Promise!
No more stuff about the former VP... for a while!
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Local Bronx beauty, Sonia Sotomayor, is about to be confirmed as the 111th Justice of the Supreme Court. Considering all the Catholics on the Court these days (six with Sonia), "Confirmation" is taking on a whole new meaning. In that Justice Sotomayor replaces Justice David Souter, her addition to the bench will not alter the overall make-up of the Supremes. There will still be Anton Scalia and his Gang of Four holding down the hard right. Anthony Kennedy remains as the swinger.
The Republicans, powerless to stop Judge Sotomayor from ascending to the Brotherhood, are none-the-less at full-throated indignation. No one's dudgeon is higher than Newton Leroy "Newt" Gingrich. Mr. Gingrich, currently filling the leadership gap in the Republican Party, has called Ms. Sotomayor a racist. If the GOP definition of racist is any person who acknowledges that their racial or ethnic background is likely to shape their view of the world, Judge Sotomayor should plead guilty as charged. Judge Alito made just such an observation at his confirmation hearing and no one batted an eye. Perhaps Mr. Gingrich is concerned that old, white, East Coast-centric Christians are underrepresented on the Court.
Anyway, let's hope that the howlers in the GOP and their radio surrogates continue to rail against a Latina woman with impeccable credentials. I'm sure the Republicans feels they can win the next national election without Texas, Arizona, New Mexico and Florida. After all, they're still solid in Nebraska.
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As predicted, the horrific scandal involving the Catholic Church in Ireland and the Irish School System has already faded into the distance. Notice, not a single word from Rome. That tells you all you need to know about the Vicar of Christ and his pack of pedophile-enablers. The Catholic church is not interested in truth or in righting a terrible wrong. Their biggest problem this week is to try and minimize ticket sales for Ron Howard's Angels and Demons. Keep filling those collection plates, folks.
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Yes, I know we should take North Korea seriously. Nukes and missiles are a scary combination, especially in the hands of a crazy person. However every picture of Kim Jong Il that is published in the world press makes it almost impossible to be frightened. The guy looks like one of those dolls at a carnival you throw baseballs at to win a teddy bear. There should be a rule that you can't be an insane dictator with your finger on the button if you look like something created by Jim Henson from an old sock and the cotton from an aspirin bottle.
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And as long as we are solving the world's issues: Good luck trying to get Americans to care about the rebellion in Sri Lanka or the political trial in Burma.
While it's true that the rebels in Sri Lanka had a cool name, Tamil Tigers, you would be hard pressed to find anyone short of the Assistant Undersecretary of State for South Asian Affairs who has any idea what the fighting was about. Apparently, the citizens of the northeast of the country wished to create an independent state. After twenty years of fighting, during which time the Tigers appeared to be winning, they lost a close one. If you need more, start reading the Sunday Times.
In Burma/Myanmar (honestly, how am I supposed to care about a country that can't decide what to call itself?) there is a trial in progress. The defendant Aung San Suu Kyi, is charged with breaking the terms of her house arrest by allowing an unauthorized guest to stay at her home. Ms. Suu Kyi has been confined inside her house by the ruling junta for the crime of having beaten them in an election in 1990. The generals clearly had over-estimated their popularity. Anyway the guest, a whack-job named John Yettaw from Missouri claims to have had a vision (don't they all) that Suu Kyi's life was in danger. He swam across a lake to her house using homemade fins. Thanks to his efforts Suu Kyi faces six years in prison...real prison. Ms. Suu Kyi's defense is that she thought Mr. Yattaw was selling Avon products and didn't want to appear rude.
Now, you're all caught up on world affairs. Don't try to thank me.
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Thoughts to ponder:
Why, after a train-load of tax violations, local and federal, is Marion Barry not in jail?
Why, in spite of all the evidence piling up around his little body, is Roland Burris still in the Senate?
How does America, after refusing to allow Guantanamo detainees to be relocated to U.S. prisons, have the nerve to suggest to European countries that they take a few each?
Talk among yourselves!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
...or should Dick Cheney have his own reality show?
Really! If the "main stream media", otherwise known as EBF (Everybody But Fox) was as liberal as the right-wing radio airbags claim, one of them would be creating a pilot for a fall show featuring the former Vice President. It could run behind "I'm a Celebrity. Get Me Out of Here". The concept plays right into the hands of the liberals. As long as Cheney keeps talking, the Democrats will never have to worry about losing another election...ever. Thanks to the ex-VP the GOP will be able to hold it's next convention in the conference room at the Topeka, Kansas Best Western. Consider that in 1992, the year Bill Clinton rode to town, 47% of voters 18 to 29 said they were Republicans. In 2009 that number is 33%. Can these guys throw a party or what?
Every time Cheney opens his sneering mouth, thousands of moderate voters run screaming for the exits. The man virtually oozes smugness. His message is simply a cynical effort to twist the facts and justify his illegal actions during his tenure as de facto President. Lord deliver us from Dick Cheney's protection.
If you're looking for enlightenment in the Republican dialogue, consider Colin Powell, the man Dick Cheney is determined to ostracize from the Party by any means necessary. Apparently, the General committed the ultimate sin by endorsing Barak Obama for President. Rush Limbaugh, the other turd in the Republican punchbowl, called that endorsement purely racial. For the Cheney-Limbaugh tandem to impugned the motives of Colin Powell is laughable. Between the two of them, they have exactly zero days of service to this country.
As the Republicans scurry about attempting to determine who they are, or who they want to be, Cheney and Powell offer a stark contrast both of vision and style. Powell was a lifelong independent. (It doesn't help your military career to be overtly political.) He joined the Republicans in 1995. (Apparently he didn't realize he was black until 2008.) He became the assumptive Secretary of State for George W. Bush in the 2000 campaign although Bush never actually asked him to join the team. None of Bush's gang of handlers liked Powell. He was too difficult to control (read: too honest) Nevertheless it was common knowledge that George W's resume was a touch light on world affairs (he couldn't find Montreal with Mapquest) and the General added some badly needed gravitas.
Powell served the puppet-masters in the Bush White House for four years without once complaining. They sent him to the UN prior to the Iraq invasion to shamefully mislead the world about what we knew. Powell never moaned or broke ranks. He played the good soldier until after the 2004 election in spite of the dismissive treatment he received. Had he spoken up about the lies and treachery of the first Bush term prior to the election, John Kerry might well have been elected President. That, however, was not in Colin Powell's code. In short, Colin Powell's career has been about honor, service and loyalty. The Republicans could do a lot worse.
Then we have Dick Cheney, the Snidely Whiplash of American politics. Too busy to serve in the military, Cheney spent his entire career fighting America's wars from various desks in the Capital. He has been: Chief of Staff (Ford), Representative from Wyoming (Reagan), Secretary of Defense (Bush I) and, of course, Vice President (Bush II). Most of Cheney's time in Washington was unremarkable. As VP however, he became Machiavelli and Rasputin all in one. His deceit and maneuverings as VP, (WMD, Valerie Plame, Enhanced Interrogation) are legend. Tired of being a bridesmaid, Cheney decided that Vice President was close enough to absolute power considering that GWB was such a light weight. His scorched earth Vice Presidency made a mockery of the Constitution and the idea of exporting our values into a punchline.
Given a choice, which of these men appears to exemplify the traits we look for in leaders? Powell has yet to break faith with an administration that excluded him from everything but photo-ops. Cheney ran for Vice President on a bigoted platform opposing homosexual relationships while his lesbian daughter was conceiving her first child. Hypocrisy, anyone?
Granted it's difficult to smell a rose in a field of manure but even the social conservatives must notice that Powell's Republican Party appears more palatable. Debates about guns, abortion and marriage are healthy and demand more than bumper stickers. Be opposed to the closing of Guantanamo for reasons that make sense, not because you heard that Obama wants to free the detainees and relocate them in Austin. Try substance instead of sloganeering. And please God, get Karl Rove the hell out of the party.
But hey, don't listen to me. Nominate the ticket of Palin and Joe the Plumber in 2012. Let Rush, Michael Savage and Glen Beck tell you how to think. Let the Christian Right set your agenda. Just get used to hearing, "Will the Democratic nominee step forward to be sworn in?"
Every time Cheney opens his sneering mouth, thousands of moderate voters run screaming for the exits. The man virtually oozes smugness. His message is simply a cynical effort to twist the facts and justify his illegal actions during his tenure as de facto President. Lord deliver us from Dick Cheney's protection.
If you're looking for enlightenment in the Republican dialogue, consider Colin Powell, the man Dick Cheney is determined to ostracize from the Party by any means necessary. Apparently, the General committed the ultimate sin by endorsing Barak Obama for President. Rush Limbaugh, the other turd in the Republican punchbowl, called that endorsement purely racial. For the Cheney-Limbaugh tandem to impugned the motives of Colin Powell is laughable. Between the two of them, they have exactly zero days of service to this country.
As the Republicans scurry about attempting to determine who they are, or who they want to be, Cheney and Powell offer a stark contrast both of vision and style. Powell was a lifelong independent. (It doesn't help your military career to be overtly political.) He joined the Republicans in 1995. (Apparently he didn't realize he was black until 2008.) He became the assumptive Secretary of State for George W. Bush in the 2000 campaign although Bush never actually asked him to join the team. None of Bush's gang of handlers liked Powell. He was too difficult to control (read: too honest) Nevertheless it was common knowledge that George W's resume was a touch light on world affairs (he couldn't find Montreal with Mapquest) and the General added some badly needed gravitas.
Powell served the puppet-masters in the Bush White House for four years without once complaining. They sent him to the UN prior to the Iraq invasion to shamefully mislead the world about what we knew. Powell never moaned or broke ranks. He played the good soldier until after the 2004 election in spite of the dismissive treatment he received. Had he spoken up about the lies and treachery of the first Bush term prior to the election, John Kerry might well have been elected President. That, however, was not in Colin Powell's code. In short, Colin Powell's career has been about honor, service and loyalty. The Republicans could do a lot worse.
Then we have Dick Cheney, the Snidely Whiplash of American politics. Too busy to serve in the military, Cheney spent his entire career fighting America's wars from various desks in the Capital. He has been: Chief of Staff (Ford), Representative from Wyoming (Reagan), Secretary of Defense (Bush I) and, of course, Vice President (Bush II). Most of Cheney's time in Washington was unremarkable. As VP however, he became Machiavelli and Rasputin all in one. His deceit and maneuverings as VP, (WMD, Valerie Plame, Enhanced Interrogation) are legend. Tired of being a bridesmaid, Cheney decided that Vice President was close enough to absolute power considering that GWB was such a light weight. His scorched earth Vice Presidency made a mockery of the Constitution and the idea of exporting our values into a punchline.
Given a choice, which of these men appears to exemplify the traits we look for in leaders? Powell has yet to break faith with an administration that excluded him from everything but photo-ops. Cheney ran for Vice President on a bigoted platform opposing homosexual relationships while his lesbian daughter was conceiving her first child. Hypocrisy, anyone?
Granted it's difficult to smell a rose in a field of manure but even the social conservatives must notice that Powell's Republican Party appears more palatable. Debates about guns, abortion and marriage are healthy and demand more than bumper stickers. Be opposed to the closing of Guantanamo for reasons that make sense, not because you heard that Obama wants to free the detainees and relocate them in Austin. Try substance instead of sloganeering. And please God, get Karl Rove the hell out of the party.
But hey, don't listen to me. Nominate the ticket of Palin and Joe the Plumber in 2012. Let Rush, Michael Savage and Glen Beck tell you how to think. Let the Christian Right set your agenda. Just get used to hearing, "Will the Democratic nominee step forward to be sworn in?"
Thursday, May 21, 2009
...or should we get the Irish Christian Brothers to run our advanced interrogation techniques?
All those surprised to learn that the Catholic Church in Ireland was running a Dickensian education system, show me your palms so I can whack them with a ruler. Seriously, even Dickens didn't depict Oliver Twist as being sexually abused.
A 2,600 page report released by The Commission to Inquire into Child Abuse has finally brought to light one of the most egregious conspiracies ever designed. The Irish Department of Education and the Catholic Church in Ireland formed an unholy alliance in the 30's to "educate" troubled, delinquent and orphaned children. From 1930 to 1990 the children confined in these institutions were systematically abused both sexually and emotionally. The statistical information is shattering. More than 200 facilities were involved. 800 clergy (priests, brothers and nuns) and lay personal have been implicated. Over 1,700 victims have given testimony regarding the deplorable treatment received at the hands of those entrusted with their care.
No one educated by Catholic religious orders in America is a stranger to corporal punishment. In the Archdiocese of New York, the Irish Christian Brothers were legendary among high school students as disciplinarians. However, a crack on the back of the head for horsing around in class is a far cry from the sort of continuous, brutal treatment visited upon the kids in Ireland.
As usual, those honorable souls in the Vatican are running for cover. Having suborned and protected abusers for fifty years in America, the bishops in Rome are well practiced in covering their collective flanks. No doubt this recent revelation will all be passed off as ancient history. The Church will issue a press release condemning the sins of the past and congratulating themselves for closing the offending institutions...75 years too late. Rev. Vincent Nichols, head of Catholics in England and Wales, has publicly raised the clueless quotient to new heights by proclaiming, "The clergy who admitted abusing children are courageous for facing up to their past." Makes you believe that chutzpah is really Latin for "cleric".
For as heinous as these revelations are, the Church in Ireland is still up to its roman collar in a cover-up. According to an agreement signed by the investigating Commission and the Irish Christian Brothers, the Commission is prohibited from releasing the names of any of the offenders. Excuse me but these aren't misdemeanors here. These are predator felonies. Being dead is no protection from justice. The thousands of former students/inmates deserve closure. The fact that anyone in authority in Ireland is making deals with the very conspirators being investigated is beneath contempt.
