Item
Troubles continue to mount for poor Michael Steele. No sooner does he bow and scrape his way out of trouble with the all-powerful King Rush, now he is desperately attempting to explain his way out of the greatest Republican sin of all, the capacity to think for himself. In the words of that great American, Frank Burns, "Individually is fine, so long as we all do it together".
In an interview for GQ (not normally the pinnacle of Republican orthodoxy) Mr. Steele allowed that homosexuality is not a matter of choice and abortion is. Holy platform, Batman! It isn't bad enough that the head of the RNC doesn't look like everybody in the Republican party, he doesn't think like them either.
This situation has put the leaders of the GOP in a terrible spot. If they jettison Michael Steele, the closest thing the Republicans will have to a black member will be Bobby Jindal and John Boehner. (Boehner appears to have purchased all the skin pigmentation that Michael Jackson wasn't using.) Besides, candidates willing to swim toward the sinking Republican ship aren't exactly lining up around the block. It would be easier to hire a food taster for Rush Limbaugh.
WANTED: FOOD TASTER FOR RUSH LIMBAUGH Must be courageous and really quick with a fork.
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Item
Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa, ever anxious to prove that Mid-Westerners aren't just about American ideals, has suggested a Japanese solution to the problem of AIG and their bonuses. The Senator proposes that the offending executives: 1) apologize to America (he was unclear as to whether they should apologize for taking the money or running the American economy off a cliff) and 2) killing themselves. Resignation was proposed as an option to suicide but discounted as less desirable for TV ratings. This statement was met with outrage by the Japanese who understand that seppuku is an honorable death and therefore totally unsuitable for any American executive.
The Democrats have promised a vigorous challenge for Sen. Grassley's Senate seat in 2010. Doctor Jack Kevorkian is considered an early frontrunner.
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Item
Meanwhile, back in Iowa...the State Department of Naming Stuff has decided to rename the Department of Elder Affairs (presumably to alleviate confusion regarding geriatric love trysts) to the Department of Aging. Senior citizens were predictably outraged that the new acronym for their primary government agency was DOA.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
...or should we pray for Catholic Church 2.0?
Item
Pope Benedict XVI has been expressing concern at the level of abuse he's received over the attempted reconciliation between the RCC and the Pius X Society, represented by the always lively Bishop Richard Williamson. His Holiness swears he was totally unaware of Bishop Williamson's rather novel view on world history circa 1936 through 1945. Williamson's take on the Holocaust is "much to-do about not much".Critics of the Church are incredulous that the Holy See was oblivious to the opinions of Bishop Williamson. Rome was advised that a simple Google search would have produced all the necessary information.
Tragically, the Vicar of Christ appears technologically challenged. Ask him anything about the teaching in the Baltimore Catechism and he can recite for hours. On the subject of obscure ecclesiastic texts, he'll bring tears to your eyes. However, put him in front of a computer and he can't tell a mouse pad from a patten. He believes that a cursor should clean up his language and go to confession(rim shot!). The rest of the Vatican isn't much better. It took the entire Roman Curia two days to replace the toner in the only printer in St. Peters.
Clearly the Church is due for an IT upgrade. Some suggestions for improving the technology of Catholicism include: online confession with written penances (see how you like typing out the Our Father ten times); mite boxes that can be filled by paypal; a photoshop app that puts ashes on your facebook photo. The possibilities are endless. Papal elections can be held without flying all those elderly Cardinals to Rome. Just have them log in to a secure web site, similar to the way they vote on American Idol. Sadly, some legacy issues will remain. Someone will still have to send up the black and white smoke. The Church might also consider virtual pilgrimages. With just a few chicks of a mouse you too could be on your knees at Fatima or Lourdes and get started on a cure for what ails you.
Regardless of how the Holy See chooses to update the technology, we shouldn't be looking for a online dating service for priests any time soon.
Item
In other ecclesiastic news, the Catholic Church has reinvigorated the concept of indulgences. For those of you raised in religions other than the RCC, an indulgence is a partial or complete reduction of your time in purgatory. To attempt a more detailed explanation would be pointless. If you need more info, search Google.
The only thing you really need to know about indulgences is that the concept of selling them to rich and powerful Catholics (a common practice in Medieval times) caused Martin Luther to decorate the Cathedral in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517.
How Catholics get to heaven is of no particular interest to the other 75% of America who listen to voices other than Benedict XVI. What is interesting is the bigger picture, namely the seemingly perverse desire on the part of the Catholic Church to make headlines. Seriously, when was the last time you read a newspaper story about Methodists or Lutherans? Aside from the recent controversy on gay bishops affecting Presbyterians and the recent flap over Mormon crickets, no other Christian group appears interested in stories above the fold. Whether it's denying Communion to proponents of abortion or prohibiting gays from meeting in Church halls, the Catholics are media crazy. Each time the Pope steps in front of a microphone or picks up a pen, someone is getting their theological knickers in a wad. Who's doing PR at the Vatican, Amy Winehouse? It's religion, not Praying With The Stars.
Late breaking news. Live from Yaounde, Cameroon...the Pope has explained to sub-Sahara Africa, home to 22 million HIV infected people, that condoms are not the answer. Quod erat demonstrandum.
___________________________________________________________________
Pope Benedict XVI has been expressing concern at the level of abuse he's received over the attempted reconciliation between the RCC and the Pius X Society, represented by the always lively Bishop Richard Williamson. His Holiness swears he was totally unaware of Bishop Williamson's rather novel view on world history circa 1936 through 1945. Williamson's take on the Holocaust is "much to-do about not much".Critics of the Church are incredulous that the Holy See was oblivious to the opinions of Bishop Williamson. Rome was advised that a simple Google search would have produced all the necessary information.
Tragically, the Vicar of Christ appears technologically challenged. Ask him anything about the teaching in the Baltimore Catechism and he can recite for hours. On the subject of obscure ecclesiastic texts, he'll bring tears to your eyes. However, put him in front of a computer and he can't tell a mouse pad from a patten. He believes that a cursor should clean up his language and go to confession(rim shot!). The rest of the Vatican isn't much better. It took the entire Roman Curia two days to replace the toner in the only printer in St. Peters.
Clearly the Church is due for an IT upgrade. Some suggestions for improving the technology of Catholicism include: online confession with written penances (see how you like typing out the Our Father ten times); mite boxes that can be filled by paypal; a photoshop app that puts ashes on your facebook photo. The possibilities are endless. Papal elections can be held without flying all those elderly Cardinals to Rome. Just have them log in to a secure web site, similar to the way they vote on American Idol. Sadly, some legacy issues will remain. Someone will still have to send up the black and white smoke. The Church might also consider virtual pilgrimages. With just a few chicks of a mouse you too could be on your knees at Fatima or Lourdes and get started on a cure for what ails you.
Regardless of how the Holy See chooses to update the technology, we shouldn't be looking for a online dating service for priests any time soon.
Item
In other ecclesiastic news, the Catholic Church has reinvigorated the concept of indulgences. For those of you raised in religions other than the RCC, an indulgence is a partial or complete reduction of your time in purgatory. To attempt a more detailed explanation would be pointless. If you need more info, search Google.
The only thing you really need to know about indulgences is that the concept of selling them to rich and powerful Catholics (a common practice in Medieval times) caused Martin Luther to decorate the Cathedral in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517.
How Catholics get to heaven is of no particular interest to the other 75% of America who listen to voices other than Benedict XVI. What is interesting is the bigger picture, namely the seemingly perverse desire on the part of the Catholic Church to make headlines. Seriously, when was the last time you read a newspaper story about Methodists or Lutherans? Aside from the recent controversy on gay bishops affecting Presbyterians and the recent flap over Mormon crickets, no other Christian group appears interested in stories above the fold. Whether it's denying Communion to proponents of abortion or prohibiting gays from meeting in Church halls, the Catholics are media crazy. Each time the Pope steps in front of a microphone or picks up a pen, someone is getting their theological knickers in a wad. Who's doing PR at the Vatican, Amy Winehouse? It's religion, not Praying With The Stars.
Late breaking news. Live from Yaounde, Cameroon...the Pope has explained to sub-Sahara Africa, home to 22 million HIV infected people, that condoms are not the answer. Quod erat demonstrandum.
___________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
...or is the Republican party completely incapable of tearing a hole in the Limbaugh airbag?
When Newt Gingrich is the voice of reason in your political party, you have a problem. When a recent straw poll among Republicans lists Ron Paul and Sarah Palin among the top four choices as Presidential candidate in 2010, you have troubles. When Michael Steele, the man elected to run the Republican National Committee, is too spineless to engage a whoopee cushion like R. Limbaugh, you need a new plan...and a new RNC Chairman. In other words, the GOP has decided to ignore the time-tested axiom: when you're already in a hole, stop digging.
The Republicans are sinking into irrelevancy and Admiral Limbaugh is throwing them a daily supply of anvils. Astronomers at NASA are wagering as to whether Rush's ego or his belt size will be first to reach planetary proportions. The joy of Limbaugh is he thinks he's helping. Meanwhile, any Republican with an IQ in three digits is scurrying to re-brand himself as a libertarian. Can the rebirth of the Whigs be far behind?
Like the Democrats after Jimmy Carter, the current minority party has been left without an issue. Attacking Barak Obama is hopeless. He is wildly popular and endlessly charismatic. The country sees him doing everything possible to right the economic ship. At least he's trying. The Republicans who oppose his efforts appear petty and small. To vote for Presidential failure borders on treason. Opponents such as Grandpa McCain and Mitch McConnell complain about deficits yet preach tax cuts. Even tax-averse Americans are confused by this logic. John (How do you get your skin that color?) Boehner of Ohio, is hard-pressed to explain to unemployed citizens of his state why stimulus is such a bad idea. A little government pork would be a welcome relief to families living on Raman noodles.
No one really knows if the steps taken by the current administration will improve our economy or make things worse. What we do know is that America elected Barak Obama to try and make things better; or at least less bad. In the meantime, we can all share a chuckle as the Republicans try to slow the Obama juggernaut long enough to create a few resonant sound bites. Just as the GOP was labeling the STIM as out-of- control spending, Obama was on to the budget. As the Republicans sputtered to call the budget "earmark central", Barak was pitching healthcare. By the way, is anyone else worried that John McCain will give himself a seizure pounding the podium in opposition to earmark spending? Especially now that his wife isn't standing behind him with the glycerin pills. The administration is moving so fast that the Republicans didn't even stop to criticize Obama's Iraq strategy. By the time McConnell or Boehner gets to the lectern to decry something proposed by the administration, two new initiatives are making headlines. It's like watching a hitter trying to catch up to a fast ball.
As for Mr. Limbaugh, you have to admit, for a blimp he's pretty agile. He rarely attacks his critics directly, except for the pitiful Mr. Steele who is clearly fighting out of his weight class. Limbaugh professes to be about ideology not politics. That's like being interested in bracketology but not basketball. This guy is Billy Sunday, Carrie Nation and Huey Long all rolled into one (with room left over for Elmer Gantry). He professes to speak to "the people", Sarah Palin's Real Americans. In truth he preaches only to the converted. His audience is old, white and angry.
Oddly, they are the very tax paying citizens who will benefit first from "socialist" programs like social security, medicare, medicaid, prescription drug benefits and Obama's healthcare. They profess a belief in the market economy but curse the company that closes a plant in their town to save jobs elsewhere. They bemoan the loss of American ideals but reject the fundamental ideal of the melting pot. They lament prayer in schools but are suspicious of a mosque in their town. Things seemed simpler when Eisenhower or Reagan was in office. I suspect that Americans living through the turbulent days of Lyndon Johnson longed for the calmer times of Herbert Hoover or Cal Coolidge.
We live in scary times and people have a right to be apprehensive. Crumbling financial institutions and mounting foreclosures fill the broadcast media and whatever newspapers are left. People feel powerless and victimized. Tragically, this is fertile ground for the Limbaughs, Hannitys and Becks. Safe behind a microphone, they provide simple answers that are little more than bromides. According to them, all would be well if only: all illegal aliens went home, all Muslims/Arabs embarked for west Asia, black people stopped crying about their rights and went back to mopping the floor, consumers ignored quality issues and bought American, we prayed in school and displayed the Ten Commandments in courthouses, and mostly, we returned to the Christian fundamentals upon which this Country was founded.
Well guess what? We aren't going back. This 2009 not 1955. The way out is the way forward. Nostalgia is charming in film but it sucks as a national strategy. America, if you must listen to Limbaugh & Co., please do so with the same eyes as you would Happy Days and American Graffiti. Imagine Garrison Keiller, only with horns and a tail.
The Republicans are sinking into irrelevancy and Admiral Limbaugh is throwing them a daily supply of anvils. Astronomers at NASA are wagering as to whether Rush's ego or his belt size will be first to reach planetary proportions. The joy of Limbaugh is he thinks he's helping. Meanwhile, any Republican with an IQ in three digits is scurrying to re-brand himself as a libertarian. Can the rebirth of the Whigs be far behind?
Like the Democrats after Jimmy Carter, the current minority party has been left without an issue. Attacking Barak Obama is hopeless. He is wildly popular and endlessly charismatic. The country sees him doing everything possible to right the economic ship. At least he's trying. The Republicans who oppose his efforts appear petty and small. To vote for Presidential failure borders on treason. Opponents such as Grandpa McCain and Mitch McConnell complain about deficits yet preach tax cuts. Even tax-averse Americans are confused by this logic. John (How do you get your skin that color?) Boehner of Ohio, is hard-pressed to explain to unemployed citizens of his state why stimulus is such a bad idea. A little government pork would be a welcome relief to families living on Raman noodles.
No one really knows if the steps taken by the current administration will improve our economy or make things worse. What we do know is that America elected Barak Obama to try and make things better; or at least less bad. In the meantime, we can all share a chuckle as the Republicans try to slow the Obama juggernaut long enough to create a few resonant sound bites. Just as the GOP was labeling the STIM as out-of- control spending, Obama was on to the budget. As the Republicans sputtered to call the budget "earmark central", Barak was pitching healthcare. By the way, is anyone else worried that John McCain will give himself a seizure pounding the podium in opposition to earmark spending? Especially now that his wife isn't standing behind him with the glycerin pills. The administration is moving so fast that the Republicans didn't even stop to criticize Obama's Iraq strategy. By the time McConnell or Boehner gets to the lectern to decry something proposed by the administration, two new initiatives are making headlines. It's like watching a hitter trying to catch up to a fast ball.
