Whether Barack Obama is Christian, Muslim, or a secret Druid, he is clearly praying to the right God. The Republican Party is far more fractured in victory than they ever were in defeat. That cute little gaggle of old white people in funny hats calling themselves the Tea Party has metastasized into the largest hemorrhoid seen in politics since Ralph Nader screwed up Florida for Al Gore. Having spent the entire summer drinking their own kool-aid, they are in the process of derailing what was, for a few minutes, a tidy Republican success. The GOP is yearning for the days when their ranks were filled with rich, dignified white guys who sent money and lobbyists but otherwise stayed in the background. Waking up the rabble has a price.
Last night's State of the Union rebuttal by the Republicans was the clearest example yet that Tea Baggers think the election was a victory for them alone. Not content to allow Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, himself a tea bag darling, to deliver the rebuttal to the President's speech, the baggers demanded a second rebuttal from Michelle Bachmann. You may remember Ms. Bachmann from such profound pronouncements as calling President Obama "anti-American" and stating that the census could be used to create internment camps. In keeping with the inflamatory rhetoric favored by the baggers, Rep. Bachmann suggested that Americans be "armed and dangerous" when fighting climate-change legislation. Ms. Bachmann might have used more caution in the selection of a platform for her coming out. The last two Republicans who spoke after Barack Obama: Bobby Jindal of Louisiana and Bob McDonnell of Virginia made a hash of the opportunity and disappeared into the political wilderness for years. Moral: Don't f**k with the eagles if you can't fly.
First Jese Ventura now Michelle Bachmann. Someone needs to check the hallucinogenic properties of the ink used on Minnesota ballots. At least Ventura was a self-inflected wound. Bachmann is in the Congress for God's sake. Flush from her recent landslide in Minnesota's sixth district (population 600,000. Same as Alaska) Michelle has been seen stalking the corn fields of Iowa. FYI. Bachmann's Congressional campaign cost almost $9 million and she polled 159,500 votes. At that rate, Michelle will need just shy of $3 billion to match Barack Obama's vote total from 2008. Because nobody, including Iowans, spend winters in Iowa unless they have presidential aspirations, Ms. Bachmann's motives are a tad transparent. (She is polling fifth in Iowa but that was before her Tuesday night speech.)
Michelle is the latest example of a clown who thinks she should be ringmaster. Being Queen of the Crazies is great as long as you confine yourself to being keynote speaker at the village idiots convention in International Falls. As Sarah P. is discovering however, the wider universe expects a little more than dopey platitudes. National politics is about broadening your base and offering America the hope of tomorrow. Telling the country that we are "under attack" and on the eve of destruction frightens the children and causes voters to seek a candidate a touch less apocalyptic.
Still, 2012 is a long way off. Hotels in Iowa and New Hampshire will continue to do a brisk business as a small army of presidential hopefuls gallump through the state. We have yet to hear from Tim Pawlenty, Minnesota's current governor and resident Casper Milquetoast. Still hovering around the hive are such diverse options as: Jon Huntsman, current Ambassador to China, David Patreaus, our superstar general in the mideast, Haley Barbour, the Boss Hog from Mississippi and a Georgia talk show host named Herman Cain. Meanwhile, The Prez is wearing out his prayer rug. He doesn't much care who the ultimate Republican victor is, as long as it's a fair fight. A long, gruesome, expensive divisive, ugly fair fight.
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