Yes, yes I know it's been a while since the ethernet has crackled with the insights of isitjustme but, after all, if you can't be funnier than the truth, you need to shut up. How is a poor, second rate observer supposed to compete with the details oozing from Springfield, Illinois? This is the first reality TV show that's got any entertainment value. "Survivor, Springfield" "Complete Combover, Home Edition" "Are You Smarter Than the Governor of Illinois?" Were it not for the potential damage to the reputation of the saintly Barak Obama, this farce could go straight to Broadway.
All the characters are present. We have the Governor, Rod Blagojevich; boyish, feisty, and so thoroughly corrupt even Louisiana is holding it's nose. This guy was trolling eBay to make a bid on Rep. William Jefferson's ice box. You would think that, as the replacement for George Ryan (current residence, Federal Correctional Facility, Terre Haute, IN) Governor Rod would be a little more cautious about his conversations. The good news for the feds is that they didn't have to re-bug the Governors Mansion. The devices were already in place.
Few Americans were shocked at the news that another politician was discovered trying to cash in on his office. What was shocking was the string of four-letter words that Blagojevich used to punctuate his corruption. I mean, really. It was bad enough when Bill Clinton made blow jobs dining room conversation but we now have children asking their parents "What does it mean when something is f**king golden?" We have clearly reached a new low in government when the biggest news story of the day is rated NC-17.
Our cast also includes the Midwest's own Lady Macbeth, Patty Blagojevich. Her evil influence is everywhere, including the pages of the 76-page federal criminal complaint. Among her contributions was the suggestion that she would be qualified to fill the Obama senate seat due to her experience in real estate. That experience included a $700,000 payday courtesy of the now famous Tony Rezko. (Rezko currently resides at the Chicago Metropolitan Correctional Center.) Mrs. Blagojevich has the charm of the Wicked Witch of the West without the good looks. She can be heard quite clearly on the wiretaps, kibitzing about how to squeeze the privates of reluctant co-conspirators.
Rounding out the cast of villains is the Defense Attorney, Ed Gensen. Cursed with a client whose sympathy quotient approximates Dick Cheney, Mr. Gensen will attempt to create more smoke than a California wild fire. He contends that the wire taps are illegal, the case has no foundation and, that just talking about selling senate seats as though they were Bears' tickets isn't against the law. Gensen's problem will be to determine whether to fight the impeachment process boiling in the Illinois legislature or, attack the criminal prosecution. Considering the impressive success of the prosecutor, Patrick Fitzgerald, Mr. Gensen's best course of action would be to take a plea in return for a cell with a view of a corn field.
Face it. Illinois politics is the best.
No comments:
Post a Comment