...are there really some slow news days?

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Reverend Al Sharpton, having discovered that his ancestors were owned by relatives of former Senator Strom Thurmond, has now requested that there be a DNA test performed to determine if Strom and Al are, in fact, related. While they're at it, Rev. Sharpton's DNA should also be checked against that of former German President Paul von Hindenburg. Any similarity would account for the giant airbag disaster that Al Sharpton has become.

If this nonsense doesn't keep Rev. Al in the papers, he can always admit to being the father of Anna Nicole's baby. More about that later.

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I think that we can safely assume that Melissa Etheridge is a lesbian. Did you see her at the Oscars? The hair, the clothes, introducing her female companion as her "wife" (How exactly does that work? Do they take turns or are they both wives?), and explaining that Oscar will be the only naked man in her bedroom. Boring!

Melissa, no one cares. Sleep with goats if you like. Just stop pushing your sexuality in everyone's face. It's unattractive. The last person to demand that everyone notice her sex was Anna Nicole.
Which brings us to...

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Here at isitjustme we try not to discuss the easy stuff. However, the on-going soap opera of "Our Ms. Smith" begs for comment.

It would appear that Anna Nicole is not having any more luck staying planted in death than in life. Apparently, Anna will be laid (sorry) to rest in the Bahamas. It's about time! If they waited any longer, she would have needed a trip to the Kremlin Resort & Spa for the "Lenin Kelp Treatment".

While the eternal rest decision has been made for Anna Nicole, the eternal custody battle for Daniellynn continues. Contestants include: Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead and 72 year old Frederic von Anhalt. The cable guy, the pool boy and the bagger at the local grocery have yet to be heard from. One guy, G. Ben Thompson, lost his bid when it was discovered that he had a vasectomy. He apparently forgot to read the fine print on the release form. Talk about people jumping on the bus after the accident! The sad part of this is that, for all of the clowns who claim to have slept with ANS no one is surprised or shocked.

Is anyone surprised that a Gabor somehow insinuated herself into this freak show? Freddy von Anhalt is Zsa Zsa Gabor's ninth and current husband. (One more and they can chose up sides and play full court.) Considering that Zsa Zsa was the first woman to be famous for being famous, (Eva was the talented one) it's amazing that, even at 90 years old, she can still manage to get ink in the middle of a sexy scandal.

The WalMart crowd can't get enough of this. It's like NASCAR... just one juicy wreck after another.

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A survey released today indicates that 87% of Europeans are happy with their lives. Well duh!
Of course they're happy. They don't have to spend all that money to get to Europe. They're already there. And of course, they're not living with the crushing shame of having elected George W. Bush as President...twice!

Seriously, if you want to see how to live a happy, stress-free life, watch the Europeans. They don't own Blackberrys. They don't commute for an hour and a half. They take a two hour lunch...with wine. They work a normal eight or nine hour day. They take six weeks of vacation. Americans who retire work more than that. Europeans don't stay up nights dreaming-up ways to work longer and harder. It's called balance and, if we tried the concept here we wouldn't be the world's largest consumer of Valium.