It is sooooo tempting. The person who raised Prince of Darkness to a cabinet post is calling it quits. The man most responsible for handing America George W. Bush has resigned his post as co-president/Rasputin to the White House's emptiest suit. Presumably he will slink back to hell or whatever moldy rock he crawled out from under. He can certainly leave with clean hands. He will not be the man that history remembers as the architect of the debacle in Iraq. The blood of 3,600 Americans and 75,000 Iraqis won't be on his conscience. Quotes like, "They will treat us like liberators", and " The oil revenues will pay for the war" will not be attributed to Mr. Rove. "Mission Accomplished" might have been his but, you'll never know it. As "the guy behind the guy" Rove is free to flit away to inflict yet more damage to America's prestige and status. Rove told Paul Gigot that he would have left last year but, after the Congressional hosing that the administration received in '04, Karl didn't want to leave on a sour note. That's actually funny. This is the guy responsible for more sour notes than your high school band in their tribute to John Williams. If you want to know why every thinking American (defined as those who vote regularly for the enlightened Democratic party) hates Karl Rove, I'll tell you...he beat the Democrats bloody every time and made it look easy. Hell, we helped him. The Rove saga begins in 1970. While a student at the University of Utah, Rove worked for the Republican party landing a job helping GOP candidates in Illinois. In Karl's case "helping" involved breaking into the campaign offices of Alan Dixon ( running for senator) and stealing 1,000 sheets of official campaign stationary. He then used the paper to print flyers promising free beer, food and girls to anyone attending a Dixon rally. The flyers were distributed at rock concerts and homeless shelters. His playbook for elective politics includes sifting through a candidate's garbage, a job he presumably reserves for himself. Rove has had two wives, no degree despite enrolling in several universities, and naturally, no military service. What he has is a history of dirty tricks and barely legal antics across 35 years of political puppeteering. This guy would make Chuck Colson blush. He's Dick Tuck without the leprechaun charm. Isitjustme is unable to provide background for all obscure historical references. Please Google any obscure people or incidents at your leisure. Rove really came into his own when he was asked to help defeat Ann Richards, the reasonably popular Democratic Governor of Texas in 1994. Karl had a somewhat spotty record as a political consultant up to that point. He helped John Ashcroft win a Senate seat in 1994 but six years later he assisted Ashcroft in his loss to a dead guy. Anyway, George W. Bush was the ideal candidate for Karl Rove; all hat no cattle. In George W., Rove saw a famous name attached to an affable, dopey cowboy that was never going to be invited to a Mensa clambake. Karl knew that as long as George stayed on script (and off the sauce) the sky was the limit. During the Texas campaign in 1994, Rove disguised political operatives as pollsters. They would contact voters and inquire as to whether they would vote for Gov. Richards if they knew that her administration was dominated by lesbians. Cute! Much to her ultimate chagrin, Governor Richards never took li'l George too seriously. One year later he was in the governor's mansion and she was selling Frito's in a super bowl commercial with Mike Dukakis. In the 2000 presidential race Karl knew that he had a winner in George W. Bush. All he had to do was flatten all of the other candidates. However, things were gloomy after the first few primaries. John McCain, war hero and tough campaigner, was winning. No problem. Before the South Carolina primary Rove masterminded an appeal to the Palmetto State's first love....racism. While George W. was speaking at Bob Jones University (the christian school that prohibited interracial dating) Rove's minions were telling SC residents that John McCain had fathered an interracial child. Is this guy a charmer or what? The rest is just more of the same. He chaired the White House Iraq Group whose mission was to sell the invasion of Iraq to the American people. Working with those Defender of the Truth, Dick Cheney and Don "generals don't know shit about war" Rumsfeld, America was sold the largest pile of camel droppings since Lawrence of Arabia. When New York was attacked, we wanted to strike back and old Karl was right there with a target. In 2004 George W. Bush was running for re-election on a train wreck of failed international policies. Once again it was Karl Rove to the rescue. In a political maneuver that may go on record as the best ever, Rove was able to turn John Kerry's valorous war record and three purple hearts into what has now become the most popular term in low-blow politics, "swift-boating". Still, we should not be too quick to consign Karl Rove to the ash heap of politics as blood sport. As long as Americans prefer bumper-sticker slogans over actual information Karl will always be with us. Wherever voters would rather respond to any nonsense (like John Edward's $400 haircut) than change positions in an election, the Karl Roves will prosper. Karl Rove knows what dirty little secrets American voters take into the voting booth. He knows your prejudices and your fears. His mission is to present a candidate that appeals to them. As we careen into the madness of 2008, the Karl Rove Playbook will surface. The question isn't whether any candidate will adopt the "win at all cost" philosophy of Mr. Rove. The question is how many. |
Monday, August 13, 2007
...or should we wait before shoveling dirt on Karl Rove?
Friday, August 10, 2007
...or should August 9 be a national holiday?
| I'm thinking "Bomb Day". After all, August 9 has been littered with explosions since before the birth of Christ. To whit: 48 BC Julius Caesar defeats General Pompey at the battle of Pharsalus. Granted, no bombs were used but the outcome created quite an explosion in Roman politics. The republic was dealt a mortal blow and individual rights were all but eliminated when Caesar declared himself emperor. For a parallel, think George W. Bush after 9/11. By the way, Pompey fled to Egypt which, 2000 years later, gave us Osama bin Laden. Coincidence? 1930 Betty Boop (America's first animated bombshell) makes her debut in a short feature called Dizzy Dishes. Shortly thereafter, Ms. Boop checks into the rehab facility that now bears her first name. Her addiction to India Ink was never fully explained. 1936 Jesse Owens wins his fourth gold medal at the XI Olympiad in Berlin. America goes wild for Jesse until, of course, the newsreel footage reaches the States at which time Americans notice that Mr. Owens is black. Adolph Hitler, then German Chancellor, refuses to shake hands with Mr. Owens thus beginning a trend that would survive in the American South for the next 45 years. 1944 The United States Forestry Service introduces Smokey the Bear for the first time. The law firm of Tharrington, Smith & Hargrove of North Carolina (later to employ John Edwards) immediately filed a four billion dollar law suit alleging that the bear in the ranger hat and blue jeans is the property of someone else. They charge the Forest Service with propagating (wait for it) "second hand Smokey." 1945 Basically not a good day to be a tourist in Nagasaki. Harry Truman put an exclamation point on World War II by convincing Japan that if they didn't surrender right now, today, Japan would be converted into a parking lot for the first Asian WalMart. |
1969 Quiz time. What happened on Aug 9 in 1969? That's right you sickwads - psychotics under the direction of Charlie Manson brutally murdered Sharon Tate, Abigail Folger, Jay Sebring, Wojciech Frykowski and Steven Parent in Los Angeles. Manson, who is now 73 and still crazy as a loon is, thankfully, still incarcerated. So are Leslie Van Houton, Susan Atkins, Patrica Krenwinkel, Bobby Beausoleil and Charles Tex Watson. Should any or all of these lovely folks ever get out of the joint, they are planning a reunion at the Spahn Ranch which will be converted to a hospice for the occasion.
1974 Everybody's favorite pinata, Tricky Dick Nixon finally, mercifully resigns the Presidency. Having noticed that even Checkers, the White House dog, was pissing on his administration, Mr. Nixon decided that a permanent vacation in San Clemente was preferable to a guest appearance on Court TV. Two additional indignities ultimately followed. In 1976 New York revoked his law license and in 1981 he was forced to live in New Jersey. Oh death, where is thy sting?
1993 Prince Albert II of Belgium is sworn in as king prompting a new round of interrogatories regarding tobacco, tobacco containers and Belgian monarchs.
2007 The Dow Jones Industrial Average falls 387 points. Ouch! If this trend continues, isitjustme could be forced to accept advertising... except, of course, on National Bomb Day.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
...or are there only two types of health insurance: bad and none.
I have health insurance. I thank God and Dow Jones every day that I have it. I understand that at any time my insurance could go away and I would be forced to: 1) go to work (Aghhh!), 2) move to Canada (and I hate hockey) or, 3) pay about $800 a month for a policy. None of these are viable options. I am one of the lucky ones.
Nevertheless, "being covered" clearly isn't what it used to be. There was a time when a doctor visit or a routine procedure was fully paid for by your insurance company. Even with the advent of the "co-pay", "normal medical stuff" ( I will try to keep technical industry terms to a minimum) was paid in full.
Naturally, this epiphany arrives as a result of a personal experience. Like the folks at Jockey, I will attempt to be brief. I visited a medical facility recently for a somewhat routine test. Upon arrival, I was advised that Aetna Managed Care would cover all but $90 of the cost. Fine. I forked over the cash and away we went. A general anaesthetic was involved as was some lab work. All went well and I was on my way.
A few weeks later the bills started to arrive. $98 for lab costs; $51 for the gas-passer; and $40 for the doctor. The doctor bill surprised me so I inquired via the billing dept of the facility. My sarcasm was probably showing when I asked if I was the first patient with Aetna Managed Care to receive the procedure. If not, why didn't they add the 40 bucks to the $90 when I got there. A young lady informed me that the fee upon arrival was for the facility only. The doctor's bill was separate. Oh! Several additional questions leapt to mind but I knew that further interrogation was pointless. The overarching thought is that, even at $300 or so out of pocket, I was still pretty lucky.
It now seems that "fully covered" has gone the way of the nickel candy bar and morning postal deliveries. Having no facts at my disposal and even less interest in discovering any, here is my guess as to how we got to our present circumstance. First came medical insurance. You (or most likely your employer) paid a premium and you could go to the doctor at will. The doctor invoiced the insurance company for a fee that was considered "usual and customary". Insurance paid and all was well.
Then came the dreaded HMO. Doctors were restrained from billing for any amount beyond what the insurance company considered "fair". This was designed to limit the spiraling cost of health care and make a bundle for Blue Cross, Aetna and all the rest of the insurance companies.
Doctors protested. The cost of tongue depressors was rising every year, they said. Nurses want to be paid like medical professionals not Carmelite nuns. And don't even get me started on the cost of those paper night gowns.
Then it hit them. "We can charge whatever we like. Whatever the insurance company won't pay, we'll just charge the patient. When they see the bill that we sent to the insurance company for the operation or the x-ray (already seriously inflated) they'll feel grateful just to be paying $75 or $80."And so we have the birth of "medical cost creep". And I have it easy. I can just imagine what the parent of a sick child must have to deal with.
Employers have responded to the rising cost of insurance premiums by cutting benefits. Usually those most affected are workers at the bottom of the corporate ladder. Does anyone in America believe that the Fortune 500 CEO's are powerless to affect change if they felt it was in their best interest?
It doesn't have to be this way. Go see Michael Moore's "Sicko". (I'm sorry if you don't like his politics.) You will learn that other countries do health care better. None are perfect and no one wants to live like the Cubans just so we can get a free tonsillectomy, but ours is not the only way. If we would just look at how Canada, France, England and any one of 50 countries manages to provide care for all of their citizens, we might learn something.
Health care in America works if you are employed by a big corporation or if you work for the government (military personnel apparently excepted). It works (and most things generally do) if you're wealthy. It works if you were lucky enough to stay in the same place long enough to get long term benefits. (That would be me!).
Americans will go to the polls to oppose gay marriage and to exterminate abortion but no one votes for universal health care. I guess all those people in Kansas and Nebraska already have medical insurance. I hope the policy covers political myopia..
Nevertheless, "being covered" clearly isn't what it used to be. There was a time when a doctor visit or a routine procedure was fully paid for by your insurance company. Even with the advent of the "co-pay", "normal medical stuff" ( I will try to keep technical industry terms to a minimum) was paid in full.
Naturally, this epiphany arrives as a result of a personal experience. Like the folks at Jockey, I will attempt to be brief. I visited a medical facility recently for a somewhat routine test. Upon arrival, I was advised that Aetna Managed Care would cover all but $90 of the cost. Fine. I forked over the cash and away we went. A general anaesthetic was involved as was some lab work. All went well and I was on my way.
A few weeks later the bills started to arrive. $98 for lab costs; $51 for the gas-passer; and $40 for the doctor. The doctor bill surprised me so I inquired via the billing dept of the facility. My sarcasm was probably showing when I asked if I was the first patient with Aetna Managed Care to receive the procedure. If not, why didn't they add the 40 bucks to the $90 when I got there. A young lady informed me that the fee upon arrival was for the facility only. The doctor's bill was separate. Oh! Several additional questions leapt to mind but I knew that further interrogation was pointless. The overarching thought is that, even at $300 or so out of pocket, I was still pretty lucky.
It now seems that "fully covered" has gone the way of the nickel candy bar and morning postal deliveries. Having no facts at my disposal and even less interest in discovering any, here is my guess as to how we got to our present circumstance. First came medical insurance. You (or most likely your employer) paid a premium and you could go to the doctor at will. The doctor invoiced the insurance company for a fee that was considered "usual and customary". Insurance paid and all was well.
Then came the dreaded HMO. Doctors were restrained from billing for any amount beyond what the insurance company considered "fair". This was designed to limit the spiraling cost of health care and make a bundle for Blue Cross, Aetna and all the rest of the insurance companies.
Doctors protested. The cost of tongue depressors was rising every year, they said. Nurses want to be paid like medical professionals not Carmelite nuns. And don't even get me started on the cost of those paper night gowns.
Then it hit them. "We can charge whatever we like. Whatever the insurance company won't pay, we'll just charge the patient. When they see the bill that we sent to the insurance company for the operation or the x-ray (already seriously inflated) they'll feel grateful just to be paying $75 or $80."And so we have the birth of "medical cost creep". And I have it easy. I can just imagine what the parent of a sick child must have to deal with.
Employers have responded to the rising cost of insurance premiums by cutting benefits. Usually those most affected are workers at the bottom of the corporate ladder. Does anyone in America believe that the Fortune 500 CEO's are powerless to affect change if they felt it was in their best interest?
It doesn't have to be this way. Go see Michael Moore's "Sicko". (I'm sorry if you don't like his politics.) You will learn that other countries do health care better. None are perfect and no one wants to live like the Cubans just so we can get a free tonsillectomy, but ours is not the only way. If we would just look at how Canada, France, England and any one of 50 countries manages to provide care for all of their citizens, we might learn something.
Health care in America works if you are employed by a big corporation or if you work for the government (military personnel apparently excepted). It works (and most things generally do) if you're wealthy. It works if you were lucky enough to stay in the same place long enough to get long term benefits. (That would be me!).
Americans will go to the polls to oppose gay marriage and to exterminate abortion but no one votes for universal health care. I guess all those people in Kansas and Nebraska already have medical insurance. I hope the policy covers political myopia..
Friday, July 06, 2007
...or are you less informed the more you read?
"George Bush...keeping the world safe for theocracy."
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Rupert Murdoch now owns the Wall Street Journal. It feels like Jimmy Swaggart just bought the Catholic Church or Timex now owns Rolex.
Well, what's done is done so let's try to paint some lipstick on this pig.
In a world where A&P, RCA, and Marshall Fields are just a memory, one could look upon the the purchase of Dow Jones as a rescue. Rupert Murdoch is a smart, crafty businessman who genuinely believes in the power of the printed word. He has promised to invest millions in the Dow Jones' products especially the on-line component. He may leave his fingerprints on the news product but how does that make him different from the Sulzbergers at The New York Times or the Grahams at The Washington Post? He could hardly make the editorial page any more conservative.
The previous ownership, primarily the Bancroft/Cox families, cared about their dividends...period. Their idea of investing in Dow Jones was placing a really nice plaque on the headquarters building at One Financial Center. Their stewardship of the company over the last forty years was a train wreck. The trail of missed and mangled opportunities stretches from New York to Cape Cod. They installed newsmen as executives resulting in the loss of good reporters without uncovering good businessmen. Had the family walked away from the News Corp offer, serious cutbacks in news reporting would have been inevitable. Advertising revenues could no longer support the family stipend. Somebody has to pay for resurfacing the tennis courts.
Mr. Murdoch may not be Edward R. Morrow, but he has the resources and brains to ensure that The Wall Street Journal won't be nickel and dimed into a print version of the AP wire service. Let's let Rupert run things for a while before we judge. If things go badly, they can always sell to Larry Flint.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
In its never ending race with Chicago and Singapore to become the world's most over-legislated city, New York has passed a new "Noise Ordinance."
Apparently unsatisfied with the noise law of 1972, New York has reinvigorated this perplexing issue with a plethora of new prohibitions, including: a curb on dog barking (thus adding new teeth to the admonition "Curb Your Dog"), an attempt to modify the construction racket (and I thought that the "construction racket" had to do with the mob and cement), and, horror of horrors, the muffling of the hallowed Mister Softee truck. Mr. Softee (if he has a first name he's never said) can no longer play his nostalgic, if slightly irritating ditty while the truck is parked. The bells on the Good Humor truck have been spared for the moment.
Next, New York will attempt to increase the distance between itself and New Jersey to minimize the din from the speakers at Springsteen concerts in the Meadowlands.
The spectre of New Yorkers buying trans fat-laden french fries from men in black coats in dark alleys is clearly not enough to keep the NYPD busy. The police will now have to make room on their utility belts for noise meters and stop watches.
