...or will my Smartphone become self-aware before Newt Gingrich?

Things you don't need to care about and probably don't:

The French are holding an election for President. Because French politics is about as complicated as obtaining a Mexican drivers license (and about as interesting), we care only about the important stuff...like who has the hottest wife. Well, no contest here. Have you seen Carla Bruni, aka Mrs.Nicolas Sarcozy? She attracts a bigger crowd in Paris than the Louvre on "half price painting day". Mr. Sarcozy's opponent, Socialist Francois Hollande isn't even married. His "partner" for seventeen years was Segolene Royal who was defeated for President by Monsieur Sarcozy in 2007. (French politics is like an episode of Dallas without the big hair.) Hollande is currently chateau-ed -up with Valerie Trierweiler, a 47 year-old French journalist. Ms. Royal was 57, so an age upgrade there.

Unlike in the U.S., calling yourself a Socialist in France doesn't automatically consign you to laughing stock status on the debate stage. Should Mr. Hollande win (and he's looking good today) he will hardly be the first Socialist President of La Belle France. Think Francois Mitterrand who had the job for 14 years. Actually, Monsieur Hollande is a last minute replacement for New York's favorite hotel guest Dominique Strauss-Kahn. You may remember Mr. Strauss-Kahn as the gentleman who discovered a new way of expressing his appreciation to the chambermaids for good hotel service.

Anyway, if the Socialists win and the effort to roll back France's welfare state loses steam, France may wish to consider a rearmament of the Maginot Line. The Germans will be none too happy if their only real ally in the fight for European fiscal responsibility begins collaborating with the enemy. The Germans may feel the need to occupy Paris again; this time carrying briefcases.

__________________________________________________________________

Because it's fashionable to complain about the customer service that American consumers receive today, allow me to interject my contrarian two-cents. In the last six months (I can't remember back much farther) I have dealt telephonically with service personal from at least 20+ companies. They range from retailers, insurance companies, the phone company (Verizon), internet providers and the electric co. Since most of the time we are calling to voice a complaint or at least correct a wrong, we are not often aware of the manner in which we are treated. I have discovered to my shock that the attention to service is amazingly high.

Seriously, every phone service person I speak to, Indian accents notwithstanding, is gracious, eager to help and surprising tolerant of my usually crappy attitude. I realize when I'm asked if "they have handled my problem" that the words are scripted but at least someone wrote a script and encouraged the service people to follow it. Even when my issue is beyond their competence, the phone people are solicitous and pleasant. There are a lot of ways to tell someone their request is unreasonable and customer service trainers appear to have hit most of them. I can tolerate being told I'm an asshole (God knows it happens often enough) as long as the revelation results in a resolution of the situation. So the next time you are forced to call Allstate about a claim or HP because your printer won't fax, pay attention to the way you are treated. It might be the least contentious conversation you have all day.