More items shamelessly pilfered from other places...or just made up.
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The President has signed a law granting citizenship to Gen. Casimir Pulaski, Polish hero of the Revolutionary War.
Fox News has attacked this gesture as another example of the President's wrong-headed attitude regarding illegal aliens. Lou Dobbs of CNN fumed that after being in America for 230 years you would think Gen. Pulaski could have managed the time to apply for citizenship without Presidential mollycoddling. Gretta van Sustern wondered aloud if the General would now be eligible for social security and, if Congress has its way, healthcare. Michelle Malkin added that this was another example of Obama's fawning over Europeans while ignoring red-blooded Americans right here at home."This Polack already has a skyway and a day named for him. And what have we named for great Americans like Karl Rove...nothing." Other Fox News critics suggest that, because Pulaski carried a sabre into battle, he was probably anti-gun.
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Well, you know it's Christmas time. The air is a little crisper; the days are shorter and your television is aglow with an unending series of Kay Jewelers ads. Can't we petition Amnesty International or the Geneva Conventions to have these ads declared a form of torture? Seriously, every kiss may begin with K(ay) but they end with H1N1.
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Andre Agassi has recently published a tell-all autobiography in which, among other revelations, he admits to having hated tennis for all the years he was winning major tournaments.
In a related story former President George W. Bush is about to complete his own memoir in which he confesses to have hated drinking for all the years up to the time his wife read him the "it or me" speech around his 40th birthday. "I never liked the taste much" the former Commander-in-Chief admits. "If it wasn't for the buzz I would have preferred Fresca". Who knew?
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One hundred days into their imprisonment, the three American hikers arrested on the Iraq-Iran border in July have released a statement. While heart-warming, the communication makes no mention of how anyone could be stupid enough to go for a stroll in possibly the most dangerous part of the world. Were flights to Darfur all booked?
Naturally, we all hope that these knuckleheads get back safely but a condition of their release should be that their travel be restricted to Disneyworld and, for any sexual liaisons, the Appalachian Trail.
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