventilating housewife than attempt to answer a question requiring actual knowledge. (I liked Howie better on "St. Elsewhere".)

As difficult as this is to admit, shows like "Nashville Star" and "So You Think You Can Dance" occasionally expose someone with a modicum of talent. Gleeful network execs have discovered that, with a few B-list celebs and one or two gifted amateurs, you can fill an entire hour. Take that, Jerry Bruckheimer! Even the mean-spirited Simon Cowell occasionally stumbles across a decent singer . I just don't want to watch him do it.

Particular derision is reserved for a new show called "Baby Borrowers". Due to the dubious success of "Wife Swap", the masterminds at NBC have presented their viewers with a show involving handing children in various stages of life to five teenage couples. As to who would be crazy enough to volunteer their baby to be exploited in this video lab experiment, ask NBC. The moguls at National Broadcasting must not have noticed the child abuse and exploitation issues which arose at CBS over last year's disaster, "Kid Nation". Anyway, I guess that the fun is derived in watching young couples cope with the problems of parenthood. If "Baby Borrowers" fails as a prime time show, NBC can always re-market the product as a cautionary tale for the use of condoms.

Television is a totally democratic medium. If you don't like something, watch something else. If enough people do that, shows get cancelled. Remember "Clash of the Choirs"? How about "Viva Laughlin"? Neither does anyone else.



Tragically, the reverse is also true. Keep that in mind when you tune in to the last fifteen minutes of "America's Got Talent". You just might be encouraging some network wonk to dream up a show like, "America's Got Taste?" or "America's Shrinking IQ".

Saturday, June 21, 2008

...or am I so short that the fast ones go right over my head?

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In the world of chutzpa there are amateurs and professionals. Larry Craig, the wide-stance senator from Idaho, is a amateur. His decision to keep his seat (that would be his Senate seat, not the one in the Minneapolis men's room) was nervy but hardly noteworthy.

Congressman William Jefferson of Louisiana, on the other hand, is pure professional. You may remember the honorable representative from New Orleans as the legislator who owned a $70,000 Fridge, all in cash. Congressman Jefferson isn't about to let a trifling item like a sixteen count federal corruption indictment interrupt his glittering career as a legislator. Dollar Bill has announced that he will be running for his tenth term as the representative of Louisiana's second district. Considering the likes of Huey Long, David Dukes, David Vetter and Edwin "Fast Eddie" Edwards, it's nice to see that tradition still matters even if it's a tradition of corruption. And you thought all the backed-up sewage in New Orleans had been cleared.


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Ashcroft redux.


A Romanian village re-elected Mayor Neculai Ivascu to a new term in spite of the fact that he died shortly before the election. Villagers expressed a reluctance to change. It is now possible to speculate that Kansas is secretly populated with Romanians.



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Our friends at the Vatican have decided to forbid any filming for the prequel to the Di Vinci Code on any Church property in Rome. Apparently the mere mention of Dan Brown is enough to send the Holy See running for their rosary beads. The RCC clearly doesn't appreciate Brown's rather novel interpretation of Church doctrine. I'll bet those spoil-sports would have blocked "The Bells of Saint Mary" and don't even get them started about "Angels in the Outfield".




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And on the subject of religion, Hindus are concerned that Mike Meyers' new movie "The Love Guru" demeans their culture. They must hate Apu on the Simpsons. Fear not, gentle people. This film is so bad even the detainees at Guantanamo won't watch it and they like to laugh at Hindus.




Thankfully, unlike Muslims, Hindus do not feel the need to execute everyone associated with the production of films that offend them. There has, however, been a fatwa posted against Mike Meyers by the producers of Pluto Nash who are upset at losing their bragging rights to the title "worst movie ever made".



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The Republican Party is so desperate to find some flaw in the character of Barak Obama they are trying to make an issue of campaign financing. The details of this canard would put Fred Thompson to sleep but then, so does everything else. The McCain people continue to hammer away with phrases like, "broke his promise", "went back on his word" and the dreaded "flip-flop". (Is there any chance we could get a moratorium on flip-flop for Campaign 2008?)

McCain is frosted because Obama is killing him in the money-raising dept. America has already started voting with their checkbooks. Sadly for McCain, usual fat-cat Republican industrialists, having created sow's ear politicians like George W. Bush, are a bit chilled by McCain's cantankerous views. So the McCain people are screaming because Sen. Obama is paying for his campaign without taxpayer money. Good luck gaining any traction with that.

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The Inspector General' s office of the Justice Department has issued a report which confirms what everyone in Washington already knows. During the time that Alberto Gonzales was Attorney General and while Karl Rove and Harriet Meyers were still a Rasputin-like force in the White House, the hiring process at Justice was co-opted by conservative ideologues. There sole charge was to recommend only "vetted" candidates whose political and social beliefs were in lock step with the Bush Administration.