The Commission's report uses the word "endemic" to describe the pattern of abuse. Although the Christian Brothers were the biggest offenders, it is clear that the entire system was replete with abusers. The Government in Dublin was only too happy to let the Church handle their troubled youth issues. If a few kids were raped or emotionally scarred, well it serves them right for being confined in the first place. The report by the Commission sounded almost relieved to reveal that the rape cases were mostly among the boys. I guess we are to be mollified that the girls were only slapped around and humiliated.
This story will be in the headlines for a week or so but it will never garner the indignation it deserves. The Catholic Church has lied, obfuscated, stone-walled and minimized its responsibility in abuse cases since the subject surfaced in America about ten years ago. Since then, Cardinal Bernard Law, the world's best known pedophile enabler, is still wearing his red cardinal's dress and still working in Rome. The American Council of Bishops has yet to initiate a single reform or speak publicly on systematic child abuse unless it is to respond to a specific charge. They wouldn't respond if the request came in an envelope from Fatima.
As an organization whose first responsibility is to its flock, the Church in Rome has responded to this cancer as if they were the Mafia, where omerta still rules. Rather than confront their demons, the Vatican has attempted to protect its reputation and treasure with meaningless apologies and misdirection. If Jesus were alive, he would sue to have his likeness removed from every Catholic Church. Even the Almighty has a gag reflex.
A 2,600 page report released by The Commission to Inquire into Child Abuse has finally brought to light one of the most egregious conspiracies ever designed. The Irish Department of Education and the Catholic Church in Ireland formed an unholy alliance in the 30's to "educate" troubled, delinquent and orphaned children. From 1930 to 1990 the children confined in these institutions were systematically abused both sexually and emotionally. The statistical information is shattering. More than 200 facilities were involved. 800 clergy (priests, brothers and nuns) and lay personal have been implicated. Over 1,700 victims have given testimony regarding the deplorable treatment received at the hands of those entrusted with their care.
No one educated by Catholic religious orders in America is a stranger to corporal punishment. In the Archdiocese of New York, the Irish Christian Brothers were legendary among high school students as disciplinarians. However, a crack on the back of the head for horsing around in class is a far cry from the sort of continuous, brutal treatment visited upon the kids in Ireland.
As usual, those honorable souls in the Vatican are running for cover. Having suborned and protected abusers for fifty years in America, the bishops in Rome are well practiced in covering their collective flanks. No doubt this recent revelation will all be passed off as ancient history. The Church will issue a press release condemning the sins of the past and congratulating themselves for closing the offending institutions...75 years too late. Rev. Vincent Nichols, head of Catholics in England and Wales, has publicly raised the clueless quotient to new heights by proclaiming, "The clergy who admitted abusing children are courageous for facing up to their past." Makes you believe that chutzpah is really Latin for "cleric".
For as heinous as these revelations are, the Church in Ireland is still up to its roman collar in a cover-up. According to an agreement signed by the investigating Commission and the Irish Christian Brothers, the Commission is prohibited from releasing the names of any of the offenders. Excuse me but these aren't misdemeanors here. These are predator felonies. Being dead is no protection from justice. The thousands of former students/inmates deserve closure. The fact that anyone in authority in Ireland is making deals with the very conspirators being investigated is beneath contempt.
The Commission's report uses the word "endemic" to describe the pattern of abuse. Although the Christian Brothers were the biggest offenders, it is clear that the entire system was replete with abusers. The Government in Dublin was only too happy to let the Church handle their troubled youth issues. If a few kids were raped or emotionally scarred, well it serves them right for being confined in the first place. The report by the Commission sounded almost relieved to reveal that the rape cases were mostly among the boys. I guess we are to be mollified that the girls were only slapped around and humiliated.
This story will be in the headlines for a week or so but it will never garner the indignation it deserves. The Catholic Church has lied, obfuscated, stone-walled and minimized its responsibility in abuse cases since the subject surfaced in America about ten years ago. Since then, Cardinal Bernard Law, the world's best known pedophile enabler, is still wearing his red cardinal's dress and still working in Rome. The American Council of Bishops has yet to initiate a single reform or speak publicly on systematic child abuse unless it is to respond to a specific charge. They wouldn't respond if the request came in an envelope from Fatima.
As an organization whose first responsibility is to its flock, the Church in Rome has responded to this cancer as if they were the Mafia, where omerta still rules. Rather than confront their demons, the Vatican has attempted to protect its reputation and treasure with meaningless apologies and misdirection. If Jesus were alive, he would sue to have his likeness removed from every Catholic Church. Even the Almighty has a gag reflex.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
...or is climate change happening most rapidly in Rush Limbaugh's pants?
There's an old Monty Python routine in which a man pays to have an argument. Each time the customer says something the man at the desk says "no it's not" or "no you didn't". The customer feels cheated. He claims that an argument is a "series of statements to establish a point" not "the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says". Welcome to Republican politics circa 2009. The "Party of Ideas" appears reduced to one...President Obama (may his drives forever find the fairway) is wrong.
This contradiction opposition was again in evidence this week. In a tragic effort to somehow halt the Obama juggernaut, the GOP's brightest lights were in full-throated response regarding the President's initiative on climate change. Seemingly oblivious to the mood of the country, Republican members of the House and Senate appear determined to make almost laughable statements to Congress and the media. In the process, these distinguished members reinforced the notion that 1) they are none of them rocket scientists and, 2) dumb is as dumb does.
Attempting to prove that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas announced that "CO2 can't be harmful. It's in your Dr. Pepper". Well, who could argue with that kind of science? He further stated that "no one ever checked into a hospital suffering from CO2 poisoning." Pointing out to Mr. Barton that bananas contain potassium which is good in moderation but deadly in excess, would be a waste of CO2. Presumably, Rep. Barton feels that nuclear fission is great provided you have the right bait.
Joining the chorus is everybody's favorite mixed-race Representative from Ohio, John Boehner. Rep. Boehner opined that "the idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen..is laughable". Agreed. However, no one in science ever suggested that CO2 causes cancer... except Mr. Boehner (The color of Rep. Boehner's skin suggests that he may soon discover a real carcinogen...tanning beds.)
In another statement of scientific fancy, John Shimkus (R-Ill) warned that reducing the carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere might deprive plants of needed food. (Picture, if you will, Mr. Shimkus administering mouth-to-leaf to his starving rhododendron.) Seriously, no one expects our elected officials to be scientists. What we do expect is that they try not to pontificate on issues that are out of their scope of expertise. Pronouncements like these just make Congresspeople look foolish/more foolish. Welcome to "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader Congressional Edition".
Climate change isn't settled science in the same way as evolution. (Memo to Mike Huckabee:This is not a "controversy". Neither is the earth's orbit around the sun.) It does, however, have an impressive body of evidence to suggest that the temperature of the earth is being adversely effected by human action. Will someone please explain to me and the Republicans where the downside to Obama's plan resides? Even without the threat of climate change, why is it a bad thing to build more fuel efficient cars? Even if we are not harming the planet, wouldn't less pollution be a good thing? Even if India and China don't sign on right away, shouldn't America lead the movement to do the right thing? From a nationalistic prospective, wouldn't it be great to tell those Arab sheiks where to stuff their oil?
Sadly, the GOP is so mired in shooting spitballs at Nancy Pelosi, they can't craft a credible response to any administration initiatives. Michael Steele (and it really must suck to be Michael Steele) has proclaimed that the days of apologizing for Republican mistakes of the past is over. Great! However if your idea of looking forward is to vote to rebrand the Democrats as the Democratic Socialists, no one will, or should, take you seriously.
The Republicans must do more than automatically nay-say everything the other party says. If not, the next Python sketch they emulate will be the dead parrot.
This contradiction opposition was again in evidence this week. In a tragic effort to somehow halt the Obama juggernaut, the GOP's brightest lights were in full-throated response regarding the President's initiative on climate change. Seemingly oblivious to the mood of the country, Republican members of the House and Senate appear determined to make almost laughable statements to Congress and the media. In the process, these distinguished members reinforced the notion that 1) they are none of them rocket scientists and, 2) dumb is as dumb does.
Attempting to prove that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas announced that "CO2 can't be harmful. It's in your Dr. Pepper". Well, who could argue with that kind of science? He further stated that "no one ever checked into a hospital suffering from CO2 poisoning." Pointing out to Mr. Barton that bananas contain potassium which is good in moderation but deadly in excess, would be a waste of CO2. Presumably, Rep. Barton feels that nuclear fission is great provided you have the right bait.
Joining the chorus is everybody's favorite mixed-race Representative from Ohio, John Boehner. Rep. Boehner opined that "the idea that carbon dioxide is a carcinogen..is laughable". Agreed. However, no one in science ever suggested that CO2 causes cancer... except Mr. Boehner (The color of Rep. Boehner's skin suggests that he may soon discover a real carcinogen...tanning beds.)
In another statement of scientific fancy, John Shimkus (R-Ill) warned that reducing the carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere might deprive plants of needed food. (Picture, if you will, Mr. Shimkus administering mouth-to-leaf to his starving rhododendron.) Seriously, no one expects our elected officials to be scientists. What we do expect is that they try not to pontificate on issues that are out of their scope of expertise. Pronouncements like these just make Congresspeople look foolish/more foolish. Welcome to "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader Congressional Edition".
Climate change isn't settled science in the same way as evolution. (Memo to Mike Huckabee:This is not a "controversy". Neither is the earth's orbit around the sun.) It does, however, have an impressive body of evidence to suggest that the temperature of the earth is being adversely effected by human action. Will someone please explain to me and the Republicans where the downside to Obama's plan resides? Even without the threat of climate change, why is it a bad thing to build more fuel efficient cars? Even if we are not harming the planet, wouldn't less pollution be a good thing? Even if India and China don't sign on right away, shouldn't America lead the movement to do the right thing? From a nationalistic prospective, wouldn't it be great to tell those Arab sheiks where to stuff their oil?
Sadly, the GOP is so mired in shooting spitballs at Nancy Pelosi, they can't craft a credible response to any administration initiatives. Michael Steele (and it really must suck to be Michael Steele) has proclaimed that the days of apologizing for Republican mistakes of the past is over. Great! However if your idea of looking forward is to vote to rebrand the Democrats as the Democratic Socialists, no one will, or should, take you seriously.
The Republicans must do more than automatically nay-say everything the other party says. If not, the next Python sketch they emulate will be the dead parrot.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
...could Michael Vick get a job with World Wrestling Entertainment?
There once was an athlete named Vick.
For whom football was never a trick.
But while helping his peeps
Even though they were creeps.
He stepped squarely onto his dick.
Attend the tale of Michael Vick. Rarely has a person with so much ability managed to flush his life down the crapper with such totality. (insert Mike Tyson) Seriously, could he have chosen a more heinous crime in the eyes of Americans? O.J. killed two human beings and a jury let him walk. Vick's peers weren't going to make that mistake. He was going to jail even if the jury were Klingons. Perhaps, if Vick can demonstrate either true remorse or exceptional football skill and, if some team owner is crazy enough to give him a shot, he might return to the game that made him rich and famous. Possible but unlikely.
As with most bizarre crimes, the public response says as much about us as it does the criminal. Martha Stewart did a little time for shading the truth about her investments and returned to being America's most annoying homemaker practically overnight. Michael Milken served two years for insider trading (actually a 98 count indictment) and is now the face of philanthropy.(I believe the first thing he gave away was his hair.) Robert Blake killed his wife (probably). Phil Spector killed his girlfriend (definitely) Then, of course, there's the Juice. None of these offenders could expect the level of contempt likely to accompany Michael Vick should he return to a public life.
O.J. was actually a minor celebrity right up to the moment he invaded the hotel room of some low-life in Vegas. Thankfully, there is no statue of limitations on stupid.
It's difficult to imagine a crime against any human (except children) that could have earned Michael Vick more enmity among the citizens of this country. So let me see if I understand, torturing dogs for sport is a serious crime. Torturing people to support megalomaniacal desire to wage war is praiseworthy. Please don't misunderstand, I like dogs too but dogs, like cows and chickens, are animals. I'm not suggesting that we permit felons like Michael Vick to go unpunished, only that we accord human beings the same level of dignity that we grant Lassie. (Presumably, if Vick had explained he was only trying to get the dogs to tell him about the next attack, he'd be a free man today.)
This is not either/or. Both crimes should be treated as crimes. Many people recommended mitigation in the Vick case because, they said, dog fighting was more culturally acceptable in the black community. That's racist crap but beside the point. Dick Cheney claims that he was saving America. Also crap. Also beside the point. Haul the son of a bitch into court and let him explain why a potential war with Iraq was worth shredding the Constitution. He might make a case for mitigation but not exoneration.
No one should want to see Michael Vick wear a football jersey any time soon. He should be barred from the game for the same reason that Pete Rose and Mark McGuire aren't in the Hall of Fame. Sports isn't just a job it's a contract with the fans. You have to be more than an exceptional player. You must also be a passable human being. The higher you rise in adulation, the higher the expectation of your character. Even Charles Barkley has to keep his demons under control.
Americans want to feel that their elected leaders meet those same high standards. Bill Clinton destroyed any chance of being considered a great man when he chose to play up-skirt with an intern. If the Bush Administration is so proud of its record, they should stop hiding behind executive privilege and come clean. Michael Vick's cell will be available shortly. We are a pretty forgiving country...unless you kill dogs.
For whom football was never a trick.
But while helping his peeps
Even though they were creeps.
He stepped squarely onto his dick.
Attend the tale of Michael Vick. Rarely has a person with so much ability managed to flush his life down the crapper with such totality. (insert Mike Tyson) Seriously, could he have chosen a more heinous crime in the eyes of Americans? O.J. killed two human beings and a jury let him walk. Vick's peers weren't going to make that mistake. He was going to jail even if the jury were Klingons. Perhaps, if Vick can demonstrate either true remorse or exceptional football skill and, if some team owner is crazy enough to give him a shot, he might return to the game that made him rich and famous. Possible but unlikely.
