...or does TSA actually stand for Touching Someone's Ass?

"Can't see London,

Can't see France,

until we see your underpants."

Shamelessly stolen from a great list submitted by JKS.



Can someone please tell me who is in an uproar about airport screening? No one I know. All the people I see interviewed are mostly interested in getting from airport A to airport B without the risk of ending up with their name on a memorial. 81% of Americans are on board. Airport safety may be an illusion but it's an important illusion.


The government is trying to protect millions of travelers moving through thousands of airports with minimum inconvenience, minimum hassles and minimum embarrassment. They are required to bat 1,000 every day. That's an impossible task made more difficult by the morons among us who think their personal modesty should take precedence over everyone's safety. Please, take the bus.



This is a controversy, like so many other controversies lately, playing out almost exclusively in the media. News people, editorialists, and various windbags on Fox News are telling us we are outraged. One guy with a videophone carping about his junk has been inflated into a discussion of constitutional rights. Folks, repeat after me, "You have no constitutional right to fly on an airplane." If you wish to fly you must abide by the rules that govern air travel in 2010. If your grandma gets scanned, we're sorry. When Neil Covuto on Fox stops whining about "feeling up grandma" and writes a cogent, easily understood policy for thousands of TSA employees that contains guidelines for determining who should and who shouldn't be screened, we'll listen. 'Til then, shut up.


The other canard regarding air safety is pointing to the Israelis. Their screening uses few machines and relies on interviewing and physiological profiling. That's nifty when you are policing about 12 airports and 1/12th the passengers. Anyone who thinks it's possible to train thousands of screeners in hundreds of locations is dumber than Neil Cavuto.


So relax America. Sit back and enjoy the flight. Remember, in most cases it's a lot easier to recover your lost dignity than your lost luggage.