...is the election process eating up all your brain cells?

Other things in the news...

Item

Fear not, America. Things are going beautifully in Afghanistan, especially if you are a crazy-ass radical Muslim. For one thing, agriculture is booming. Afghan farmers are filling their barns with everyone's favorite crop...poppies. The beneficiary of this farming bonanza is, naturally enough, our friends the Taliban. Apparently the Koran prohibits the personal use of drugs, but it's OK to sell poppies to Italy and Turkey. What they do with the stuff is their business. Things are so good that Mullah Omar is thinking of listing the Taliban on the New York Stock Exchange using the stock symbol "H".

All this prosperity will certainly have a positive effect on the end users. The price of smack in New York will become one of the few bargains in Manhattan. Junkies will now only need to mug half as many citizens on the streets in order to feed their habit. Rudy Giuliani is already taking the credit.

All of this good news has prompted Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice to participate in a Marion Barry moment. (It was former Mayor Barry who said, "If it weren't for all the murders in D.C., crime would be down.")

Secretary Rice was so eager to praise American success in Afghanistan that she completely ignored the pending execution of Sayed Parwiz Kambakhsh. Mr. Kambakhsh is a journalist and student who apparently printed an article off the internet criticizing the Koran for its treatment of women. In "the new, progressive" Afghanistan this crime will get you a trip to the gallows without the messiness of a trial. America's favorite Afghan President, Hamid Karzai won't touch this with a ten-foot hookah. Civil law in Afghanistan cannot contravene Islamic law and Mr. Karzai's hold on power is shaky at best. One blast from the mullahs and he's back in the rug business.

It is east to see why this administration is pointing to Afghanistan as proof of American success in the Middle East. Agriculture is booming, exports are at an all-time high, faith-based programs are succeeding (even if the faith is Islam) and the government is stable (so long as it remains inert). One can only wonder why other countries in the region aren't lining up for a slice of this.



____________________________________________________________________

Item

In other Middle Eastern news, a court in Iran has sentenced a 22 year old man to death for drinking. (In Texas, drinking is about the only thing that won't get you executed.) It seems that one of the delightful nuances of Islamic law is that, if you are caught drinking four times, hopefully not in the same night, you can be put to death (insert your own Brittany Spears/Kiefer Sutherland joke here). That's a bit harsh! If you're wondering why the immigration from Ireland to Iran is off a bit, look no further.

It's this sort of wacky jurisprudence that makes it easy to see why so many people around the world have embraced Islam. Who wouldn't want to join a gang of kooky guys that abuse women, cut people's heads off for the smallest offense and strap explosives to themselves for grins? It's like the Knights of Columbus only with sharper swords.