This and that from the headlines:
Item
The Catholic Church has another of its middle managers off the reservation. Archbishop Raymond Leo Burke apparently didn't get the memo about love and forgiveness. As a one-man Inquisition (you can't Torquemada anything), Archbishop Burke has been in the news more than Anna Nicole Smith.
Since being installed as Archbishop of St. Louis, Most Reverend Burke has attempted to restore a measure of the temporal supremacy the RCC has not seen since the Reformation. He decreed that politicians supporting pro-choice should be denied Holy Communion. That was followed by the pronouncement that anyone who voted for such a candidate would likewise be denied the Eucharist. I suspect that the next bull (they call them that for a reason, you know!) would have condemned anyone that lived next door to a Democrat to perdition. However, Rome saw that the good archbishop was in fact, over-reaching. Archbishop Burke retracted his condemnation of voters shortly thereafter but I assume that his Most Reverend fingers were crossed.
He has spoken with disfavor of the Harry Potter books, calling them "irreligious". Considering that the inhabitants of Hogwarts wear flowing robes and change things by spells and incantations, one can only suppose that Most Rev.Burke is concerned about the competition.
Determined to leave no tern unstoned, he protested a Catholic hospital benefit concert featuring Sheryl Crow because of Ms. Crow's support of abortion rights and stem cell research. When the hospital board voted against him, he resigned as chairman. Talk about your spoil sports! Anyway, we wish Archbishop Burke well and joyfully anticipate the introduction of his new line of hair shirts and sterling silver cilices, sure to be a big hit at the Opus Dei Picnic and Swap Meet.
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Item
In a fruitless effort to redirect my liberal soul to the path of conservative righteousness, a good friend of mine continuously bombards my email with links to sites that: a) support the war on Iraq, b) support George W. Bush and c) support all things Republican. Fat chance! Nevertheless, I occasionally click on one of these diatribes just to see how the other side lives and thinks.
However, something caught my eye yesterday that requires comment. A conservative blogger noted that back in 2004, the New York Times was printing daily stories about Abu Graib on the front page of the paper while relegating the presentation of the Medal of Honor to the "B" Section. On its face, that appears both biased and wrong-headed. Regardless of your political inclination, we understand that the Medal of Honor is a rare and prestigious award. Its presentation should be accompanied by respect and public acknowledgement.
Sadly though, at the rate with which this administration spins the news out of Iraq, it is difficult to know the truth of any information. We were told that Jessica Lynch was a courageous hero, raped and tortured by the godless enemy. Then Jessica came home and told us that she was anything but. She refused to accept praise that was undeserved. She went back to West Virginia where she resumed her former life. She has repeatedly criticized the Army for making up details for propaganda. Now that's heroism.
Then there's the saga of Pat Tilman, the Army ranger who quit pro football only to be killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan. The only truth we know thus far is that the Pentagon was so desperate to turn Tilman into the poster boy for American patriotism they barely investigated his death at all. His family is theatening legal action.
I'm sure that all of the heroes of this unnecessary conflict deserve the medals and decorations that have been awarded. However, when a government has shown itself to be as self serving and deceitful as this one, nothing can be taken at face value. It is not the bravery of our military that we question but the government spinners that provide the information. For them, even section "B" is too prominent.
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Item
The subject of illegal immigration refuses to go away. I continue to be saddened and surprised by the venom with which so many Americans view this issue. Yes, Latin immigrants, illegal and otherwise are poor and poor people commit crimes and go to jail. They work for subsistence wages and therefore need a little help. Call it "welfare" if it makes you feel superior. Are we so far from the Irish slums of lower New York that the smell no longer seems familiar? Are the "Irish need not apply" signs so far in our past that we no longer feel the sting and the shame?
This discussion isn't about misguided California school boards who want bilingual education in their schools (something that Spanish speakers don't want and didn't ask for). It's about third and fourth generation Americans with an unnatural fear of Latin influences on American culture.
Who are we...the French? What is it we're protecting? Regardless of immigrants from Mexico, Americans will still have the God-given right to mangle the language, eat at McDonald's, watch "America's Funniest Home Videos", and send mildly pornographic jokes to their friends during working hours. Viva America!
You say that you didn't invite them but whenever you hire a lawn service or admire the greens at your country club, you invited them. When you bitch about the cost of a head of lettuce or a pound of tomatoes, you invited them. When you express surprise at the $20 breakfast bill at the diner, you invited them. If you think the cost of gasoline is out of sight, wait 'til you have to pay Americans to cut grass and bus tables.