Dogs are permitted to bark for no more than ten consecutive minutes during the day and five minutes at night. Who writes these laws, The Monty Pythons. One can only imagine a bleary-eyed city councilman arriving to work raving about the damn dog in his building that keeps him awake all night. "Somebody should pass a law!" And thus you have laws about bike messengers, roller bladers, jay-walking, poop-scooping, smoking, trans fats and now, noisy pooches. If you really want to reduce the obnoxious racket in New York, do something about Donald Trump.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Protestors from throughout Europe descended on Pamplona, Spain last month to express their outrage that the "sport" of bullfighting is allowed to continue. This demonstration however, has a twist. If you've ever been to Florida or the Caribbean you know how eager Europeans are to take their clothes off. Well, that penchant has been extended to social protest. Many of the demonstrators in Pamplona are marching topless or naked. Do these folks know how to draw a crowd, or what?
One young lady said that people are drawn to the cause more readily if there is nudity. Duh! At least the men seem interested in the protest. Most don't know what the protest is about but they don't seem to care. Many were carrying signs that read, "Show us your commitments."
Perhaps Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul could invigorate their presidential campaigns with a little skin.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
As many of you know, isitjustme has never been a fan of organized religion. That antagonism has found a special outlet with regards to the Roman Catholic Church. This is your garden variety love-hate relationship. Having been raised an RC, I sang in the choir and was an unmolested altar boy. My issue has always been that Rome seems determined to drive folks away from the Church rather than inviting them in. The Vatican's war against "relativism" has positioned The Church in a race with Islam to return its faithful to the 14th century.
Nevertheless, the return to the Tridentine Mass (that's the Latin Mass for you philistines) is a wonderful idea and I can't wait to go. Pope Benedict XVI has decided that after almost 50 years of Mass in the vernacular, Catholics can now attend services in Latin without suffering liturgical whiplash.
For those among you that have never attended Mass in Latin, allow me to point out some of the blessings:
no guitars
minimal responses
no hand shaking
and
a merciful end to English hymns that sound suspiciously like really bad Broadway show tunes.
There is a little more kneeling and they still pass the collection plate but when you hear the Mass as interpreted by Mozart or Bach in Latin you will wonder why Pope John XXIII ever thought English or German would be an improvement. Maybe he just didn't like kneeling.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Rupert Murdoch now owns the Wall Street Journal. It feels like Jimmy Swaggart just bought the Catholic Church or Timex now owns Rolex.
Well, what's done is done so let's try to paint some lipstick on this pig.
In a world where A&P, RCA, and Marshall Fields are just a memory, one could look upon the the purchase of Dow Jones as a rescue. Rupert Murdoch is a smart, crafty businessman who genuinely believes in the power of the printed word. He has promised to invest millions in the Dow Jones' products especially the on-line component. He may leave his fingerprints on the news product but how does that make him different from the Sulzbergers at The New York Times or the Grahams at The Washington Post? He could hardly make the editorial page any more conservative.
The previous ownership, primarily the Bancroft/Cox families, cared about their dividends...period. Their idea of investing in Dow Jones was placing a really nice plaque on the headquarters building at One Financial Center. Their stewardship of the company over the last forty years was a train wreck. The trail of missed and mangled opportunities stretches from New York to Cape Cod. They installed newsmen as executives resulting in the loss of good reporters without uncovering good businessmen. Had the family walked away from the News Corp offer, serious cutbacks in news reporting would have been inevitable. Advertising revenues could no longer support the family stipend. Somebody has to pay for resurfacing the tennis courts.
Mr. Murdoch may not be Edward R. Morrow, but he has the resources and brains to ensure that The Wall Street Journal won't be nickel and dimed into a print version of the AP wire service. Let's let Rupert run things for a while before we judge. If things go badly, they can always sell to Larry Flint.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
In its never ending race with Chicago and Singapore to become the world's most over-legislated city, New York has passed a new "Noise Ordinance."
Apparently unsatisfied with the noise law of 1972, New York has reinvigorated this perplexing issue with a plethora of new prohibitions, including: a curb on dog barking (thus adding new teeth to the admonition "Curb Your Dog"), an attempt to modify the construction racket (and I thought that the "construction racket" had to do with the mob and cement), and, horror of horrors, the muffling of the hallowed Mister Softee truck. Mr. Softee (if he has a first name he's never said) can no longer play his nostalgic, if slightly irritating ditty while the truck is parked. The bells on the Good Humor truck have been spared for the moment.
Next, New York will attempt to increase the distance between itself and New Jersey to minimize the din from the speakers at Springsteen concerts in the Meadowlands.
The spectre of New Yorkers buying trans fat-laden french fries from men in black coats in dark alleys is clearly not enough to keep the NYPD busy. The police will now have to make room on their utility belts for noise meters and stop watches.
Dogs are permitted to bark for no more than ten consecutive minutes during the day and five minutes at night. Who writes these laws, The Monty Pythons. One can only imagine a bleary-eyed city councilman arriving to work raving about the damn dog in his building that keeps him awake all night. "Somebody should pass a law!" And thus you have laws about bike messengers, roller bladers, jay-walking, poop-scooping, smoking, trans fats and now, noisy pooches. If you really want to reduce the obnoxious racket in New York, do something about Donald Trump.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Protestors from throughout Europe descended on Pamplona, Spain last month to express their outrage that the "sport" of bullfighting is allowed to continue. This demonstration however, has a twist. If you've ever been to Florida or the Caribbean you know how eager Europeans are to take their clothes off. Well, that penchant has been extended to social protest. Many of the demonstrators in Pamplona are marching topless or naked. Do these folks know how to draw a crowd, or what?
One young lady said that people are drawn to the cause more readily if there is nudity. Duh! At least the men seem interested in the protest. Most don't know what the protest is about but they don't seem to care. Many were carrying signs that read, "Show us your commitments."
Perhaps Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul could invigorate their presidential campaigns with a little skin.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
As many of you know, isitjustme has never been a fan of organized religion. That antagonism has found a special outlet with regards to the Roman Catholic Church. This is your garden variety love-hate relationship. Having been raised an RC, I sang in the choir and was an unmolested altar boy. My issue has always been that Rome seems determined to drive folks away from the Church rather than inviting them in. The Vatican's war against "relativism" has positioned The Church in a race with Islam to return its faithful to the 14th century.
Nevertheless, the return to the Tridentine Mass (that's the Latin Mass for you philistines) is a wonderful idea and I can't wait to go. Pope Benedict XVI has decided that after almost 50 years of Mass in the vernacular, Catholics can now attend services in Latin without suffering liturgical whiplash.
For those among you that have never attended Mass in Latin, allow me to point out some of the blessings:
no guitars
minimal responses
no hand shaking
and
a merciful end to English hymns that sound suspiciously like really bad Broadway show tunes.
There is a little more kneeling and they still pass the collection plate but when you hear the Mass as interpreted by Mozart or Bach in Latin you will wonder why Pope John XXIII ever thought English or German would be an improvement. Maybe he just didn't like kneeling.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
...or is GWB just doing what any good angler would do?
George W. Bush has learned a valuable if dangerous lesson, namely, that you can't fall off the floor. His approval ratings are so low that little harm would be done if he admitted ownership of the dog-fighting enterprise running out of Micheal Vick's Virginia home. Nothing short of a camping trip with OJ Simpson could reduce the President's popularity with the American people. Mr. Bush could develop a cure for cancer and be reviled for contributing to overpopulation.
With that fact in mind, Lonesome George felt perfectly comfortable commuting the prison sentence of Scooter Libby. I suppose that it could have been worse. He might have released Sirhan Sirhan or Charlie Manson. He could have pardoned John Allen Muhammad, the Washington sniper. He might have told Barry Bonds to forget about any potential perjury and drug charges and just play ball.
At the end of the day, Lewis Scooter Libby is a little fish. It seems only right that we throw him back. We wanted Rove. We wanted Cheney. (Oh, how we wanted Cheney!)We wanted one of those arrogant bastards that have been running America as though it were their own private grocery store. The level of disdain that this administration has shown for the rule of law is so egregious that even Nebraska is sick of it.
We now have a Vice President that actually believes that he can decide for himself what branch of government he belongs to and what laws apply to him. Christ, all Spiro Agnew did was take a little graft in Maryland! Even if there is some smoking gun (aside from the one he shoots old lawyers with) he would still have to be dragged into a courtroom. By the time Alberto Gonzales' Justice Dept. pulled their collective heads out of their asses it would be 2009 and Big Dick would be back at Halliburton stealing billions in defense contracts. Even his lesbian daughter's child couldn't crack his duplicitous public personae.
The real loser here, as always, the American system of justice. Whether you agree with this administration (all 31 of you) or not, every short cut, every wink and nod, every-get-out-of-jail-free card makes America just that much more cynical about our laws and our courts. Bill Clinton lies about Monica and, although tarnished, gets a pass. Ronald Reagan trades arms for hostages in violation of the law and gets a building and an airport named for him. George W. Bush lies us into a war where the death toll stands at 3,500 and suffers no more than a public relation black eye. No wonder Jon Stewart has to keep reminding people that his is not a real news show.
George Bush and his retinue of scoundrels are nevertheless prisoners of a sort. They can't appear at public functions these days because of the booing and the demonstrations. Mr. Bush was afraid to attend a Washington Nationals game because of the reception he was likely to receive. Tony Snow, the press secretary, wears a flack jacket.
So forget Scooter. He wasn't worth the bait to catch him. Whether he was going to spill his guts or not we'll never know. Maybe he'll write a book.
If you want to feel bad about something, repeat this phrase, " They've still got another 19 months in office".
With that fact in mind, Lonesome George felt perfectly comfortable commuting the prison sentence of Scooter Libby. I suppose that it could have been worse. He might have released Sirhan Sirhan or Charlie Manson. He could have pardoned John Allen Muhammad, the Washington sniper. He might have told Barry Bonds to forget about any potential perjury and drug charges and just play ball.
At the end of the day, Lewis Scooter Libby is a little fish. It seems only right that we throw him back. We wanted Rove. We wanted Cheney. (Oh, how we wanted Cheney!)We wanted one of those arrogant bastards that have been running America as though it were their own private grocery store. The level of disdain that this administration has shown for the rule of law is so egregious that even Nebraska is sick of it.
We now have a Vice President that actually believes that he can decide for himself what branch of government he belongs to and what laws apply to him. Christ, all Spiro Agnew did was take a little graft in Maryland! Even if there is some smoking gun (aside from the one he shoots old lawyers with) he would still have to be dragged into a courtroom. By the time Alberto Gonzales' Justice Dept. pulled their collective heads out of their asses it would be 2009 and Big Dick would be back at Halliburton stealing billions in defense contracts. Even his lesbian daughter's child couldn't crack his duplicitous public personae.
The real loser here, as always, the American system of justice. Whether you agree with this administration (all 31 of you) or not, every short cut, every wink and nod, every-get-out-of-jail-free card makes America just that much more cynical about our laws and our courts. Bill Clinton lies about Monica and, although tarnished, gets a pass. Ronald Reagan trades arms for hostages in violation of the law and gets a building and an airport named for him. George W. Bush lies us into a war where the death toll stands at 3,500 and suffers no more than a public relation black eye. No wonder Jon Stewart has to keep reminding people that his is not a real news show.
George Bush and his retinue of scoundrels are nevertheless prisoners of a sort. They can't appear at public functions these days because of the booing and the demonstrations. Mr. Bush was afraid to attend a Washington Nationals game because of the reception he was likely to receive. Tony Snow, the press secretary, wears a flack jacket.
So forget Scooter. He wasn't worth the bait to catch him. Whether he was going to spill his guts or not we'll never know. Maybe he'll write a book.
If you want to feel bad about something, repeat this phrase, " They've still got another 19 months in office".
Friday, June 22, 2007
...or are we all waiting for "Satanac Verses, The Musical"?
Everyone who read Satanic Verses raise your hands.
That's what I thought, nobody.
How about "Shalomar the Clown"?
Even the most pretentious among us (and that could easily be me) would find it difficult to wade through any of Salman Rushdie's oeuvre. But that didn't stop Queen Elizabeth II. As part of her birthday celebration on June twenty-third (This is interesting in and of itself. The Queen was born on April 21. Don't ask me...ask a Brit.) HRM bestowed a knighthood on Sir Salman. Rushdie isn't the first author to receive a knighthood (Walter Scott became one for writing about them). He may however be the first British author to have the entire Muslim world hunting his scalp.
As you may remember, the mullahs in Iran took exception to his portrayal of the prophet Mohammad in Satanic Verses. Well at least someone read the book! The death sentence imposed by a raging towel head in sandland was better for book sales than a kiss from Oprah. Most critics just employ a poison pen. Muslims were instructed to use real poison. (One could only imagine the uproar if the Pope issued a papal "fatwa" on say, Christopher Hitchens.) Anyway, so far Sir Salman is still breathing although each year he receives a Christmas card from Tehran reminding him not to stroll near any mosques.
I'm confident that the 30 or so people who have actually read any of Rushdie's thirteen books will attest to his skill as an author but, as an old Anglophile, I find the conferring of knighthood on Sir Salman just a bit off-putting. The British Crown is handing out titles with abandon. The Round Table will have to be moved out of doors to handle the crowd. I think you are eligible for Knighthood with a purchase of $50 or more at the British Museum Gift Shop.
Included among the honorees this year are Christiana Amanpour and Barry Humphries, better known to the cross-dressing crowd as Dame Edna. (One can just imagine what outfit Sir Barry wore to the investiture.) Hundreds of people get recognized every year. If Queen Liz has to tap each knight on the shoulder with a heavy sword she'd have carpel tunnel before she reached "K" in the alphabet.
Still, there are a few notables that have been overlooked. What about Robbie Coltrane? His portrayal of Hagrid in the Harry Potter films is as least as good as anything Dame Edna ever did; and he has better hair. And aren't we ignoring Dave Clark from the Dave Clark Five? And what about Benny Hill? Better get out that sword again, Mum. You still have all the Pythons to get through.
That's what I thought, nobody.
How about "Shalomar the Clown"?
Even the most pretentious among us (and that could easily be me) would find it difficult to wade through any of Salman Rushdie's oeuvre. But that didn't stop Queen Elizabeth II. As part of her birthday celebration on June twenty-third (This is interesting in and of itself. The Queen was born on April 21. Don't ask me...ask a Brit.) HRM bestowed a knighthood on Sir Salman. Rushdie isn't the first author to receive a knighthood (Walter Scott became one for writing about them). He may however be the first British author to have the entire Muslim world hunting his scalp.
As you may remember, the mullahs in Iran took exception to his portrayal of the prophet Mohammad in Satanic Verses. Well at least someone read the book! The death sentence imposed by a raging towel head in sandland was better for book sales than a kiss from Oprah. Most critics just employ a poison pen. Muslims were instructed to use real poison. (One could only imagine the uproar if the Pope issued a papal "fatwa" on say, Christopher Hitchens.) Anyway, so far Sir Salman is still breathing although each year he receives a Christmas card from Tehran reminding him not to stroll near any mosques.
I'm confident that the 30 or so people who have actually read any of Rushdie's thirteen books will attest to his skill as an author but, as an old Anglophile, I find the conferring of knighthood on Sir Salman just a bit off-putting. The British Crown is handing out titles with abandon. The Round Table will have to be moved out of doors to handle the crowd. I think you are eligible for Knighthood with a purchase of $50 or more at the British Museum Gift Shop.
Included among the honorees this year are Christiana Amanpour and Barry Humphries, better known to the cross-dressing crowd as Dame Edna. (One can just imagine what outfit Sir Barry wore to the investiture.) Hundreds of people get recognized every year. If Queen Liz has to tap each knight on the shoulder with a heavy sword she'd have carpel tunnel before she reached "K" in the alphabet.
Still, there are a few notables that have been overlooked. What about Robbie Coltrane? His portrayal of Hagrid in the Harry Potter films is as least as good as anything Dame Edna ever did; and he has better hair. And aren't we ignoring Dave Clark from the Dave Clark Five? And what about Benny Hill? Better get out that sword again, Mum. You still have all the Pythons to get through.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
...or has Georgia become the center of the culture war?
Nothing wakes up this reporter like a story out of the Georgia courts:
Item
Genarlow Wilson will be freed from prison within a few days having served two years of a ten year stretch. His crime was having consensual oral sex with a 15 year old girl when he was 17. The operative word here is "consensual". The law at the time left judges with little sentencing discretion in cases like this. It has since been changed.
The Attorney General in Georgia is black, as is the defendant, so forget the race card. This is just another example of "hang 'em all and let God sort them out" justice that has gripped America in this new Conservative Christian Era. And just when we were applauding the Peach State for maintaining the integrity of public schools by retaining copies of the Harry Potter books in the school libraries.
Genarlow could still be charged with having oral sex. Yes, my friends, oral sex is still a crime in Georgia and 18 other states including Florida, Massachusetts, Minnesota and the District of Columbia. (Congress prefers its screwing the old fashioned way...with legislation.)
Still you would think that prosecutors had more important crimes to pursue than sexual experimentation among teenagers. Somebody call Ted Haggard to see if he would like to cast the first stone?
isitjustme update...FLASH... The State of Georgia is reconsidering the decision to release Mr. Wilson for fear that other sexual molesters will also petition for release. Great. Let's keep one kid in the slammer unjustly so the state won't have to deal with all of its other mistakes. I love this country.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Attend the tale of Roy Pearson. In case this obscenity has escaped your notice (that's why we're here, folks) Roy is the administrative law judge that has filed and argued a $54 million law suit over the loss of a pair of suit pants. The "suit" was filed against the Chung family who own and operate Custom Cleaners in D.C.
There is no higher purpose here. Mr. Pearson, ( hereafter referred to as a-hole of the first part) is pissed because his best suit is now a sports jacket. He has hauled the Chungs into court to make a point (besides the one on his head). The Chungs have actually offered this mope $12,000 just to go away. The question as to why any judge would hear this load of tripe is a little more complex.
