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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, aka The Mormons, are in a snit this week over the distribution of a tee-shirt that depicts the angel Moroni, mascot of the church, swilling a trumpet full of java. The shirts are distributed by a Utah coffee shop called "Just Add Coffee". The Mormons, traditionally cranky when their symbols are the subject of whimsy, claim that the angel is trademark-protected. Wow! Does the Catholic Church have a registration mark on the crucifix?
At any rate, the spoil-sport attitude of the CJCLDS will certainly have a chilling effect on the follow-up tee-shirts which were expected to feature illustrations of Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad sitting under a fig tree in Jerusalem sharing good talk and a frappacino.
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Calvin Broadus, better known to you fans as Snoop Dogg, has been denied a visa to enter Britain for a series of concerts with P Ditty. The American rap star, who has spent more time in courts than the Bible, was arrested in a brawl at Heathrow Airport last year when several of his posse were denied admittance to the airport's first-class lounge. Go figure!
The Brits, who apparently feel that while they are stuck with Keith Richards and Paul McCartney, don't see the need to import substance abusers. Mr. Dogg is naturally shocked to learn that he is persona-non-grata in a country that freely permits George W. Bush to roam the countryside. Snoop is said to be contacting Willie Nelson for legal assistance.
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Becoming Susan
Attend the tale of Steve Stanton, soon to be reborn as Susan Stanton. Steve had been employed as the well-regarded city manager of Largo, Florida. Sadly, the narrow-minded town fathers have taken issue with one of their favorite sons becoming one of their daughters. In a move that will certainly rock the transgender community, the city commissioners of Largo have sacked Mr./Ms. Stanton.
It is unclear at this time whether Steve/Susan will sue the City of Largo to retain his/her position. If he hasn't exhibited the necessary testicular fortitude for a fight to this point, it appears unlikely that the impending surgery will enhance that situation.
The planned "gender reassignment" (I love that term) was announced at a news conference last month. When the city manager of a town of 76,000 folks in central Florida calls a news conference, the last thing you expect to hear is that the guy is planning to have several of his body parts (and some pretty important ones) pitched into a dumpster behind a hospital in Geneva. (Do you even have to go to Switzerland any more?) Sounds like a lot of trouble to go
through just so you can hit from the red tees.
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Russian police forces arrested hundreds of protesters in the town of Nizhny Novgorod in central Russia. The Kremlin never misses an opportunity to illustrate how democracy is thriving in the once repressive land of the czars. It seems that the demonstrators were protesting, among other things, the lack of free speech and free expression. The Russian police, regardless of who is in power, have always stood ready to beat the crap out of anyone who says that he is not a happy Russian citizen.
The Kremlin is quick to point out that they no longer condemn dissenters to the gulags. Instead, they are locked in a room and forced to watch Dancing with the Stars. Amnesty International has expressed shock at such inhumane treatment.
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It helps if you hear a news story from the beginning. Halfway into a broadcast of today's news, I heard discussion of a delusional, charismatic leader who employed deception and mind control to subjugate his followers. This puppet master relied on isolation and brain washing to keep cult members away from more moderating influences. Ultimately, the followers were led to their destruction.
Naturally I assumed that the story was about the Bush White House. Imagine my shock when I learned that the broadcast concerned the tenth anniversary of the Heaven's Gate mass suicide in Rancho Mirage, Ca. Honest mistake. If you should happen to see any photos of Marshall Applewhite, the leader of the Heaven's Gate folks, pay close attention to his ears. Look like anyone you know? Perhaps another delusional leader?
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