Most of the people who are here illegally risked their lives to come. Considering their numbers, they are invisible to most of us most of the time. It's true that your taxes are used to provide assistance to an illegal underground population, but it can't be any more painful than the billions that George W. Bush is using to fight his immoral, unnecessary war.
I don't have a single answer to this problem but I'm pretty sure that hate and fear won't make it any better. Let's just have a hot dog and a cerveza and keep talking about it.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
...or will America ever embrace a "smart" candidate?
Item
Al Gore was in Washington, DC this week addressing the students of George Washington University regarding his latest book, "Assault On Reason". (This is Al's fifth book which is one more than George W. Bush owns and two more than he has read.) One look at the SRO crowd packing Lisner Auditorium and you come away with a startling discovery: Al Gore is the hottest thing in politics (Fred Dalton Thompson notwithstanding).
Free of the consultants that crippled his run for president in 2000, Al has found his voice. Now that he is wearing a roomier pair of pants he has space for the all the intelligence that was squeezed out of the khakis he wore the last time. Should he decide to run (50-50 at this point) he will raise the level of discourse to a level befitting an American Presidential election. A sure road to disaster.
Sadly, even if Al gets nominated, he has virtually no shot to be elected. Middle America has shown time and time again that it has no love for candidates with brains. Exhibit A, of course, is the current occupant of 1600. Quod erat demonstrandum. If George W. is the benchmark for intellect in America, there is a real possibility that Barbaro (had he not died) could have been elected Governor of Kentucky.
Karl Rove sees Al Gore as a dream candidate. The easiest politician to defeat is someone that actually stands for something and has been foolish enough to write it down. Rove might have trouble with Obama. His record is too thin to eviscerate. Gore, on the other hand, is a political assassin dream. He admits to having read Gibbon's The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (GWB is waiting for the movie). He can discuss Galbraith, Mill and McLuhan (George understands them to be the heart of the Texas Rangers batting order). When challenged to "wax philosophically" Mr. Bush seems likely to reach for the Simonize. In an era of sound bites and catch-phrases, a candidate with intellectual credentials is a dead duck.
Recent examples abound. Disregarding the obsequious adoration being heaped on Ronald Reagan especially since his death, no one ever accused "The Great Communicator" of communicating any deep thoughts. Nevertheless, he defeated Jimmy Carter, himself a student of nuclear engineering, who was no match for a man who started every response with, "Well...".
Face it, Nebraska thinks that "elite" is a dirty word. "Intellectual" is a non-starter. Middle America wants the common touch. They want a down-to-earth guy (and it better be a guy's guy) who thinks like them. OK, hold that thought. Why would you ever vote for someone that thinks a perfect evening's entertainment is a six-pack of Coors and reruns of American Idol and Survivor, Fiji? What ever happened to America's Best and Brightest? Have they really been replaced by Dumb and Dumber?
America voted for George W. Bush because he didn't threaten anyone's sense of self. Eastern "intellectuals" like John Kerry (if Kerry is an intellectual, I'm Walter Winchell) appear smug to farmers in Missouri. Candidates from the East Coast act as if they know what's best for America and you're a hayseed. George Bush makes everyone around him feel smarter. He looks a little lost; like you or I would be. His language (whatever language he speaks) isn't polished. He has made being ordinary into a trademark. When he enters a room, the band should forget "Hail to the Chief" and strike up "Ode For the Common Man".
I have an idea! How about we nominate a candidate with an IQ in triple digits? How about we choose for the most important job in the world, a person who has more upstairs than a great haircut (John Edwards notwithstanding)? We're talking about a President who will not only have to lead America through a truly perilous time but will have to undo all of the harm done by Clueless George in the last eight years. It is imperative that, when someone says "boob" we immediately think of breasts rather than our Commander in Chief. Let's draft Al Gore for President. He's tan, refreshed and ready...and he has clearly had lunch!
Al Gore was in Washington, DC this week addressing the students of George Washington University regarding his latest book, "Assault On Reason". (This is Al's fifth book which is one more than George W. Bush owns and two more than he has read.) One look at the SRO crowd packing Lisner Auditorium and you come away with a startling discovery: Al Gore is the hottest thing in politics (Fred Dalton Thompson notwithstanding).
Free of the consultants that crippled his run for president in 2000, Al has found his voice. Now that he is wearing a roomier pair of pants he has space for the all the intelligence that was squeezed out of the khakis he wore the last time. Should he decide to run (50-50 at this point) he will raise the level of discourse to a level befitting an American Presidential election. A sure road to disaster.
