Just in case you were starting to feel sorry for George the Lesser...
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In his (thankfully) final State of the Union message last month, President George made a big deal out of a plan to allow members of the armed forces to transfer their unused education benefits to family members. Very noble. Military personnel should get something for the misery they've suffered at the hands of this administration. Having never attended a military funeral, George has had plenty of time to sit around 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. and dream up nice perks for the soldiers fortunate enough to make it home.
However, not surprisingly, the President's budget for 200/2009 makes no provision for any addition to veteran’s benefits. In other words, George was just blowing smoke. It's one thing to abandon the victims of hurricane Katrina (they were mostly Democrats, anyway) but for this administration to short-change the troops that they themselves put in harm's way is unconscionable. Considering the trail of misinformation and deceit that has been the stock and trade of this Bush White House, this offense is particularly egregious. Can Jan 20, 2009 possibly arrive soon enough?
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Once again the pandering, ass-kissing Congress is lining up on the wrong side of an issue. A majority of your Congresspersons have come out in favor of allowing the citizens of Washington D.C. to own assault weapons. Ignoring the fact that only a moron would vote for more guns in the streets of Washington, Congresspeople have to work here. If you smell the cordite coming from the NRA, you're not alone. The gun nuts now have enough conservative judges among the Supremes to win a fight on Second Amendment grounds. Oh goody! Naturally, Dick "shoot your lawyer in the face" Cheney is also campaigning for repeal of the existing weapons law. Why ruin a perfect record?
Among life's little ironies is the juxtaposition of the Washington Post detailing Congress' support for gun ownership directly across the page from an article about the gunman in Kirkwood, MO. This was the gentleman who shot up a city council meeting killing five and wounding the town's mayor. I quess that Congress thinks that the rent-a -cops at the front door will be enough to keep them safe.
As for the NRA, they won't be happy until the Washington Nationals establish "Gun Day" at the ball park.
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Under the category of "you can't make this stuff up":
The Mississippi legislature is considering a bill that would prohibit restaurants from serving food to really fat people. "People are just going to the buffets and eating" says Mississippi State Representative Ted Mayhall. Mississippi has the highest obesity rate of any state in the country.
Mr. Mayhall has suggested fines for restaurants that feed the tubby but he was unclear as to how the overweight would be identified. Possibly a form of the height measurement device used at amusement parks. "If you can't fit between these two lines, you will be denied service". Perhaps the doors to Mississippi restaurants could be made narrow enough to only allow skinny people to get in. If you think the NRA bitches about gun control, wait until you hear the NRA (as in National Restaurant Assoc.) squawk about this proposal. Do you think the Second Amendment includes the right to keep and bear french fries? After all, burgers don't kill people. People with spatulas kill people!
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A crowd of 250,000 Columbians protested last week in the streets of Bogotá. The rally was organized to attempt to stop the kidnappings in Columbia at the hands of FARC, the Marxist Leninist group that has snatched 700 people in the past 10 years. "Stop the FARCing kidnapping" was the rallying cry of the crowd (or it would have been if the crowd spoke English and had a sense of humor). The rebel group has become so synonymous with the kidnappings in Columbia that they are now just called "getting FARCed". OK I’ll stop now.
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This just in...
The little town of Poczernin, Poland is about to recieve a dubious distinction. Thanks to the work of Rev. Andrzej Trojanowski, Poczernin will become the only center in Catholic Europe dedicated to the performance of exorcisms. Apparently the ritual casting out of demons has become quite the cottage industry in Poland. There are currently 70 priests in the country authorized to perform the ancient rite. (Italy has about 300 practioneers but almost everyone in Italy is possessed by something.) A Catholic University in Rome is offering a course in devil extraction.
Apparently the symptoms of possession in the new milennium are more subtle than the Linda Blair, head-spinning, ceiling- crawling that made the 1973 movie so creepy. All sorts of aberrant behavior can be proof of a demon dwelling within. Father Trojanowski claims to be seeing 20 people a week who are under the influence of evil spirits. His office must be near Fox News.
Depending on your point of view, the new exorcism center could be a boon for tourism. After all, contrary to popular myth, exorcisms can take months. (Do devils have a lease?) The possessed need somewhere to stay (I'm thinking The Cast-Out Inn). People eating for two or more will need serious buffet restaurants. A spa would be a must. Do you know what being possessed can do to your skin?
Should you come away from this item with the impression that isitjustme doesn't believe in the devil or in demonic possession than you clearly haven't read anything written here about Karl Rove. The world would be a better place if George W. Bush would load up Air Force One with the entire team from his first term and head for Poland. Maybe Fr. Trojanowski has a group rate.
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