People who could use a good tasering.
Guys who run out on baseball fields.
The boob who was tasered in Philadelphia last week for interrupting play so the world would know what a moron he was, got just what he deserved. Overweight security personnel should not have to chase this jackass around the outfield like it was the running of the bulls in Pamplona. In a perfect world the perp should have been tasered, de-pantsed and made to walk off the field. Now that's entertainment.
People who flog themselves in the name of Christ.
Self flagellation seems the exclusive purview of Catholics. Why is that? Where in Scripture does it say that Jesus will love you more if you make yourself bleed? The closest the Jews get to self inflicted pain is paying retail. (Being Presbyterian is punishment in itself.) Baptists, Methodists, Mormons all want to be closer to God but no one feels the need to run down to Nordstroms for a hair shirt. If you really feel the need to suffer, force yourself to watch 12 straight hours of Judge Judy.
Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona
In case you were thinking of praising Gov. Brewer for focusing the country's attention on the deplorable job the federal government is doing on immigration, think again. In order to ensure there is no question about her racist motives, Gov. Brewer has signed a bill banning ethnic studies in Arizona schools. Apparently Latino students in some high schools were being told that they were an oppressed minority. DUH! This governor is about two signatures away from proclaiming "white's only" water fountains. How about a brown lawn jockey in front of the governor's mansion?
This "race to the radical right" is beyond disgraceful. John "build the damn fence" McCain (who opposed a border fence as recently as 2008) is desperately campaigning to everyone who will listen that brown people need to go. It's amazing that he hasn't brought back Willie Horton. Everyone was appalled when Texas whispered the word secession, but at this rate the Obama administration should be looking at selling Arizona back to Mexico. Hey, if we grant statehood to Puerto Rico, we don't have to change the flag.
Sarah Palin
True, general principles would be enough to taser Sister Sarah; it might even correct that annoying eye-twitch. However, adding insult to literary injury, the Quitter from Wacilla is planning to release yet another book. Titled "America By Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag" the volume will not contain a single word of new prose. (Sarah's first book did include many pages of original content...just not written by Sarah.) This book also will be entirely composed of the writings of others only this time the authors will be credited. The book will be a cross between "Chicken Soup for the Politically Challenged" and "Patriotism for Dummies". Presumably everyone who buys a copy will get a free insulin shot.
Publishers Harper Collins (owned by News Corp) has promised a wonderful compilation of bromides, anecdotes and even songs that were the inspiration for Sarah Palin's core beliefs and principles. This could prove challenging in that, based on her performance in interviews, Sarah has never read anything more compelling than "close cover before striking" on a book of matches. Predictably, wisdom such as "any job worth doing is worth doing well" and "always finish what you start" will be excluded. Maybe they can get Thomas Kincade to do the dust jacket.
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