Pearson has been pursuing this quest for two years. He has built his case around a sign in the cleaner's window that says "satisfaction guaranteed". I suspect that his next stop will involve a Persian carpet store displaying a "going out of business" notice.
He has fought every attempt to send him home and has presented just enough law to be granted a hearing. Judge Judith Bartnoff, of the D.C. Superior Court is expected to rule next week. One can only hope that her ruling includes forcing Mr. Pearson to wear a sandwich sign to work that reads, "I'm the moron who thinks his Men's Warehouse suit pants are worth $54 million".
Note to Mr. Pearson...Good luck finding a non-Korean cleaners the next time your threads need a press.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
It appears all but certain that Rupert Murdock will soon be the proud owner of Dow Jones and The Wall Street Journal. For comparison, think Larry Flint owning Disney or McDonald's buying Lutece.
This is a sad day, indeed. Not just because I spent 37 years telling clients about editorial integrity and trusted news sources, but because America is running perilously short of information it can believe. In broadcast, CBS News is a shell of what it was in the days of Morrow and Cronkite. CNN is suspect (just listen to Lew Dobbs) and, as for Fox News, pa...lease. In print, there are no newspapers or magazines (including the Christian Science Monitor) that haven't been attacked for biased journalism. The Wall Street Journal was the one place where the news was seen as untainted (at least by people who understand the difference between news and editorial).
The day that Murdock gets his Aussie paws on The Journal, the credibility of the content will drop by 50%. Whether or not he ever sets foot in the newsroom the perception will be that his imprimatur is as prevalent there as it is at The Weekly Standard or Fox News.
So let's all thank the Bancroft family, soon to be former owners of Dow Jones. Considering that none of these Philistines had a hand in the creation of The Journal or Barron's or anything, they can't wait to profit from them. Apparently you can't be too rich or too boorish. Enough is never enough. We all hope that their 30 pieces of silver they receive from News Corp. keep them warm at night. In one greedy move they went from being the wealthy patrons of a public trust to just another pack of coupon-clipping mansion-dwellers with too much money and too little class. It is fondly hoped that they cart their millions back to Massachusetts and Rome and wherever the hell else they reside and wallow in the anonymity they so richly deserve.
Remember what it says in Mathew, 16 (slightly altered):
"What profit it a man to suffer the lose of his immortal soul even if he gain the whole world"
... but Rupert Murdock?
Item
Genarlow Wilson will be freed from prison within a few days having served two years of a ten year stretch. His crime was having consensual oral sex with a 15 year old girl when he was 17. The operative word here is "consensual". The law at the time left judges with little sentencing discretion in cases like this. It has since been changed.
The Attorney General in Georgia is black, as is the defendant, so forget the race card. This is just another example of "hang 'em all and let God sort them out" justice that has gripped America in this new Conservative Christian Era. And just when we were applauding the Peach State for maintaining the integrity of public schools by retaining copies of the Harry Potter books in the school libraries.
Genarlow could still be charged with having oral sex. Yes, my friends, oral sex is still a crime in Georgia and 18 other states including Florida, Massachusetts, Minnesota and the District of Columbia. (Congress prefers its screwing the old fashioned way...with legislation.)
Still you would think that prosecutors had more important crimes to pursue than sexual experimentation among teenagers. Somebody call Ted Haggard to see if he would like to cast the first stone?
isitjustme update...FLASH... The State of Georgia is reconsidering the decision to release Mr. Wilson for fear that other sexual molesters will also petition for release. Great. Let's keep one kid in the slammer unjustly so the state won't have to deal with all of its other mistakes. I love this country.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Attend the tale of Roy Pearson. In case this obscenity has escaped your notice (that's why we're here, folks) Roy is the administrative law judge that has filed and argued a $54 million law suit over the loss of a pair of suit pants. The "suit" was filed against the Chung family who own and operate Custom Cleaners in D.C.
There is no higher purpose here. Mr. Pearson, ( hereafter referred to as a-hole of the first part) is pissed because his best suit is now a sports jacket. He has hauled the Chungs into court to make a point (besides the one on his head). The Chungs have actually offered this mope $12,000 just to go away. The question as to why any judge would hear this load of tripe is a little more complex.
Pearson has been pursuing this quest for two years. He has built his case around a sign in the cleaner's window that says "satisfaction guaranteed". I suspect that his next stop will involve a Persian carpet store displaying a "going out of business" notice.
He has fought every attempt to send him home and has presented just enough law to be granted a hearing. Judge Judith Bartnoff, of the D.C. Superior Court is expected to rule next week. One can only hope that her ruling includes forcing Mr. Pearson to wear a sandwich sign to work that reads, "I'm the moron who thinks his Men's Warehouse suit pants are worth $54 million".
Note to Mr. Pearson...Good luck finding a non-Korean cleaners the next time your threads need a press.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
It appears all but certain that Rupert Murdock will soon be the proud owner of Dow Jones and The Wall Street Journal. For comparison, think Larry Flint owning Disney or McDonald's buying Lutece.
This is a sad day, indeed. Not just because I spent 37 years telling clients about editorial integrity and trusted news sources, but because America is running perilously short of information it can believe. In broadcast, CBS News is a shell of what it was in the days of Morrow and Cronkite. CNN is suspect (just listen to Lew Dobbs) and, as for Fox News, pa...lease. In print, there are no newspapers or magazines (including the Christian Science Monitor) that haven't been attacked for biased journalism. The Wall Street Journal was the one place where the news was seen as untainted (at least by people who understand the difference between news and editorial).
The day that Murdock gets his Aussie paws on The Journal, the credibility of the content will drop by 50%. Whether or not he ever sets foot in the newsroom the perception will be that his imprimatur is as prevalent there as it is at The Weekly Standard or Fox News.
So let's all thank the Bancroft family, soon to be former owners of Dow Jones. Considering that none of these Philistines had a hand in the creation of The Journal or Barron's or anything, they can't wait to profit from them. Apparently you can't be too rich or too boorish. Enough is never enough. We all hope that their 30 pieces of silver they receive from News Corp. keep them warm at night. In one greedy move they went from being the wealthy patrons of a public trust to just another pack of coupon-clipping mansion-dwellers with too much money and too little class. It is fondly hoped that they cart their millions back to Massachusetts and Rome and wherever the hell else they reside and wallow in the anonymity they so richly deserve.
Remember what it says in Mathew, 16 (slightly altered):
"What profit it a man to suffer the lose of his immortal soul even if he gain the whole world"
... but Rupert Murdock?
Thursday, May 31, 2007
...is the news a little short of information?
This and that from the headlines:
Item
The Catholic Church has another of its middle managers off the reservation. Archbishop Raymond Leo Burke apparently didn't get the memo about love and forgiveness. As a one-man Inquisition (you can't Torquemada anything), Archbishop Burke has been in the news more than Anna Nicole Smith.
Since being installed as Archbishop of St. Louis, Most Reverend Burke has attempted to restore a measure of the temporal supremacy the RCC has not seen since the Reformation. He decreed that politicians supporting pro-choice should be denied Holy Communion. That was followed by the pronouncement that anyone who voted for such a candidate would likewise be denied the Eucharist. I suspect that the next bull (they call them that for a reason, you know!) would have condemned anyone that lived next door to a Democrat to perdition. However, Rome saw that the good archbishop was in fact, over-reaching. Archbishop Burke retracted his condemnation of voters shortly thereafter but I assume that his Most Reverend fingers were crossed.
He has spoken with disfavor of the Harry Potter books, calling them "irreligious". Considering that the inhabitants of Hogwarts wear flowing robes and change things by spells and incantations, one can only suppose that Most Rev.Burke is concerned about the competition.
Determined to leave no tern unstoned, he protested a Catholic hospital benefit concert featuring Sheryl Crow because of Ms. Crow's support of abortion rights and stem cell research. When the hospital board voted against him, he resigned as chairman. Talk about your spoil sports! Anyway, we wish Archbishop Burke well and joyfully anticipate the introduction of his new line of hair shirts and sterling silver cilices, sure to be a big hit at the Opus Dei Picnic and Swap Meet.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
In a fruitless effort to redirect my liberal soul to the path of conservative righteousness, a good friend of mine continuously bombards my email with links to sites that: a) support the war on Iraq, b) support George W. Bush and c) support all things Republican. Fat chance! Nevertheless, I occasionally click on one of these diatribes just to see how the other side lives and thinks.
However, something caught my eye yesterday that requires comment. A conservative blogger noted that back in 2004, the New York Times was printing daily stories about Abu Graib on the front page of the paper while relegating the presentation of the Medal of Honor to the "B" Section. On its face, that appears both biased and wrong-headed. Regardless of your political inclination, we understand that the Medal of Honor is a rare and prestigious award. Its presentation should be accompanied by respect and public acknowledgement.
Sadly though, at the rate with which this administration spins the news out of Iraq, it is difficult to know the truth of any information. We were told that Jessica Lynch was a courageous hero, raped and tortured by the godless enemy. Then Jessica came home and told us that she was anything but. She refused to accept praise that was undeserved. She went back to West Virginia where she resumed her former life. She has repeatedly criticized the Army for making up details for propaganda. Now that's heroism.
Then there's the saga of Pat Tilman, the Army ranger who quit pro football only to be killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan. The only truth we know thus far is that the Pentagon was so desperate to turn Tilman into the poster boy for American patriotism they barely investigated his death at all. His family is theatening legal action.
I'm sure that all of the heroes of this unnecessary conflict deserve the medals and decorations that have been awarded. However, when a government has shown itself to be as self serving and deceitful as this one, nothing can be taken at face value. It is not the bravery of our military that we question but the government spinners that provide the information. For them, even section "B" is too prominent.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The subject of illegal immigration refuses to go away. I continue to be saddened and surprised by the venom with which so many Americans view this issue. Yes, Latin immigrants, illegal and otherwise are poor and poor people commit crimes and go to jail. They work for subsistence wages and therefore need a little help. Call it "welfare" if it makes you feel superior. Are we so far from the Irish slums of lower New York that the smell no longer seems familiar? Are the "Irish need not apply" signs so far in our past that we no longer feel the sting and the shame?
This discussion isn't about misguided California school boards who want bilingual education in their schools (something that Spanish speakers don't want and didn't ask for). It's about third and fourth generation Americans with an unnatural fear of Latin influences on American culture.
Who are we...the French? What is it we're protecting? Regardless of immigrants from Mexico, Americans will still have the God-given right to mangle the language, eat at McDonald's, watch "America's Funniest Home Videos", and send mildly pornographic jokes to their friends during working hours. Viva America!
You say that you didn't invite them but whenever you hire a lawn service or admire the greens at your country club, you invited them. When you bitch about the cost of a head of lettuce or a pound of tomatoes, you invited them. When you express surprise at the $20 breakfast bill at the diner, you invited them. If you think the cost of gasoline is out of sight, wait 'til you have to pay Americans to cut grass and bus tables.
Most of the people who are here illegally risked their lives to come. Considering their numbers, they are invisible to most of us most of the time. It's true that your taxes are used to provide assistance to an illegal underground population, but it can't be any more painful than the billions that George W. Bush is using to fight his immoral, unnecessary war.
I don't have a single answer to this problem but I'm pretty sure that hate and fear won't make it any better. Let's just have a hot dog and a cerveza and keep talking about it.
Item
The Catholic Church has another of its middle managers off the reservation. Archbishop Raymond Leo Burke apparently didn't get the memo about love and forgiveness. As a one-man Inquisition (you can't Torquemada anything), Archbishop Burke has been in the news more than Anna Nicole Smith.
Since being installed as Archbishop of St. Louis, Most Reverend Burke has attempted to restore a measure of the temporal supremacy the RCC has not seen since the Reformation. He decreed that politicians supporting pro-choice should be denied Holy Communion. That was followed by the pronouncement that anyone who voted for such a candidate would likewise be denied the Eucharist. I suspect that the next bull (they call them that for a reason, you know!) would have condemned anyone that lived next door to a Democrat to perdition. However, Rome saw that the good archbishop was in fact, over-reaching. Archbishop Burke retracted his condemnation of voters shortly thereafter but I assume that his Most Reverend fingers were crossed.
He has spoken with disfavor of the Harry Potter books, calling them "irreligious". Considering that the inhabitants of Hogwarts wear flowing robes and change things by spells and incantations, one can only suppose that Most Rev.Burke is concerned about the competition.
Determined to leave no tern unstoned, he protested a Catholic hospital benefit concert featuring Sheryl Crow because of Ms. Crow's support of abortion rights and stem cell research. When the hospital board voted against him, he resigned as chairman. Talk about your spoil sports! Anyway, we wish Archbishop Burke well and joyfully anticipate the introduction of his new line of hair shirts and sterling silver cilices, sure to be a big hit at the Opus Dei Picnic and Swap Meet.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
In a fruitless effort to redirect my liberal soul to the path of conservative righteousness, a good friend of mine continuously bombards my email with links to sites that: a) support the war on Iraq, b) support George W. Bush and c) support all things Republican. Fat chance! Nevertheless, I occasionally click on one of these diatribes just to see how the other side lives and thinks.
However, something caught my eye yesterday that requires comment. A conservative blogger noted that back in 2004, the New York Times was printing daily stories about Abu Graib on the front page of the paper while relegating the presentation of the Medal of Honor to the "B" Section. On its face, that appears both biased and wrong-headed. Regardless of your political inclination, we understand that the Medal of Honor is a rare and prestigious award. Its presentation should be accompanied by respect and public acknowledgement.
Sadly though, at the rate with which this administration spins the news out of Iraq, it is difficult to know the truth of any information. We were told that Jessica Lynch was a courageous hero, raped and tortured by the godless enemy. Then Jessica came home and told us that she was anything but. She refused to accept praise that was undeserved. She went back to West Virginia where she resumed her former life. She has repeatedly criticized the Army for making up details for propaganda. Now that's heroism.
Then there's the saga of Pat Tilman, the Army ranger who quit pro football only to be killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan. The only truth we know thus far is that the Pentagon was so desperate to turn Tilman into the poster boy for American patriotism they barely investigated his death at all. His family is theatening legal action.
I'm sure that all of the heroes of this unnecessary conflict deserve the medals and decorations that have been awarded. However, when a government has shown itself to be as self serving and deceitful as this one, nothing can be taken at face value. It is not the bravery of our military that we question but the government spinners that provide the information. For them, even section "B" is too prominent.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The subject of illegal immigration refuses to go away. I continue to be saddened and surprised by the venom with which so many Americans view this issue. Yes, Latin immigrants, illegal and otherwise are poor and poor people commit crimes and go to jail. They work for subsistence wages and therefore need a little help. Call it "welfare" if it makes you feel superior. Are we so far from the Irish slums of lower New York that the smell no longer seems familiar? Are the "Irish need not apply" signs so far in our past that we no longer feel the sting and the shame?
This discussion isn't about misguided California school boards who want bilingual education in their schools (something that Spanish speakers don't want and didn't ask for). It's about third and fourth generation Americans with an unnatural fear of Latin influences on American culture.
Who are we...the French? What is it we're protecting? Regardless of immigrants from Mexico, Americans will still have the God-given right to mangle the language, eat at McDonald's, watch "America's Funniest Home Videos", and send mildly pornographic jokes to their friends during working hours. Viva America!
You say that you didn't invite them but whenever you hire a lawn service or admire the greens at your country club, you invited them. When you bitch about the cost of a head of lettuce or a pound of tomatoes, you invited them. When you express surprise at the $20 breakfast bill at the diner, you invited them. If you think the cost of gasoline is out of sight, wait 'til you have to pay Americans to cut grass and bus tables.
Most of the people who are here illegally risked their lives to come. Considering their numbers, they are invisible to most of us most of the time. It's true that your taxes are used to provide assistance to an illegal underground population, but it can't be any more painful than the billions that George W. Bush is using to fight his immoral, unnecessary war.
I don't have a single answer to this problem but I'm pretty sure that hate and fear won't make it any better. Let's just have a hot dog and a cerveza and keep talking about it.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
...or will America ever embrace a "smart" candidate?
Item
Al Gore was in Washington, DC this week addressing the students of George Washington University regarding his latest book, "Assault On Reason". (This is Al's fifth book which is one more than George W. Bush owns and two more than he has read.) One look at the SRO crowd packing Lisner Auditorium and you come away with a startling discovery: Al Gore is the hottest thing in politics (Fred Dalton Thompson notwithstanding).
Free of the consultants that crippled his run for president in 2000, Al has found his voice. Now that he is wearing a roomier pair of pants he has space for the all the intelligence that was squeezed out of the khakis he wore the last time. Should he decide to run (50-50 at this point) he will raise the level of discourse to a level befitting an American Presidential election. A sure road to disaster.
Sadly, even if Al gets nominated, he has virtually no shot to be elected. Middle America has shown time and time again that it has no love for candidates with brains. Exhibit A, of course, is the current occupant of 1600. Quod erat demonstrandum. If George W. is the benchmark for intellect in America, there is a real possibility that Barbaro (had he not died) could have been elected Governor of Kentucky.
Karl Rove sees Al Gore as a dream candidate. The easiest politician to defeat is someone that actually stands for something and has been foolish enough to write it down. Rove might have trouble with Obama. His record is too thin to eviscerate. Gore, on the other hand, is a political assassin dream. He admits to having read Gibbon's The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (GWB is waiting for the movie). He can discuss Galbraith, Mill and McLuhan (George understands them to be the heart of the Texas Rangers batting order). When challenged to "wax philosophically" Mr. Bush seems likely to reach for the Simonize. In an era of sound bites and catch-phrases, a candidate with intellectual credentials is a dead duck.