As for Mr. Limbaugh, you have to admit, for a blimp he's pretty agile. He rarely attacks his critics directly, except for the pitiful Mr. Steele who is clearly fighting out of his weight class. Limbaugh professes to be about ideology not politics. That's like being interested in bracketology but not basketball. This guy is Billy Sunday, Carrie Nation and Huey Long all rolled into one (with room left over for Elmer Gantry). He professes to speak to "the people", Sarah Palin's Real Americans. In truth he preaches only to the converted. His audience is old, white and angry.
Oddly, they are the very tax paying citizens who will benefit first from "socialist" programs like social security, medicare, medicaid, prescription drug benefits and Obama's healthcare. They profess a belief in the market economy but curse the company that closes a plant in their town to save jobs elsewhere. They bemoan the loss of American ideals but reject the fundamental ideal of the melting pot. They lament prayer in schools but are suspicious of a mosque in their town. Things seemed simpler when Eisenhower or Reagan was in office. I suspect that Americans living through the turbulent days of Lyndon Johnson longed for the calmer times of Herbert Hoover or Cal Coolidge.
We live in scary times and people have a right to be apprehensive. Crumbling financial institutions and mounting foreclosures fill the broadcast media and whatever newspapers are left. People feel powerless and victimized. Tragically, this is fertile ground for the Limbaughs, Hannitys and Becks. Safe behind a microphone, they provide simple answers that are little more than bromides. According to them, all would be well if only: all illegal aliens went home, all Muslims/Arabs embarked for west Asia, black people stopped crying about their rights and went back to mopping the floor, consumers ignored quality issues and bought American, we prayed in school and displayed the Ten Commandments in courthouses, and mostly, we returned to the Christian fundamentals upon which this Country was founded.
Well guess what? We aren't going back. This 2009 not 1955. The way out is the way forward. Nostalgia is charming in film but it sucks as a national strategy. America, if you must listen to Limbaugh & Co., please do so with the same eyes as you would Happy Days and American Graffiti. Imagine Garrison Keiller, only with horns and a tail.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
...or does Bobby Jindal need a trip to Communispond?
Rule #1 Button your jacket.
Bobby "don't call me Piyush" Jindal, Republican Governor of Louisiana, was accorded the dubious honor last night of following America's rock star President. This was the entertainment equivalent of Joaquin Phoenix following Chris Rock. Immediately after President Obama's tour-de-force presentation in front of a joint session of Congress, Governor Buzzkill was required to explain in ten minutes or less why: a) Obama's way forward is all wet, and b) why obstructing the President at every turn is a formula for success and prosperity. This would have been a tall order for an orator with skills. For Governor Jindal it was a public service announcement after the Super Bowl.
Governor Jindal is a smart guy. Having rejected Yale Law and Harvard Medical, he received a Masters in Political Science from Oxford. Rhodes Scholars rarely find their way into the ranks of Louisiana Politicians. The State that gave America Huey Long, Governor Edwin Edwards (currently a guest of the State) and David Duke former State Representative and grand wizard of the KKK, is justifiably proud when one of their own isn't introduced to America doing the perp walk. Louisiana politicians generally arrive in the national spotlight via either federal custody or pending witness protection.
This Governor is a contradiction at every turn. Having been raised a Hindu, he converted to Catholicism in high school. Thus, he can now eat burgers on six of the seven days of the week. His intelligence makes him stand out among Republicans even more than his complexion. (Standing with the Senate Republican Caucus, they look like the road company of Gunga Din.) He is referred to in political circles as a policy wonk, which apparently means that he actually reads most of the legislation he signs. This trait would have caused considerable snickering in the Bush White House where Cliff Notes were all the rage.
Sending Governor Jindal to rebut the President's plan was almost cruel. Bobby may be many things but a speechafier isn't one. He might as well have been a commentator for Canadian TV. As a rule of thumb, your spokesman's tie shouldn't make a flashier statement than he does. Watching Bobby Jindal attempt a justification for inaction, I was reminded of another Rhodes Scholar turned politician, Bill Bradley. Although a Democrat, Bradley shared many of the same traits evidenced by Governor Jindal. Both are extremely intelligent. (Jindal's light shines brighter amid the dim bulbs of his fellows.) Both had a love for the details of politics and legislation. Sadly, as communicators both men were about as exciting as the robe closet at the Supreme Court.
Because the attention span of the American voter runs to nano-seconds, politicans need to grab and hold their audiences long enough to jam a fact or two in their ears. Bradley, while gifted, was the national cure for insomnia. We wish Governor Jindal better luck. He does have one thing going for him. He has, thus far, never been photographed holding up a number. No mean feat for a son of Louisiana.
Bobby "don't call me Piyush" Jindal, Republican Governor of Louisiana, was accorded the dubious honor last night of following America's rock star President. This was the entertainment equivalent of Joaquin Phoenix following Chris Rock. Immediately after President Obama's tour-de-force presentation in front of a joint session of Congress, Governor Buzzkill was required to explain in ten minutes or less why: a) Obama's way forward is all wet, and b) why obstructing the President at every turn is a formula for success and prosperity. This would have been a tall order for an orator with skills. For Governor Jindal it was a public service announcement after the Super Bowl.
Governor Jindal is a smart guy. Having rejected Yale Law and Harvard Medical, he received a Masters in Political Science from Oxford. Rhodes Scholars rarely find their way into the ranks of Louisiana Politicians. The State that gave America Huey Long, Governor Edwin Edwards (currently a guest of the State) and David Duke former State Representative and grand wizard of the KKK, is justifiably proud when one of their own isn't introduced to America doing the perp walk. Louisiana politicians generally arrive in the national spotlight via either federal custody or pending witness protection.
This Governor is a contradiction at every turn. Having been raised a Hindu, he converted to Catholicism in high school. Thus, he can now eat burgers on six of the seven days of the week. His intelligence makes him stand out among Republicans even more than his complexion. (Standing with the Senate Republican Caucus, they look like the road company of Gunga Din.) He is referred to in political circles as a policy wonk, which apparently means that he actually reads most of the legislation he signs. This trait would have caused considerable snickering in the Bush White House where Cliff Notes were all the rage.
Sending Governor Jindal to rebut the President's plan was almost cruel. Bobby may be many things but a speechafier isn't one. He might as well have been a commentator for Canadian TV. As a rule of thumb, your spokesman's tie shouldn't make a flashier statement than he does. Watching Bobby Jindal attempt a justification for inaction, I was reminded of another Rhodes Scholar turned politician, Bill Bradley. Although a Democrat, Bradley shared many of the same traits evidenced by Governor Jindal. Both are extremely intelligent. (Jindal's light shines brighter amid the dim bulbs of his fellows.) Both had a love for the details of politics and legislation. Sadly, as communicators both men were about as exciting as the robe closet at the Supreme Court.
Because the attention span of the American voter runs to nano-seconds, politicans need to grab and hold their audiences long enough to jam a fact or two in their ears. Bradley, while gifted, was the national cure for insomnia. We wish Governor Jindal better luck. He does have one thing going for him. He has, thus far, never been photographed holding up a number. No mean feat for a son of Louisiana.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
...or is suppressing your gag reflex becoming a full-time job?
Attend the tale of the juvenile justice system in Northeastern Pennsylvania. Imagine that your son or daughter has been arrested and charged with attending a party where underage kids were drinking or, writing their name on a building wall or, defaming the character of a teacher on the internet. You're embarrassed as your repentant offspring is hauled in front of a judge. You're expecting a stern reprimand directed at both your child and most probably, at you. Imagine your surprise when, instead of a tongue-lashing, your child is sentenced to three months in a correctional facility.
Such was the fate of an estimated 5,000 (yes, 5,000!) young people in Luzerne County in Northeastern Pennsylvania. It seems that two judges, Michael Conahan and Mark Ciavarella, Jr cooked up a nifty scheme to not only rid the streets of budding delinquents but make a nice buck in the bargain. Judge Conahan secured a contract with two privately run youth detention centers operated by PA Child Care whereby, in return for a small gratuity, Judge Ciavarella would keep the company's facility stocked with miscreants. The total payoff ran to something north of $2.6 million.
Because judges are among the last remaining absolute monarchs in the world, the plan went unchallenged for eight years. Conahan was president judge in control of the budget and Ciavarella ran the juvenile division. It's a wonder these guys were ever caught. According to their plea agreement, both judges will serve 87 months in prison. (For the mathematically challenged, that's 7 years, 3 months.) And you thought Charles Dickens just made those stories up, didn't you?
Such was the fate of an estimated 5,000 (yes, 5,000!) young people in Luzerne County in Northeastern Pennsylvania. It seems that two judges, Michael Conahan and Mark Ciavarella, Jr cooked up a nifty scheme to not only rid the streets of budding delinquents but make a nice buck in the bargain. Judge Conahan secured a contract with two privately run youth detention centers operated by PA Child Care whereby, in return for a small gratuity, Judge Ciavarella would keep the company's facility stocked with miscreants. The total payoff ran to something north of $2.6 million.
Because judges are among the last remaining absolute monarchs in the world, the plan went unchallenged for eight years. Conahan was president judge in control of the budget and Ciavarella ran the juvenile division. It's a wonder these guys were ever caught. According to their plea agreement, both judges will serve 87 months in prison. (For the mathematically challenged, that's 7 years, 3 months.) And you thought Charles Dickens just made those stories up, didn't you?
Friday, February 13, 2009
or Stupid is as stupid does volume II
Dateline - An undisclosed location
As for the former Vice President, the only word that comes to mind is despicable. What else do you call someone who deliberately encourages America's enemies to attack this country? In case you missed it, Cheney was interviewed after the inauguration and stated flatly that the policies of Barak Obama will almost certainly bring about an attack by our enemies. In other words, if we don't continue to incarcerate people indefinitely without trials, if we don't torture suspected terrorists, if we don't strip American citizens of every conceivable civil right in the search for bad guys, we can expect something to blow up in America very soon. Are you listening, Osama?
This is a first. No ex-President or ex-Vice President in modern times has ever attacked a new administration in such a visceral and mean-spirited manner. Even Nixon kept his trap shut. Not only is it bad form, (like that ever stopped Cheney before) it's reckless. Cheney is an insider. If he asserts that the country is more vulnerable why wouldn't the terrorists take him at his word?
This is not a Republican position, nor does it conform to the standard definition of Conservative. This is a twisted, misguided illusion that safety only possible if Dick Cheney is at the helm. according to his rules it is perfectly permissible to destroy the country in order to save it. This isn't patriotism, it's megalomania. You don't get to wrap yourself in the flag here because nothing is more anti-American than the suspension of Constitutional rights. We allow Nazis to march in the streets because freedom of speech has real meaning in America. We allow guilty criminals to escape justice because laws designed to protect all of us, also protect them. We permit citizens to burn the American flag because , even if we must hold our collective noses, freedom in America has the force of law.
The country that reveres the 400,000 Americans dead in World War II nevertheless shrinks from the idea that more lives might be lost here at home because we are a free society. Rights and freedoms have a price and that price might very well include the additional loss of civilian life in America. Our laws protect us to a point but they also allow freedom to our enemies. I can think of no law or restriction that would have prevented the destruction of the World Trade Center and the notion that George Bush and his Patriot Act has prevented another disaster is wishful thinking. Of course, we should do everything possible, within the framework of the Constitution, to prevent another 9-11, but shredding the body of laws under which we live to achieve a modicum of safety is an unacceptable compromise.
Believe me, you don't want to live in Dick Cheney's America.
As for the former Vice President, the only word that comes to mind is despicable. What else do you call someone who deliberately encourages America's enemies to attack this country? In case you missed it, Cheney was interviewed after the inauguration and stated flatly that the policies of Barak Obama will almost certainly bring about an attack by our enemies. In other words, if we don't continue to incarcerate people indefinitely without trials, if we don't torture suspected terrorists, if we don't strip American citizens of every conceivable civil right in the search for bad guys, we can expect something to blow up in America very soon. Are you listening, Osama?
This is a first. No ex-President or ex-Vice President in modern times has ever attacked a new administration in such a visceral and mean-spirited manner. Even Nixon kept his trap shut. Not only is it bad form, (like that ever stopped Cheney before) it's reckless. Cheney is an insider. If he asserts that the country is more vulnerable why wouldn't the terrorists take him at his word?
This is not a Republican position, nor does it conform to the standard definition of Conservative. This is a twisted, misguided illusion that safety only possible if Dick Cheney is at the helm. according to his rules it is perfectly permissible to destroy the country in order to save it. This isn't patriotism, it's megalomania. You don't get to wrap yourself in the flag here because nothing is more anti-American than the suspension of Constitutional rights. We allow Nazis to march in the streets because freedom of speech has real meaning in America. We allow guilty criminals to escape justice because laws designed to protect all of us, also protect them. We permit citizens to burn the American flag because , even if we must hold our collective noses, freedom in America has the force of law.
The country that reveres the 400,000 Americans dead in World War II nevertheless shrinks from the idea that more lives might be lost here at home because we are a free society. Rights and freedoms have a price and that price might very well include the additional loss of civilian life in America. Our laws protect us to a point but they also allow freedom to our enemies. I can think of no law or restriction that would have prevented the destruction of the World Trade Center and the notion that George Bush and his Patriot Act has prevented another disaster is wishful thinking. Of course, we should do everything possible, within the framework of the Constitution, to prevent another 9-11, but shredding the body of laws under which we live to achieve a modicum of safety is an unacceptable compromise.
Believe me, you don't want to live in Dick Cheney's America.
Friday, February 06, 2009
...or is "Stupid is as stupid does" becoming the new world order?
Maybe it was the tainted peanut butter. Maybe he was just tired of seeing Barak Obama grab all the headlines. There must be some explanation for the actions of Pope Benedict XVI beyond his being a crabby, miserable geriatrics who is drifting into irrelevancy. Whatever the reason, he has proven that no good deed does unpunished.
Dateline: Rome
Having already made every effort to offend the Muslims in 2006, The Vicar of Christ decided to take a page from the George W. Bush Isolationist Handbook and see if he couldn't stir up the Jews. One can imagine the Pope coming down to breakfast and announcing to his staff that he has had a great idea. "Let's reinstate Bishop Richard Williamson and the other three excommunicated dinosaurs who were consecrated by every body's favorite schismatic, Cardinal Marcel Lefebvre. Not only will we win points with the Society of Pius X (more later) but we will aggravate all the Jews and most of the Germans." (Actually the German people are probably sick of wearing a hair shirt over something that happened before most of them were born.)
