The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things: of soups and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and Carlos Danger.
There is a certain reluctance in writing about the disgraced/disgraceful former congressman from Queens, NY. Everyone from Bill Maher to Francis I has taken their shots. And why not? A sex scandal involving a man named Weiner is irresistible. And to compound the farse, the guy is continuing his run for mayor. Sure, there have been circus-style mayoral elections in New York before (1965 and 1969 come to mind) but those character-candidates at least kept their pants on. While lowering his trousers, Mr. W. has raised the bar on weird, creepy behavior.
Anyway, in an attempt to be fair (to keep our punches up, so to speak) this column will contain no penis puns, no double entendres and no laugh-up-the-sleeve jokes. Clearly, the story of a U.S. Congressman's serial sexting should be troubling enough without the added smirking engendered by his unfortunate last name. (However, please feel free to snicker at will if the spirit moves.)
So the big question remains...Holy crap! What was he thinking? How does a man with a model for a wife and a promising political career, toss it all in the trash so that he can pursue a career as a new age Long Dong Silver? Seriously, Anthony's bizarre peccadillo (OK that's close) makes Mark Sanford's trip to Appalachia via South America look sympathetic. He may have been looking for love in all the wrong places but at least he was getting laid. Bill Clinton looks like the lovable rogue. Weiner's actions hue closer to our friend Senator Larry Craig of Idaho. And he even chose a nom de stiffie, Carlos Danger.
Candidate Weiner, as we all know: 1) got caught sending pictures of his naughty bits to women not his wife, 2) resigned from Congress, 3) vowed never to do that again, 4) went right back to "doing that again", 5) announced his candidacy for mayor of New York, 6) held a press conference last week with his wife at which he refused to resign from the race and with her unflinching support, suggested that there may be more sexting incidents as yet uncovered. Actually the public did most of the flinching.
So, we already know that the ex-congressman imagines a scenario whereby New Yorkers will go to the polls on Sept 10 (actually Sept 10 is the Democratic Primary but the Dems will probably win in Nov.), take a deep breath outside, hold their nose and vote for A. Weiner. (Truth be told Weiner would fare a lot better if the polling place were at the city dump.) What we don't know, at least not entirely, is what the lovely Huma Abedin aka Mrs Anthony Weiner was thinking when she excused, forgave and supported her creep of a husband. Clearly, working so closely with Hillary Clinton gives her a rare insight as to how to navigate your public personae when your spouse is a skunk, but even the long-suffering Hillary might have handed Mr. Weiner his walking papers. Although, when you start grading perversity i.e. .sending strangers snaps of your genitals vs. having the planet learn how your husband has been flavoring his cigars, you're already competing for dumbest spouse of the year with Silda (Mrs. Eliot) Spitzer.
In today's NY Times, Maureen Dowd speculates that Ms. Abedin's Saudi upbringing might be a factor in her "stand by your heel-of-a-husband" attitude. As a Muslim woman (although born in the U.S. and educated at George Washington University) she may feel that being able to drive the family car and not being lashed regularly qualifies as a pretty sweet deal. After all, what Anthony does with his gonads is no affair of hers. It's like using the shower at the gym...except the shower is coed. In any event if she's not humiliated, who are we to judge? Maybe he's a good cook?
Still, New York is not New Delhi and the stink arising from the Weiner campaign might even offend those hardy souls east of the Hudson. The idea that people rally around locals comrades when they are attacked from the outside may not be enough to carry the day. It's not as if Mr. Weiner was Mike Bloomburg with a proven track record. Weiner's stay in Congress was marked mostly by fiery speeches that led to no legislation. Come to think of it, Mr. Weiner's notoriety stems almost entirely from making public what most of us keep private. By that measure, we should nominate Edward Snowden for Mayor.
OK just one headline:
"When It Comes To Sexting, Anthony Weiner Has No Sense Of Huma."
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