How's that working out for ya...Vol II
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The first man ever to run for office, Og the cave man, campaigned on his discovery of fire; until his opponent pointed out that fire had been around long before Og. Og was soundly defeated. (Actual vote 8 to 4.).Exit polls revealed that none of the other cave men could believe that a politician could possible take credit for something that was so easily disproved. Fast forward to today.
Richard Blumenthal, Democratic Attorney General of Connecticut, is seeking the Senate seat about to be vacated by Chris Dodd. Because Blumenthal's chief rival is Linda McMahon, former president of World Wrestling Entertainment (possibly the perfect prep for politics) he was something of a lock. Ah, but that pesky New York Times, bastion of Liberal/Democratic thought, took a look at Atty. Gen. Blumenthal's military service record. It seems that Richard has been campaigning as a Vietnam veteran. Actually, Blumenthal's primary exposure to Southeast Asia was watching Apocalypse Now and Good Morning Vietnam. (In his defense, he saw each film more than once.) Having served in the Marine Corp. Reserve for six years, the closest he ever got to combat was the traffic on the Beltway and repelling the kiddies during Toys For Tots. The "General" in "Attorney General" doesn't make you George Patton.
America doesn't so much care if you served but we take a dim view of anyone who takes credit for service not performed. Even the wrestling lady can beat a creampuff.
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A British court has ruled that a law prohibiting men from wearing pants that expose their knickers is a violation of human rights. One might expect the law requiring baseball caps to be warn peak forward will meet the same fate. (No, there is no such law!) Face it! Teenagers spend countless hours in pursuit of fashion statements that will: a) look completely ridiculous, and b) annoy the bejeebers out of adults. Green hair, piercings, untied sneakers, spiked hair all send older people into fits of despair. Hello! Why do you think they do it? Go home, turn on Dancing With the Stars, take a Lunesta and get over it.
Note: It's not too late to add a mandatory dress code to the Republican Campaign Platform in Maine.
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On the subject of "banning" stuff, Florida was unable to pass a law prohibiting bestiality. You would have thought Florida could have passed a law banning sex entirely. It's not like anyone down there is young enough anyway. Opposition to the law came primarily from a Mr. Ewe Woolrich, President of Barnyard Love Evolves from Ethical Treatment or BLEET. As a compromise, no one in Florida is permitted to do it doggie-style.
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More banning. Kure Beach, North Carolina has banned vacationers from wearing thong bathing suits. "We weren't so much interested in restraining young American women as we were German men." said Mayor Dean Lambeth. "No one wants to see Fritz parading around wearing a marble sack."
The actual quote was "We're going to keep this as close to Mayberry with a beach as you can keep it." That's a good thing. No one wants to see Aunt Bea in a thong.
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An Australian cookbook publisher destroyed 7,000 copies of a recently printed book of recipes. It seems that the ingredents for one of the suggested concoctions included "salt and freshly ground black people". The destruction of the books was ordered when a possible sale to the National Tea Party Convention fell through. The Baggers were preparing to use the books as a premium item during Sarah Palin's keynote speech.
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