If you know who Angus T. Jones is you probably watch too much television. I personally have been watching young Mr. Jones in his role as the mentally challenged son of Alan Harper on CBS's Two and a Half Men for about ten years. That roughly coincides with how long the show has been running. During that time Mr. Jones' character Jake has grown from a dim-bulb child of ten-ish into a dim-bulb 19 year old cook in the US Army. Army cooks should call their unoin about defamation. Jake has grown up on the show virtually untouched by education of any kind. Jones is currently an infrequent presence on the show, apparently coinciding with creator Chuck Lorre's feeling that stupid is only funny for so long. Program note: if you feel the need to watch really stupid people saying incredibly stupid things, Fox News has just what you're looking for.
Up until now I was pretty sure that Mr. Jones was merely playing the part of a dolt. That notion evaporated this week when a You Tube video surfaced (don't they always) that has young Angus proclaiming that Two and a Half Men is "filth" and begging his audience not to watch the show. No one should be surprised to learn that this bit of soul searching arose out of an interview with the Forerunner Christian Church, an Alabama sect with presumably fewer adherents than the audience of 2&1/2 Men.
Having just scrubbed off the stink that was Charlie Sheen, the last thing Mr. Lorre and CBS needed was viral abuse from a whelp of an actor who owes his entire professional career (and $350,000 per episode) to them. However, in a flip that would have made Mitt Romney proud, Mr. Jones has recanted. Assured that the Forerunner Church was unwilling and unable to match the $350,000 that CBS provides, Angus released a statement that is sure to make the cover of Ass Kissers of America magazine. " I apologize if my remarks reflect me showing indifference or disrespect and lack of appreciation blah, blah.." He did everything but offer to wash Mr. Lorre's car.
Apparently Mr. Jones isn't as dumb as his character. In spite of the toxic encouragement of the afore-mentioned Charlie Sheen, Angus must have understood that his chances of replicating the Two & 1/2 Men gig was about the same as Mr. Sheen's chances of kicking drugs and booze. (Seriously, when Charlie Sheen tells you to turn left, don't turn right. Exit the vehicle and run away.) Sheen is currently appearing in a Two & 1/2 Men ripoff called Anger Management. His audience approximates the attendance of Sunday services at the Forerunner Christian Church.
So far there has been no comment from CBS or Chuck Lorre Productions. Mr. Lorre also produces "Mike and Molly" and "The Big Bang Theory". At this point he needs Angus T. Jones like Mitt Romney needs an inauguration speech. Lorrie is famous (among those of us with too much time on our hands and a DVR) for publishing small-type screeds at the end of his shows. Whether his next effort will include anything about one-trick actors who forget how quickly Mel Gibson went from leading the Scots in rebellion to talking to a stuffed beaver, is any one's guess. If Angus Jones finds that he is no longer welcome on the set of Two & Half Men he can always find a place on the altar at the Forerunner Christian Church. The pastor can point to him as as example of "pride goeth before the fall".
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