Admit it. You're a little interested. There's a certain appeal attached to rooting for a country whose location requires a consultation with Rand McNally. Don't you feel like a citizen of the world as you wax-on endlessly about the spirited striker play of Slovenia vis a vis Slovakia? Aren't you proud of calling a tie a "draw" or the playing field a "pitch"?How often do you get to yell Go Ghana! or Give 'em hell Honduras? The whole experience is like a giant game of Risk except you don't even have to throw the dice. Improbable pairings pit England against Algeria and Japan against Cameroon. It's like settling the Superman vs. Batman argument with a real contest.
FIFA officials have been sensitive to dicey political rivalries. You won't see N. Korea vs. S Korea unless they miraculously survive the opening round. The U.S. against England might have created a few tense moments had the contest been held in say, 1814. In 2010, no problem. Same story with Brazil vs. Portugal. Potential conflict in say, 1822. Today, not so much.
Anyway, at the current World Cup event in South Africa all the conflict seems to be internal. The team from Jolly Old England, having had high hopes coming in, is showing about as much visible output as a British dentist. Through three matches, the Brits have produced only one goal. English superstar forward Wayne Rooney has had fewer ball-touches than a cloistered nun. Rooney has compounded his weak performance by complaining that the British fans are booing the lads. Too bad! If Rooney and the boys don't survive into the next round, he won't be able to buy a pint anywhere west of Dunkirk.
In general, the Western European teams, always among the favorites, have been laying a collective egg. The mighty Italian, Spanish and German squads have been beaten by countries whose total population is less than the seating capacity at Manchester United's home stadium. Anyone who thought the Swiss were neutral didn't see them punch-out the Spanish. Italy was able to do no better than a draw against New Zealand. Hell, New Zealand's back up goalie is a sheep. The Germans, having put up four goals against Australia (how's that for a kick down under?) went to sleep against Serbia and woke to a 0-1 loss. Serbia was still miffed about that Archduke Franz Ferdinand incident in 1914.
And then there are the French; God love 'em. The odyssey begins in Nov 2009 during a match between Les Bleus and Ireland. The Byzantine system of qualifying rounds had these clubs competing for the last ticket to South Africa. The Irish were miraculously ahead until an illegal hand touch by Thierry Henry gave France the victory and left the Irish screaming foul. (Unfortunately, they were screaming into their pint glasses so their protest went unheard.)
Since their arrival in South Africa, French play has resembled French cheese...stinky. In two matches against weaker opponents the French have posted a draw with Uruguay and a stunning loss to Mexico.
To make things even spicier, one of France's star players, Nicolas Anelka exploded in a blush-inducing tirade during half time of the Mexico match. The bleu language was leveled at the French coach Raymond Domenech. The coach demanded an apology, Anelka explained which part of his anatomy he could stick that idea. Domenech sent Anelka packing (back to Chelsea where he makes a gazillion euro as a high-scoring forward). In protest (how the French love to protest) the entire team is refusing to practice. Given a choice between fighting and going on strike the French never disappoint. The incident has attracted the attention of French President Nicolas Sarkozy who, understanding the virtue of scoring, has asked for a return to the practice pitch. FIFA officials have ordained that if France can't get it's house in order they will send the German team to occupy the stadium.
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