Sadly, even if Al gets nominated, he has virtually no shot to be elected. Middle America has shown time and time again that it has no love for candidates with brains. Exhibit A, of course, is the current occupant of 1600. Quod erat demonstrandum. If George W. is the benchmark for intellect in America, there is a real possibility that Barbaro (had he not died) could have been elected Governor of Kentucky.
Karl Rove sees Al Gore as a dream candidate. The easiest politician to defeat is someone that actually stands for something and has been foolish enough to write it down. Rove might have trouble with Obama. His record is too thin to eviscerate. Gore, on the other hand, is a political assassin dream. He admits to having read Gibbon's The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (GWB is waiting for the movie). He can discuss Galbraith, Mill and McLuhan (George understands them to be the heart of the Texas Rangers batting order). When challenged to "wax philosophically" Mr. Bush seems likely to reach for the Simonize. In an era of sound bites and catch-phrases, a candidate with intellectual credentials is a dead duck.
Recent examples abound. Disregarding the obsequious adoration being heaped on Ronald Reagan especially since his death, no one ever accused "The Great Communicator" of communicating any deep thoughts. Nevertheless, he defeated Jimmy Carter, himself a student of nuclear engineering, who was no match for a man who started every response with, "Well...".
Face it, Nebraska thinks that "elite" is a dirty word. "Intellectual" is a non-starter. Middle America wants the common touch. They want a down-to-earth guy (and it better be a guy's guy) who thinks like them. OK, hold that thought. Why would you ever vote for someone that thinks a perfect evening's entertainment is a six-pack of Coors and reruns of American Idol and Survivor, Fiji? What ever happened to America's Best and Brightest? Have they really been replaced by Dumb and Dumber?
America voted for George W. Bush because he didn't threaten anyone's sense of self. Eastern "intellectuals" like John Kerry (if Kerry is an intellectual, I'm Walter Winchell) appear smug to farmers in Missouri. Candidates from the East Coast act as if they know what's best for America and you're a hayseed. George Bush makes everyone around him feel smarter. He looks a little lost; like you or I would be. His language (whatever language he speaks) isn't polished. He has made being ordinary into a trademark. When he enters a room, the band should forget "Hail to the Chief" and strike up "Ode For the Common Man".
I have an idea! How about we nominate a candidate with an IQ in triple digits? How about we choose for the most important job in the world, a person who has more upstairs than a great haircut (John Edwards notwithstanding)? We're talking about a President who will not only have to lead America through a truly perilous time but will have to undo all of the harm done by Clueless George in the last eight years. It is imperative that, when someone says "boob" we immediately think of breasts rather than our Commander in Chief. Let's draft Al Gore for President. He's tan, refreshed and ready...and he has clearly had lunch!
Monday, May 21, 2007
... or can you never get too much of a good thing?
Item
We probably can't jail George W. Bush for being the most incompetent leader since Charlie Chaplin's Dictator so I guess we must be content flogging his hirelings. This brings us to the doorstep of one Monica Goodling (great name). Unlike the last Monica, it appears that Ms. Goodling did her "job" standing up.
Monica G. was a top aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and as such is up to her briefcase in the US Attorney firings that have been in the news for the last few months. The rock-turning that uncovered Ms. Goodling also revealed an interesting fact. As of a recent survey by The Boston Globe, the Bush Justice Department had hired a staggering 150 graduates of Regent University Law School, Ms. Goodling among them. If you haven't heard of Regent don't be too surprised. It used to be known as CBN (for Christian Broadcasting Network) School of Law. The school is the incubation chamber for Pat Robertson's own brand of Christian lawyers. Those would be the ones that blame 9-11 on homosexuals... God's wrath, you know! Pat serves as President.
Loyalty to a particular school is charming but, considering the serious nature of the Justice Department's mandate one would hope for scholars from an institution higher in standing than the Acme School of Air Conditioner Repair. US News & World Report ranks Regent U. in the fourth which is the bottom tier. Apparently the only legal training that the Ashcroft/Gonzales Justice Dept. required was a working knowledge of the Ten Commandments.
In any event, Ms. Monica has resigned from Justice and exercised her right to avoid self-incrimination under the Fifth Amendment. Who says these kids don't know the law?
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Item
After 20 plus years of hand wringing, the Senate has finally produced a bill addressing the issue of illegal immigration. I don't care how you feel about this problem, some praise should attend the document that Senators from both parties cobbled together. Before you trash the work done on this legislation, consider the following:
There are 12 million illegal immigrants in America.
We have no way to arrest and deport them and traffic being what it is, they are not likely to leave voluntarily.