Recent examples abound. Disregarding the obsequious adoration being heaped on Ronald Reagan especially since his death, no one ever accused "The Great Communicator" of communicating any deep thoughts. Nevertheless, he defeated Jimmy Carter, himself a student of nuclear engineering, who was no match for a man who started every response with, "Well...".
Face it, Nebraska thinks that "elite" is a dirty word. "Intellectual" is a non-starter. Middle America wants the common touch. They want a down-to-earth guy (and it better be a guy's guy) who thinks like them. OK, hold that thought. Why would you ever vote for someone that thinks a perfect evening's entertainment is a six-pack of Coors and reruns of American Idol and Survivor, Fiji? What ever happened to America's Best and Brightest? Have they really been replaced by Dumb and Dumber?
America voted for George W. Bush because he didn't threaten anyone's sense of self. Eastern "intellectuals" like John Kerry (if Kerry is an intellectual, I'm Walter Winchell) appear smug to farmers in Missouri. Candidates from the East Coast act as if they know what's best for America and you're a hayseed. George Bush makes everyone around him feel smarter. He looks a little lost; like you or I would be. His language (whatever language he speaks) isn't polished. He has made being ordinary into a trademark. When he enters a room, the band should forget "Hail to the Chief" and strike up "Ode For the Common Man".
I have an idea! How about we nominate a candidate with an IQ in triple digits? How about we choose for the most important job in the world, a person who has more upstairs than a great haircut (John Edwards notwithstanding)? We're talking about a President who will not only have to lead America through a truly perilous time but will have to undo all of the harm done by Clueless George in the last eight years. It is imperative that, when someone says "boob" we immediately think of breasts rather than our Commander in Chief. Let's draft Al Gore for President. He's tan, refreshed and ready...and he has clearly had lunch!
Al Gore was in Washington, DC this week addressing the students of George Washington University regarding his latest book, "Assault On Reason". (This is Al's fifth book which is one more than George W. Bush owns and two more than he has read.) One look at the SRO crowd packing Lisner Auditorium and you come away with a startling discovery: Al Gore is the hottest thing in politics (Fred Dalton Thompson notwithstanding).
Free of the consultants that crippled his run for president in 2000, Al has found his voice. Now that he is wearing a roomier pair of pants he has space for the all the intelligence that was squeezed out of the khakis he wore the last time. Should he decide to run (50-50 at this point) he will raise the level of discourse to a level befitting an American Presidential election. A sure road to disaster.
Sadly, even if Al gets nominated, he has virtually no shot to be elected. Middle America has shown time and time again that it has no love for candidates with brains. Exhibit A, of course, is the current occupant of 1600. Quod erat demonstrandum. If George W. is the benchmark for intellect in America, there is a real possibility that Barbaro (had he not died) could have been elected Governor of Kentucky.
Karl Rove sees Al Gore as a dream candidate. The easiest politician to defeat is someone that actually stands for something and has been foolish enough to write it down. Rove might have trouble with Obama. His record is too thin to eviscerate. Gore, on the other hand, is a political assassin dream. He admits to having read Gibbon's The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (GWB is waiting for the movie). He can discuss Galbraith, Mill and McLuhan (George understands them to be the heart of the Texas Rangers batting order). When challenged to "wax philosophically" Mr. Bush seems likely to reach for the Simonize. In an era of sound bites and catch-phrases, a candidate with intellectual credentials is a dead duck.
Recent examples abound. Disregarding the obsequious adoration being heaped on Ronald Reagan especially since his death, no one ever accused "The Great Communicator" of communicating any deep thoughts. Nevertheless, he defeated Jimmy Carter, himself a student of nuclear engineering, who was no match for a man who started every response with, "Well...".
Face it, Nebraska thinks that "elite" is a dirty word. "Intellectual" is a non-starter. Middle America wants the common touch. They want a down-to-earth guy (and it better be a guy's guy) who thinks like them. OK, hold that thought. Why would you ever vote for someone that thinks a perfect evening's entertainment is a six-pack of Coors and reruns of American Idol and Survivor, Fiji? What ever happened to America's Best and Brightest? Have they really been replaced by Dumb and Dumber?
America voted for George W. Bush because he didn't threaten anyone's sense of self. Eastern "intellectuals" like John Kerry (if Kerry is an intellectual, I'm Walter Winchell) appear smug to farmers in Missouri. Candidates from the East Coast act as if they know what's best for America and you're a hayseed. George Bush makes everyone around him feel smarter. He looks a little lost; like you or I would be. His language (whatever language he speaks) isn't polished. He has made being ordinary into a trademark. When he enters a room, the band should forget "Hail to the Chief" and strike up "Ode For the Common Man".
I have an idea! How about we nominate a candidate with an IQ in triple digits? How about we choose for the most important job in the world, a person who has more upstairs than a great haircut (John Edwards notwithstanding)? We're talking about a President who will not only have to lead America through a truly perilous time but will have to undo all of the harm done by Clueless George in the last eight years. It is imperative that, when someone says "boob" we immediately think of breasts rather than our Commander in Chief. Let's draft Al Gore for President. He's tan, refreshed and ready...and he has clearly had lunch!
Monday, May 21, 2007
... or can you never get too much of a good thing?
Item
We probably can't jail George W. Bush for being the most incompetent leader since Charlie Chaplin's Dictator so I guess we must be content flogging his hirelings. This brings us to the doorstep of one Monica Goodling (great name). Unlike the last Monica, it appears that Ms. Goodling did her "job" standing up.
Monica G. was a top aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and as such is up to her briefcase in the US Attorney firings that have been in the news for the last few months. The rock-turning that uncovered Ms. Goodling also revealed an interesting fact. As of a recent survey by The Boston Globe, the Bush Justice Department had hired a staggering 150 graduates of Regent University Law School, Ms. Goodling among them. If you haven't heard of Regent don't be too surprised. It used to be known as CBN (for Christian Broadcasting Network) School of Law. The school is the incubation chamber for Pat Robertson's own brand of Christian lawyers. Those would be the ones that blame 9-11 on homosexuals... God's wrath, you know! Pat serves as President.
Loyalty to a particular school is charming but, considering the serious nature of the Justice Department's mandate one would hope for scholars from an institution higher in standing than the Acme School of Air Conditioner Repair. US News & World Report ranks Regent U. in the fourth which is the bottom tier. Apparently the only legal training that the Ashcroft/Gonzales Justice Dept. required was a working knowledge of the Ten Commandments.
In any event, Ms. Monica has resigned from Justice and exercised her right to avoid self-incrimination under the Fifth Amendment. Who says these kids don't know the law?
____________________________________________________________________
Item
After 20 plus years of hand wringing, the Senate has finally produced a bill addressing the issue of illegal immigration. I don't care how you feel about this problem, some praise should attend the document that Senators from both parties cobbled together. Before you trash the work done on this legislation, consider the following:
There are 12 million illegal immigrants in America.
We have no way to arrest and deport them and traffic being what it is, they are not likely to leave voluntarily.
Many illegals provide the workforce that, like it or not, keeps goods and services in America moving.
The vast majority of Latinos come here to work. They are not looking to rape the American economy by mooching free health care and free libraries.
Spanish speaking people will assimilate exactly the way the Irish, Italians and Poles assimilated. Their children will learn English (just like the Irish had to), because the American Dream that prompted them to risk their lives getting here doesn't come with Spanish subtitles.
American culture will be changed.
Now, armed with the facts as presented, how about we consider the new legislation as a starting point for a serious debate about the best way to handle a situation that already exists?
We probably can't jail George W. Bush for being the most incompetent leader since Charlie Chaplin's Dictator so I guess we must be content flogging his hirelings. This brings us to the doorstep of one Monica Goodling (great name). Unlike the last Monica, it appears that Ms. Goodling did her "job" standing up.
Monica G. was a top aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and as such is up to her briefcase in the US Attorney firings that have been in the news for the last few months. The rock-turning that uncovered Ms. Goodling also revealed an interesting fact. As of a recent survey by The Boston Globe, the Bush Justice Department had hired a staggering 150 graduates of Regent University Law School, Ms. Goodling among them. If you haven't heard of Regent don't be too surprised. It used to be known as CBN (for Christian Broadcasting Network) School of Law. The school is the incubation chamber for Pat Robertson's own brand of Christian lawyers. Those would be the ones that blame 9-11 on homosexuals... God's wrath, you know! Pat serves as President.
Loyalty to a particular school is charming but, considering the serious nature of the Justice Department's mandate one would hope for scholars from an institution higher in standing than the Acme School of Air Conditioner Repair. US News & World Report ranks Regent U. in the fourth which is the bottom tier. Apparently the only legal training that the Ashcroft/Gonzales Justice Dept. required was a working knowledge of the Ten Commandments.
In any event, Ms. Monica has resigned from Justice and exercised her right to avoid self-incrimination under the Fifth Amendment. Who says these kids don't know the law?
____________________________________________________________________
Item
After 20 plus years of hand wringing, the Senate has finally produced a bill addressing the issue of illegal immigration. I don't care how you feel about this problem, some praise should attend the document that Senators from both parties cobbled together. Before you trash the work done on this legislation, consider the following:
There are 12 million illegal immigrants in America.
We have no way to arrest and deport them and traffic being what it is, they are not likely to leave voluntarily.
Many illegals provide the workforce that, like it or not, keeps goods and services in America moving.
The vast majority of Latinos come here to work. They are not looking to rape the American economy by mooching free health care and free libraries.
Spanish speaking people will assimilate exactly the way the Irish, Italians and Poles assimilated. Their children will learn English (just like the Irish had to), because the American Dream that prompted them to risk their lives getting here doesn't come with Spanish subtitles.
American culture will be changed.
Now, armed with the facts as presented, how about we consider the new legislation as a starting point for a serious debate about the best way to handle a situation that already exists?
Friday, May 18, 2007
...or is a news roundup always a good idea?
Blogging a dead horse
Item
Paul Wolfowitz, the man that orchestrated the symphony that is the Iraq War, has been forced out of the presidency of the World Bank. Thank you, Jesus!
Do any of us care about the World Bank or who runs it? Of course not. What we care about is that a Bush appointee, fresh from miring America in a war we can't win, has been tossed out of a job on the world stage. Why? For slipping his honey the money. Delicious!
The L'affaire Wolfie is a microcosm of the Bush Administration's entire approach to foreign policy. Simply stated it goes like this..."We are America. We are always right. We are a super power and you're not. We will tell you what's good for you. Europe is full of a bunch of socialist, pseudo-aristocrats with no convictions and no balls."
It will take years to fix this mess. I hope we don't need the Europeans for anything important any time soon.
By the way, let's see how long Paul W. can hold on to his squeeze now that he's no longer the paymaster at the World Bank. Hey Paul, think e-harmony. Just don't tell them that you look like your face is melting.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
And speaking of holding on, Alberto Gonzales is about to join Mr. Wolfowitz on the unemployment line. You may remember Alberto for his efforts to include water-boarding as a spectator sport in Abu Ghraib Olympics.
It seems that Alberto's primary role as Attorney General for the Bush Cartel was to rubber stamp the firing of US Attorneys who weren't dancing to Karl Rove's tune. The logic went...if you're not vigorously prosecuting Democrats you're a slacker. Off with your head!
Once again, does anyone except the fired US Attorneys' mothers, care who serves in the Justice Department? No. What we care about is that yet another of the Bush team that duped America into war is headed for the stocks.
As for the other "warriors" in the Bush Circle, it appears likely that most of the villains in this piece will be allowed to sneak away before a case can be made against them. Rove's erased emails will keep him from the jailhouse door for the moment. Until we pass a law making arrogance and gross incompetence in office a felony, Rumsfeld will also escape the justice he so richly deserves. Cheney may yet see a courtroom. Valerie Plame has filed a civil suit over her outing as a CIA operative. This is coming to be known as, "OJ Justice".
George W. Bush, legally incapable of forming the intent to commit a crime, will hopefully spend the next 19 months having his picture taken with Tony Blair. His punishment will be writ large in the history books.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
A group of statisticians has determined that black players in the NBA are more likely to be called for a foul than white players when the official is white. What?
Who do we think imagined that this tragedy of social injustice needed investigation? Do Latin players suffer at the hands of white umpires? Where are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson when we really need them? (I take that back. We never really need them.)
White NBA players must have been delighted to learn that, should they ever actually get into a game, the zebras will be pulling for them. No wonder Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki have been league MVP's for the last three years. The guys in the striped shirts are helping them run downhill. I understand that the officials in the NFL are having a more difficult time helping white football players. Must be the helmets.
____________________________________________________________________
Ongoing Item
We are approaching four months and, wonder of wonders, Rev. Ted Haggard hasn't fallen off the gay wagon. It has been reported that most of his homosexual habits have been held at bay. He is no longer lobbying his local church to institute a "prayer brunch". He has discarded almost all of his spandex vestments. He has cancelled his subscription to Loins magazine. He still apparently listens to Streisand but only the soundtrack of Yentil.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
The Commonwealth of Virginia is incensed that New York's Mayor Michael Bloomberg is running sting operations in Virginia to prove how easy it is to buy a gun in Virginia in spite of state and federal rules. Virginia is blustering to hide its embarrassment over the fact that guns are easier to buy than a pack of cigarettes.
I have an idea. Every time a gun shop owner sells a handgun in violation of the law, the purchaser can shot the vendor in the foot. I'll bet sellers would be a lot more careful if there was a chance that they might be the beneficiary of their malfeasance. OK so I can dream, can't I?
Item
Paul Wolfowitz, the man that orchestrated the symphony that is the Iraq War, has been forced out of the presidency of the World Bank. Thank you, Jesus!
Do any of us care about the World Bank or who runs it? Of course not. What we care about is that a Bush appointee, fresh from miring America in a war we can't win, has been tossed out of a job on the world stage. Why? For slipping his honey the money. Delicious!
The L'affaire Wolfie is a microcosm of the Bush Administration's entire approach to foreign policy. Simply stated it goes like this..."We are America. We are always right. We are a super power and you're not. We will tell you what's good for you. Europe is full of a bunch of socialist, pseudo-aristocrats with no convictions and no balls."
It will take years to fix this mess. I hope we don't need the Europeans for anything important any time soon.
By the way, let's see how long Paul W. can hold on to his squeeze now that he's no longer the paymaster at the World Bank. Hey Paul, think e-harmony. Just don't tell them that you look like your face is melting.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
And speaking of holding on, Alberto Gonzales is about to join Mr. Wolfowitz on the unemployment line. You may remember Alberto for his efforts to include water-boarding as a spectator sport in Abu Ghraib Olympics.
It seems that Alberto's primary role as Attorney General for the Bush Cartel was to rubber stamp the firing of US Attorneys who weren't dancing to Karl Rove's tune. The logic went...if you're not vigorously prosecuting Democrats you're a slacker. Off with your head!
Once again, does anyone except the fired US Attorneys' mothers, care who serves in the Justice Department? No. What we care about is that yet another of the Bush team that duped America into war is headed for the stocks.
As for the other "warriors" in the Bush Circle, it appears likely that most of the villains in this piece will be allowed to sneak away before a case can be made against them. Rove's erased emails will keep him from the jailhouse door for the moment. Until we pass a law making arrogance and gross incompetence in office a felony, Rumsfeld will also escape the justice he so richly deserves. Cheney may yet see a courtroom. Valerie Plame has filed a civil suit over her outing as a CIA operative. This is coming to be known as, "OJ Justice".
George W. Bush, legally incapable of forming the intent to commit a crime, will hopefully spend the next 19 months having his picture taken with Tony Blair. His punishment will be writ large in the history books.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
A group of statisticians has determined that black players in the NBA are more likely to be called for a foul than white players when the official is white. What?
Who do we think imagined that this tragedy of social injustice needed investigation? Do Latin players suffer at the hands of white umpires? Where are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson when we really need them? (I take that back. We never really need them.)
White NBA players must have been delighted to learn that, should they ever actually get into a game, the zebras will be pulling for them. No wonder Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki have been league MVP's for the last three years. The guys in the striped shirts are helping them run downhill. I understand that the officials in the NFL are having a more difficult time helping white football players. Must be the helmets.
____________________________________________________________________
Ongoing Item
We are approaching four months and, wonder of wonders, Rev. Ted Haggard hasn't fallen off the gay wagon. It has been reported that most of his homosexual habits have been held at bay. He is no longer lobbying his local church to institute a "prayer brunch". He has discarded almost all of his spandex vestments. He has cancelled his subscription to Loins magazine. He still apparently listens to Streisand but only the soundtrack of Yentil.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
The Commonwealth of Virginia is incensed that New York's Mayor Michael Bloomberg is running sting operations in Virginia to prove how easy it is to buy a gun in Virginia in spite of state and federal rules. Virginia is blustering to hide its embarrassment over the fact that guns are easier to buy than a pack of cigarettes.
I have an idea. Every time a gun shop owner sells a handgun in violation of the law, the purchaser can shot the vendor in the foot. I'll bet sellers would be a lot more careful if there was a chance that they might be the beneficiary of their malfeasance. OK so I can dream, can't I?
Thursday, May 17, 2007
...or is giving a gun to everyone a really bad idea?
I was born in the wrong country.
While the other kids were watching The Man From U.N.C.L.E., I was tuning in to The Saint. America was all about I Spy but I was all about The Prisoner. OK, so everybody got James Bond but I got Harry Palmer. Cowboys like Jim West were much more appealing to me than the shoot first and ask questions later types.
