"Every time I try to get out, they pull me back in." I know exactly how Michael Corleone feels. Each new article about how the Catholic Church is reinvigorating its efforts to get past the sexual abuse scandals reminds me that we have heard it all before. Whether the newest revelation occurs in Germany, France, the U.S. or Belgium the plot remains the same. Some Cardinal is forced into a public statement regarding new details of abuse by the priests in his diocese. The prelate is, of course, dismayed (he can hardly be shocked). New safeguards are promised, new apologies are made,victims are consoled. No one thinks it ironic that the consolation comes from the same source as the abuse.
The Vatican has depleted its supply of sackcloth and ashes. All the hair shirts have been distributed. We all know how very sorry you are. Tragically however the remedies remain half hearted and still smell of an incense-ladened cover-up. The Catholic Church in the person of his Holliless the Pope is still praying night and day that this sorry mess just goes away. Praying is all they have left. Blaming the media didn't work. Painting the Church in America as an isolated cauldron of sin failed miserably as Germany, Ireland and now Belgium exploded in the press. The clerical spin-doctors in Rome have blamed everyone short of Pontius Pilate for the consistent, pervasive, systemic patterns of sexual abuse inside the Roman Catholic Church. The time for blame is over. Fix it.
There is only one way to get passed this tragedy: call the cops. The Church in Rome has continually dodged the simple remedy of treating their abusive priests as the criminals they are. The Church wants to protect them as though the transgression was akin to stealing from the poor box or being drunk during Mass. The Holy See has attempted to enforce a statute of limitations on older cases hoping to leave adult victims without remedy. If Catholicism ever expects to restore any shred of moral superiority to its institutions, they must prosecute each and every verifiable case of abuse. Period. Anything less makes a mockery of the entire concept of organized religion.
No one should care if Rome continues to refuse ordination to married men or to women. If the Vatican wishes to see itself become extinct while clinging to out-moded traditions, so what? There is no shortage of churches to absorb the faithful. God will still be God. However, Rome must clean house. Any priest found guilty of abusing a child must be defrocked immediately and publicly. The time for "handling these things "in-house" has passed.Think Spanish Inquisition only without the rack.
By the way, just to show that Pope Benedict XVI hasn't lost his comic touch, attend the tale of his recent trip to the UK. While touring in England the Pope announced the beatification of Cardinal John Henry Newman, a former Anglican priest and scholar who lived in the nineteenth century and converted to Catholicism. Cardinal Newman believed that the Church of England and the Church of Rome should reunite. Considering the thousands of Protestants barbecued during an earlier attempt at reunification this was not an especially popular notion. Also, Benedict had previously proclaimed that Popes should not participate in the beatification process. Apparently the Pope chose to break his own edict in order to poke a finger in the eye of the country in which he was a guest. Smooth.
Showing posts with label Pope Benedict XVI. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pope Benedict XVI. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, May 03, 2010
...or is a Church with too many secret societies bound to have too many secrets?
In what appears to be an earnest effort to (finally) get ahead of the sexual abuse scandal in his Church, Pope Benedict XVI is moving to clean up at least one aspect of ecclesiastic criminal conduct. The Pope has ordered an investigation into the administration of a sub-sect in Catholicism called the Legion of Christ. Turns out that this nest of uber-Catholics was founded and led by Father Marcial Maciel Degollado, a Mexican bi-sexual priest with a string of offenses that would make a cartel druglord blush. His list of mortal sins includes: drug abuse, the wholesale plagiarism of a book, financial irregularities within his organization and, the ever popular, sex with both seminarians and female members of his flock. (For bonus points, he had a child by one of them.) On the plus side, he did give up sweets for Lent.
This little episode didn't surface recently amid global tales of clerical transgression. Father Macial's peccadillos have been under investigation since 1956. That's 54 years. Allowing for the glacial movement of the wheels of justice, this is the equivalent of holding the Nuremberg trials in 2002. If you're wondering what was holding up the show, look no further than the usual suspects. It seems that Father Macial had a friend in a very high place. Before Pope John Paul II went knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door, he spent twenty years defending this despicable felon. Apparently the ability to recruit priests (with the offer of candy and a ride in the pope-mobile) and his ability to raise money, trumped morality and obedience to one's vows. When an investigation was launched by the bishop of Mexico City, it was squelched by none other than Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger aka Benedict the sixteenth of that name. To be fair, there is a rumor afoot that the order to halt the investigation came directly from JPII. Little messy scandals like this are why a rush to sainthood for the former pope is such a bad idea.
Of greater concern to the Church should be the damage done to her already tattered reputation by the revelation of secret societies within the clergy and the laity. We aren't talking about religious orders of priests and nuns who operate in the open and whose good works are legion. However, super groups like Regnum Christi (a sub-sub set of Father Maciel's "Legion") and Opus Dei have amassed money and power behind closed doors. Rome has been thusfar unable to resist the lure of devout sub-groups with big money and backstage passes to the halls of influence. The RCC has been less tolerant of organizations like the Freemasons or the Oddfellows whose leadership Rome does not control.