Many illegals provide the workforce that, like it or not, keeps goods and services in America moving.
The vast majority of Latinos come here to work. They are not looking to rape the American economy by mooching free health care and free libraries.
Spanish speaking people will assimilate exactly the way the Irish, Italians and Poles assimilated. Their children will learn English (just like the Irish had to), because the American Dream that prompted them to risk their lives getting here doesn't come with Spanish subtitles.
American culture will be changed.
Now, armed with the facts as presented, how about we consider the new legislation as a starting point for a serious debate about the best way to handle a situation that already exists?
We probably can't jail George W. Bush for being the most incompetent leader since Charlie Chaplin's Dictator so I guess we must be content flogging his hirelings. This brings us to the doorstep of one Monica Goodling (great name). Unlike the last Monica, it appears that Ms. Goodling did her "job" standing up.
Monica G. was a top aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and as such is up to her briefcase in the US Attorney firings that have been in the news for the last few months. The rock-turning that uncovered Ms. Goodling also revealed an interesting fact. As of a recent survey by The Boston Globe, the Bush Justice Department had hired a staggering 150 graduates of Regent University Law School, Ms. Goodling among them. If you haven't heard of Regent don't be too surprised. It used to be known as CBN (for Christian Broadcasting Network) School of Law. The school is the incubation chamber for Pat Robertson's own brand of Christian lawyers. Those would be the ones that blame 9-11 on homosexuals... God's wrath, you know! Pat serves as President.
Loyalty to a particular school is charming but, considering the serious nature of the Justice Department's mandate one would hope for scholars from an institution higher in standing than the Acme School of Air Conditioner Repair. US News & World Report ranks Regent U. in the fourth which is the bottom tier. Apparently the only legal training that the Ashcroft/Gonzales Justice Dept. required was a working knowledge of the Ten Commandments.
In any event, Ms. Monica has resigned from Justice and exercised her right to avoid self-incrimination under the Fifth Amendment. Who says these kids don't know the law?
____________________________________________________________________
Item
After 20 plus years of hand wringing, the Senate has finally produced a bill addressing the issue of illegal immigration. I don't care how you feel about this problem, some praise should attend the document that Senators from both parties cobbled together. Before you trash the work done on this legislation, consider the following:
There are 12 million illegal immigrants in America.
We have no way to arrest and deport them and traffic being what it is, they are not likely to leave voluntarily.
Many illegals provide the workforce that, like it or not, keeps goods and services in America moving.
The vast majority of Latinos come here to work. They are not looking to rape the American economy by mooching free health care and free libraries.
Spanish speaking people will assimilate exactly the way the Irish, Italians and Poles assimilated. Their children will learn English (just like the Irish had to), because the American Dream that prompted them to risk their lives getting here doesn't come with Spanish subtitles.
American culture will be changed.
Now, armed with the facts as presented, how about we consider the new legislation as a starting point for a serious debate about the best way to handle a situation that already exists?
Friday, May 18, 2007
...or is a news roundup always a good idea?
Blogging a dead horse
Item
Paul Wolfowitz, the man that orchestrated the symphony that is the Iraq War, has been forced out of the presidency of the World Bank. Thank you, Jesus!
Do any of us care about the World Bank or who runs it? Of course not. What we care about is that a Bush appointee, fresh from miring America in a war we can't win, has been tossed out of a job on the world stage. Why? For slipping his honey the money. Delicious!
The L'affaire Wolfie is a microcosm of the Bush Administration's entire approach to foreign policy. Simply stated it goes like this..."We are America. We are always right. We are a super power and you're not. We will tell you what's good for you. Europe is full of a bunch of socialist, pseudo-aristocrats with no convictions and no balls."
It will take years to fix this mess. I hope we don't need the Europeans for anything important any time soon.
By the way, let's see how long Paul W. can hold on to his squeeze now that he's no longer the paymaster at the World Bank. Hey Paul, think e-harmony. Just don't tell them that you look like your face is melting.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
And speaking of holding on, Alberto Gonzales is about to join Mr. Wolfowitz on the unemployment line. You may remember Alberto for his efforts to include water-boarding as a spectator sport in Abu Ghraib Olympics.
It seems that Alberto's primary role as Attorney General for the Bush Cartel was to rubber stamp the firing of US Attorneys who weren't dancing to Karl Rove's tune. The logic went...if you're not vigorously prosecuting Democrats you're a slacker. Off with your head!
Once again, does anyone except the fired US Attorneys' mothers, care who serves in the Justice Department? No. What we care about is that yet another of the Bush team that duped America into war is headed for the stocks.