Always the cut-up, Bishop Williamson repaid the Pope's kindness by proclaiming his assertion that the Holocaust was a radically overstated misunderstanding; actually something of a rounding error in the WWII death toll. According to him, a few Jews were killed (seemingly by accident) but not as part of any state-sponsored genocide. Certainly no gas chambers were used. Boy, wait until Steven Spielberg finds out. This bit of revisionist history has had the effect of making Benedict XVI look like a both a Jew-hater and a bad German, a rare two-fer.
The Vatican's public relations cleanup squad was quick to assert that the Pope was only trying to heal a rift with Cardinal Lefebvre and the Society of Pius X. The Society apparently believes that any attempt at liberalizing the Catholic Church is Godless and just a damn shame. They have exactly zero use for Vatican II and won't be happy until the Church returns to Latin Masses, unpadded kneelers and penances that involve whips with little knots. Think of the Bush administration but with cassocks. The Catholic Church seems to be up to their mitres in societies that favor "that old-time religion". (see also Opus Dei.)
This Papal tap dance may not have soothed the radical right in the Catholic Church but it sure frosted the good feelings with the Jews that Benedict's predecessor had tried to foster. Hopefully the Pope wasn't planning a trip to Jerusalem anytime soon, or to Germany either. People who disavow the Holocaust in der Fatherland end up in jail. Benedict now finds himself with: 1) an angry Germany, 2) angry Jews, 3) angry Church liberals and 4) a still unrepentant, off-the- reservation bishop. Talk about your diplomatic triumph. If Benedict could only find a way to annoy women, he'd have the quinella.
Dateline: Rome
Having already made every effort to offend the Muslims in 2006, The Vicar of Christ decided to take a page from the George W. Bush Isolationist Handbook and see if he couldn't stir up the Jews. One can imagine the Pope coming down to breakfast and announcing to his staff that he has had a great idea. "Let's reinstate Bishop Richard Williamson and the other three excommunicated dinosaurs who were consecrated by every body's favorite schismatic, Cardinal Marcel Lefebvre. Not only will we win points with the Society of Pius X (more later) but we will aggravate all the Jews and most of the Germans." (Actually the German people are probably sick of wearing a hair shirt over something that happened before most of them were born.)
Always the cut-up, Bishop Williamson repaid the Pope's kindness by proclaiming his assertion that the Holocaust was a radically overstated misunderstanding; actually something of a rounding error in the WWII death toll. According to him, a few Jews were killed (seemingly by accident) but not as part of any state-sponsored genocide. Certainly no gas chambers were used. Boy, wait until Steven Spielberg finds out. This bit of revisionist history has had the effect of making Benedict XVI look like a both a Jew-hater and a bad German, a rare two-fer.
The Vatican's public relations cleanup squad was quick to assert that the Pope was only trying to heal a rift with Cardinal Lefebvre and the Society of Pius X. The Society apparently believes that any attempt at liberalizing the Catholic Church is Godless and just a damn shame. They have exactly zero use for Vatican II and won't be happy until the Church returns to Latin Masses, unpadded kneelers and penances that involve whips with little knots. Think of the Bush administration but with cassocks. The Catholic Church seems to be up to their mitres in societies that favor "that old-time religion". (see also Opus Dei.)
This Papal tap dance may not have soothed the radical right in the Catholic Church but it sure frosted the good feelings with the Jews that Benedict's predecessor had tried to foster. Hopefully the Pope wasn't planning a trip to Jerusalem anytime soon, or to Germany either. People who disavow the Holocaust in der Fatherland end up in jail. Benedict now finds himself with: 1) an angry Germany, 2) angry Jews, 3) angry Church liberals and 4) a still unrepentant, off-the- reservation bishop. Talk about your diplomatic triumph. If Benedict could only find a way to annoy women, he'd have the quinella.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
...or did penance used to be only five Our Fathers and five Hail Marys?
Confession may be good for the soul but it's hell on your political career. It doesn't do much for your endorsements, either.
Today's papers are full of contrition. We have:
the almost-but-not-quite Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Daschle;
the lesser known Nancy Killefer who was slated to be the President's Chief Performance Officer, whatever that is; and
the all-American boy turned stoner, Michael "Jeff Spicoli" Phelps.
Daschle first.
There was just no way to fix this. By the time the Obama vetters discovered and corrected Daschle's tax problem, the damage was done. If you're working for someone and he gives you something of value and the company declares it as an expense, that's income to you. Bonuses, trips, lavish gifts, and cars equipped with drivers...all income. When you formerly authored tax policy for America, "I didn't realize..." is not the "A" response. Sadly, in a world where the CEO of Merrill Lynch thinks it's OK, under any condition, to install a $87,000 rug in his office; where car company CEO's fly their corporate jets to Washington to beg for cash; where tone-deafness is so pervasive and entitlement so ingrained that John Edwards imagines that he can run for President and shtupp another woman; no one should be surprised.
The big loser here is America. Tom Daschle had three decades as a Washington insider. If anyone could have forged a universal healthcare package and had it passed, it was he. Senators knew and, for the most part, trusted him. Whoever the administration chooses to replace him will be a step down. This is what happens when you get too close to lobbyists and power brokers. Alfred Hitchcock was once asked if he said that actors were cattle. He replied, "I never said that actors were cattle. I said actors should be treated like cattle." Lobbyists may not be scum but, they should certainly be treated as such.
We never got to know Nancy Killefer. Her affiliation with the consulting giant McKinsey & Co. tells me that, as Chief Performance Officer, she would have been terrific at telling other people what was wrong with them and how "you" should fix it. A good friend tells me that consultants are men who know 500 ways to make love but don't know any women. Whatever Nancy's tax issues are we may never know. However, there may be a power point presentation in our future.
Whether you are in the tank for Obama (and most of us are) or not, you have to be impressed with the grace of the man. First, he takes responsibility; not my staff, not my information gatherers...me. "I screwed up". If Dick Nixon had tried that, he would have completed two terms (but probably no David Frost interview). If GWB had taken the blame for his uncountable mistakes it would have gone on longer than Kate Winslet at an awards show, but he wouldn't be hated as much as he is. No one expects a President to be perfect but we do expect them to be accountable. We expect them to take ownership, fix the problem, learn from it and move on. In President Obama's case, one can imagine him thumb-tapping on his Blackberry "Memo: Christmas presents for cabinet and staff to include Turbo Tax program and a $500 gift certificate to H&R Block."
Michael Phelps is just a kid. Well OK so he's 24. He's still allowed to do stupid things. He's allowed to drive a little too fast, try to unhook his girlfriend's bra in the backseat of his car and experiment with happy smoke at a party. What he is not allowed to do is get caught doing them. In a time of picture phones this might prove difficult; just ask Brittany, Prince Harry and the Oakland Transit Police.
Phelps has used two of his three strikes, having been tagged for DUI in Maryland in 2004. His endorsements are safe for the moment (except for those prudes at Kellogg). Public statements from Speedo, Visa and Omega all say that there are no plans to throw Phelps overboard. After all, who is on the "A" list for Speedo? How about Sully Sullenberger of US Airways fame? He's pretty good in the water.
Today's papers are full of contrition. We have:
the almost-but-not-quite Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Daschle;
the lesser known Nancy Killefer who was slated to be the President's Chief Performance Officer, whatever that is; and
the all-American boy turned stoner, Michael "Jeff Spicoli" Phelps.
Daschle first.
There was just no way to fix this. By the time the Obama vetters discovered and corrected Daschle's tax problem, the damage was done. If you're working for someone and he gives you something of value and the company declares it as an expense, that's income to you. Bonuses, trips, lavish gifts, and cars equipped with drivers...all income. When you formerly authored tax policy for America, "I didn't realize..." is not the "A" response. Sadly, in a world where the CEO of Merrill Lynch thinks it's OK, under any condition, to install a $87,000 rug in his office; where car company CEO's fly their corporate jets to Washington to beg for cash; where tone-deafness is so pervasive and entitlement so ingrained that John Edwards imagines that he can run for President and shtupp another woman; no one should be surprised.
The big loser here is America. Tom Daschle had three decades as a Washington insider. If anyone could have forged a universal healthcare package and had it passed, it was he. Senators knew and, for the most part, trusted him. Whoever the administration chooses to replace him will be a step down. This is what happens when you get too close to lobbyists and power brokers. Alfred Hitchcock was once asked if he said that actors were cattle. He replied, "I never said that actors were cattle. I said actors should be treated like cattle." Lobbyists may not be scum but, they should certainly be treated as such.
We never got to know Nancy Killefer. Her affiliation with the consulting giant McKinsey & Co. tells me that, as Chief Performance Officer, she would have been terrific at telling other people what was wrong with them and how "you" should fix it. A good friend tells me that consultants are men who know 500 ways to make love but don't know any women. Whatever Nancy's tax issues are we may never know. However, there may be a power point presentation in our future.
Whether you are in the tank for Obama (and most of us are) or not, you have to be impressed with the grace of the man. First, he takes responsibility; not my staff, not my information gatherers...me. "I screwed up". If Dick Nixon had tried that, he would have completed two terms (but probably no David Frost interview). If GWB had taken the blame for his uncountable mistakes it would have gone on longer than Kate Winslet at an awards show, but he wouldn't be hated as much as he is. No one expects a President to be perfect but we do expect them to be accountable. We expect them to take ownership, fix the problem, learn from it and move on. In President Obama's case, one can imagine him thumb-tapping on his Blackberry "Memo: Christmas presents for cabinet and staff to include Turbo Tax program and a $500 gift certificate to H&R Block."
Michael Phelps is just a kid. Well OK so he's 24. He's still allowed to do stupid things. He's allowed to drive a little too fast, try to unhook his girlfriend's bra in the backseat of his car and experiment with happy smoke at a party. What he is not allowed to do is get caught doing them. In a time of picture phones this might prove difficult; just ask Brittany, Prince Harry and the Oakland Transit Police.
Phelps has used two of his three strikes, having been tagged for DUI in Maryland in 2004. His endorsements are safe for the moment (except for those prudes at Kellogg). Public statements from Speedo, Visa and Omega all say that there are no plans to throw Phelps overboard. After all, who is on the "A" list for Speedo? How about Sully Sullenberger of US Airways fame? He's pretty good in the water.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
...or will faith make my brown eyes blue?
Just when you thought it was going to be a slow news day, up pops one of isitjustme's favorite pious pinatas, The Formerly Reverend Ted "I can't be gay, I'm an evangelical" Haggard. You may remember Rev. Ted from such popular gigs as pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado; head of the National Association of Evangelicals; spiritual confidant of former President George W. Bush and, most prominently, Exhibit A in a scandal involving gay sex and methamphetamines. Naturally, Haggard was anti-gay (in the pulpit anyway) and his little peccadillo brought great shame on him, his family and
There wasn't anything particularly new in this tale of the pompous brought low. After all, the Bible says, "It matterith not which side a man butters his bread" or words to that effect. The quote is from the Gospel according to Bruce but you'll have to look it up. Ted was ostracized from the holier than thou community and banished to New Orleans (where sin is always on the menu). Anyway, the interesting thing about Ted was that several weeks after he was exposed and agreed to counseling, his "spiritual advisers" Jack Hayford and Tommy Barnett declared that the demons had been exorcised. Ted was now completely straight. Glory Hallelujah!
Ted Haggard may be trying to put his gay lovers behind him but bodies keep turning up. We are now learning about another man, this one a church volunteer, who carried on a three year affair with the good reverend (and just when you thought it was safe to go back to the sacristy). All this nonsense because people are afraid to acknowledge who they are.
Our friends in the Catholic Church have an entire organization called "Courage". The goal is to "help with people with same sex attractions". Setting aside the jokes about physicians healing themselves, the Catholic Church has created a medication for which there is no disease. The only thing wrong with gay people is that, having to live half their lives in hiding, many develop a closet-full of neuroses by the time they're thirty. If Christian America stopped trying to "treat" homosexuality and left everyone alone, fewer people would ever think they needed a website like "Courage". Meanwhile the Catholic Church could devote more time to a concept called "Pedophilia is a transmitted disease. Don't pass it around".
There wasn't anything particularly new in this tale of the pompous brought low. After all, the Bible says, "It matterith not which side a man butters his bread" or words to that effect. The quote is from the Gospel according to Bruce but you'll have to look it up. Ted was ostracized from the holier than thou community and banished to New Orleans (where sin is always on the menu). Anyway, the interesting thing about Ted was that several weeks after he was exposed and agreed to counseling, his "spiritual advisers" Jack Hayford and Tommy Barnett declared that the demons had been exorcised. Ted was now completely straight. Glory Hallelujah!
Ted Haggard may be trying to put his gay lovers behind him but bodies keep turning up. We are now learning about another man, this one a church volunteer, who carried on a three year affair with the good reverend (and just when you thought it was safe to go back to the sacristy). All this nonsense because people are afraid to acknowledge who they are.
Our friends in the Catholic Church have an entire organization called "Courage". The goal is to "help with people with same sex attractions". Setting aside the jokes about physicians healing themselves, the Catholic Church has created a medication for which there is no disease. The only thing wrong with gay people is that, having to live half their lives in hiding, many develop a closet-full of neuroses by the time they're thirty. If Christian America stopped trying to "treat" homosexuality and left everyone alone, fewer people would ever think they needed a website like "Courage". Meanwhile the Catholic Church could devote more time to a concept called "Pedophilia is a transmitted disease. Don't pass it around".
...or did the Bush administration strike a blow for air quality just by leaving town?
Really! The air quality in Washington is noticeably improved. The sulfurous odor emanating from the area around the Navel Observatory (home to the Vice President) has cleared, if only to be replaced by a hint of methane. True, the stench at the Justice Department is considerably more pervasive (waterboarding has its downside, you know) but, once the smell of incense and beeswax clears, things will improve. Sadly, the toxic stew that brews continually in the Congress will forever render the air quality over the Capitol unbreathable. If only the new administration could discover a way to flush "the turd formerly known as Karl Rove", the cherry blossoms might bloom again. It may be January but spring is bustin' out all over.
However, for those of you waiting for the Hammer of Thor to descend on the recently departed and much reviled G. Bush, don't hold your breath. It would appear that the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. has more pressing matters to occupy his time. While "U.S. v Cheney, Rove, Gonzales, et al" has a lovely ring to it, the Obama White House (and, by extension, the Obama Justice Department) is having none of it.