As a result of this obviously twisted upbringing, you can imagine my reaction to the suggestion from some Virginia legislators, that all Virginia college students over the age of 21 be allowed to "carry concealed". Holy body bags, Batman! What kind of nutjob thinks this is a good idea? One such person is David Briggman. As a former police officer you would think that he would be familiar with the harm that guns can do and therefore welcome any restriction. You would be wrong.
Mr. Briggman is one of those folks that thinks if all of the Virginia Tech students were packing on April 16th, Seung-Hui Cho, America's newest three-name killer, would not have been able to murder 32 of his fellow students and wound 25 more. What an interesting theory!
For as horrific as the shootings in Blacksburg were, it's hard to imagine that the situation could have been improved if there were a real western-style gun battle. Imagine the collateral damage from that scenario. Five or six students firing back might have saved lives or they might have killed another half dozen by mistake. How would we treat those who shot students in the panic? Sounds like a great plot line for Law and Order.
How did we get to the point where a portion of our population feels that the solution to violence is more violence? You can't blame TV. The Canadians and most of Europe watch our shows and they are not running around armed to the teeth. There's something in our DNA that makes us believe that gunfire is the best way to settle an argument. Let's call it the JW (for John Wayne) chromosome.
It could be that our civilization is still very young. For the first 900 years of their existence as a country, the Brits solved every problem the same way...they declared war on France. Ditto for the French. From Hastings to Waterloo the English never met a Frenchman that wouldn't look better draped across his shield. By that reckoning, we still have another 700 or so years of madness ahead of us. Check, please!
Americans apparently feel helpless in the face of violent crime and the only logical response (if you can call it logical) is to fight fire with firearms. The fallacy of this argument is that most Americans couldn't shoot another person even if they thought the killing justified. If you think it's easy to shoot a person, ask a cop that has had to fire his/her weapon in the line of duty. If they tell you it was no problem, they're lying.
Europeans have apparently either had their JW chromosome removed or they have evolved to the point that, like prehensile tails, the gene went dormant and fell off. Unfortunately, so many Americans don't believe in evolution that surgery may be the only answer.
In the meantime, I need to weigh the pros and cons of moving to the UK.
Good things: beer, men's fashion, pubs (see also beer), accent.
Bad things : weather, cost, driving on the wrong side, women's fashion, dentistry.
I would have included Benny Hill on the good side but I understand he's dead. Gee, I hope some American didn't shoot him.
While the other kids were watching The Man From U.N.C.L.E., I was tuning in to The Saint. America was all about I Spy but I was all about The Prisoner. OK, so everybody got James Bond but I got Harry Palmer. Cowboys like Jim West were much more appealing to me than the shoot first and ask questions later types.
As a result of this obviously twisted upbringing, you can imagine my reaction to the suggestion from some Virginia legislators, that all Virginia college students over the age of 21 be allowed to "carry concealed". Holy body bags, Batman! What kind of nutjob thinks this is a good idea? One such person is David Briggman. As a former police officer you would think that he would be familiar with the harm that guns can do and therefore welcome any restriction. You would be wrong.
Mr. Briggman is one of those folks that thinks if all of the Virginia Tech students were packing on April 16th, Seung-Hui Cho, America's newest three-name killer, would not have been able to murder 32 of his fellow students and wound 25 more. What an interesting theory!
For as horrific as the shootings in Blacksburg were, it's hard to imagine that the situation could have been improved if there were a real western-style gun battle. Imagine the collateral damage from that scenario. Five or six students firing back might have saved lives or they might have killed another half dozen by mistake. How would we treat those who shot students in the panic? Sounds like a great plot line for Law and Order.
How did we get to the point where a portion of our population feels that the solution to violence is more violence? You can't blame TV. The Canadians and most of Europe watch our shows and they are not running around armed to the teeth. There's something in our DNA that makes us believe that gunfire is the best way to settle an argument. Let's call it the JW (for John Wayne) chromosome.
It could be that our civilization is still very young. For the first 900 years of their existence as a country, the Brits solved every problem the same way...they declared war on France. Ditto for the French. From Hastings to Waterloo the English never met a Frenchman that wouldn't look better draped across his shield. By that reckoning, we still have another 700 or so years of madness ahead of us. Check, please!
Americans apparently feel helpless in the face of violent crime and the only logical response (if you can call it logical) is to fight fire with firearms. The fallacy of this argument is that most Americans couldn't shoot another person even if they thought the killing justified. If you think it's easy to shoot a person, ask a cop that has had to fire his/her weapon in the line of duty. If they tell you it was no problem, they're lying.
Europeans have apparently either had their JW chromosome removed or they have evolved to the point that, like prehensile tails, the gene went dormant and fell off. Unfortunately, so many Americans don't believe in evolution that surgery may be the only answer.
In the meantime, I need to weigh the pros and cons of moving to the UK.
Good things: beer, men's fashion, pubs (see also beer), accent.
Bad things : weather, cost, driving on the wrong side, women's fashion, dentistry.
I would have included Benny Hill on the good side but I understand he's dead. Gee, I hope some American didn't shoot him.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
...has America learned nothing from 2000 & 2004?
My fellow Americans, I have asked you here today to discuss an issue that should be of paramount importance to the entire country. It would appear that, in spite of eight years of the most corrupt, inept, ham-handed, cynical government since Tricky Dick, nothing has changed. At a time when even Kansas is looking for candidates that stand for something...anything, the political podium is still populated with wannabes pandering to what is dumbest and most derisive in America.
As exhibit "A" please direct your attention to the ten geniuses running for the Republican nomination for president. During the first debate, held under the wing of a mothballed Air Force One, the "Gang of Ten" was asked how many of them believed in evolution. No foolin'! That's like asking how many believe that the theory of aerodynamics allows planes to fly. This was a chance for ten, presumably educated men, to join the entire scientific community and every American with an IQ of two digits, to proclaim that, faith aside, evolution was an established, scientific fact.
Well America, I hope you're happy with 70% because three of your presidential hopefuls reject what every scientist, including the Professor on Gilligan's Island, knows to be true. For those keeping score, this particular hall of shame includes Tom Tancredo, Sam Brownback (from Kansas. What a surprise!) and the Rev. Mike Huckabee. Thankfully, no follow-up questions were asked regarding the spherical nature of the Earth or the color of the dairy product that constitutes the composition of the Moon.
Now, you and I both know that every red-voting, Iraq-supporting, gun-loving, Jesus-hugging member of the "Republican Ten" has accepted evolution as a certainty. Several of them have had to make some sort of accommodation with their religious beliefs but it is impossible for anyone who has read anything more technical that "The Pet Goat" to reject evolution as anything but settled science. Gentlemen please, if you feel the urge to have your Christian right credentials stamped in public, stay with abortion and gay rights. At least that brands you as nothing more than a garden-variety cretin. Try not to add "Luddite" to your curriculum vitae.
I believe that the vast majority of voting America, if they watch these debates at all, wants to see a little backbone. So far, with a few exceptions, all of these candidates are leaning so far to the right that the Republican ship is listing to starboard (more, even, than usual). It took Rudi "the cross-dressing mayor" Giuliani to admit that he is in favor of a women's right to choose and even then he promised to appoint conservative judges who would, presumably, overturn Roe.
John McCain, who actually had some integrity in 2000, can't bring himself to state that the Bush administration has made a complete hash out of Iraq. He wrings his hands over "mistakes" and "missteps" without ever speaking the obvious... that no self-respecting soldier or general would follow George W. Bush into a men's room let alone into combat. I guess that McCain learned that principles, especially controversial ones, won't get you the nomination. Wrong!
McCain wasn't beaten in 2000 because he had core beliefs that differed from the Republican mainstream. He lost because he had beliefs at all. The "Party" (read Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Wolfowicz, et al) wanted a lite-weight puff ball with an identifiable name and as little upstairs as possible. Hello George! If the Republicans could have found a dim bulb named Reagan, GWB would be clearing brush in Crawford for a living as we speak.
Just for the record, Hillary Clinton is doing the same dance on the Democratic stage. It seems that she is in favor of the war but, if she knew then what she knows now, she wouldn't have voted for it. Well, that settles that. I assume that that theory also applies to her marriage. (Sorry!)
Sadly, I suspect that none of the Republican Presidential hopefuls are reading my pearls of wisdom. If however, six degrees of separation brings any of my thoughts to the attention of any candidate, I'm begging you, Stand for Something. Take a position. Dare to be different. Even if you don't get to be President, you'll sleep better...unless, of course the theory of gravity is just a theory, in which case you'll just float around all night.
As exhibit "A" please direct your attention to the ten geniuses running for the Republican nomination for president. During the first debate, held under the wing of a mothballed Air Force One, the "Gang of Ten" was asked how many of them believed in evolution. No foolin'! That's like asking how many believe that the theory of aerodynamics allows planes to fly. This was a chance for ten, presumably educated men, to join the entire scientific community and every American with an IQ of two digits, to proclaim that, faith aside, evolution was an established, scientific fact.
Well America, I hope you're happy with 70% because three of your presidential hopefuls reject what every scientist, including the Professor on Gilligan's Island, knows to be true. For those keeping score, this particular hall of shame includes Tom Tancredo, Sam Brownback (from Kansas. What a surprise!) and the Rev. Mike Huckabee. Thankfully, no follow-up questions were asked regarding the spherical nature of the Earth or the color of the dairy product that constitutes the composition of the Moon.
Now, you and I both know that every red-voting, Iraq-supporting, gun-loving, Jesus-hugging member of the "Republican Ten" has accepted evolution as a certainty. Several of them have had to make some sort of accommodation with their religious beliefs but it is impossible for anyone who has read anything more technical that "The Pet Goat" to reject evolution as anything but settled science. Gentlemen please, if you feel the urge to have your Christian right credentials stamped in public, stay with abortion and gay rights. At least that brands you as nothing more than a garden-variety cretin. Try not to add "Luddite" to your curriculum vitae.
I believe that the vast majority of voting America, if they watch these debates at all, wants to see a little backbone. So far, with a few exceptions, all of these candidates are leaning so far to the right that the Republican ship is listing to starboard (more, even, than usual). It took Rudi "the cross-dressing mayor" Giuliani to admit that he is in favor of a women's right to choose and even then he promised to appoint conservative judges who would, presumably, overturn Roe.
John McCain, who actually had some integrity in 2000, can't bring himself to state that the Bush administration has made a complete hash out of Iraq. He wrings his hands over "mistakes" and "missteps" without ever speaking the obvious... that no self-respecting soldier or general would follow George W. Bush into a men's room let alone into combat. I guess that McCain learned that principles, especially controversial ones, won't get you the nomination. Wrong!
McCain wasn't beaten in 2000 because he had core beliefs that differed from the Republican mainstream. He lost because he had beliefs at all. The "Party" (read Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Wolfowicz, et al) wanted a lite-weight puff ball with an identifiable name and as little upstairs as possible. Hello George! If the Republicans could have found a dim bulb named Reagan, GWB would be clearing brush in Crawford for a living as we speak.
Just for the record, Hillary Clinton is doing the same dance on the Democratic stage. It seems that she is in favor of the war but, if she knew then what she knows now, she wouldn't have voted for it. Well, that settles that. I assume that that theory also applies to her marriage. (Sorry!)
Sadly, I suspect that none of the Republican Presidential hopefuls are reading my pearls of wisdom. If however, six degrees of separation brings any of my thoughts to the attention of any candidate, I'm begging you, Stand for Something. Take a position. Dare to be different. Even if you don't get to be President, you'll sleep better...unless, of course the theory of gravity is just a theory, in which case you'll just float around all night.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
...or are you still missing the best stories?
More news you can't use.
Item
Pope Benedict XVI announced this week that the Catholic Church was closing Limbo. After an 800 year run, the Vatican has decided that unbaptized babies do go to heaven after all. None of the babies in question were available for comment but one can imagine their relief. Less relieved are the thousands of parents of stillborn children who were denied burial in consecrated ground for their babies. Over-organized religion has a lot to answer for.
Having resolved this compelling theological question, the Holy See will begin to unravel the more vexing concept of the infield fly rule.
As long as the Church is in such a wild and crazy mood, how about a re-think on condoms and women in the priesthood.
_____________________________________________________________________
Item
A Sudanese man was forced to take a goat as his wife after he was caught having sex with it/her. You cannot make this stuff up!
And you were wondering why these places are referred to as the third world? If everyone in the Sudan was required to marry the barnyard animals with whom they had copulated, there would be a lot more pigs and sheep shopping the bridal dept. at Saks.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Don Imus will be getting his first Christmas card this year from C. Vivian Stringer, coach of the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team. Thanks to the I man, Ms. Stringer (there's no crying in basketball) is the proud owner of a $450,000 contract extension. Although her success on the court should have been enough to insure a hefty raise, there's little doubt that her martyrdom at the hands of Don Imus provided some additional incentive for the president of her university.
Rutgers could hardly have stiffed the women who gallantly defended her players from a cruel slur that went largely unnoticed when it was first broadcast.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
It is being widely reported that Harry Reid, Democratic Senator from Nevada and Vice President Dick Cheney have been engaged in, what is being called, a war of words. This is significant in that it is the first war in which Mr. Cheney has actually taken an active role. Although the VP was a no show in Vietnam, he apparently feels that a 68 year old Mormon is less likely to inflict grievous bodily harm. And you thought that Cheney left his balls in that undisclosed location after 9/11. Shame on you.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
As most of you have heard by now, Rosie O'Donell is leaving her gig as one of the gabbers on The View. Apparently Rosie wanted a one year deal but ABC wanted her for three.
Never one to remain silent, Donald Trump, the hair piece from hell, opined that Rosie was fired.
Seemingly, no one mentioned to Don that ratings for The View are up 17% since Rosie joined the cast. And how does that compare with the numbers for The Apprentice? I thought you'd never ask. Since his first year in 2003, Trump's overall audience has dropped from 20 million to 10. I guess America's interest in watching a self-important creep trash a bunch of snotty kids in expensive suits has its limits after all.
I understand that you can now purchase the rights to the phrase "You're fired" on ebay right alongside Jimmy Walker's "Dy no mite!" and Hawaii Five O's! "Book 'em Dano".
Item
Pope Benedict XVI announced this week that the Catholic Church was closing Limbo. After an 800 year run, the Vatican has decided that unbaptized babies do go to heaven after all. None of the babies in question were available for comment but one can imagine their relief. Less relieved are the thousands of parents of stillborn children who were denied burial in consecrated ground for their babies. Over-organized religion has a lot to answer for.
Having resolved this compelling theological question, the Holy See will begin to unravel the more vexing concept of the infield fly rule.
As long as the Church is in such a wild and crazy mood, how about a re-think on condoms and women in the priesthood.
_____________________________________________________________________
Item
A Sudanese man was forced to take a goat as his wife after he was caught having sex with it/her. You cannot make this stuff up!
And you were wondering why these places are referred to as the third world? If everyone in the Sudan was required to marry the barnyard animals with whom they had copulated, there would be a lot more pigs and sheep shopping the bridal dept. at Saks.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
Don Imus will be getting his first Christmas card this year from C. Vivian Stringer, coach of the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team. Thanks to the I man, Ms. Stringer (there's no crying in basketball) is the proud owner of a $450,000 contract extension. Although her success on the court should have been enough to insure a hefty raise, there's little doubt that her martyrdom at the hands of Don Imus provided some additional incentive for the president of her university.
Rutgers could hardly have stiffed the women who gallantly defended her players from a cruel slur that went largely unnoticed when it was first broadcast.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
It is being widely reported that Harry Reid, Democratic Senator from Nevada and Vice President Dick Cheney have been engaged in, what is being called, a war of words. This is significant in that it is the first war in which Mr. Cheney has actually taken an active role. Although the VP was a no show in Vietnam, he apparently feels that a 68 year old Mormon is less likely to inflict grievous bodily harm. And you thought that Cheney left his balls in that undisclosed location after 9/11. Shame on you.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
As most of you have heard by now, Rosie O'Donell is leaving her gig as one of the gabbers on The View. Apparently Rosie wanted a one year deal but ABC wanted her for three.
Never one to remain silent, Donald Trump, the hair piece from hell, opined that Rosie was fired.
Seemingly, no one mentioned to Don that ratings for The View are up 17% since Rosie joined the cast. And how does that compare with the numbers for The Apprentice? I thought you'd never ask. Since his first year in 2003, Trump's overall audience has dropped from 20 million to 10. I guess America's interest in watching a self-important creep trash a bunch of snotty kids in expensive suits has its limits after all.
I understand that you can now purchase the rights to the phrase "You're fired" on ebay right alongside Jimmy Walker's "Dy no mite!" and Hawaii Five O's! "Book 'em Dano".
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
...is the slaughter of 32 kids in Virginia enough for America to stop kissing the ass of the NRA?
Amendment II, United States Constitution
"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."
If you think that this reads like a blanket license to own as many handguns as a third world country, then you have less brains than a head of lettuce or George W. Bush.
I don't claim to know what was in the minds of the founding fathers when the Second Amendment was passed in 1791 but I know this; when the authors of our Constitution wanted to affirm a right or deny an action, they did it.
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...".
"No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the consent of the owner...".
These amendments seem clear, don't they? No extra words. No intentionally ambiguous language. Why then, if the framers wanted Americans to have an unrestricted license to own firearms, did they insert the phrase, "A well regulated militia, being necessary.." into the second amendment?
The only logical conclusion is that the leaders of this new country wished to make a distinction between arming the populace for the common defense and the arbitrary and unfettered ownership of ordnance. Why is that so difficult to grasp?