As for the other "warriors" in the Bush Circle, it appears likely that most of the villains in this piece will be allowed to sneak away before a case can be made against them. Rove's erased emails will keep him from the jailhouse door for the moment. Until we pass a law making arrogance and gross incompetence in office a felony, Rumsfeld will also escape the justice he so richly deserves. Cheney may yet see a courtroom. Valerie Plame has filed a civil suit over her outing as a CIA operative. This is coming to be known as, "OJ Justice".
George W. Bush, legally incapable of forming the intent to commit a crime, will hopefully spend the next 19 months having his picture taken with Tony Blair. His punishment will be writ large in the history books.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
A group of statisticians has determined that black players in the NBA are more likely to be called for a foul than white players when the official is white. What?
Who do we think imagined that this tragedy of social injustice needed investigation? Do Latin players suffer at the hands of white umpires? Where are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson when we really need them? (I take that back. We never really need them.)
White NBA players must have been delighted to learn that, should they ever actually get into a game, the zebras will be pulling for them. No wonder Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki have been league MVP's for the last three years. The guys in the striped shirts are helping them run downhill. I understand that the officials in the NFL are having a more difficult time helping white football players. Must be the helmets.
____________________________________________________________________
Ongoing Item
We are approaching four months and, wonder of wonders, Rev. Ted Haggard hasn't fallen off the gay wagon. It has been reported that most of his homosexual habits have been held at bay. He is no longer lobbying his local church to institute a "prayer brunch". He has discarded almost all of his spandex vestments. He has cancelled his subscription to Loins magazine. He still apparently listens to Streisand but only the soundtrack of Yentil.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
The Commonwealth of Virginia is incensed that New York's Mayor Michael Bloomberg is running sting operations in Virginia to prove how easy it is to buy a gun in Virginia in spite of state and federal rules. Virginia is blustering to hide its embarrassment over the fact that guns are easier to buy than a pack of cigarettes.
I have an idea. Every time a gun shop owner sells a handgun in violation of the law, the purchaser can shot the vendor in the foot. I'll bet sellers would be a lot more careful if there was a chance that they might be the beneficiary of their malfeasance. OK so I can dream, can't I?
Item
Paul Wolfowitz, the man that orchestrated the symphony that is the Iraq War, has been forced out of the presidency of the World Bank. Thank you, Jesus!
Do any of us care about the World Bank or who runs it? Of course not. What we care about is that a Bush appointee, fresh from miring America in a war we can't win, has been tossed out of a job on the world stage. Why? For slipping his honey the money. Delicious!
The L'affaire Wolfie is a microcosm of the Bush Administration's entire approach to foreign policy. Simply stated it goes like this..."We are America. We are always right. We are a super power and you're not. We will tell you what's good for you. Europe is full of a bunch of socialist, pseudo-aristocrats with no convictions and no balls."
It will take years to fix this mess. I hope we don't need the Europeans for anything important any time soon.
By the way, let's see how long Paul W. can hold on to his squeeze now that he's no longer the paymaster at the World Bank. Hey Paul, think e-harmony. Just don't tell them that you look like your face is melting.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
And speaking of holding on, Alberto Gonzales is about to join Mr. Wolfowitz on the unemployment line. You may remember Alberto for his efforts to include water-boarding as a spectator sport in Abu Ghraib Olympics.
It seems that Alberto's primary role as Attorney General for the Bush Cartel was to rubber stamp the firing of US Attorneys who weren't dancing to Karl Rove's tune. The logic went...if you're not vigorously prosecuting Democrats you're a slacker. Off with your head!
Once again, does anyone except the fired US Attorneys' mothers, care who serves in the Justice Department? No. What we care about is that yet another of the Bush team that duped America into war is headed for the stocks.
As for the other "warriors" in the Bush Circle, it appears likely that most of the villains in this piece will be allowed to sneak away before a case can be made against them. Rove's erased emails will keep him from the jailhouse door for the moment. Until we pass a law making arrogance and gross incompetence in office a felony, Rumsfeld will also escape the justice he so richly deserves. Cheney may yet see a courtroom. Valerie Plame has filed a civil suit over her outing as a CIA operative. This is coming to be known as, "OJ Justice".
George W. Bush, legally incapable of forming the intent to commit a crime, will hopefully spend the next 19 months having his picture taken with Tony Blair. His punishment will be writ large in the history books.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
A group of statisticians has determined that black players in the NBA are more likely to be called for a foul than white players when the official is white. What?