As with most bizarre crimes, the public response says as much about us as it does the criminal. Martha Stewart did a little time for shading the truth about her investments and returned to being America's most annoying homemaker practically overnight. Michael Milken served two years for insider trading (actually a 98 count indictment) and is now the face of philanthropy.(I believe the first thing he gave away was his hair.) Robert Blake killed his wife (probably). Phil Spector killed his girlfriend (definitely) Then, of course, there's the Juice. None of these offenders could expect the level of contempt likely to accompany Michael Vick should he return to a public life.
O.J. was actually a minor celebrity right up to the moment he invaded the hotel room of some low-life in Vegas. Thankfully, there is no statue of limitations on stupid.
It's difficult to imagine a crime against any human (except children) that could have earned Michael Vick more enmity among the citizens of this country. So let me see if I understand, torturing dogs for sport is a serious crime. Torturing people to support megalomaniacal desire to wage war is praiseworthy. Please don't misunderstand, I like dogs too but dogs, like cows and chickens, are animals. I'm not suggesting that we permit felons like Michael Vick to go unpunished, only that we accord human beings the same level of dignity that we grant Lassie. (Presumably, if Vick had explained he was only trying to get the dogs to tell him about the next attack, he'd be a free man today.)
This is not either/or. Both crimes should be treated as crimes. Many people recommended mitigation in the Vick case because, they said, dog fighting was more culturally acceptable in the black community. That's racist crap but beside the point. Dick Cheney claims that he was saving America. Also crap. Also beside the point. Haul the son of a bitch into court and let him explain why a potential war with Iraq was worth shredding the Constitution. He might make a case for mitigation but not exoneration.
No one should want to see Michael Vick wear a football jersey any time soon. He should be barred from the game for the same reason that Pete Rose and Mark McGuire aren't in the Hall of Fame. Sports isn't just a job it's a contract with the fans. You have to be more than an exceptional player. You must also be a passable human being. The higher you rise in adulation, the higher the expectation of your character. Even Charles Barkley has to keep his demons under control.
Americans want to feel that their elected leaders meet those same high standards. Bill Clinton destroyed any chance of being considered a great man when he chose to play up-skirt with an intern. If the Bush Administration is so proud of its record, they should stop hiding behind executive privilege and come clean. Michael Vick's cell will be available shortly. We are a pretty forgiving country...unless you kill dogs.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
... or is crime OK so long as we clear it with Nancy Pelosi?
Isitjust me is nothing if not a big tent. Well, maybe a big vomitorium but the issue is that all viewpoints are subject to equal scrutiny...except for Saint Barack, may the sun always shine on his jumpshot.
Therefore, with an eye toward fairness, we will now examine the case of yet another air-headed Miss California, Nancy Pelosi; what did she know and when.
First, Nancy is a politician, which tells you all you need to know about her concept of veracity. She has none. Ms. Pelosi has been a Congresswoman since 1987 and you don't get to spend 22 years in office without learning what to remember and what to forget. Basically, you remember all the stuff you did that worked out well (taking credit at every opportunity), and you forget all the things that ultimately went south. Phrases like "I was sick that day" or "I can't recall every detail" have served elected officials well since the invention of fire (first used to burn the notes from ill-advised meetings).
If Speaker Pelosi were exposed to the "enhanced interrogation techniques" made popular by D. Cheney and his squadron of ass-hats, she would probably remember it like this: "The country had just been attacked. The CIA wanted to round up every character who could even spell Al Qaeda and squeeze them 'til they told us where and when the next attack was coming. The Bush administration was convinced that Iraq was involved. Congress, specifically the intelligence oversight committees and the leadership, were told that questioning would involve more than harsh language and dessert deprivation. Congress was assured that 1) to object would cost thousands of lives and, 2) what they were proposing was shady but mostly legal."
"Not willing to take an unpopular stand, I accepted what I was being told. Waterboarding might have been discussed, I really don't remember. I do remember thinking that if I oppose this action and there is another attack, I couldn't get elected to my grandson's little league board. I made the easy choice and now I'm stuck with it."
None of this changes the larger issue. The government of George W. Bush acted illegally when it tortured detainees. Whether Nancy Pelosi or Bill Clinton or Ted Kennedy or Jesus Christ knew about it changes nothing. Nancy Pelosi does not have the power to absolve the Bush administration. She cannot negate the Constitution or the Geneva Convention. Telling the House Minority Leader (the post Pelosi held from 2003 to 2007) that you are about to commit a crime doesn't make the crime OK. It makes her complicit and subject to whatever penalties are due.
However, if no one plans to charge the actual criminals, it would seem disproportionate to charge any co-conspirators. Madame Speaker would certainly not be the first official to approach the block. She would be lined up behind Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, David Addington, John Yoo, Donald Rumsfeld and a host of others including, of course, George the Lesser.
In Nancy's defense...she has no defense. She needs to stop dancing and tell the truth. Her only course of action is to admit that she probably would have authorized dropping Arabs from a helicopter if it prevented another 9/11. It might not look like the right thing to do by today's standards but, if you weren't there, you can't judge.
What the hell. This approach appears to be working for Dick Cheney.
Therefore, with an eye toward fairness, we will now examine the case of yet another air-headed Miss California, Nancy Pelosi; what did she know and when.
First, Nancy is a politician, which tells you all you need to know about her concept of veracity. She has none. Ms. Pelosi has been a Congresswoman since 1987 and you don't get to spend 22 years in office without learning what to remember and what to forget. Basically, you remember all the stuff you did that worked out well (taking credit at every opportunity), and you forget all the things that ultimately went south. Phrases like "I was sick that day" or "I can't recall every detail" have served elected officials well since the invention of fire (first used to burn the notes from ill-advised meetings).
If Speaker Pelosi were exposed to the "enhanced interrogation techniques" made popular by D. Cheney and his squadron of ass-hats, she would probably remember it like this: "The country had just been attacked. The CIA wanted to round up every character who could even spell Al Qaeda and squeeze them 'til they told us where and when the next attack was coming. The Bush administration was convinced that Iraq was involved. Congress, specifically the intelligence oversight committees and the leadership, were told that questioning would involve more than harsh language and dessert deprivation. Congress was assured that 1) to object would cost thousands of lives and, 2) what they were proposing was shady but mostly legal."
"Not willing to take an unpopular stand, I accepted what I was being told. Waterboarding might have been discussed, I really don't remember. I do remember thinking that if I oppose this action and there is another attack, I couldn't get elected to my grandson's little league board. I made the easy choice and now I'm stuck with it."
None of this changes the larger issue. The government of George W. Bush acted illegally when it tortured detainees. Whether Nancy Pelosi or Bill Clinton or Ted Kennedy or Jesus Christ knew about it changes nothing. Nancy Pelosi does not have the power to absolve the Bush administration. She cannot negate the Constitution or the Geneva Convention. Telling the House Minority Leader (the post Pelosi held from 2003 to 2007) that you are about to commit a crime doesn't make the crime OK. It makes her complicit and subject to whatever penalties are due.
However, if no one plans to charge the actual criminals, it would seem disproportionate to charge any co-conspirators. Madame Speaker would certainly not be the first official to approach the block. She would be lined up behind Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, David Addington, John Yoo, Donald Rumsfeld and a host of others including, of course, George the Lesser.
In Nancy's defense...she has no defense. She needs to stop dancing and tell the truth. Her only course of action is to admit that she probably would have authorized dropping Arabs from a helicopter if it prevented another 9/11. It might not look like the right thing to do by today's standards but, if you weren't there, you can't judge.
What the hell. This approach appears to be working for Dick Cheney.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
...or is America suffering from a tragic proliferation of microphones?
Item
Tell the truth, you are all delighted that Miss California, Carrie Prejean, has been anointed by God to continue the fight for opposite marriage. (Who knew that the Almighty had a terrible blond comb-over and a pink tie?) Yes America, billionaire ass-hat Donald Trump has descended from on high to support Miss Prejean in her hour of need. (Based on some of her photo arrays, some support was clearly in order.)
Ms. Prejean's rise to fame began as a punchline. Interviewed during the "intelligence" portion of the Miss USA pageant (newest definition of oxymoron) about her views on gay marriage, Ms. Prejean stumbled through a defense of America's right to chose, ignoring the fact that she represents a state that prohibits such a choice. Her last comment, before her ability to form complete sentences dissolved into tapioca, was that she thinks marriage should be between a man and a woman. "That's how I was raised". (It was later learned that Ms. Prejean was not, in fact, raised but was assembled from spare parts.)
As we all know, opinions are like nipples, everyone has a few (even if both your opinions and your nipples were acquired at a Nebraska garage sale). Ms. Prejean however, has taken things one step further. She now claims that God was in her head telling her what to say. WOW! At least God picked a place where he had plenty of room to stretch out. Still, you would think God could speak without making a hash of the English language. I know it's not his native tongue but I've heard better syntax from George W. Bush.
Anyway God and Donald Trump have spoken. God may be all powerful but only Donald can allow you to retain your tiara. We can now look forward to endless press conferences and interviews with Ms. Prejean as she attempts to put her bigotry to good use. She has become a spokesperson for the "Heteros Opposed to Marriage for non Opposites" or HOMO. Here's hoping that any public appearances in Silicon Valley won't make her self-conscious.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
And on the subject of people we didn't need to hear from, the offspring of politicians are proving that it's better to keep silent and have people think you're stupid than to open your mouth and prove it. Liz Cheney the (straight) daughter of the Snidely Whiplash of American politics and, Meghan McCain, first child (second marriage) of Grandpa John are all over the news. Most of the comments from these C-list celebs are defensive: Liz defending her father, Meg defending her dress size. Sympathy leans toward Lizzie here. After all Meg isn't stuck with her weight.
Either way, these wannabes make us appreciate the days of Julie Nixon and David Eisenhower. Both resisted the temptation to publicly defend Dad or take a position on any topic in the public domain. (Factoid: Julie and her husband were public supporters of Barack Obama.) Even Chelsea Clinton only went public to help her mother. This idea of trotting out the children of elected officials should have died with Ronald Reagan. No one was going to top that schmorgasbord.
The innermost thoughts of famous kids should be of no more interest than the musings of Bill Clinton's tailor or Gerald Ford's high school football coach.The inclination to listen to any theories, observations or pronouncements put forth by the children of public officials can lead to disastrous consequences. After all, the last time we paid any attention to the scion of a politician we ended up electing him President. Remember how that worked out?
Tell the truth, you are all delighted that Miss California, Carrie Prejean, has been anointed by God to continue the fight for opposite marriage. (Who knew that the Almighty had a terrible blond comb-over and a pink tie?) Yes America, billionaire ass-hat Donald Trump has descended from on high to support Miss Prejean in her hour of need. (Based on some of her photo arrays, some support was clearly in order.)
Ms. Prejean's rise to fame began as a punchline. Interviewed during the "intelligence" portion of the Miss USA pageant (newest definition of oxymoron) about her views on gay marriage, Ms. Prejean stumbled through a defense of America's right to chose, ignoring the fact that she represents a state that prohibits such a choice. Her last comment, before her ability to form complete sentences dissolved into tapioca, was that she thinks marriage should be between a man and a woman. "That's how I was raised". (It was later learned that Ms. Prejean was not, in fact, raised but was assembled from spare parts.)
As we all know, opinions are like nipples, everyone has a few (even if both your opinions and your nipples were acquired at a Nebraska garage sale). Ms. Prejean however, has taken things one step further. She now claims that God was in her head telling her what to say. WOW! At least God picked a place where he had plenty of room to stretch out. Still, you would think God could speak without making a hash of the English language. I know it's not his native tongue but I've heard better syntax from George W. Bush.
Anyway God and Donald Trump have spoken. God may be all powerful but only Donald can allow you to retain your tiara. We can now look forward to endless press conferences and interviews with Ms. Prejean as she attempts to put her bigotry to good use. She has become a spokesperson for the "Heteros Opposed to Marriage for non Opposites" or HOMO. Here's hoping that any public appearances in Silicon Valley won't make her self-conscious.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
And on the subject of people we didn't need to hear from, the offspring of politicians are proving that it's better to keep silent and have people think you're stupid than to open your mouth and prove it. Liz Cheney the (straight) daughter of the Snidely Whiplash of American politics and, Meghan McCain, first child (second marriage) of Grandpa John are all over the news. Most of the comments from these C-list celebs are defensive: Liz defending her father, Meg defending her dress size. Sympathy leans toward Lizzie here. After all Meg isn't stuck with her weight.
Either way, these wannabes make us appreciate the days of Julie Nixon and David Eisenhower. Both resisted the temptation to publicly defend Dad or take a position on any topic in the public domain. (Factoid: Julie and her husband were public supporters of Barack Obama.) Even Chelsea Clinton only went public to help her mother. This idea of trotting out the children of elected officials should have died with Ronald Reagan. No one was going to top that schmorgasbord.
The innermost thoughts of famous kids should be of no more interest than the musings of Bill Clinton's tailor or Gerald Ford's high school football coach.The inclination to listen to any theories, observations or pronouncements put forth by the children of public officials can lead to disastrous consequences. After all, the last time we paid any attention to the scion of a politician we ended up electing him President. Remember how that worked out?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
…or should America stop torturing itself over torture?
Torture is illegal.
Torture is occasionally necessary.
Torture is OK because is works.
Torture is unreliable.
Waterboarding is torture.
Waterboarding isn’t torture.
We should prosecute torturers.
We should prosecute the lawyers who authorized torture.
We should prosecute their bosses.
Prosecuting previous administrations sets a troublesome precedent.
