AMERICA EXPORTS MISERY
Poverty, plague and pestilence weren't enough of a burden for the people of Haiti. We had to send them Palin. Sister Sarah flew to Port-au-Prince last week as the guest of a Christian charity (no doubt distributing crosses and bibles to people who then tried to eat them). This was more black people than Sarah had seen in person since she attended the Broadway premiere of Sister Act. The 1/2 term governor of Alaska marveled at a country whose climate encouraged its citizens to live out of doors in such numbers. "I don't know why the lame stream media is always carping about everyone being so fat. Whatever the Haitians are eating sure keeps 'em fit. I didn't see one fat person in the whole country." Sarah stopped to chat with a woman cooking meat in the street and complimented her on the city's ability to keep the rat population at bay.
This is Ms. Palin's first trip outside the US, not counting all those RV rides from Wacilla to Iowa. No journalists were allowed on the journey into Haiti. (Well, Fox News went but when was the last time someone called them journalists?) The intellectually incurious Sarah feels no need to see the capitals of Europe or converse with leaders from Asia, Latin America or Africa. And why should she? No good photo ops there and besides, how many of those people either buy crappy American books or vote in New Hampshire? Not many, I'm thinkin'.
...AND LIKE A GOOD HEMORRHOID, SOUTH CAROLINA IS THERE
Well, if you weren't in Charleston, SC on Monday night, you missed it. The Sons and Daughters of Confederate Veterans staged their Secession Ball. Men in old-fashioned formal dress and women in flowing gowns flounced around in the kind of arrogant ignorance that only the South can celebrate. Sadly, some of the authenticity was missing in that none of the spoil-sport black protesters outside were willing to dress up in livery and serve the guests. Honestly, some people have no sense of history.
But if your invite to Charleston was lost in the mail, fear not. September 1, 2011 will mark the seventy-second anniversary of the German invasion of Poland and the Germans are planning a party to end all parties. The Third Reich Regalia will begin at dawn on September first and those goose-stepping fools won't stop rocking 'til October 6th... when Poland was crushed. Even the Russians are invited.
The German organizers have assured other EU members that they are not celebrating world domination. "We wish only to commemorate the brave soldiers who gave their lives to advance a wholly German point of view. It's just history."
None of this is lost on the Japanese who are in the early planning stages of a
December 7th, 1941 Luau. Plans include a dinner of Miso soup plus a special fly-over. Banzai!
No comments:
Post a Comment