Rule #1 Button your jacket.
Bobby "don't call me Piyush" Jindal, Republican Governor of Louisiana, was accorded the dubious honor last night of following America's rock star President. This was the entertainment equivalent of Joaquin Phoenix following Chris Rock. Immediately after President Obama's tour-de-force presentation in front of a joint session of Congress, Governor Buzzkill was required to explain in ten minutes or less why: a) Obama's way forward is all wet, and b) why obstructing the President at every turn is a formula for success and prosperity. This would have been a tall order for an orator with skills. For Governor Jindal it was a public service announcement after the Super Bowl.
Governor Jindal is a smart guy. Having rejected Yale Law and Harvard Medical, he received a Masters in Political Science from Oxford. Rhodes Scholars rarely find their way into the ranks of Louisiana Politicians. The State that gave America Huey Long, Governor Edwin Edwards (currently a guest of the State) and David Duke former State Representative and grand wizard of the KKK, is justifiably proud when one of their own isn't introduced to America doing the perp walk. Louisiana politicians generally arrive in the national spotlight via either federal custody or pending witness protection.
This Governor is a contradiction at every turn. Having been raised a Hindu, he converted to Catholicism in high school. Thus, he can now eat burgers on six of the seven days of the week. His intelligence makes him stand out among Republicans even more than his complexion. (Standing with the Senate Republican Caucus, they look like the road company of Gunga Din.) He is referred to in political circles as a policy wonk, which apparently means that he actually reads most of the legislation he signs. This trait would have caused considerable snickering in the Bush White House where Cliff Notes were all the rage.
Sending Governor Jindal to rebut the President's plan was almost cruel. Bobby may be many things but a speechafier isn't one. He might as well have been a commentator for Canadian TV. As a rule of thumb, your spokesman's tie shouldn't make a flashier statement than he does. Watching Bobby Jindal attempt a justification for inaction, I was reminded of another Rhodes Scholar turned politician, Bill Bradley. Although a Democrat, Bradley shared many of the same traits evidenced by Governor Jindal. Both are extremely intelligent. (Jindal's light shines brighter amid the dim bulbs of his fellows.) Both had a love for the details of politics and legislation. Sadly, as communicators both men were about as exciting as the robe closet at the Supreme Court.
Because the attention span of the American voter runs to nano-seconds, politicans need to grab and hold their audiences long enough to jam a fact or two in their ears. Bradley, while gifted, was the national cure for insomnia. We wish Governor Jindal better luck. He does have one thing going for him. He has, thus far, never been photographed holding up a number. No mean feat for a son of Louisiana.
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