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Seriously? You are the Conservative Political Action Committee. You profess to be a serious political force, representing a significant portion of this country, and you prove it by inviting Glenn Beck as your featured speaker? Should Julius Erving lecture to the American College of Surgeons? He is, after all, a doctor. Should Harrison Ford teach graduate archeology at Stanford? He already owns the hat and whip. Allow me to repeat myself...nobody is going to let you be the ringmaster if you continually play the clown. And no one is going to elect you to anything if you invite buffoons and side-show barkers to speak at your political events.
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A respected, high-ranking Pakistani official was rejected recently as ambassador to Saudi Arabia. Mr. Akbar Zib was denied this prestigious post because his name translates into Arabic as "Biggest Dick". Where are the Pythons when you need them?
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Long Island resident Kathleen Frascinella was ticketed for driving in the HOV lane of the Long Island Expressway while accompanied by an elaborately dressed dummy. The dummy turned out to be Rudy Giuliani. Rim shot!
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Australia's star hurdler Jana Rawlinson has had her breast implants removed to improve her chances for a medal in the 2012 Olympics in London. Rawlinson said she "loved having bigger boobs" but did not want to disappoint her fellow Australians. Jana's boyfriend, presumably one of those "fellow Australians" was unavailable for comment.
Ms. Rawlinson was following in the footsteps of American figure skater Scot Hamilton who had his gonads removed prior to the 1984 Winter Games in Sarajevo. OK, that was cheap!
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Shawn White, Lindsey Vonn, Bode Miller and Evan Lysacek have all performed beautifully this week in Vancouver however, Americans are cheering the real comeback story of the year. That's right folks, McDonald's has revived the Filet-O-Fish mounted fish ads. Although at a loss to explain why a dead stuffed mackerel singing "Give me back that Filet-O Fish" should attain the sort of cult popularity of Mr. Whipple or Clara "where's the beef" Peller, we are nonetheless captivated. If McDonald's could teach the carp another song, it might replace Susan Boyle among the "Idol" crowd.
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