Forget the past. Look to the future. (Easy for John McCain. At his age he can't remember the name of his first wife.)
Dick Cheney is a patriot.
Dick Cheney is a war criminal.
Dick Cheney is a megalomanical ass hat. (This isn't actually part of the debate. I just like saying it.)
Jeez!
All of you who wish this entire issue would disappear, signify by raising your hands. Put your hand down, Barack. You don't get off that easy.
After you have discounted the righteous indignation of the liberal left, the stupidity and misdirection of the radio right, and the stupefying arrogance of the previous administration, you are left with a few troubling facts:
There is no doubt that America tortured suspected enemies over the last six years to determine what evil, if anything, was being planned as a follow-up to 9-11. Parsing definitions and creating euphemisms like "enhanced interrogation techniques" misses the point. If we think you have information, we are going to hurt you until you tell us what you know.
After World War II, the United States and its Allies prosecuted 5,600 Japanese military and civilian officials for war crimes including, specifically, waterboarding. This was not a gray area then and it's not a gray area now.
The attacks of Sept. 11, 2001 were a stunning national shock. Not knowing what might be coming next, the Bush Administration was determined not to let niceties like the Geneva Convention prevent them from protecting America, "by whatever means necessary."
Because Barack Omaba was not in charge when the towers fell, he is slow to criticise the response of those who were. I suspect it takes about twenty minutes in the Oval Office before you realize that sometimes you have bad choices and worse choices. President Obama would do well to replace the slogan, "The Buck Stops Here" with "Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged."
There should, however, be a statute of limitations on bad choices. The Presidential sins of 2001 and 2002 should not be continued out into 2007. The fig-leaf memos written by the White House Counselors to CYA the CIA were circulated in 2004. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was waterboarded 183 times. Whatever understandable grace period the Bush Administration can point to should probably not stretch for seven years. Lincoln, Grant, and FDR all violated the Constitution by suspending habeas corpus--but not indefinitely.
At the end of the day, it is extremely unlikely that anyone will serve time for the treatment of detainees at Gitmo or Abu Ghraib (except for a few scape-goated soldiers like Lynndie England). Like the situation with OJ, we may have to live with justice denied. If we come away with a renewed sense of right and wrong, the case of America vs. Detainees may not be a total waste. It may be possible to believe that, while disinclined to admit mistakes and apologize, Americans might feel just a little sheepish about defending the actions of our former administration. Many said so when they pulled a lever for Barack Omaba.
Torture is occasionally necessary.
Torture is OK because is works.
Torture is unreliable.
Waterboarding is torture.
Waterboarding isn’t torture.
We should prosecute torturers.
We should prosecute the lawyers who authorized torture.
We should prosecute their bosses.
Prosecuting previous administrations sets a troublesome precedent.
Forget the past. Look to the future. (Easy for John McCain. At his age he can't remember the name of his first wife.)
Dick Cheney is a patriot.
Dick Cheney is a war criminal.
Dick Cheney is a megalomanical ass hat. (This isn't actually part of the debate. I just like saying it.)
Jeez!
All of you who wish this entire issue would disappear, signify by raising your hands. Put your hand down, Barack. You don't get off that easy.
After you have discounted the righteous indignation of the liberal left, the stupidity and misdirection of the radio right, and the stupefying arrogance of the previous administration, you are left with a few troubling facts:
There is no doubt that America tortured suspected enemies over the last six years to determine what evil, if anything, was being planned as a follow-up to 9-11. Parsing definitions and creating euphemisms like "enhanced interrogation techniques" misses the point. If we think you have information, we are going to hurt you until you tell us what you know.
After World War II, the United States and its Allies prosecuted 5,600 Japanese military and civilian officials for war crimes including, specifically, waterboarding. This was not a gray area then and it's not a gray area now.
The attacks of Sept. 11, 2001 were a stunning national shock. Not knowing what might be coming next, the Bush Administration was determined not to let niceties like the Geneva Convention prevent them from protecting America, "by whatever means necessary."
Because Barack Omaba was not in charge when the towers fell, he is slow to criticise the response of those who were. I suspect it takes about twenty minutes in the Oval Office before you realize that sometimes you have bad choices and worse choices. President Obama would do well to replace the slogan, "The Buck Stops Here" with "Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged."
There should, however, be a statute of limitations on bad choices. The Presidential sins of 2001 and 2002 should not be continued out into 2007. The fig-leaf memos written by the White House Counselors to CYA the CIA were circulated in 2004. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was waterboarded 183 times. Whatever understandable grace period the Bush Administration can point to should probably not stretch for seven years. Lincoln, Grant, and FDR all violated the Constitution by suspending habeas corpus--but not indefinitely.
At the end of the day, it is extremely unlikely that anyone will serve time for the treatment of detainees at Gitmo or Abu Ghraib (except for a few scape-goated soldiers like Lynndie England). Like the situation with OJ, we may have to live with justice denied. If we come away with a renewed sense of right and wrong, the case of America vs. Detainees may not be a total waste. It may be possible to believe that, while disinclined to admit mistakes and apologize, Americans might feel just a little sheepish about defending the actions of our former administration. Many said so when they pulled a lever for Barack Omaba.
Monday, May 11, 2009
...or do you have trouble deciding how you feel about indecision?
Isitjustme has been resting for the last few months. After all, with the pestilence of GWB no longer upon us (seriously, doesn't food taste better these days?) and with the country in the hands of Saint Barak (may his children be fruitful and multiply) there isn't much to get excited about. Nevertheless, the world turns and there are still some issues that occasionally escape our notice. To wit:
Item
Our friends at the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are back in the news. In case you forgot, this is the the happy band of God-squaders who clothe their women in little house on the prairie dresses and shop for wives at Hanna Montana concerts. Last year the Texas Attorney General paid a visit to the sect's compound and bused the children to a safer spot. It seems that there are some Christian practices even Texans find intolerable...and they play with rattlesnakes. The police couldn't tell the wives from the children without a score card.
Anyway, noticeably absent from the photo orgy that followed the raid were the men. It turns out that they were busy hiding the evidence of eccentric matrimonial practices. However, 10 of the groups patriarchs are about to stand trial for molesting children, polygamy, and dressing their women like the road company of Paint Your Wagon. You gotta love organized religion.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Can I possibly be the only person in America who never wants to see another photo of the lady who got the face transplant? My heart goes out to Connie Culp who was shot in the face by her husband (who is serving a mere seven years in prison. Maybe they should have used his face for the transplant). I'm happy that she can eat real food and that her sense of smell is restored. I hope with all my heart that she gets to live something like a normal life. That doesn't mean that I want to see pictures... including the ones of her leaving the Dick Cheney Memorial Hospital for People Shot in the Face.
Some things were not meant to be photographed. Childbirth, Rush Limbaugh naked, Joan Rivers without make-up, Charles Barkley's golf swing all come to mind. Please, let's go back to showing hideous car wrecks and pictures of Britany Spears being arrested.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Government in action. The Delaware Department of Transportation recently issued a pamphlet on racial sensitivity. Not content to encourage common sense as a behavioral guide, the DDOT felt it necessary to include specific guidelines. The document suggests that, in order to avoid giving offense, employees should be discouraged from asking Latino co-workers for help with their landscaping. Other comments to steer clear of include: inquiring of gay employees if they have ever thought of getting help and, that old stand-by, don't offer fried chicken and watermelon to blacks. Curiously absent from the suggestions were: refrain from asking Jewish co-workers for help with your taxes and soliciting laundry advise from those of Asian decent. File this under "you can't make this stuff up".
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Considering the dire pronouncements issued by the CDC, World Health Organization, US Dept. of Health and everyone else on the planet with a medical degree and a microphone, we can suppose that swine flu/N1H1 virus posed a real threat. Oddly enough, the threat appears to have been visited mostly on the swine population. Egypt killed thousands of pigs in their country. Russia and China banned the import of pork products and in a largely symbolic gesture, Afghanistan placed its only pig under house arrest. Apparently the fact that the flu has nothing whatever to do with "swine" was of little import to many of the governments of the earth. Thankfully the disease wasn't called the Bunny Rabbit virus. Easter would have been a blood bath.
There is an inclination to say that swine-flu was much-a-do about nothing. Tell that to the thousands of Mexicans that live off the tourist trade in completely unaffected cities like Puerto Villarta and Playa del Carmen. Still, as plagues go, N1H1 was something of a dud. Calling a global health emergency a pandemic is like calling our current economic circumstance a depression. Gently with the scary titles, people. The Pandemic of 1918 killed millions. The Great Depression had 30% of Americans out of work. Nomenclature matters, especially if you want to be taken seriously next time.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
That great humanitarian, Hank Steinbrenner, has graciously consented to reduce the price of Yankee Stadium's premium seats from $2,500 to $1,250. What a guy! Somebody tell me why there isn't a statue of Hank next to Mother Theresa somewhere? I mean the largess of cutting your price in half is right out of It's a Wonderful Life.
Think about it. Now, that New York City father struggling to pay the mortgage, feed the family and put a little money away for educations can take his family of four to a Yankee game for a paltry ten grand. It's practically socialism. Forget a year at Princeton. Spring for that four-game series with the Red Sox. For the real fan willing to make a few sacrifices like cancelling HBO or trading down to domestic beer, the family can attend every game while saving almost half a million. In these trying times every bit helps.
So lets hear it for Hank Steinbrenner. Just because he got dopey Rudy Giuliani to practically build the stadium for him (the city paid half the construction plus allowed the team to keep 96% of the ticket revenue, all the parking and they pay no property tax) didn't stop the Yankee's boss from extending a helping hand to those in need. As an additional gesture of good will, the section behind home plate is to be renamed in honor of another great American, Bernie Madoff.
Item
Our friends at the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are back in the news. In case you forgot, this is the the happy band of God-squaders who clothe their women in little house on the prairie dresses and shop for wives at Hanna Montana concerts. Last year the Texas Attorney General paid a visit to the sect's compound and bused the children to a safer spot. It seems that there are some Christian practices even Texans find intolerable...and they play with rattlesnakes. The police couldn't tell the wives from the children without a score card.
Anyway, noticeably absent from the photo orgy that followed the raid were the men. It turns out that they were busy hiding the evidence of eccentric matrimonial practices. However, 10 of the groups patriarchs are about to stand trial for molesting children, polygamy, and dressing their women like the road company of Paint Your Wagon. You gotta love organized religion.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Can I possibly be the only person in America who never wants to see another photo of the lady who got the face transplant? My heart goes out to Connie Culp who was shot in the face by her husband (who is serving a mere seven years in prison. Maybe they should have used his face for the transplant). I'm happy that she can eat real food and that her sense of smell is restored. I hope with all my heart that she gets to live something like a normal life. That doesn't mean that I want to see pictures... including the ones of her leaving the Dick Cheney Memorial Hospital for People Shot in the Face.
Some things were not meant to be photographed. Childbirth, Rush Limbaugh naked, Joan Rivers without make-up, Charles Barkley's golf swing all come to mind. Please, let's go back to showing hideous car wrecks and pictures of Britany Spears being arrested.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Government in action. The Delaware Department of Transportation recently issued a pamphlet on racial sensitivity. Not content to encourage common sense as a behavioral guide, the DDOT felt it necessary to include specific guidelines. The document suggests that, in order to avoid giving offense, employees should be discouraged from asking Latino co-workers for help with their landscaping. Other comments to steer clear of include: inquiring of gay employees if they have ever thought of getting help and, that old stand-by, don't offer fried chicken and watermelon to blacks. Curiously absent from the suggestions were: refrain from asking Jewish co-workers for help with your taxes and soliciting laundry advise from those of Asian decent. File this under "you can't make this stuff up".
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Considering the dire pronouncements issued by the CDC, World Health Organization, US Dept. of Health and everyone else on the planet with a medical degree and a microphone, we can suppose that swine flu/N1H1 virus posed a real threat. Oddly enough, the threat appears to have been visited mostly on the swine population. Egypt killed thousands of pigs in their country. Russia and China banned the import of pork products and in a largely symbolic gesture, Afghanistan placed its only pig under house arrest. Apparently the fact that the flu has nothing whatever to do with "swine" was of little import to many of the governments of the earth. Thankfully the disease wasn't called the Bunny Rabbit virus. Easter would have been a blood bath.
There is an inclination to say that swine-flu was much-a-do about nothing. Tell that to the thousands of Mexicans that live off the tourist trade in completely unaffected cities like Puerto Villarta and Playa del Carmen. Still, as plagues go, N1H1 was something of a dud. Calling a global health emergency a pandemic is like calling our current economic circumstance a depression. Gently with the scary titles, people. The Pandemic of 1918 killed millions. The Great Depression had 30% of Americans out of work. Nomenclature matters, especially if you want to be taken seriously next time.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
That great humanitarian, Hank Steinbrenner, has graciously consented to reduce the price of Yankee Stadium's premium seats from $2,500 to $1,250. What a guy! Somebody tell me why there isn't a statue of Hank next to Mother Theresa somewhere? I mean the largess of cutting your price in half is right out of It's a Wonderful Life.
Think about it. Now, that New York City father struggling to pay the mortgage, feed the family and put a little money away for educations can take his family of four to a Yankee game for a paltry ten grand. It's practically socialism. Forget a year at Princeton. Spring for that four-game series with the Red Sox. For the real fan willing to make a few sacrifices like cancelling HBO or trading down to domestic beer, the family can attend every game while saving almost half a million. In these trying times every bit helps.
So lets hear it for Hank Steinbrenner. Just because he got dopey Rudy Giuliani to practically build the stadium for him (the city paid half the construction plus allowed the team to keep 96% of the ticket revenue, all the parking and they pay no property tax) didn't stop the Yankee's boss from extending a helping hand to those in need. As an additional gesture of good will, the section behind home plate is to be renamed in honor of another great American, Bernie Madoff.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
...or will the loss of newspapers offend the fish industry?