One suspects that pragmatism is the primary motivation for wanting to bulldoze the outhouse that was Bush 43. While it's true that Americans would pay real money to watch Paul Wolfowitz explaining to a jury how he doctored the information (one could hardly call it intelligence) that prompted the invasion of Iraq, the new President knows better. The Republican party, although decimated by the elections of 2006 and 2008, could still muster a modicum of righteous indignation if the U.S. Marshalls start frog-marching former Bush officials into federal courts. At a time when President Obama needs Republican support (if only to create the appearance of inclusion), no one needs the distraction of a public tar and feathering (for as delicious as that sounds).
While politics is the motivation for everything in Washington, it's hard not to believe that Barak Obama has no heart for vendetta. After eight years of the most small-minded, mean-spirited, Nixonesque leadership since...well...Nixon, grasping the notion that our President might do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, is daunting. Having been fed a steady diet of lies, cynicism and, edited information, we are reluctant to believe that better angels might be at work. Amid the liberal rants for "justice" and "accountability" (liberals can really be a bunch of self-righteous pains in the ass) the new administration is spending its precious political capital to push forward. MSNBC notwithstanding, the President seems prepared to pardon the Bush cabal through inaction. Oh well! Maybe we'll get a second bite of the apple. If there's a God, Karl Rove will be arrested in Vegas with a gun trying to steal back some Bush memorabilia. It could happen!
However, for those of you waiting for the Hammer of Thor to descend on the recently departed and much reviled G. Bush, don't hold your breath. It would appear that the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. has more pressing matters to occupy his time. While "U.S. v Cheney, Rove, Gonzales, et al" has a lovely ring to it, the Obama White House (and, by extension, the Obama Justice Department) is having none of it.
One suspects that pragmatism is the primary motivation for wanting to bulldoze the outhouse that was Bush 43. While it's true that Americans would pay real money to watch Paul Wolfowitz explaining to a jury how he doctored the information (one could hardly call it intelligence) that prompted the invasion of Iraq, the new President knows better. The Republican party, although decimated by the elections of 2006 and 2008, could still muster a modicum of righteous indignation if the U.S. Marshalls start frog-marching former Bush officials into federal courts. At a time when President Obama needs Republican support (if only to create the appearance of inclusion), no one needs the distraction of a public tar and feathering (for as delicious as that sounds).
While politics is the motivation for everything in Washington, it's hard not to believe that Barak Obama has no heart for vendetta. After eight years of the most small-minded, mean-spirited, Nixonesque leadership since...well...Nixon, grasping the notion that our President might do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, is daunting. Having been fed a steady diet of lies, cynicism and, edited information, we are reluctant to believe that better angels might be at work. Amid the liberal rants for "justice" and "accountability" (liberals can really be a bunch of self-righteous pains in the ass) the new administration is spending its precious political capital to push forward. MSNBC notwithstanding, the President seems prepared to pardon the Bush cabal through inaction. Oh well! Maybe we'll get a second bite of the apple. If there's a God, Karl Rove will be arrested in Vegas with a gun trying to steal back some Bush memorabilia. It could happen!
Monday, January 19, 2009
...or does the State of Israel neve seem to be in a state of grace with anyone?
So ask yourself; exactly how many rockets, fired from Mexico, would the government of the United States tolerate before arranging a military exercise south of the Rio Grande? How many missiles, falling on the civilian population of France, would the French consider a sufficient provocation for retaliation? How about the Germans or, the Brits? It would seem that any country receiving nearly continuous incoming ordnance from a neighboring state would respond almost immediately, and forcefully. The firing of rockets across a border into civilians is a reasonably unambiguous act not to mention extremely rude. This is not mere saber-rattling. This is aggression. So can someone please explain why, after years of provocation by the Hamas government of Gaza, Israel's military response paints them as the bad guys?
Any attempt to definitively assign white and black hats to the players in this morass is futile. Both sides have back-stories and both have some reason for indignation. Trying to decide who holds the moral high ground is difficult. Using the history of the region to chose a champion will only make your hair hurt. Every entity from the Romans to the Ottomans to the Brits to the UN have had a hand in stirring this soup and everyone has only made things worse. There doesn't even seem to be a clear consensus as to what makes a person a Palestinian. Whoever they are, there appears to be about 5.5 million of them in Israel and the territories and they aren't going anywhere.
Despite the fact that the Palestinians have shown no willingness to accept the reality of the State of Israel, their cause has gained some support worldwide. (Using terror as a weapon never worked as well for the IRA. Apparently blowing up Jews is still more acceptable than blowing up Englishmen.) Playing the poor, stateless, oppressed victims, Palestinians have convinced the Western World that they have grievances. The logic is perverse but compelling. Having spent the last 50 odd years doing nothing more productive than throwing rocks and bombs at Israelis, the Palestinians demand a sovereign state from which they can, without consequence, throw rocks and bombs at Israelis. Israel, as you might imagine, sees things a little differently.
Israel already feels victimized by the court of world opinion. Against their better judgement, the Israelis established a kind-of, sort-of, semi autonomous state for the Palestinians in Gaza in 2005. (Giving up some really sweet seaside property.) Given the right to elect a government, these brite lights rejected the PLO ( who in this perverse universe were the moderates) in favor of Hamas, sworn enemies of Israel. Predictably, this worked out about as well as having the NY Yankees play all their home games in Fenway Park.
Oddly enough, Israel objects to being the target of Iranian missiles lobbed over the border from Gaza. (They also object to Iranian missiles being lobbed over the border from Lebanon by Hezbollah but that's another story.) They have asked nicely for the Palestinians to knock it off. The Palestinians have demurred. Israel, predictably cranky from 50 years of this stuff, has sent its army into Gaza to stop the madness. While no one applauds the killing of civilians, the civilians are the problem. They are the ones voting for a government that's getting them killed. They are the ones providing milk and cookies for the guys firing the missiles. How hard is this? Stop shooting at Israel and they'll go home. It's difficult to have much sympathy for people who are causing their own destruction.
As of today, Israel has agreed to a cease fire. The Palestinians have agreed. Sadly, the Palestinian idea of a cease fire is "let's stop so we can reload". This crap will never end as long as the Palestinians insist on being the surrogate aggressors for Iran. It hardly matters whether your cause is just if you have no chance of succeeding. Israel is a fact. Deal with it. Become something besides a victim. Part of the reason that the United Nations put Israel in the middle of the Eastern Mediterranean is that the property appeared vacant. You can fix this. You can decide whether yours is the culture of Omar Khayyam or Mullah Omar. Change! You can do it!
As for Western Europe, change out of your pink panties and stopped being shocked that a country, attacked without cause, would respond with force. Just ask yourself, what would you do in Israel's place...after you asked America for help?
Any attempt to definitively assign white and black hats to the players in this morass is futile. Both sides have back-stories and both have some reason for indignation. Trying to decide who holds the moral high ground is difficult. Using the history of the region to chose a champion will only make your hair hurt. Every entity from the Romans to the Ottomans to the Brits to the UN have had a hand in stirring this soup and everyone has only made things worse. There doesn't even seem to be a clear consensus as to what makes a person a Palestinian. Whoever they are, there appears to be about 5.5 million of them in Israel and the territories and they aren't going anywhere.
Despite the fact that the Palestinians have shown no willingness to accept the reality of the State of Israel, their cause has gained some support worldwide. (Using terror as a weapon never worked as well for the IRA. Apparently blowing up Jews is still more acceptable than blowing up Englishmen.) Playing the poor, stateless, oppressed victims, Palestinians have convinced the Western World that they have grievances. The logic is perverse but compelling. Having spent the last 50 odd years doing nothing more productive than throwing rocks and bombs at Israelis, the Palestinians demand a sovereign state from which they can, without consequence, throw rocks and bombs at Israelis. Israel, as you might imagine, sees things a little differently.
Israel already feels victimized by the court of world opinion. Against their better judgement, the Israelis established a kind-of, sort-of, semi autonomous state for the Palestinians in Gaza in 2005. (Giving up some really sweet seaside property.) Given the right to elect a government, these brite lights rejected the PLO ( who in this perverse universe were the moderates) in favor of Hamas, sworn enemies of Israel. Predictably, this worked out about as well as having the NY Yankees play all their home games in Fenway Park.
Oddly enough, Israel objects to being the target of Iranian missiles lobbed over the border from Gaza. (They also object to Iranian missiles being lobbed over the border from Lebanon by Hezbollah but that's another story.) They have asked nicely for the Palestinians to knock it off. The Palestinians have demurred. Israel, predictably cranky from 50 years of this stuff, has sent its army into Gaza to stop the madness. While no one applauds the killing of civilians, the civilians are the problem. They are the ones voting for a government that's getting them killed. They are the ones providing milk and cookies for the guys firing the missiles. How hard is this? Stop shooting at Israel and they'll go home. It's difficult to have much sympathy for people who are causing their own destruction.
As of today, Israel has agreed to a cease fire. The Palestinians have agreed. Sadly, the Palestinian idea of a cease fire is "let's stop so we can reload". This crap will never end as long as the Palestinians insist on being the surrogate aggressors for Iran. It hardly matters whether your cause is just if you have no chance of succeeding. Israel is a fact. Deal with it. Become something besides a victim. Part of the reason that the United Nations put Israel in the middle of the Eastern Mediterranean is that the property appeared vacant. You can fix this. You can decide whether yours is the culture of Omar Khayyam or Mullah Omar. Change! You can do it!
As for Western Europe, change out of your pink panties and stopped being shocked that a country, attacked without cause, would respond with force. Just ask yourself, what would you do in Israel's place...after you asked America for help?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
...or can you be a woman President and still have inaugural balls?
Things to contemplate during the commercials of Tuesday's coronation...
Item
George W. Bush acknowledged "some mistakes" during his eight year catastrophe tour as President. Well, if you count the fact that he didn't screw up the oath of office, that would make the second thing he got right. Mistakes? When a baseball manager leaves a pitcher in for one-too-many batters, that's a mistake. When you leave the keys in your car and someone steals it, that's a mistake. However, when you ignore the suffering of thousands of Americans in New Orleans after a hurricane, when you lie America into a war that kills thousands and displaces tens of thousands, when you allow a cabal of mean-spirited, neo-con bureaucrats to mismanage every department of government from Interior to Justice, these are not mistakes; that's reckless incompetence.
Bush 43 was over his head the day he took office. After 9/11 he abdicated his responsibility to a gang of sour, vengeful cronies of his father's who never much cared for the Constitution and saw the attack on New York as their opportunity to run it through a shredder.
Thanks God this national nightmare is over. George...go...and take that sulphur smell with you.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
On to the Senate. Yes, Harry Reid looks like a dumb-ass for pontificating about who will be allowed to sit in his chamber. He was out-maneuvered by a Governor who is too stupid not to know when he's being recorded. Harry didn't count on the introduction of a sympathetic, 71 year old black man who would have taken this job if it had been offered by Bernie Madoff. Race was never a factor in anyone's actions, but the sight of 99 white guys (actually 16 are women) slamming the door on one black man...in the rain, no less, made the Senate and Harry Reid look like the membership committee at Augusta National.
One can only speculate as to what Gov. Blago hoped to gain by choosing Roland Burris but maybe he was hoping for some really good Nats tickets.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Among the names you pray-to-God never to hear again, are Sarah Palin and Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher. Sadly, both of these cancers are still making the papers. Governor Snowshoes is now granting all the interviews she dodged during the campaign. Sarah is currently conducting the "Katie Curic Ate My Baby" tour with nothing good to say about the media. Apparently, it was that gaggle of liberal intellectuals at ABC, NBC, CBS, et al, that was solely responsible for making the Governor appear clueless, ill-informed, woefully under-qualified and a bad mother. Most Americans think that Sarah was giving that impression without much help.
Nevertheless, we must be charitable. After all, it's January, it's cold in Alaska. Most of Sarah's constituents are curled up with the livestock. If she doesn't talk to Sean Hannity or create some buzz on YouTube she might be forced to run the state that elected her. Boring!
Joe the Plumber, on the other hand, is squeezing every ounce of celebrity possible from his fifteen minutes. He was recently dispatched to Israel by the right-wing blog Pajamamedia that has some sort of broadcast arm called PajamaTV. What anyone in the news biz at any level thinks this bag-of-hammers could add to our knowledge of the Gaza War is anyone's guess. His novel take on the complex events in Gaza included a condemnation of all news coverage of wars. "I don't think journalists should be anywhere around war." He, not being a journalist by any definition, was apparently exempt.
Please, America, whatever God you pray to, pray that PajamaTV only gave this hamburger a one-way ticket.
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Item
Although this blog has never pretended to be fair and balanced, (You want fair, watch Canadian TV) there has been recent criticism that isitjustme has ignored certain issues that, had they involved conservatives or Bushies, would have drawn more attention. Answering that criticism, we submit the following:
Treasury Secretary-designate Timothy Geithner is getting some flak for non-payment of federal taxes. The details of this are murky but they have to do with self-employment taxes and Social Security withholdings. While there is delightful irony in the fact that Geithner will, if confirmed, control the IRS, there isn't much scandal here. Embarrassing, yes. Damaging, no. Even the Republicans aren't making much of this. As to his housekeeper and her immigration status; please!
Eric Holder Jr., Obama's choice to run the Justice Department, has also drawn some criticism. In his case the issue is his role, or lack of a role, in some of Bill Clinton's dubious pardons as he left office in 2000. Holder was, at that time, deputy Attorney General and decided not to oppose Clinton's pardon of Marc Rich, a fugitive financier. This may have been a bad choice but, it hardly rises to the level of criminal conduct. Besides, Obama could appoint Bernie Madoff and still not approximate the stench created by such legal brite-lights as John "cover up those tits" Ashcroft or Alberto "attach electrodes to their nuts and call it macaroni" Gonzales. Anyone crazy enough to attempt to clean up the Justice Dept. should be granted a free hand and as much industrial-strength Mr. Clean as the job requires.
As for Governor Richardson of New Mexico, this is a tough one. He must have known that he was under investigation (paging Gov. Blagojevich) and so must the Obama transition people. Why the incoming President, especially this incoming President, would appoint a tainted politician to his cabinet, I cannot say. Chalk it up to bad Karma.
Hopefully these comments will put to rest any further whining that isitjustme isn't eager to tackle the tough issues, regardless of which party is involved. As long as we can circle back to some good old-fashioned Bush/conservative bashing, no topic is off limits. Fear not soon-to-be-former President Bush. Your legacy is safe with me.