No one is suggesting that the tragedy at Virginia Tech would have been averted if the gun laws in Virginia were more stringent. However, the ease with which Seung-Hui Cho was able to purchase two handguns and over 200 rounds of ammunition make the State a facilitator in the crime. The requirements for gun ownership in this country are so lax and porous as to be useless. America is not serious about restricting the purchase of handguns. Period.
Don't look to the White House for leadership or guidance on this issue. Clueless George is too busy trying to repeal the ban on assault weapons in the District of Columbia. That sounds like the single stupidest idea since ...say the invasion of Iraq. Why is there absolutely no political fallout from the attempt to arm Washington's gangs with machine guns? Because, say it with me, America is not serious about restricting the purchase of guns...any guns.
No one has asked for my opinion about gun ownership but as long as you're here, you might as well hear it.
1) Hunters can keep their rifles and shotguns. (I know that's big of me) I'm not a hunter but I get it. Most hunters are obsessively careful about the storage of their weapons anyway.
2) No one gets to carry a handgun or keep one in their home. If you like to shoot targets leave the gun at the range. If you get caught with a gun in your home you do three months in a county jail. People who think they need guns for protection, be my guest, but if you get caught you're going inside.
This includes the police department. Whoever dreamed up the idea of cops being on duty 24 hours a day never spent any time in a cop bar. Knowing that most of these inebriates are armed to the teeth is a sobering thought. Why should a police officer carry a concealed weapon at all times? Are sanitation workers required to pick up trash wherever and whenever they see it? Are teachers compelled to point out the historical inaccuracies of a movie while at a matinee? The police should be allowed to be as stupid and unruly as the rest of us without the fear of a .38 caliber exclamation point to an argument. Leave the gun at work.
3) Stop imports. We have plenty of companies dealing death in the US without help from Glock and Beretta.
4) We should begin to help Smith and Wesson and Remington get into a new line of manufacture. They can make rifles and shotguns as well as handguns for law enforcement and the military but only under contract and in limited supply.
5) Every advance in technology so far thwarted by the NRA should be adopted and implemented including gun registration, tagging the chemical composition of gun powder and, adopting fingerprint-recognition for gun triggers. Every gun gets registered. Every bullet for every weapon gets registered.
Wake up America. Guns kill people and the ease of purchase in this country makes the carnage at Columbine and Virginia Tech too easy and too frequent. We put millions of guns in the hands of our citizens and then affect shock when someone points one at another human being. At the risk of appearing insensitive, I suggest that the mourners currently decorating the Blacksburg campus with flowers begin to demonstrate at the Fairfax, VA home of the NRA. Get angry, people or get ready for the next tragedy.
"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."
If you think that this reads like a blanket license to own as many handguns as a third world country, then you have less brains than a head of lettuce or George W. Bush.
I don't claim to know what was in the minds of the founding fathers when the Second Amendment was passed in 1791 but I know this; when the authors of our Constitution wanted to affirm a right or deny an action, they did it.
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...".
"No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the consent of the owner...".
These amendments seem clear, don't they? No extra words. No intentionally ambiguous language. Why then, if the framers wanted Americans to have an unrestricted license to own firearms, did they insert the phrase, "A well regulated militia, being necessary.." into the second amendment?
The only logical conclusion is that the leaders of this new country wished to make a distinction between arming the populace for the common defense and the arbitrary and unfettered ownership of ordnance. Why is that so difficult to grasp?
No one is suggesting that the tragedy at Virginia Tech would have been averted if the gun laws in Virginia were more stringent. However, the ease with which Seung-Hui Cho was able to purchase two handguns and over 200 rounds of ammunition make the State a facilitator in the crime. The requirements for gun ownership in this country are so lax and porous as to be useless. America is not serious about restricting the purchase of handguns. Period.
Don't look to the White House for leadership or guidance on this issue. Clueless George is too busy trying to repeal the ban on assault weapons in the District of Columbia. That sounds like the single stupidest idea since ...say the invasion of Iraq. Why is there absolutely no political fallout from the attempt to arm Washington's gangs with machine guns? Because, say it with me, America is not serious about restricting the purchase of guns...any guns.
No one has asked for my opinion about gun ownership but as long as you're here, you might as well hear it.
1) Hunters can keep their rifles and shotguns. (I know that's big of me) I'm not a hunter but I get it. Most hunters are obsessively careful about the storage of their weapons anyway.
2) No one gets to carry a handgun or keep one in their home. If you like to shoot targets leave the gun at the range. If you get caught with a gun in your home you do three months in a county jail. People who think they need guns for protection, be my guest, but if you get caught you're going inside.
This includes the police department. Whoever dreamed up the idea of cops being on duty 24 hours a day never spent any time in a cop bar. Knowing that most of these inebriates are armed to the teeth is a sobering thought. Why should a police officer carry a concealed weapon at all times? Are sanitation workers required to pick up trash wherever and whenever they see it? Are teachers compelled to point out the historical inaccuracies of a movie while at a matinee? The police should be allowed to be as stupid and unruly as the rest of us without the fear of a .38 caliber exclamation point to an argument. Leave the gun at work.
3) Stop imports. We have plenty of companies dealing death in the US without help from Glock and Beretta.
4) We should begin to help Smith and Wesson and Remington get into a new line of manufacture. They can make rifles and shotguns as well as handguns for law enforcement and the military but only under contract and in limited supply.
5) Every advance in technology so far thwarted by the NRA should be adopted and implemented including gun registration, tagging the chemical composition of gun powder and, adopting fingerprint-recognition for gun triggers. Every gun gets registered. Every bullet for every weapon gets registered.
Wake up America. Guns kill people and the ease of purchase in this country makes the carnage at Columbine and Virginia Tech too easy and too frequent. We put millions of guns in the hands of our citizens and then affect shock when someone points one at another human being. At the risk of appearing insensitive, I suggest that the mourners currently decorating the Blacksburg campus with flowers begin to demonstrate at the Fairfax, VA home of the NRA. Get angry, people or get ready for the next tragedy.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
...or did these stories slip past?
There are no slow news days, only slow bloggers.
Item
George Christian, executive director of the Library Connection, has denied the FBI access to library records in the Hartford, Conn. area. Well, hats off to George. Who would have guessed that one librarian in New England would have more balls that the entire 535 members of Congress (Nancy Pelosi notwithstanding).
The Patriot Act is the worst single piece of legislation since the Alien and Sedition Laws enacted under John Adams. The Bush administration used the attack on 9/11 to enact a draconian set of abridgments to American freedom and repeal is long overdue.
Mr. Christian was quoted as stating that freedom of speech is still alive and well in Connecticut. There is, however, still no talking in the library. Shhhhhhhhhhh!
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The Department of Defense has extended the tour of duty of soldiers serving in Iraq from twelve to fifteen months. If that doesn't sound like a big deal to you than you have never served in an overseas assignment in the military.
From the moment a soldier or Marine sets one boot down in-country, they start counting down the days until they arrive at what used to be called, the "big wake-up" to go home. Having only a few weeks before leaving was known as being "short" and it was the best feeling there was. To have your time in-country extended by three months is about as demoralizing as getting a "Dear John/Joan" letter (or maybe it's a "Dear John/Joan" e-mail now). Anyway it sucks big time and it's a lousy thing to do to the kids that volunteered for this disaster. Shame on Don Rumsfeld and George Bush for trying to fight this war on the cheap.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's estate has been narrowed down to one blond a-hole. It appears that Anna Nicole had more boobs in her life than the two double D's she was buried with. Call me old fashioned but should it really take the combined scientific resources of two continents to discover the identity of this child's father? Why not just advise all parties that there is absolutely no money involved then wait to see who doesn't head for the airport? He's the dad.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Ted Haggard is still straight after more than two months. Praise God and pass the Appletinis. Witnesses say that, during a prayer meeting in Madill, Oklahoma, Rev. Haggard jumped to his feet and ceremoniously burned his Judy Garland cd's and reduced his pink golf shirts to ashes. Unfortunately, repeated prayers have failed to miraculously heal the earring hole in his right ear. We're pulling for you Rev.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Because of the equal time rule in political campaigns, the producers of Law & Order might be required to shelve any episode featuring possible presidential candidate Fred Thompson as NY District Attorney Arthur Branch.
In a related story, the presidential candidacy of Rep. Dennis Kucinich is causing the Cartoon Network to consider suspending future episodes of Sponge Bob Squarepants.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
For you Fordham fans out there, attend the tale of Daniel Gross, third year law student at FU School of Law and a latter day Norma Rae. Gross is a former barista, that's a guy who earns beans for cooking up cups of coffee at Starbucks that cost more than the GNP of Brazil. (I thought that a barista was a South American lawyer.)
Anyway Daniel is trying to organize the employees of Starbucks to join the Starbucks Workers Union, an affiliate of the IWW. (Who knew they were still around?). This idea is about as popular with Starbucks as ten cent latte. In a Stepford-like response to inquiries, Starbucks claims to "respect" the right of "partners" (Starbucks-speak for employees) to organize. Of course they do. They also respect the rights of employees to get their union-joining asses over to Carabou and apply for a job there.
Companies like Starbucks can't exist without an army of part time, semi-skilled workers who get few benefits and have no rights. Unlike Circuit City, a company that unconscionably fired many of it's higher paid employees because they were highly paid (compared to a homeless person), Starbucks can't claim that competition is forcing them to cut costs. They make more on a cup of pretentious, cold coffee than a movie theater does on a large popcorn.
So man the barricades. Let's all line up behind Daniel Gross and his band of pseudo-socialists. Stand up America! You have nothing to lose but your decaf, double shot dulce de leche latte. No foam please.
Item
George Christian, executive director of the Library Connection, has denied the FBI access to library records in the Hartford, Conn. area. Well, hats off to George. Who would have guessed that one librarian in New England would have more balls that the entire 535 members of Congress (Nancy Pelosi notwithstanding).
The Patriot Act is the worst single piece of legislation since the Alien and Sedition Laws enacted under John Adams. The Bush administration used the attack on 9/11 to enact a draconian set of abridgments to American freedom and repeal is long overdue.
Mr. Christian was quoted as stating that freedom of speech is still alive and well in Connecticut. There is, however, still no talking in the library. Shhhhhhhhhhh!
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The Department of Defense has extended the tour of duty of soldiers serving in Iraq from twelve to fifteen months. If that doesn't sound like a big deal to you than you have never served in an overseas assignment in the military.
From the moment a soldier or Marine sets one boot down in-country, they start counting down the days until they arrive at what used to be called, the "big wake-up" to go home. Having only a few weeks before leaving was known as being "short" and it was the best feeling there was. To have your time in-country extended by three months is about as demoralizing as getting a "Dear John/Joan" letter (or maybe it's a "Dear John/Joan" e-mail now). Anyway it sucks big time and it's a lousy thing to do to the kids that volunteered for this disaster. Shame on Don Rumsfeld and George Bush for trying to fight this war on the cheap.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's estate has been narrowed down to one blond a-hole. It appears that Anna Nicole had more boobs in her life than the two double D's she was buried with. Call me old fashioned but should it really take the combined scientific resources of two continents to discover the identity of this child's father? Why not just advise all parties that there is absolutely no money involved then wait to see who doesn't head for the airport? He's the dad.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Ted Haggard is still straight after more than two months. Praise God and pass the Appletinis. Witnesses say that, during a prayer meeting in Madill, Oklahoma, Rev. Haggard jumped to his feet and ceremoniously burned his Judy Garland cd's and reduced his pink golf shirts to ashes. Unfortunately, repeated prayers have failed to miraculously heal the earring hole in his right ear. We're pulling for you Rev.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Because of the equal time rule in political campaigns, the producers of Law & Order might be required to shelve any episode featuring possible presidential candidate Fred Thompson as NY District Attorney Arthur Branch.
In a related story, the presidential candidacy of Rep. Dennis Kucinich is causing the Cartoon Network to consider suspending future episodes of Sponge Bob Squarepants.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
For you Fordham fans out there, attend the tale of Daniel Gross, third year law student at FU School of Law and a latter day Norma Rae. Gross is a former barista, that's a guy who earns beans for cooking up cups of coffee at Starbucks that cost more than the GNP of Brazil. (I thought that a barista was a South American lawyer.)
Anyway Daniel is trying to organize the employees of Starbucks to join the Starbucks Workers Union, an affiliate of the IWW. (Who knew they were still around?). This idea is about as popular with Starbucks as ten cent latte. In a Stepford-like response to inquiries, Starbucks claims to "respect" the right of "partners" (Starbucks-speak for employees) to organize. Of course they do. They also respect the rights of employees to get their union-joining asses over to Carabou and apply for a job there.
Companies like Starbucks can't exist without an army of part time, semi-skilled workers who get few benefits and have no rights. Unlike Circuit City, a company that unconscionably fired many of it's higher paid employees because they were highly paid (compared to a homeless person), Starbucks can't claim that competition is forcing them to cut costs. They make more on a cup of pretentious, cold coffee than a movie theater does on a large popcorn.
So man the barricades. Let's all line up behind Daniel Gross and his band of pseudo-socialists. Stand up America! You have nothing to lose but your decaf, double shot dulce de leche latte. No foam please.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
...or are we done with roasting Don Imus?
Enough already!
The Washington Post actually carried three separate stories on Wednesday about America's latest "offensive racial slur". The Pope wouldn't get this much ink if he announced that he planned to marry Madeline Albright.
Imus has been doing offensive humor for his entire radio career. It's the only thing moderately amusing about the show. Listening to Imus and his sidekicks poke fun at Al Sharpton, Rush Limbaugh and Woody Allen (not to mention the current and past New York Archbishops) was blessed relief from the ramblings of Imus' brother Fred and endless, insufferable dissertations on the intelligence of Imus' wife and son.
The level of outrage in the black community is, as it has been before, out of all proportion to the event. Al Sharpton was on the airwaves faster than you can say Tawana Brawley. Jesse Jackson, a little slower than he used to be, was picketing in front of CBS in plenty of time to make the six o'clock news. The coach of the rightfully offended Rutgers Women's Basketball team was actually crying during her televised statement. (There's no crying in basketball!)
This offense just does not rise to the level of Abner Louima or Amadou Diallo. Although I do not have the right to decide what will offend someone else, neither should Jesse and Al decide what offends ten women basketball players from New Jersey.
Now before you all insist that I have my liberal credentials re-validated, hear me out. Intent matters. How you say something, who says it and the circumstance under which you say it matters. If someone yells a racial or ethnic epithet at you in traffic, do you cry? Of course not. You flip them the bird and continue driving. If Chris Rock had said this on the Imus show, there would be no story and no apology.
However when Mel Gibson opines that Jews are the cause of all wars and directs that statement to a Jewish cop, the cop should be offended and by extension, so should the Jewish Community.
Imus thinks that if you are outrageous enough over a long period of time and if you attack all racial and ethnic groups equally no one will take offense. "We kid because we love". I'm guessing that a lot of people sitting in the front row of Don Rickles' concert were plenty offended but, hey, we're only kidding.
Whether Don Imus is a racist is entirely beside the point. Whether I'm an alcoholic or not, if I drink too much and throw up in your car, I can expect consequences. There are lines in comedy and Imus crossed one. He is now paying the price. Let's move on. By the way, can you imagine the size of the bouquet of roses that Albert Gonzales sent to Imus for taking him off the front page for a week?
The Washington Post actually carried three separate stories on Wednesday about America's latest "offensive racial slur". The Pope wouldn't get this much ink if he announced that he planned to marry Madeline Albright.
Imus has been doing offensive humor for his entire radio career. It's the only thing moderately amusing about the show. Listening to Imus and his sidekicks poke fun at Al Sharpton, Rush Limbaugh and Woody Allen (not to mention the current and past New York Archbishops) was blessed relief from the ramblings of Imus' brother Fred and endless, insufferable dissertations on the intelligence of Imus' wife and son.
The level of outrage in the black community is, as it has been before, out of all proportion to the event. Al Sharpton was on the airwaves faster than you can say Tawana Brawley. Jesse Jackson, a little slower than he used to be, was picketing in front of CBS in plenty of time to make the six o'clock news. The coach of the rightfully offended Rutgers Women's Basketball team was actually crying during her televised statement. (There's no crying in basketball!)
This offense just does not rise to the level of Abner Louima or Amadou Diallo. Although I do not have the right to decide what will offend someone else, neither should Jesse and Al decide what offends ten women basketball players from New Jersey.
Now before you all insist that I have my liberal credentials re-validated, hear me out. Intent matters. How you say something, who says it and the circumstance under which you say it matters. If someone yells a racial or ethnic epithet at you in traffic, do you cry? Of course not. You flip them the bird and continue driving. If Chris Rock had said this on the Imus show, there would be no story and no apology.
However when Mel Gibson opines that Jews are the cause of all wars and directs that statement to a Jewish cop, the cop should be offended and by extension, so should the Jewish Community.
Imus thinks that if you are outrageous enough over a long period of time and if you attack all racial and ethnic groups equally no one will take offense. "We kid because we love". I'm guessing that a lot of people sitting in the front row of Don Rickles' concert were plenty offended but, hey, we're only kidding.
Whether Don Imus is a racist is entirely beside the point. Whether I'm an alcoholic or not, if I drink too much and throw up in your car, I can expect consequences. There are lines in comedy and Imus crossed one. He is now paying the price. Let's move on. By the way, can you imagine the size of the bouquet of roses that Albert Gonzales sent to Imus for taking him off the front page for a week?
Saturday, March 24, 2007
...or were we all sleeping when these stories hit the fan?
More news blah blah..