The problem with anointing these over-the-top zealots is that, like all poor sinners, they have feet of clay. Revelations of financial misconduct or sexual dalliance among its leaders taint not just the group but Mother Church as well. Considering that Rome has spent 50 years attempting to perfume the smell coming from the Legion of Christ, it becomes difficult to plead ignorance.
Sadly, Benedict has not moved to disband the Legion. A symbiotic relationship stretching back through six pontificates is difficult to sever. Nevertheless it needs to happen. The Vatican must consult a dictionary for the meaning of "catholic". Mine says, "universal, involving all". This isn't Scientology. There aren't levels of devotion. There is no "my faith is stronger than your faith" test. If you're so inclined, become a priest or a nun or a deacon. Forget secret societies and secret handshakes. Nothing good ever comes of meetings held in the dark.
This little episode didn't surface recently amid global tales of clerical transgression. Father Macial's peccadillos have been under investigation since 1956. That's 54 years. Allowing for the glacial movement of the wheels of justice, this is the equivalent of holding the Nuremberg trials in 2002. If you're wondering what was holding up the show, look no further than the usual suspects. It seems that Father Macial had a friend in a very high place. Before Pope John Paul II went knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door, he spent twenty years defending this despicable felon. Apparently the ability to recruit priests (with the offer of candy and a ride in the pope-mobile) and his ability to raise money, trumped morality and obedience to one's vows. When an investigation was launched by the bishop of Mexico City, it was squelched by none other than Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger aka Benedict the sixteenth of that name. To be fair, there is a rumor afoot that the order to halt the investigation came directly from JPII. Little messy scandals like this are why a rush to sainthood for the former pope is such a bad idea.
Of greater concern to the Church should be the damage done to her already tattered reputation by the revelation of secret societies within the clergy and the laity. We aren't talking about religious orders of priests and nuns who operate in the open and whose good works are legion. However, super groups like Regnum Christi (a sub-sub set of Father Maciel's "Legion") and Opus Dei have amassed money and power behind closed doors. Rome has been thusfar unable to resist the lure of devout sub-groups with big money and backstage passes to the halls of influence. The RCC has been less tolerant of organizations like the Freemasons or the Oddfellows whose leadership Rome does not control.
The problem with anointing these over-the-top zealots is that, like all poor sinners, they have feet of clay. Revelations of financial misconduct or sexual dalliance among its leaders taint not just the group but Mother Church as well. Considering that Rome has spent 50 years attempting to perfume the smell coming from the Legion of Christ, it becomes difficult to plead ignorance.
Sadly, Benedict has not moved to disband the Legion. A symbiotic relationship stretching back through six pontificates is difficult to sever. Nevertheless it needs to happen. The Vatican must consult a dictionary for the meaning of "catholic". Mine says, "universal, involving all". This isn't Scientology. There aren't levels of devotion. There is no "my faith is stronger than your faith" test. If you're so inclined, become a priest or a nun or a deacon. Forget secret societies and secret handshakes. Nothing good ever comes of meetings held in the dark.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
...or will Benevict XVI soon discover how small a country Vatican City is when he tries to hide there?
Piling on would be pointless. When every newspaper and web site in America and Europe is carrying some version of the Catholic Church's abusive clergy scandal, there isn't much to add. Individual stories of atrocities and cover-ups will continue to ooze from all corners of the Christian world. Rome will continue to vacillate between apology and excuse. Victims will write books and Cardinals from here and there will offer explanations. Everyone is missing the point.
The most interesting and comprehensive attempt at justification was penned by Rev. James Martin, S.J. who divides his treatise equally between plausible ("bishops had no idea how widespread the problem was" or "bishops were uncomfortable confronting abusive priests") and ridiculous ("bishops under-appreciated the harm to the victims" and" it's too hard to defrock a priest"). He does however strike two issues that go to the heart of the matter: bishops feared litigation because of the bad press and, the Church did not want to give its enemies a club with which to beat it. How's that working out for you?
I'd carpel tunnel from listing the scandals that would have been minimized or forgotten if only the public figures involved had come clean at the outset. From Nixon to Clinton, from Heidi Fleiss to Tiger Woods the story is always the same: scandal strikes...the spin doctors converge to plan how to keep the story contained...reporters, smelling a cover-up, dig furiously...the cover-up unravels...the spin doctors are nowhere to be found...Jay Leno and Co. have a new punching bag for three months.