Item
Troubles continue to mount for poor Michael Steele. No sooner does he bow and scrape his way out of trouble with the all-powerful King Rush, now he is desperately attempting to explain his way out of the greatest Republican sin of all, the capacity to think for himself. In the words of that great American, Frank Burns, "Individually is fine, so long as we all do it together".
In an interview for GQ (not normally the pinnacle of Republican orthodoxy) Mr. Steele allowed that homosexuality is not a matter of choice and abortion is. Holy platform, Batman! It isn't bad enough that the head of the RNC doesn't look like everybody in the Republican party, he doesn't think like them either.
This situation has put the leaders of the GOP in a terrible spot. If they jettison Michael Steele, the closest thing the Republicans will have to a black member will be Bobby Jindal and John Boehner. (Boehner appears to have purchased all the skin pigmentation that Michael Jackson wasn't using.) Besides, candidates willing to swim toward the sinking Republican ship aren't exactly lining up around the block. It would be easier to hire a food taster for Rush Limbaugh.
WANTED: FOOD TASTER FOR RUSH LIMBAUGH Must be courageous and really quick with a fork.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa, ever anxious to prove that Mid-Westerners aren't just about American ideals, has suggested a Japanese solution to the problem of AIG and their bonuses. The Senator proposes that the offending executives: 1) apologize to America (he was unclear as to whether they should apologize for taking the money or running the American economy off a cliff) and 2) killing themselves. Resignation was proposed as an option to suicide but discounted as less desirable for TV ratings. This statement was met with outrage by the Japanese who understand that seppuku is an honorable death and therefore totally unsuitable for any American executive.
The Democrats have promised a vigorous challenge for Sen. Grassley's Senate seat in 2010. Doctor Jack Kevorkian is considered an early frontrunner.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Meanwhile, back in Iowa...the State Department of Naming Stuff has decided to rename the Department of Elder Affairs (presumably to alleviate confusion regarding geriatric love trysts) to the Department of Aging. Senior citizens were predictably outraged that the new acronym for their primary government agency was DOA.
Troubles continue to mount for poor Michael Steele. No sooner does he bow and scrape his way out of trouble with the all-powerful King Rush, now he is desperately attempting to explain his way out of the greatest Republican sin of all, the capacity to think for himself. In the words of that great American, Frank Burns, "Individually is fine, so long as we all do it together".
In an interview for GQ (not normally the pinnacle of Republican orthodoxy) Mr. Steele allowed that homosexuality is not a matter of choice and abortion is. Holy platform, Batman! It isn't bad enough that the head of the RNC doesn't look like everybody in the Republican party, he doesn't think like them either.
This situation has put the leaders of the GOP in a terrible spot. If they jettison Michael Steele, the closest thing the Republicans will have to a black member will be Bobby Jindal and John Boehner. (Boehner appears to have purchased all the skin pigmentation that Michael Jackson wasn't using.) Besides, candidates willing to swim toward the sinking Republican ship aren't exactly lining up around the block. It would be easier to hire a food taster for Rush Limbaugh.
WANTED: FOOD TASTER FOR RUSH LIMBAUGH Must be courageous and really quick with a fork.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa, ever anxious to prove that Mid-Westerners aren't just about American ideals, has suggested a Japanese solution to the problem of AIG and their bonuses. The Senator proposes that the offending executives: 1) apologize to America (he was unclear as to whether they should apologize for taking the money or running the American economy off a cliff) and 2) killing themselves. Resignation was proposed as an option to suicide but discounted as less desirable for TV ratings. This statement was met with outrage by the Japanese who understand that seppuku is an honorable death and therefore totally unsuitable for any American executive.
The Democrats have promised a vigorous challenge for Sen. Grassley's Senate seat in 2010. Doctor Jack Kevorkian is considered an early frontrunner.
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Item
Meanwhile, back in Iowa...the State Department of Naming Stuff has decided to rename the Department of Elder Affairs (presumably to alleviate confusion regarding geriatric love trysts) to the Department of Aging. Senior citizens were predictably outraged that the new acronym for their primary government agency was DOA.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
...or should we pray for Catholic Church 2.0?
Item
Pope Benedict XVI has been expressing concern at the level of abuse he's received over the attempted reconciliation between the RCC and the Pius X Society, represented by the always lively Bishop Richard Williamson. His Holiness swears he was totally unaware of Bishop Williamson's rather novel view on world history circa 1936 through 1945. Williamson's take on the Holocaust is "much to-do about not much".Critics of the Church are incredulous that the Holy See was oblivious to the opinions of Bishop Williamson. Rome was advised that a simple Google search would have produced all the necessary information.
Tragically, the Vicar of Christ appears technologically challenged. Ask him anything about the teaching in the Baltimore Catechism and he can recite for hours. On the subject of obscure ecclesiastic texts, he'll bring tears to your eyes. However, put him in front of a computer and he can't tell a mouse pad from a patten. He believes that a cursor should clean up his language and go to confession(rim shot!). The rest of the Vatican isn't much better. It took the entire Roman Curia two days to replace the toner in the only printer in St. Peters.
Clearly the Church is due for an IT upgrade. Some suggestions for improving the technology of Catholicism include: online confession with written penances (see how you like typing out the Our Father ten times); mite boxes that can be filled by paypal; a photoshop app that puts ashes on your facebook photo. The possibilities are endless. Papal elections can be held without flying all those elderly Cardinals to Rome. Just have them log in to a secure web site, similar to the way they vote on American Idol. Sadly, some legacy issues will remain. Someone will still have to send up the black and white smoke. The Church might also consider virtual pilgrimages. With just a few chicks of a mouse you too could be on your knees at Fatima or Lourdes and get started on a cure for what ails you.
Regardless of how the Holy See chooses to update the technology, we shouldn't be looking for a online dating service for priests any time soon.
Item
In other ecclesiastic news, the Catholic Church has reinvigorated the concept of indulgences. For those of you raised in religions other than the RCC, an indulgence is a partial or complete reduction of your time in purgatory. To attempt a more detailed explanation would be pointless. If you need more info, search Google.
The only thing you really need to know about indulgences is that the concept of selling them to rich and powerful Catholics (a common practice in Medieval times) caused Martin Luther to decorate the Cathedral in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517.
How Catholics get to heaven is of no particular interest to the other 75% of America who listen to voices other than Benedict XVI. What is interesting is the bigger picture, namely the seemingly perverse desire on the part of the Catholic Church to make headlines. Seriously, when was the last time you read a newspaper story about Methodists or Lutherans? Aside from the recent controversy on gay bishops affecting Presbyterians and the recent flap over Mormon crickets, no other Christian group appears interested in stories above the fold. Whether it's denying Communion to proponents of abortion or prohibiting gays from meeting in Church halls, the Catholics are media crazy. Each time the Pope steps in front of a microphone or picks up a pen, someone is getting their theological knickers in a wad. Who's doing PR at the Vatican, Amy Winehouse? It's religion, not Praying With The Stars.
Late breaking news. Live from Yaounde, Cameroon...the Pope has explained to sub-Sahara Africa, home to 22 million HIV infected people, that condoms are not the answer. Quod erat demonstrandum.
___________________________________________________________________
Pope Benedict XVI has been expressing concern at the level of abuse he's received over the attempted reconciliation between the RCC and the Pius X Society, represented by the always lively Bishop Richard Williamson. His Holiness swears he was totally unaware of Bishop Williamson's rather novel view on world history circa 1936 through 1945. Williamson's take on the Holocaust is "much to-do about not much".Critics of the Church are incredulous that the Holy See was oblivious to the opinions of Bishop Williamson. Rome was advised that a simple Google search would have produced all the necessary information.
Tragically, the Vicar of Christ appears technologically challenged. Ask him anything about the teaching in the Baltimore Catechism and he can recite for hours. On the subject of obscure ecclesiastic texts, he'll bring tears to your eyes. However, put him in front of a computer and he can't tell a mouse pad from a patten. He believes that a cursor should clean up his language and go to confession(rim shot!). The rest of the Vatican isn't much better. It took the entire Roman Curia two days to replace the toner in the only printer in St. Peters.
Clearly the Church is due for an IT upgrade. Some suggestions for improving the technology of Catholicism include: online confession with written penances (see how you like typing out the Our Father ten times); mite boxes that can be filled by paypal; a photoshop app that puts ashes on your facebook photo. The possibilities are endless. Papal elections can be held without flying all those elderly Cardinals to Rome. Just have them log in to a secure web site, similar to the way they vote on American Idol. Sadly, some legacy issues will remain. Someone will still have to send up the black and white smoke. The Church might also consider virtual pilgrimages. With just a few chicks of a mouse you too could be on your knees at Fatima or Lourdes and get started on a cure for what ails you.
Regardless of how the Holy See chooses to update the technology, we shouldn't be looking for a online dating service for priests any time soon.
Item
In other ecclesiastic news, the Catholic Church has reinvigorated the concept of indulgences. For those of you raised in religions other than the RCC, an indulgence is a partial or complete reduction of your time in purgatory. To attempt a more detailed explanation would be pointless. If you need more info, search Google.
The only thing you really need to know about indulgences is that the concept of selling them to rich and powerful Catholics (a common practice in Medieval times) caused Martin Luther to decorate the Cathedral in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517.
How Catholics get to heaven is of no particular interest to the other 75% of America who listen to voices other than Benedict XVI. What is interesting is the bigger picture, namely the seemingly perverse desire on the part of the Catholic Church to make headlines. Seriously, when was the last time you read a newspaper story about Methodists or Lutherans? Aside from the recent controversy on gay bishops affecting Presbyterians and the recent flap over Mormon crickets, no other Christian group appears interested in stories above the fold. Whether it's denying Communion to proponents of abortion or prohibiting gays from meeting in Church halls, the Catholics are media crazy. Each time the Pope steps in front of a microphone or picks up a pen, someone is getting their theological knickers in a wad. Who's doing PR at the Vatican, Amy Winehouse? It's religion, not Praying With The Stars.
Late breaking news. Live from Yaounde, Cameroon...the Pope has explained to sub-Sahara Africa, home to 22 million HIV infected people, that condoms are not the answer. Quod erat demonstrandum.
___________________________________________________________________
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
...or is the Republican party completely incapable of tearing a hole in the Limbaugh airbag?
When Newt Gingrich is the voice of reason in your political party, you have a problem. When a recent straw poll among Republicans lists Ron Paul and Sarah Palin among the top four choices as Presidential candidate in 2010, you have troubles. When Michael Steele, the man elected to run the Republican National Committee, is too spineless to engage a whoopee cushion like R. Limbaugh, you need a new plan...and a new RNC Chairman. In other words, the GOP has decided to ignore the time-tested axiom: when you're already in a hole, stop digging.
The Republicans are sinking into irrelevancy and Admiral Limbaugh is throwing them a daily supply of anvils. Astronomers at NASA are wagering as to whether Rush's ego or his belt size will be first to reach planetary proportions. The joy of Limbaugh is he thinks he's helping. Meanwhile, any Republican with an IQ in three digits is scurrying to re-brand himself as a libertarian. Can the rebirth of the Whigs be far behind?
Like the Democrats after Jimmy Carter, the current minority party has been left without an issue. Attacking Barak Obama is hopeless. He is wildly popular and endlessly charismatic. The country sees him doing everything possible to right the economic ship. At least he's trying. The Republicans who oppose his efforts appear petty and small. To vote for Presidential failure borders on treason. Opponents such as Grandpa McCain and Mitch McConnell complain about deficits yet preach tax cuts. Even tax-averse Americans are confused by this logic. John (How do you get your skin that color?) Boehner of Ohio, is hard-pressed to explain to unemployed citizens of his state why stimulus is such a bad idea. A little government pork would be a welcome relief to families living on Raman noodles.
No one really knows if the steps taken by the current administration will improve our economy or make things worse. What we do know is that America elected Barak Obama to try and make things better; or at least less bad. In the meantime, we can all share a chuckle as the Republicans try to slow the Obama juggernaut long enough to create a few resonant sound bites. Just as the GOP was labeling the STIM as out-of- control spending, Obama was on to the budget. As the Republicans sputtered to call the budget "earmark central", Barak was pitching healthcare. By the way, is anyone else worried that John McCain will give himself a seizure pounding the podium in opposition to earmark spending? Especially now that his wife isn't standing behind him with the glycerin pills. The administration is moving so fast that the Republicans didn't even stop to criticize Obama's Iraq strategy. By the time McConnell or Boehner gets to the lectern to decry something proposed by the administration, two new initiatives are making headlines. It's like watching a hitter trying to catch up to a fast ball.
As for Mr. Limbaugh, you have to admit, for a blimp he's pretty agile. He rarely attacks his critics directly, except for the pitiful Mr. Steele who is clearly fighting out of his weight class. Limbaugh professes to be about ideology not politics. That's like being interested in bracketology but not basketball. This guy is Billy Sunday, Carrie Nation and Huey Long all rolled into one (with room left over for Elmer Gantry). He professes to speak to "the people", Sarah Palin's Real Americans. In truth he preaches only to the converted. His audience is old, white and angry.
Oddly, they are the very tax paying citizens who will benefit first from "socialist" programs like social security, medicare, medicaid, prescription drug benefits and Obama's healthcare. They profess a belief in the market economy but curse the company that closes a plant in their town to save jobs elsewhere. They bemoan the loss of American ideals but reject the fundamental ideal of the melting pot. They lament prayer in schools but are suspicious of a mosque in their town. Things seemed simpler when Eisenhower or Reagan was in office. I suspect that Americans living through the turbulent days of Lyndon Johnson longed for the calmer times of Herbert Hoover or Cal Coolidge.
