Employing all the glitz and glitter at its disposal, the Catholic Church announced on Friday that it was elevating two of its former CEO's to the ranks of sainthood: Pope John XXIII and the recently departed John Paul II. (Under sainted leaders, see also Steve Jobs - Apple and Jack Welsh - General Electric.) The new Pope, Francis I was so eager to elevate these distinguished clergymen to rock star status that he waived both the required "miracles" in the case of John and the decades of waiting which has traditionally accompanied canonization. (Actually, the process has historically been a bit uneven. St. Francis Xavier waited 70 years but St. Francis of Assisi only two. St. Joseph wasn't recognized until 1962 and he has a statue in the manger.) Those lobbying for Mother Theresa (for a lifetime of sacrifice among the poor) and Mel Gibson (for producing Passion of the Christ) will have to wait for a vote by the veterans committee.
Clearly, the spotlight that is the Papacy bestows a significant leg-up in the race for sainthood. No less than 75 of the 266 men (and maybe one woman) to hold the title have risen to the status of saint. That's 30%; substantially more than U.S. Presidents who have a statue in the Capital. Granted that includes 48 out of the first 50, when being Pope was short on Gucci red shoes and long on martyrdom. Nevertheless, your good works and piety are much more likely to be noticed if your mode of transport includes being carried in a big chair with a big crown.
Recent Popes have been a bit out of favor for sainthood. The last Pope so honored was Pius X in 1954 and before him was Pius V in 1712, 150 years after his death. Some consideration has been given to men like Pope Pius XII but his indifference to the deaths of seven million European Jews during WWII and his chummy relationship with A. Hitler (they were Facebook friends) have stalled his advance. Indeed, the reason for caution and restraint in the naming of saints has been the concern that some inconvenient fact might surface subsequent to canonization which might cause embarrassment to all concerned. The Church can hardly have its children praying to St. Fredrick the Fornicator or Mother Alice the Embezzler. Better to wait until all the unsavory skeletons have emerged from the historical closet before bestowing high honors on the unworthy. Sainthood used to require a bit more than a Google search. Some saints such as St. Christopher have been scrubbed from the rolls entirely because there is some doubt as to whether he ever existed. Oops! So who's on all those medals?
Note: for those unschooled in Catholic mythology, a saint is person who has lived a life of great holiness and is believed to be in heaven. They are therefore available for public veneration as in, it's OK to name your halfway house or Knights of Columbus hall after them. The Church does not create saints, it only recognizes them. Because holy people are thought to be in heaven, praying to those persons is a request for intervention with God. When a particular event (miracle) can be attributed to praying to a specific holy person, that person can begin consideration for sainthood. Currently, one miracle is needed for beatification (step one) and another for sainthood. The fact that these conditions were loosened by John Paul II who will now benefit, is an irony best left to history.
Rome has thus chosen two recent Popes for sainthood. One, John Paul II was pope for 28 years and virtually remade the Church in his own conservative image. The other, John XXIII, only had the job for five years and, while he rocked the world by convoking the Second Vatican Council, wasn't especially renowned for his piety. Nevertheless, Francis I decided to avoid any controversy by naming both a sixties radical who liberalized the Church and the pope who spent three decades dismantling all that liberal activism. If Francis were in Congress, we would have had immigration reform four years ago.
Still, of less importance than the nominees for sainthood is the timing of the announcement. In a brilliant attempt at misdirection (Look. Squirrel.) the RCC has deflected attention from the 6,000 documents released under court order by the Archdiocese of Milwaukee last week. The federal judge reviewing the diocese' bankruptcy filing ordered the Church to disclose their nasty little secrets. It seems that the good bishops of Milwaukee have been shielding both pedophile priests (shocking!) and their ecclesiastical boodle. In 2007 the archbishop of Milwaukee requested permission from Rome to bury $57 million in a cemetery fund (ha, ha!) to protect it from "legal claims and liability". In other words, the cash wouldn't be subject to use as compensation for victimized children. The author of that request was none other than Cardinal Timothy Dolan; that jovial, Heineken-swilling, prelate whose current address in St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York.
Dolan is the public face of American Catholicism. He's the poster boy that was interviewed by "60 Minutes". He's the "we're looking forward not backward" guy. (Considering all the litigants in your rearview mirror, looking forward is a good plan.) The last thing Rome needs is to have a legal shit-storm swirling around a cardinal who actually got a few votes for pope at the last conclave. So what better way to divert attention from the unpleasant truth oozing from Wisconsin than to make a happy announcement? "Pay no attention to those child molesters and their enablers in America. Ignore the hiding of millions of dollars from court settlements. Forget the bogus bankruptcy filing which will keep the Church in gold chalices and good scotch. Rejoice in recognizing the piety of John Paul II, the pope who masterminded the massive church cover-up of pedophiles and perverts all over the world. Hallelujah!" Pope John XXIII, who really was a good guy, is spinning in his papal crypt.
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