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Sen. Barbara Boxer of California has been severely criticized by conservatives for alerting Condoleezza Rice to the fact that she, Ms. Rice, has no children. This must have come as a great shock to Condi who probably couldn't understand why she wasn't required to buy 50 bars of school candy every year.
The issue arose at a Senate hearing when Sen. Boxer reminded Ms. Rice that she wasn't sending her own children to Iraq. Condi allowed that although she has suffered no personal loss, she understood the pain of losing a loved one in combat because she had "spoken to the families of those who had". She also stated that, having spent eight hours watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, she now knew what it was like to live in Middle Earth.
One can only imagine the uproar that will ensue should someone from the Democratic side of the aisle inform the Secretary of State that she is black.
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In a related story, First Lady Laura Bush proved once again the importance of silence. Ms. Bush was quoted as saying that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice won't run for President because she is unmarried and childless. Thank you, Laura. It's hard to imagine how George W. could have managed such a successful Presidency without twin daughters jet-setting around the world with secret service agents fetching their Cuba Libras.
The Bush family causes one to revisit that old conundrum; does one clueless person know more or less than two or more clueless people?
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The tour guides at the Grand Canyon have been instructed not to impart specific information on the age of the canyon for fear of offending Christian creationist tourists. You can't make this stuff up.
It appears that guides at the Redwood National Forest are permitted to discuss the ages of the giant redwoods as long as they remind tourists that, "only God can make a tree".
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President George W. Bush was quoted recently as saying that he would continue his policies in Iraq even if the only ones to agree with him were his wife and his dog. Today, the White House Press Office released a statement from Barney, the Presidential Scottish Terrier stating that he can no longer support the President's mindless foreign policy. "There's only one person chasing his tail in this house and it isn't me" said Barney.
According to Barney's official web site (yes, the dog has a web site) "even a Labrador Retriever couldn't support this disaster... and they'll go along with anything".
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"Stomp the Yard" was the #1 grossing film at the box office this weekend. This event should pretty much shatter your notion that you have any idea of what's happening in the world today. Even if any of you have heard of the film (be honest) you will be forced to admit that nothing short of a military escort could get you into a theater to see it.
It helps to think of Stomp as a hip-hop West Side Story. An extremely unlikely plot is the framework for filming 90 minutes of some very athletic dancing. Instead of the mean streets of New York, substitute a college campus. Forget the Sharks and the Jets. These gangs are fraternities who compete in a sort of intramural dance fest. (Did I mention that the plot was unlikely?)
If you're not exactly queuing up at the multiplex to see Stomp, don't despair. There is another film where a mostly black cast dances their way into your hearts. It's called Happy Feet.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Repubilcan Grop-a-nator Governor of California, has proposed a plan for universl health care for all the citizens of the state. This would be the same Governor who recently demanded that California adopt stricter clean air standards and who favors some form of gun control and a woman's right to chose. Where I come from we have a name for a guy like that... we call them Democrats. Arnold has even begun to distance himself from George W. Bush. (What a traffic jam that must be! Think the evacuation of New Orleans.) When asked if he is still a "George Bush Republican" Arnold performed the finest political two-step since George Murphy was in the Senate.
If this is what is passing for a Republican these days, I may be the first in line to repeal Article II of the Constitution. (Look it up.)
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