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The United States has allocated millions of dollars in additional funds to improve the road system in Afghanistan.

This announcement has come as welcome news to several factions in this is beleaguered country. A spokesman for Mullah Omar, leader of the Taliban stated, "It's about time. Americans have no idea how difficult it has been to move men and munitions over the goat trails and cart paths of the Kabul suburbs." With the promise of new roads there is every reason to believe that the Taliban will be ready to reestablish control of Afghanistan once America withdraws its forces.
A spokesperson for the US Air Force was quoted as expressing relief that American fighter planes will now have some new targets to attack. "Shooting at rubble is boring" said one pilot. "At least a road presents a viable objective."
The Army Corp of Engineers has assured the citizens of the region that the roads will be completed in plenty of time to transport the opium crop to market in 2009.

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A contest is being held to name the new seven wonders of the world.

An organization called the "New 7 Wonders of the World" is inviting people from around the globe to vote on which "wonders" should make the list. The head of the Egyptian Supreme Council of Antiquities is appalled that the Pyramids of Giza should have to stand for a vote in order to make the grade. There are 21 "wonders" on the ballot including the Statue of Liberty and the Eiffel Tower. Those of you expecting to vote for Dolly Parton's breasts will be sorely disappointed. Contest officials decided to eliminate Ms. Parton's gravity-defying attributes over a dispute as to whether to consider them one wonder or two.

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Prince Charles of England and his wife the Duchess of Cornwall are on a whirlwind tour of the Northeastern United States which includes a trip to New York. Seeing the royal couple emerge from the Arch Street Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, it's easy to see why Charles preferred Camilla to Diana. Beauty will out. If there is any doubt as to why Queen Elizabeth isn't willing to let her son become king, I suspect that she is wary of other choices he might make.
Seeing Americans standing out in the cold waiting for an opportunity to glimpse the royal couple causes one to wonder why anyone would stand out in the cold waiting for an opportunity to glimpse the royal couple. Get a life, please.

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The federal government has only provided $145 million for the recovery of New Orleans.

As the cost of the War in Iraq approaches $400 billion, Mayor Ray Nagin appeared before Congress to complain that, thus far, the government has only authorized $110 billion in aid for New Orleans and, of that, only a fraction of the cash has materialized. Keep in mind that the government sent $118 million immediately to rebuild the Superdome. Well, all those white, season-ticket holders needed someplace to drink on Sundays didn't they?
I suggest that Mayor Nagin threaten the government with the possibility that New Orleans is harboring WMD's or nuclear weapons. The city will certainly see more troops than they ever did when the storm hit. Mayor Nagin may be deposed and executed but at least Halliburton would be sent in to spend (or squander) the billions needed for reconstruction.

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Two fraternity brothers in Florida were found guilty of paddling a pledge during a hazing ritual and sentenced to two years in prison. The students were tried twice before a guilty verdict was returned. Injuries aside, is there really so little crime to pursue in Florida that the DA in Tallahassee can afford two trials for one beating? Oh, by the way, three other frat brothers (who are all brothers) will be tried a third time in March. Paging Mike Nifong.

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President George W. Bush asserts that the missing "-ic" in his State of the Union speech was nothing more than an oversight. Early in the address the President congratulated the "Democrat Majority" for its November electoral victory. Some saw this as a slight to the Democrats.
While he was correcting omissions, Mr. Bush said that, regarding the war in Iraq, he inadvertently left the "un" off of the word "winnable" and the "ill" off of "conceived".

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The French have banned smoking in all public buildings, hospitals and schools as part of a two-stage program that will include restaurants and cafes by 2008. Wow! If you thought the French were cranky and hard to deal with before, can you imagine what they will be like now. A word to Germany...I wouldn't try another invasion for a while.