...or will "may I see your invitation" become the new motto of the Secret Service?

Maybe the motto should be "You Can't Make This stuff Up".


In case the healthcare debate is making you ill (and that's a pre-existing condition) and the thought of more troops in Afghanistan sounds like Nixon Redux, you can still enjoy the ongoing saga of Tareq and Michaele Salahi. These two are truly the gift that keeps on giving. The only wonder in the story is why they haven't been sued by Woody Allen for stealing his character in Zelig or by Winston Groom for pilfering Forrest Gump. I was amazed that the Salahis weren't front and center at the United States Military Academy during the President's Afghanistan speech. This may be the first celebrity Ponzi scheme on record.


First, as everyone knows, the Salahis schmoozed their way into the White House and attended the early stages of a formal dinner honoring the President of India. That visit included a photo-op with the Vice President and the Pres. Having been outed and ousted that evening, the press has taken a keen interest in the couple and the discoveries are hilarious. They have been photographed, together and individually with Oprah, who professes not to have ever heard of them, and the Washington Redskins Cheerleader alumni (Michaele not Tareq) although there is no record that she was ever a member (maybe Tareq was the cheerleader). Michaele professes to have been a former Miss USA but, you guessed it, she never was. (Maybe she expressed an opinion on gay marriage and was expunged. That can happen, you know.)


Tareq, not to be outdone, has been touting his ownership of the America's Polo Club which, he claims, has affiliation with The National Polo League. Sadly, no one in the polo community has ever heard of The National Polo League or any teams that are members. One suspects that the Salahi's press agent is Jon Lovitz's Tommy Flanagen.


All of this would be just good fun except that the Salahis have been peddling their bilge under the guise of a charitable foundation. All of the recent press, and possibly a nudge from the pride-damaged Secret Service, has caused both the IRS and the Virginia Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services to take an interest. (Apparently the Dept. of Agriculture is involved because of all of the horseshit.) Anyway, what has surfaced is 1) a boatload of creditors who were promised payment from various Salahi events and, 2) several charities still waiting for contributions. None of this has matured into a criminal charge (felony obnoxious is only a crime against good taste) but hang on to your mallet. If you think the Godfather's Jack Woltz
"cannot be made to look ridiculous" wait 'til you see your federal government in action. Our newest celebrity can be almost assured a guest spot on Survivor, Leavenworth or The Real Housewives of the District of Columbia Women's Correctional Facility.