News in Review Vol III
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Doro Bush Koch, daughter of former president George H.W. Bush and presumably sister to the “Genius of 1600” has released a new memoir titled, “My Father, My President”. So who knew that George W. had anything but a dopey brother? Anyway, we applaud any enterprise that keeps Bush children away from political office. Upon hearing about his sister's account of George 41’s life, the President was heard to comment, “Great. Now maybe I’ll find out what happened in my 20s.
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In an effort to prove that there is a new sheriff in Washington, Sen. Harry Reid, Democrat from Nevada, will lead a 25-person boondoggle to South America for the holidays. Stops for this “fact-finding” mission include La Paz, Bolivia; Quito, Ecuador; and Machu Picchu for New Year's Eve. A private military jet ensures that baggage and airports will not be a problem.
For any of you who thought that perhaps the last election had sent a message to your lawmakers regarding the use of perks, think again. "New boss, same as the old boss."
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On the subject of tone-deaf leadership, the White House, in the person of Clueless George, is said to be completely “altering his approach” to the War in Iraq (four and a half years and 3,000 dead Americans too late). Altering his approach? Talk about rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic! Assuming that the original approach was intended to create 50,000 dead Iraqis, cause civil war in an otherwise stable country, create chaos in the region, and endanger Israel; you would have to say that the approach so far has been a stunning success.
Stay the course, George.
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Members of the family of Billy Graham are feuding over where the popular evangelist, now 88 and ailing, should spend eternity(his body, anyway). Graham’s eldest son, Franklin, is in the process of constructing The Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, N.C. Unencumbered by books (there are none), this facility will function as a ecumenical theme park, equipped with a talking cow that explains Reverend Graham’s roots as a North Carolina dairy farmer. (You can’t make this stuff up.) The star attraction will be the graves of the Reverend and Mrs. Ruth Bell Graham. Sprinkled throughout the barn-shaped structure will be several places for visitors to sign up to spend eternity being pestered for donations. Amen.
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In a related story (sort of), Jay Bakker, son of 80s God-squad icons Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker, has gone into the family business. Reverend Bakker (pastor of the Church of the Perpetually Weird) sports a lip ring, arms full of tatoos, and Harry Carry glasses. He has landed a six episode mini-series on the Sundance Channel where he discusses himself, his Revolution Church, and himself. Jim Bakker, now out of the slammer, is naturally proud of young Jay. Tammy Faye is quite ill so we'll leave the mascara lines for another time.
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Iran officially opened the "International Conference Review of the Holocaust, Global Vision" - (who does their translating, Borat?) The conference, featuring such renowned scholars as David Duke of the Louisiana KKK, will try to determine if any Jews actually died at the hands of the Nazis during World War II. Time permitting, the conference may also cover the following topics: "The World Trade Center, Was it ever Really There?" and "Atlantis. Why is it that no Jews were on the island when it sank?"
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