If you are a political junkie (and until Nov 4th, that's just about everyone) you may find yourself drawn to such places as MSNBC, Fox News or even CNN. As you dissect the most recent poll numbers or ponder the latest blather from Bay Buchanan or Arianna Huffington you may also be exposed to ads from a scuzzy outfit called Associated Tax Relief.
The ads consist mostly of obnoxious people bragging about how, with the help of Associated Tax Relief, they were able to weasel out of their obligation to Uncle Sam. None of these vermin indicate that the tax bills were unjust. They merely sit in their living rooms in their polyester leisure suits and gaudy jewelry and brag about how they avoided their tax burden by settling for pennies on the dollar. One of these underachievers clearly used the tax money for a boob job. You just know that these are the same people who bought a house that was four times what they could afford. Should we really be encouraging people to dance the dance but not pay the piper? The reason that tax policy is such a third rail issue is that most Americans pay their taxes and harbor deep resentment about those who don't.
So, let's quit attacking poor people who might get a tax credit even if they don't pay taxes. Let's focus our anger at the bums using Associated Tax Relief.
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There's an old Monty Python sketch involving a business where, for a fee, a customer can have an argument. Apparently there's a market for such services. A San Diego entrepreneur has opened a store where patrons can express their rage over the economic meltdown or whatever else is producing acid stomachs. For a fee of between $10 and $50 a client can smash plates, cups and various other breakables. The proprietor is thinking of installing life sized dolls of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. Eye gouging will cost extra.
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Department of "You can't make this stuff up".
*A North Carolina woman is legally changing her name from Jennifer Thornburg to CutoutDissection.com in order to raise awareness of the plight of dead animals used in high school biology classes. Best of luck to her mail man.
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*Melenie Hain, who lost her permit to carry a gun because she brought a weapon to her five year old daughter's soccer game, has had her second amendment rights restored. Judge Robert Eby ruled that a right to carry a gun is a right to carry a gun...anywhere. Should her daughter be assigned as goal keeper, the opposing team would be ill-advised to attempt any goal scoring.
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A Canadian man is attempting to avoid paying child support on the grounds that he was asleep during the conception. His story (and a wonderful story it is) is that he awoke one night to discover that he was having sex with his now, ex-girlfriend.
The crack research team at isitjustme has estimated that, if sleeping during sex was a valid loophole for paying child support, 82% of the fathers in America would be off the hook.
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So exactly what's wrong with Sarah Palin anyway? Why have her poll numbers plummeted like my 401k?Considering that the McCain campaign had about as much energy as a C-SPAN infomercial, you can appreciate the benefit of introducing a little new blood. (Insert McCain transfusion joke here.) Sarah is engaging, perky and charming. Thanks to the Republican Campaign Committee coffers, she is also nicely turned out.
Note to Sarah: lose the red leather jacket, sweetheart. You look like a cougar on a Saturday night in Des Moines.
Sarah's problem is that likability can't be your only qualification for high office. Quirky works well enough in statewide races (think Jesse "the body" Ventura in Minnesota or Jerry Brown in California) but on the national stage we like our officials with a little more gravitas. No one wants to elect Ellen DeGeneres to be President.
This isn't about "experience". History has demonstrated that what you've done isn't always an indication of what you'll do. People, especially politicians, can surprise you. The country has had almost two years to take the measure of Barak Obama. We have seen him in debates, in speeches, and in one-on-one interviews. In all of those forums he appears knowledgeable, intelligent and focused on the future. His bearing has allowed many people to overlook his somewhat brief resume.
Sarah Palin, on the other hand seems two-dimensional, poorly informed (occasionally comically so) and with the stereotypical cluelessness we would expect from a beauty queen from Alaska. Every time she opens her mouth she writes another skit for Tina Fey. In spite of the best efforts of her Republican handlers (her poor baby has more frequent-flyer miles than George W. Bush), Sarah just hasn't produced a personae that's more than the sum of her parts. America wants leadership not cheer-leadership. Governor Palin needs to be put back in the oven for some additional baking...and lose the husband.
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