I was present when my cat had kittens therefore I am a qualified OB-GYN.
I own two cars which makes me an expert on the internal combustion engine.
I recycle so I know all there is to know about climate change and waste disposal.
If any of these quantum leaps in presumption appears egregious, imagine my shock at learning that the 2/3 term former Governor of Alaska has taken it upon herself to lecture the President and the rest of us on the science of climate change. Holy moose turds, batman. Sarah Palin knows as much about the science of climate change as George W. Bush knows about constructing a sentence. This is what happens when you leave computers around where anyone can type on them. OK so no one thinks that Bus-tour Sarah actually wrote the op-ed piece that appeared in Wednesday's Washington Post but it did have her name attached.
Academically, Ms. Palin's credentials in earth sciences extend about as far as high school biology. I'm sure the science teachers at Wasilla High School were thorough and competent however, it seems unlikely that their core curriculum extended to ozone layers and CO2 emissions. Sarah's likely exposure to climate change was the realization that it got pretty cold in January in Alaska.
The five colleges that helped Governor Palin on the road to a baccalaureate degree in Communications, with an emphasis in journalism (where she presumably learned all about how journalists make stuff up) never attempted to steer her toward a career in science. Even the world renowned Matanuska-Susitna College neglected Sarah's obvious scientific aptitude. Her brief career in broadcasting at KTUU-TV and KTVA-TV in Anchorage might have helped her to understand how a weatherperson operates a blue screen but, beyond observing "boy, it's gonna snow tomorrow" opportunities for advanced learning were limited.
Ah, but once she entered politics the world was her scientific oyster. Unfortunately, you are required to open the shell. During three terms as mayor of Wasilla, Sarah busied herself with building a sports complex, rewarding her allies and of course firing those who transgressed. The temperature of the earth never appeared on her radar screen. She did serve on the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission but her title was Ethics Supervisor. No science here either.
As Governor of Alaska one of her top priorities was resource development. In a mineral rich state like Alaska this seems a logical goal. However nothing in the Governor's truncated term in Anchorage ever gave the impression that any actual knowledge ever cluttered her mind. Small wonder considering how much information must be digested by those hockey moms.
Nonetheless, armed with not the slightest whiff of real information or actual facts (Why bother? Her core constituents glaze over at the mere mention of facts), Governor Golly Gosh Palin launched into a data-free tutorial on lying scientists, the conspiracy of climate change advocates and, of course, the misguided policies of President Barack Obama. She proclaimed with great conviction that America ought to boycott the United Nations Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen this week. This would apparently send a message to those snaky sneaky East Anglia climate scientists. Screw the rest of the world! Gosh darnit this is America. We don't owe other countries a darn thing.
Fortunately, Sarah Palin, like the other "influential" conservatives currently kissing tea-bagger ass, holds no public office and has no real authority (Limbaugh, Beck and [hold your nose] Dick Cheney make up the rest). You may now understand why Sister Sarah packed her snow shoes and skedaddled for the lower 48. Without the burden of an actual administrative job, Sarah is free to opine on any subject without those annoying constituents expressing their unwanted opinions.
Anyway, assuming that the Washington Post volunteers the space, we can look forward to reading Governor Palin's thoughts on: AIDS in Sub Sahara Africa, monetary policy in post- modernist China and perhaps, the rightful place of fighting in professional hockey. Just no more grown-up topics like climate change. Let's leave that to the numbers-fudging pointy heads who actually understand it.
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