Who do we think imagined that this tragedy of social injustice needed investigation? Do Latin players suffer at the hands of white umpires? Where are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson when we really need them? (I take that back. We never really need them.)
White NBA players must have been delighted to learn that, should they ever actually get into a game, the zebras will be pulling for them. No wonder Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki have been league MVP's for the last three years. The guys in the striped shirts are helping them run downhill. I understand that the officials in the NFL are having a more difficult time helping white football players. Must be the helmets.
____________________________________________________________________
Ongoing Item
We are approaching four months and, wonder of wonders, Rev. Ted Haggard hasn't fallen off the gay wagon. It has been reported that most of his homosexual habits have been held at bay. He is no longer lobbying his local church to institute a "prayer brunch". He has discarded almost all of his spandex vestments. He has cancelled his subscription to Loins magazine. He still apparently listens to Streisand but only the soundtrack of Yentil.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
The Commonwealth of Virginia is incensed that New York's Mayor Michael Bloomberg is running sting operations in Virginia to prove how easy it is to buy a gun in Virginia in spite of state and federal rules. Virginia is blustering to hide its embarrassment over the fact that guns are easier to buy than a pack of cigarettes.
I have an idea. Every time a gun shop owner sells a handgun in violation of the law, the purchaser can shot the vendor in the foot. I'll bet sellers would be a lot more careful if there was a chance that they might be the beneficiary of their malfeasance. OK so I can dream, can't I?
Thursday, May 17, 2007
...or is giving a gun to everyone a really bad idea?
I was born in the wrong country.
While the other kids were watching The Man From U.N.C.L.E., I was tuning in to The Saint. America was all about I Spy but I was all about The Prisoner. OK, so everybody got James Bond but I got Harry Palmer. Cowboys like Jim West were much more appealing to me than the shoot first and ask questions later types.
As a result of this obviously twisted upbringing, you can imagine my reaction to the suggestion from some Virginia legislators, that all Virginia college students over the age of 21 be allowed to "carry concealed". Holy body bags, Batman! What kind of nutjob thinks this is a good idea? One such person is David Briggman. As a former police officer you would think that he would be familiar with the harm that guns can do and therefore welcome any restriction. You would be wrong.
Mr. Briggman is one of those folks that thinks if all of the Virginia Tech students were packing on April 16th, Seung-Hui Cho, America's newest three-name killer, would not have been able to murder 32 of his fellow students and wound 25 more. What an interesting theory!
For as horrific as the shootings in Blacksburg were, it's hard to imagine that the situation could have been improved if there were a real western-style gun battle. Imagine the collateral damage from that scenario. Five or six students firing back might have saved lives or they might have killed another half dozen by mistake. How would we treat those who shot students in the panic? Sounds like a great plot line for Law and Order.
How did we get to the point where a portion of our population feels that the solution to violence is more violence? You can't blame TV. The Canadians and most of Europe watch our shows and they are not running around armed to the teeth. There's something in our DNA that makes us believe that gunfire is the best way to settle an argument. Let's call it the JW (for John Wayne) chromosome.
It could be that our civilization is still very young. For the first 900 years of their existence as a country, the Brits solved every problem the same way...they declared war on France. Ditto for the French. From Hastings to Waterloo the English never met a Frenchman that wouldn't look better draped across his shield. By that reckoning, we still have another 700 or so years of madness ahead of us. Check, please!
Americans apparently feel helpless in the face of violent crime and the only logical response (if you can call it logical) is to fight fire with firearms. The fallacy of this argument is that most Americans couldn't shoot another person even if they thought the killing justified. If you think it's easy to shoot a person, ask a cop that has had to fire his/her weapon in the line of duty. If they tell you it was no problem, they're lying.
Europeans have apparently either had their JW chromosome removed or they have evolved to the point that, like prehensile tails, the gene went dormant and fell off. Unfortunately, so many Americans don't believe in evolution that surgery may be the only answer.
In the meantime, I need to weigh the pros and cons of moving to the UK.
Good things: beer, men's fashion, pubs (see also beer), accent.
Bad things : weather, cost, driving on the wrong side, women's fashion, dentistry.
I would have included Benny Hill on the good side but I understand he's dead. Gee, I hope some American didn't shoot him.
While the other kids were watching The Man From U.N.C.L.E., I was tuning in to The Saint. America was all about I Spy but I was all about The Prisoner. OK, so everybody got James Bond but I got Harry Palmer. Cowboys like Jim West were much more appealing to me than the shoot first and ask questions later types.