The Church in Rome is currently working overtime to 1) spread the blame, 2) avoid blame, 3) attack critics and 4) minimize the crime. In recent years the College of Cardinals has swelled to more than 120 members and one can surmise that most have been put to work in the PR Dept. The latest attempt to exonerate the former Archbishop of Munich/current Pope is to blame the guy who had the job before him, John Paul II. This stratagem has worked well, up to a point, for President Obama. The story is that Cardinal Ratzinger of Munich reported an abusive priest to Rome and Rome demurred. As to why the Cardinal allowed the priest to return to parish work (and abuse more kids) is a bit fuzzy. I guess the defense is "hey, I did my job..." This might hold water if you're working at the GM plant but, when you're the Vicar of Christ, we hold you to a higher standard.
The idea of blaming your dead predecessor is a tricky business. JP II is revered throughout Christendom. There is talk of fast-tracking him to sainthood. The faithful will surely take a dim view of besmirching John Paul to save the hide of a guilty German. The Church is already trailing in the PR wars. The Pope's polling numbers in America (yes Virginia, even the Pope has poll numbers) have slipped so far that you'd think he voted for the healthcare bill.
The "Catholic Church as Victim" strategy has loser written all over it. You are not the victim when priests who answer to you abuse children and you do nothing but suborn the abuse. You are not the victim when your cozy relationship with the government of Ireland caused the institutionalizing of torture, imprisonment and intolerable abuse for 100+ years. You are not the victim when self preservation and secrecy were preferred over concern for the children entrusted to your care. What you are is a self-perpetuating, self-serving ecclesiastical bureaucracy whose first thought in any crisis is self-protection.
Yes, the Catholic Church has enemies but none as dangerous as bishops who sweep every controversial issue under their very expensive carpet. If Rome doesn't start dealing with this issue openly and honestly, future generations will visit the Vatican with the same curiosity with which they visit Chichen Itza in Mexico; wondering what could have destroyed the culture that built such wonderful buildings.
The most interesting and comprehensive attempt at justification was penned by Rev. James Martin, S.J. who divides his treatise equally between plausible ("bishops had no idea how widespread the problem was" or "bishops were uncomfortable confronting abusive priests") and ridiculous ("bishops under-appreciated the harm to the victims" and" it's too hard to defrock a priest"). He does however strike two issues that go to the heart of the matter: bishops feared litigation because of the bad press and, the Church did not want to give its enemies a club with which to beat it. How's that working out for you?
I'd carpel tunnel from listing the scandals that would have been minimized or forgotten if only the public figures involved had come clean at the outset. From Nixon to Clinton, from Heidi Fleiss to Tiger Woods the story is always the same: scandal strikes...the spin doctors converge to plan how to keep the story contained...reporters, smelling a cover-up, dig furiously...the cover-up unravels...the spin doctors are nowhere to be found...Jay Leno and Co. have a new punching bag for three months.
The Church in Rome is currently working overtime to 1) spread the blame, 2) avoid blame, 3) attack critics and 4) minimize the crime. In recent years the College of Cardinals has swelled to more than 120 members and one can surmise that most have been put to work in the PR Dept. The latest attempt to exonerate the former Archbishop of Munich/current Pope is to blame the guy who had the job before him, John Paul II. This stratagem has worked well, up to a point, for President Obama. The story is that Cardinal Ratzinger of Munich reported an abusive priest to Rome and Rome demurred. As to why the Cardinal allowed the priest to return to parish work (and abuse more kids) is a bit fuzzy. I guess the defense is "hey, I did my job..." This might hold water if you're working at the GM plant but, when you're the Vicar of Christ, we hold you to a higher standard.
The idea of blaming your dead predecessor is a tricky business. JP II is revered throughout Christendom. There is talk of fast-tracking him to sainthood. The faithful will surely take a dim view of besmirching John Paul to save the hide of a guilty German. The Church is already trailing in the PR wars. The Pope's polling numbers in America (yes Virginia, even the Pope has poll numbers) have slipped so far that you'd think he voted for the healthcare bill.
The "Catholic Church as Victim" strategy has loser written all over it. You are not the victim when priests who answer to you abuse children and you do nothing but suborn the abuse. You are not the victim when your cozy relationship with the government of Ireland caused the institutionalizing of torture, imprisonment and intolerable abuse for 100+ years. You are not the victim when self preservation and secrecy were preferred over concern for the children entrusted to your care. What you are is a self-perpetuating, self-serving ecclesiastical bureaucracy whose first thought in any crisis is self-protection.
Yes, the Catholic Church has enemies but none as dangerous as bishops who sweep every controversial issue under their very expensive carpet. If Rome doesn't start dealing with this issue openly and honestly, future generations will visit the Vatican with the same curiosity with which they visit Chichen Itza in Mexico; wondering what could have destroyed the culture that built such wonderful buildings.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
...or is confession only good for the soul when it's someone else's soul?
In response to Catholics who have taken me to task for criticizing the Church in Rome, I have decided to reserve my abuse for times when the RCC or its leaders land in the news. Well hang on to your cassocks kids because the boys in Rome are all over the press this week. The Catholic Church is making more news than Bart Stupak and Dennis Kucinich combined.
