...or is kicking a man when he's down really the only time to do it?

Thoughts at the close of 2008 Volume I:

We would all be delighted to allow George W. Bush to slink off the stage and forever be consigned to the obscurity he so richly deserves. Think Nixon at the helicopter door. Unfortunately, a few remaining Bush apologists who still have access to the media (and who don't have tell-all books headed for publication) are determined to keep Curious George in the papers, if not in the headlines.

Most vocal thus far is Condoleezza Rice. Having been one of the architects of the Bush Doctrine (Don't feel bad, Sarah. I didn't know it had a name either.) Secretary Rice can be forgiven for applying a little grease paint to her foreign policy porker. In several interviews granted last week, she expresses no remorse for the senseless deaths in Iraq. She is confident that history will vindicate both her and her boss. Patriotism may be the last refuge of scoundrels but history is surely the last refuge of bone-headed policy-makers. Secretary Rice has also postulated that, thanks to the efforts of GWB, the Middle East is in much better shape than eight years ago. I suspect the cheering crowds in Jerusalem and Amman are being drowned out by the falling bombs and rockets in Gaza.

The entire eight years of Bush foreign policy can be written in one word: Iraq. History may ultimately see the invasion of a sovereign nation as a bold stroke with glorious results. Sadly, the 4,219 Americans and 50,000 Iraqis killed since 2003 won't be around to read about it.

But Condi is not alone in her praise for the outgoing CIC. Not content to pack up the trailer and return to Texas, Laura Bush has decided to break eight years of silence in defense of her much-maligned hubby. Naturally, the venue of choice was Fox News. Mrs. Bush arrived with the usual wagon-load of excuses as to why her husband is held in the same high regard as O.J. Simpson and Rod Blagojevich. She blames, who else? The media.

It was the news coverage of Katrina that made Clueless George look a buffoon, not the complete ineptitude of FEMA. After all only 1,800 people died in the storm and it's aftermath, not the 10,000 originally reported. It was those liberal reporters and photographers that kept showing all that human suffering rather than focusing on John McCain's birthday party...like the Commander in Chief did. Laura, sweetheart, stop talking! We liked you much better when we thought you were a cardboard cutout.

And last and least is Karl "with enough money and dirty tricks I could get a pound of headcheese elected president...and did" Rove. Thanks to his weekly gig in The Wall Street Journal, Rove continues to justify and excuse the bag of hammers that became Bush 43.

This week Karl was busy praising GWB as an avid reader. According to Rove, George polished off 95 books in 2006 alone. The President's reading list runs mostly to biographies and history. Tragically, a few titles missing from the list include, "Waging War For Dummies", "Chicken Soup For the Families of 4,219 Fallen Americans", and "Everything I Needed To Know To Be President I Learned From Don Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney". I wonder if the list from 2001 included "The Pet Goat".

Rove is the worst kind of apologist. As a modern day Rasputin he stood in the shadows, always careful not to soil his hands. It's unlikely that any subpoena will ever bear his name. Colin Powell will be remembered as the Secretary of State who lied before the entire United Nations. Rumsfeld will be forever blamed for the conduct of the Iraq War. However, none of the Bush failures, and they are legion, will land at the feet of Karl Rove. We can only hope that, without a power base as a threat, Rove's band of trolls will turn on him. There are plenty of publishers out there just itching to print the dirt. The book will be called "If He Did It, The Sequel".

...is the election process eating up all your brain cells?

Other things in the news...

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Fear not, America. Things are going beautifully in Afghanistan, especially if you are a crazy-ass radical Muslim. For one thing, agriculture is booming. Afghan farmers are filling their barns with everyone's favorite crop...poppies. The beneficiary of this farming bonanza is, naturally enough, our friends the Taliban. Apparently the Koran prohibits the personal use of drugs, but it's OK to sell poppies to Italy and Turkey. What they do with the stuff is their business. Things are so good that Mullah Omar is thinking of listing the Taliban on the New York Stock Exchange using the stock symbol "H".

All this prosperity will certainly have a positive effect on the end users. The price of smack in New York will become one of the few bargains in Manhattan. Junkies will now only need to mug half as many citizens on the streets in order to feed their habit. Rudy Giuliani is already taking the credit.

All of this good news has prompted Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to participate in a Marion Barry moment. (It was former Mayor Barry who said, "If it weren't for all the murders in D.C., crime would be down.")

Secretary Rice was so eager to praise American success in Afghanistan that she completely ignored the pending execution of Sayed Parwiz Kambakhsh. Mr. Kambakhsh is a journalist and student who apparently printed an article off the internet criticizing the Koran for its treatment of women. In "the new, progressive" Afghanistan this crime will get you a trip to the gallows without the messiness of a trial. America's favorite Afghan President, Hamid Karzai won't touch this with a ten-foot hookah. Civil law in Afghanistan cannot contravene Islamic law and Mr. Karzai's hold on power is shaky at best. One blast from the mullahs and he's back in the rug business.

It is east to see why this administration is pointing to Afghanistan as proof of American success in the Middle East. Agriculture is booming, exports are at an all-time high, faith-based programs are succeeding (even if the faith is Islam) and the government is stable (so long as it remains inert). One can only wonder why other countries in the region aren't lining up for a slice of this.



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In other Middle Eastern news, a court in Iran has sentenced a 22 year old man to death for drinking. (In Texas, drinking is about the only thing that won't get you executed.) It seems that one of the delightful nuances of Islamic law is that, if you are caught drinking four times, hopefully not in the same night, you can be put to death (insert your own Brittany Spears/Kiefer Sutherland joke here). That's a bit harsh! If you're wondering why the immigration from Ireland to Iran is off a bit, look no further.

It's this sort of wacky jurisprudence that makes it easy to see why so many people around the world have embraced Islam. Who wouldn't want to join a gang of kooky guys that abuse women, cut people's heads off for the smallest offense and strap explosives to themselves for grins? It's like the Knights of Columbus only with sharper swords.