...should we sing "one,two,three calls you're out at the old World Cup"?

Please, America, stop obsessing over the lack of technology to aid in World Cup officiating. I realize that, thus far, referees at World Cup have been about as intelligent and well-reasoned as Sharon Osbourne judging America's Got Talent after an LSD bender. (Like anyone could tell!) Instant reply cameras at the matches have illustrated time and time again that officials at the games are chosen for how good they look in those little shorts rather than their eyesight. Most should have a dog and sunglasses.


Nevertheless, this is the world's game, not ours. As relative newcomers, our obligation is to play the matches, get our asses handed to us and go home. The rest of the countries involved aren't whining and crying about lost goals or missed calls. Even the Brits, victims of the most egregious call since Merkle's Boner in 1908, have maintained their customary stiff upper lip. (And no, Merkle's Boner wasn't some Viagra-induced medical condition. Look it up.) America, on the other hand, having showed up on the world soccer scene about 20 minutes ago, can't stop gassing about using instant reply to confirm or overturn bad decisions. Stop already. The graybeards at FIFA will get to it when they get to it.


Imagine if Japan complained that baseball should replace the home plate ump with a machine to call balls and strikes. Or if Venezuela demanded that the NFL reduce the number of points awarded for a field goal from three to two. Our sports community (consisting mostly of the five guys who call in to sports talk-shows every night) would explain that these games are sacrosanct and, when those countries have been playing as long as us, they can suggest rule changes.


We did pretty well in South Africa this time around. The country really got into the games. (Possibly because the time difference gave fans an excuse to be in a bar at 9:30 AM.) We'll do better next time. In the meantime, be thankful that the Obama administration is proposing a bill outlawing the sale, manufacture or importation of vuvuzelas. After all, we wouldn't want anything keeping baseball fans awake.