In the United States, the Church has taken a page straight from Mel Brooks. " We've flattened their fingers, we've branded their buns, nothing is working...send in the nuns." In stark opposition to the U.S. Conference of Bishops, Catholic nuns have sent a letter to Congress supporting the current healthcare legislation. The letter includes signatures from 50 Women's Orders including The Leadership Conference of Women Religious which professes to represent 90% of America's 59,000 nuns. That's enough habitted firepower to shrivel the manhood of the entire Roman Curia.
Unlike the bishops who sit in the chancery and get most of their news from Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly, the nuns actually work in hospitals and schools and get to see first hand the suffering brought about by the lack of healthcare. They also apparently read the bill and can't find the elusive abortion language Bart Stupak and America's bishops swear is in there. The nuns I remember could spot a slouching seventh grader in Church from 50 yards away. I'm confident they could detect sneaky abortion funding even if it were hiding in 2,000 pages of legislation.
Rome has been strangely silent on this issue. Not wishing to garner further abuse from Maureen Dowd and others regarding the Church's disgraceful treatment of women, the cardinals in the Vatican appear content to let America's bishops sort out America's squabbles. Smart play. Anyone who has tried to go toe-to-toe with even one nun knows how intimidating they can be. I watched Meryl Streep in "Doubt" and was afraid to chew gum for a month.
Rome has also maintained a guarded posture amid continuing allegations of 50 years of protecting pedophile priests in Germany and Ireland. The details of these accusations are as familiar as they are disturbing. Catholic bishops, including a certain Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger of Munich, aka, Benedict XVI, continually shielded clergymen accused of abusing children. These pedophiles were never referred to civil authorities or even disciplined by their superiors. Instead they were reassigned to new parishes where the abuse continued.
Sean Cardinal Brady, a top-ranking cleric in Ireland used part of his St. Patrick's Day homily to apologize for his role in perpetuating the abuse of children in his diocese. That's a start but hardly a cure. The Catholic Church in Ireland is the most heinous modern example of what happens when religion gains civil authority. Anyone appalled by the treatment of women in Afghanistan would be incensed by how children, especially girls, were systematically tortured in Ireland. If the RCC in Ireland is mystified by empty pews and dwindling collections, it need look no further than the Murphy Report of November, 2009.
The Vatican took time out from praying that the whole sordid mess would disappear to accuse the German government of persecuting the Church. In a statement worthy of the worst corporate weasel, the RCC has expressed shock and dismay that anyone would accuse Mother Church of harboring felons. They assert that the incidence of pedophilia within the ranks of the clergy is no worse than the population at large. Well that's comforting. Unfortunately, we don't usually invest the population at large with a presumption of holiness. We don't hand out Roman collars to just any citizen. We maintain a healthy skepticism of men who appear too eager to be scout masters and swim coaches until they wear rosary beads.
A priest is presumed to represent his church. Men with the power to administer the sacraments must adhere to a higher standard of moral conduct because of the damage done to both the flock and the institution. We don't expect priest to be saints but we should expect a slightly elevated degree of morality. They're priests for God sakes. They hear confessions, dole out advice, pray over the dead. They may be ordinary men but we imbue them with extraordinary respect and responsibility. If we wanted average people to act as our clergy we would be married by our grocer and confess our sins to our barber.
Besides, the issue isn't that priests are as flawed as the rest of us. The issue is that once those flaws are discovered, some responsible action should be taken. That action should not include cover-ups, denials and suborning repeated felonies. Not only did the Church systematically conceal these crimes from the police and the populace, they transferred the offenders to other parishes where, big surprise, similar crimes occurred. As long as Rome responds to these charges by appearing wounded and defensive, the congregation will continue to view them as just another sanctimonious corporation with a knee-jerk PR department and no moral fiber.
Please, Benedict, get out in front of this for once. Don't call the law firm of Duck, Dodge and Hyde. Call a press conference and promise to expose every bad apple in the ecclesiastical barrel. Act like the Vicar of Christ not the CEO of Lehman Bros after the crash. Then give yourself five Our Fathers and five Hail Mary's and go and sin no more.
In the United States, the Church has taken a page straight from Mel Brooks. " We've flattened their fingers, we've branded their buns, nothing is working...send in the nuns." In stark opposition to the U.S. Conference of Bishops, Catholic nuns have sent a letter to Congress supporting the current healthcare legislation. The letter includes signatures from 50 Women's Orders including The Leadership Conference of Women Religious which professes to represent 90% of America's 59,000 nuns. That's enough habitted firepower to shrivel the manhood of the entire Roman Curia.
Unlike the bishops who sit in the chancery and get most of their news from Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly, the nuns actually work in hospitals and schools and get to see first hand the suffering brought about by the lack of healthcare. They also apparently read the bill and can't find the elusive abortion language Bart Stupak and America's bishops swear is in there. The nuns I remember could spot a slouching seventh grader in Church from 50 yards away. I'm confident they could detect sneaky abortion funding even if it were hiding in 2,000 pages of legislation.