Although Rove has his pudgy fingerprints all over this bit of cynicism, the practitioners were the minions on the steering committee. Singled out for special scorn was one Esther Slater McDonald. As a graduate of Pensacola Christian College and Notre Dame Law (I guess Liberty College was full up) her role was to identify and tag any candidate who showed signs of "wrong thinking" . That included a Stanford grad who had written a law review article on discrimination in the military and a Harvard alum who had worked as a paralegal at Planned Parenthood.

In case you're thinking that this is just a perk of the incumbent party and that "everybody does it", forget that.

Prior to 2002 jobs at Justice for the honors and intern programs were awarded based on merit. The process only became truly perverted during the Bush years, particularly in 2006 under Gonzales. The situation became so polluted that even senior Bush appointees were holding their noses.



George the Lesser has a lot to answer for but, allowing entire departments of government like Interior, Environmental Protection and, Justice to be corrupted by scum like Rove, Meyers, Gail Norton, and Gonzales is neglect bordering on the criminal. Nixon may have been a crook but he was never guilty of this level of incompetence.

...or did I hear the Supremes singing "Stop in the Name of Love"?

Ah, The Supremes! You gotta love 'em. They may be a little long in the tooth but the harmonies are still there.

Last week we heard the quintet of Ruth, Anthony, John Paul, David and Steven deliver the sweetest sound we have heard since the last time the Liberty Bell was struck. I'm speaking, of course, of the Supreme Court decision in Boumediene vs. Bush which hopefully, results in the closing of the Guantanamo Gulag forever.
By establishing that a detainee can challenge in federal court the government's right to incarcerate him, the Supreme Court has forced the Bush administration to offer some proof that the people in jail in Cuba are guilty of something.

Naturally, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, Scalia, Thomas (aka "Lil Antonin"), Roberts and Alito voted for the administration. Why not? Having put George the Lesser in power, they may as well back his play.

The fascinating aspect of the dissent was that there was virtually no mention of the law. Scalia bloviated about the body count that will result if the 275 or so prisoners in Gitmo are turned loose by the federal court system. At no time did we hear his famous rant about original intent. That's probably because the right to habeas corpus was critical to the Founding Fathers. A person's right to argue the reasons for his imprisonment is black letter law. Since when is Scalia a proponent of situational interpretation? I can understand Judge Antonin's concern. Having locked these people up and tortured them for six years, I'm not sure I want them loose either. They're probably a little steamed having missed six Super Bowls and the entire run of Dancing With the Stars.

Scalia's dissent presupposes several troubling issues. Is the most powerful country in the world really afraid of 275 guys? They must be pretty scary. Also, is the government's case against these folks so weak that federal judges around the country would laugh the prosecutors out of court? If there is no evidence to support even one conviction, why are they in jail?

The Administration's two-step regarding the prisoners at Guantanamo would take first prize at any Motown dance contest. They are enemy combatants but not entitled to the protection of the Geneva Conventions because they don't wear uniforms nor belong to an organized army. Holding them in an offshore prison sidestepped the need to address habeas corpus. That was, until the Court stepped in.

The decision handed down last week is the third smack in the back of the head that the Court has inflicted on the Bush cabal since we started scooping up the world's citizens and renditioning them to hostile hostels around the world. The Court has repeatedly taken Lil George to the woodshed because he is apparently too dense to grasp the notion that 9-11 was not a blank check to torture, incarcerate and eliminate anyone with a dark complexion and a Middle Eastern accent.

We all know why Americans are oblivious to the treatment of Guantanamo's prisoners. If they were Irishmen or Frenchmen, if their skin was lighter or, if they were Christians, none of this would be happening. We should be ashamed. National Security is a perfectly good reason to deny a plane ticket to a shady character. Flying is not a constitutional right. We do not however, have the right to imprison Muslims who attend an anti -American mosque in Munich or run a printing press in Yemen that produces pro-Iranian pamphlets.

George Bush and John McCain are fond of regurgitating the fallacy that "if we withdraw, the terrorists win". Wake up, boys! If we continue to shred the Constitution for the sake of a vague notion of National Security, the terrorists have already won. If we persist in riding roughshod over the world because we think that 3,000 dead Americans in lower Manhattan gives us the right, the terrorists have already won. If America forgets that our strength comes from compassion and tolerance not from the point of a lance, the terrorists have already won. If four hijacked airplanes is all it takes to drive us into the arms of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, we may already be lost.

The upcoming election will be a referendum on American courage. Are we brave enough to defend the Constitution when it most needs defending or will we hide behind misguided leaders who "know what's best". Wake me on Nov 5th.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

... or is experience only important when you have it?

Barak Obama is the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. This fact is not in dispute. The task of the Obama campaign will be to convince the country to take a chance on a man whose resume is, admittedly, somewhat thin.

