...or do a lot of stories slip past you during the holidays?

Things you might have missed lately:

Former senator and vice-presidential candidate John Edwards of North Carolina has declared that he will make another run for the Presidency in 2008. Wonderful. The field of Democrats running for President including, Tom Vilsack of Iowa, Dennis Kucinich of Krypton, plus the undeclared trio of Kerry, Clinton, and Obama, have made this race more crowded than the men's room at Giant Stadium during half-time. (At least in the men's room everyone has a plan.)
Seriously, when Dennis Kucinich looks at himself in the mirror in the morning, does a President looks back?

It wouldn't surprise me if William Jefferson of Louisiana declared himself a candidate, especially now that the Justice Department has unfrozen his assets.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Somalian army has captured Mogadishu.

Wait...hold on a second! Isn't Mogadishu in Somalia? Does this mean that the Somalian army has captured its own capital? Can I get a Risk ruling here? Is this even legal?
In a never-ending effort to confuse Westerners, the countries of eastern Africa are at it again. On a continent where national boundaries are drawn with an Etch-A-Sketch and country names change with the frequency of Brittany Spears' hair color, the events of the last week shouldn't surprise anyone.
If you haven't been following this story too closely, do not fret. The entire picture will change in a week anyway.

___________________________________________________________________

The FDA has declared that cloned foods are safe to eat.

Where stands the Christian Right on cloning sheep? Probably right behind the idea. (OK, that was cheap.)
Considering the green onion scare at Taco Bell and the spinach murders due to E. coli, it's nice to know that there is at least one type of food that doesn't require a skull and crossbones on the label. The government is suggesting that Americans import all there food from theislandofdoctormoreau.com. Works for me.
The whole concept of cloning is a little scary. I'm less afraid of producing cloned Joseph Stalins than I am of creating one more Kevin Federline.

_____________________________________________________________________

Mike Tyson has been arrested again.

Shocking!
The former heavyweight rape champion and all around screw-up was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence and cocaine possession. Those of you who took the "over" on whether Tyson would reach 40 years old, congratulations. I would have bet against it myself.
As punishment for his many and varied transgressions, Tyson should be required to tour America's high schools as a lesson on what can happen when you have talent, money and no brains.

___________________________________________________________________


As of midnight on New Year's Eve smoking is no longer permitted in Washington D.C. restaurants and bars.
The ancestral home of the smoke-filled room will officially suspend the practice starting in January. That's a shame. I had hoped for a return to the concept of fifteen or twenty old pols gathering in one room to name candidates who might actually be electable. Having suffered through a primary system that has delivered Mike Dukakis, Bob Dole and George W. Bush, even a dartboard would be an improvement.

___________________________________________________________________


Saddam Hussein is no more. The Iraqi government and the Iraqi courts have learned much from their American handlers.

America has traveled half-way around the world to depose and execute a tyrant. The administration and even the "liberal media" has tried to paint this as a good thing. Sorry to have to tell you this America, but everything the French say about you is true. You have been made to look like a bunch of arrogant cowboys.
The U.S. had the opportunity to do the right thing here. We had the chance to retake the moral high ground. Instead we determined to prove to the world that we can be just as brutal and savage as those we replaced.
No one, including me, is shedding a tear over the extermination of Saddam Hussein but we should feel some anger that our leadership has made us look so small and vengeful on the world stage. Thanks George and a Happy New Year to you ,too.

___________________________________________________________________

Monica Lewinsky has received a Masters from the London School of Economics.

Ms. Lewinsky, now 34, probably discovered that London wasn't near far enough away to outrun her reputation. Perhaps Jupiter.
In today's Washington Post, Richard Cohen makes the case for allowing Monica to move past the events of 1995-1999. I agree. All of the jokes have been done and it's time to move on. As Mr. Cohen observed, most of us have been lucky enough not to have the stupid and dangerous escapades of our youth plastered across the front page of every paper from here to Madagascar. Let he among you who is without sin...
Isitjustme wishes only the best for Ms. Lewinsky in the future. However, a word of caution. Next time, don't tell anyone and for God's sake, don't keep the dress.