We live in scary times and people have a right to be apprehensive. Crumbling financial institutions and mounting foreclosures fill the broadcast media and whatever newspapers are left. People feel powerless and victimized. Tragically, this is fertile ground for the Limbaughs, Hannitys and Becks. Safe behind a microphone, they provide simple answers that are little more than bromides. According to them, all would be well if only: all illegal aliens went home, all Muslims/Arabs embarked for west Asia, black people stopped crying about their rights and went back to mopping the floor, consumers ignored quality issues and bought American, we prayed in school and displayed the Ten Commandments in courthouses, and mostly, we returned to the Christian fundamentals upon which this Country was founded.
Well guess what? We aren't going back. This 2009 not 1955. The way out is the way forward. Nostalgia is charming in film but it sucks as a national strategy. America, if you must listen to Limbaugh & Co., please do so with the same eyes as you would Happy Days and American Graffiti. Imagine Garrison Keiller, only with horns and a tail.
The Republicans are sinking into irrelevancy and Admiral Limbaugh is throwing them a daily supply of anvils. Astronomers at NASA are wagering as to whether Rush's ego or his belt size will be first to reach planetary proportions. The joy of Limbaugh is he thinks he's helping. Meanwhile, any Republican with an IQ in three digits is scurrying to re-brand himself as a libertarian. Can the rebirth of the Whigs be far behind?
Like the Democrats after Jimmy Carter, the current minority party has been left without an issue. Attacking Barak Obama is hopeless. He is wildly popular and endlessly charismatic. The country sees him doing everything possible to right the economic ship. At least he's trying. The Republicans who oppose his efforts appear petty and small. To vote for Presidential failure borders on treason. Opponents such as Grandpa McCain and Mitch McConnell complain about deficits yet preach tax cuts. Even tax-averse Americans are confused by this logic. John (How do you get your skin that color?) Boehner of Ohio, is hard-pressed to explain to unemployed citizens of his state why stimulus is such a bad idea. A little government pork would be a welcome relief to families living on Raman noodles.
No one really knows if the steps taken by the current administration will improve our economy or make things worse. What we do know is that America elected Barak Obama to try and make things better; or at least less bad. In the meantime, we can all share a chuckle as the Republicans try to slow the Obama juggernaut long enough to create a few resonant sound bites. Just as the GOP was labeling the STIM as out-of- control spending, Obama was on to the budget. As the Republicans sputtered to call the budget "earmark central", Barak was pitching healthcare. By the way, is anyone else worried that John McCain will give himself a seizure pounding the podium in opposition to earmark spending? Especially now that his wife isn't standing behind him with the glycerin pills. The administration is moving so fast that the Republicans didn't even stop to criticize Obama's Iraq strategy. By the time McConnell or Boehner gets to the lectern to decry something proposed by the administration, two new initiatives are making headlines. It's like watching a hitter trying to catch up to a fast ball.
As for Mr. Limbaugh, you have to admit, for a blimp he's pretty agile. He rarely attacks his critics directly, except for the pitiful Mr. Steele who is clearly fighting out of his weight class. Limbaugh professes to be about ideology not politics. That's like being interested in bracketology but not basketball. This guy is Billy Sunday, Carrie Nation and Huey Long all rolled into one (with room left over for Elmer Gantry). He professes to speak to "the people", Sarah Palin's Real Americans. In truth he preaches only to the converted. His audience is old, white and angry.
Oddly, they are the very tax paying citizens who will benefit first from "socialist" programs like social security, medicare, medicaid, prescription drug benefits and Obama's healthcare. They profess a belief in the market economy but curse the company that closes a plant in their town to save jobs elsewhere. They bemoan the loss of American ideals but reject the fundamental ideal of the melting pot. They lament prayer in schools but are suspicious of a mosque in their town. Things seemed simpler when Eisenhower or Reagan was in office. I suspect that Americans living through the turbulent days of Lyndon Johnson longed for the calmer times of Herbert Hoover or Cal Coolidge.
We live in scary times and people have a right to be apprehensive. Crumbling financial institutions and mounting foreclosures fill the broadcast media and whatever newspapers are left. People feel powerless and victimized. Tragically, this is fertile ground for the Limbaughs, Hannitys and Becks. Safe behind a microphone, they provide simple answers that are little more than bromides. According to them, all would be well if only: all illegal aliens went home, all Muslims/Arabs embarked for west Asia, black people stopped crying about their rights and went back to mopping the floor, consumers ignored quality issues and bought American, we prayed in school and displayed the Ten Commandments in courthouses, and mostly, we returned to the Christian fundamentals upon which this Country was founded.
Well guess what? We aren't going back. This 2009 not 1955. The way out is the way forward. Nostalgia is charming in film but it sucks as a national strategy. America, if you must listen to Limbaugh & Co., please do so with the same eyes as you would Happy Days and American Graffiti. Imagine Garrison Keiller, only with horns and a tail.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
...or does Bobby Jindal need a trip to Communispond?
Rule #1 Button your jacket.
Bobby "don't call me Piyush" Jindal, Republican Governor of Louisiana, was accorded the dubious honor last night of following America's rock star President. This was the entertainment equivalent of Joaquin Phoenix following Chris Rock. Immediately after President Obama's tour-de-force presentation in front of a joint session of Congress, Governor Buzzkill was required to explain in ten minutes or less why: a) Obama's way forward is all wet, and b) why obstructing the President at every turn is a formula for success and prosperity. This would have been a tall order for an orator with skills. For Governor Jindal it was a public service announcement after the Super Bowl.
Governor Jindal is a smart guy. Having rejected Yale Law and Harvard Medical, he received a Masters in Political Science from Oxford. Rhodes Scholars rarely find their way into the ranks of Louisiana Politicians. The State that gave America Huey Long, Governor Edwin Edwards (currently a guest of the State) and David Duke former State Representative and grand wizard of the KKK, is justifiably proud when one of their own isn't introduced to America doing the perp walk. Louisiana politicians generally arrive in the national spotlight via either federal custody or pending witness protection.
This Governor is a contradiction at every turn. Having been raised a Hindu, he converted to Catholicism in high school. Thus, he can now eat burgers on six of the seven days of the week. His intelligence makes him stand out among Republicans even more than his complexion. (Standing with the Senate Republican Caucus, they look like the road company of Gunga Din.) He is referred to in political circles as a policy wonk, which apparently means that he actually reads most of the legislation he signs. This trait would have caused considerable snickering in the Bush White House where Cliff Notes were all the rage.
Sending Governor Jindal to rebut the President's plan was almost cruel. Bobby may be many things but a speechafier isn't one. He might as well have been a commentator for Canadian TV. As a rule of thumb, your spokesman's tie shouldn't make a flashier statement than he does. Watching Bobby Jindal attempt a justification for inaction, I was reminded of another Rhodes Scholar turned politician, Bill Bradley. Although a Democrat, Bradley shared many of the same traits evidenced by Governor Jindal. Both are extremely intelligent. (Jindal's light shines brighter amid the dim bulbs of his fellows.) Both had a love for the details of politics and legislation. Sadly, as communicators both men were about as exciting as the robe closet at the Supreme Court.
Because the attention span of the American voter runs to nano-seconds, politicans need to grab and hold their audiences long enough to jam a fact or two in their ears. Bradley, while gifted, was the national cure for insomnia. We wish Governor Jindal better luck. He does have one thing going for him. He has, thus far, never been photographed holding up a number. No mean feat for a son of Louisiana.
Bobby "don't call me Piyush" Jindal, Republican Governor of Louisiana, was accorded the dubious honor last night of following America's rock star President. This was the entertainment equivalent of Joaquin Phoenix following Chris Rock. Immediately after President Obama's tour-de-force presentation in front of a joint session of Congress, Governor Buzzkill was required to explain in ten minutes or less why: a) Obama's way forward is all wet, and b) why obstructing the President at every turn is a formula for success and prosperity. This would have been a tall order for an orator with skills. For Governor Jindal it was a public service announcement after the Super Bowl.
Governor Jindal is a smart guy. Having rejected Yale Law and Harvard Medical, he received a Masters in Political Science from Oxford. Rhodes Scholars rarely find their way into the ranks of Louisiana Politicians. The State that gave America Huey Long, Governor Edwin Edwards (currently a guest of the State) and David Duke former State Representative and grand wizard of the KKK, is justifiably proud when one of their own isn't introduced to America doing the perp walk. Louisiana politicians generally arrive in the national spotlight via either federal custody or pending witness protection.
This Governor is a contradiction at every turn. Having been raised a Hindu, he converted to Catholicism in high school. Thus, he can now eat burgers on six of the seven days of the week. His intelligence makes him stand out among Republicans even more than his complexion. (Standing with the Senate Republican Caucus, they look like the road company of Gunga Din.) He is referred to in political circles as a policy wonk, which apparently means that he actually reads most of the legislation he signs. This trait would have caused considerable snickering in the Bush White House where Cliff Notes were all the rage.
Sending Governor Jindal to rebut the President's plan was almost cruel. Bobby may be many things but a speechafier isn't one. He might as well have been a commentator for Canadian TV. As a rule of thumb, your spokesman's tie shouldn't make a flashier statement than he does. Watching Bobby Jindal attempt a justification for inaction, I was reminded of another Rhodes Scholar turned politician, Bill Bradley. Although a Democrat, Bradley shared many of the same traits evidenced by Governor Jindal. Both are extremely intelligent. (Jindal's light shines brighter amid the dim bulbs of his fellows.) Both had a love for the details of politics and legislation. Sadly, as communicators both men were about as exciting as the robe closet at the Supreme Court.
Because the attention span of the American voter runs to nano-seconds, politicans need to grab and hold their audiences long enough to jam a fact or two in their ears. Bradley, while gifted, was the national cure for insomnia. We wish Governor Jindal better luck. He does have one thing going for him. He has, thus far, never been photographed holding up a number. No mean feat for a son of Louisiana.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
...or is suppressing your gag reflex becoming a full-time job?
Attend the tale of the juvenile justice system in Northeastern Pennsylvania. Imagine that your son or daughter has been arrested and charged with attending a party where underage kids were drinking or, writing their name on a building wall or, defaming the character of a teacher on the internet. You're embarrassed as your repentant offspring is hauled in front of a judge. You're expecting a stern reprimand directed at both your child and most probably, at you. Imagine your surprise when, instead of a tongue-lashing, your child is sentenced to three months in a correctional facility.
Such was the fate of an estimated 5,000 (yes, 5,000!) young people in Luzerne County in Northeastern Pennsylvania. It seems that two judges, Michael Conahan and Mark Ciavarella, Jr cooked up a nifty scheme to not only rid the streets of budding delinquents but make a nice buck in the bargain. Judge Conahan secured a contract with two privately run youth detention centers operated by PA Child Care whereby, in return for a small gratuity, Judge Ciavarella would keep the company's facility stocked with miscreants. The total payoff ran to something north of $2.6 million.
Because judges are among the last remaining absolute monarchs in the world, the plan went unchallenged for eight years. Conahan was president judge in control of the budget and Ciavarella ran the juvenile division. It's a wonder these guys were ever caught. According to their plea agreement, both judges will serve 87 months in prison. (For the mathematically challenged, that's 7 years, 3 months.) And you thought Charles Dickens just made those stories up, didn't you?
Such was the fate of an estimated 5,000 (yes, 5,000!) young people in Luzerne County in Northeastern Pennsylvania. It seems that two judges, Michael Conahan and Mark Ciavarella, Jr cooked up a nifty scheme to not only rid the streets of budding delinquents but make a nice buck in the bargain. Judge Conahan secured a contract with two privately run youth detention centers operated by PA Child Care whereby, in return for a small gratuity, Judge Ciavarella would keep the company's facility stocked with miscreants. The total payoff ran to something north of $2.6 million.
Because judges are among the last remaining absolute monarchs in the world, the plan went unchallenged for eight years. Conahan was president judge in control of the budget and Ciavarella ran the juvenile division. It's a wonder these guys were ever caught. According to their plea agreement, both judges will serve 87 months in prison. (For the mathematically challenged, that's 7 years, 3 months.) And you thought Charles Dickens just made those stories up, didn't you?
Friday, February 13, 2009
or Stupid is as stupid does volume II
Dateline - An undisclosed location
As for the former Vice President, the only word that comes to mind is despicable. What else do you call someone who deliberately encourages America's enemies to attack this country? In case you missed it, Cheney was interviewed after the inauguration and stated flatly that the policies of Barak Obama will almost certainly bring about an attack by our enemies. In other words, if we don't continue to incarcerate people indefinitely without trials, if we don't torture suspected terrorists, if we don't strip American citizens of every conceivable civil right in the search for bad guys, we can expect something to blow up in America very soon. Are you listening, Osama?
This is a first. No ex-President or ex-Vice President in modern times has ever attacked a new administration in such a visceral and mean-spirited manner. Even Nixon kept his trap shut. Not only is it bad form, (like that ever stopped Cheney before) it's reckless. Cheney is an insider. If he asserts that the country is more vulnerable why wouldn't the terrorists take him at his word?
This is not a Republican position, nor does it conform to the standard definition of Conservative. This is a twisted, misguided illusion that safety only possible if Dick Cheney is at the helm. according to his rules it is perfectly permissible to destroy the country in order to save it. This isn't patriotism, it's megalomania. You don't get to wrap yourself in the flag here because nothing is more anti-American than the suspension of Constitutional rights. We allow Nazis to march in the streets because freedom of speech has real meaning in America. We allow guilty criminals to escape justice because laws designed to protect all of us, also protect them. We permit citizens to burn the American flag because , even if we must hold our collective noses, freedom in America has the force of law.