Much will be written in the coming months about the value of "experience". Since the election of Franklin Roosevelt, (there are no written records before 1932) America has elected four Senators, five governors, one VP and one general. Jerry Ford was a House Member but not elected. Nixon and Truman were Senators but also VP's.

No discernible pattern has emerged thus far. Among the governors, we appear to be three and two. Roosevelt, Clinton and Reagan get good grades; Carter and GW Bush, not so much. Our Senatorial Presidents are a bit tougher to evaluate. Kennedy died too early and Johnson cannot get past Vietnam. Truman gets the highest marks and Nixon, if you include him, the lowest. (Ike did pretty well but, unless General Petraeus plans a last minute bid, Eisenhower's success is irrelevant to this discord.) George H.W. Bush (hereafter referred to as B-41) is looking better all the time.

What all this proves is...well...not much. B-41 had a dump truck full of experience at every level of government and it didn't get him a second term. It's unfair to reduce four years as president to "no new taxes". Jack Kennedy had almost no experience and yet he appears to have acquitted himself admirably considering the challenges of his time.

Is a career in the Senate of more value to a president than a term or two as the governor of, say, California? Has John McCain accumulated a vast storehouse of valuable knowledge in Washington or just a lot of lobbyist baggage? Is Barak Obama better for having served only a short time in the Senate before deal-making and compromising corrupted his soul? Who can say?

What is clear is that Obama is a man perfect for his time. After eight years of the most cynical, oppressive, mean-spirited, secretive, underhanded (I'm almost done) incompetent, joyless, deceitful government we have seen since Nixon, we are ready for something, anything, else. Ronald Reagan succeeded by reminding America that, in spite of American hostages in Iran and the gas crisis, this was still a great country. When you listen to Obama you get the same sense of hope and promise.

We have spent the last 6 1/2 years being afraid. The current administration has used and amplified that fear to justify a string of questionable and, in some cases, illegal acts. All that is required to sidestep the Constitution is to begin your speech with the hobgoblins of al qaeda, terrorists and evildoers (possibly the stupidest word ever uttered by a president).

America needs something else. Being afraid all the time is tiring; just ask the Israelis. We already know that we are a great country. We don't need lapel pins to remind us. However, what makes us great is us; not our army, not our arrogance, not even our history. American greatness is writ small, in the thousands and thousands of acts of charity and good fellowship that happen every day. Our capacity to love, tolerate and understand will endure long after the Iraq War ends and the towers are rebuilt.

Barak Obama looks like something else: a way forward. The rest doesn't matter. Eisenhower knew nothing about domestic issues. He learned. George W. Bush bought a map so he could see all those other countries out there.
Don't kid yourself. No one is ready to be President on day one; although B-41 was pretty close. Obama will learn like every president learns. It's how well and how fast that will determine the success or failure of his time in office.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

...or does "supporting the troops" mean "supporting the troops"?

Let me see if I have this correct...the history of the Bush administration with regard to Americans in uniform over the past six years reads as follows:



George W. Bush sent an undermanned force (even John McCain said so) into Iraq without any understanding of what they would encounter on the ground. There was no intelligence estimate as to how the population of the country would respond and no thought given to how to govern a broken society. ("They will treat us as liberators" is not a policy nor a plan).



The soldiers were, and still are, improperly equipped to meet the challenges they face. Troops were scavenging metal plates to arm the floors of their vehicles. Parents were holding raffles to send proper flak vests to sons and daughters. No attempt was made to rush equipment into the field.



Troops living in places like Fort Bragg were subjected to barracks conditions that would cause migrant workers in California to head for the border.



If they were wounded, the medical care provided at such famed institutions as Walter Reed Hospital could only be described as deplorable.



Should they suffer from PTSD (presumably the Patton-esque vice president equates this with malingering) they are sent to a new facility at Ft. Benning. Unfortunately the quarters for these recovering personnel are 200 yards from a firing range. You can't make this stuff up. Exactly who decided that the best environment for shell-shocked troops was a live fire zone?



If by some miracle they manage to survive this "Born on the Forth of July" nightmare they can attend any state university on scholarship. That bit of largess comes courtesy of the U.S. Congress, having recently overridden a Bush veto of the new GI Bill. It seems that President "Vietnam No-show" decided that if service people could go to college after only a three year hitch they might not sign up for more of that first class treatment the Army provides. By the way, John McCain, the uber-sailor, agrees.



By any measure, the Bush administration's tone-deaf incompetence and indifference to the conditions faced by American servicemen and women border on the criminal. Face it, Kansas; this President doesn't give a good god damn about your sons and daughters fighting his war and none of you are holding him accountable. When a Pat Tillman or a Jessica Lynch provides a Kodak moment or an opportunity for a propaganda campaign we all don our flag lapel pins and join in the singing of God Bless America. When the bunting comes down it's the soldiers who are left to sweep up the confetti. But, hell, they volunteered, didn't they?