Rome has been strangely silent on this issue. Not wishing to garner further abuse from Maureen Dowd and others regarding the Church's disgraceful treatment of women, the cardinals in the Vatican appear content to let America's bishops sort out America's squabbles. Smart play. Anyone who has tried to go toe-to-toe with even one nun knows how intimidating they can be. I watched Meryl Streep in "Doubt" and was afraid to chew gum for a month.
----------------------
Rome has also maintained a guarded posture amid continuing allegations of 50 years of protecting pedophile priests in Germany and Ireland. The details of these accusations are as familiar as they are disturbing. Catholic bishops, including a certain Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger of Munich, aka, Benedict XVI, continually shielded clergymen accused of abusing children. These pedophiles were never referred to civil authorities or even disciplined by their superiors. Instead they were reassigned to new parishes where the abuse continued.
Sean Cardinal Brady, a top-ranking cleric in Ireland used part of his St. Patrick's Day homily to apologize for his role in perpetuating the abuse of children in his diocese. That's a start but hardly a cure. The Catholic Church in Ireland is the most heinous modern example of what happens when religion gains civil authority. Anyone appalled by the treatment of women in Afghanistan would be incensed by how children, especially girls, were systematically tortured in Ireland. If the RCC in Ireland is mystified by empty pews and dwindling collections, it need look no further than the Murphy Report of November, 2009.
The Vatican took time out from praying that the whole sordid mess would disappear to accuse the German government of persecuting the Church. In a statement worthy of the worst corporate weasel, the RCC has expressed shock and dismay that anyone would accuse Mother Church of harboring felons. They assert that the incidence of pedophilia within the ranks of the clergy is no worse than the population at large. Well that's comforting. Unfortunately, we don't usually invest the population at large with a presumption of holiness. We don't hand out Roman collars to just any citizen. We maintain a healthy skepticism of men who appear too eager to be scout masters and swim coaches until they wear rosary beads.
A priest is presumed to represent his church. Men with the power to administer the sacraments must adhere to a higher standard of moral conduct because of the damage done to both the flock and the institution. We don't expect priest to be saints but we should expect a slightly elevated degree of morality. They're priests for God sakes. They hear confessions, dole out advice, pray over the dead. They may be ordinary men but we imbue them with extraordinary respect and responsibility. If we wanted average people to act as our clergy we would be married by our grocer and confess our sins to our barber.
Besides, the issue isn't that priests are as flawed as the rest of us. The issue is that once those flaws are discovered, some responsible action should be taken. That action should not include cover-ups, denials and suborning repeated felonies. Not only did the Church systematically conceal these crimes from the police and the populace, they transferred the offenders to other parishes where, big surprise, similar crimes occurred. As long as Rome responds to these charges by appearing wounded and defensive, the congregation will continue to view them as just another sanctimonious corporation with a knee-jerk PR department and no moral fiber.
Please, Benedict, get out in front of this for once. Don't call the law firm of Duck, Dodge and Hyde. Call a press conference and promise to expose every bad apple in the ecclesiastical barrel. Act like the Vicar of Christ not the CEO of Lehman Bros after the crash. Then give yourself five Our Fathers and five Hail Mary's and go and sin no more.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
...or should we pray for Catholic Church 2.0?
Item
Pope Benedict XVI has been expressing concern at the level of abuse he's received over the attempted reconciliation between the RCC and the Pius X Society, represented by the always lively Bishop Richard Williamson. His Holiness swears he was totally unaware of Bishop Williamson's rather novel view on world history circa 1936 through 1945. Williamson's take on the Holocaust is "much to-do about not much".Critics of the Church are incredulous that the Holy See was oblivious to the opinions of Bishop Williamson. Rome was advised that a simple Google search would have produced all the necessary information.
Tragically, the Vicar of Christ appears technologically challenged. Ask him anything about the teaching in the Baltimore Catechism and he can recite for hours. On the subject of obscure ecclesiastic texts, he'll bring tears to your eyes. However, put him in front of a computer and he can't tell a mouse pad from a patten. He believes that a cursor should clean up his language and go to confession(rim shot!). The rest of the Vatican isn't much better. It took the entire Roman Curia two days to replace the toner in the only printer in St. Peters.
Clearly the Church is due for an IT upgrade. Some suggestions for improving the technology of Catholicism include: online confession with written penances (see how you like typing out the Our Father ten times); mite boxes that can be filled by paypal; a photoshop app that puts ashes on your facebook photo. The possibilities are endless. Papal elections can be held without flying all those elderly Cardinals to Rome. Just have them log in to a secure web site, similar to the way they vote on American Idol. Sadly, some legacy issues will remain. Someone will still have to send up the black and white smoke. The Church might also consider virtual pilgrimages. With just a few chicks of a mouse you too could be on your knees at Fatima or Lourdes and get started on a cure for what ails you.
