I admit it. I feel sorry for Mitt Romney. I want to send him a fruit basket...or a Vermont Teddy Bear...or an autographed photo of Rodney Dangerfield. Honestly, Romney is the tomato soup of the Republican buffet; everybody likes it but something else always looks tastier.
On paper he would appear to have all the qualifications to be a lock as the GOP standard-bearer. He comes from the aristocracy. (His father was governor of Michigan and one-time Presidential hopeful.) His educational creds are impeccable. (Harvard MBA and law degree which he earned concurrently.) Business success at Bain Capital where he earned what the IRS categorized as "a shitload of cash". He rescued the 2002 Winter Olympics from a payola scandal that, even by Olympic standards, was horrific. (Japan and Korea finished one/two in the "See Who Can Stuff More Cash and Prizes into Your Suitcase" event.) He got the good people of Massachusetts to elect him their governor...as a Republican. That's like Kansas electing Bill Ayers as its senator.
Short of discovering a cure for cancer or managing the Cubs to a World Series, it's hard to imagine what else this guy needs to do. Hell, he even looks the part.
There are kids in college who can't remember a time when Mitt Romney wasn't running for or running something. Persistence alone should account for something. He barely had time to change his "Romney in 2008" posters to "Romney 2012" before he was back out on the campaign trail. Politicians will tell you that the run for President is a marathon not a sprint but Mitt has turned it into an odyssey. One suspects the book for 2012 will be "the Making of the President 2012" by Homer.
Don't get me wrong. I don't want Mitt Romney to beat Barack Obama next year. Heaven forefend. It might be nice however, to see a candidate for president from the Republican party who doesn't look like one of the horrors on Fear Factor. Watching the election returns with one hand clutching my passport is not the way I wish to spend Nov 6, 2012. At least Mitt Romney doesn't speak and act like someone in need of a rabies test.
Why is this man getting no love? Is it like happily married men attending the show at Stringfellows? Hey, where's the harm in a little flirtation or fantasizing? I'm not going anywhere with these bimbos. I'm just imagining. Similarly, no rational Republican (oxymoron anyone?) would seriously consider voting for Michele Bachmann or Newt Gingrigh in a "real" election. It might be sexually stimulating to dream of a president hiring black school kids as janitors or demanding Ronald Reagan's bust on Mt. Rushmore but not really. A President should sound measured, thoughtful, intelligent. Most of the competitors in the GOP race sound like Fox News auditions for Glenn Beck's job. Enter Mitt Romney.
It can't be that Romney is a Mormon. America's Christians should be thrilled that any President attends a church of any kind. The only time any of the last five or six Presidents went to church was to pray that some scandal would blow over. Even the Obamas, who went to church regularly in Chicago (remember Rev. Wright?) sneak out of the White House for dinner on Saturday, not services on Sunday. Romney's Mormon faith may be the only thing he hasn't reinvented, reconsidered or reversed since his campaigning began. That should account for something. If Massachusetts didn't care why should Kansas or Iowa?
Anyway, the reinvigoration of Ron Paul's campaign should alert Republicans that they have reached the bottom of the peanut butter jar. What's next: Rick Santorum? Herman Cain redux?
Republicans should be careful that Romney doesn't drop out after Iowa. What then? Maybe it's like Chutes and Ladders; when you have to start over from the beginning. Paging Mitch Daniels! Anyone seen Donald Trump?
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