Item
George W. Bush acknowledged "some mistakes" during his eight year catastrophe tour as President. Well, if you count the fact that he didn't screw up the oath of office, that would make the second thing he got right. Mistakes? When a baseball manager leaves a pitcher in for one-too-many batters, that's a mistake. When you leave the keys in your car and someone steals it, that's a mistake. However, when you ignore the suffering of thousands of Americans in New Orleans after a hurricane, when you lie America into a war that kills thousands and displaces tens of thousands, when you allow a cabal of mean-spirited, neo-con bureaucrats to mismanage every department of government from Interior to Justice, these are not mistakes; that's reckless incompetence.
Bush 43 was over his head the day he took office. After 9/11 he abdicated his responsibility to a gang of sour, vengeful cronies of his father's who never much cared for the Constitution and saw the attack on New York as their opportunity to run it through a shredder.
Thanks God this national nightmare is over. George...go...and take that sulphur smell with you.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
On to the Senate. Yes, Harry Reid looks like a dumb-ass for pontificating about who will be allowed to sit in his chamber. He was out-maneuvered by a Governor who is too stupid not to know when he's being recorded. Harry didn't count on the introduction of a sympathetic, 71 year old black man who would have taken this job if it had been offered by Bernie Madoff. Race was never a factor in anyone's actions, but the sight of 99 white guys (actually 16 are women) slamming the door on one black man...in the rain, no less, made the Senate and Harry Reid look like the membership committee at Augusta National.
One can only speculate as to what Gov. Blago hoped to gain by choosing Roland Burris but maybe he was hoping for some really good Nats tickets.
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Item
Among the names you pray-to-God never to hear again, are Sarah Palin and Joe "the Plumber" Wurzelbacher. Sadly, both of these cancers are still making the papers. Governor Snowshoes is now granting all the interviews she dodged during the campaign. Sarah is currently conducting the "Katie Curic Ate My Baby" tour with nothing good to say about the media. Apparently, it was that gaggle of liberal intellectuals at ABC, NBC, CBS, et al, that was solely responsible for making the Governor appear clueless, ill-informed, woefully under-qualified and a bad mother. Most Americans think that Sarah was giving that impression without much help.
Nevertheless, we must be charitable. After all, it's January, it's cold in Alaska. Most of Sarah's constituents are curled up with the livestock. If she doesn't talk to Sean Hannity or create some buzz on YouTube she might be forced to run the state that elected her. Boring!
Joe the Plumber, on the other hand, is squeezing every ounce of celebrity possible from his fifteen minutes. He was recently dispatched to Israel by the right-wing blog Pajamamedia that has some sort of broadcast arm called PajamaTV. What anyone in the news biz at any level thinks this bag-of-hammers could add to our knowledge of the Gaza War is anyone's guess. His novel take on the complex events in Gaza included a condemnation of all news coverage of wars. "I don't think journalists should be anywhere around war." He, not being a journalist by any definition, was apparently exempt.
Please, America, whatever God you pray to, pray that PajamaTV only gave this hamburger a one-way ticket.
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Although this blog has never pretended to be fair and balanced, (You want fair, watch Canadian TV) there has been recent criticism that isitjustme has ignored certain issues that, had they involved conservatives or Bushies, would have drawn more attention. Answering that criticism, we submit the following:
Treasury Secretary-designate Timothy Geithner is getting some flak for non-payment of federal taxes. The details of this are murky but they have to do with self-employment taxes and Social Security withholdings. While there is delightful irony in the fact that Geithner will, if confirmed, control the IRS, there isn't much scandal here. Embarrassing, yes. Damaging, no. Even the Republicans aren't making much of this. As to his housekeeper and her immigration status; please!
Eric Holder Jr., Obama's choice to run the Justice Department, has also drawn some criticism. In his case the issue is his role, or lack of a role, in some of Bill Clinton's dubious pardons as he left office in 2000. Holder was, at that time, deputy Attorney General and decided not to oppose Clinton's pardon of Marc Rich, a fugitive financier. This may have been a bad choice but, it hardly rises to the level of criminal conduct. Besides, Obama could appoint Bernie Madoff and still not approximate the stench created by such legal brite-lights as John "cover up those tits" Ashcroft or Alberto "attach electrodes to their nuts and call it macaroni" Gonzales. Anyone crazy enough to attempt to clean up the Justice Dept. should be granted a free hand and as much industrial-strength Mr. Clean as the job requires.
As for Governor Richardson of New Mexico, this is a tough one. He must have known that he was under investigation (paging Gov. Blagojevich) and so must the Obama transition people. Why the incoming President, especially this incoming President, would appoint a tainted politician to his cabinet, I cannot say. Chalk it up to bad Karma.
Hopefully these comments will put to rest any further whining that isitjustme isn't eager to tackle the tough issues, regardless of which party is involved. As long as we can circle back to some good old-fashioned Bush/conservative bashing, no topic is off limits. Fear not soon-to-be-former President Bush. Your legacy is safe with me.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
...or does political correctness mean always having to say you're sorry?
Things that happened while you were watching your 401(K) sink slowly in the west:
Item
AirTran Airlines has apologized to nine Muslim passengers who were unceremoniously removed from a flight out of Reagan National Airport. It seems that one of the Muslims was overheard by another passenger discussing the safest seat on a plane should there be an "accident". Possibly not the best conversation for two Middle Eastern types but, hey, the World Trade Center was seven years ago and people of Arab extraction forget who they are and where they are. The air marshalls on the flight removed not just the two people having the conversation but an entire party of nine. Fortunately Mohammad Ali wasn't on the flight or he might have gotten the heave- ho also.
This is a sad situation. Americans pride themselves on fairness. We tend to be welcoming, even curious about people and cultures different from ours. We understand that we are a country of immigrants and that, for as much as we fight it, diversity is part of who we are...just ask Barak Hussein Obama.
That said, we were attacked in 2001 by eighteen men who shared a discernible ethnic origin and religion.They all looked similar. Our enemies in Iraq and any potential terrorist from Saudi Arabia or Yemen will most likely be dark-complected, black haired, and bearded. Middle Eastern peoples evoke in us more fear than hate. To see them on a plane calls to mind the horror of September 11 and even the visage of Osama bin Ladin. Once the doors close on an airplane your safety is in the hands of everyone on the flight. Potential threats become magnified. Almost all of us have been on flights with "scary-looking" Middle Eastern types and we all secretly wished that someone would encourage them to take another plane. To think otherwise would be unnatural.
Allow me to add my apology to the apology of AirTrans. I'm sorry about this situation. I'm sorry that a group of harmless travelers has been singled out for harassment and humiliation. I'm sorry that one off-handed comment, made by an otherwise innocent woman could cause such a fear-filled and outsized reaction. I'm sorry that just being identified as a Muslim or Arab can subject a person to scrutiny and persecution. But most of all, I'm sorry because it's going to happen again and again and there's no cure for it. We need to protect ourselves and, while it's unfortunate that profiling is necessary, it is all we have. People expect air safety and if a person poses a threat, however remote, there must be a response. Nobody likes it but there it is. Until science and engineering can reliably purge air travel of every potential threat, Middle Eastern people can expect the harassment to continue. Sorry.
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The Republican National Committee, fresh from the most humiliating defeat since, well 2006, is in search of a new chairman. Recent history would suggest that this job would be only slightly more popular than hunting for land mines with a cricket bat. There are, however, several candidates vying for the job. One such leader-to-be is Chip Saltsman of Tennessee. Also in contention are J. Kenneth Blackwell of Ohio and and Michael Steele of Maryland. Both Blackwell and Steele are African-American. Coincidentally, they correspond to the exact number of votes that John McCain received in the black community.
Most Republicans understand that, among their myriad problems, is the perception that the GOP is just a giant country club with a big "whites only" sign on the front door. The only minorities of any kind welcome at Republican headquarters better be swinging a mop.
Not so, says Mr. Saltsmen and to drive home the point, he has provided several party members a CD including a song called, "Barak, the Magic Negro". Funny, eh? Played to the tune of "Puff The Magic Dragon" the song (which isn't particularly funny) is intended to... well, frankly I don't know what the point is, aside from making Chip Saltsman look like a bigot and a fool.
Setting aside the bad taste for a minute, did Mr. Saltsman miss the meeting where the party discussed Republican isolation? Did he skip the class on class? Today's Republican party isn't your father's party it's your grandfather's party. There were fewer black faces at the RNC in Minneapolis in Sept. than there are members of the Mills Brothers. The only young people supporting the GOP these days are cultural warriors who are mostly opposed to stuff: stem cell research, abortion, sex; nothing a few days in Vegas wouldn't cure. The faces of the Republican party in 2008 are Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich and Dick Chenney...sort of the No-Pep Boys.
The Republicans are on the wrong side of virtually every issue. They deny global warming, ridicule green technology, encourage domestic drilling and scoff at any form of environmental or animal protection. When your best hope for the future is Sarah Palin, you have no future. When you are so bereft of talent that you need help from Alaska, you got trouble right here in River City.
Anyway, as a member of the other team, I applaud Mr. Saltsman's approach to campaigning for the chairmanship. We can't have too many racially insensitive songs in circulation. As a follow-up the GOP could distribute "The Films of Stepin Fetchit" or "Amos n' Andy, Klan Favorites". As an encore, Mr. Saltsman can appear at the next GOP Convention in blackface.
Item
AirTran Airlines has apologized to nine Muslim passengers who were unceremoniously removed from a flight out of Reagan National Airport. It seems that one of the Muslims was overheard by another passenger discussing the safest seat on a plane should there be an "accident". Possibly not the best conversation for two Middle Eastern types but, hey, the World Trade Center was seven years ago and people of Arab extraction forget who they are and where they are. The air marshalls on the flight removed not just the two people having the conversation but an entire party of nine. Fortunately Mohammad Ali wasn't on the flight or he might have gotten the heave- ho also.
This is a sad situation. Americans pride themselves on fairness. We tend to be welcoming, even curious about people and cultures different from ours. We understand that we are a country of immigrants and that, for as much as we fight it, diversity is part of who we are...just ask Barak Hussein Obama.
That said, we were attacked in 2001 by eighteen men who shared a discernible ethnic origin and religion.They all looked similar. Our enemies in Iraq and any potential terrorist from Saudi Arabia or Yemen will most likely be dark-complected, black haired, and bearded. Middle Eastern peoples evoke in us more fear than hate. To see them on a plane calls to mind the horror of September 11 and even the visage of Osama bin Ladin. Once the doors close on an airplane your safety is in the hands of everyone on the flight. Potential threats become magnified. Almost all of us have been on flights with "scary-looking" Middle Eastern types and we all secretly wished that someone would encourage them to take another plane. To think otherwise would be unnatural.
Allow me to add my apology to the apology of AirTrans. I'm sorry about this situation. I'm sorry that a group of harmless travelers has been singled out for harassment and humiliation. I'm sorry that one off-handed comment, made by an otherwise innocent woman could cause such a fear-filled and outsized reaction. I'm sorry that just being identified as a Muslim or Arab can subject a person to scrutiny and persecution. But most of all, I'm sorry because it's going to happen again and again and there's no cure for it. We need to protect ourselves and, while it's unfortunate that profiling is necessary, it is all we have. People expect air safety and if a person poses a threat, however remote, there must be a response. Nobody likes it but there it is. Until science and engineering can reliably purge air travel of every potential threat, Middle Eastern people can expect the harassment to continue. Sorry.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
The Republican National Committee, fresh from the most humiliating defeat since, well 2006, is in search of a new chairman. Recent history would suggest that this job would be only slightly more popular than hunting for land mines with a cricket bat. There are, however, several candidates vying for the job. One such leader-to-be is Chip Saltsman of Tennessee. Also in contention are J. Kenneth Blackwell of Ohio and and Michael Steele of Maryland. Both Blackwell and Steele are African-American. Coincidentally, they correspond to the exact number of votes that John McCain received in the black community.
Most Republicans understand that, among their myriad problems, is the perception that the GOP is just a giant country club with a big "whites only" sign on the front door. The only minorities of any kind welcome at Republican headquarters better be swinging a mop.
Not so, says Mr. Saltsmen and to drive home the point, he has provided several party members a CD including a song called, "Barak, the Magic Negro". Funny, eh? Played to the tune of "Puff The Magic Dragon" the song (which isn't particularly funny) is intended to... well, frankly I don't know what the point is, aside from making Chip Saltsman look like a bigot and a fool.
Setting aside the bad taste for a minute, did Mr. Saltsman miss the meeting where the party discussed Republican isolation? Did he skip the class on class? Today's Republican party isn't your father's party it's your grandfather's party. There were fewer black faces at the RNC in Minneapolis in Sept. than there are members of the Mills Brothers. The only young people supporting the GOP these days are cultural warriors who are mostly opposed to stuff: stem cell research, abortion, sex; nothing a few days in Vegas wouldn't cure. The faces of the Republican party in 2008 are Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich and Dick Chenney...sort of the No-Pep Boys.
The Republicans are on the wrong side of virtually every issue. They deny global warming, ridicule green technology, encourage domestic drilling and scoff at any form of environmental or animal protection. When your best hope for the future is Sarah Palin, you have no future. When you are so bereft of talent that you need help from Alaska, you got trouble right here in River City.
Anyway, as a member of the other team, I applaud Mr. Saltsman's approach to campaigning for the chairmanship. We can't have too many racially insensitive songs in circulation. As a follow-up the GOP could distribute "The Films of Stepin Fetchit" or "Amos n' Andy, Klan Favorites". As an encore, Mr. Saltsman can appear at the next GOP Convention in blackface.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
...or is America desperate for some royalty? Any royalty?
As of today, the Governor of New York, David Paterson, is still weighing his options with regard to the soon-to-be-vacant Senate seat of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Unless you have been living in Dick Cheney's undisclosed location, you probably know the leading candidate for the job is Caroline Kennedy-Schlossberg, daughter of the sainted John Fitzgerald Kennedy...the Lord have mercy on his soul. This decision has created an interesting quandary, not just for Governor Paterson but for thinking liberals everywhere. (Yes, Virginia, liberals do think occasionally. The term "knee-jerk" is a major overstatement.) On the one hand Caroline is a bright, educated, well-spoken women who has devoted much of her energies to worthy causes. She attended Columbia Law and has raised three children. Her choice to avoid the spotlight has been just that - a choice. She has not spent the last thirty or so years clipping coupons in Hyannis Port and Palm Beach.