Item
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, aka The Mormons, are in a snit this week over the distribution of a tee-shirt that depicts the angel Moroni, mascot of the church, swilling a trumpet full of java. The shirts are distributed by a Utah coffee shop called "Just Add Coffee". The Mormons, traditionally cranky when their symbols are the subject of whimsy, claim that the angel is trademark-protected. Wow! Does the Catholic Church have a registration mark on the crucifix?
At any rate, the spoil-sport attitude of the CJCLDS will certainly have a chilling effect on the follow-up tee-shirts which were expected to feature illustrations of Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad sitting under a fig tree in Jerusalem sharing good talk and a frappacino.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Calvin Broadus, better known to you fans as Snoop Dogg, has been denied a visa to enter Britain for a series of concerts with P Ditty. The American rap star, who has spent more time in courts than the Bible, was arrested in a brawl at Heathrow Airport last year when several of his posse were denied admittance to the airport's first-class lounge. Go figure!
The Brits, who apparently feel that while they are stuck with Keith Richards and Paul McCartney, don't see the need to import substance abusers. Mr. Dogg is naturally shocked to learn that he is persona-non-grata in a country that freely permits George W. Bush to roam the countryside. Snoop is said to be contacting Willie Nelson for legal assistance.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Becoming Susan
Attend the tale of Steve Stanton, soon to be reborn as Susan Stanton. Steve had been employed as the well-regarded city manager of Largo, Florida. Sadly, the narrow-minded town fathers have taken issue with one of their favorite sons becoming one of their daughters. In a move that will certainly rock the transgender community, the city commissioners of Largo have sacked Mr./Ms. Stanton.
It is unclear at this time whether Steve/Susan will sue the City of Largo to retain his/her position. If he hasn't exhibited the necessary testicular fortitude for a fight to this point, it appears unlikely that the impending surgery will enhance that situation.
The planned "gender reassignment" (I love that term) was announced at a news conference last month. When the city manager of a town of 76,000 folks in central Florida calls a news conference, the last thing you expect to hear is that the guy is planning to have several of his body parts (and some pretty important ones) pitched into a dumpster behind a hospital in Geneva. (Do you even have to go to Switzerland any more?) Sounds like a lot of trouble to go
through just so you can hit from the red tees.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Russian police forces arrested hundreds of protesters in the town of Nizhny Novgorod in central Russia. The Kremlin never misses an opportunity to illustrate how democracy is thriving in the once repressive land of the czars. It seems that the demonstrators were protesting, among other things, the lack of free speech and free expression. The Russian police, regardless of who is in power, have always stood ready to beat the crap out of anyone who says that he is not a happy Russian citizen.
The Kremlin is quick to point out that they no longer condemn dissenters to the gulags. Instead, they are locked in a room and forced to watch Dancing with the Stars. Amnesty International has expressed shock at such inhumane treatment.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
It helps if you hear a news story from the beginning. Halfway into a broadcast of today's news, I heard discussion of a delusional, charismatic leader who employed deception and mind control to subjugate his followers. This puppet master relied on isolation and brain washing to keep cult members away from more moderating influences. Ultimately, the followers were led to their destruction.
Naturally I assumed that the story was about the Bush White House. Imagine my shock when I learned that the broadcast concerned the tenth anniversary of the Heaven's Gate mass suicide in Rancho Mirage, Ca. Honest mistake. If you should happen to see any photos of Marshall Applewhite, the leader of the Heaven's Gate folks, pay close attention to his ears. Look like anyone you know? Perhaps another delusional leader?
Item
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, aka The Mormons, are in a snit this week over the distribution of a tee-shirt that depicts the angel Moroni, mascot of the church, swilling a trumpet full of java. The shirts are distributed by a Utah coffee shop called "Just Add Coffee". The Mormons, traditionally cranky when their symbols are the subject of whimsy, claim that the angel is trademark-protected. Wow! Does the Catholic Church have a registration mark on the crucifix?
At any rate, the spoil-sport attitude of the CJCLDS will certainly have a chilling effect on the follow-up tee-shirts which were expected to feature illustrations of Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad sitting under a fig tree in Jerusalem sharing good talk and a frappacino.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Calvin Broadus, better known to you fans as Snoop Dogg, has been denied a visa to enter Britain for a series of concerts with P Ditty. The American rap star, who has spent more time in courts than the Bible, was arrested in a brawl at Heathrow Airport last year when several of his posse were denied admittance to the airport's first-class lounge. Go figure!
The Brits, who apparently feel that while they are stuck with Keith Richards and Paul McCartney, don't see the need to import substance abusers. Mr. Dogg is naturally shocked to learn that he is persona-non-grata in a country that freely permits George W. Bush to roam the countryside. Snoop is said to be contacting Willie Nelson for legal assistance.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Becoming Susan
Attend the tale of Steve Stanton, soon to be reborn as Susan Stanton. Steve had been employed as the well-regarded city manager of Largo, Florida. Sadly, the narrow-minded town fathers have taken issue with one of their favorite sons becoming one of their daughters. In a move that will certainly rock the transgender community, the city commissioners of Largo have sacked Mr./Ms. Stanton.
It is unclear at this time whether Steve/Susan will sue the City of Largo to retain his/her position. If he hasn't exhibited the necessary testicular fortitude for a fight to this point, it appears unlikely that the impending surgery will enhance that situation.
The planned "gender reassignment" (I love that term) was announced at a news conference last month. When the city manager of a town of 76,000 folks in central Florida calls a news conference, the last thing you expect to hear is that the guy is planning to have several of his body parts (and some pretty important ones) pitched into a dumpster behind a hospital in Geneva. (Do you even have to go to Switzerland any more?) Sounds like a lot of trouble to go
through just so you can hit from the red tees.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Russian police forces arrested hundreds of protesters in the town of Nizhny Novgorod in central Russia. The Kremlin never misses an opportunity to illustrate how democracy is thriving in the once repressive land of the czars. It seems that the demonstrators were protesting, among other things, the lack of free speech and free expression. The Russian police, regardless of who is in power, have always stood ready to beat the crap out of anyone who says that he is not a happy Russian citizen.
The Kremlin is quick to point out that they no longer condemn dissenters to the gulags. Instead, they are locked in a room and forced to watch Dancing with the Stars. Amnesty International has expressed shock at such inhumane treatment.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
It helps if you hear a news story from the beginning. Halfway into a broadcast of today's news, I heard discussion of a delusional, charismatic leader who employed deception and mind control to subjugate his followers. This puppet master relied on isolation and brain washing to keep cult members away from more moderating influences. Ultimately, the followers were led to their destruction.
Naturally I assumed that the story was about the Bush White House. Imagine my shock when I learned that the broadcast concerned the tenth anniversary of the Heaven's Gate mass suicide in Rancho Mirage, Ca. Honest mistake. If you should happen to see any photos of Marshall Applewhite, the leader of the Heaven's Gate folks, pay close attention to his ears. Look like anyone you know? Perhaps another delusional leader?
Saturday, March 17, 2007
...or should Pope Benedict XVI take a vow of silence?
Isitjustme has stayed away from discussing the Roman Catholic Church at least in part because some of my best friends, etc. However a notice in the paper this week reminded me that it isn't just the right wing Protestant loonies that require watching.
For no particular reason, the Vatican issued a statement this week reinforcing the Church's position on gay marriage. The Holy See indicated that the subject was "non-negotiable" and that Catholic, elected officials should act accordingly. Holy white smoke, Batman. That's a helluva thing!
Way back in 1928 the Democratic party nominated the affable Governor of New York, Al Smith, to run for President. Al was the first Roman Catholic to be so honored. He was thumped by Herbert Hoover partly because much of Southern America believed that if we elected a Catholic, the United States would be run by edicts from Rome. Jack Kennedy would have to overcome the same prejudices 32 years later. Most Catholics at the time found the idea absurd. Why would the Pope be interested in meddling in the affairs of Washington? Well, here we are in 2007 and it turns out that the rednecks of 1928 were right to be concerned.
The delightful irony of this is that American Catholics rarely listen to the doctrines of Rome on any issue. In the U.S. 80% of Catholics practice birth control. (It's probably closer to 99% but some just won't fess up.) About half of the faithful in the U.S. are in favor of leaving Roe v. Wade where it is. The Pope has about as much clout in America as the Dalai Lama or the Archbishop of Canterbury. Perhaps the Vatican will have better luck with the members of Congress.
To be fair, the Catholic Church and many other denominations, view abortion as murder. On that basis the Pope is right to speak out against Catholics in government who support what the Church sees as state sponsored homicide. This really is non-negotiable for Catholics. However, the last time I looked, marriage was a civil matter. While the Church affords marriage sacramental status, priests are licenced by the state to preform what essentially is a secular function. By excoriating legislators to bend to the will of Rome on gay marriage, the Pope is interfering in a non-religious, civil issue. This would be similar to encouraging the owners of Yankee Stadium to prohibit the sale of hot dogs on Friday nights during Lent.
Can you imagine if any other religious leaders attempted to superimpose their doctrines on America? Rabbis could lobby for road closings to discourage travel on Fridays after sundown. Imams could demand the prohibition of liquor sales (again) to conform to Islamic law. The American Congress has managed quite nicely for the last 220 odd years without the infallible interference of the Holy Father. Here's the deal. If the Pope doesn't attempt to tell us how to run America, we won't tell him how to remove Father Chester the Molester from the priesthood.
If Benedict XVI wants to create a better America by having our laws modeled after Church teachings, how about we invoke the Catholic Church's prohibition against suicide and ban smoking? American Catholics might not have clean souls but at least they would go to hell with clean lungs.
For no particular reason, the Vatican issued a statement this week reinforcing the Church's position on gay marriage. The Holy See indicated that the subject was "non-negotiable" and that Catholic, elected officials should act accordingly. Holy white smoke, Batman. That's a helluva thing!
Way back in 1928 the Democratic party nominated the affable Governor of New York, Al Smith, to run for President. Al was the first Roman Catholic to be so honored. He was thumped by Herbert Hoover partly because much of Southern America believed that if we elected a Catholic, the United States would be run by edicts from Rome. Jack Kennedy would have to overcome the same prejudices 32 years later. Most Catholics at the time found the idea absurd. Why would the Pope be interested in meddling in the affairs of Washington? Well, here we are in 2007 and it turns out that the rednecks of 1928 were right to be concerned.
The delightful irony of this is that American Catholics rarely listen to the doctrines of Rome on any issue. In the U.S. 80% of Catholics practice birth control. (It's probably closer to 99% but some just won't fess up.) About half of the faithful in the U.S. are in favor of leaving Roe v. Wade where it is. The Pope has about as much clout in America as the Dalai Lama or the Archbishop of Canterbury. Perhaps the Vatican will have better luck with the members of Congress.
To be fair, the Catholic Church and many other denominations, view abortion as murder. On that basis the Pope is right to speak out against Catholics in government who support what the Church sees as state sponsored homicide. This really is non-negotiable for Catholics. However, the last time I looked, marriage was a civil matter. While the Church affords marriage sacramental status, priests are licenced by the state to preform what essentially is a secular function. By excoriating legislators to bend to the will of Rome on gay marriage, the Pope is interfering in a non-religious, civil issue. This would be similar to encouraging the owners of Yankee Stadium to prohibit the sale of hot dogs on Friday nights during Lent.
Can you imagine if any other religious leaders attempted to superimpose their doctrines on America? Rabbis could lobby for road closings to discourage travel on Fridays after sundown. Imams could demand the prohibition of liquor sales (again) to conform to Islamic law. The American Congress has managed quite nicely for the last 220 odd years without the infallible interference of the Holy Father. Here's the deal. If the Pope doesn't attempt to tell us how to run America, we won't tell him how to remove Father Chester the Molester from the priesthood.
If Benedict XVI wants to create a better America by having our laws modeled after Church teachings, how about we invoke the Catholic Church's prohibition against suicide and ban smoking? American Catholics might not have clean souls but at least they would go to hell with clean lungs.
Friday, March 16, 2007
...or is it time for the Bush team to stop speaking altogether?
Explaining the firing of eight US Attorneys and the attempted cashiering of all 93 of them in 2005, Press Secretary Tony Snow enlightened his audience last Friday as follows:
" This is as far as we can go: we know that [Bush advisor Karl Rove] recollects having raised it and his recollection is that he dismissed it as not a good idea", Snow told reporters. "That's what we know. We don't know motivations...I don't think it's safe to go any further than that."
Well I guess that clears that up! And we let these people lead us into a war?
As expected, Paul Gigot, Editorial Page Editor for The Wall Street Journal, sees this as much ado about nothing. That would be the same Paul Gigot who popped a hemorrhoid when the Clintons fired a few people in the White House Travel Office. What the Rove-Cheney people were contemplating in 2005 was the housecleaning of all 93 US Attorneys. Apparently they were investigating too many of "us" and not enough of "them". There was no thought of investigating their abilities or accomplishments. They serve at the pleasure of the President so off with their heads. Talk about your Nixonian enemies list!
No one is suggesting that George Bush knew anything about this. The President has "plausible deniability". Actually, the President has plausible deniability regarding just about every decision made in the White House over the last six years. It's truly sad that no one in America believes that George W. had any idea what Rove & Co. were contemplating. We assume he's clueless. Do you think that John McCain, had he been elected, would hide behind double-talking aides and cabinet ministers? Congratulations Kansas, you're getting the leadership you elected.
America put these people in office for all the wrong reasons and we are now paying a terrible price. We have a disaster in Iraq. The Katrina rubble remains where the storm left it. Wounded soldiers are returning to be treated with third-world medical care. Why would anyone care if a Presidential candidate memorized, read or even owned a Bible? Who gives a rat's ass where a candidate stands on gay marriage?
We will be suffering through another 20 months of this administration and hopefully, America will use the time to think about the qualities the next President will need. That person will require the positive outlook of Ronald Reagan, the honesty of Harry Truman, the experience of GHW Bush, the intelligence of Jimmy Carter and, the charisma of Bill Clinton (mostly so you can get elected). Whoever it is, let's just make sure that we don't permit two dozen farmers in Iowa and a flock of right wing religious zealots in South Carolina to make the choice. That's the road map that got us where we are today.
" This is as far as we can go: we know that [Bush advisor Karl Rove] recollects having raised it and his recollection is that he dismissed it as not a good idea", Snow told reporters. "That's what we know. We don't know motivations...I don't think it's safe to go any further than that."
Well I guess that clears that up! And we let these people lead us into a war?
As expected, Paul Gigot, Editorial Page Editor for The Wall Street Journal, sees this as much ado about nothing. That would be the same Paul Gigot who popped a hemorrhoid when the Clintons fired a few people in the White House Travel Office. What the Rove-Cheney people were contemplating in 2005 was the housecleaning of all 93 US Attorneys. Apparently they were investigating too many of "us" and not enough of "them". There was no thought of investigating their abilities or accomplishments. They serve at the pleasure of the President so off with their heads. Talk about your Nixonian enemies list!
No one is suggesting that George Bush knew anything about this. The President has "plausible deniability". Actually, the President has plausible deniability regarding just about every decision made in the White House over the last six years. It's truly sad that no one in America believes that George W. had any idea what Rove & Co. were contemplating. We assume he's clueless. Do you think that John McCain, had he been elected, would hide behind double-talking aides and cabinet ministers? Congratulations Kansas, you're getting the leadership you elected.
America put these people in office for all the wrong reasons and we are now paying a terrible price. We have a disaster in Iraq. The Katrina rubble remains where the storm left it. Wounded soldiers are returning to be treated with third-world medical care. Why would anyone care if a Presidential candidate memorized, read or even owned a Bible? Who gives a rat's ass where a candidate stands on gay marriage?
We will be suffering through another 20 months of this administration and hopefully, America will use the time to think about the qualities the next President will need. That person will require the positive outlook of Ronald Reagan, the honesty of Harry Truman, the experience of GHW Bush, the intelligence of Jimmy Carter and, the charisma of Bill Clinton (mostly so you can get elected). Whoever it is, let's just make sure that we don't permit two dozen farmers in Iowa and a flock of right wing religious zealots in South Carolina to make the choice. That's the road map that got us where we are today.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
...or should we not pick Alberto Gonzales to reach the final four?
More news you won't use:
Item
Attorney General Alberto "I never read a Constitutional Amendment I couldn't violate" Gonzales is standing squarely in the cross hairs of the recent controversy surrounding the firing of eight US Attorneys in 2006. The original game plan back in 2005 from the "take no prisioners" crowd at the White House, was to fire all 93 US Attorneys. The author of this scorched earth approach to law enforcement was none other than Harriet Meirs, then White House Counsel. You may remember Ms. Meirs as the legal giant that Mr. Bush nominated to sit on the highest court in the land. (Actually, George's first choice was Chatsworth "Skip" Osbourne, the President's father's caddy at Kennebunkport Country Club. Sadly Skippy was busy finishing his sophomore year of high school.)
The word out of the AG's office is that the firings were just part of a housecleaning and based on "poor performance". The lawyers in question were apparently particularly poor at listening to Republican Senators and Congressmen who called to offer advise regarding whom to prosecute and whom to cut some slack.
Anyway, fear not, America. Considering Mr. Gonzales' stellar record on civil rights and civil liberties he should have no trouble landing a job at either the Karl Rove Ministry of Fear or as the Attorney General for the Peoples Republic of China.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Ted Haggard is still straight after six weeks. Praise the lord and pass the methamphetamine.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Speaking of Constitutional Amendments, the Supreme Court has chosen to hear the case of Morse v. Frederik. In case you haven't been following this most recent assault on the First Amendment, the facts are as follows:
Joseph Frederik, low level delinquent at the Juneau-Douglas High School in Juneau, Alaska was determined to make a statement (for what, he has no idea). Frederik had the idea of holding up a sign that said "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" as the Olympic torch passed his high school in 2002. The school principal, Deborah Morse, horrified that the Juneau school system would be seen on TV in such a disrespectful light, confiscated young Joe's sign. Mr. Frederik sued Ms. Morse for violating his right to free speech. The school board supported Ms. Morse and the game was on.