Regardless of how the Holy See chooses to update the technology, we shouldn't be looking for a online dating service for priests any time soon.
Item
In other ecclesiastic news, the Catholic Church has reinvigorated the concept of indulgences. For those of you raised in religions other than the RCC, an indulgence is a partial or complete reduction of your time in purgatory. To attempt a more detailed explanation would be pointless. If you need more info, search Google.
The only thing you really need to know about indulgences is that the concept of selling them to rich and powerful Catholics (a common practice in Medieval times) caused Martin Luther to decorate the Cathedral in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517.
How Catholics get to heaven is of no particular interest to the other 75% of America who listen to voices other than Benedict XVI. What is interesting is the bigger picture, namely the seemingly perverse desire on the part of the Catholic Church to make headlines. Seriously, when was the last time you read a newspaper story about Methodists or Lutherans? Aside from the recent controversy on gay bishops affecting Presbyterians and the recent flap over Mormon crickets, no other Christian group appears interested in stories above the fold. Whether it's denying Communion to proponents of abortion or prohibiting gays from meeting in Church halls, the Catholics are media crazy. Each time the Pope steps in front of a microphone or picks up a pen, someone is getting their theological knickers in a wad. Who's doing PR at the Vatican, Amy Winehouse? It's religion, not Praying With The Stars.
Late breaking news. Live from Yaounde, Cameroon...the Pope has explained to sub-Sahara Africa, home to 22 million HIV infected people, that condoms are not the answer. Quod erat demonstrandum.
___________________________________________________________________
Pope Benedict XVI has been expressing concern at the level of abuse he's received over the attempted reconciliation between the RCC and the Pius X Society, represented by the always lively Bishop Richard Williamson. His Holiness swears he was totally unaware of Bishop Williamson's rather novel view on world history circa 1936 through 1945. Williamson's take on the Holocaust is "much to-do about not much".Critics of the Church are incredulous that the Holy See was oblivious to the opinions of Bishop Williamson. Rome was advised that a simple Google search would have produced all the necessary information.
Tragically, the Vicar of Christ appears technologically challenged. Ask him anything about the teaching in the Baltimore Catechism and he can recite for hours. On the subject of obscure ecclesiastic texts, he'll bring tears to your eyes. However, put him in front of a computer and he can't tell a mouse pad from a patten. He believes that a cursor should clean up his language and go to confession(rim shot!). The rest of the Vatican isn't much better. It took the entire Roman Curia two days to replace the toner in the only printer in St. Peters.
Clearly the Church is due for an IT upgrade. Some suggestions for improving the technology of Catholicism include: online confession with written penances (see how you like typing out the Our Father ten times); mite boxes that can be filled by paypal; a photoshop app that puts ashes on your facebook photo. The possibilities are endless. Papal elections can be held without flying all those elderly Cardinals to Rome. Just have them log in to a secure web site, similar to the way they vote on American Idol. Sadly, some legacy issues will remain. Someone will still have to send up the black and white smoke. The Church might also consider virtual pilgrimages. With just a few chicks of a mouse you too could be on your knees at Fatima or Lourdes and get started on a cure for what ails you.
Regardless of how the Holy See chooses to update the technology, we shouldn't be looking for a online dating service for priests any time soon.
Item
In other ecclesiastic news, the Catholic Church has reinvigorated the concept of indulgences. For those of you raised in religions other than the RCC, an indulgence is a partial or complete reduction of your time in purgatory. To attempt a more detailed explanation would be pointless. If you need more info, search Google.
The only thing you really need to know about indulgences is that the concept of selling them to rich and powerful Catholics (a common practice in Medieval times) caused Martin Luther to decorate the Cathedral in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517.
How Catholics get to heaven is of no particular interest to the other 75% of America who listen to voices other than Benedict XVI. What is interesting is the bigger picture, namely the seemingly perverse desire on the part of the Catholic Church to make headlines. Seriously, when was the last time you read a newspaper story about Methodists or Lutherans? Aside from the recent controversy on gay bishops affecting Presbyterians and the recent flap over Mormon crickets, no other Christian group appears interested in stories above the fold. Whether it's denying Communion to proponents of abortion or prohibiting gays from meeting in Church halls, the Catholics are media crazy. Each time the Pope steps in front of a microphone or picks up a pen, someone is getting their theological knickers in a wad. Who's doing PR at the Vatican, Amy Winehouse? It's religion, not Praying With The Stars.
Late breaking news. Live from Yaounde, Cameroon...the Pope has explained to sub-Sahara Africa, home to 22 million HIV infected people, that condoms are not the answer. Quod erat demonstrandum.
___________________________________________________________________
Friday, February 06, 2009
...or is "Stupid is as stupid does" becoming the new world order?