Unfortunately, Caroline's longtime low profile is working against her. Prior to her public support of Barak Obama, Ms. Kennedy-Schlossberg confined her civic activities to educational causes and work with the Kennedy Foundation. Her relatively recent appearance on the national political stage and subsequent role as maybe senator-to-be has the look of a coronation. Have we all been standing around waiting for a new Kennedy to lead us? Critics argue that a pretty face and a star spangled name does not a legislator make. Fortunately for Ms. Kennedy-Schlossberg, many of those critics thought Sarah Palin would be a peachy vice president and George W. Bush would rival Lincoln as a chief executive.
Several facts are clear. It certainly doesn't take a Rhodes scholar to be a Senator. As proof I offer Larry "wide stance" Craig and Ted "the furniture storage man" Stevens. If you can manage to get yourself elected, the job is yours. The key point, however, is "get yourself elected." Being appointed is a different situation.
In Illinois, this decision was easier. The more zeros on the check, the more likely you are to hear "right this way, Senator." Governor Paterson has it tougher. He can't look like he's just making the easy choice. He also can't appear to be pandering to Barak Obama or his henchmen. The appointment can't look like a quid pro quo payoff for Caroline's support in the primaries. What to do? What to do?
The Governor could "go maverick" (don't you hope you never hear that term ever again?) and chose a total unknown. After all, that's what Paterson was before his predecessor, Governor Eliot "Client #9" Spitzer pulled him from the legislature in Albany to be his running mate in 2006. As such, Paterson is certainly no stranger to the concept of being plucked from obscurity. Given his current dilemma, he probably wishes that Spitzer had chosen some other guy.
It's not like Paterson is swimming in options. He could name Andrew Cuomo, New York's current Attorney General, but Cuomo's star power is, like Kennedy-Schlossberg's, derived primarily from his name. (Cuomo could gain valuable support from his current girl friend, Food Channel star Sandra Lee. After all nobody doesn't like Sandra Lee.) Beyond Cuomo and Kennedy-Schlossberg the pickings are a bit sparse. (Chelsea Clinton has thus far expressed no interest in replacing her mother in the Senate.)
Unfortunately, Caroline's longtime low profile is working against her. Prior to her public support of Barak Obama, Ms. Kennedy-Schlossberg confined her civic activities to educational causes and work with the Kennedy Foundation. Her relatively recent appearance on the national political stage and subsequent role as maybe senator-to-be has the look of a coronation. Have we all been standing around waiting for a new Kennedy to lead us? Critics argue that a pretty face and a star spangled name does not a legislator make. Fortunately for Ms. Kennedy-Schlossberg, many of those critics thought Sarah Palin would be a peachy vice president and George W. Bush would rival Lincoln as a chief executive.
Several facts are clear. It certainly doesn't take a Rhodes scholar to be a Senator. As proof I offer Larry "wide stance" Craig and Ted "the furniture storage man" Stevens. If you can manage to get yourself elected, the job is yours. The key point, however, is "get yourself elected." Being appointed is a different situation.
In Illinois, this decision was easier. The more zeros on the check, the more likely you are to hear "right this way, Senator." Governor Paterson has it tougher. He can't look like he's just making the easy choice. He also can't appear to be pandering to Barak Obama or his henchmen. The appointment can't look like a quid pro quo payoff for Caroline's support in the primaries. What to do? What to do?
The Governor could "go maverick" (don't you hope you never hear that term ever again?) and chose a total unknown. After all, that's what Paterson was before his predecessor, Governor Eliot "Client #9" Spitzer pulled him from the legislature in Albany to be his running mate in 2006. As such, Paterson is certainly no stranger to the concept of being plucked from obscurity. Given his current dilemma, he probably wishes that Spitzer had chosen some other guy.
It's not like Paterson is swimming in options. He could name Andrew Cuomo, New York's current Attorney General, but Cuomo's star power is, like Kennedy-Schlossberg's, derived primarily from his name. (Cuomo could gain valuable support from his current girl friend, Food Channel star Sandra Lee. After all nobody doesn't like Sandra Lee.) Beyond Cuomo and Kennedy-Schlossberg the pickings are a bit sparse. (Chelsea Clinton has thus far expressed no interest in replacing her mother in the Senate.)
Governor Paterson still has a few options. He could use a lifeline and call a friend; my advice would be to contact the Governor of Delaware. Paterson could contact Fred Armison of Saturday Night Live to see which choice will garner the least ridicule. He could call Rahm Emanuel, although I doubt old Rahm is anxious to discuss Senate seats with any governor without benefit of council. Lastly, Paterson could try the old Sarah Palin switcheroo and name himself. At least that way he wouldn't be accused of picking a well known superstar. Paterson is easily the most obscure man in New York.
Happy New Year!
...or is George W. Bush really the hardest working man in show business?
Thoughts at the close of 2008 Volume II
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Yes, I know. George Bush is history...gone...adios. Stop flogging a dead jackass. Well, I'm trying, however, when new tidbits of idiocy continue to crop up every day, it's tough to just let go.
Example: The Bush Administration, in a farewell embrace of the National Rifle Association, has issued a new policy permitting the carrying of loaded, concealed firearms in most national parks and wildlife refuges. (Read that again!) Could someone possibly enlighten me as to what purpose is served by allowing hikers, campers and nature-lovers to stroll the Oyster Bay National Wildlife Refuge packing heat? These aren't hunters we're discussing. Just your average family man communing with nature in the company of his family and his Glock 9mm with 14 in the clip and one in the chamber. So what's next, George? You still have 20 days. How about a law permitting dog fighting in church basements; or lifting the pooper-scooper laws in New York? There's still plenty of time to mangle the economy or befoul the atmosphere. Call your EPA director if you need any ideas.
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Item
Former Attorney General Alberto "Torture? Why Not!" Gonzales is writing a book to clear up the misunderstanding surrounding his tenure as America's Top Cop. One can hardly wait to dive into 355 pages of how the liberal media distorted and misrepresented his good intentions and wise legal counsel. Who could resist the heart-warming story of a poor Catholic child born in Humble, Texas (Yes. That's the town name) and his rise to attend Harvard Law and ultimately to head the Justice Department in 2005? Don't expect to see much about how Al and his boss ran the U.S. Constitution through a blender to justify the incarceration of prisoners in Guantanamo or the systematic torture of detainees at Abu Graib. Other likely omissions will certainly include: The Texas Youth Commission Scandal, the complete ignorance of the Geneva Convention and the attempt to politicize the Justice Department.
Proposed titles for Mr. Gonzales' book include: "Authorized Waterboarding Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry", " It's Only Illegal If I Say So", "I Wanted to Attend Liberty University School of Law. Harvard Was My Safety School" or "If You Think Waterboarding is Torture, Read My Book".
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But if you think Alberto Gonzales' book is funny...
A New Jersey man is accusing a ShopRite supermarket in Greenwich Township of discrimination because the store refused to print a birthday cake with the man's son's name in the icing. The name...Adolph Hitler Campbell. Mr. Heath Campbell of Holland Township has two other children, both girls, named Joycelynn Ayran Nation Campbell, age 2 and (it gets better) Honszlynn Himler Jeannie Campbell, one year old. It's real Americans like Mr. Campbell that make you want to reconsider some of those forced sterilization ideas that were all the rage in Berlin in the 30's. No one asked Mr. Campbell if he'd like to carry a loaded weapon in the park. What's your guess?
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Russian President Dmitry Medvedev signed a law this week extending the term of Russian President from four to six years. WOW! Couldn't see that coming! Rumor has it that the first law enacted by the Russian Parliament in 2009 will permit a Russian President to serve for life, but only if his initials are Vladimir Putin.
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And another organization always ready to provide a chuckle, the Catholic Church made the news in the person of Chilean Cardinal Jorge Medina. Cardinal Medina took issue with Madonna (that would be Alex Rodriguez' Madonna, not the one in all those paintings). The good Cardinal called Madonna's concert "an offense to God" and "incredibly shameful behavior". Gee! And you thought the critics at Rolling Stone were tough?
Interestingly enough, Cardinal Medina made his pronouncement during a Mass for the late dictator Augusto Pinochet who died in 2006. You may remember Pinochet as the brutal dictator responsible for the murder and torture of tens of thousands of Chilean citizens that disagreed with his style of government. Apparently Cardinal Medina, in the spirit of forgive and forget, did not find General Pinochet's actions in 1973 "incredibly shameful behavior". There's just no accounting for taste.
Item
Yes, I know. George Bush is history...gone...adios. Stop flogging a dead jackass. Well, I'm trying, however, when new tidbits of idiocy continue to crop up every day, it's tough to just let go.
Example: The Bush Administration, in a farewell embrace of the National Rifle Association, has issued a new policy permitting the carrying of loaded, concealed firearms in most national parks and wildlife refuges. (Read that again!) Could someone possibly enlighten me as to what purpose is served by allowing hikers, campers and nature-lovers to stroll the Oyster Bay National Wildlife Refuge packing heat? These aren't hunters we're discussing. Just your average family man communing with nature in the company of his family and his Glock 9mm with 14 in the clip and one in the chamber. So what's next, George? You still have 20 days. How about a law permitting dog fighting in church basements; or lifting the pooper-scooper laws in New York? There's still plenty of time to mangle the economy or befoul the atmosphere. Call your EPA director if you need any ideas.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Former Attorney General Alberto "Torture? Why Not!" Gonzales is writing a book to clear up the misunderstanding surrounding his tenure as America's Top Cop. One can hardly wait to dive into 355 pages of how the liberal media distorted and misrepresented his good intentions and wise legal counsel. Who could resist the heart-warming story of a poor Catholic child born in Humble, Texas (Yes. That's the town name) and his rise to attend Harvard Law and ultimately to head the Justice Department in 2005? Don't expect to see much about how Al and his boss ran the U.S. Constitution through a blender to justify the incarceration of prisoners in Guantanamo or the systematic torture of detainees at Abu Graib. Other likely omissions will certainly include: The Texas Youth Commission Scandal, the complete ignorance of the Geneva Convention and the attempt to politicize the Justice Department.
Proposed titles for Mr. Gonzales' book include: "Authorized Waterboarding Means Never Having To Say You're Sorry", " It's Only Illegal If I Say So", "I Wanted to Attend Liberty University School of Law. Harvard Was My Safety School" or "If You Think Waterboarding is Torture, Read My Book".
____________________________________________________________________
Item
But if you think Alberto Gonzales' book is funny...
A New Jersey man is accusing a ShopRite supermarket in Greenwich Township of discrimination because the store refused to print a birthday cake with the man's son's name in the icing. The name...Adolph Hitler Campbell. Mr. Heath Campbell of Holland Township has two other children, both girls, named Joycelynn Ayran Nation Campbell, age 2 and (it gets better) Honszlynn Himler Jeannie Campbell, one year old. It's real Americans like Mr. Campbell that make you want to reconsider some of those forced sterilization ideas that were all the rage in Berlin in the 30's. No one asked Mr. Campbell if he'd like to carry a loaded weapon in the park. What's your guess?
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev signed a law this week extending the term of Russian President from four to six years. WOW! Couldn't see that coming! Rumor has it that the first law enacted by the Russian Parliament in 2009 will permit a Russian President to serve for life, but only if his initials are Vladimir Putin.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
And another organization always ready to provide a chuckle, the Catholic Church made the news in the person of Chilean Cardinal Jorge Medina. Cardinal Medina took issue with Madonna (that would be Alex Rodriguez' Madonna, not the one in all those paintings). The good Cardinal called Madonna's concert "an offense to God" and "incredibly shameful behavior". Gee! And you thought the critics at Rolling Stone were tough?
Interestingly enough, Cardinal Medina made his pronouncement during a Mass for the late dictator Augusto Pinochet who died in 2006. You may remember Pinochet as the brutal dictator responsible for the murder and torture of tens of thousands of Chilean citizens that disagreed with his style of government. Apparently Cardinal Medina, in the spirit of forgive and forget, did not find General Pinochet's actions in 1973 "incredibly shameful behavior". There's just no accounting for taste.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
...or is kicking a man when he's down really the only time to do it?
Thoughts at the close of 2008 Volume I:
We would all be delighted to allow George W. Bush to slink off the stage and forever be consigned to the obscurity he so richly deserves. Think Nixon at the helicopter door. Unfortunately, a few remaining Bush apologists who still have access to the media (and who don't have tell-all books headed for publication) are determined to keep Curious George in the papers, if not in the headlines.
Most vocal thus far is Condoleezza Rice. Having been one of the architects of the Bush Doctrine (Don't feel bad, Sarah. I didn't know it had a name either.) Secretary Rice can be forgiven for applying a little grease paint to her foreign policy porker. In several interviews granted last week, she expresses no remorse for the senseless deaths in Iraq. She is confident that history will vindicate both her and her boss. Patriotism may be the last refuge of scoundrels but history is surely the last refuge of bone-headed policy-makers. Secretary Rice has also postulated that, thanks to the efforts of GWB, the Middle East is in much better shape than eight years ago. I suspect the cheering crowds in Jerusalem and Amman are being drowned out by the falling bombs and rockets in Gaza.
The entire eight years of Bush foreign policy can be written in one word: Iraq. History may ultimately see the invasion of a sovereign nation as a bold stroke with glorious results. Sadly, the 4,219 Americans and 50,000 Iraqis killed since 2003 won't be around to read about it.
But Condi is not alone in her praise for the outgoing CIC. Not content to pack up the trailer and return to Texas, Laura Bush has decided to break eight years of silence in defense of her much-maligned hubby. Naturally, the venue of choice was Fox News. Mrs. Bush arrived with the usual wagon-load of excuses as to why her husband is held in the same high regard as O.J. Simpson and Rod Blagojevich. She blames, who else? The media.
It was the news coverage of Katrina that made Clueless George look a buffoon, not the complete ineptitude of FEMA. After all only 1,800 people died in the storm and it's aftermath, not the 10,000 originally reported. It was those liberal reporters and photographers that kept showing all that human suffering rather than focusing on John McCain's birthday party...like the Commander in Chief did. Laura, sweetheart, stop talking! We liked you much better when we thought you were a cardboard cutout.
And last and least is Karl "with enough money and dirty tricks I could get a pound of headcheese elected president...and did" Rove. Thanks to his weekly gig in The Wall Street Journal, Rove continues to justify and excuse the bag of hammers that became Bush 43.