As a result of this obviously twisted upbringing, you can imagine my reaction to the suggestion from some Virginia legislators, that all Virginia college students over the age of 21 be allowed to "carry concealed". Holy body bags, Batman! What kind of nutjob thinks this is a good idea? One such person is David Briggman. As a former police officer you would think that he would be familiar with the harm that guns can do and therefore welcome any restriction. You would be wrong.
Mr. Briggman is one of those folks that thinks if all of the Virginia Tech students were packing on April 16th, Seung-Hui Cho, America's newest three-name killer, would not have been able to murder 32 of his fellow students and wound 25 more. What an interesting theory!
For as horrific as the shootings in Blacksburg were, it's hard to imagine that the situation could have been improved if there were a real western-style gun battle. Imagine the collateral damage from that scenario. Five or six students firing back might have saved lives or they might have killed another half dozen by mistake. How would we treat those who shot students in the panic? Sounds like a great plot line for Law and Order.
How did we get to the point where a portion of our population feels that the solution to violence is more violence? You can't blame TV. The Canadians and most of Europe watch our shows and they are not running around armed to the teeth. There's something in our DNA that makes us believe that gunfire is the best way to settle an argument. Let's call it the JW (for John Wayne) chromosome.
It could be that our civilization is still very young. For the first 900 years of their existence as a country, the Brits solved every problem the same way...they declared war on France. Ditto for the French. From Hastings to Waterloo the English never met a Frenchman that wouldn't look better draped across his shield. By that reckoning, we still have another 700 or so years of madness ahead of us. Check, please!
Americans apparently feel helpless in the face of violent crime and the only logical response (if you can call it logical) is to fight fire with firearms. The fallacy of this argument is that most Americans couldn't shoot another person even if they thought the killing justified. If you think it's easy to shoot a person, ask a cop that has had to fire his/her weapon in the line of duty. If they tell you it was no problem, they're lying.
Europeans have apparently either had their JW chromosome removed or they have evolved to the point that, like prehensile tails, the gene went dormant and fell off. Unfortunately, so many Americans don't believe in evolution that surgery may be the only answer.
In the meantime, I need to weigh the pros and cons of moving to the UK.
Good things: beer, men's fashion, pubs (see also beer), accent.
Bad things : weather, cost, driving on the wrong side, women's fashion, dentistry.
I would have included Benny Hill on the good side but I understand he's dead. Gee, I hope some American didn't shoot him.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
...has America learned nothing from 2000 & 2004?
My fellow Americans, I have asked you here today to discuss an issue that should be of paramount importance to the entire country. It would appear that, in spite of eight years of the most corrupt, inept, ham-handed, cynical government since Tricky Dick, nothing has changed. At a time when even Kansas is looking for candidates that stand for something...anything, the political podium is still populated with wannabes pandering to what is dumbest and most derisive in America.
As exhibit "A" please direct your attention to the ten geniuses running for the Republican nomination for president. During the first debate, held under the wing of a mothballed Air Force One, the "Gang of Ten" was asked how many of them believed in evolution. No foolin'! That's like asking how many believe that the theory of aerodynamics allows planes to fly. This was a chance for ten, presumably educated men, to join the entire scientific community and every American with an IQ of two digits, to proclaim that, faith aside, evolution was an established, scientific fact.
Well America, I hope you're happy with 70% because three of your presidential hopefuls reject what every scientist, including the Professor on Gilligan's Island, knows to be true. For those keeping score, this particular hall of shame includes Tom Tancredo, Sam Brownback (from Kansas. What a surprise!) and the Rev. Mike Huckabee. Thankfully, no follow-up questions were asked regarding the spherical nature of the Earth or the color of the dairy product that constitutes the composition of the Moon.
Now, you and I both know that every red-voting, Iraq-supporting, gun-loving, Jesus-hugging member of the "Republican Ten" has accepted evolution as a certainty. Several of them have had to make some sort of accommodation with their religious beliefs but it is impossible for anyone who has read anything more technical that "The Pet Goat" to reject evolution as anything but settled science. Gentlemen please, if you feel the urge to have your Christian right credentials stamped in public, stay with abortion and gay rights. At least that brands you as nothing more than a garden-variety cretin. Try not to add "Luddite" to your curriculum vitae.
I believe that the vast majority of voting America, if they watch these debates at all, wants to see a little backbone. So far, with a few exceptions, all of these candidates are leaning so far to the right that the Republican ship is listing to starboard (more, even, than usual). It took Rudi "the cross-dressing mayor" Giuliani to admit that he is in favor of a women's right to choose and even then he promised to appoint conservative judges who would, presumably, overturn Roe.