Maybe it was the tainted peanut butter. Maybe he was just tired of seeing Barak Obama grab all the headlines. There must be some explanation for the actions of Pope Benedict XVI beyond his being a crabby, miserable geriatrics who is drifting into irrelevancy. Whatever the reason, he has proven that no good deed does unpunished.
Dateline: Rome
Having already made every effort to offend the Muslims in 2006, The Vicar of Christ decided to take a page from the George W. Bush Isolationist Handbook and see if he couldn't stir up the Jews. One can imagine the Pope coming down to breakfast and announcing to his staff that he has had a great idea. "Let's reinstate Bishop Richard Williamson and the other three excommunicated dinosaurs who were consecrated by every body's favorite schismatic, Cardinal Marcel Lefebvre. Not only will we win points with the Society of Pius X (more later) but we will aggravate all the Jews and most of the Germans." (Actually the German people are probably sick of wearing a hair shirt over something that happened before most of them were born.)
Always the cut-up, Bishop Williamson repaid the Pope's kindness by proclaiming his assertion that the Holocaust was a radically overstated misunderstanding; actually something of a rounding error in the WWII death toll. According to him, a few Jews were killed (seemingly by accident) but not as part of any state-sponsored genocide. Certainly no gas chambers were used. Boy, wait until Steven Spielberg finds out. This bit of revisionist history has had the effect of making Benedict XVI look like a both a Jew-hater and a bad German, a rare two-fer.
The Vatican's public relations cleanup squad was quick to assert that the Pope was only trying to heal a rift with Cardinal Lefebvre and the Society of Pius X. The Society apparently believes that any attempt at liberalizing the Catholic Church is Godless and just a damn shame. They have exactly zero use for Vatican II and won't be happy until the Church returns to Latin Masses, unpadded kneelers and penances that involve whips with little knots. Think of the Bush administration but with cassocks. The Catholic Church seems to be up to their mitres in societies that favor "that old-time religion". (see also Opus Dei.)
This Papal tap dance may not have soothed the radical right in the Catholic Church but it sure frosted the good feelings with the Jews that Benedict's predecessor had tried to foster. Hopefully the Pope wasn't planning a trip to Jerusalem anytime soon, or to Germany either. People who disavow the Holocaust in der Fatherland end up in jail. Benedict now finds himself with: 1) an angry Germany, 2) angry Jews, 3) angry Church liberals and 4) a still unrepentant, off-the- reservation bishop. Talk about your diplomatic triumph. If Benedict could only find a way to annoy women, he'd have the quinella.
Dateline: Rome
Having already made every effort to offend the Muslims in 2006, The Vicar of Christ decided to take a page from the George W. Bush Isolationist Handbook and see if he couldn't stir up the Jews. One can imagine the Pope coming down to breakfast and announcing to his staff that he has had a great idea. "Let's reinstate Bishop Richard Williamson and the other three excommunicated dinosaurs who were consecrated by every body's favorite schismatic, Cardinal Marcel Lefebvre. Not only will we win points with the Society of Pius X (more later) but we will aggravate all the Jews and most of the Germans." (Actually the German people are probably sick of wearing a hair shirt over something that happened before most of them were born.)
Always the cut-up, Bishop Williamson repaid the Pope's kindness by proclaiming his assertion that the Holocaust was a radically overstated misunderstanding; actually something of a rounding error in the WWII death toll. According to him, a few Jews were killed (seemingly by accident) but not as part of any state-sponsored genocide. Certainly no gas chambers were used. Boy, wait until Steven Spielberg finds out. This bit of revisionist history has had the effect of making Benedict XVI look like a both a Jew-hater and a bad German, a rare two-fer.
The Vatican's public relations cleanup squad was quick to assert that the Pope was only trying to heal a rift with Cardinal Lefebvre and the Society of Pius X. The Society apparently believes that any attempt at liberalizing the Catholic Church is Godless and just a damn shame. They have exactly zero use for Vatican II and won't be happy until the Church returns to Latin Masses, unpadded kneelers and penances that involve whips with little knots. Think of the Bush administration but with cassocks. The Catholic Church seems to be up to their mitres in societies that favor "that old-time religion". (see also Opus Dei.)
This Papal tap dance may not have soothed the radical right in the Catholic Church but it sure frosted the good feelings with the Jews that Benedict's predecessor had tried to foster. Hopefully the Pope wasn't planning a trip to Jerusalem anytime soon, or to Germany either. People who disavow the Holocaust in der Fatherland end up in jail. Benedict now finds himself with: 1) an angry Germany, 2) angry Jews, 3) angry Church liberals and 4) a still unrepentant, off-the- reservation bishop. Talk about your diplomatic triumph. If Benedict could only find a way to annoy women, he'd have the quinella.
Saturday, March 17, 2007
...or should Pope Benedict XVI take a vow of silence?
Isitjustme has stayed away from discussing the Roman Catholic Church at least in part because some of my best friends, etc. However a notice in the paper this week reminded me that it isn't just the right wing Protestant loonies that require watching.