OK, I know that Joseph Frederik is an obnoxious snot and Alaska might be the best place for him. Still, this case is what we call in America "settled law". In Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School District, the Court ruled 7-2 that "It can hardly be argued that either students or teachers shed their constitutional rights of freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse door." (See how much you can learn here at isitjustme).
However, Tinker was written in 1969 when the Court included William O. Douglas and Thurgood Marshall. One can only imagine what will happen when Clarence Thomas and Anton Scalia (the frik-n- frak of jurisprudence) get involved.
Naturally, the Bush Justice Department and all the school boards in America are solidly in favor of silencing any form of free speech. If they had their way, students would all wear ties and skirts (preferably not together) and sit all day with their hands folded. Teachers would rule absolutely and corporal punishment would be the order of the day. The anti-free speech forces have solicited the aid of none other than Ken Starr, the Johnnie Cochrane of the militant right.
Ken didn't have much luck chasing the Clintons but he hopes to do better this time. As always, the ACLU is in the opposing corner. Just the sight of an ACLU lawyer makes Justice Scalia run to the nearest Catholic Church and request an exorcism.
This one promises to be a real nail-bitter boys and girls, because no one knows how the newest Court members, Roberts and Alito, will swing. Should the forces of evil prevail and students are forbidden to express themselves, the fans at Duke basketball games, famous for their ribald banter, will be in jail faster than you can say, "original intent".
Item
Attorney General Alberto "I never read a Constitutional Amendment I couldn't violate" Gonzales is standing squarely in the cross hairs of the recent controversy surrounding the firing of eight US Attorneys in 2006. The original game plan back in 2005 from the "take no prisioners" crowd at the White House, was to fire all 93 US Attorneys. The author of this scorched earth approach to law enforcement was none other than Harriet Meirs, then White House Counsel. You may remember Ms. Meirs as the legal giant that Mr. Bush nominated to sit on the highest court in the land. (Actually, George's first choice was Chatsworth "Skip" Osbourne, the President's father's caddy at Kennebunkport Country Club. Sadly Skippy was busy finishing his sophomore year of high school.)
The word out of the AG's office is that the firings were just part of a housecleaning and based on "poor performance". The lawyers in question were apparently particularly poor at listening to Republican Senators and Congressmen who called to offer advise regarding whom to prosecute and whom to cut some slack.
Anyway, fear not, America. Considering Mr. Gonzales' stellar record on civil rights and civil liberties he should have no trouble landing a job at either the Karl Rove Ministry of Fear or as the Attorney General for the Peoples Republic of China.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Ted Haggard is still straight after six weeks. Praise the lord and pass the methamphetamine.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Speaking of Constitutional Amendments, the Supreme Court has chosen to hear the case of Morse v. Frederik. In case you haven't been following this most recent assault on the First Amendment, the facts are as follows:
Joseph Frederik, low level delinquent at the Juneau-Douglas High School in Juneau, Alaska was determined to make a statement (for what, he has no idea). Frederik had the idea of holding up a sign that said "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" as the Olympic torch passed his high school in 2002. The school principal, Deborah Morse, horrified that the Juneau school system would be seen on TV in such a disrespectful light, confiscated young Joe's sign. Mr. Frederik sued Ms. Morse for violating his right to free speech. The school board supported Ms. Morse and the game was on.
OK, I know that Joseph Frederik is an obnoxious snot and Alaska might be the best place for him. Still, this case is what we call in America "settled law". In Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School District, the Court ruled 7-2 that "It can hardly be argued that either students or teachers shed their constitutional rights of freedom of speech or expression at the schoolhouse door." (See how much you can learn here at isitjustme).
However, Tinker was written in 1969 when the Court included William O. Douglas and Thurgood Marshall. One can only imagine what will happen when Clarence Thomas and Anton Scalia (the frik-n- frak of jurisprudence) get involved.
Naturally, the Bush Justice Department and all the school boards in America are solidly in favor of silencing any form of free speech. If they had their way, students would all wear ties and skirts (preferably not together) and sit all day with their hands folded. Teachers would rule absolutely and corporal punishment would be the order of the day. The anti-free speech forces have solicited the aid of none other than Ken Starr, the Johnnie Cochrane of the militant right.
Ken didn't have much luck chasing the Clintons but he hopes to do better this time. As always, the ACLU is in the opposing corner. Just the sight of an ACLU lawyer makes Justice Scalia run to the nearest Catholic Church and request an exorcism.
This one promises to be a real nail-bitter boys and girls, because no one knows how the newest Court members, Roberts and Alito, will swing. Should the forces of evil prevail and students are forbidden to express themselves, the fans at Duke basketball games, famous for their ribald banter, will be in jail faster than you can say, "original intent".
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
or are the Bushies continuing to run plays out of the Nixon playbook?
In the Godfather Part II, Willie Cicci is testifying before the Senate Committee on Racketeering. He's asked if the Corleone Family always had buffers between the senior officers and the "button" men. Willie says, "Oh yeah a buffer. The Family had a lot of buffers". Well so, it would appear, does Dick Cheney and one of them was found guilty yesterday of lying to a grand jury.
As Martha Stewart and Bill Clinton will gladly tell you, playing it cagey with the feds can be a dicey proposition. The underlying cause may or may not matter in the long run but if you play fast and loose with the truth, you could find yourself as a "ripped from the headlines" episode of Law and Order.
The American public has long ago lost interest in this trial. At the beginning, when it looked like Cheney or Rove might make it to the stocks, everyone paid attention. Lewis "Scooter" Libby however is a small fish. Aside from a few political geeks and policy wonks, no one had even heard of the guy. Patrick Fitzgerald, the federal prosecutor, abandoned all hope of any serious press coverage when the trial got scheduled during the new season of American Idol.
There are two things that everyone knows about this case:
1) Scooter Libby is taking the rap for his former boss, Dick Cheney.
2) OK. maybe one thing.
Once again Dick Cheney escapes the clutches of the Federal government. Back in the bad old days of Vietnam, Cheney was too busy with "other priorities" to serve his country in the military. Presumably one of those priorities was not getting shot in a rice paddy some 10,000 miles from dear old Wyoming. Now, once again, someone else will stand in the spot that Cheney should occupy. Once again the Vice President has been moved to a secure location. No one in America wants to think of their vice president as a coward but the evidence is overwhelming. When confronted with the fact that he owes his election to the gay-bashing Christians who would condemn his daughter Mary as a sinner, he attacks the interviewer. This guy is a piece of work!Bring back Spiro Agnew.
The facts in the Libby case are as follows: Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowicz and Rove wanted war with Iraq and they were ready to steamroll anyone who tried to confuse the issue with facts. When Joseph Wilson returned from his fact-finding trip to Africa to report that the Hussein/uranium story was crap, the Cheney team wanted him discredited and, most of all, punished. They intentionally leaked Wilson's wife's CIA position to Robert Novak (I guess Ann Coulter was busy at the American Bigot Awards). When asked if he was involved in the leak, Libby lied to the feds. That's the story. All of the rest of the "Who knew What? When? and Who said What to Whom" is all smoke and mirrors.
You have to love my friends at the Wall Street Journal's Editorial Page. They were headed for the lynching tree when Bill Clinton lied about getting a BJ from ML at the WH but they are offended beyond words that Mr. Libby should be convicted of the exact same offense. The difference is that, when Bill lied to a grand jury, he wasn't taking one for the team. (Why does that sound suggestive?).
Now that Cheney has wriggled off the hook, no one will care if, as a parting shot in 2008, George W. pardons Scooter Libby. He's no more responsible for the crime than Dick Cheney's shotgun was during the hunting accident last year. Like OJ, we can only shake our heads and hope that there is justice down the road. Maybe Cheney will take sick and be rushed to Walter Reed for treatment. He could be ignored, maltreated and forgotten just like the real soldier he never was. Now that would be justice.
As Martha Stewart and Bill Clinton will gladly tell you, playing it cagey with the feds can be a dicey proposition. The underlying cause may or may not matter in the long run but if you play fast and loose with the truth, you could find yourself as a "ripped from the headlines" episode of Law and Order.
The American public has long ago lost interest in this trial. At the beginning, when it looked like Cheney or Rove might make it to the stocks, everyone paid attention. Lewis "Scooter" Libby however is a small fish. Aside from a few political geeks and policy wonks, no one had even heard of the guy. Patrick Fitzgerald, the federal prosecutor, abandoned all hope of any serious press coverage when the trial got scheduled during the new season of American Idol.
There are two things that everyone knows about this case:
1) Scooter Libby is taking the rap for his former boss, Dick Cheney.
2) OK. maybe one thing.
Once again Dick Cheney escapes the clutches of the Federal government. Back in the bad old days of Vietnam, Cheney was too busy with "other priorities" to serve his country in the military. Presumably one of those priorities was not getting shot in a rice paddy some 10,000 miles from dear old Wyoming. Now, once again, someone else will stand in the spot that Cheney should occupy. Once again the Vice President has been moved to a secure location. No one in America wants to think of their vice president as a coward but the evidence is overwhelming. When confronted with the fact that he owes his election to the gay-bashing Christians who would condemn his daughter Mary as a sinner, he attacks the interviewer. This guy is a piece of work!Bring back Spiro Agnew.
The facts in the Libby case are as follows: Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowicz and Rove wanted war with Iraq and they were ready to steamroll anyone who tried to confuse the issue with facts. When Joseph Wilson returned from his fact-finding trip to Africa to report that the Hussein/uranium story was crap, the Cheney team wanted him discredited and, most of all, punished. They intentionally leaked Wilson's wife's CIA position to Robert Novak (I guess Ann Coulter was busy at the American Bigot Awards). When asked if he was involved in the leak, Libby lied to the feds. That's the story. All of the rest of the "Who knew What? When? and Who said What to Whom" is all smoke and mirrors.
You have to love my friends at the Wall Street Journal's Editorial Page. They were headed for the lynching tree when Bill Clinton lied about getting a BJ from ML at the WH but they are offended beyond words that Mr. Libby should be convicted of the exact same offense. The difference is that, when Bill lied to a grand jury, he wasn't taking one for the team. (Why does that sound suggestive?).
Now that Cheney has wriggled off the hook, no one will care if, as a parting shot in 2008, George W. pardons Scooter Libby. He's no more responsible for the crime than Dick Cheney's shotgun was during the hunting accident last year. Like OJ, we can only shake our heads and hope that there is justice down the road. Maybe Cheney will take sick and be rushed to Walter Reed for treatment. He could be ignored, maltreated and forgotten just like the real soldier he never was. Now that would be justice.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
...or was the axis of evil there all along?
Let me see if I have this right.
First, the President fires Donald Rumsfeld as Secretary of State causing the Pentagon to throw the biggest kegger in history. Then Karl Rove is mysteriously removed to an undisclosed location, hopefully a nudist colony in Greenland, and is almost never heard from again. Now, Vice President Dick Cheney (secret service code name, "Dr. Evil") has taken a week vacation to the forward edge of the battle area.
And, now that the cloud of insidous gloom has been lifted, what has happened? The President uses the opportunity to send Condellezza Rice to the Middle East to organize a tea dance with Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia and Iraq; a move that was proposed and apparently rejected by the Administration when the Iraq Study Group Report was released. Also, President Bush visits New Orleans to "listen" to the citizens of that city (those who have managed to return or who never left) and learn of their frustration. Now that the water has cleared from their lungs they are presumably easier to understand. (Granted George has only talked to, and been photographed with, people who have actually been helped; but it's a start.)
Wow! Call William Peter Blatty! There has been another exorcism near Georgetown. George W. has had his demons cast out. He has seen the light. He has been cleansed. Praise Jesus.
We hardly know what to expect next. Perhaps the President will offer Mary Cheney the use of the White House for her wedding. He might invite outed, former NBA player John Amaechi to meet the twins. Or maybe he'll block some TV time and explain to the American people that he really never read any of the intelligence leading up to 9/11 because it was boring and besides, he had a tee time.
He may even admit that the closest he ever came to reading the Bible was watching The Ten Commandments three times. He might 'fess up that he never really liked or trusted the Christian Right. In fact, Jerry Falwell kind of creeps him out. Ultimately, he could confess to hating NASCAR.
Editors note: Reverend Ted Haggard is still straight after four weeks. Praise the Lord.
We all suspected that the President was just a tool of the right wing. Clearly, wanted-poster faces like Rumsfeld and Rove were un-electable so the Republican party needed an empty suit/empty head with a recognizable name to put on the campaign posters. (Posters of Rumsfeld or Cheney were considered too scary for children.)
Once George was elected the real power elite took over. They let Bush take the bows (and the heat) while they ran the country. Rumsfeld, Cheney & Rove had no interest in domestic policy which explains why, in six years of a Republican President and a Republican Congress, no significant domestic legislation has seen the light of day.They also had no use for the kind of real experience that Colin Powell brought to the State Department. No token black man was ever treated so shamefully. What RCR wanted was war with Iraq.
I think it was a wager among them. Rove bet that he could elect a can of Green Giant lima beans if given a free hand. Rumsfeld bet that he could march an undermanned, under-equipped military into war without anyone asking why or who would pay. Cheney bet that he could steal billions using Halliburton as cover. Compared to RCR; Hussein, Ahmadinejadand & 'lil Kim are tyros.
Well, that's all mission accomplished now. The three stooges of American foreign policy have left the building and guess what? George W. Bush is starting to run America. With two years left on his term (actually 22 months & 21 days but who's counting?) the President is beginning to act like the "compassionate conservative" that middle America elected in Nov, 2000. Wouldn't it be refreshing to have this man admit to his mistakes and pledge to do better? It would take the Mayo Clinic of spin doctors to fix his legacy thus far but at least he could attempt to do no more harm.
Give it a try, George. Keep Cheney on the road (there must be a funeral somewhere he can attend). Keep the bigots in Congress busy chasing Mexicans on the border. Keep Rove on ice and try to do some good with the time you have left. Call Jimmy Carter and see if he has an extra hammer.
First, the President fires Donald Rumsfeld as Secretary of State causing the Pentagon to throw the biggest kegger in history. Then Karl Rove is mysteriously removed to an undisclosed location, hopefully a nudist colony in Greenland, and is almost never heard from again. Now, Vice President Dick Cheney (secret service code name, "Dr. Evil") has taken a week vacation to the forward edge of the battle area.
And, now that the cloud of insidous gloom has been lifted, what has happened? The President uses the opportunity to send Condellezza Rice to the Middle East to organize a tea dance with Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia and Iraq; a move that was proposed and apparently rejected by the Administration when the Iraq Study Group Report was released. Also, President Bush visits New Orleans to "listen" to the citizens of that city (those who have managed to return or who never left) and learn of their frustration. Now that the water has cleared from their lungs they are presumably easier to understand. (Granted George has only talked to, and been photographed with, people who have actually been helped; but it's a start.)
Wow! Call William Peter Blatty! There has been another exorcism near Georgetown. George W. has had his demons cast out. He has seen the light. He has been cleansed. Praise Jesus.
We hardly know what to expect next. Perhaps the President will offer Mary Cheney the use of the White House for her wedding. He might invite outed, former NBA player John Amaechi to meet the twins. Or maybe he'll block some TV time and explain to the American people that he really never read any of the intelligence leading up to 9/11 because it was boring and besides, he had a tee time.
He may even admit that the closest he ever came to reading the Bible was watching The Ten Commandments three times. He might 'fess up that he never really liked or trusted the Christian Right. In fact, Jerry Falwell kind of creeps him out. Ultimately, he could confess to hating NASCAR.
Editors note: Reverend Ted Haggard is still straight after four weeks. Praise the Lord.
We all suspected that the President was just a tool of the right wing. Clearly, wanted-poster faces like Rumsfeld and Rove were un-electable so the Republican party needed an empty suit/empty head with a recognizable name to put on the campaign posters. (Posters of Rumsfeld or Cheney were considered too scary for children.)
Once George was elected the real power elite took over. They let Bush take the bows (and the heat) while they ran the country. Rumsfeld, Cheney & Rove had no interest in domestic policy which explains why, in six years of a Republican President and a Republican Congress, no significant domestic legislation has seen the light of day.They also had no use for the kind of real experience that Colin Powell brought to the State Department. No token black man was ever treated so shamefully. What RCR wanted was war with Iraq.
I think it was a wager among them. Rove bet that he could elect a can of Green Giant lima beans if given a free hand. Rumsfeld bet that he could march an undermanned, under-equipped military into war without anyone asking why or who would pay. Cheney bet that he could steal billions using Halliburton as cover. Compared to RCR; Hussein, Ahmadinejadand & 'lil Kim are tyros.
Well, that's all mission accomplished now. The three stooges of American foreign policy have left the building and guess what? George W. Bush is starting to run America. With two years left on his term (actually 22 months & 21 days but who's counting?) the President is beginning to act like the "compassionate conservative" that middle America elected in Nov, 2000. Wouldn't it be refreshing to have this man admit to his mistakes and pledge to do better? It would take the Mayo Clinic of spin doctors to fix his legacy thus far but at least he could attempt to do no more harm.
Give it a try, George. Keep Cheney on the road (there must be a funeral somewhere he can attend). Keep the bigots in Congress busy chasing Mexicans on the border. Keep Rove on ice and try to do some good with the time you have left. Call Jimmy Carter and see if he has an extra hammer.
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