Liberals are smarter than Conservatives and I can prove it.
Just a few simple questions will establish what we have assumed for years: namely that too much Fox News can have a detrimental effect on your brain. Repeated exposure to Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly Neil Cavuto, Gretchen Carlson, Steve Doocy and the rest can permanently corrupt parts of the frontal lobe (higher brain function), the temporal lobe (controls memory) and the cerebellum (balance). There can be little doubt that this is not a nature/nurture issue. No one is born conservative. It happens over time, like hemorrhoids. And left untreated the symptoms can go from mildly Foxified to the more serious Foxanoma; and as we all know...you can't fix Foxanoma.
It's true that there still exists a small breed of conservatives called Classic Conservatives. They roamed freely throughout most of the 20th century. These are the small government, low taxes brand of the species who understood the need for compromise. They accepted the possibility that the other side might have an idea worth considering. They actually worked with people with whom they disagreed. What a quaint notion! Their leaders included the likes of Barry Goldwater and William F. Buckley. Even John McCain might have been included in their ranks. Tragically the few ClassicCons that exist today are being hunted to extinction. Richard Lugar of Indiana is only the most recent casualty.
I know, you think I'm being harsh. After all some of your best friends... If that's true then it's not too late. You can still save some of them. But you must stage an intervention. Otherwise you're an enabler. Make them answer the following question to show your friends the error of their ways.
I suggest using a crayon.
The answer to each question is
A- liberal
or
B- conservative
Which group contains the greatest number of people who:
1) don't believe in evolution?
2) believe that homosexuality is a conscious choice?
3) believe that the current President is not a natural-born citizen of the U.S.?
4) believe that the current president is a Muslim?
4a) believe that the current President is under the spell of an anti-American radical Christian preacher from Chicago? (hint it's apparently possible to believe both 4 and 4a.)
5) believe that the current President is a socialist, communist or fascist?
6) believe that the Affordable Care Act is a government take-over of healthcare?
7) believe that deficits have only started to rise since 2008?
8) are convinced that the current administration intends to remove all firearms from private hands? (include cold, dead hands in answer.)
9) believe that requiring photo ID for voting is an honest effort to curb voter fraud?
10) believe Trayvon Martin should have been more accommodating to George Zimmerman?
11) believe there is a global conspiracy among "so called climate scientists" to delude the people into believing in climate change?
12) believe all media except for Fox is liberally bias and in the tank for Barack Obama?
13) (and a bonus question for you oldsters) believe Jane Fonda should be arrested as a traitor and collaborator?
By this time your conservative friend has either walked out or fired off a series of tu quoque statements about MSNBC and what a slime Al Sharpton is. No matter, the point has been made.
True, not all conservatives believe all of this crap but damn few are willing to go on the record in opposition. When was the last time Mitt Romney stood in front of the American people and disavowed those among his followers who think that Barack Obama is a Kenyan or that gays are people and deserve the right to marry?
The point is if you believe that Jeremiah Wright is the President's guru, and Obama is coming for your guns, and climate change is junk science, then face it, you just might be a Tea Party wingnut and... none too bright.
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