The country that reveres the 400,000 Americans dead in World War II nevertheless shrinks from the idea that more lives might be lost here at home because we are a free society. Rights and freedoms have a price and that price might very well include the additional loss of civilian life in America. Our laws protect us to a point but they also allow freedom to our enemies. I can think of no law or restriction that would have prevented the destruction of the World Trade Center and the notion that George Bush and his Patriot Act has prevented another disaster is wishful thinking. Of course, we should do everything possible, within the framework of the Constitution, to prevent another 9-11, but shredding the body of laws under which we live to achieve a modicum of safety is an unacceptable compromise.
Believe me, you don't want to live in Dick Cheney's America.
As for the former Vice President, the only word that comes to mind is despicable. What else do you call someone who deliberately encourages America's enemies to attack this country? In case you missed it, Cheney was interviewed after the inauguration and stated flatly that the policies of Barak Obama will almost certainly bring about an attack by our enemies. In other words, if we don't continue to incarcerate people indefinitely without trials, if we don't torture suspected terrorists, if we don't strip American citizens of every conceivable civil right in the search for bad guys, we can expect something to blow up in America very soon. Are you listening, Osama?
This is a first. No ex-President or ex-Vice President in modern times has ever attacked a new administration in such a visceral and mean-spirited manner. Even Nixon kept his trap shut. Not only is it bad form, (like that ever stopped Cheney before) it's reckless. Cheney is an insider. If he asserts that the country is more vulnerable why wouldn't the terrorists take him at his word?
This is not a Republican position, nor does it conform to the standard definition of Conservative. This is a twisted, misguided illusion that safety only possible if Dick Cheney is at the helm. according to his rules it is perfectly permissible to destroy the country in order to save it. This isn't patriotism, it's megalomania. You don't get to wrap yourself in the flag here because nothing is more anti-American than the suspension of Constitutional rights. We allow Nazis to march in the streets because freedom of speech has real meaning in America. We allow guilty criminals to escape justice because laws designed to protect all of us, also protect them. We permit citizens to burn the American flag because , even if we must hold our collective noses, freedom in America has the force of law.
The country that reveres the 400,000 Americans dead in World War II nevertheless shrinks from the idea that more lives might be lost here at home because we are a free society. Rights and freedoms have a price and that price might very well include the additional loss of civilian life in America. Our laws protect us to a point but they also allow freedom to our enemies. I can think of no law or restriction that would have prevented the destruction of the World Trade Center and the notion that George Bush and his Patriot Act has prevented another disaster is wishful thinking. Of course, we should do everything possible, within the framework of the Constitution, to prevent another 9-11, but shredding the body of laws under which we live to achieve a modicum of safety is an unacceptable compromise.
Believe me, you don't want to live in Dick Cheney's America.
Friday, February 06, 2009
...or is "Stupid is as stupid does" becoming the new world order?
Maybe it was the tainted peanut butter. Maybe he was just tired of seeing Barak Obama grab all the headlines. There must be some explanation for the actions of Pope Benedict XVI beyond his being a crabby, miserable geriatrics who is drifting into irrelevancy. Whatever the reason, he has proven that no good deed does unpunished.
Dateline: Rome
Having already made every effort to offend the Muslims in 2006, The Vicar of Christ decided to take a page from the George W. Bush Isolationist Handbook and see if he couldn't stir up the Jews. One can imagine the Pope coming down to breakfast and announcing to his staff that he has had a great idea. "Let's reinstate Bishop Richard Williamson and the other three excommunicated dinosaurs who were consecrated by every body's favorite schismatic, Cardinal Marcel Lefebvre. Not only will we win points with the Society of Pius X (more later) but we will aggravate all the Jews and most of the Germans." (Actually the German people are probably sick of wearing a hair shirt over something that happened before most of them were born.)
Always the cut-up, Bishop Williamson repaid the Pope's kindness by proclaiming his assertion that the Holocaust was a radically overstated misunderstanding; actually something of a rounding error in the WWII death toll. According to him, a few Jews were killed (seemingly by accident) but not as part of any state-sponsored genocide. Certainly no gas chambers were used. Boy, wait until Steven Spielberg finds out. This bit of revisionist history has had the effect of making Benedict XVI look like a both a Jew-hater and a bad German, a rare two-fer.
The Vatican's public relations cleanup squad was quick to assert that the Pope was only trying to heal a rift with Cardinal Lefebvre and the Society of Pius X. The Society apparently believes that any attempt at liberalizing the Catholic Church is Godless and just a damn shame. They have exactly zero use for Vatican II and won't be happy until the Church returns to Latin Masses, unpadded kneelers and penances that involve whips with little knots. Think of the Bush administration but with cassocks. The Catholic Church seems to be up to their mitres in societies that favor "that old-time religion". (see also Opus Dei.)
This Papal tap dance may not have soothed the radical right in the Catholic Church but it sure frosted the good feelings with the Jews that Benedict's predecessor had tried to foster. Hopefully the Pope wasn't planning a trip to Jerusalem anytime soon, or to Germany either. People who disavow the Holocaust in der Fatherland end up in jail. Benedict now finds himself with: 1) an angry Germany, 2) angry Jews, 3) angry Church liberals and 4) a still unrepentant, off-the- reservation bishop. Talk about your diplomatic triumph. If Benedict could only find a way to annoy women, he'd have the quinella.
Dateline: Rome
Having already made every effort to offend the Muslims in 2006, The Vicar of Christ decided to take a page from the George W. Bush Isolationist Handbook and see if he couldn't stir up the Jews. One can imagine the Pope coming down to breakfast and announcing to his staff that he has had a great idea. "Let's reinstate Bishop Richard Williamson and the other three excommunicated dinosaurs who were consecrated by every body's favorite schismatic, Cardinal Marcel Lefebvre. Not only will we win points with the Society of Pius X (more later) but we will aggravate all the Jews and most of the Germans." (Actually the German people are probably sick of wearing a hair shirt over something that happened before most of them were born.)
Always the cut-up, Bishop Williamson repaid the Pope's kindness by proclaiming his assertion that the Holocaust was a radically overstated misunderstanding; actually something of a rounding error in the WWII death toll. According to him, a few Jews were killed (seemingly by accident) but not as part of any state-sponsored genocide. Certainly no gas chambers were used. Boy, wait until Steven Spielberg finds out. This bit of revisionist history has had the effect of making Benedict XVI look like a both a Jew-hater and a bad German, a rare two-fer.
The Vatican's public relations cleanup squad was quick to assert that the Pope was only trying to heal a rift with Cardinal Lefebvre and the Society of Pius X. The Society apparently believes that any attempt at liberalizing the Catholic Church is Godless and just a damn shame. They have exactly zero use for Vatican II and won't be happy until the Church returns to Latin Masses, unpadded kneelers and penances that involve whips with little knots. Think of the Bush administration but with cassocks. The Catholic Church seems to be up to their mitres in societies that favor "that old-time religion". (see also Opus Dei.)
This Papal tap dance may not have soothed the radical right in the Catholic Church but it sure frosted the good feelings with the Jews that Benedict's predecessor had tried to foster. Hopefully the Pope wasn't planning a trip to Jerusalem anytime soon, or to Germany either. People who disavow the Holocaust in der Fatherland end up in jail. Benedict now finds himself with: 1) an angry Germany, 2) angry Jews, 3) angry Church liberals and 4) a still unrepentant, off-the- reservation bishop. Talk about your diplomatic triumph. If Benedict could only find a way to annoy women, he'd have the quinella.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
...or did penance used to be only five Our Fathers and five Hail Marys?
Confession may be good for the soul but it's hell on your political career. It doesn't do much for your endorsements, either.
Today's papers are full of contrition. We have:
the almost-but-not-quite Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Daschle;
the lesser known Nancy Killefer who was slated to be the President's Chief Performance Officer, whatever that is; and
the all-American boy turned stoner, Michael "Jeff Spicoli" Phelps.
Daschle first.
There was just no way to fix this. By the time the Obama vetters discovered and corrected Daschle's tax problem, the damage was done. If you're working for someone and he gives you something of value and the company declares it as an expense, that's income to you. Bonuses, trips, lavish gifts, and cars equipped with drivers...all income. When you formerly authored tax policy for America, "I didn't realize..." is not the "A" response. Sadly, in a world where the CEO of Merrill Lynch thinks it's OK, under any condition, to install a $87,000 rug in his office; where car company CEO's fly their corporate jets to Washington to beg for cash; where tone-deafness is so pervasive and entitlement so ingrained that John Edwards imagines that he can run for President and shtupp another woman; no one should be surprised.
The big loser here is America. Tom Daschle had three decades as a Washington insider. If anyone could have forged a universal healthcare package and had it passed, it was he. Senators knew and, for the most part, trusted him. Whoever the administration chooses to replace him will be a step down. This is what happens when you get too close to lobbyists and power brokers. Alfred Hitchcock was once asked if he said that actors were cattle. He replied, "I never said that actors were cattle. I said actors should be treated like cattle." Lobbyists may not be scum but, they should certainly be treated as such.
We never got to know Nancy Killefer. Her affiliation with the consulting giant McKinsey & Co. tells me that, as Chief Performance Officer, she would have been terrific at telling other people what was wrong with them and how "you" should fix it. A good friend tells me that consultants are men who know 500 ways to make love but don't know any women. Whatever Nancy's tax issues are we may never know. However, there may be a power point presentation in our future.
Whether you are in the tank for Obama (and most of us are) or not, you have to be impressed with the grace of the man. First, he takes responsibility; not my staff, not my information gatherers...me. "I screwed up". If Dick Nixon had tried that, he would have completed two terms (but probably no David Frost interview). If GWB had taken the blame for his uncountable mistakes it would have gone on longer than Kate Winslet at an awards show, but he wouldn't be hated as much as he is. No one expects a President to be perfect but we do expect them to be accountable. We expect them to take ownership, fix the problem, learn from it and move on. In President Obama's case, one can imagine him thumb-tapping on his Blackberry "Memo: Christmas presents for cabinet and staff to include Turbo Tax program and a $500 gift certificate to H&R Block."
Michael Phelps is just a kid. Well OK so he's 24. He's still allowed to do stupid things. He's allowed to drive a little too fast, try to unhook his girlfriend's bra in the backseat of his car and experiment with happy smoke at a party. What he is not allowed to do is get caught doing them. In a time of picture phones this might prove difficult; just ask Brittany, Prince Harry and the Oakland Transit Police.
Phelps has used two of his three strikes, having been tagged for DUI in Maryland in 2004. His endorsements are safe for the moment (except for those prudes at Kellogg). Public statements from Speedo, Visa and Omega all say that there are no plans to throw Phelps overboard. After all, who is on the "A" list for Speedo? How about Sully Sullenberger of US Airways fame? He's pretty good in the water.
Today's papers are full of contrition. We have:
the almost-but-not-quite Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tom Daschle;
the lesser known Nancy Killefer who was slated to be the President's Chief Performance Officer, whatever that is; and
the all-American boy turned stoner, Michael "Jeff Spicoli" Phelps.
Daschle first.
There was just no way to fix this. By the time the Obama vetters discovered and corrected Daschle's tax problem, the damage was done. If you're working for someone and he gives you something of value and the company declares it as an expense, that's income to you. Bonuses, trips, lavish gifts, and cars equipped with drivers...all income. When you formerly authored tax policy for America, "I didn't realize..." is not the "A" response. Sadly, in a world where the CEO of Merrill Lynch thinks it's OK, under any condition, to install a $87,000 rug in his office; where car company CEO's fly their corporate jets to Washington to beg for cash; where tone-deafness is so pervasive and entitlement so ingrained that John Edwards imagines that he can run for President and shtupp another woman; no one should be surprised.
The big loser here is America. Tom Daschle had three decades as a Washington insider. If anyone could have forged a universal healthcare package and had it passed, it was he. Senators knew and, for the most part, trusted him. Whoever the administration chooses to replace him will be a step down. This is what happens when you get too close to lobbyists and power brokers. Alfred Hitchcock was once asked if he said that actors were cattle. He replied, "I never said that actors were cattle. I said actors should be treated like cattle." Lobbyists may not be scum but, they should certainly be treated as such.
We never got to know Nancy Killefer. Her affiliation with the consulting giant McKinsey & Co. tells me that, as Chief Performance Officer, she would have been terrific at telling other people what was wrong with them and how "you" should fix it. A good friend tells me that consultants are men who know 500 ways to make love but don't know any women. Whatever Nancy's tax issues are we may never know. However, there may be a power point presentation in our future.
Whether you are in the tank for Obama (and most of us are) or not, you have to be impressed with the grace of the man. First, he takes responsibility; not my staff, not my information gatherers...me. "I screwed up". If Dick Nixon had tried that, he would have completed two terms (but probably no David Frost interview). If GWB had taken the blame for his uncountable mistakes it would have gone on longer than Kate Winslet at an awards show, but he wouldn't be hated as much as he is. No one expects a President to be perfect but we do expect them to be accountable. We expect them to take ownership, fix the problem, learn from it and move on. In President Obama's case, one can imagine him thumb-tapping on his Blackberry "Memo: Christmas presents for cabinet and staff to include Turbo Tax program and a $500 gift certificate to H&R Block."
Michael Phelps is just a kid. Well OK so he's 24. He's still allowed to do stupid things. He's allowed to drive a little too fast, try to unhook his girlfriend's bra in the backseat of his car and experiment with happy smoke at a party. What he is not allowed to do is get caught doing them. In a time of picture phones this might prove difficult; just ask Brittany, Prince Harry and the Oakland Transit Police.
Phelps has used two of his three strikes, having been tagged for DUI in Maryland in 2004. His endorsements are safe for the moment (except for those prudes at Kellogg). Public statements from Speedo, Visa and Omega all say that there are no plans to throw Phelps overboard. After all, who is on the "A" list for Speedo? How about Sully Sullenberger of US Airways fame? He's pretty good in the water.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
...or will faith make my brown eyes blue?
