... or are there more things in heaven and earth Heratio, than are dreamt of on Fox News?

Stuff that was zigging while you were zagging:

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A quick check of the "who gives a shit" meter reveals that American Idol has fired all of its "celebrity"  judges. Pity. Now Keith Urban will have to go back to something he's good at, like getting coffee for his actually talented wife, Nicole Kidman.  The rest can wander in "C" list purgatory wishing in vain that Hollywood Squares was still in business.

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A recent article in the paper (yes, Virginia, they still print them) mentioned Muslim fundamentalist trouble in the African country of Nigeria. Nothing to see here. Muslim troubles are as prevalent as cicadas in June ...and just as ugly. Anyway, of note in the article was the President of Nigeria whose name is Goodluck Jonathan. Considering the scarred history of Nigeria, the President's name seems more of a interjection than a proper noun. "Lotsaluck" Jonathan might have worked better. One imagines his successor will be Outaluck Harry or Yournotserious Cooper. Stay tuned for updates.

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In the "Oh no he didn't" file we have a movie theater manager who hired an actor to dress in tactical gear and weaponry and storm his theater during a screening of Iron Man 3. The manager, Bob Wilkins of  Jefferson City, MO who apparently hasn't been keeping up with the mass shootings in Colorado, Massachusetts, etc, said "we had planned it for months and many were entertained". The fact that many were scared shitless has eluded Mr. Wilkins and his bosses. The theater has posted an apology on its Facebook Page. Whether they offered to reimburse patrons for severely soiled skivvies wasn't mentioned.
Which brings us to a related topic, namely:

Since when is an apology on your stupid Facebook page the "get out of jail free" card for every and any transgression?  "Yes your honor. I know I scared the bejeebes out of hundreds of people and caused an attack of PTSD in one veteran (true) but after all, I apologized on Facebook." Justice will involve Facebook postings only on the day that said posting includes a photo of the offender, nude, holding a sign that reads "Please re-post this picture of the most clueless, insensitive jerk in Western America to all of your friends."

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Pope Francis, the first of that name, has ensured his place in the Guinness Book of World Records. Not content to create saints the old fashioned way, one at a time, Pope Francis is doing it by the batch. The Pontiff has canonized an entire 800 person town. No not Las Vegas. It seems that back in 1480 the town of Otranto, on the heel of the Italian boot, was invaded by the Ottoman Turks. They were on their way to Rome, but Otranto looked like a good place to stop for gas. Anyway, the Turkish admiral, Gedik Ahmet Pasa, offered the locals the option of becoming Muslims or becoming headless. Curiously, the citizenry chose the later. ( A stranger, happening on the gruesome scene the next day was heard to holler, "Que Pasa!"). Being without their heads it was impossible to compare dental records and the Vatican was forced to canonize the whole town, if somewhat posthumously. If praying to one saint can prompt miracles, imagine what praying to a town-full will accomplish. Goodbye cancer.

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OK please tell me why everyone from Macao to Beijing is laughing themselves sick over this beautiful erection  edifice. The new headquarters of the newspaper The Peoples Daily, the Communist Party's main



propaganda machine stands proudly in downtown Beijing. The scaffolding at the tip top is a fitting reminder of how China views its place in the world, namely as a giant prick beacon. As the principal organ disseminater of Communist Party factspeak, the People's Daily has chosen this giant shaft as the symbol of the Party's committment to the people of the country.  Bravo, China. You in the back, stop snickering.

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And, as long as we're doing architectural critique, can anyone tell me what this is:

Your choices are:

1) A Klaus von Oldenburg sculpture outside the National Poultry Museum

2) The architectural answer to the philosophical question as to which came first.

3) The new basketball home for the Portland Pullets.

4) The early rendering of a statue of Karl Rove's head.

 

Wrong! Actually it is the model of the planned renovation of the Hirschhorn Museum of Sculpture in Washington DC. Known as the Bubble (catchy, eh?), the $15.5 million addition can be inflated for special events; such as accommodating Bill O'Reilly's ego. The board of directors of the museum are at odds over whether the Bubble is a good idea. The city fathers of Washington get it right most of the time (the WWII memorial and  Martin Luthor King statue being the most recent sucesses). The Hirshhorn is part of the Smithsonian complex so the decision will be a big deal. Other government agencies have offered to help with ideas. The Defense Dept. has suggested that the Bubble could be used to store the country's supply of helium. CIA wants to install a device that will x-ray the contents of tourist's fanny packs. Oddly, the Dept of Agriculture has been silent. How very egg-estential!