Is that what that is? Well steal my Moonpie and call me a possum!
Tim James, redneck extraordinaire and would be Republican Governor of Alabama has become the darling of Youtube this week with his campaign ad trashing (or maybe trashin') the government of Alabama for administering the driver's license exam in 12 languages. For those of you that care, some of those languages include Greek, Korean, Farsi (spoken mostly in Iran. I guess Alabama doesn't want those suicide bombers to get a summons) Russian, Chinese and Thai. In other words, the language of every restaurant owner who isn't serving poke salad or collard greens.
Let's be serious. The reason Alabama administers the written test in multiple languages is to accommodate the foreign corporations that have built facilities there. The Germans working at the Mercedes plant in Vance, Alabama probably speak English better than the natives. Nevertheless, as a gesture of good will, these guest workers are permitted to express their knowledge of the rules of the road in their native tongue. Ditto for the Japanese in Lincoln and the Koreans in Montgomery. After all, we want those nice little folks at Honda and Hyundai to experience southern hospitality. I'm too lazy to determine why Farsi is among the privileged but I'm pretty sure it's not altruism or a neighborly hand extended to our Muslim brothers. There's a buck in there somewhere.
All of this is newsworthy (normally no one gives a rat's ass which goober is currently running Alabama) because of the novel, if slightly racist, legislation enacted by the State of Arizona. The government of the Grand Canyon State has taken 1 + 1 and gotten 11. One, the problems of porous borders and unenforced federal laws should not fall to the individual states to correct or subsidize. Two, someone needed to do something to kick Washington in the ass and force them to act. However, "where are your papers?" is a cliche better left in 1940's film noir. Requiring people who "look like they don't belong in America" to show proof of legal status is not the answer.
And please don't tell me this isn't racial profiling. The cops in Phoenix won't be detaining a samurai warrior in armour or a yodeling gentleman in lederhosen. However if your skin is tanned and you're wearing an old ball cap and flannel shirt expect the constabulary to take an interest. Can you imagine the ironic laughter among the 120,000 0r so Navajo living in the state? They're thinking that if they had adopted this policy 200 years ago, they'd own downtown Phoenix instead of a pile of rocks in the Mojave.
Laws like Arizona's are just the latest salvo in the culture war that has intensified with the election of an African American. People shouting about the loss of American Culture would have been right at home in Boston in 1880 railing against the Irish hordes pouring into New England or in Miami wailing over the Mariel Boatlift of Cubans in 1980. Considering the immigrant makeup of our population, America's terror regarding aliens is troubling. The prospective governor of Alabama could care less that driver's tests are given in French. This is about Spanish. "Real Americans" who think the war against their own government in 1860 was perfectly nifty, feel somehow threatened by bilingual signs in Walmart. Relax! Have a Bud, (currently owned by Imbev of Belgium). Take a ride in your Chevy (assembled in Mexico). Just remember if you like to dress up as a Venetian Gondola pilot, stay out of Flagstaff. Oh, by the way, you won't get a license in Alabama either. Italian isn't one of the languages.
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