For no particular reason, the Vatican issued a statement this week reinforcing the Church's position on gay marriage. The Holy See indicated that the subject was "non-negotiable" and that Catholic, elected officials should act accordingly. Holy white smoke, Batman. That's a helluva thing!
Way back in 1928 the Democratic party nominated the affable Governor of New York, Al Smith, to run for President. Al was the first Roman Catholic to be so honored. He was thumped by Herbert Hoover partly because much of Southern America believed that if we elected a Catholic, the United States would be run by edicts from Rome. Jack Kennedy would have to overcome the same prejudices 32 years later. Most Catholics at the time found the idea absurd. Why would the Pope be interested in meddling in the affairs of Washington? Well, here we are in 2007 and it turns out that the rednecks of 1928 were right to be concerned.
The delightful irony of this is that American Catholics rarely listen to the doctrines of Rome on any issue. In the U.S. 80% of Catholics practice birth control. (It's probably closer to 99% but some just won't fess up.) About half of the faithful in the U.S. are in favor of leaving Roe v. Wade where it is. The Pope has about as much clout in America as the Dalai Lama or the Archbishop of Canterbury. Perhaps the Vatican will have better luck with the members of Congress.
To be fair, the Catholic Church and many other denominations, view abortion as murder. On that basis the Pope is right to speak out against Catholics in government who support what the Church sees as state sponsored homicide. This really is non-negotiable for Catholics. However, the last time I looked, marriage was a civil matter. While the Church affords marriage sacramental status, priests are licenced by the state to preform what essentially is a secular function. By excoriating legislators to bend to the will of Rome on gay marriage, the Pope is interfering in a non-religious, civil issue. This would be similar to encouraging the owners of Yankee Stadium to prohibit the sale of hot dogs on Friday nights during Lent.
Can you imagine if any other religious leaders attempted to superimpose their doctrines on America? Rabbis could lobby for road closings to discourage travel on Fridays after sundown. Imams could demand the prohibition of liquor sales (again) to conform to Islamic law. The American Congress has managed quite nicely for the last 220 odd years without the infallible interference of the Holy Father. Here's the deal. If the Pope doesn't attempt to tell us how to run America, we won't tell him how to remove Father Chester the Molester from the priesthood.
If Benedict XVI wants to create a better America by having our laws modeled after Church teachings, how about we invoke the Catholic Church's prohibition against suicide and ban smoking? American Catholics might not have clean souls but at least they would go to hell with clean lungs.
For no particular reason, the Vatican issued a statement this week reinforcing the Church's position on gay marriage. The Holy See indicated that the subject was "non-negotiable" and that Catholic, elected officials should act accordingly. Holy white smoke, Batman. That's a helluva thing!
Way back in 1928 the Democratic party nominated the affable Governor of New York, Al Smith, to run for President. Al was the first Roman Catholic to be so honored. He was thumped by Herbert Hoover partly because much of Southern America believed that if we elected a Catholic, the United States would be run by edicts from Rome. Jack Kennedy would have to overcome the same prejudices 32 years later. Most Catholics at the time found the idea absurd. Why would the Pope be interested in meddling in the affairs of Washington? Well, here we are in 2007 and it turns out that the rednecks of 1928 were right to be concerned.
The delightful irony of this is that American Catholics rarely listen to the doctrines of Rome on any issue. In the U.S. 80% of Catholics practice birth control. (It's probably closer to 99% but some just won't fess up.) About half of the faithful in the U.S. are in favor of leaving Roe v. Wade where it is. The Pope has about as much clout in America as the Dalai Lama or the Archbishop of Canterbury. Perhaps the Vatican will have better luck with the members of Congress.
To be fair, the Catholic Church and many other denominations, view abortion as murder. On that basis the Pope is right to speak out against Catholics in government who support what the Church sees as state sponsored homicide. This really is non-negotiable for Catholics. However, the last time I looked, marriage was a civil matter. While the Church affords marriage sacramental status, priests are licenced by the state to preform what essentially is a secular function. By excoriating legislators to bend to the will of Rome on gay marriage, the Pope is interfering in a non-religious, civil issue. This would be similar to encouraging the owners of Yankee Stadium to prohibit the sale of hot dogs on Friday nights during Lent.
Can you imagine if any other religious leaders attempted to superimpose their doctrines on America? Rabbis could lobby for road closings to discourage travel on Fridays after sundown. Imams could demand the prohibition of liquor sales (again) to conform to Islamic law. The American Congress has managed quite nicely for the last 220 odd years without the infallible interference of the Holy Father. Here's the deal. If the Pope doesn't attempt to tell us how to run America, we won't tell him how to remove Father Chester the Molester from the priesthood.
If Benedict XVI wants to create a better America by having our laws modeled after Church teachings, how about we invoke the Catholic Church's prohibition against suicide and ban smoking? American Catholics might not have clean souls but at least they would go to hell with clean lungs.
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