This week Karl was busy praising GWB as an avid reader. According to Rove, George polished off 95 books in 2006 alone. The President's reading list runs mostly to biographies and history. Tragically, a few titles missing from the list include, "Waging War For Dummies", "Chicken Soup For the Families of 4,219 Fallen Americans", and "Everything I Needed To Know To Be President I Learned From Don Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney". I wonder if the list from 2001 included "The Pet Goat".
Rove is the worst kind of apologist. As a modern day Rasputin he stood in the shadows, always careful not to soil his hands. It's unlikely that any subpoena will ever bear his name. Colin Powell will be remembered as the Secretary of State who lied before the entire United Nations. Rumsfeld will be forever blamed for the conduct of the Iraq War. However, none of the Bush failures, and they are legion, will land at the feet of Karl Rove. We can only hope that, without a power base as a threat, Rove's band of trolls will turn on him. There are plenty of publishers out there just itching to print the dirt. The book will be called "If He Did It, The Sequel".
We would all be delighted to allow George W. Bush to slink off the stage and forever be consigned to the obscurity he so richly deserves. Think Nixon at the helicopter door. Unfortunately, a few remaining Bush apologists who still have access to the media (and who don't have tell-all books headed for publication) are determined to keep Curious George in the papers, if not in the headlines.
Most vocal thus far is Condoleezza Rice. Having been one of the architects of the Bush Doctrine (Don't feel bad, Sarah. I didn't know it had a name either.) Secretary Rice can be forgiven for applying a little grease paint to her foreign policy porker. In several interviews granted last week, she expresses no remorse for the senseless deaths in Iraq. She is confident that history will vindicate both her and her boss. Patriotism may be the last refuge of scoundrels but history is surely the last refuge of bone-headed policy-makers. Secretary Rice has also postulated that, thanks to the efforts of GWB, the Middle East is in much better shape than eight years ago. I suspect the cheering crowds in Jerusalem and Amman are being drowned out by the falling bombs and rockets in Gaza.
The entire eight years of Bush foreign policy can be written in one word: Iraq. History may ultimately see the invasion of a sovereign nation as a bold stroke with glorious results. Sadly, the 4,219 Americans and 50,000 Iraqis killed since 2003 won't be around to read about it.
But Condi is not alone in her praise for the outgoing CIC. Not content to pack up the trailer and return to Texas, Laura Bush has decided to break eight years of silence in defense of her much-maligned hubby. Naturally, the venue of choice was Fox News. Mrs. Bush arrived with the usual wagon-load of excuses as to why her husband is held in the same high regard as O.J. Simpson and Rod Blagojevich. She blames, who else? The media.
It was the news coverage of Katrina that made Clueless George look a buffoon, not the complete ineptitude of FEMA. After all only 1,800 people died in the storm and it's aftermath, not the 10,000 originally reported. It was those liberal reporters and photographers that kept showing all that human suffering rather than focusing on John McCain's birthday party...like the Commander in Chief did. Laura, sweetheart, stop talking! We liked you much better when we thought you were a cardboard cutout.
And last and least is Karl "with enough money and dirty tricks I could get a pound of headcheese elected president...and did" Rove. Thanks to his weekly gig in The Wall Street Journal, Rove continues to justify and excuse the bag of hammers that became Bush 43.
This week Karl was busy praising GWB as an avid reader. According to Rove, George polished off 95 books in 2006 alone. The President's reading list runs mostly to biographies and history. Tragically, a few titles missing from the list include, "Waging War For Dummies", "Chicken Soup For the Families of 4,219 Fallen Americans", and "Everything I Needed To Know To Be President I Learned From Don Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney". I wonder if the list from 2001 included "The Pet Goat".
Rove is the worst kind of apologist. As a modern day Rasputin he stood in the shadows, always careful not to soil his hands. It's unlikely that any subpoena will ever bear his name. Colin Powell will be remembered as the Secretary of State who lied before the entire United Nations. Rumsfeld will be forever blamed for the conduct of the Iraq War. However, none of the Bush failures, and they are legion, will land at the feet of Karl Rove. We can only hope that, without a power base as a threat, Rove's band of trolls will turn on him. There are plenty of publishers out there just itching to print the dirt. The book will be called "If He Did It, The Sequel".
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
...or does Santa require a warrent to discover who's naughty or nice?
Yes, yes I know it's been a while since the ethernet has crackled with the insights of isitjustme but, after all, if you can't be funnier than the truth, you need to shut up. How is a poor, second rate observer supposed to compete with the details oozing from Springfield, Illinois? This is the first reality TV show that's got any entertainment value. "Survivor, Springfield" "Complete Combover, Home Edition" "Are You Smarter Than the Governor of Illinois?" Were it not for the potential damage to the reputation of the saintly Barak Obama, this farce could go straight to Broadway.
All the characters are present. We have the Governor, Rod Blagojevich; boyish, feisty, and so thoroughly corrupt even Louisiana is holding it's nose. This guy was trolling eBay to make a bid on Rep. William Jefferson's ice box. You would think that, as the replacement for George Ryan (current residence, Federal Correctional Facility, Terre Haute, IN) Governor Rod would be a little more cautious about his conversations. The good news for the feds is that they didn't have to re-bug the Governors Mansion. The devices were already in place.
Few Americans were shocked at the news that another politician was discovered trying to cash in on his office. What was shocking was the string of four-letter words that Blagojevich used to punctuate his corruption. I mean, really. It was bad enough when Bill Clinton made blow jobs dining room conversation but we now have children asking their parents "What does it mean when something is f**king golden?" We have clearly reached a new low in government when the biggest news story of the day is rated NC-17.
Our cast also includes the Midwest's own Lady Macbeth, Patty Blagojevich. Her evil influence is everywhere, including the pages of the 76-page federal criminal complaint. Among her contributions was the suggestion that she would be qualified to fill the Obama senate seat due to her experience in real estate. That experience included a $700,000 payday courtesy of the now famous Tony Rezko. (Rezko currently resides at the Chicago Metropolitan Correctional Center.) Mrs. Blagojevich has the charm of the Wicked Witch of the West without the good looks. She can be heard quite clearly on the wiretaps, kibitzing about how to squeeze the privates of reluctant co-conspirators.
Rounding out the cast of villains is the Defense Attorney, Ed Gensen. Cursed with a client whose sympathy quotient approximates Dick Cheney, Mr. Gensen will attempt to create more smoke than a California wild fire. He contends that the wire taps are illegal, the case has no foundation and, that just talking about selling senate seats as though they were Bears' tickets isn't against the law. Gensen's problem will be to determine whether to fight the impeachment process boiling in the Illinois legislature or, attack the criminal prosecution. Considering the impressive success of the prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald, Mr. Gensen's best course of action would be to take a plea in return for a cell with a view of a corn field.
Face it. Illinois politics is the best.
All the characters are present. We have the Governor, Rod Blagojevich; boyish, feisty, and so thoroughly corrupt even Louisiana is holding it's nose. This guy was trolling eBay to make a bid on Rep. William Jefferson's ice box. You would think that, as the replacement for George Ryan (current residence, Federal Correctional Facility, Terre Haute, IN) Governor Rod would be a little more cautious about his conversations. The good news for the feds is that they didn't have to re-bug the Governors Mansion. The devices were already in place.
Few Americans were shocked at the news that another politician was discovered trying to cash in on his office. What was shocking was the string of four-letter words that Blagojevich used to punctuate his corruption. I mean, really. It was bad enough when Bill Clinton made blow jobs dining room conversation but we now have children asking their parents "What does it mean when something is f**king golden?" We have clearly reached a new low in government when the biggest news story of the day is rated NC-17.
Our cast also includes the Midwest's own Lady Macbeth, Patty Blagojevich. Her evil influence is everywhere, including the pages of the 76-page federal criminal complaint. Among her contributions was the suggestion that she would be qualified to fill the Obama senate seat due to her experience in real estate. That experience included a $700,000 payday courtesy of the now famous Tony Rezko. (Rezko currently resides at the Chicago Metropolitan Correctional Center.) Mrs. Blagojevich has the charm of the Wicked Witch of the West without the good looks. She can be heard quite clearly on the wiretaps, kibitzing about how to squeeze the privates of reluctant co-conspirators.
Rounding out the cast of villains is the Defense Attorney, Ed Gensen. Cursed with a client whose sympathy quotient approximates Dick Cheney, Mr. Gensen will attempt to create more smoke than a California wild fire. He contends that the wire taps are illegal, the case has no foundation and, that just talking about selling senate seats as though they were Bears' tickets isn't against the law. Gensen's problem will be to determine whether to fight the impeachment process boiling in the Illinois legislature or, attack the criminal prosecution. Considering the impressive success of the prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald, Mr. Gensen's best course of action would be to take a plea in return for a cell with a view of a corn field.
Face it. Illinois politics is the best.
Friday, November 21, 2008
...or is GWB the poster boy for the twenty second amendment?
Item
If ever there were a reason to limit a President to two terms, George W. Bush is that reason. In case you missed it, Bush 43 is gutting the Endangered Species Act by eliminating the requirement that scientists at two federal agencies review the effects that federal projects have on imperiled plants and animals. Specifically, climate change cannot be a factor for consideration when approving any federal project. Perfect! The parting shot from the most cynical, uncaring, and dismally failed presidency in history, will be to help rid the planet of endangered plants and wild life. Jesus, George! Why don't you just pardon a few of the felons in your own administration and be done with it?
Didn't the White House get the message when the entire Republican party ran screaming away from their titular head? Didn't you notice that book publishers who wouldn't pay five cents for your life story were sending six million to the Governor of Alaska? Ouch! I guess when you're already a pariah it hardly matters what harm you inflict on the way out.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
And on the subject of "The Life and Times of Sarah Palin", could someone please tell me what would compel anyone with an IQ over two digits to put aside "Pride and Prejudice" or "Cold Mountain" to dive into the life of Madam Up-do?
In general, autobiographies of living celebrities have always left me wondering. I mean, whose story is so compelling that it's worth 300 or so pages? Nelson Mandela maybe. Or Katherine Graham. Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx's was the best. Possibly even John McCain, but he's 73 and spent several years in the almost-future-presidential suite at the Hanoi Holiday Inn. Most autobiographies are filled with "why I'm so misunderstood" and "how I overcame adversity to become the person you all love and admire". Boring! Anyone who buys a book supposedly written by Sarah Palin should be denied the right to vote...forever. (Unless the book comes with a $50 gift certificate from Neiman's.)
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Back to George.
President six-guns has just signed an executive order approving the execution of the first soldier
killed by the federal government since 1961. Pvt. Ronald Gray stands convicted of multiple offenses including two murders so we won't be holding any prayer vigils for this creep any time soon. The issue isn't whether Pvt. Gray has worn out his welcome here on earth. George W. Bush has left a trail of corpses from Austin to Washington to Baghdad. He has gotten 4,100 U.S. soldiers and marines killed, suborned the execution of Saddam Hussein and is responsible for every death at Guantanamo. The Bush government has adopted a cavalier attitude regarding the taking of human life that makes a mockery of his stand on abortion. In the world according to George Bush, you're a lot safer as a fetus than a soldier or a Muslim.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
And just in case you thought we missed it, our friends in the Roman Catholic Church are at it again. The Reverend Jay Scott Newman of Columbia, South Carolina (no surprise there) has decreed that Catholics who voted for Barak Obama should not receive communion at the risk of imperiling their immortal souls. In that President-elect Obama (I love writing that) is a supporter of a woman's right to chose, anyone sinful enough to vote for him is in league with the devil.
Oddly enough, no such dire pronouncement was issued to Fatrher Jay's parishioners at St. Mary's in Greenville if they voted for John McCain, who is a proponent of capital punishment. Pope Benedict XVI has condemned state-sponsored executions as nothing more than legalized murder. So why the double standard? Ask Father Newman. He has apparently discerned a pecking order for what killings Catholics can condone and which ones are forbidden. Why was Father Newman silent when his senators and congressmen voted to send soldiers to kill Muslims in an unprovoked war in Iraq?
Still, you have to admire the power of a priest who can look into the hearts of his parishioners and determine who has sinned. My understanding is that such vision is above his pay grade.
If ever there were a reason to limit a President to two terms, George W. Bush is that reason. In case you missed it, Bush 43 is gutting the Endangered Species Act by eliminating the requirement that scientists at two federal agencies review the effects that federal projects have on imperiled plants and animals. Specifically, climate change cannot be a factor for consideration when approving any federal project. Perfect! The parting shot from the most cynical, uncaring, and dismally failed presidency in history, will be to help rid the planet of endangered plants and wild life. Jesus, George! Why don't you just pardon a few of the felons in your own administration and be done with it?
Didn't the White House get the message when the entire Republican party ran screaming away from their titular head? Didn't you notice that book publishers who wouldn't pay five cents for your life story were sending six million to the Governor of Alaska? Ouch! I guess when you're already a pariah it hardly matters what harm you inflict on the way out.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
And on the subject of "The Life and Times of Sarah Palin", could someone please tell me what would compel anyone with an IQ over two digits to put aside "Pride and Prejudice" or "Cold Mountain" to dive into the life of Madam Up-do?
In general, autobiographies of living celebrities have always left me wondering. I mean, whose story is so compelling that it's worth 300 or so pages? Nelson Mandela maybe. Or Katherine Graham. Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx's was the best. Possibly even John McCain, but he's 73 and spent several years in the almost-future-presidential suite at the Hanoi Holiday Inn. Most autobiographies are filled with "why I'm so misunderstood" and "how I overcame adversity to become the person you all love and admire". Boring! Anyone who buys a book supposedly written by Sarah Palin should be denied the right to vote...forever. (Unless the book comes with a $50 gift certificate from Neiman's.)
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Back to George.
President six-guns has just signed an executive order approving the execution of the first soldier
killed by the federal government since 1961. Pvt. Ronald Gray stands convicted of multiple offenses including two murders so we won't be holding any prayer vigils for this creep any time soon. The issue isn't whether Pvt. Gray has worn out his welcome here on earth. George W. Bush has left a trail of corpses from Austin to Washington to Baghdad. He has gotten 4,100 U.S. soldiers and marines killed, suborned the execution of Saddam Hussein and is responsible for every death at Guantanamo. The Bush government has adopted a cavalier attitude regarding the taking of human life that makes a mockery of his stand on abortion. In the world according to George Bush, you're a lot safer as a fetus than a soldier or a Muslim.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
And just in case you thought we missed it, our friends in the Roman Catholic Church are at it again. The Reverend Jay Scott Newman of Columbia, South Carolina (no surprise there) has decreed that Catholics who voted for Barak Obama should not receive communion at the risk of imperiling their immortal souls. In that President-elect Obama (I love writing that) is a supporter of a woman's right to chose, anyone sinful enough to vote for him is in league with the devil.
