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Amid the weeping and wailing across America and the world over the death of Michael Jackson, there was a noticeable shout of joy emanating from the State Capital of South Carolina. It seems that the sudden demise of the King of Pop has knocked Governor Mark Sanford clear off the front page of the country's newspapers. Headlines like "Buenos Airhead" and "Latin Lover Emails" were erased in favor of a gushing river of praise for the man most recently famous as the most notorious pedophile not wearing a cassock. Jackson went immediately from the bizarre owner of Neverland Ranch to America's most revered performer. Death is a better detergent than Tide.
So congratulations to Governor Sanford! With any luck he will be able to continue his environmentally laudatory interest in extending the Appalachian Trail to the suburbs of Buenos Aries.
Quiet congratulations also to the family of Farrah Fawcett. The Jackson story has also allowed her loved ones to mourn with more dignity than they would normally have been accorded.
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And speaking of people getting kicked off the front page, how would you like to be Kim Jong Il?
This guy has done everything short of short-sheeting the Lincoln bedroom to get the attention of the world. Threatening to "wipe America off the map" got him more notice on Jon Stewart's show than in the New York Times. Even his nukes aren't being taken seriously. Experts agree that, short of mailing one to Hawaii, Kim's ability to deliver a bomb is limited at best. Understandably, the South Koreans and the 30,000 American military personnel stationed south of the 38th parallel are somewhat more concerned. They are relying on China to keep Kim quiet. A steady supply of Ben & Jerry's Chuncky Monkey and Bay Watch DVD's in HD have worked so far. Fingers-crossed, soon Kim will be joining his ancestors in that great rubber room in the sky and leave us all to deal with Kim Jong-un (who is actually Kim Jong-trois) the designated successor.
Recent history notwithstanding, President Obama does not feel it necessary to swat every fly. Unlike his predecessor, Obama (may the Lord guide his free-throws) has adopted an attitude that sticks and stones may break my bones but your weak-ass nuclear threat will never hurt me. Obama has bigger moles to whack.
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Which brings us to the Land of the Ayatollahs. Iran should be a cautionary tale about democracy. Not every election turns out the way you want. As Bush/Gore 2000 illustrated, elections are messy and occasionally contentious. The Iranians will have to figure it out for themselves like we did. Hopefully they will make a better choice.
The only thing we know for sure is that cheerleaders from the conservative right are as unproductive as they are unhelpful. America has no horse in this race. As Viet Nam and Iraq have so tragically illustrated, we are ill-equipped and ultimately disinclined to be the world's policeman. If Iranians want change, they know how to accomplish it. They elected Mahammed Mosaddeq in 1951, deposed the Shah in 1979 and even voted for the moderate (by Iranian standards) for president in 2001. American support for any candidate would be as toxic as a campaign appearance by GWB in 2008. We cannot control the world's elections. Hell, based on 2000 we can barely control our own.
Amid the weeping and wailing across America and the world over the death of Michael Jackson, there was a noticeable shout of joy emanating from the State Capital of South Carolina. It seems that the sudden demise of the King of Pop has knocked Governor Mark Sanford clear off the front page of the country's newspapers. Headlines like "Buenos Airhead" and "Latin Lover Emails" were erased in favor of a gushing river of praise for the man most recently famous as the most notorious pedophile not wearing a cassock. Jackson went immediately from the bizarre owner of Neverland Ranch to America's most revered performer. Death is a better detergent than Tide.
So congratulations to Governor Sanford! With any luck he will be able to continue his environmentally laudatory interest in extending the Appalachian Trail to the suburbs of Buenos Aries.
Quiet congratulations also to the family of Farrah Fawcett. The Jackson story has also allowed her loved ones to mourn with more dignity than they would normally have been accorded.
___________________________________________________________________
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And speaking of people getting kicked off the front page, how would you like to be Kim Jong Il?
This guy has done everything short of short-sheeting the Lincoln bedroom to get the attention of the world. Threatening to "wipe America off the map" got him more notice on Jon Stewart's show than in the New York Times. Even his nukes aren't being taken seriously. Experts agree that, short of mailing one to Hawaii, Kim's ability to deliver a bomb is limited at best. Understandably, the South Koreans and the 30,000 American military personnel stationed south of the 38th parallel are somewhat more concerned. They are relying on China to keep Kim quiet. A steady supply of Ben & Jerry's Chuncky Monkey and Bay Watch DVD's in HD have worked so far. Fingers-crossed, soon Kim will be joining his ancestors in that great rubber room in the sky and leave us all to deal with Kim Jong-un (who is actually Kim Jong-trois) the designated successor.
Recent history notwithstanding, President Obama does not feel it necessary to swat every fly. Unlike his predecessor, Obama (may the Lord guide his free-throws) has adopted an attitude that sticks and stones may break my bones but your weak-ass nuclear threat will never hurt me. Obama has bigger moles to whack.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Which brings us to the Land of the Ayatollahs. Iran should be a cautionary tale about democracy. Not every election turns out the way you want. As Bush/Gore 2000 illustrated, elections are messy and occasionally contentious. The Iranians will have to figure it out for themselves like we did. Hopefully they will make a better choice.
The only thing we know for sure is that cheerleaders from the conservative right are as unproductive as they are unhelpful. America has no horse in this race. As Viet Nam and Iraq have so tragically illustrated, we are ill-equipped and ultimately disinclined to be the world's policeman. If Iranians want change, they know how to accomplish it. They elected Mahammed Mosaddeq in 1951, deposed the Shah in 1979 and even voted for the moderate (by Iranian standards) for president in 2001. American support for any candidate would be as toxic as a campaign appearance by GWB in 2008. We cannot control the world's elections. Hell, based on 2000 we can barely control our own.
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