Just when you thought it was going to be a slow news day, up pops one of isitjustme's favorite pious pinatas, The Formerly Reverend Ted "I can't be gay, I'm an evangelical" Haggard. You may remember Rev. Ted from such popular gigs as pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado; head of the National Association of Evangelicals; spiritual confidant of former President George W. Bush and, most prominently, Exhibit A in a scandal involving gay sex and methamphetamines. Naturally, Haggard was anti-gay (in the pulpit anyway) and his little peccadillo brought great shame on him, his family and
There wasn't anything particularly new in this tale of the pompous brought low. After all, the Bible says, "It matterith not which side a man butters his bread" or words to that effect. The quote is from the Gospel according to Bruce but you'll have to look it up. Ted was ostracized from the holier than thou community and banished to New Orleans (where sin is always on the menu). Anyway, the interesting thing about Ted was that several weeks after he was exposed and agreed to counseling, his "spiritual advisers" Jack Hayford and Tommy Barnett declared that the demons had been exorcised. Ted was now completely straight. Glory Hallelujah!
Ted Haggard may be trying to put his gay lovers behind him but bodies keep turning up. We are now learning about another man, this one a church volunteer, who carried on a three year affair with the good reverend (and just when you thought it was safe to go back to the sacristy). All this nonsense because people are afraid to acknowledge who they are.
Our friends in the Catholic Church have an entire organization called "Courage". The goal is to "help with people with same sex attractions". Setting aside the jokes about physicians healing themselves, the Catholic Church has created a medication for which there is no disease. The only thing wrong with gay people is that, having to live half their lives in hiding, many develop a closet-full of neuroses by the time they're thirty. If Christian America stopped trying to "treat" homosexuality and left everyone alone, fewer people would ever think they needed a website like "Courage". Meanwhile the Catholic Church could devote more time to a concept called "Pedophilia is a transmitted disease. Don't pass it around".
There wasn't anything particularly new in this tale of the pompous brought low. After all, the Bible says, "It matterith not which side a man butters his bread" or words to that effect. The quote is from the Gospel according to Bruce but you'll have to look it up. Ted was ostracized from the holier than thou community and banished to New Orleans (where sin is always on the menu). Anyway, the interesting thing about Ted was that several weeks after he was exposed and agreed to counseling, his "spiritual advisers" Jack Hayford and Tommy Barnett declared that the demons had been exorcised. Ted was now completely straight. Glory Hallelujah!
Ted Haggard may be trying to put his gay lovers behind him but bodies keep turning up. We are now learning about another man, this one a church volunteer, who carried on a three year affair with the good reverend (and just when you thought it was safe to go back to the sacristy). All this nonsense because people are afraid to acknowledge who they are.
Our friends in the Catholic Church have an entire organization called "Courage". The goal is to "help with people with same sex attractions". Setting aside the jokes about physicians healing themselves, the Catholic Church has created a medication for which there is no disease. The only thing wrong with gay people is that, having to live half their lives in hiding, many develop a closet-full of neuroses by the time they're thirty. If Christian America stopped trying to "treat" homosexuality and left everyone alone, fewer people would ever think they needed a website like "Courage". Meanwhile the Catholic Church could devote more time to a concept called "Pedophilia is a transmitted disease. Don't pass it around".
...or did the Bush administration strike a blow for air quality just by leaving town?
Really! The air quality in Washington is noticeably improved. The sulfurous odor emanating from the area around the Navel Observatory (home to the Vice President) has cleared, if only to be replaced by a hint of methane. True, the stench at the Justice Department is considerably more pervasive (waterboarding has its downside, you know) but, once the smell of incense and beeswax clears, things will improve. Sadly, the toxic stew that brews continually in the Congress will forever render the air quality over the Capitol unbreathable. If only the new administration could discover a way to flush "the turd formerly known as Karl Rove", the cherry blossoms might bloom again. It may be January but spring is bustin' out all over.
However, for those of you waiting for the Hammer of Thor to descend on the recently departed and much reviled G. Bush, don't hold your breath. It would appear that the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. has more pressing matters to occupy his time. While "U.S. v Cheney, Rove, Gonzales, et al" has a lovely ring to it, the Obama White House (and, by extension, the Obama Justice Department) is having none of it.
One suspects that pragmatism is the primary motivation for wanting to bulldoze the outhouse that was Bush 43. While it's true that Americans would pay real money to watch Paul Wolfowitz explaining to a jury how he doctored the information (one could hardly call it intelligence) that prompted the invasion of Iraq, the new President knows better. The Republican party, although decimated by the elections of 2006 and 2008, could still muster a modicum of righteous indignation if the U.S. Marshalls start frog-marching former Bush officials into federal courts. At a time when President Obama needs Republican support (if only to create the appearance of inclusion), no one needs the distraction of a public tar and feathering (for as delicious as that sounds).
While politics is the motivation for everything in Washington, it's hard not to believe that Barak Obama has no heart for vendetta. After eight years of the most small-minded, mean-spirited, Nixonesque leadership since...well...Nixon, grasping the notion that our President might do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, is daunting. Having been fed a steady diet of lies, cynicism and, edited information, we are reluctant to believe that better angels might be at work. Amid the liberal rants for "justice" and "accountability" (liberals can really be a bunch of self-righteous pains in the ass) the new administration is spending its precious political capital to push forward. MSNBC notwithstanding, the President seems prepared to pardon the Bush cabal through inaction. Oh well! Maybe we'll get a second bite of the apple. If there's a God, Karl Rove will be arrested in Vegas with a gun trying to steal back some Bush memorabilia. It could happen!
However, for those of you waiting for the Hammer of Thor to descend on the recently departed and much reviled G. Bush, don't hold your breath. It would appear that the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. has more pressing matters to occupy his time. While "U.S. v Cheney, Rove, Gonzales, et al" has a lovely ring to it, the Obama White House (and, by extension, the Obama Justice Department) is having none of it.
One suspects that pragmatism is the primary motivation for wanting to bulldoze the outhouse that was Bush 43. While it's true that Americans would pay real money to watch Paul Wolfowitz explaining to a jury how he doctored the information (one could hardly call it intelligence) that prompted the invasion of Iraq, the new President knows better. The Republican party, although decimated by the elections of 2006 and 2008, could still muster a modicum of righteous indignation if the U.S. Marshalls start frog-marching former Bush officials into federal courts. At a time when President Obama needs Republican support (if only to create the appearance of inclusion), no one needs the distraction of a public tar and feathering (for as delicious as that sounds).
While politics is the motivation for everything in Washington, it's hard not to believe that Barak Obama has no heart for vendetta. After eight years of the most small-minded, mean-spirited, Nixonesque leadership since...well...Nixon, grasping the notion that our President might do the right thing because it's the right thing to do, is daunting. Having been fed a steady diet of lies, cynicism and, edited information, we are reluctant to believe that better angels might be at work. Amid the liberal rants for "justice" and "accountability" (liberals can really be a bunch of self-righteous pains in the ass) the new administration is spending its precious political capital to push forward. MSNBC notwithstanding, the President seems prepared to pardon the Bush cabal through inaction. Oh well! Maybe we'll get a second bite of the apple. If there's a God, Karl Rove will be arrested in Vegas with a gun trying to steal back some Bush memorabilia. It could happen!
Monday, January 19, 2009
...or does the State of Israel neve seem to be in a state of grace with anyone?
So ask yourself; exactly how many rockets, fired from Mexico, would the government of the United States tolerate before arranging a military exercise south of the Rio Grande? How many missiles, falling on the civilian population of France, would the French consider a sufficient provocation for retaliation? How about the Germans or, the Brits? It would seem that any country receiving nearly continuous incoming ordnance from a neighboring state would respond almost immediately, and forcefully. The firing of rockets across a border into civilians is a reasonably unambiguous act not to mention extremely rude. This is not mere saber-rattling. This is aggression. So can someone please explain why, after years of provocation by the Hamas government of Gaza, Israel's military response paints them as the bad guys?
Any attempt to definitively assign white and black hats to the players in this morass is futile. Both sides have back-stories and both have some reason for indignation. Trying to decide who holds the moral high ground is difficult. Using the history of the region to chose a champion will only make your hair hurt. Every entity from the Romans to the Ottomans to the Brits to the UN have had a hand in stirring this soup and everyone has only made things worse. There doesn't even seem to be a clear consensus as to what makes a person a Palestinian. Whoever they are, there appears to be about 5.5 million of them in Israel and the territories and they aren't going anywhere.
Despite the fact that the Palestinians have shown no willingness to accept the reality of the State of Israel, their cause has gained some support worldwide. (Using terror as a weapon never worked as well for the IRA. Apparently blowing up Jews is still more acceptable than blowing up Englishmen.) Playing the poor, stateless, oppressed victims, Palestinians have convinced the Western World that they have grievances. The logic is perverse but compelling. Having spent the last 50 odd years doing nothing more productive than throwing rocks and bombs at Israelis, the Palestinians demand a sovereign state from which they can, without consequence, throw rocks and bombs at Israelis. Israel, as you might imagine, sees things a little differently.
Israel already feels victimized by the court of world opinion. Against their better judgement, the Israelis established a kind-of, sort-of, semi autonomous state for the Palestinians in Gaza in 2005. (Giving up some really sweet seaside property.) Given the right to elect a government, these brite lights rejected the PLO ( who in this perverse universe were the moderates) in favor of Hamas, sworn enemies of Israel. Predictably, this worked out about as well as having the NY Yankees play all their home games in Fenway Park.
Oddly enough, Israel objects to being the target of Iranian missiles lobbed over the border from Gaza. (They also object to Iranian missiles being lobbed over the border from Lebanon by Hezbollah but that's another story.) They have asked nicely for the Palestinians to knock it off. The Palestinians have demurred. Israel, predictably cranky from 50 years of this stuff, has sent its army into Gaza to stop the madness. While no one applauds the killing of civilians, the civilians are the problem. They are the ones voting for a government that's getting them killed. They are the ones providing milk and cookies for the guys firing the missiles. How hard is this? Stop shooting at Israel and they'll go home. It's difficult to have much sympathy for people who are causing their own destruction.
As of today, Israel has agreed to a cease fire. The Palestinians have agreed. Sadly, the Palestinian idea of a cease fire is "let's stop so we can reload". This crap will never end as long as the Palestinians insist on being the surrogate aggressors for Iran. It hardly matters whether your cause is just if you have no chance of succeeding. Israel is a fact. Deal with it. Become something besides a victim. Part of the reason that the United Nations put Israel in the middle of the Eastern Mediterranean is that the property appeared vacant. You can fix this. You can decide whether yours is the culture of Omar Khayyam or Mullah Omar. Change! You can do it!
As for Western Europe, change out of your pink panties and stopped being shocked that a country, attacked without cause, would respond with force. Just ask yourself, what would you do in Israel's place...after you asked America for help?
Any attempt to definitively assign white and black hats to the players in this morass is futile. Both sides have back-stories and both have some reason for indignation. Trying to decide who holds the moral high ground is difficult. Using the history of the region to chose a champion will only make your hair hurt. Every entity from the Romans to the Ottomans to the Brits to the UN have had a hand in stirring this soup and everyone has only made things worse. There doesn't even seem to be a clear consensus as to what makes a person a Palestinian. Whoever they are, there appears to be about 5.5 million of them in Israel and the territories and they aren't going anywhere.
Despite the fact that the Palestinians have shown no willingness to accept the reality of the State of Israel, their cause has gained some support worldwide. (Using terror as a weapon never worked as well for the IRA. Apparently blowing up Jews is still more acceptable than blowing up Englishmen.) Playing the poor, stateless, oppressed victims, Palestinians have convinced the Western World that they have grievances. The logic is perverse but compelling. Having spent the last 50 odd years doing nothing more productive than throwing rocks and bombs at Israelis, the Palestinians demand a sovereign state from which they can, without consequence, throw rocks and bombs at Israelis. Israel, as you might imagine, sees things a little differently.
Israel already feels victimized by the court of world opinion. Against their better judgement, the Israelis established a kind-of, sort-of, semi autonomous state for the Palestinians in Gaza in 2005. (Giving up some really sweet seaside property.) Given the right to elect a government, these brite lights rejected the PLO ( who in this perverse universe were the moderates) in favor of Hamas, sworn enemies of Israel. Predictably, this worked out about as well as having the NY Yankees play all their home games in Fenway Park.
Oddly enough, Israel objects to being the target of Iranian missiles lobbed over the border from Gaza. (They also object to Iranian missiles being lobbed over the border from Lebanon by Hezbollah but that's another story.) They have asked nicely for the Palestinians to knock it off. The Palestinians have demurred. Israel, predictably cranky from 50 years of this stuff, has sent its army into Gaza to stop the madness. While no one applauds the killing of civilians, the civilians are the problem. They are the ones voting for a government that's getting them killed. They are the ones providing milk and cookies for the guys firing the missiles. How hard is this? Stop shooting at Israel and they'll go home. It's difficult to have much sympathy for people who are causing their own destruction.
As of today, Israel has agreed to a cease fire. The Palestinians have agreed. Sadly, the Palestinian idea of a cease fire is "let's stop so we can reload". This crap will never end as long as the Palestinians insist on being the surrogate aggressors for Iran. It hardly matters whether your cause is just if you have no chance of succeeding. Israel is a fact. Deal with it. Become something besides a victim. Part of the reason that the United Nations put Israel in the middle of the Eastern Mediterranean is that the property appeared vacant. You can fix this. You can decide whether yours is the culture of Omar Khayyam or Mullah Omar. Change! You can do it!
As for Western Europe, change out of your pink panties and stopped being shocked that a country, attacked without cause, would respond with force. Just ask yourself, what would you do in Israel's place...after you asked America for help?
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