John McCain, who actually had some integrity in 2000, can't bring himself to state that the Bush administration has made a complete hash out of Iraq. He wrings his hands over "mistakes" and "missteps" without ever speaking the obvious... that no self-respecting soldier or general would follow George W. Bush into a men's room let alone into combat. I guess that McCain learned that principles, especially controversial ones, won't get you the nomination. Wrong!
McCain wasn't beaten in 2000 because he had core beliefs that differed from the Republican mainstream. He lost because he had beliefs at all. The "Party" (read Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Wolfowicz, et al) wanted a lite-weight puff ball with an identifiable name and as little upstairs as possible. Hello George! If the Republicans could have found a dim bulb named Reagan, GWB would be clearing brush in Crawford for a living as we speak.
Just for the record, Hillary Clinton is doing the same dance on the Democratic stage. It seems that she is in favor of the war but, if she knew then what she knows now, she wouldn't have voted for it. Well, that settles that. I assume that that theory also applies to her marriage. (Sorry!)
Sadly, I suspect that none of the Republican Presidential hopefuls are reading my pearls of wisdom. If however, six degrees of separation brings any of my thoughts to the attention of any candidate, I'm begging you, Stand for Something. Take a position. Dare to be different. Even if you don't get to be President, you'll sleep better...unless, of course the theory of gravity is just a theory, in which case you'll just float around all night.
As exhibit "A" please direct your attention to the ten geniuses running for the Republican nomination for president. During the first debate, held under the wing of a mothballed Air Force One, the "Gang of Ten" was asked how many of them believed in evolution. No foolin'! That's like asking how many believe that the theory of aerodynamics allows planes to fly. This was a chance for ten, presumably educated men, to join the entire scientific community and every American with an IQ of two digits, to proclaim that, faith aside, evolution was an established, scientific fact.
Well America, I hope you're happy with 70% because three of your presidential hopefuls reject what every scientist, including the Professor on Gilligan's Island, knows to be true. For those keeping score, this particular hall of shame includes Tom Tancredo, Sam Brownback (from Kansas. What a surprise!) and the Rev. Mike Huckabee. Thankfully, no follow-up questions were asked regarding the spherical nature of the Earth or the color of the dairy product that constitutes the composition of the Moon.
Now, you and I both know that every red-voting, Iraq-supporting, gun-loving, Jesus-hugging member of the "Republican Ten" has accepted evolution as a certainty. Several of them have had to make some sort of accommodation with their religious beliefs but it is impossible for anyone who has read anything more technical that "The Pet Goat" to reject evolution as anything but settled science. Gentlemen please, if you feel the urge to have your Christian right credentials stamped in public, stay with abortion and gay rights. At least that brands you as nothing more than a garden-variety cretin. Try not to add "Luddite" to your curriculum vitae.
I believe that the vast majority of voting America, if they watch these debates at all, wants to see a little backbone. So far, with a few exceptions, all of these candidates are leaning so far to the right that the Republican ship is listing to starboard (more, even, than usual). It took Rudi "the cross-dressing mayor" Giuliani to admit that he is in favor of a women's right to choose and even then he promised to appoint conservative judges who would, presumably, overturn Roe.
John McCain, who actually had some integrity in 2000, can't bring himself to state that the Bush administration has made a complete hash out of Iraq. He wrings his hands over "mistakes" and "missteps" without ever speaking the obvious... that no self-respecting soldier or general would follow George W. Bush into a men's room let alone into combat. I guess that McCain learned that principles, especially controversial ones, won't get you the nomination. Wrong!
McCain wasn't beaten in 2000 because he had core beliefs that differed from the Republican mainstream. He lost because he had beliefs at all. The "Party" (read Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Wolfowicz, et al) wanted a lite-weight puff ball with an identifiable name and as little upstairs as possible. Hello George! If the Republicans could have found a dim bulb named Reagan, GWB would be clearing brush in Crawford for a living as we speak.
Just for the record, Hillary Clinton is doing the same dance on the Democratic stage. It seems that she is in favor of the war but, if she knew then what she knows now, she wouldn't have voted for it. Well, that settles that. I assume that that theory also applies to her marriage. (Sorry!)
Sadly, I suspect that none of the Republican Presidential hopefuls are reading my pearls of wisdom. If however, six degrees of separation brings any of my thoughts to the attention of any candidate, I'm begging you, Stand for Something. Take a position. Dare to be different. Even if you don't get to be President, you'll sleep better...unless, of course the theory of gravity is just a theory, in which case you'll just float around all night.
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