Oddly enough, no such dire pronouncement was issued to Fatrher Jay's parishioners at St. Mary's in Greenville if they voted for John McCain, who is a proponent of capital punishment. Pope Benedict XVI has condemned state-sponsored executions as nothing more than legalized murder. So why the double standard? Ask Father Newman. He has apparently discerned a pecking order for what killings Catholics can condone and which ones are forbidden. Why was Father Newman silent when his senators and congressmen voted to send soldiers to kill Muslims in an unprovoked war in Iraq?
Still, you have to admire the power of a priest who can look into the hearts of his parishioners and determine who has sinned. My understanding is that such vision is above his pay grade.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
...or is the sun shining a little brighter this morning?
WOW!
This was a big deal. I mean, you expect the Democrats to carry the coasts. You assume that most of New England is blue. But North Carolina? Indiana? Iowa? 46% in Georgia? 45% in South Carolina? Even in McCain's own state, Omaba managed 45%. Democrats are dancing through these numbers barefoot. (Black Americans are probably waiting for the news that some mistake was made and McCain actually won. They won't believe the results even if they get to watch the inauguration from the podium.)
John McCain is a nice man but you can't swim very far with an anvil under each arm. George W. Bush and Sarah Palin stood in contrast to every positive argument that McCain attempted to make. How do you persuade America that you are something different when you look like more of the same? How can you make the case as a sound decision-maker when your decision-making process produces Simple Sarah? (Jesus, have we had enough of her? You can keep the clothes honey, just go home.)
It's interesting that a Presidential election should be so much about vice presidents. If Dick Cheney hadn't been running the country for the last eight years, McCain might have been able to use GWB for something besides a political leper. If John McCain had used something beside a dart board to pick a running mate, he wouldn't have looked so stupid telling everyone how experienced Sarah was. (Hint to future presidential hopefuls: if you have to apologize for your VP choice, you made the wrong choice.) Any positive effect that McCain might have received from choosing a woman was instantly negated by the fact that Sarah Palin was on the wrong side of every woman's issue. McCain might as well have chosen Clarence Thomas hoping for a few black votes.
The Republicans do have a few bright spots in this otherwise dismal picture. They never have to hear about Joe the friggin plumber ever again. They will be able to use a smaller room in the Senate for caucuses. They can bid a fond farewell to both the Bush and Dole families. Mostly, they can stop being embarrassed at the colossal ineptitude of Sarah Palin. Explaining this woman to America was like explaining to your new girlfriend why your crazy uncle Charlie keeps trying to take his pants off over his head at Thanksgiving dinner.
Meanwhile back at the White House, as Democrats, we are sensitive souls and might therefore be tempted to shed a tear for poor lonesome George. Hell, even his movie is a stinker. There he sits on the curb in front of 1600 watching the Obama bandwagon roll past. Well, before you mail that sympathy card to the White House, remember the 4,190 American service men and women that didn't get to vote because George W. Bush sent them to die in a needless war. Remember Donald Rumsfeld who sent insufficiently prepared and insufficiently provisioned troops into Iraq with an unwarranted arrogance and a contempt for any counsel save his own. Remember the Justice Department that was purged of justice by Alberto Gonzales. Remember Gail Norton's systematic attempt to shred every environmental safeguard while at the Department of the Interior. Remember a President who for six of his eight years had both houses of Congress under his party's control and accomplished exactly nothing....unless you count a shattered foreign policy and a crippled economy. George, you can't be gone soon enough. It's a wonder that Canada hasn't annexed America out of sheer pity.
But that was yesterday. Today the birds are singing, all the stoplights are green and even rice cakes taste like fillet. The country has made a bold if scary move away from a dark time. We have come out of hiding. Personally, I haven't felt this good about my country in a long time. I will, however send that sympathy card to the White House. Not to the current resident however, but to the cleaning crew. They still have to figure out a way to get the sulfur smell out of Karl Rove's old office.
This was a big deal. I mean, you expect the Democrats to carry the coasts. You assume that most of New England is blue. But North Carolina? Indiana? Iowa? 46% in Georgia? 45% in South Carolina? Even in McCain's own state, Omaba managed 45%. Democrats are dancing through these numbers barefoot. (Black Americans are probably waiting for the news that some mistake was made and McCain actually won. They won't believe the results even if they get to watch the inauguration from the podium.)
John McCain is a nice man but you can't swim very far with an anvil under each arm. George W. Bush and Sarah Palin stood in contrast to every positive argument that McCain attempted to make. How do you persuade America that you are something different when you look like more of the same? How can you make the case as a sound decision-maker when your decision-making process produces Simple Sarah? (Jesus, have we had enough of her? You can keep the clothes honey, just go home.)
It's interesting that a Presidential election should be so much about vice presidents. If Dick Cheney hadn't been running the country for the last eight years, McCain might have been able to use GWB for something besides a political leper. If John McCain had used something beside a dart board to pick a running mate, he wouldn't have looked so stupid telling everyone how experienced Sarah was. (Hint to future presidential hopefuls: if you have to apologize for your VP choice, you made the wrong choice.) Any positive effect that McCain might have received from choosing a woman was instantly negated by the fact that Sarah Palin was on the wrong side of every woman's issue. McCain might as well have chosen Clarence Thomas hoping for a few black votes.
The Republicans do have a few bright spots in this otherwise dismal picture. They never have to hear about Joe the friggin plumber ever again. They will be able to use a smaller room in the Senate for caucuses. They can bid a fond farewell to both the Bush and Dole families. Mostly, they can stop being embarrassed at the colossal ineptitude of Sarah Palin. Explaining this woman to America was like explaining to your new girlfriend why your crazy uncle Charlie keeps trying to take his pants off over his head at Thanksgiving dinner.
Meanwhile back at the White House, as Democrats, we are sensitive souls and might therefore be tempted to shed a tear for poor lonesome George. Hell, even his movie is a stinker. There he sits on the curb in front of 1600 watching the Obama bandwagon roll past. Well, before you mail that sympathy card to the White House, remember the 4,190 American service men and women that didn't get to vote because George W. Bush sent them to die in a needless war. Remember Donald Rumsfeld who sent insufficiently prepared and insufficiently provisioned troops into Iraq with an unwarranted arrogance and a contempt for any counsel save his own. Remember the Justice Department that was purged of justice by Alberto Gonzales. Remember Gail Norton's systematic attempt to shred every environmental safeguard while at the Department of the Interior. Remember a President who for six of his eight years had both houses of Congress under his party's control and accomplished exactly nothing....unless you count a shattered foreign policy and a crippled economy. George, you can't be gone soon enough. It's a wonder that Canada hasn't annexed America out of sheer pity.
But that was yesterday. Today the birds are singing, all the stoplights are green and even rice cakes taste like fillet. The country has made a bold if scary move away from a dark time. We have come out of hiding. Personally, I haven't felt this good about my country in a long time. I will, however send that sympathy card to the White House. Not to the current resident however, but to the cleaning crew. They still have to figure out a way to get the sulfur smell out of Karl Rove's old office.
Friday, October 31, 2008
...or is the Bush administration trying to sweep the Chutzpah Awards for 2008?
Things that were going on while you were watching the Obama miracle:
Item
No longer interested in governing America from the Book of Scripture, President GW Bush is now running things according to the Book of Orwell. In a decision bordering on the comic, the U.S. Justice Dept. (aka Dept. of Irony) has prosecuted a fellow named Charles "Charlie" Taylor, Jr. on a charge of participating in torture.
About time, you say. The fiends that waterboarded suspected terrorists in Syria and Saudi Arabia should be made to answer for their crimes. Well, not so fast boys and girls. Mr. Taylor isn't being prosecuted for using thumb screws on Muslims. He is being called to account for crimes against the citizenry of Liberia while his father Charles Taylor Sr. was the dictator in residence. Taylor Jr. is a U.S. citizen and, amazingly enough, there is a law that allows the U.S. to prosecute Americans who torture people in other countries. (Dick Cheney might wish to consider retiring to that "undisclosed location" that he cowered in during 9-11.)
Naturally, America is on the side of the angels here. No one will rush to the defense of this creep. Between 1997 and 2003, Taylors pere and fils killed and tortured thousands of helpless citizens. In a part of the world famous for insane governmental behavior, the Taylor family makes the all star team. Nevertheless, the trial of Charles Taylor Jr. in the United States has the patina of stone-tossing in a house of glass.
The Bush Administration has used the Rendition Program as a smoke screen to torture suspected evil-doers in countries from Egypt to Indonesia. We can assume that "torture with a really good reason" will be the defense of choice in America should we decide to apply the law to senior associates of the CIA and NSA. However, as they say during those waterboarding sessions, don't hold your breath.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
President George W. Bush is apparently not satisfied with approval ratings in the teens. During his last few days in office (73 and counting) he seems determined to achieve the unachievable...single digit status. By the time he gets to Christmas, even the GPS device in his car will indicate that the country is headed in the wrong direction.
Our CinC is attempting to enact a wide array of federal regulations aimed at weakening consumer and environmental protection. The new laws would make it easier to overfish the oceans, pollute the atmosphere, increase the toxins in drinking water and blow the tops off mountains. This is the guy who supposedly had seen the light on global warning. The White House, in the person of Tony Fratto, calls the proposals "well reasoned". Sure! Assuming that your reason is to rape the environment and ensure that America continued its role as the Great Polluter. The country would be much better off if, like his predecessors, GWB just pardoned a few crooks and looted a few towels from the Oval Office toilet.
____________________________________________________________________________________
And speaking of toilets...
Item
But the news isn't all bad for our departing President (Did I mention 73 days and counting?). Voters in San Francisco on Tuesday overwhelmingly defeated an effort to rename the local sewage treatment plant after Mr. Bush. Apparently even the citizens of the Peoples Republic of San Francisco were put off by the ad featuring a photo of the President and the slogan "Let's help put the number one guy on the number two building". Now that's poetry.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Honorable mention for the Chutzpah award:
An aide to New York Governor David Patterson is blaming a $300,000 unpaid tax bill (his, not the Gov's) on a rare medical condition called late-filing syndrome. Apparently the patient, one Charles O'Byrne, is psychologically incapable of filling his tax returns on the 15th of April. And you thought "the dog ate my tax return" was weak. I am certain that the Internal Revenue Service will give this ailment all the consideration it deserves. Hint to Mr. O'Byrne: when you present your file from the Mayo Clinic attesting to your disease, attach a check for $300,000 just to be safe.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
No longer interested in governing America from the Book of Scripture, President GW Bush is now running things according to the Book of Orwell. In a decision bordering on the comic, the U.S. Justice Dept. (aka Dept. of Irony) has prosecuted a fellow named Charles "Charlie" Taylor, Jr. on a charge of participating in torture.
About time, you say. The fiends that waterboarded suspected terrorists in Syria and Saudi Arabia should be made to answer for their crimes. Well, not so fast boys and girls. Mr. Taylor isn't being prosecuted for using thumb screws on Muslims. He is being called to account for crimes against the citizenry of Liberia while his father Charles Taylor Sr. was the dictator in residence. Taylor Jr. is a U.S. citizen and, amazingly enough, there is a law that allows the U.S. to prosecute Americans who torture people in other countries. (Dick Cheney might wish to consider retiring to that "undisclosed location" that he cowered in during 9-11.)
Naturally, America is on the side of the angels here. No one will rush to the defense of this creep. Between 1997 and 2003, Taylors pere and fils killed and tortured thousands of helpless citizens. In a part of the world famous for insane governmental behavior, the Taylor family makes the all star team. Nevertheless, the trial of Charles Taylor Jr. in the United States has the patina of stone-tossing in a house of glass.
The Bush Administration has used the Rendition Program as a smoke screen to torture suspected evil-doers in countries from Egypt to Indonesia. We can assume that "torture with a really good reason" will be the defense of choice in America should we decide to apply the law to senior associates of the CIA and NSA. However, as they say during those waterboarding sessions, don't hold your breath.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
President George W. Bush is apparently not satisfied with approval ratings in the teens. During his last few days in office (73 and counting) he seems determined to achieve the unachievable...single digit status. By the time he gets to Christmas, even the GPS device in his car will indicate that the country is headed in the wrong direction.
Our CinC is attempting to enact a wide array of federal regulations aimed at weakening consumer and environmental protection. The new laws would make it easier to overfish the oceans, pollute the atmosphere, increase the toxins in drinking water and blow the tops off mountains. This is the guy who supposedly had seen the light on global warning. The White House, in the person of Tony Fratto, calls the proposals "well reasoned". Sure! Assuming that your reason is to rape the environment and ensure that America continued its role as the Great Polluter. The country would be much better off if, like his predecessors, GWB just pardoned a few crooks and looted a few towels from the Oval Office toilet.
____________________________________________________________________________________
And speaking of toilets...
Item
But the news isn't all bad for our departing President (Did I mention 73 days and counting?). Voters in San Francisco on Tuesday overwhelmingly defeated an effort to rename the local sewage treatment plant after Mr. Bush. Apparently even the citizens of the Peoples Republic of San Francisco were put off by the ad featuring a photo of the President and the slogan "Let's help put the number one guy on the number two building". Now that's poetry.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Honorable mention for the Chutzpah award:
An aide to New York Governor David Patterson is blaming a $300,000 unpaid tax bill (his, not the Gov's) on a rare medical condition called late-filing syndrome. Apparently the patient, one Charles O'Byrne, is psychologically incapable of filling his tax returns on the 15th of April. And you thought "the dog ate my tax return" was weak. I am certain that the Internal Revenue Service will give this ailment all the consideration it deserves. Hint to Mr. O'Byrne: when you present your file from the Mayo Clinic attesting to your disease, attach a check for $300,000 just to be safe.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
And lest we forget, two MENSA candidates were arrested in Tennessee and charged with plotting to kill a bunch of black people including President-elect Barak Obama. The police were appaerntly put wise because the car they were driving was painted with swastikas. These sterling citizens, Paul Schlesselman of Arkansas and Daniel Cowart of Tennessee (why are these guys never from Boston or Milwaukee?) are being held without bond in a Memphis dungeon. They have pled not guilty to the conspiracy charges. If there's any justice in the world, these two geniuses will be sentenced to a lifetime of watching PBS and reruns of The Cosby Show.
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